South Park - Season 8 Edit

A and the other snail says "Well that's gonna add another hour to his time. "

A bear, mining for coal.

A big fat turd or a stupid douche. Which do you like best?

A break from what?! You haven't done anything!

A charlie horse on the thigh, and a second degree titty twister. And from the damage to his head area,

A cheeg fry?

A cheeg fry?

A day you were certainly all remember...

A deadly but compassionate ninja who protects those in trouble.

A duck? Dude, don't be stupid! Those OC kids are professional dancers!

A feel good romp for the whole family.

A giant douche.

A giant douche.

A good friend even tried to talk me out of it, and I wouldn't listen to him.

A great adventure is waiting for you ahead.

A guy moves into South Park with a FERRIS wheel in his back yard,

A little boy with three cubs, and an abortion plot.

A little midngith blue!

A lot of stupid things that we regret.

A new bright shiny star hung in the sky.

A picture of your mom's boobs?

A robot with smelly farts?

A Sexy Action News Team Special Report: Cough Medicine Abuse in School!

A store where girls can buy everything they need to be just like me!

A tragedy?

A turd sandwich is not only the first turd to be nominated school mascot, but even the first, sandwich.

A turd sandwich.

A twelve pack of Dr. Pepper, A Shoots & Ladders game used only three times,

A what?? For God's sake, where??

A white meat chicken... breast, if you will, that has been breaded,

A woman all you young ones can look up to...

A Woodland Critter Christmas!

A wunderkind psychic detective. At the crime scene, the young psychic had visions flash before his mind,

Aaaaaaaa!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

AAAAAAAAH!

AAAAAAAH!

AAAAAAAH!! AAAAAAAH!!

Aaaaaah!!

Aaaaah!

AAAAAH!

AAAAAH! Let me in, Dad!

Aaaah! Aaaah, stop!

AAAAH!!

Aaaah!!

AAAAH!!

Aaaah!! He's wearing the skin of an animal!

Aaagyaaaaah Timmih!

AAAH!

Aaand there are intransitive verbs, such as

Aagh! Aaaahh!

Aaron, I'm standing at the time border where some kind of mass protest has broken out.

Aaron, I'm standing at the time border which scientists say follow Terminator rules.

Aaron, the scientists have been able to communicate further and have uncovered

Aaron. Eh it appears that in the future,

ACK!

Action News.

Actually, Eric is still supposed to be grounded

Actually, I was hoping to see your boyfriend.

Adam Sandler is like, in love with some girl,

Adam Sandler is trapped on an island and falls in love with a coconut.

Adding a parody slant to the satire.

Admit it was our fault?

After all, they were AWESOM O's ideas.

Again?

Agh! You see guys, this is why you don't bring **** along on the away team: they don't play along!

Ah and Wall*Mart really gives back to the community! Us peopleare certainly happy to have a store like Wall*Mart,

Ah actually we were just hoping we could talk to you guys real quick.

Ah hello everyone. Achtung.

Ah I did. I wrote something down.

Ah I'll be right back. I'm gonna get some Sunny Delight.

Ah thank you, thank you. I'm happy to see that all of you. were affected by The Passion like I was.

Ah whatever, Kenny!

Ah, actually, Mr. Jefferson, we were seeing if Blanket wanted to chop wood with us

Ah, Buttters, it's getting late. You should be getting ready for bed soon

Ah, hey fellas! Ah I see you met my robot

Ah, I'd do you in, Trent. Ah, I don't wanna get involved. Or else my parents will ground me.

Ah, I'm sorry, robot, they want me to reprogram you.

Ah, no, these people claim that they are the "real" psychic detectives.

Ah, screw you hippie!

Ah, Token, can I have a quick word with you?

Ah, yes, but who are you?

Ah!

Ah!

Ah! You mean he's a Jew!

Ah. You know the answer, but not the question!

Ahh no thanks, that's okay.

Ahh testing? Hello? Okay uh, welcome everyone.

Ahh, Turd Sandwich, I will ask you not to speak out of turn.

Ahhh it isn't cheap. I've gotta keep vice off my back and secure shipments from overseas.

Aight y'all. It's showtime!

Aj, Butters, why don't you take Paris up to your room for a little while,

All alone in the world because their mother had died

All are welcome. All are welcome!

All I have to do is make people think I'm handicapped, and I get a thousand dollars.

All I know is he lives somewhere in Malibu. Now stop wasting me and Mel Gibson's time, you little wussy prick.

All I've been hearing since Mr. Jefferson moved here are sick lies!

All it takes is a little self control and personal responsibility.

All of the special athletes seem to be in tip top condition, and I can't even get past seven ru reps

All of this because of the little boy in the red poofball hat.

All right all right all right!! God!!

All right all right, quiet, children!

All right AWESOM O, time for us to get some sleep.

All right come on, let's do this! DJ! Give us a hot track!

All right dude, get in his bed.

All right everyone!

All right guys, come on. Let's go to the next house.

All right son, dancing is all about a frame of mind.

All right Stan!

All right turd sandwich!

All right you guys, we need to stay calm and just do the right thing.

All right, all right, come on come on, young man.

All right, all right!

All right, and now, dancing to the song

All right, but you guys owe me for this.

All right, Butters, keep your eyes open.

All right, Butters, tell you what:

All right, Butters!

All right, children, I have just been informed that since our school has been attacked

All right, children, let's get to rehearsin'!

All right, children, the school board has mandated that I must now teach class in both present day English and Futurespeak.

All right, dickhole! Time for you to pay!

All right, everyone! Forward, march!

All right, fine!

All right, fine! But someday you're gonna have to learn to let people in!

All right, fine! Forget it!

All right, fine.

All right, fine.

All right, fine. Come on, fatass!

All right, folks, my name is Darryl Weathers and I'm with the Construction Workers' Union.

All right, folks, our next item up for bids is this lovely 19th Century lamp.

All right, good. Now, let's all go eat some of Mrs. Gruhd's great future cooking.

All right, hang on. We're about to land

All right, here we go.

All right, it's decided. Let's all write in "Giant Douche. "

All right, let's get the hell out of here!

All right, let's go, Murphy. Hang on a second, where are, where are my car keys?

All right, let's just say all the bad things said about Mr

All right, make sure you get pictures of everything in this crime scene.

All right, Mom, look. Here's... the truth.

All right, Ms. Hilton... we'll find you another dog.

All right, nice reporting, guys. Nice.

All right, now everybody take a tablet and a pencil.

All right, now we'll see which one really has staying power. Number one?

All right, people, we are all extremely upset over what's happened.

All right, people. Let's give Blacky a nice welcome home.

All right, power it on.

All right, Sexy Action School News Team, it's time to go to work.

All right, so after my report on the unsanitary conditions of the school cafeteria,

All right, tell me about it.

All right, the county fair's still open!

All right, then you take him to the hospital, Kyle.

All right, thirty yards, Timmy! Keep it up!

All right, this is it! If Wall*Mart has a heart, we have to find it and destroy it!

All right, this one I can win!

All right, Turd Sandwich, this next question is for you.

All right, we all need to come up with ideas for our show.

All right, we gotta find three other kids that can dance.

All right, we just need one more person!

All right, we'll check this Deets guy out. But let's use that one thing that we never use.

All right, well, why don't you show me what you got?

All right, what kind of atmosphere are you reading, Vulcan Jew?

All right, what the hell is going on?! Why is there a red star glowing in the sky?

All right, when this Jefferson guy shows up,

All right, yeah, woohoo, we did it!

All right, you future bastards! Think you can take our jubs?! Well, we'll show you! Come'ere, Earl!.

All right!

All right!

All right! And now I will use my power to... turn Kyle into a chicken! Bleh!

All right! And now I will use my power to... turn Kyle into a chicken! Bleh!

All right! So, any ideas how we can stop the future from happening?

All right! Things just might work out!

All right! Woohoo! Awesome!

All right?

All right?

All right?

All right. Come on you guys, we have to get back home.

All right. Looks like I have to use my power of invisibility to get by.

All right. Now we just gotta sneak him into town.

All right. Now, where did you get served?

All right. Now, where did you get served?

All right. Thanks a lot for helping us, dude.

All right. We got served.

All the adults are trying to get us.

All the girls in South Park are gonna be total sluts from now on, so you can just get used to it.

All the students love it. It's an incredible idea called Close up Animals With a Wide Angle Lens.

All this can be yours.

All Wall*Marts start a self destruction sequence if you break a mirror in the back.

All we can do is try, Harrison.

All you ever do is talk about your balls!

Along with the cash prize of one thousand dollars.

Alright, this is gonna sting for a second.

Americans have evolved into a hairless uniform mix of all races.

And a coupon for a free side of fries with a purchase of any deloxe hamburger at Red Robin.

And a dead mom.

And a squishy thing that lives in her pants!

And a turd sandwich because it's usually the choice I'll have.

And a turd sandwich.

And all day watched abortion after abortion take place.

And all those who don't accept Christ.

And apparently the organizer is just an eight year old boy who was touched by the film.

And are now here at the time border trying to get national attention.

And as we march for The Pasion we should also voice our support!

And AWESOM O is a robot, so he don't need to eat.

And back home, there were presents, and lots of food to get fat.

And called him a pussy, so my dad came home and beat me.

And Chickadee y the chickadee, all made the forest their house.

And convinced me to stay down in a bomb shelter for three days.

And disappeared before the trial.

And do you know why?! So I can play banjo!

And each one of them had a quite interesting name

And eleven if you count the two family members that killed themselves afterward.

And enough bulk buy ramen to last us a thousand winters.

And fuck you, bitch!

And Gary and Sally here have just managed to have a child together.

And Giant Douche has... one thousand four hundred and ten. Giant Douche still wins.

And give 'em this.

And good evening, friends!

And has come back to 21st century America, uh to find a job here.

And have been able to learn that he is from the year 3045.

And he didn't deserve what happened to him in Mel Gibson's movie.

And he got served up somethin' fierce.

And he lives at 621 Castillo Street. He's usually there between seven and eleven p.

And he was immediately arrested!

And he winked at his critter friends and leapt to their side!

And he's computin' his way to my heart. My robot friend.

And he's gonna kill it again.

And he's never gonna play on me ever again!

And I am Black Taku, with the power of perfect spelling!

And I can go over to his house whenever I want!

And I got an interview with him for our news show.

And I guess your best wasn't good enough.

And I have to find the very best dancers in South Park to be on my crew.

And I made a hundred bucks!

And I would like to thank all of the students and their parents for coming.

And I'm and I'm not gonna be threatened into voting if I don't feel comfortable with it!

And I'm gonna go there and buy a thong!

And I'm Rick Cartman.

And if the Road Warrior says it, it must be true.

And if we can't report news the honest way, what good is n news reporting?

And if you can't face that, then you might as well sit here and play Leggos until you're an old man.

And if you don't believe in Mr. Jefferson, then you can just not come!

And if you miss this up, so help me GOD,

And if you'll let me, I'll be back next year. To compete with honor.

And in America, if something sucks, you're supposed to be able to get your money back!

And in the twinkling starlight, each little cub did their portion.

And inject this directly into your bloodstream

And instead you had to break through yourself. This is really the beginning of a whole new chapter of your life, Kyle.

And is having psychic visions!

And it happens once a year.

And it was the best Christmas ever for the boy in the red poofball hat.

And it... so happens that these chosen people killed your Lord.

And it's because of times like these I was forced to a life of evil.

And KYLE has to see a problem with it!

And make the robot think he's real!

And meanwhile three lion cubs were crying away

And Mel Gibson says you are a sloth and you are a liar.

And missed out on his childhood.

And Mr. Jefferson is just a nice guy

And my robot friend. My robot friend.

And no longer have to worry about whether or not you're comin' home.

And now here's Rick Cartman!

And now I understand we're going to Harrison Moore, uh, for an explanation on how the time portal works.

And now I'd like to show you my ... Wishing Tree. Jam on!

And now one of our fine young shlokas, Kyle Broflovski, has asked if he could speak to the congragation.

And now these people from the future are showin' up and offerin' to do the same work for next to nothin'!

And now you will have a place of honor, as my nineteenth victim.

And now your second nominee, Turd Sandwich.

And now, again, one man's vision ushers in a new era of aerial travel, proving the power of imagination and intellect.

And now, back to The Price is Right!

And now, for a look at the weather, here is Token Black, and Token, I hope there's no tornadoes headed our way.

And now, for a look at what's on the menu for school lunch today, here's Stan Marsh.

And now, for a quick celebrity check, here's Butters Stotch.

And now, here is Bill O' Reilly.

And now, I believe, in 2004, the ******* community needs to apologize for the death of Jesus.

And now, we proud few gathere here as a people brought together by its message!

And on my left is aging hippie liberal douche.

And on that magical day, stumbling upon all of that,

And one game we played was "Fireman. "

And our baby claws.

And our news team them, very much.

And out in the woods the boy steamed right ahead,

And panda bears for the preschoolers.

And poor people don't watch the news nyanyanyanyanya nya

And pray that maybe the other team comes down with cancer.

And said the N word out loud too many times.

And say how remarkable it is that this little boy brought us all together.

And she'll do it for ten cents an hour.

And she's ovulating.

And so he built a time portal

And so it was that God sent his only son down from heaven, to die for our sins.

And so the four ninjas were forced to join forces with Craig and his friends to find Professor Chaos,

And so the little boy and the cubs gathered around the chair base,

And so the little boy and the cubs gathered around the chair base,

And so we're putting all the best dancers in South Park together to beat Orange County.

And so, using some paper and working with glee,

And so, we will now give out the Spirit Award, to the handicapped person who came in very last. Eric Cartman!

And some new pliers.

And soon the forest would suffer from the offspring Satan begat.

And start a magical journey?

And start humpin' each other until they disappear!

And that's all for Super School News. Enjoy your day at South Park Eh .

And the challengers, the South Park Diggitys!

And the Cows had to forfeit.

And the fil o fax says he moved from yoru area.

And the most popular selection will be the school's new mascot.

And the people from the future won't exist to take our jobs!

And the police immiedately arrested the owner of Kentucky Fried Chicken.

And the second?

And the steroids made me blind to the people I was hurting.

And then cooked. I've been told there will also be tater tots, and a vegetable dish.

And then he just gets off because somebody messed up

And then I'm gonna buy you a niiice steak dinner with all the trimmings.

And there are people who need you to step up!

And there will now be a school wide vote between the top two nominations.

And these are my friends Timsy, Winky and Nod.

And they all lived happily ever after. Except for Kyle, who died of AIDS two weeks later.

And this friend belongs to a certain, Chosen People of Israel.

And threw him in a dirty prison cell with doodie feces on the walls.

And to live with a bunch of hicks who don't know anything.

And took them to where abortions are performed.

And Two Minutes In The Closet, and do ketamine.

And we asked them to lie and make up some false molestation charges.

And we have an ultimate grand special champion for 2004!

And we start to heal the wounds of all our yesterdays

And we were taking him to the vet when you fucked it all up! Butters!

And we're cut!

And we're supposed to vote between a giant douche and a turd sandwich.

And went back to the forest to set everything right!

And what about all the

And what we see now is a happier school, 100% cough medicine free.

And what we're talkin' about today are the immigrants from the future.

And whatever's troublin' you, I wanna try and, and help you with it.

And when all the ideas start coming, just write 'em down. We might not remember everything otherwise.

And when he walked up to the door, I could have sworn he was white.

And when people have children, they have to grow up!

And when that little eight year old boy walked up and flashed his... penis...

And where is your mom?

And why not? Mark here has been with Kelly for three years now.

And wishes the same for his family.

And you can change all of your evil molesting ways.

And you can't do it with us because you are too poor

And you can't play with us.

And you got rid o'her.

And you have to tell us which one would be funnier..

And you know it might be hard,

And you'll never get your mom to agree to something so horrible, so HA!

And you're a good wife, Maggie.

And your eyes looking at the ground.

And, and you know how serial killers sometimes return to the scene of the crime?

And, these immigrants won't need to come back here looking for work

And... well, I can make ends meet.

Animals Close Up With A Wide Angle Lens.

Another butterscotch candy?

Another devastating loss for the Cows last night, Eric. They were ahead

Another dog killed itself!

Another wet willie?

Anu nothing!

Anyway, as I was saying, ahh... wait I I forgot what I was saying.

Anyway, I'm pleased to be here in Douth Dark to announce the opening of my brand new store!

Anyway, it appears that the man from the future is here to stay.

Apparently it doesn't matter how hard you work.

Apparently the people from the future are having a pretty easy time finding work.

Apparently they were pretty good dancers.

Apparently you haven't heard of my "Vote or Die" campaign.

Approaching planet Omega Nine.

Are those arm and leg locks secure?

Are you all right?

Are you calling me ignorant??

Are you gonna be my new friends?

Are you gonna start running your mouth off again?

Are you having a nice day, Ms. Claridge?

Are you having Mr. Jefferson over for dinner?!

Are you kiddin'?

Are your systems stable? Run a systems check on your CPU.

Aren't I too big to be Blanket?

Aren't we havin' the best time?

Aren't we?

Argh. Jimmy...

Aright, redneck, your rebuttal?

Aright?

Aright. What say you, aging hippie liberal douche

Arrest him fast and try not to beat him.

Arrrh Timmih!

As I got older, I felt that one boy was never enough.

As it was in the times of our forefathers, so it is now.

As long as we know we have the power to change.

As the day your town... became great. The grand opening of the first South Park...

As the weeks become the months become the years.

As the weeks become the months become the years.

Asshole!

At first we needed our parents' permission, but then we told him our parents were dead.

At least another two days.

Attention students, we have tallied your mascot nomination sheets,

Aw Aw AWESOM O is coming.

Aw awwww.

Aw Christ.

Aw dude, crap. All our parents are there.

Aw Goddamnit!

Aw Jeez Jeez Louise! My mom is gonna be awful sore when she sees this mess!

Aw man, now every in town has a weapon! Lame!

Aw well, come on. Let him read us the end.

Aw, aw, no, come on, people, we're so close to completing my final solution!

Aw, come on, Dad! How come I have to go to work with you?

Aw, come on, sir.

Aw, dude.

Aw, it got Kyle and it's tearing his head off!! Aw you guys, it looks like Kyle is done for.

Aw, it's about freaking time, jackass!

Aw, you're just saying that because I broke your cat's leg last week.

Aw. Awww!

AWESOM O does not have a mom.

AWESOM O does not understand.

AWESOM O must dispense oil waste.

AWESOM O must rest! His CPU system overloading.

AWESOM O understands.

AWESOM O will answers the door.

AWESOM O will not make fun of you or tell your secrets to other people and stuff.

AWESOM O, I though you were programmed to do whatever I tell you.

AWESOM O, this is my Aunt Nellie.

AWESOM O, what are you doing? My friends are waiting for their beverages.

AWESOM O!

AWESOM O?

AWESOM O?

AWESOM O?

AWESOM O? Hey, where'd ya go?

AWESOM O?? AWESOM O, what the Sam Heck are you doing?

AWESOM OOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

Awesome.

Aww man, look at them! They know they can't trip to that!

Aww man, this smells like meatloaf. Again?!

Aww man!

Aww yeah!

Aww yeah.

Aww, but why?

Aww, suck up, suck up!

Aww, that's just adorable.

Aww! Ohh! God, I just got so sleepy. I'm sorry, what were we talking about?

Aww. Uuugh. God it burns! AAAH! My soul is on fire! Whoa. Oh, I don't like this!

Awww crap, he's only got twenties! You got two dollars, Kenny??

Awww, go on and do it already!

Awww, you don't need to do that, AWESOM O.

Awww!

AWWWW!!

AWWWW!!

Awwww.

Awwww.

Awwww.

Awwwww.

AWWWWWWWWW!!!

B b bbingo!

B bani banishment?

Back in the pile everyone!

Back in time and is in a government hospital after being hit by a car.

Back off!

Back to you, Aaron.

Be at Bebe's house, tonight, at seven!

Be cool, dude. I, I think maybe he's a burn victim or something.

Be sure to take me to the same hospital!

Be sure to vote for Giant Douche.

Beavery the beaver, and Beary the bear

Because all ethnicities have mixed into one. Perhaps most interesting is how this has affected their language.

Because all the other girls are.

Because Christmas need to be bought in a store.

Because I need to, all right?! I've got something planned that's uh gonna be really sweet.

Because I, maybe I don't have what it takes to win with uhwithout them!

Because if you get served and served them back, then it's on!

Because it seems like every time we frame a rich black guy,

Because of you, nobody knows the extent of my deeds.

Because one copy is nine ninety eight! But this way you save like twenty bucks!

Because the Wall*Mart stops you. Many have tried, kid. Union leaders, nature activists,

Because their parents might find out they had weapons if Professor Chaos told on them.

Because you KNOW that your kids are goin' down when my kids give them this!

Because you're being grounded, Stanley! Now I don't wanna hear another word out of your intolerant mouth!

Because you're taking all the fairness out of the game. But I know now that even if you do win on steroids,

Because, even if Jesus wasn't really the Son of God, he was still a nice guy.

Because.

Before what happens?

Before you die, let me show you the things that I've done, so you will understand the breadth of my transformation!

Behind the school!

Being in a dance group is totally conformist.

Being spoiled and stupid and whorish is supposed to be a bad thing, remember?

Believe me I would love nothin' more than to have you quit the force

Bentonville, Arkansas. That's where Wall*Mart started, that's where all the bigwigs are.

Bewbs!

Big fat p p... p... pussy, and if you take steroids, the only decent thing to do is come forward and say,

Bitch?! Don't call me bitch! I'll pop your fuckin' head open!

Bitch.

Black sonofabitch!

Blanket doesn't need a playmate.

Blanket likes to play, don't you Blanket?

Blanket, I wanna give away all my money.

Blanket, you in here?

Blanket!! Oh my beautiful blanket!

Blanket? Blanket! Come play!

BLEHH!

Blood orgy!!!

Boobs!

Boy, Los Angeles is great, huh AWESOM O?

Boy, that was a GREAT episode!

Boy. You must really wanna take to to those Orange County kids now, huh Stan?

Boys, first of all, I want to tell you how impressed I am with your ability to get more ratings.

Boys, I do not want you going over to Mr. Jefferson's anymore.

Boys, I want to congratulate you on what is perhaps the finest piece of student television I've ever seen.

Boys, I'm afraid I have some bad news. The school has to cancel your show...

Boys, these axes are only four ninety nine.

Boys, you did it! You killed the Wall*Mart!

Boys, you have to let him rest. Some mean kid gave him a Texas Chili Bowl

Boys, you okay out there?

Boys!

Brad?

Brand new television, new plastic dishware and cups,

Breaking news at the time border. We go now live to Harrison Moore.

Breaking news here at the time portal, Aaron. It appears that another person from the future has just arrived!

Buh, Mr. Garrision, if we change our mascot that means the eco terrorists win!

Bull's eye!

But a lot of innocent people are out of jail.

But all you've got to do is start,

But aren't Indians and Redskins just as offensive?

But aren't Indians and Redskins just as offensive?

But competing against other people and getting in their faces saying "Haha! I'm better than you!" is part of life.

But competing against other people and getting in their faces saying "Haha! I'm better than you!" is part of life.

But Dad, I don't know how to dance or nothin'.

But Dad, I just wanna stay in my room

But Dad, we're not supposed to shop at

But does that mean you aren't baptized?

But don't tell anybody we have them.

But first, he has to, like, become a... boxer, or something.

But gee whiz, Stan, if you try to stop us, we'd have to use our evil satanic powers on ya.

But he thought of a plan, and he thought of it fast.

But he's our son!

But his conscience caught up with him and to the forest he did flee.

But how can the **** make it better??

But how do we start a fire?

But I am the serial killer! The one whose rightful place in history you have smirched!

But I don't suppose it really matters much. Because in the end, the way I caught the killer was with.

But I guess I'll have to go with giant douche, simply because the fact that it's a giant renders it useless,

But I know you. Framin' rich black men for crimes they didn't commit is in your blood.

But I think it's the principle of the thing that matters.

But I thought you meant the Son of God!

But I would hope that those students and their parents who question my qualities would simply look at my opponent.

But I... But I... But I can't see nothin'. I gotta go to the hospitalll!!

But I'm falling apart!

But if a woman wants to be one, it's "wrong. "

But it's times like these, when the chips are down, that a ninja shows his true character.

But let's try to speak one at a time.

But making the future better.

But Mo o o

But mom, my teacher will

But my parents told me, "never get into a car with a stranger. "

But nobody wants a Wall*Mart here!

But now that you know where our compound is, you'll either have to live with us, or be murdered

But now the good protector lay dead as the good owls amassed.

But of course, that's only if you really want to trip balls.

But one look at the packaging tells otherwise.

But others are starting to say that the time portal should be closed off.

But out in the forest, not too far away...

But Santa, what do we do about the Antichrist?

But someday you're gonna have to stop running from what happened and start dealing with it.

But Stan, don't you know, it's always between a giant douche and a turd sandwich.

But that isn't the point, Butters!

But that's because he had to work all the time when he was young

But that's when he came up with the best idea of all.

But that's... that's crap! That's not even TV!

But the black bastard was so rich he made bail

But the cold hard truth is that if we let them all come back to our time,

But the idea that we'll be whorish for money is belittling to our gender!

But the worst serving was here in the pelvic region.

But then gasped when he saw a most dreadful sight.

But then it turns out that the girl is actually a...

But there WERE no magical Christmas adventures or talking poo for me!

But these are our girls!

But they live with their mom now.

But they took action: ridded their entire town of cough medicine,

But this is real news!

But uh enough, he says, to feed his family.

But uh.

But we don't want "good," we want pain!

But we got to have a human host body for the Antichrist.

But we got to have a manger.

But we like being the Cows!

But we were finally able to arrest him.

But we're here!

But when a woman does it she's "straaange. "

But when a woman does it, it's "weeeird. "

But when they challenge you,

But why would you want to be one anyway?

But why? Maybe there is no reason.

But why??

But worse. With robots.

But you don't even wanna know the kind of stuff I've done.

But you don't have the talent.

But you got a 22 in the ratings!

But you know well that your ******* blood won't let you.

But you run the Wall*Mart.

But you your face!

But, because this is such an important film that actually depicts the selfless act of Jesus Christ,

But, does that mean you killed the mountain lion?

But, I think it's best we don't talk out loud about it until we have most of them on the trains heading to the camps.

But, Mr. Meryl, we're trying to bring the news to the students. They need to know the facts,

But, we don't know how to give abortions.

But, when a man pees standing up, it's "normal,"

But, who would have programmed it to think it was human?

But, why on earth wouldn't you wanna vote?

But, you should follow what Jesus taught instead of how he got killed.

But, you were, weren't you? Y you went to the nationals in Nebraska.

But... well that was a long time ago. I mean, we were just kids.

Butters hasn't danced since the tragedy.

Butters is our son. He's not for sale.

Butters needs medical attention right now!!

Butters which is funnier? A stupid not funny giant douche or a super funny turd sandwich?

Butters, get away from me!

Butters, Goddamnit.

Butters, listen!! At the vet's office, you need to stay down on all fours and bark a lot.

Butters, listen. There's gonna be a competition this Saturday, and we want you to join our troupe.

Butters, never get into a car with a stranger!

Butters, only gay little dweebs read the funnies!

Butters, play!

Butters, remember when you said you had a video of Eric Cartman dressed like Britney Spears?

Butters, right now!!

Butters, seen any celebrities?

Butters, we have had it with your moping around! You're gonna go outside and you're gonna play,

Butters, what is wrong with you??

Butters, will you mind telling us why you're dressed up like a bear?!

Butters, wouldn't you like to have some time away from AWESOM O?

Butters, you saw! Tell them what happened!

Butters!

Butters!

Butters! Butters, you get back here or you are grounded, mister!

Butters! He got a ninja star stuck in his eye,

Butters! We're trying to help you, Goddamnit! Now, stop being such an asshole!

Butters! Where the hell are you?!

Butters?

Butters? Butters? Come on, sweetie, it's gonna be okay.

Butters? You're dating Paris Hilton?

Butters??

Butters' new friend is a little strange.

Butterscotch candy?

Buy some robot pants? Haha, no!

By eco terrorists for the 47th time, we are going to change our school mascot.

By Eric Cartman

By God, so he is. Black and rich.

By now our parents probably know we were playing with weapons!

Bye, friends.

Bye, sweetie, we love you!

Bye!

C'mon!

Caaartmaaan! Daaaaa!

Call an ambulance.

Call it police intuition, but sonethin' in there just didn't feel right.

Calm down guys, we don't have to go tell our parents. We just need to go out and get some protection.

Calm down, turd! No Juvenile Hall turd is going to kill you. That's my job

Can help us come up with new movie ideas.

Can I help you boys?

Can I help you boys?

Can I help you boys?

Can I help you?

Can I help you?

Can I help you?

Can I help you?

Can I still dance with you guys?

Can Kyle come out and play?

Can you believe those guys paid us a hundred dollars apiece for those movie ideas?

Can you believe we're at a real live movie studio, AWESOM O?

Can you come up with an idea for a movie that will break a hundred million box office?

Can you do it, Stan. Can you build us a manger? Huh?

Can you give me back my time? Huh? Can you do that??

Can you help him, Doctor?

Can you really? Oh would you please? Could you help us?

Can you speak in present day English please?

Can you take my temperature?

Can you teach me your secret fast?

Can you teach me your secret fast?

Captain Cartman reporting from Shuttlecraft Spontaneity.

Cartman thinks he can fly off of his roof.

Cartman, I really, really have a problem with what you're doing I object to it morally, and I find it grossly offensive.

Cartman, just keep your mouth shut.

Cartman, stop it!

Cartman, what did you do?!

Cartman, you have a beautiful voice.

Cartman! I will not stand by and let you cheat your way to winning the Special Olympics!

Cartman? What the hell??

Cause what Cartman doesn't know is that I know one of his secrets!

Check it out, my not hot body!

Check them out!

Checkout line... They had these... little stickers filled with glitter!

Chef, we just got served.

Chef, you haven't seen Butters around, have you?

Chet, you are a fuckin' retard, you know that?! Even if global warming were real,

Chicken sandwich?

Chicken sandwich?

Child wunderkind Eric Cartman is now arriving on the scene.

Children, children!

Children, get back away, now!

Chinese, Turkish and, indeed, all world languages, which sounds something like this:

Choo choo train, it's all fun and games.

Choo choo train! Yay!

Choo choo train.

Chop chop!

Chop wood? No, that's ignorant.

Chris Holt joins us now. Chris?

Chris, is she serious?

Chris, she's more than twice Butters' age!

Christ died for you. Go home.

Christ died for you. Go home.

Christina Naylon has more.

Christmas is saved!

Christmas means so much to us all

Christmas means so much to us all.

Christmas means the world to us all

Christmas time is once a year.

Christmastime is once a year

Christmastime is once a year

Clap my hands. *clap* *clap*

Claridge, but actually, it was our fault.

Claridge's accident!

Close up, with a wide angle lens.

Closed doors at South Park Elementary it also has a street name.

Clyde, are you aware of what Turd Sandwich can bring to our school?

Code 6! Code 6!

Code 7! Bring in the firemen!

Coma... How long?

Coma... My God, for for how long?

Come back with a naked picture of your mom!

Come in?

Come on and take a look, folks. We've got a lot of knives for sale here.

Come on and touch my body!

Come on and touch my titties!

Come on Justin, touch my body!

Come on now, keep it tight!

Come on y'all!

Come on, AWESOM O! We're gonna go a sightseein'!

Come on, AWESOM O! You can put my laundry away!

Come on, Blanket, play with me

Come on, Blanket!

Come on, Blanket! We gotta go before your dad sees us.

Come on, Blanket.

Come on, Blanket. We have to go home and feed the animals.

Come on, Butters. You went through a lot of therapy for this.

Come on, climb the tree, climb the tree!

Come on, critter killer! Your days of slaughtering innocent little animals are over!

Come on, Dad!

Come on, doesn't anybody have any show ideas?

Come on, dude.

Come on, everybody!

Come on, firemen! Put out the fire!

Come on, guys, let's get back to our Big Wheels.

Come on, guys!

Come on, hurry! We've gotta get her to the hospital!

Come on, Kenny, we're going to Malibu!

Come on, Kenny!

Come on, kid, concentrate! What do you see in your mind?

Come on, let's climb the tree!

Come on, let's go to Main Street and support one of those stores.

Come on, Mr. Slave.

Come on, Murph, we've gotta talk to Eric Cartman again!

Come on, my body!

Come on, my dad's probably out in the back yard.

Come on, ninjas!

Come on, people, think! How are we gonna stop these immigrants from takin' our jobs!

Come on, push it! Push it!

Come on, Stan.

Come on, we've got to try to make it to the back!

Come on, Wendy, we'er gonna miss it.

Come on, you guys!

Come on!

Come on!

Come on!

Come on!

Come on! They had nothin'! Let's go y'all!

Come on! We have to tell everybody fast! This is gonna be soo funny!

Come on! You want your jobs back or not?!

Come on. Come on, little fella. Atta boy.

Come, you can live with us.

Comes with video camera, night vision filter,

Congratulations, Eric. You just stopped the biggest killer in South Park history.

Congratulations, Jimmy. But we all know that the Special Olympics isn't just about winning.

Cool, because, there's this competition on Saturday,

Cool.

Cough medicine?

Could be.

Could you please set the table for dinner?

Cows are maimed and slaughtered and used as a commodity!

Cows are on a six and O slide since Kelly's father left for that business trip.

Crab people?

Crab people.

Craig is a genius. Uh sorry, kids.

Craig's new show?

Cuuute

Cuuute. Super cuuute.

Daaaa! Daaaa!

Dad last night and he said that he heard the snow storm is expected on Tuesday.

Dad says I have to keep my face hidden.

Dad says it wants to eat us.

Dad, how come Wall*Mart is able to sell everything so cheap?

Dad, isn't this a little extreme?

Dad, Jesus C Christ!

Dad, oh my God!

Dad, there's a new store at the mall called "Stupid Spoiled Whore"

Dad, we know how to destroy the Wall*Mart.

Dad, what are you doing?!

Dad, you out here??

Dad, you're a geologist!

Dad!

Dad!

Dad! Mom! I'm don I'm done playin' now!

Dad!!

Dad?

Dad?

Daddy took me home.

Damn you all to hell!..

Damn! You just got served!

Damnit, Mitch. How come our movie studio can't come up with any winners?

Damnit, no phone number!

Damnit, we have a journalistic responsibliltiy to bring students the fa.

Damnit, where are we gonna get our fifth member?

Damnit! Another murder victim!

Damnit! Damnit all to hell! They just found another body! That means a fifth copycat killer is on the loose!

Dance troupe? Please.

Dancers to the floor!

Dancing is something you do alone in your room at three in the morning.

Dang!

Darling, Paris is a billionaire. She can give Butters everything he wants.

Darrrr. Durrrr. I wanna be in the Special Olympics.

Dear Christ, they gave it memories, too.

Death and pain await all living things.

Debate 2004]

Democracy is founded on one simple rule!

Destroy the heart and you could reverse the entire process!

Dexa Cough, children's formula.

Did she also tell you my dancing got eight people killed?

Did you dig up 200 million dollar's worth of coal?

Did you just say that... voting is ridiculous?

Did you say "get gay"?

Did!

Didn't ya bring any bags?

Different things.

Do I have to remind you of your position?!

Do it again!

Do it! Do it!

Do not doubt my powers, Kyle!

Do you fuckheads even know how to put out a fire?

Do you know how hard those cops worked to frame him?

Do you know how to start a fire?

Do you know how we can get in touch with him?

Do you know some place we can learn, mister?

Do you really think you can get enough people to turn gay to destroy the future of humanity?

Do you see?

Do you see? This is me at Mount Rushmore

Do you see?!

Do you see?! Here are pictures of my trip to Cheyenne for Frontier Days.

Do you see??

Do you think Kobe's guilty or innocent?

Do you think that's true?

Do you understand?

Do your worst! You STILL won't get your ticket money back! I can take whatever you can dish out!

Doctor, could you remove his face warmer? We'd like to speak with him.

Doctor, didn't you say that kid suffereed head trauma?

Doctor, we have another snuggie here

Does that look like a black guy to you?!

Does this make me human?! Or this?! Or these?!

Does this mean we can go to sleep now?

Does this suit you better? Or perhaps you prefer this form?

Does... Does this mean we're still gonna get cancelled?

Don't be silly, AWESOM O. Robots don't need to drink nothin'.

Don't be so quick to throw off your ninja responsibility, Kyle.

Don't call me fat, you stupid Jew!

Don't do it, Kyle!

Don't forget you have a duty to your country,

Don't leave us, Mommy.

Don't lecture me on the complexities of sportsmanship.

Don't let them intimidate you, Stan. I'll help walk you to the booth.

Don't listen to 'em, Cartman! I'm sure it'll work. Go for it. Yaaay Cartman! Fly fly fly!

Don't make me do it, Kyle! I can make your head explode with a single thoght!

Don't tell me that! I heard about the things you've done!

Don't think you're any better than me, Timmy I'm just living in the real world!

Don't worry, boys. The Antichrist cannot survive without a human host body to go into.

Don't worry, Kyle. Craig's not gonna tell on us. Come, ninjas, let's go.

Don't worry, Trent.

Don't worry, we'll free you.

Don't you know anything??

Don't you like my hot body?

Don't you see what we've done? In our efforts to compete with Craig's small minded show,

Don't you see, children?

Don't you see? Wall*Mart isn't our enemy, it's our neighborhood friend.

Don't you think you should get out of the street?

Don't you wanna take that veil off so you can eat?

Double Stuff Oreos...

Dr. Shafley?

Draw the um You guys draw the nipples like on the bottom of my asscheecks.

Dream on, Jew boy!

Drink his blood! Drink his blood!

Driver, put Mr. Biggles in the car. I want to find a bear costume for him.

Drrrrrrey drrrrrrrey.

Dude, are these all your toys?

Dude, are we gonna be like that someday?

Dude, are you still pretending to be a robot?

Dude, bail?

Dude, can we please just have the eighteen dollars back from you?

Dude, check it out! Time Cop on DVD. Three copies for eighteen bucks!

Dude, come on!

Dude, come on. We're not supposed to go over there.

Dude, he must be loaded! What does he do?

Dude, he's incredible.

Dude, hold on! This is bullcrap! If they wanna live in our time, then they should learn our language!

Dude, I can't deal with Wall*Mart right now. My parents had me there for three hours last night.

Dude, I really don't care.

Dude, I really don't think it's smart, Cartman.

Dude, I really don't think that's a good idea!

Dude, I think we can do a little better than crab people.

Dude, I was just looking at the Special Olympics brochure, and check this shit out:

Dude, I'm not going to lose to Cartman's stupid turd sandwich.

Dude, I'm takin' a break.

Dude, just let him come. The bus is about to leave.

Dude, let's play Fireman.

Dude, look who I found prowling around in my back yard.

Dude, look!

Dude, my car sucks. I gotta get a new one.

Dude, our town is going to be better without the

Dude, so my vote didn't even really matter!

Dude, Stan, you all right?

Dude, that is a sweet RC car.

Dude, these little remote controlled cars are kickass.

Dude, they don't care we knocked Butters' eye out with weapons?

Dude, this guy is freakin' daffy!

Dude, this TV show is awesome.

Dude, wait wait ho, hold on. Wait a second.

Dude, we are in so much trouble!

Dude, we gotta show our parents what Wall*Mart is doing to our town.

Dude, we have got to get that kid away from him!

Dude, we have to get rid of our weapons so at least we can try to deny everything.

Dude, we have to go!

Dude, we shouldn't be here!

Dude, we're like the coolest kids in the whole state!

Dude, weak!

Dude, what happened to your knee?

Dude, what happened?

Dude, what is the matter with you?

Dude, what the?

Dude, what's wrong with him?

Dude, whatever. At least you finally get to do something.

Dude, when he gets out he's gonna be really mad!

Dude, when he gets out of Juvenile Hall, he's gonna wanna kill us!

Dude, why do you care?!

Dude, you can't shop for crap.

Dude! I've been freaked out this whole time because of THAT guy's movie?

Dude! We should each buy a weapon, and then we'll be like ninjas.

Dude!!

Dude.

Dude. I can't believe they exploit handicapped people like this.

Dude. That movie sucked.

Due to this week's tragic events in Hawaii the "Lemmiwinks"

Due to this week's tragic events in Hawaii the "Lemmiwinks"

Duh.

DVD of Harry Potter 2,

Ech! You see, guys? This is why **** can't be ninjas! They've got no spine!

Eh ... Elementary.

Eh, I remember when we could afford to buy six steaks when we shopped at Wall*Mart.

Eh, oh yeah?! Well, well you guys are assholes!

Ehehehehe

Eight hundred of which feature Adam Sandler.

Eight people died!

Encore!

Encore!

Enough!

Enough! Uh I grow weary of your foolishness. Professor Chaos cannot be stopped!

Enter!

Episode 8x02 AWESOM O

Episode 8x05|You Got F****d In The A**

Episode 8x07 The Jeffersons

Episode of South Park will not be shown tonight

Eric Cartman.

Eric has been having some emotional problems lately.

Eric, it looks as though the school will be serving a chicken cutlet

Eric, sources are speculating that third grade student, Pete Thelman,

Eric, sweetie, there's a bunch of people showing up in our backyard saying something about a meeting?

Eric, sweetie, there's um, some people here to see you.

Eric, the outfits are even skimpier than before, leaving very little to the imagination.

Escuse me!

Escuse me?!

Especially if she's in love with our son!

Eugh...

Even him making out with the Justin Timberlake cutout!

Even in the girls' bathroom!

Even the best fair trade lawyers tried to stop the Wall*Mart and now?

Even though you have kind of a big nose,

Ever since I was a little boy I seemed to enjoy...

Ever since I was a little boy I seemed to enjoy...

Every animal big or small

Every animal big or small

Every animal big or small,

Every Christmas the mountain lion comes down and eats the virgin critter impregnated with the Son of our Lord.

Every creature holds it dear

Every critter holds it dear

Every critter holds it dear.

Every student is supposed to check the box next to the mascot they like the most.

Every time I put a killer behind bars, another guy just steps in and takes his place!

Every Wall*Mart has a heart, somewhere near the television department.

Everybody adores that girl, darling. We should be nice to her too,

Everybody's so fucking lame.

Everyone get your shoes on, we're goin' to Wall*Mart!

Everyone in the country's gonna see that movie.

Everyone say it with me?

Everyone who believes in America, join in with us! We're gonna make these future bastards nonexistent!

Everyone, can I have your attention, please?

Everything that you had when you were first brought in here will now be returned

Ew, potty mouth!

EWWW!

Exactly!

Excellent! Dr. Cornwallis is wise beyond his year Here's your PETA shirt and a bumper sticker.

Except for a mountain lion

Except for you, my little Tinkerbell.

Excuse me, I didn't catch that.

Excuse me, sir? I think I know who did this. We saw this guy at the last crime scene,

Excuse me, what are you doing here?!

Excuse me! Hello! Can somebody tell my why we're going to Jim's Drugs to buy Voltar cards when Wall*Mart has them for three bucks cheaper?

Expulsion??

Fellas, are you sure all of this ie eh ethical?

Fellas, this is our chance! Everyone get your hair looking as fantastic as possible.

Fellas! Don't you see? This proves my point. We have to elevate our ideas up,

Fellas! Fellas, I got fant tastic news! The vice President, Dick Cheney, was in Denver yesterday,

Fellow fans of Mel Gibson, our numbers have grown and now, together, we have the power to change the world!

Finally the critters are gonna have a Savior of their very own, of their very own!

Fine Mom.

Fine, Kyle! But if something goes wrong out there on the planet surface, don't hold me responsible.

Fine, Kyle! You asked for it! Hee at!

Fine! If nobody here is man enough to torture me, then just give me my eighteen dollars!

Fine.

Fine. Kill that son of a bitch!

Firve years I've been waitin' for this day.

Fit for a king!

Five years. It's been five long miserable years.

Focusing on how he got killed is what people did in the Dark Ages and it ends up with really bad results.

Folks, I just wanna interrupt for a second

Folks, it looks like the OC crew is dead.

Follow me, Mr. Glughgogawk. I'll show you to the copy room.

Fools! I am Professor Chaos! Bringer of Destruction and Doom!

Fools. Ignorant fools.

For eight thousand dollars?

For framing wealthy African Americans with crimes they didn't commit?

For God's sake, why Mr. M m Meryl?

For one stop shopping where bulk purchases could keep prices incredibly low.

For real and for true?

For the brutal way in which he was killed, and take our share of the responsibility for it.

For the critters to be saved, someone had to stop that nasty old cat...

For the world to be saved there was only one shot.

For them there would certainly be no Christmas Day,

For three years the Left Hand killer has been at large and I've exhausted every lead!

For too long they've had to live a double standard.

For trying to exterminate the **** two weeks ago.

For us to do the most incredible investigative news report of our journalistic lives!

For winning the Spirit Award, Eric will receive this gift certificate to Shakey's for fifty dollars! Come on up, Eric!

Four seconds!

Four students watch your show. And meanwhile, Craig's show is getting a 57!

Four.

Foxy the fox, and Deery the deer

Frakes?

Framing people for crimes they didn't commit!

Freedom!!!

Freeze, Jefferson! The gig is up!

Fried chicken. It's tender and it's fresh.

From from me?

From now on you can have whatever you want from this store,

From school and request that you have your testicles removed surgically.

From the n n , from the nn , from the nn

From the nice guy at the county fair

From this day forward I will dedicate my life to making sure your film is seen by everyone.

From who? We can't ask adults for help and there's nobody tougher than sixth graders.

Fuck off, Whistlin' Willy. We're not in the mood.

Fuck you Annie,

Fuck you Bebe,

Fuck you Millie,

Fuck you whatever your name is,

Gaaah! NO! NO, what have you done??

Gaaahh! Don't look! Don't look at its bargains!

Gah, I just don't get it.

Gather around my table, cute little lions,

Gaur da'ka?

Gee whiz, if it isn't the nicest manger I ever saw.

Gee whiz, Santa, you're not gonna kill me, are you

Gee whiz, there sure is a lot of 'em.

Gee whiz, Timmy. It looks like we have some ppppretty stiff competition this year.

Gee whiz. We sure worked hard on that new show.

Gee, he looks sad.

Gee, I don't know what to say, fellas. They're both instant classics.

Gee, th they're both screamingly funny, fellas Uhhhbetter give it another ten seconds.

Gee, what a concidence.

Geez, and all that from a stupid video show.

Gentlemen, Ladies, we all know that we live in a time of uncertainty.

Gentlemen, this little boy was kind enough to let us show you his robot.

Gentlemen, we're going to Los Angeles!

Gerald, what are you doing?! We said we weren't going to shop at the Wall*Mart anymore!

Get a cold towel on that pink belly!

Get back in the shuttlecraft!

Get down to Metzger's Field! It's about to happen!

Get him!

Get in the limo, Mr. Biggles! We're gonna have a bear costume made for you!

Get offa him, you filthy human!

Get out of my room, Stan!

Get out there and get some stories!

Get out there and start digging!

Get out there and vote or I will mother kill you.

Get out! It's gonna blow!

Get the Antichrist out of my friend Kyle's ass!

Get to it!

Get up to your room, Blanket, and put your mask on!

Get, get out!

Get, get outta here, PETA! We're changin' the mascot already!

Gettin' served!

Gheglo.

Giant Douche is your man!

Giant Douche sucks!

Giant douche.

Girls, what on earth are you doing?

Give 'em hell, son.

Give 'em hell.

Give a little squeeze and say, "How do you do?"

Give him time, Wendy. Give him time.

Give it up for Lil Kim!

Give me back my money!

Give me my eighteen dollars!

Give me that!

Give me that! Fucking Christ I need a drink!

Give the poor kid some morphine.

Give us another movie idea, AWESOM O!

Go ahead and scramble it, then he won't remember it was us.

Go ahead. Prove Mel Gibson wrong, Kyle.

Go giant douche!

Go on, get outta here.

Go on, get, get outta here!

Go on, Kyle.

Go play with yourself, Craig.

Go! Hurry! I'm gonna go buy these screwdrivers!

God damn you!

God damnit!

God damnit!

God damnit!

God damnit!!

God damnit!!

God I hope this works.

God, get me out of this hick town!

God, I wish we had a Pizza Hut in South Park!

God, this is gonna be hard to say.

God? Please, if you get me out of this, I swear, I will never play with weapons ever again.

God.

Goddamn that took a long time.

Goddamn, Mel Gibson must be loaded.

Goddamn, that guy's crazy.

Goddamn, that's like the twelfth time that's worked.

Goddamnit Cartman, stope throwin' those stupid popping things at me!

Goddamnit Cartman!

Goddamnit Cartman!

Goddamnit Cartman!

Goddamnit PETAns piss me off! We're never gonna end up with a stupid eagle or a faggy bobcat as a mascot.

Goddamnit you guys, Butters is our friend! And he's allowed to have his opinion!

Goddamnit, get me down from here!

Goddamnit, I have to find that videotape!

Goddamnit, lazy ass whore.

Goddamnit, stop! I'm real! I'm real!

Gonna fit that in between cheerleader pie eating and Who's got Skidmark Monday.

Goo that they have on their bodies when they arrive is an ectoplasmic side effect of the time travel process.

Goo, goodbye Stanny!

Good bye, Stan. May the gods treat you more kindly than we did.

Good evening, sir. We're Park County detectives.

Good idea!

Good Job.

Good luck.

Good Times With Weapons

Good, because you assholes have kept me up for three hours!

Good!

Good. I don't want that robot mobile until I know what it's capable of.

Good. Now watch that timing, drill team!

Goodbye, Stan.

Goodbye, Stanny! Bye! Cya! I'll buy your hat!

Goodnight, sweetie.

Goth kids dance to express pain and suffering.

Great job, everyone.

Great, AWESOM O, great. Uh guys, take a break. I need a minute alone with AWESOM O.

Greetings. I am the AWESOM O 4000.

Grow up!

Grrr. Grrr! Come on out!

Grrrr!

Guess again.

Guess. A train.

Guys, meeting over here for a second?

Guys, this is my dad,

Guys, we did it!

Guys, we're we're really not playing, okay?

Guys?

H he's not... quite as eloquent as I had pictured.

H help! You've gotta hide me!

Ha! So you DO intend to torture me, huh?!

HA! You just got f'd in the a!

HA! You lose, fatass!

Ha! You owe me five bucks, Kyle!

Ha! You see?!

Ha. Wha hat a douche.

Haaa!

Haaa!

HAAAAA!

HAAAAA! Go go RUUN!

HAAAAAAAH!

Hah ha ha ha ha ha We're gonna do a neeew show

Hah!

Hah! Hey!

Haha, very funny, kid. Sit down and stop playing games.

HAHA! HAAA!!

Haha! In your face, Craig!

Haha. You fools have no idea that I wuold never let you hurt the Wall*Mart.

Hahaa, a turd sandwich!

Hahaa, right! What are you gonna do with money, AWESOM O?

HAHAHAA!! Now I shall rule the

Hahahahahaaahaaa!

Hail Mel Gibson. Amen.

Hail Satan.

Hail Satan.

Hang on a second here!

Hang on, Blanket!

Hang on, I'm I'm, coming.

Hang on! I'm getting you out of here, robot!

Hard to get our pay up to a level where we could make a decent living.

Harris was right. This guy looks like he has more money than all of us put together.

Harrison, why haven't you called? You know how I worry.

Harrison?

Has he come to deliver a cure for cancer?

Have a seat, children. Just try to relax and breathe.

Have fun, girls. And remember to party, and be super lame to everybody.

Have I been a good boy, Mr. Gibson?!

Have mercih!

Have really been through a lot. Is there any special present you would like this year?

Have to interrupt you there, Christina. Apparently, Brad Morgan is inside the base with breaking news.

Have you been up my... Wishing Tree? Tuh!

Haw, it's real easy. I'll show you.

He also received two Indian sunburns on his forearms,

He and Butters are really getting along great.

He arrived at the critter forest ready to fight,

He can do anything I command him to. He's real smart.

He can't do crap!

He did it! Now our critter Christmas can finally happen! Hail Satan!

He does not!

He got served. Worst I've ever seen.

He is a turd sandwich.

He is MY friend, got it?!

He is working for the Wall*Mart to stup us from succeeding!

He just showed up here.

He knew in his heart the thing he had to do!

He knew that only by going to the forest could he

He likes to dress up like Britney Spears and pretend he's her!

He needs a father, and a normal life. Chickuckoo gainuh.

He put up a hell of a fight, but we got him!

He ran out the living room, turned out the light,

He received a massive snuggie,

He said he wanted piece and quiet,

He said I can stay.

He said I'm his best friend,

He said, not now, Craig!

He seems to have a lot of money.

He should be. He's here playing that game every single day after school.

He was gonna kill me because he was insanely jealous of my incredible psychic ability.

He was my ten gigahertz old pal.

He was out all alone in the middle of the night.

He was practicing the say takedown and slipped on the floor.

He was trying to express, through cinema,

He would stand around and just babble on and on about nothing until he was finally saved by the buzzer sound.

He wouldn't give us our money back for The Passion, so we kinda took it.

He, he really takes playing Robot seriously.

He... He's taking the top of one and...

He... He's taking the top of one and...

He's a cyberwired bundle of joy. My robot friend.

He's awake!

He's back out on the streets in no time. It's just like OJ.

He's black.

He's come to kill us now

He's going to vote!!

He's going to vote. He's going to vote.

He's gonna come for us, you guys. We are dead men.

He's gonna give us all Texas chili bowls.

He's gonna tear us apart!

He's got it! That's a new Special Olympics record, folks!

He's killing now... Oh! I'm seeing it all flash before my eyes! The guy's name is Michael Deets,

He's kookoo, dude. He's absolutely out of his mind.

He's made in Japan!

He's messin' with us!

He's metal and small and doesn't judge me at all.

He's my best friend in the whole world!

He's nine.

He's not gonna do it.

He's really old and and goin blind.

He's retired now.

He's smart as can be and emotion free.

He's supposed to be some kind of psychic.

Heck, I c I can't believe it.

Hee hee!

Heehee!

Heh sir?

Heh wait a minute, did, did that robot just fart?

Heh it's typical for conservatives rednecks like these to view the immigrants as the problem,

Heh yeah, but the point is this guy didn't really look black either.

Heh, but really,

Heh, huh okay, that's pretty funny. Now, what's the second?

Heh, it's only about a thousand times better, am I right guys?

Heh, no wonder that boy thought he was a killer.

Heh, pretty amazing coincidence that guy had a bunch of hands on his wall.

Heh.

Heh. Wow, that sucks.

Hehe. You stupid fools have no idea that I'm actually working for the Wall*Mart to stup you from succeeding!

Heheh great! Yeah! Great idea.

Heheh, it's absolutely astounding

Heheh, they're all so jealous!

Heheh.

Hel lo ma'am. We're going around town and offering snow shoveling service.

Hello boys, ready to do some whistlin'?

Hello there.

Hello, are you folks holding this Passion meeting?

Hello, boys. Congratulations on getting this far.

Hello, Clyde.

Hello, everyone! The Guess Clothing Company is pleased to have as its new spokesperson model,

Hello, Mrs. Landis. Would you like snow shoveling service again today?

Hello, Mrs. M marsh. Can I help g... Can I help you get a sh shopping cart today?

Hello, Ms. Claridge.

Hello, this is Sergeant Yeats over at the Park County Police Department in Colorado.

Hello, young man, could we have a quick word with you?

Hello! It's nice to have you here.

Hello?

Hello? Anybody eh.

Hello? Anybody in there?

Hello.

Hello.

Hello.

Hello. Um, I would like to... sign my son up, please.

Help me change?

Help???

Her name is...

Here I am at the Alamo in San Antonio.

Here I am, Blanket!

Here is Colorado state champion,

Here it is! Uh, squiggly line, circle.

Here to present the award are baseball legends Mark McGuire, Jason Giambi, and Barry Bonds.

Here we go, everyone.

Here you go, pup. I've got a sweet dose of murder for you.

Here, everything's okay. I want you each to have a hundred dollars.

Here, hold this!

Here, Stanley, I made your favorite potato dish. I want you to feel better, okay.

Here! Take the keys and go on!

Here. It's a little turtle.

Hey Bebe!

Hey Blanket.

Hey dude, you've gotta speed up.

Hey everybody, it's time!

Hey everybody!

Hey everyone. Sorry if I'm a little spent.

Hey fellas, you'd better be careful.

Hey fellas.

Hey gang, I brought the new episode of wide angle close up animals.

Hey gaybots, what's goin' on?

Hey guys, great news!

Hey guys, what's going on? Drrrrrt.

Hey guys, you know what we should do? We should go get a

Hey guys. Uh. You guys know how to dance, right?

Hey Harris Harris Harris! Harris!

Hey he sure is! We do everything together. Why last night we even had a slumber party.

Hey I heard about this guy in Cuomo who has a duck that can dance.

Hey Jessie, hey Kal. Do you guys mind if I hang out with you?

Hey Jimmy, g good luck on Saturday.

Hey Jimmy.

Hey Kevin, party at my house.

Hey kid, you're pretty good. How would you like to join our dance troupe?

Hey kid. Good for you for being honest.

Hey look, Craig just walked in.

Hey look, it's Craig!

Hey look!

Hey Nellie, guess what I found scrampin' around the airport.

Hey now, these immigrants have a right to retain their culture. Who are we to say our language is best?

Hey Sergeant, take a look at this.

Hey that's right! If there is no future, then there'll be no people from the future to come back and take our jobs!

Hey there have you heard about my robot friend?

Hey there, did you know I had a robot friend?

Hey wait wait WAIT wait!

Hey wha b but we gave it our best.

Hey yeah! Well I can tell you anything, huh?

Hey yeah. Well that's not a bad idea!

Hey you guys, you know what we should do?

Hey you guys! You guys! You gotta come with us over to the Jeffersons!

Hey, a round of root beers for everyone! On me!

Hey, AWESOM O, who's gonna win the Superbowl next year?

Hey, check it out, dude.

Hey, check it out:

Hey, come on! We've gotta get out!

Hey, Craig, over here!

Hey, don't take that tone with me, kid! I'll kick your ass!

Hey, fuck off, Kyle.

Hey, fuck you, Kyle!

Hey, get out of here, you fuckin' dork!

Hey, hey look, hey look. I got your nose.

Hey, hold on a second!

Hey, hold on a second!

Hey, I got an idea. Uh maybe we should all take off all our clothes,

Hey, I gotta put in my suppository. Can you help me?

Hey, I know! Let's make a videotape of us having sex with boys!

Hey, I know! We should read the funnies!

Hey, is it true?? Trent Boyett is getting out??

Hey, Kenny's right. We should put out a i>real fire. Then we'll be heroes!

Hey, look everyone! It's our old pal, Stanny.

Hey, look over there, AWESOM O.

Hey, look!

Hey, look. What is Ms. Claridge doing?

Hey, Mr. Nelson.

Hey, Mr. Nelson.

Hey, Mr. Robot,

Hey, robots don't fart!

Hey, South Park! Do you have school spirit?

Hey, South Park! Have we got school spirit??

Hey, Stan, whatcha doin'?

Hey, Stanley, you need to understand something: Those people from the future have had a hard life!

Hey, there's that queer kid.

Hey, uh, does anyone know who that guy is?!

Hey, wait a minute, I think we just got squirreled.

Hey, wait a minute.

Hey, we didn't start the fire, Trent Boyett did.

Hey, we should get that kid that was state champion in tap dancing.

Hey, we shouldn't be upset this Christmas. We've got Stanny!

Hey, we want our money back.

Hey, we'd better start invitng boys to the party.

Hey, what are you doin' with him?!

Hey, what's that over there?

Hey, who are those kids?

Hey, yeah. Uhwhy I could say I saw celebrities even though I didn't, a a and then lie about what I saw them doing.

Hey, you know Kobe Bryant was up in Eagle today.

Hey, you wanna play with me?

Hey, you want me to teach you some bedtime songs?

Hey!

Hey! Don't boss me around, you fuckin' Jew! I will kick your ass!

Hey! Hey!

Hey! Isn't there where Stark's Pond used to be? Where we used to kayak and fish?

Hey! Just what the hell do you think you're doing, Eric?!

Hey! Let's run naked through the street!

Hey! So what do you wanna do now, AWESOM O?

Hey! That's not true, Stan.

Hey! What about this guy?!

Hey. Do you live here?

Hey. He's right. If we build for a better future, the immigrants will stay there.

Hey. Hey, what's goin' on??

Hey...

Hi guys, welcome to Raisins. Three of you?

Hi guys!

Hi guys!

Hi Jimmy.

Hi sings and dances around with a life sized cutout of Justin Timberlake.

Hi Stan.

Hi there!

Hi, it's Chef.

Hi, Ms. Claridge. Uh, we have s someting to tell you.

Hi, Stanny!

Hi, sweetie.

Hi, uh, my friend and I just went to see The Passion.

Hi, uh, my name is Randy Marsh. I'm I'm Stan Marsh's father.

High up in the forest on a dark, craggy peak,

His condition is stable, and speculation continues as to why he has come.

His dancing was so fast I... couldn't do anything.

His friends were all there! What a wonderful surprise!

His moves were... so original, so inventive.

His name is Eric Cartman, and he always tries to play jokes on me and stuff.

His new... powers?

His powers are uncanny. Take good care of him, Ms. Cartman. Make sure he uses his powers for good.

His underwear pulled up so high it nearly killed him.

Hm, okay. Let's see

Hm. No, we never had a any rich African Americans named Jefferson here.

Ho man, did you see the look on Craig's face?! That was awesome!

Hohhh, it's all think and g gooey.

Hokay, there.

Hold it right there, killer!

Hold on a second, clamhead!

Hold on a second: If that robot is designed for entertainment,

Hold on a second.

Hold on a second. Where's Butters?

Hold on you guys. I actually have another power.

Hold on, I'm givin' my speech! On this historic day, we remember the Wright Brothers: Orville and Redenbacher,

Hold steady, Santa.

Hollywood blockbusters have their lunch. Neato, huh?

Holy God, his son isn't black either! Oh Jesus!

Hon, will you just tell these girls that being a whore isn't such a great thing.

Honey, babe, be mine.

Honey, I didn't work to become a whore, I was born a whore.

Honey, I didn't work to become a whore, I was born a whore.

Hoochie, wombat juice,tigger yum yum. Hello, I'm Rick Cartman.

Hooray! All right!

How about fifteen dollars?

How about ten dollars?

How about this one? Calminex?

How about we cause more global warming, so that in the future,

How about we do a show where we kill Butters?

How about we do a show with us... ughhh

How about we have us, um... hmmm.

How about we revamp the name? Super School News sounds dry.

How am I suppsoed to explain that to her?!

How can a robot come up with better ideas for movies than us?

How can they even call that a movie?

How come the outline is missing its hand?

How come you're all alone on Christmas Eve.

How come?

How dare you call me crazy! This means war!

How delightful!

How did you do it, Kyle?

How do we know which one to use?

How do you know?!

How do you know?! I've seen The Passion thirty four times now, Kyle!

How do you know?? Are you psychic??

How do you know?? You you haven't s seen it yet!

How do you like our Christmas tree?

How do you like that, gooback?!

How I Will Spend My

How many students is that?

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

How much would this cost me?

How much you wuv me?

How much?

How much? For Butters?

How should South Park Elementaryenforce its laws of conduct for young athletes during sporting events.

How the hell are condoms gonna help us?!

How the hell is global warming gonna cause an ice age?!

How was he, Bab?

How was school today, Stanley?

How was your flight?

How would you like to sing and dance with us for a while?

How? How could the **** do that to Jesus?

How... How did this happen?

Howdy Aunt Nellie!

However, we feel your solution of

Huff. Oh man.

Huh look dude, we're in the fourth grade, okay?

Huh nice attempt, ninja! But now both of you shall feel the power of my Web of Holding!

Huh, wait a minute! I don't even want ONE copy of Time Cop!

Huh! Timmih! T Timmih!

Huh! Where else are we gonna get a new glass at this hour?!

Huh?

Huh?

Huh?

Huh?

Huh?

Huh?

Huh?

Huh? Oh, I dunno. It's around here somewhere.

Huh. Didn't I... Whoa, that's the darnedest thing I ever saw.

Huh. I don't have any ideas yet.

Huh... that's right, Aaron. Hi his plan is to get a job here, in our time,

Huh... Timmih...

Huhey fellas. What's happenin'?

Huhh oh well, that's it for me, Timmy. I'm p p... p pooped. I'll see you in the locker room.

Hullo. Oh, uh hi Dad.

Hundreds of men who have lost their jobs to time immigrants are here having sex with one another.

Hurry onward Paris Hilton or you will soon be dead.

Hwuh?!

Hyeah, "they're not that cool. " These are real authentic weapons from the Far East.

Hyeah. I guess parents don't give a crap about violence if there's sex things to worry about.

I I gotta... mine some coal...

I ain't turnin' queer.

I already brought it, bitch! I brought it, set it down on the table and opened it, bitch!

I always get good ideas from the funnies.

I am Bulrog and I have lots and lots of powers.

I am not Craig, I am Ginza, with the powerful blade of the kitana. Iya!

I am NOT going to have a titty twister! I hate titty twisters!

I AM NOT, Kyle!

I am picking up carbon based life forms in Sector C.

I am sick of you belittling my opinion, you son of a bitch!

I AM taking it personally because Cartman is a retard!

I am the AWESOM O 4000.

I am... Wall*Mart.

I appreciate your business, boys, but you'll have to try somewhere else in town.

I asked my

I believe in Mr. Jefferson.

I believe we will find a village of peaceful aliens over that ridge.

I bet you can't wait to outdance those OC bastards!

I brought the fire and brimstone back to Christianity with The Passion and now I'm gonna start my own church!

I came because I wanted to make sure nobody was shopping here.

I came here to put a stop to all this!

I came here to talk about you!

I came to ask you one more time to join the crew. Everyone is practicing really hard, but...

I can all the bargains to myself!

I can see into the future too, but better than Kyle. Let me try it.

I can take whichever form I like.

I can't believe these bargains.

I can't compete with Wall*Mart's low prices. Everyone is shopping there now,

I can't hear you! Lalalalalala!

I can't lose this extracurricular credit. I need it to pass fourth grade!

I can't make it, boys! You're gonna have to go on without me!

I can't refund your money. You sat through the whole movie.

I can't wait to get out of here! Grody!

I can't. I was banished for not voting.

I collected some fingerprints and did a blood sample analysis.

I could only imagine the rage building inside you, Stan.

I could watch this for days.

I couldn't resist! Do you want one?

I deduce it is.

I deduce it shall serve as a perfectly suitable resting place, for the Son of our Lord.

I deduce the man boy doesn't understand the seriousness of the fertilization.

I did a whole lot of partying last night with a LOT of different guys.

I did not! I wanna close Wall*Mart just as much as you guys do!

I didn't come here to talk about The Passion, Cartman!

I didn't get to fight a huge mechanized Barbra Streisand like you did!

I didn't know it would feel so... dark and evil!

I didn't know you had a girlfriend, Jim.

I didn't know, I... I didn't know.

I didn't say that! I love Wall*Mart! With all its... fantastic bargains and one stop shopping,

I didn't say that! I love Wall*Mart! With all its... fantastic bargains and one stop shopping,

I do love animals, just ... nnot like you guys do.

I don't believe anyone interrupted YOU when you read your Christmas story aloud,

I don't believe it.

I don't care! You sound like a little bitch to me!

I don't care! You're not making me wait in the van again!

I don't even know if what we're doing is right.

I don't even know you dude!

I don't get it. What does she do?

I don't have a mom.

I don't know if the parents are to blame or if it's the times we're living in, but something has to change!

I don't know if you can stay. We'll have to ask Dr. Cornwallis. Come.

I don't know what kind of kid would do this to other people;

I don't know, I just knew it.

I don't know, I, I'm supposed to show these mountain lions how an abortion is performed or something,

I don't know, son. That sounds awfully strange.

I don't know, that looks pretty high up.

I don't know. How do we know this kid is really psychic? I mean, this boy is certainly no Eric Cartman.

I don't think he took the costume off the entire trip.

I don't think Mr. Jefferson pays enough attention to his son to notice.

I don't think we have any kind of shot without you.

I don't think you can actually

I don't wanna have to use my psychic mind missile on you!

I don't wanna have to use my psychic mind missile on you!

I don't want you feeling like you have to do that competition now to avenge me.

I dressed up like a handicapped person and lost the Special Olympics on purpose,

I fell down.

I felt them just like???

I flashed all these hicks with my boobs; you should've seen the look on their faces!

I gave that up.

I get it, but you don't have a choice, is that it?!

I get to take the picture behind the bushes after you.

I got three nice steaks from South Park Grocery. We'll have to share them.

I got your nose.

I gots business to take care of.

I guess I didn't realize I was a waste of time.

I guess I'm just tired. I'm jast damn tired.

I guess now you're gonna start torturing me! Well!

I guess that means our Savior is gonna be made into Savior stew.

I guess we can drop all those charges.

I guess we'll just take all of 'em

I guess...

I guess... I guess you're right.

I guess... we have to ge see it too.

I hate this family, I hate it!

I have a half brother and a half sister.

I have been sent from Japan to serve as your personal robot.

I have the power to have all the powers I want.

I have to find this new killer now! I owe it to that victim over there!

I have to look young again!

I have to use that money to build my church!

I haven't decided yet.

I heard people saying you all were from Illinois.

I heard that!

I heard you were having a party tonight.

I hope they're not Austrians. That's the last thing this town needs.

I I can't sleep at night. I mean, my... friend can't sleep at night.

I I think it's wrong to call them goobacks because they're no different from us.

I I wanna get a normal job and...

I I'm sorry, Jim.

I just can't stand to hear him scream like that. I'm gonna go upstairs.

I just got "the Stupid Spoiled Whore video playset"!

I just id identify so much with children.

I just love seeing smug celebrities get their comeuppance.

I just need to uh make Butters think I'm a robot for a little while longer.

I just think this whole thing is stupid!

I just want a chance to change.

I knew we could do it!

I knew you were!

I know it's ridiculous

I know she hadn't been in any recent episodes, but DAMNIT she deserved better than this!

I know that I often have serious moral objections to the things that you do, but...

I know that with the opening of the South Park branch of Wall*Mart,

I know you live in California; I'll pay for your plane ticket!

I know you've done some partying in your private little rich life,

I know, darling, but look...

I know, I KNOW! GOD!!

I know. He's here. What??

I learned that I'd better get used to having to pick between a douche

I let those people down! Don't you get it man?!

I like it when you vote, bitch! (bitch!)

I like to brush my teeth in the morning and at night.

I like to dip and daddle with my robot friend.

I live with my mom in South Park, Colorado!

I made it to thank them for babysitting you last week.

I mean making them compete against each other just for our amusement.

I mean, I didn't mean to help them, I I tried to stop them!

I mean, maybe if we all commit right now to working toward a better future,

I mean, sure, if a man wants to be a whore, it's "normal,"

I mean, we're smart, right? We're really smart.

I need some more of that cream and the injections!

I need the modeling glue. We need more fur over here.

I need three minutes alone with the picture behind the bushes.

I need to get wasted. I haven't had a drink in like fourteen minutes.

I only know that I wouldn't ever want to be on that kid's bad side.

I read the brochure, Cartman! If you're under eighteen,

I really like your town.

I remember when we all made an oath to each other, way back when started playing news reporter,

I said I'll give you 200 million dollars for it!

I said I'm coming! Give me a Goddamned s second!

I said quiet, you little brat, or I'll have you arrested for interfering with the law!

I said shut up, or I will destroy you, tur r rd!

I said vote, bitch, or I'll f kill you!

I said, shut your mouth, bitch! Why did you make me do it, huh?!

I saw moving vans in their driveway two days ago.

I see you like cutting the eyes out of photos of women. My son is a big fan of that too.

I see... a man... with a baseball cap.

I see... ice cream, and sprinkles, and Quadruple Stuffs!

I should k kick your ass right here, you lousy no good ch ch ch... cheater!

I slam my jimmy through your mouth roof (mouth roof)

I still say this is a bad idea.

I swore to never fight again.

I think he's definitely going to jail.

I think he's spent about six thousand dollars on it so far.

I think his name was... Leopold... Stotch or something?

I think I know why Craig's show gets such great ratings! Half the school is high on cough medicine!

I think I really got a shot at the gold in the swimming competition. Coach says I'm the fastest he's ever seen.

I think I see the television department in the back!

I think I'd make a really good ninja.

I think if more people saw The Passion they'd have faith in Jesus.

I think it's best we try to reason with it.

I think it's empowering for them.

I think it's so great that someone took the initiative to have a meeting like this.

I think maybe he's f feeling it.

I think maybe one day we can all

I think that God is in the face of every child

I think that's good.

I think us Cows have the best school spirit. Huh, Mandy?

I think voting is great. I just didn't care this time because it was between a giant douche and a turd sandwich.

I think we should all go out and take at least one other person to see The Passion.

I think we should...

I think you're awesome too, Cartman.

I think young women are being marketed to by corrupt, moral less corporations.

I think, Mom, that I've been hard on some of the handicapped kids at school in the past.

I think. I dunno, Rome or Tokyo, either way it'll be totally boring

I thoght I was supposed to make my own decision.

I thought having lots of rides and toys was enough, but...

I thought I was supposed to!

I thought so. All right, that's it, Trent. You're going to Juvenile Hall for a long time!

I thought you told me your parents were dead.

I thought you were just an asshole when you ripped on ****, but...

I told you it was a wardrobe malfunction!

I told you, Bulrog has lots and lots of powers. Behold.

I took them to see how abortions are done.

I understand you have somethin' important you wanna talk to me about, m'kay?

I wanna do him.

I wanna see what you kids can do!

I want a Goddamned cheeseburger and some Goddamned fries you fucking goobacks!

I want him humiliated and dragged through the dirt, and I want it done by the books!

I want it!

I WANT IT! WANT IT!!!

I want that robot!

I want that! I want that!

I want to thank you for all the blessings you have brought me.

I want you to come up with an even better idea than the cough medicine story.

I wanted my job!

I was at a rally to protest all the immigrants from the future coming in and tryin' tuh

I was friends with him before you assholes were, and I hoowi

I was given my gift from a tragic accident. I didn't need to go to Psychic Detective School.

I was hoping we would study for the spelling test tomorrow.

I was just wondering... are you by chance a... pleasure model?

I was over at the new neighbors, the Jeffersons.

I was put on the horse. I didn't wanna ride it.

I was working for Wall*Mart all along" or something.

I will organize the masses so that we may do thy bidding.

I will rip your balls off with my bare hands!

I wonder... oo oo.. w why?

I work with a lot of fine men who have families to feed.

I would like some Sunny Delight too.

I would like to see what he looks like

I wouldn't if I were you.

I wrote down... all the lyrics to the Happy Days theme song.

I, I can't do it.... I can't do it. I...

I, I can't sell to anyone under eighteen without parents' permission.

I, I don't know. He seems all right.

I...

I... hope that teaches you a lesson about being hurt.

I... I know, it'd ridiculous.

I... the... critters. Their... bir birth of a Savior?

I'd also like some celery sticks chopped up two inches long,

I'd expect this stupidity out of Cartman, but you, Stan??

I'd like to be your boyfriend and all,

I'd like to gargle his marbles.

I'd like to swivel his pixie stick

I'll get the tonfas. Those are so sweet.

I'll give you 200 million dollars for it.

I'll help make you the stupidest, most spoiled whore of them all!

I'll just leave that blank for now.

I'll leave you two alone.

I'll let you in to see it.

I'll live with you.

I'll make less money, sure, but... as long as I buy everything at Wall Mart,

I'll make some cocoa.

I'll make some cocoa.

I'll pull down my pants... and just slide it up in my anus there.

I'll show ya how we start it off.

I'll show you Goddamned retards!

I'll teach you to do abortions without even tryin'!

I'll tell you what you're doing!

I'll uh, I I'll see you later, Tim Tim.

I'll use my special power to see into the future and find out where we should head next.

I'll write you a check for Mr. Biggles right now.

I'm a bad bear.

I'm a little boy forever. Hey!

I'm a lost soul. A dark lonely shadow of a person

I'm a psychic and you are worse. I have super awesome powers. You don't.

I'm a stupid spoiled whore.

I'm a very bad old bear.

I'm a Vulcan!

I'm afraid I have to give back my medal. The truth is, I haven't been playing fair either.

I'm afraid I wouldn't know how. Unfortunately for this little fella, I'm a people doctor.

I'm afraid it's worse than that, boys. I'm gonna have to give you all F's in Extracurricular AV Class.

I'm afraid not, Kyle! Wall*Mart is a great store! I could not let you fools ruin its terrific bargains!

I'm afraid that my powers... are not for sale.... And by that I mean they absolutely are for sale.

I'm afraid that your son is... incredibly stupid. He thought he could fly with cardboard wings.

I'm afraid the house is a little bit of a disaster area since I have

I'm afraid we just can't sell you our son for 200 million dollars.

I'm buuurniiing!

I'm feeling kind of bowling ballish, fellas.

I'm givin' up, Maggie. I'm quitting the force.

I'm going to go sign up now.

I'm gonna call your parents and let them know you're okay.

I'm gonna dress you up like a bunny, and then I'm gonna dress you up like a little princess.

I'm gonna feed you, and take care of you, and call you Mr. Biggles!

I'm gonna get those killer sai. Look Kenny!

I'm gonna give you something you didn't give me: a five second head start.

I'm gonna go to Rome for the weekend,

I'm gonna jump the wall of fire.

I'm gonna send this money to needy kids in third world countries.

I'm gonna.

I'm hangin' out in LA with my robot friend

I'm just trying to k keep up.

I'm keeping my son home on Saturday. I just came by to let you know so you can...

I'm not a heathen! I was baptized and my family's Christian!

I'm not a robot, dumbass! I'm alive.

I'm not a robot, I'm a human!

I'm not arguing about The Passion! He's being an asshole!

I'm not c c comin' out.

I'm not doin' it either. I'm the biggest nonconformist of all.

I'm not gonna vote and you can all just live with it!

I'm not playing games. Mel Gibson is right behind you and he's gonna

I'm not reprogramming a robot that's developed consciousness!

I'm not special? I thoght you always said I was special.

I'm not sure. I'm gonna have to run some tests.

I'm not voting!

I'm not voting!

I'm now allowed to give you your money back after you sat through the whole movie!

I'm planting the cocaine now.

I'm pretending to be calling my friends on the cellphone while my man waits for more sex!

I'm pretty sure he's your man.

I'm so glad you came into my life, AWESOM O. You're the best friend a guy could have.

I'm sorry I've been so chauvinistic, Wendy.

I'm sorry kids, it's just that...

I'm sorry, boys. but if you want to hurt the Wall*Mart, you'll have to go through me!

I'm sorry, but it's too late, Kyle! Santa's gonna have to kill you!

I'm sorry, detectives, there was nothing we could do.

I'm sorry, kids, you'll have to go.

I'm sorry, kids. Y y you should be proud of what you've done. It's just that it's kind of gay.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. Please, I don't wanna be the vessel for the Antichrist.

I'm still not totally sure.

I'm such a nonconformist that I'm not going to conform with the rest of you.

I'm supposed to go right back over there after dinner tonight!

I'm sure a lot of people do, hon. It's pretty exciting, isn't it? Now, you just get some sleep.

I'm sure. It won't be hurting you anymore.

I'm takin' it to the bushes first!

I'm takin' it to the bushes first!

I'm taking down the manger I built.

I'm taking them to the bushes first!

I'm taking them to the bushes!

I'm talking about hiring somebody bigger than Trent to protect us from him.

I'm the negotiator. I negotiate our price with the customers.

I'm the real whore, and I'm telling you, it isn't great.

I'm training really hard, but I'm not improvingfast enough, and the Special Olympics are a... week away.

I'm trying to make this all right again, but the only thing that can stop devil worshiping critters is a mountain lion!

I'm trying to order a double cheeseburger!

I'm voting.

I'm... not quite sure how we... start this competition off, but uh

I'm... sssorry, Randy. It's just, with all the budget cuts and all, we'll give you some time to clean out your desk.

I'm... totally passing out.

I'ma I'ma, I'm just gonna head down to the Wall*Mart real quick.

I've already seen what he can do.

I've been lookin' for you!

I've been one... ever since I can remember.

I've been using st steroids I was willing to do anything to be the best,

I've got something in my front pocket for you

I've got to sell the store and try to find another line of work.

I've gotta get outta here. This place is stupid.

I've learned my lesson! Please, I don't wanna

I've seen every kind of sick, depraved act known to humanity and still,

I've sometimes looked at people with disabilities as people God put here on earth for my amusement, but...

I've taken this form in order to talk to you. But I can take many forms.

I've... heard cases where people suffering head trauma awaken to some psychic abilities.

Ice cream. Covered with... chocolate sprinkles...

If Butters tells on us, we're gonna tell on you, and that's the ninja code!

If I knew where Mel Gibson was, I'd be down on the floor licking his balls at this very moment, sir.

If I'm happy and I know it, clap my hands. *clap* *clap* If I'm happy and I know it,

If only we had let him in!

If our government is just gonna let anybody into our time who wants to come,

If somebody just pretended to be mentally handicapped they could easily win the competition and get the thousand bucks!

If we as a people choose not to believe that Jesus is the Son of God, then we can still apologize

If we had, we would have framed him ourselves.

If we take him to the hospital, they're gonna find out what happened.

If you ask him the same question, he would not answer it.

If you can raise the 250 million dollars yourself, you can stay.

If you leave me now, you'll take away the biggest part of me.

If you wanna be in the OR, a pass is required!

If you wanna kill it, you'll have to go through me!

If you want a pizza, you've gotta whistle.

If you want your share of the money, then you're gonna shovel snow like the rest of us!

If you're just joining us, a man from over two thousand years into

If you're not scared of The Passion then go see it. Go see it and tell me I'm wrong.

Ih ih Is that the only song he'll dance to?

Ih it's not on.

Ih, it was my fault that Stanley served your boys the other day.

Imagination is the key. Mr. Jefferson, your son can't get up.

In 1956, Germany officially apologized for World War II AND the Holocaust.

In 1973, the United States officially issued an apology to the African American community for slavery.

In a flash it was over! A victorious blow!

In charge? I guess that would be Harvey Brown. He's the current president of Wall*Mart.

In court?

In here!

In our last episode the four ninjas did battle with Professor Chaos, bringer of destruction and doom.

In the game until Kelly Anderson crying because she missed her daddy,

In the gentle forest clearing on Christmas Eve morn,

In Timmy, Timmih Tim oh! Tim Timmih!

Inappropriate? No, you're being ignorant.

Incredible, absolutely amazing news today. A man from the future has come

Instead of sitting here feeling sorry for ourselves,

Instead, we present the all new and slightly better episode, AWESOM O.

Interlaced BV system.

Is it gone?

Is it over?

Is somebody in there? I'll tell on you!

Is South Park about to explode from a methane gas leak? More on that later. But first,

Is that really how you deal with your problems?! Grow up, Kyle!

Is that the right way, Dad? Dad??

It also appears like he received a noogie, and, a Polish bike ride.

It appears he was also given a swirly, a colossal one.

It has a bronze finish and actual gold leaf along the base.

It has been foretold unto me that I would give birth on Christmas Day.

It has reaffirmed all of our faith in Christ.

It has the dexatrimfan in it that causes hallucinations in large doses.

It hurts my head.

It hurts! It hurts!

It involves Tabasco sauce, a telephone, and the anus.

It is currently being used by Catamount Pictures to develop ideas for movies.

It is fried chicken!

IT IS NOT!!!

It isn't on. Nothing's on.

It just makes me sick how some people can treat animals.

It looks as if the job at Wendy's did work for the original immigrant;

It must be true. The kid is psychic.

It said on the final sheet!

It says right here on the final sheet he is!

It says right there "a parent has to be with you to sign up,"

It seems that lewdness and shallowness are being exalted,

It should be Sexy News.

It was an outrage!

It was during that great battle that ninja master Kenny threw his star into Professor Chaos' eye.

It was during this battle that Professor Chaos escaped,

It was long. We had a three hour delay ... departin' Denver,

It was MY idea and we're gonna tell everyone to write in "Giant Douche!" It's way funnier!

It was ridiculous. We have to have a new school mascot

It was uh... Kelly Pinkerton Tinfurter.

It was very wrong for me to lie about the other psychics and get them arrested.

It wasn't my idea to burn the Wall*Mart down.

It won't be easy, but nothing worth having ever is.

It won't work, don't you understand?! It isn't gonna stop until there's nothing but Wall*Mart left!

It works, doesn't it? Did I not just get us an extra five bucks?

It would take millions of years for a climate shift to happen!

It would've been faster if Cartman hadn't slashed the tires!

It... powered itself back on

It'd have to be a good picture, too!

It'll all be over soon, robot!

It'll all even out.

It'll be so much easier havin' you do it from now on.

It'll have to be 250 million, cash, up front.

It's 1:30 in the morning!

It's a deal! All right, guys, let's get to work!

It's a little suppository I have to... put up my rectom.

It's a mirror.

It's a perfect idea to have us organize so we can strengthen the Christian community.

It's adorable!

It's affecting kids too! Me and my friends started our own snow shoveling business.

It's all

It's all right, it's all right boys. Don't cry, I'll... I'll just... go pack these up for you, okay?

It's all right, Kyle. We'll go back to the fair and return them.

It's all right. My friend Chef is gonna coach us.

It's almost midnight.

It's almost time when the time is here,

It's almost time when the time is here,

It's beautiful!

It's been arranged: you two are both going to Los Angeles to visit Butters' Aunt Nellie!

It's been two days. Nurse, you can remove his face warmer now.

It's Billy! Uh, Billy will wave for me! Wave for me, Billy!

It's boring news, Jimmy.

It's called "working" young man!

It's Critter Christmas, dude! It sucks ass!

It's dead.

It's democracy in action! Put your freedom to the test.

It's developed consciousness.

It's flawless! I'll act like I have a disability, and when the time come to compete I'll kick ass against all the handicappeds!

It's good to see Butters finally have a friend that wants to stay over.

It's great that everyone came here to figure out how to use The Passion to enrich everyone's lives.

It's hopeless, dude! Butters must have made it to the hospital.

It's ignorant.

It's ignorant. You're being ignorant!

It's Jefferson! He's back!

It's like some mystical evil force.

It's like we're a real town now.

It's made one of our little ******* boys want to apologize for the death of Jesus!

It's my mask. My daddy says it's best for me to hide my face.

It's my mom's taser. I took it from her purse.

It's not gonna work; just come down from there.

It's not just Paris: Britney Spears, Christina Aguilera, Tara Reid...

It's not up to you. You'll have to talk with Dr. Cornwallis.

It's not?

It's not?

It's okay, Blanket. Here, look.

It's okay, Kyle. It's okay.

It's okay. I died inside when Mommy was killed anyways.

It's on! It's on! It's on! It's on!

It's on.

It's once a year, it's Christmastime

It's once a year, it's Christmastime!

It's once a year, it's Christmastime!

It's only three days until Christmas, so I have LOTS of abortions to perform!

It's our eighteen dollars! Your movie sucked!

It's pretty close, but it looks like Giant Douche is gonna win.

It's sexist is what it is!

It's simple economics, son. I don't understand it at all, but, God I love it.

It's the best choice, and me and Butters are sticking with it.

It's the nicest star I ever saw.

It's the report you can't afford to miss!

It's the white boys that were served yesterday.

It's time

It's time for us all to say goodnight

It's time for what?

It's time!

It's time. Oh, it's time? It's happening. It's happening now? Let's go!

It's true.

It's what the students want, and it's cheaper to make than your show.

It's what's in right now. I, I can't have my little girl be the only one not in a trend;

It's where I come to think and dream.

It's Woodland Critter Christmas.

It's Woodland Critter Christmas.

It's... 's the greatest show of all time.

It's... nice.

Itius, Rodicus!

Janice, we shall die together in each other's arms!

Jason has a huge bulge. You're gonna get it, boys.

Jeechabee durtah! Hee!

Jeekabee durtah! Ow! There, Blanket, shhhh.

Jeez, those guys never let me play with them. Uh they just shun me all the time.

Jejabee durtah!

Jesus Christ Monkeyballs!

Jesus Christ Monkeyballs!

Jesus Christ Monkeyballs! It must be the same guy!

Jesus Christ, Dad. Dad??

Jesus Christ, dude!

Jesus Christ, I've never seen so many Indian sunburns and titty twisters in my life!

Jesus Christ!

Jesus Christ!

Jesus Christ! Cause of death?

Jesus Christ.

Jesus H... That boy was right! Arrest that guy!

Jesus is Lord!!!

Jesus, Harris. What are we becoming? We're supposed to...

Jesus, how did he...?

Jesus, oh how I love ya, how I love ya Jesus!

Jesus, the scientist was right.

Jesus, what did we do?? WHAT DID WE DO??

Jesus, where do they keep coming from??

Jesus, you may be right.

Jesus! Look at us! We all don't like the Wall*Mart, but we can't stop coming here.

Jesus. I guess maybe you'll never understand how important voting is.

**** can't be firemen.

Jezuth Christh!

Jezuth Christh.

Jezuth Christh.

Jezuth.

Jezuth.

Ji Jimmy?

Jim, first of all I would like to thank you for monitoring this debate.

Jim, it's your father!

Jimmh Timmih Timmih Jimmih!

Jimmih Timmih Timmih? Timmih, Timmih Jimmih... Jimmih! Jimmih! Timmih!

Jimmih!

Jimmy and Eric, it looks like a massive snow storm is headed South Park's way.

Jimmy, everyone's worried about you. You seem... different.

Jimmy, I thought we were meeting at the doughnut shop.

Jimmy, oh my God!

Jimmy, we're gonna have everyone write in a mascot that's really funny,

Jimmy, were you masturbating?

Jimmy.

Johnson, what about you?

Juden!

Jump in!

Just back off, man!

Just because he hit his head and went into a coma doesn't mean he's a Wait,

Just keep the door locked, honey. Butters can't be a house hermit his whole life.

Just know, AWESOM O, that I did it because I love you.

Just look at the Marsh family, huh?

Just one person and a video camera.

Just play along, okay?

Just run with it, dude.

Just sit still for a moment.

Just stay still, Butters.

Just stop it!

Just stop it! That's enough! You aren't reading another sentence of your stupid story!

Just tell us this: do you trust that we want what's best for you, yes or no?

Just try to calm down and sit tight.

Just... say that first part again?

Kay*Mart, Target, but I am one single entity: Desire!

Kelly Pinkerton Tinfurter?

Kelly Rutherford Menskin?!

Kelly Rutherford Menskin.

Kelly who?

Kenny, we have got to make Stan understand the importance of voting, because he'll definitely vote for our guy.

Kenny, what the hell are you doing with this asshole??

Kenny, what's funnier? A giant douche or a turd sandwich?

Kentucky, yeh.

Kid, we have a problem. You didn't go through the proper channels to become a psychic detective like we all did.

Kid, what the hell do you think you're doin'?

Kidding! I'm just pulling your legs. Come on over to the register.

Kids don't care about the news, boys. It's boring. Kids wanna see animals,

Kids, kids!

Kill him!

Kill him! Die!

Kill Jesus! Yesss!

Kill me! Kill meee!!

Kill me...

Killing the mountain lion was no easy task,

Kinda wanna make you change your life, huh?

Kindergarten, first grade, second? Can you give me that??

Kumbaya, my Lord, Kumbaya.

Kumbaya, my Lord, Kumbaya. Kumbaya, my Lord...

Kyle

Kyle Broflovski now joins us for a look at sports. And Kyle, the girls' basketball team just can't get it right.

Kyle, aren't you taking this a little too far? I mean, do we really want a giant douche to be our school mascot?

Kyle, Goddamnit, will you just do ? Who's at the door, AWESOM O?

Kyle, how many times do we have to go through this?

Kyle, Kenny! I have to talk to you right now!

Kyle, what on earth has gotten into you?!

Kyle?

Kyle?

Ladies and Gentlemen,

Ladies and Gentlemen, our day of competition has come to an end,

Lame!

LAME!

Lame.

Lame...

Leave it to a child to show us all the way, huh?

Leave it to them to find a fun way to do the dishes.

Leave me ALONE!!

Leopold "Butters" Stotch!

Leopold Stotch...? Wait a minute. You mean...

Let everyone see your coo oo ooch!

Let me finish. If you had seen The Passion you would know that Hell is reserved for the ****,

Let me out of here!

Let me show you what I mean.

Let your opinion be heard! You gotta make a choice

Let's bring it to these losers.

Let's bring out our mascot and get this pep rally going!

Let's burn it down!

Let's eat his flesh!

Let's face it. The mountain lion will never let our Savior be born.

Let's get out the vote! Let's make our voices heard!

Let's go over to that part of town that all the future people moved into

Let's go people! We've got another rich black guy.

Let's go!

Let's go! All right! Woohoo!

Let's go! Move, move!

Let's go! Yeah!

Let's ride and ride on the train together

Let's ride the train! The train!

Let's say it's all made up,

Let's say the police department does just go around spending their time

Let's see how you like dealing with me, ninjas!

Let's tackle him!

Lie about celebrities.

Like not stupid and not spoiled.

Listen up, everybody! We've just received a reply from our congressman

Listen, doucher! Our parents are gonna kill us, and you, if they found out that we bought these!

Little boy...

Little Wendy from class wants to see you.

Llttle boy, you should be ashamed!

Loo loo loo, I've got some apples.

Loo loo loo, you've got some too.

Look at his Iwittle puff ball!

Look at how cuuute.

Look at it, honey. It's so big.

Look at me, I'm Peter Pan. T shamon!

Look at that, AWESOM O! I drew a picture of us playing in a field together.

Look at that, dude. The Passion has made almost 400 milliion dollars at the box office now.

Look at that.

Look everybody! I'm a normal little boy.

Look girls, I've partied a lot. Okay? And I'm telling you, there's more to life.

Look it's really none of your b... b b... beeswax, Timmy!

Look out!!

Look out!! It's a giant four headed lava frog!!

Look you, you don't have to be so cold. I'm just trying to help.

Look, Butters, accidents happen. We all have to live with that.

Look, dude, we came a long way. We're not leaving until you give us our money.

Look, fellas, I've got a real problem with the direction our news show is going!

Look, here comes Kevin.

Look, I'm sorry I killed your mom. The, the squirrel told me she was evil.

Look, if you're having some kind of problem, you have to be able to talk to people.

Look, it may not seem important now, but your vote really does count, and we all have to do our part.

Look, it's my body and it's my choice what I put in it!

Look, it's working!

Look, just take your punishment! You deserve it! Let me have my retribution and it can be over with

Look, kid, don't waste my time with your blood sampling fingerprinty hocus pocus!

Look, kid, we just thought it was a bad movie, so tell us how to get in touch with Mel Gibson so we can get our money back!

Look, m maybe he's forgiven us. I mean, we were only in preschool

Look, nobody likes having to rise to a challenge.

Look, retards! My name is Eric Cartman!

Look, that was a long time ago. Maybe Trent Boyett has forgotten all about it.

Look, Token, I, I know the guys are having trouble bringing this up with you,

Look, Trent, I know I know you're awful sore about. .. pre muh pr preschool and all,

Look, you guys, if Craig can do it, we can do it! Come on!

Look! Look at the things I've done! Here I am at Yellowstone National Park!

Look! Lookit, I got your nose. I got your nose, Blanket. See?

Look! What is that?

Look... wait, what are you doing?

Looking for work. Now, uh he has said

Looks like a new family has just moved into South Park.

Looks like they ain't even gonna dance.

Looks like we have a sworn enemy, you guys.

Looks like we're gonna have to go to Arkansas. Come on, guys.

Lose who?

Lu lu lu, I've got some apples, Lu lu lu, you've got some too.

Lu lu lu, let's make some applesauce, take off our clothes and lu lu lu!

M.

M'kay, that's one more vote for Turd Sandwich.

Ma'am, do you have a rag and some bandages?

Make your way to the small intestine.

Makes for a lot better movies!

Making a place for the critter babe to lay its sweet head

Man boy, why? Why did you kill our mommy? Why?

Man boy, why? Why did you kill our mommy? Why?

Man, I would have loved to seen to seen the look on Trent Boyett's face when all the sixth graders showed up!

Man, it is about to get crazy up in here.

Man, you are all in for a treat!

Martial arts weapons from the Far East.

May I see the video?

Maybe he put that videotape in here somewhere.

Maybe his powers have left him.

Maybe I can't tell the difference anymore. Maybe it doesn't matter.

Maybe I'll invite Mr. Jefferson too.

Maybe the answer isn't trying to stop the future from happening,

Maybe the problem is we don't have very good stories to report on.

Maybe there's just a big blue ball out there that's mostly covered

Maybe we as a society need to realize that artificial intelligence

Maybe we need to make students think they have to watch our news show or they'll die.

Maybe you didn't hear so good in there, Kyle! Second degree titty twister!

Maybe... I just don't have what it takes to be a cop anymore.

Me and Blanket are scared.

Me neither. Oh honey, let's be good Christians from now on!

Me too.

Me. I'm asking the question.

Mel Gibson bio, Mel Gibson news, Mel Gibson... home page. Here we go.

Mel Gibson is a very spiritual man.

Mel Gibson is chasing after us. You've gotta go faster.

Mel Gibson is fucking crazy dude! Wait! There's his wallet!

Mel Gibson was right, Kyle.

Mel Gibson, Kyle. Mel Gibson.

Mel Gibson's The Passion Fan Club.

Mel! Gibson!

Mememe! I'm first! I'm first!

Memememememememememe...

Mhm'kay, right, you're Timmy. ... You, you have a problem?

Michael Ja Jefferson!

Michael... Jefferson, yeh.

Misterrr...

Mitch, are you thinkin' what I'm thinkin'?

Mmm, I'd like a piece of that!

Mmm, Justin, yeah!

Mmm, one more time, Kyle.

Mmm, talk to me, kosher boy.

Mmmmm'kaaay. I don't quite follow, Timmy.

Molestation, nice.

Mom, a I just don't think there's much of a difference between a douche and a turd. I d I don't care.

Mom, can we go try to see the people from the future? I have a bunch of questions I wanna ask 'em.

Mom, Dad, I I love you. Please don't sell me to Paris Hilton.

Mom, Dad, when people die, do they always crap their

Mom, Dad, you gotta open the door right now! You've gotta open it

Mom, Dad, you gotta open the door!

Mom, Dad! Did you see? They found a man from the future!

Mom, Dad? Why are you shopping here?

Mom, Dad... I'm growing concerned about the role models young women have in today's society.

Mom, there's some homeless guy here. Make him go away.

Mom! Answer the door!

Mom! Doorbell!

Mommy and Daddy have to talk.

Mommy, I think I have a fever.

Mommy?

Mommy? Mommy!

Moooommmmm?

Moooooooo!

More people need to make use of my phenomenal gifts, huh? Ahhh, it's so very tiring.

More snow for South P... p p Park. Here's Token Black with the weather.

Movie idea number two thousand three hundred and five:

Mr

Mr. Biggles, come back!

Mr. Biggles!

Mr. Biggles!

Mr. Garrison, could you do something, please?

Mr. Garrison! Chef! Jimbo!

Mr. Gibson, I have assembled the masses! We are ready to do thy bidding!

Mr. Jefferson Awww!

Mr. Jefferson is the best thing that's happened to this town in a long time,

Mr. Jefferson isn't even home.

Mr. Jefferson just seems like he wants to be a kid, not have one.

Mr. Jefferson said we can invite all the kids in town to go play over at their house.

Mr. Jefferson, hello??

Mr. Jefferson, I have to go to school tomorrow!

Mr. Jefferson, I wish I could be around you all the time. You're awesome.

Mr. Jefferson, ih it might be good for Blanket to learn how to chop wood

Mr. Jefferson, this is highly inappropriate!

Mr. Jefferson!

Mr. Jefferson?

Mr. Jefferson? I came to sleep over tonight, remember?

Mr. Jefferson? It's your best friend in the whole wide world, Eric Cartman.

Mr. Jefferson?!

Mr. Johansen, could we have a quick word with you?

Mr. Scientist!!

Mr. Slave has no idea what he's in for.

Mr. Slave,

Mr. Slave, you're the most perverted, lewd, depraved slut I know.

Mr. Slave, you're the most perverted, lewd, depraved slut I know.

Mr.! Goddamnit. Here, come on. We need to clean that up.

Mrs. Marsh?

Mrs. Polk, you're buying this stuff for your daughter?!

Ms. Claridge, did Trent Boyett do this to you.

Ms. Claridge, the people in town are really worried about you.

Ms. Claridge, you all right?

Ms. Claridge?

Ms. Hilton, we've talked it over all night and...

Ms. Hilton? Uh, Ms. Hilton.

Ms. Paris Hilton.

Much cough medicine because they say it makes them see things in their heads

Multiple arrests were made today for the murder of Hillary Neals. Police raided the South Park Motel 6 at 4 a. m.,

Multiple stab wounds, just like all the others

Murphy, do you remember what I was supposed to be doing?

Murphy, you inside?

Must be a malfunction of its exographical IMS or the...

My Blanket! Let's play, Blanket!

My dad wanted to move somewhere to get away from it all.

My daddy wanted to have a baby, so he put me in a test tube.

My friends can't do it because they suck ass, so, will you be in my dance troupe?

My friends, I think we have ourselves a dance troupe.

My God. Look at all these incedible bargains.

My mon is gonna break my legs!

My name is Eric Cartman and I'm the President of the Mel Gibson Fan Club.

My name's Blanket.

My name's Butters.

My ninja sense is telling me we might be heading in the wrong direction.

My nose came off again!

My parents are out of town, so it's a Stupid Spoiled Whore party.

MY PETS

My robot friend.

My robot friend.

My robot friend.

My robot friend.

My robot... friend.

My Son will have the nicest bed in all the forest.

My... family doesn't celebrate Christmas.

N no reason!

N, Timmy.

Naaaa!

Naaaa! Daaaaa!

Nah, I ate on the plane.

Nah, I'm not supposed to.

Nah, that sounds really dull.

Naw, that's crap, Sharon!

Naw! You've gotta listen to me!

Naw.

Nearly every election since the beginning of time has been between some douche and some turd.

Need help across the street, Ms. Claridge?

Never mind, we're going back to the pile!

Next thing you know you,

Next time you think about calling them goobacks,

Ni I can' I can't!

Nice old Mr. Johansen runs a candy shop! He wasn't a killer and you know it!

Nice, Butters, write that down!

Nice.

Night, Mom.

Ninja positions!

Nn no, Dad.

Nno, I'm afraid it's worse than that. By county law I'm bound to enforce the harshest punishment possible.

Nnothing, just, playing.

No accidental trips to Afghanistan for Trent Boyett!

No asshole! From now on you only get to have ONE power! So what is it?!

No doubt that if I were a little older, I would be aroused.

No dude, we can't go around showing our weapons to people. Our parents'll find out we have them.

No I'm not! Goddamnit Cartman, you're not gonna kill me off again!

No it doesn't.

No matter what the Wall*Mart does to try to stop us,

No Mr. Biggles, no money!

No no no! Let's freeze it!

No no, he'll dance to anything. See?

No no, he's fine. They're all fine.

No no, you've got it all wrong.

No nonono.

No point in putting another poor black man in jail.

No Santa, don't!

No Timmy, Jimmy.

No tornadoes, Eric, but interestingly enough, there is a low pressure storm moving in over the Park County Valley.

No way!

No way! He did not! Aw dude, that is so weak.

No way! Only Satan, Prince of Darkness and King of all Evil would do that!

No way! You wanna go with us so you can betray us at some point and keep us from destroying the Wall*Mart.

No way.

No way.

No way.

No you didn't.

No you didn't.

No you didn't.

No you didn't.

No you didn't.

No you're not!

No, a double cheeseburger and fries!

No, Blanket, shhhh. Stop crying.

No, Blanket, stop!

No, but don't you see? We didn't think it was great before. I think I understand now.

No, but YOU got everyone all worked up! You're jealous of the Wall*Mart.

No, Butters. We are a very select elite fighting team sent to protect the world from evil,

No, can't say that I have. Hey, what are you children doin' with those weapons?

No, dad! We need your keys!

No, don't you see? Cartman never had psychic visions. And neither do these people.

No, Dr. Nelson, I'm telling you, you have to fly out here right now!

No, dude, don't!

No, dude, if you wanna be Christian, that's cool,

No, he didn't!

No, he didn't!!

No, he didn't.

No, he's not smart! He's just an asshole.

No, I need help becoming a dirty whore like you.

No, I need help.

No, I think voting is great, but, if I have to choose between a douche and a turd, I just don't see the point.

No, I want to have the Antichrist inside me!

No, I'm just... really really tired. I... was shopping at Wall*Mart all night.

No, it all worked out, right? The world was saved and I went home for Christmas dinner.

No, it clearly had bipedal movement,

No, it's not a chicken sandwich!

No, Jimmy, the school is already dumb. We're just giving them what they want.

No, Justacious, let him go. He won't survive a fortnight in the wilderness.

No, Kenny. Kenny! Knock it off.

No, my parents are.

No, no, we've just gotta find better help.

No, no, you... you wrote down Turd Sandwich.

No, please! I'm sorry I gave other people credit for your killings

No, stop Stan! You don't know what you're doin'!

No, the nipples are more in the middle, see?

No, theh, they're ignorant. That's ignorant.

No, this is all my dad's stuff. He loves toys and video games.

No, those are fine. PETA doesn't care about people.

No, Trent, I I ain't gonna run. We can talk this through.

No, you're not doing it either! We just need to find something that looks like boobs to take a picture of.

NO!

No!

No! All we have to do is not shop at Wall*Mart anymore! If you want it to go away,

No! God!

No! I am sick and tired of people harassing Mr. Jefferson!

No! Jesus, not again!

No! Look, Goddamnit! Now I can show you stupid assholes who I really am!

No! Mr. Jefferson, you need to take your son home.

No! No, you don't wanna kill me. Please, I'll give you anything you want!

No! Nooo! Noooooooooooooooo!

No! They did it!

No! What you want is Calminex PM.

No!! I'm not doing you anymore favors and I'm not letting you give birth to the Antichrist!

No!! No, please! Don't kill him! He's my best friend!

No.

No.

No.

No.

No. Actually, we're guests as well. I'm Jack Garrett and this is my wife Elise.

No. Banishment.

No. I was made in a laboratory.

No. I'm *******.

No. No no nono no no, no!

No. Nothing.

Nobody can beat a Cow! Let's gooo, South Park!

Nobody has any ideas?

Nobody knows that beneath this sweet eight year old little boy lies the most evil,

Noho! Noho! Noooooo!

None of it makes sense anymore.

None of you losers are enough for me!

Nono, scratch that.

Nono, wait. You have the soul, but you don't have the heart.

Nonono wait, I'm not Blanket!

Nonono, no, we want our money back

Nonono! Don't become an angry mob! The last time we did that we killed Jesus!

Nononono, you gotta go

Nonsense! Mel Gibson is a smart and spiritual man!

Noo... But I used to have a lot of bodyguards and nannies, if that counts.

Nooo! Come on!

Nope, this isn't our man.

Nope. Wendy, I think they're right.

Normal lives!

Not another word of that kind of talk, Harrison Yeats.

Not bad, kids. Not bad.

Not bad? South Park doesn't stand a chance!

NOT COOL! TOTALLY LAME!

Not down

Not go to Mr. Jefferson's anymore?

Not interested in this??

Not now! The nurse is gonna walk in any minute with my lunch.

Not only did you get all the students and myself off of couch medicine,

Not only that, the auction was televised on public access,

Not so loud! It can hear you.

Not us. We're good kids.

Nothin' wrong, sir. Eh nothin' at all.

Now all we have to do is put the Antichrist into our human host.

Now AWESOM O, that is a bad robot!

Now children, it's not that bad. There's plenty of great new mascots on the sheet to chose from.

Now come on, there's gotta be one other talneted person in South Park.

Now cubs, do like they showed you. Hurry up fast!

Now don't be down, y'all. Maybe our new friend can help us find a star.

Now don't be down, y'all. Stanny can help us find non baptized heathen human.

Now get your big ass in the pollin' booth.

Now go, Paris Hilton. Make haste!

Now here's what I'm talking about.

Now I believe we should take to the streets and march in unwavering support of this important movie!

Now I don't know about you all, but we worked long and

Now I'm gonna have to give ya a spankin', AWESOM O, so that you'll learn better!

Now I'm starting to think... that if I could just spend one day in their shoes,

Now it's five years later. And Trent Boyett is being released.

Now Kyle, don't fly too close to the sun, or it'll burn your wings, an and you'll crash into the ocean.

Now let's all sleep and dream Heehee!

Now look, the last person you want to be like is Paris Hilton!

Now remember, Butters, when you get to the vet's office you need to stay down on all fours and

Now that he'd killed the noble lion queen,

Now the ninjas were in serious trouble,

Now these future folk come in and we can't get work nowhere!

Now you are a chicken!

Now you see me as I truly am!

Now you shall see my true form!

Now you've gotta compete against them in the dance competition on Saturday!

Now, come on guys, sure, it's easy to be a ninja when everything's going your way,

Now, come on people, we've got to think! Damnit, they took our jaorbs!

Now, come on people! What the hell is wrong with you?! Don't you see what you're all doing?!

Now, Eric, you've suffered massive head traume. Your road to recovery will be long and arduous.

Now, honey, we were trying to read.

Now, I believe we may be able to curb that risk.

Now, I have here a mascot selection sheet.

Now, I'm not telling you to go around challenging other kids to dance,

Now, I've got two guests with me tonight who have opposing views on the matter.

Now, if it's more of a lucid, speedy kind of high you're looking for, I do also carry the Daytab Cold and Flu.

Now, in order to do what we all know needs to be done, we are first going to need more support.

Now, Kyle, you haven't gone to see Mel Gibson's film, The Passion but

Now, most people are more than happy to give a helping hand to these people who obviously need it.

Now, Ms. Hilton, how should we start?

Now, nobody's getting served if I can help it.

Now, now, everyone calm down.

Now, pissed off redneck, you say we shouldn't allow anyone else through the time portal,

Now, shop friends. Shop!

Now, that's a whore!

Now, this lamp comes from the estate of Edna and James Hollinger, who lived in upstate Wyoming.

Now, we all know why we're here, and I believe we all what needs to be done.

Now, your vote didn't matter.

Nu noo, not yet. I've been standin' out in front of the school for about.

Nuh uh.

Nyanyanyanyanyaaanyaaa!

O hoh, it's brilliant! It's all just video footage of animals close up with a wide angle lens.

O kay, and what's his disability?

O o o o o oh!

OC Convention Center. It's on!

Of course we know how to dance.

Of course! Stanny can do anything! If he can build a manger, he can stop that mean ol' mountain lion!

Of course. Nurse?

Of fun and adventurous things shamon!

Ogh, good.

Ogh! Are you happy now, Stan? You just got yourself suspended!

Oh

Oh all right, em maybe I was gonna buy a glass. One glass! ... And some chips... And butter.

Oh all right, we'll let this Trent Boyett know that if he messes with you,

Oh boy, AWESOM O! We're gonna have the best time ever!

Oh boy, I can't wait to be creative and smart.

Oh boy, Stanny. You came just in time!

Oh boy!

Oh boy! I've never gotten a package this big! I've always wanted to have a huge package.

Oh boy! My robot gets to come with me to see Aunt Nellie?!

Oh boy! Our satanic powers sure did the trick!

Oh boy.

Oh boy... Well come on inside, children. I'll make you some cocoa.

Oh come on, Mr. Jefferson, you're not one of those who think

Oh come on! It's obvious what happens! I get killed by Santa Claus so that Christmas is saved!

Oh damnit! I knew that was gonna happen.

Oh dear, I'm so very afraid.

Oh dear, maybe we won't have a critters C Christmas after all.

Oh dear.

Oh dear. Mr. Slave, I think you and Wendy better have a little talk.

Oh dear...

Oh forget it! I'm not gonna be persuaded into voting

Oh God, here we go again.

Oh God, what have I done??

Oh Goddamnit!

Oh goodness, what happened?

Oh hamburgers!

Oh he will. My little poopsiekins is a very good little boy.

Oh hello, fine shoppers.

Oh hello, Ms. Claridge. Nice day, isn't it?

Oh hey guys. Heard about your news show being cancelled.

Oh hey hey, n Nathan.

Oh hey Jimmy, hey Timmy.

Oh hey! Trent Boyett Gosh I... haven't seen you in a whle.

Oh huh, this is fun!

Oh I agree. There are so many of us who are moved by The Passion.

Oh I went there. I went there, took some pictures, and flew back already.

Oh I'm retired now, but, I was in... pharmaceuticals

Oh Jeez!

Oh Jesus, a broken glass! Well, I don't see any choice now! We have to go to Wall*Mart!

Oh Jesus, he's gonna kill us. We we've gotta tell our parents!

Oh Jesus, not PETA again.

Oh Jesus, Oh Christ in Heaven, I gotta hide!

Oh Jesus, where are my clothes??

Oh Jesus! What the hell is going on, you guys?

Oh Jesus.

Oh Jezuth, Jezuth Christh!

Oh Jezuth!

Oh Kyle, Blanket, yay, it's a slumber party!

Oh look. That little feller is all alone.

Oh Lord have mercy.

Oh Lord it's on!

Oh Lord, look at those moves.

Oh Lord...

Oh man, that was great!

Oh man, they are getting served!

Oh man, this is sooo great! We, we worked so hard to be on top! Oh, oh come'ere you!

Oh man! We are in serious trouble!

Oh my God, dude! Your dad must be the coolest dad in the world!

Oh my God, he's coming! Oh here oh my gosh he's gonna kill me!

Oh my God, I'm so wasted!

Oh my God, it's so gross!

Oh my God, look!

Oh my God, they killed Kenny!

Oh my God, this is awesome!

Oh my God!

Oh my God!

Oh my God!

Oh my God!

Oh my God!

Oh my God! I'm so bored! Somebody help me!

Oh my God! Well this place is !

Oh my God! What the ? Doctor? Doctor??

Oh my God. It's a fried chicken sundae.

Oh my God. Murphy!

Oh my God. They took my jarb!!

Oh my God. You, you're right, Timmy. You're totally right.

Oh my goodness!

Oh my... Doctor!

Oh no she di'int.

Oh no, I see a problem.

Oh no, it got Kyle!!

Oh no, it's the man boy who killed Mommy!

Oh no!

Oh no! I have no powers! Kyle took them away from me!

Oh no! NO!

Oh no! NOOO!!

Oh no. Butters!

Oh no. Cartman, no!

Oh oh, right through there, Mr. Robot.

Oh oh, we were just having a slumber party.

Oh okay, but did God sent Jesus TO die, or did Jesus just get kind of screwed over.

Oh really? Well that's interesting. You certainly should think about it and make the right decision.

Oh right! The hands! Right!

Oh Stan, I just got the best idea

Oh thank God.

Oh that troublemaking son of ours!

Oh uh uh Kelly. Kelly invited me.

Oh wait wait wait, aah it wasn't her.

Oh wait! "For more information on Mel Gibson, call the Webmaster at 1 800 43.. "

Oh wait! We forgot the necklace.

Oh wait. Hey AWESOM O,

Oh well hi there everybody.

Oh well, I certainly could use some little snow shovelers, but eight thousand dollars seems a little steep.

Oh well, let's murder one of these other dogs.

Oh what?

Oh what's wrong with him?

Oh why? I guess I never thought about why, sir. We just do it.

Oh wow!

Oh yay, my friends are here! Come inside and play, guys!

Oh yeah, let's get lots of that!

Oh yeah, Panda Bear Madness! And now, let's get a look at the celebrity scene shot,

Oh yeah, sure, you're just buyin' that for your bad coughs, right?

Oh yeah, those are so hot.

Oh yeah? Well you're gonna have to find it first. But I won't tell you where I keep my money.

Oh yeah? What do you think, Mr. Jefferson?

Oh yeah?! I challenge you to a whore off!

Oh yeah?! I saw Mel Gibson's movie, The Passion, and Mel Gibson says, in the movie, **** are the Devil!

Oh yeah?! I'll bet you five bucks that when you die you crap your pants,

Oh yeah?! Kenny! Use your ninja star!

Oh yeah?! My mom took me to see Mel Gibson's movie, The Passion,

Oh yeah.

Oh yeah.

Oh yeah. Awesome. Hold on, just a second.

Oh yeah. Wait a minute. I know just where to go!

Oh yes, Craig. It appears that the ratings for your show are down significantly.

Oh yes, just felt a little kick is all.

Oh yes, the laundry machine is down in the basement and our son is home.

Oh you're wrong!

Oh, a a all right, sweetie, I, I'll take you tomorrow.

Oh, all right then

Oh, and it, it smells, too!

Oh, and, and in their back yard, guess what they have in their back yard??

Oh, another stupid store opening at some lame cowboy town.

Oh, are they nice people?

Oh, awesome!

Oh, but I suppose it would be good for him.

Oh, but that's the problem! Those goobacks are taking our jobs!

Oh, didn't you hear, Kyle? I used my new psychic abilities to catch the serial killer.

Oh, dude, I feel so much better about being ******* now

Oh, great! What's his name?

Oh, hello Wendy.

Oh, hey, What's goin' on? I'm uh, here for the party.

Oh, hi Timmy. Come on in.

Oh, hi Wendy.

Oh, hi, uh, my name is Stan, and this is Kenny

Oh, Holy Jesus, God is...

Oh, I think it's Aramaic. You know, like in the movie.

Oh, I wanna take Mr. Biggles with me.

Oh, I'm melting!

Oh, I'm so glad to hear it, Mrs. Stotch.

Oh, is your little robot friend staying the night?

Oh, it's so fucking stupid, this whole town stinks like cows.

Oh, Jesus. You told him that?!

Oh, Jezuth Christh

Oh, Jimmy Valmer! Oh, okay, what about him?

Oh, kick ass! Dude, why isn't my house like this?!

Oh, Kyle isn't home right now, hon.

Oh, looks like somebody else is doin' a little partyin' tonight.

Oh, my nipples are so tender! Ddon't squeeze them anymore!

Oh, my parents don't know, but sometimes I get picked on by this one kid at school.

Oh, nice going, you assholes! You made us lose him!

Oh, o o all right AWESOM O. Let's get us some shut eye,

Oh, oh!

Oh, okay.

Oh, perfect! We'll call it "Puppy Love"!

Oh, please, do you even know what ketsmine is?

Oh, poopsies, what's going on?

Oh, Randy!

Oh, really?

Oh, so you're the father of the boy who's gonna get f'd in the a on Saturday?

Oh, son of a bitch!

Oh, son of a bitch! I knew it!

Oh, sorry boys. I'm going out of business.

Oh, stop it, Cartman!

Oh, thank God.

Oh, that's all right, AWESOM O. Come on! I have a lot of things to teach you.

Oh, the poor thing!

Oh, they took our jobs!!

Oh, uh uh sure I, I can buy a purse.

Oh, uh, so... hey Timmy... uh hu how about we go out for a d d ddoughnut later?

Oh, very nice, Mitch. You are the smart one.

Oh, we will! This is America!

Oh, well,

Oh, well, I'm not sure.

Oh, well, you wanna maybe go to the art museum?

Oh, what a great idea! We each make it our responsibility to convert one more person!

Oh, whatever you say, Jimmy my friend.

Oh, whatta?

Oh, yeah. Here comes Kyle.

Oh, you are such stupid turds.

Oh, you know what?! This makes perfect sense!

Oh, you stupid turd!

Oh, you're sounding just like your old self again.

Oh, you've finally come back! It's a miracle!

Oh, you've got to be shittin' me.

Oh! Agh! Just, just a second!

Oh. Hi, N N Nancy.

Oh. Hiya, Stanny!

Oh. Stan got served at school today.

Oh. Sure thing. Come on in.

Oh. Uhhh... Oh. Something about hands, sir? Uh for the serial killer?

Oh. Yeah, actually, they did say that'd be all right.

Oh. Yeah.

Oh... Nno, sweetie. I believe those Olympics are just for... "special" children.

Oh... R Randy... Uh I'm surprised to see you here.

Ohhh Lord!

Ohhh yamuckers!

Ohhh, oh. I'm not sure.

Ohhh, that's so cute. Did you see Butters and his friend Eric playing Robot.

Ohhh, we lost?

Ohhh.

Ohhhh

Ohhhh

Ohoh yeah?! I'd like to see you try, asshole! I'm like six feet tall!

Ohoo but, but fellas, if I, if I dress up like a dog with a star in my eye, I I'm gonna get grounded.

Okay Mom. Well, come on, AWESOM O. Bedtime.

Okay now, t tell me the first one again?

Okay okay, calm down, Butters! It'll be okay!

Okay okay, relax children.

Okay then.

Okay, come on, let's go make some breakfast.

Okay, come on, the critters are over this way. You mountain lions ready to stop the Antichrist from being born?

Okay, fine, dumbass, YOU go ahead and buy one copy for nine ninety eight!

Okay, fine, I guess we'll look for Oh no!!

Okay, fine, I will!

Okay, fine, we'll all stay here, but we're going to sleep now!

Okay, fine. See what you can fit in there, I can take it!

Okay, First Officer Stan and Engineer Kenny, you come with me on the away team.

Okay, hang on a second I

Okay, hang on guys.

Okay, here we go.

Okay, hon.

Okay, how about this: Adam Sandler... inherits like, a billion dollars,

Okay, I think this has all gone far enough!

Okay, I think, that's it. Number 2?

Okay, I'm ready. I'm ready to do thy bidding, Mel Gibson.

Okay, it's clear.

Okay, let's hear your bark, Butters.

Okay, next in line please?

Okay, now let's get back to it, kids. What kind of verb is this?

Okay, okay, wait, here we go.

Okay, okay, you can have your powers back.

Okay, okay, you can have your powers back.

Okay, okay.

Okay, racers, are we ready?

Okay, search for Mel Gibson.

Okay, so now we just need to get a picture of Stan's mom naked. Cool.

Okay, so now you'll help us take care of Trent Boyett?

Okay, so this is all the stuff we need to sign Michael in?

Okay, sorry, my bad, e everyone back in the pile.

Okay, that'll work fine. Listen...

Okay, that's two minutes. You can come out, Clyde, Bab.

Okay, uh, you need to have your parents here when you buy them, though.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay. Age?

Okay. Go ahead, Kyle. Throw your nunchakus away. If you can.

Okay. I'll vote.

Okay. Well, you have a visitor.

Okay. You win, Kyle.

Old fool went down to the OC to try to reason with the other team,

Omigod!

On a journey through both of our minds.

On my right is pissed off white trash redneck conservative.

On your marks! Get set! Go!

Once a year.

One Crayole eight pack with crayon sharpener. One pair of plastic round tipped scissors.

One marble, blue. And one

One Martin Jefferson?

One month ago today, this amazing film opened in theaters.

One Mr. Jefferson, age 50, bought a house there and paid cash.

One of the creators told us. You have to take your keys over to the television department.

One of the original creators.

One of those immigrants from the future. He said he would do it for twenty five cents.

One please.

One testicle!

One the fans wouldn't miss much.

One Thousand Dollars

One thousand dollars, yeah!

Only you, Mel Gibson, have had the wisdom and the courage to show the world the truth.

Ooo, Aramaic. Cool.

Ooo, oh dear, I'm sorry boys, but I've already hired someone else to do it.

Ooo, ouch, ma'am, please, let go of that tight grip you have on my balls!

Oooh no, come on inside.

Oooh, I'll go make some tea.

Oooh, is that jealousy I see in your eyes, Craig? Mmm, yes, drown me in the sweet water of your envy.

Ooohh boy, didn't you get my phone message? Ooo, this is awkward.

Oooo look, here comes Clyde.

Oooo, hang on, Jimmy, it looks like Kyle has the jinx on some students' bathroom habits.

Oooo, he is gettin' served!

Oooo, interview with the vice President, hmmm. Frankly, Jimmy, I don't know how we're

Oooo, my hot body!

Oooo, sorry!

Oooo, they are takin' it out!

Oooo.

Ooooh, let's go ride the choo choo train!

Oooohhh

Ooooo, it's getting hot out here!

OOOOOoooOoOooo!

Oowrrr! Timmih! Livilaye!

OPEN THE GATE!

Or are you guys hungry after such a long flight.

Or else they would all be grounded.

Or to fix something wrong with the past?

Or until you decide that voting is important.

Or what, or whatever robots have.

Otherwise, you might as well move to France with all the other pussies.

Otimmih.

Our Christmas tree doesn't have a star.

Our lives have not been enjoyable, Trent! I promise you!

Our parents won't let us have weapons, dude.

Our powers get stronger every day, get stronger every day!

Our son, banished. Where did we go wrong??

Our souls are saved!

Our sources say that in just one week it has come up with over one thousand movie ideas,

Over at the True Value parking lot.

Over for dinner tonight.

Over there!

P Principal Victoria, can you explain how your administration fuh failed to see this p p pro o o.

P push it! Push it!!

Parent teacher conferences will be held this Wednesday night, from seven to nine.

Parents sell ya to Paris Hilton.

Parents, if you don't teach your children that people like Paris Hilton are supposed to be despised,

Parents? Parents?? Oh God!

Paris Hilton is a nobody!

Paris Hilton is making an appearance at the mall.

Paris is gonna rock his world.

Paris, I believe this is somebody's child.

Paris, you must find the way out of this place or you'll surely die.

Paris! Over here!

Party at my house tonight, Clyde.

Party at my house tonight, Kyle.

Paul. Paul!

Pees sitting down like a girl. We've also got confirmation that Sally Turner

People from the future. Right, got it.

People of South Park I am pleased to be with you on this most historic day.

People stood in long lines, sometimes waiting hours or more,

People, don't applaud me. I'm a dirty whore.

Perhaps... there is consciousness in this robot.

Placing pubic hair from the ****d girl now, sir.

Placing the blood spatter now, sir.

Play money, losable cellphone, and sixteen hits of exstacy.

Please don't make us go back home.

Please just let me go! Ah I'm gonna tell everyone I'm not really psychic!

Please, Mr. Meryl, but, the news is our life. Without it, we have nothing.

Please, you guys, our whole town's reputation is at stake!

Please! Ah I don't want to live with her!

Please! Please don't sell me to her!

Please! We're scared, we're scared!

Police used the help of Eric Cartman,

Poor thing needs water.

Poor woman suffered such horrible burns she can only communicate by.

Porcupiney is a virgin, Stanny. Her conception was immaculate.

Porcupiney is pregnant!

Porcupiney the porcupine, Skunky the skunk,

Pretty brutal, isn't it?

Probably in your front pocket, dumbass!

Professor Chaos!

Program the memories of some eight year old boy who doesn't exist,

Promise you'll never leave me.

Proper channels?

Protect the animals! Protect the animals!

Protect the people. Where have we lost our way?

Puff Daddy?

Puffy!

Put a stup to all this. Good bye.

Put it out, put it out!

Put it out!

Put it, put it up on the, monitors!

Put on some loose fitting clothes and meet me in the garage!

Quick, Kyle, give me back my powers so I can fight this evil villain!

Quiet! He's havin' a vision!

Quitting the force? You?

Randy, what are you doing?

Randy? Randy, oh my God!

Rawrrrrr!

Rawrrrrr!

Really fast!

Really good dancers and, we don't really understand what it means, but I guess...

Really? That's cool. When did ?

Really? Three hundred million domestic box office, Kyle. The top grossing film of all time, Kyle.

Really? You mean it?

Really? You think so?

Recycle that can and plant that tree, 'cause the future begins with you and me.

Relax. It's all over now.

Remember I said I put that medicinal suppository in my anus?

Remember, Mr. Jefferson? You said we were best friends.

Remember: Christianity is about... atonement.

Remove it from the theater? Fat chance!

Right now the Jew in you is screamig "NO! Those cost money! Get your money back!"

RIGHT NOW, GODDAMNIT!

Right now!

Right on the other side of the fairgrounds. He's just wandering around aimlessly.

Right over here. Good dog. Come on.

Right, Jimmy Valmer.

Right, whatever.

Right.

Right. But he can't live with the guilt anymore.

Right. He's Jimmy, yeah.

Right. Please, Wendy, you're like Class President and stuff!

Right. We should make up stories, because they'll be far more interesting

Right...

Rock the vote or else I'm gonna stick a knife through your eye.

Run Blanket Run!

Run, dude, run!

S s... ss s s steroids?

Said the boy in the red poofball hat! "We've made it already, little cubs! Fancy that!"

Said the little boy in the red poofball hat.

Same MO, sir. Multiple stab wounds, left hand cut off and missing.

Santa Barbara Police Department, this is Snetzl.

Sarge! In here!

Sarge...

Save it, Grandpa!

Say Encore!

Say Encore!

Say fellas, Jlmmy and I were wondering if maybe you would come and cheer for us next Sssaturday.

Scientist!! I want that robot's memories and consciousness E RASED,

Scramble into a big pile and start gettin' gay with each other.

Screw that, dude, I paid 20 bucks for these things!

Screw you, fatass!

Seasons change, time passes by.

Seasons change, time passes by.

Secure, sir!

See you there, Kev.

See, Ms. Claridge, when we were little, we used to play with our weiners a lot,

See, on your left hand, the thumb faces to the left. Those are all right hands.

See? That sucks, dude!

See? You are too smart.

Set phasers on stun.

Seventeen.

Sexy Action School News reported the pharmacist to the South Park police,

Sexy Action School News Team, ho!

Shake them titties when you vote, bitch! (bitch!)

Shalom hak nak shalom.

Shame on you, making this horse your slave.

Sharon, isn't that your father?

She may have money, but she's a thoughtless, talentless lowlife!

She seems to have taken a liking to you.

She snores real bad, and she has a huge nose,

She won't talk to anybody, boys. Some say... she's just given up hope.

She'll be unpopular.

She's a whore.

She's gonna give birth to our Lord and Savior.

She's gonna help around the house on Tuesdays and Thursdays.

She's super rich!

She's totally spoiled and savvy.

Shelley

Shelley, you're my sister, right? And families. .. depend on each other.

Shelley?

Shh relax, Mr. Marsh.

Shh, Blanket, we're gonna take you away for a little while, okay?

Shhhhh! What are you talking about?

Shoot it!!

Shooting everyone who crosses the time border is inhumane. "

Should bring us some chilly days ahead.

Shoveling accident.

Show the whole world what a slut you are!

Shut off the light.

Shut up about ****, fatass! You don't know anything!

Shut up, Butters!

Shut up, Butters! We know what we're doing!

Shut up, Butters. Now, there's a way out of this. We just have to use our... ninja reasoning.

Shut up, fatass!

Shut up, hippies! I'll kill you!

Shut up, turd! I'm watching television!

SHUT UP, TURD! You're going to admit to Ms. Claridge what you did!

Since the days of Copernicus, man has dreamed of flight. On this historic day we rerme aw screw it!

Since the days of Copernicus, man has dreamed of flight. On this historic day, let us go on to

Since they offer to work for such low wages,

Sir, don't you think you're talking a little too much?

Sir, it's possible that he is black, even though he doesn't look it.

Sir, some students and parents are reluctant to have a... giant douche represent them.

Sir, we just had a big town meeting, and decided we don't want your Wall*Mart here anymore.

Sir! Dr. Kels just called from the hospital! He says another little boy just awoke from a coma,

Sir?

Sir?

Sir?

Six nienty nine, fifteen dollars, etc.

Skanque.

Smell sequence initiated.

Smile Mr. Biggles!

So so that's it? No 200 million dollars?

So all I can say is...

So Dagwood says "Good, guh good thing we're playin'. .. uh the back nine at your house. "

So he picked up the cubs and down the mountain he stormed.

So here is the first most requested candidate, a giant douche.

So how do we stop it?

So I can beat all the handicapped kids and win a thousand dollars?

So I can beat him up for you.

So I feel it is my responsibility, as your friend, to tell people what you're doing, and to put a stop to it!

So I guess this means we get to keep our weapons.

So it appears the government ain't gonna help us! Which means we gotta take matters into our own hands!

So kids, get a lot of playing in before you get grounded.

So let's give it up for the OC Crew!

So let's have all our athletes report to their first assigned events and... Let the Games begin!

So long, Fourthies!

So long, Trent! Have a nice time!

So my little daughter watchin' at home saw the penis!

So now, I guess...

So o o o on?

So soon!

So that he can put the money he earns into a savings account,

So that Jimmy could learn his lesson about steroids.

So the correct term is "computerized automatron. "

So uh, ha how do they... w wwork?

So uh, I see you train pretty hard.

So we can take it back to Washington! GOT IT?!

So we're gonna start the bidding at 375. Do I, do I hear 375?

So wha so what'd you do? D'you dance back?

So what's goin' on over there? Yeah, that's pretty cool.

So where are students getting all this cough medicine??

So who won, Mr. Mackey?

So you never met your mom?

So you see, I can't make you into a whore, Wendy.

So you're gonna help us?

So you're telling me somebody new is now copying the crimes of the copycat killer?

So, come voting day, you'll now most likely vote for the turd sandwich, yes?

So, dude, do you have any brothers or sisters?

So, how would you ninjas like to do battle?

So, Mr. Jefferson, did I hear you say you moved here from Kentucky?

So, Paris, I understand you're from the prestigious Hilton family.

So, Trent, you just had to finish off your old preschool teacher, eh?

So, what's the problem?

So, with that in mind, let's continue our lessons on verbs. Remember that there are transitive verbs such as

So, you are the little boy who's been taking all our work?!

So, you're kind of the only person I have... left.

So! You boys have led me here to your secret base, huh?

So?

So?? So dude, think about it.

Society cast me out, and so I vowed to make them all pay! And pay they did!

Some even bringing their entire families. the purplish

Somebody bought the Donovans' old house.

Somebody is going to kill me, and I can't go to Mom or Dad for help,

Somebody threw a ninja star in that poor puppy's eye?

Something must be done to stop that movie!

Son of a bitch!

Son...

Sorry kid, we've got orders from corporate headquarters.

Sorry Stanny, but you see, nothing can stop the birth of the Antichrist,

Sorry Wendy. You're just not a whore. Get lost!

Sorry, Eric, but if Kyle feels discriminated against, you'll have to stop or else I'll get a call from his mother.

Sorry, heh. Never mind, heh.

Sorry, Sarge, the psychic's mom says her son hasn't been home for a couple of hours.

Sorry, Stan, I'm not a dancer anymore.

South Park 801512x384 Xvid 141MB

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Speak in a language we can understand, Mr. Scientist!

Ssh sshhhh. It's okay, Butters. Calm down. It's not that bad, really.

Sshhh, here comes Ms. Claridge now.

Sssso what are you gonna do now, huh?! You gonna be a fuckin' narc and show that bbottle to the... coaches?!

Stan and his friends just got served.

Stan is probably ready to pounce on them after what they did to his father!

Stan Marsh has a look at some new outfits for the Raisins girls!

Stan Marsh, for not following our most sacred of rites, you are hereby banished from South Park for all eternity.

Stan Marsh, how dare you use that time bashing slur?!

Stan Marsh!

Stan Marsh. Now, where's the heart?

Stan, are you getting good ideas?

Stan, do you pick giant douche or turd sandwich?

Stan, don't you think this has gone far enough? Is it really that big a deal?

Stan, I want to introduce you to my stepdaughter, Teresa.

Stan, some PETA members are growing concerned that maybe you don't love animals.

Stan, time to get up for school.

Stan, what the hell did you dance back for??

Stan, you came back. Does that mean... you learned the importance of voting?

Stan!

Stan! One family buying one glass isn't gonna make a difference!

Stan! Stan, I'm serisouslih!

Stan! Stan, what the hell is going on?!

Stan?

Stan? Stan, come on. We're gonna go find a frog.

Stan? What the ?

Stan. Stan, we have a big problem.

Stan's vote bring the total votes for Turd Sandwich to... thirty six!

Stand back, give him room!

Stand back, mother! We're having a telekinetic battle of minds!

Stand by. Be ready to destroy it.

Stanley, do you know how many people died so you could have the right to vote?!

Stanley, it's almost eight o'clock. Where have you been?

Stanley, when somebody challenges you to dance,

Stanley, when you left for school this morning you said you were going to vote!

Stanny, you're alive.

Stanny!

Stanny.

Start one. Then we're gonna put it out.

Start playing right now, young man!

Stay away from me, you stupid bbbbitches!

Stay away from us, Trent!

Stay cool, guys. If anybody can protect us from Trent Boyett, it's the sixth graders

Still more immigrants from the future arrived at the time border today,

Still no celebrities, Eric. Uhn, I'll keep my eyes open.

Stoopp iitt!!

STOP CRYING, TURD!! Now, who's gonna kill you?

Stop dude! You're gonna scramble his brain!

Stop the car, you fucking moron!

Stop, you fucking lunatic!!

Students can now cast their choice between the Giant Douche and the Turd Sandwich.

Stuffs her bra. And Clyde Donovan has only one testicle.

Stupic little Fourthies!

Stupid news hair!

Stupid redneck idiots!

Stupid Spoiled Whore clothes,

Stupid Spoiled Whore dolls,

Stupid Spoiled Whore Video Playset

Stupid Spoiled Whore Video Playset!

Stupid Spoiled Whore Video Playset...

Stupid Spoiled Whore!

Stupid.

Suck mah balls, Kyle.

Super cuuute.

Super School News. News made for students, by students.

Sure, maybe Mr. Jefferson's a little different.

Sure, Wendy. We were just trying to think of something to do.

Sure, why not?

Sure! I burn lots stuff.

Sure.

Sure. We know how to give abortions now.

Sweeet, now I can just play with myself.

Sweet. I made mine go off the jump.

Sweetie, listen,

Sweetie, really, don't go there, okay?

Sweetie, what is yoru condition?

Switchblade knife with "Kill all betrayers" written on the blade, black.

Synchronisation: Guy Tare Pour: South Park Team

T... T Timmih.

Take a look. Says here...

Take a shot at raising you in a normal setting.

Take our jobs!

Take rjurbs

Take that!

Take the first step and you will see the future

Take the first step and you will see the future begins with you and me.

Take your marks.

Taking steroids is just like pretending to be handicapped at the Special Olympics.

Television department... All right, come on, let's go!

Tell the world... Im sorry!

Tell them it was an accident: you thought you could put it out.

Ten dollars, you're breaking my balls, ma'am!

Ten percent my balls, get lost!

Terrible?? Whatever! You guys's brains just can't compute complex plans like mine can! It'll work, you'll see.

Thank you Mr. Jefferson. So do you.

Thank you sweetie.

Thank you very much.

Thank you, aging hippie liberal douche.

Thank you, ma'am.

Thank you, rabbi.

Thank you, thank you very much.

Thank you! Good luck, Michael.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you. That already feels better.

Thanks for coming to Wall*Mart.

Thanks for having me, Bill.

Thanks so much for coming to visit Butters in the hospital, boys. It means a lot to him.

Thanks, Annie!

Thanks, everybody. I I'm sorry I got a little crazy there.

Thanks.

That a copycat killer is on the loose! We need your psychic abilities to catch this new guy right away!

That being the case, it is actually me who is worried about your soul.

That Craig is a freakin' genius, I tell ya. He's like... an idea machine.

That does it! I'm sick of you guys arguing about The Passion! I'm out of here.

That doesn't count, fatass!

That doesn't make any sense.

That don't look like a dancing duck to me.

That guy happened to be Jesus, and he went through all that to pay for YOUR SINS!

That he molests children, that he's a bad father, that he has plastic surgery!

That I see that Mel Gibson is just a big wacko douche.

That I've forgotten about his.

That is a terrific idea, Stan, A Okay.

That is fucking stupid, Cartman!

That is the dumbest idea you guys have ever come up with!

That is, it's one way only and you can't go back

That means that the Japanese have more of them!

That means the winner is the South Park Diggitys!

That movie sucked ass. Give us back our eighteen dollars.

That poor kid

That should keep him busy for a while while we get this transaction finished.

That sounds perfect.

That the future is so overwhelmingly overpopulated that there are simply no jobs in his time,

That the man from one thousand years in the future has come to our time...

That the police go around framing rich black people just because they're jealous..

That was a good idea!

That was almost two years ago, sweetie.

That was Beverly Long from Indianapolis, folks. Let her hear it!

That was the right thing to do.

That wasn't a movie, that was a snuff film!

That way he could take over the whole world. The whole world!

That we can go back to being the South Park Cows!

That we would never let anything jeopardize our integrity! Well our integrity is jeopardized!

That, that's very interesting. Tell AWESOM O more secrets.

That's another Special Olympics record!

That's bullcrap dude, let's go get our money back.

That's bullcrap! Titanium alloy my ass!

That's called progress, Kyle.

That's damn fine police work, sergeant. Damn fine.

That's great AWESOM O!

That's how I feel about myself, and why I must decline this medal and my place in the history books.

That's incredible!

That's it, no more pictures.

That's it?! Ten thousand years of darkness and I don't even have a Merry Christmas?

That's it. If I want people to listen to me, I just have to be as stupid as Cartman.

That's my robot!

That's not at all what happens.

That's not what I said!

That's nothing compared to what my mom will do to me if she finds out I've been lying for five years!

That's okay with your mom, Mr. Robot?

That's okay, you guys.

That's okay.

That's our new housekeeper, Mrs. Gruhd.

That's poopie work. Blanket and me wanna play!

That's really, really terrible, dude.

That's ridiculous!

That's right, I forgot,

That's right, Stanley, the eco terrorists win.

That's right!

That's right! We're not raising our son to be an ignorant timecist.

That's right! Yeah! Remove your movie!

That's sick, dude! I'm not taking a picture of my mom's boobs!

That's ten bucks you owe me, dickface!

That's the preschool teacher, Ms. Claridge.

That's the spirit! All right, boys, I'll just need your parents' permission.

That's true.

That's two against one, 'cause Stan doesn't care. So it's giant douche.

That's what the sixth graders do behind the school at recess. They take way too

That's where all them rich movie producers who come up with uh,

That's why all African Americans newspeople learn to talk more. .. wha, how should I say... white.

That's... Mel Gibson?

That's... one of the hardest things a parent ever has to do.

That"s a... fantastic idea fellas. Uh, the key to successful humor is s staying power. Uh tell me the first mascot idea.

The abortion doctor inquired.

The added money is due to the cow shortage in South Park County.

The Antichrist had been born, sealing the world's fate.

The atmosphere is oxygen based, should support our breathing.

The AWESOM O 4000.

The AWESOM O 4000.

The boy in the red poofball hat made a star for the tree

The boy in the red poofball hat smiled and said

The boy in the red poofball hat... was too late.

The boy shook with anger! He broke a sweat and fell ill

The boys are getting along so well that we were thinking of inviting Eric to go along.

The copycat killer of the cut off the left hand killer has been arrested.

The cough companies claim they don't intend for their product to be used by kids to get high!

The cough medicine problem used to also run rampant in neighboring Middle Park Elementary.

The cow is a slave! The cow is a commodity! To be thrown away by a society gone wrong!

The critter Antichrist is born, bringin' a thousand years of darkness to the forest.

The End

The film studio commissary.

The four ninjas ran into Craig and his three friends.

The fuck are you talkin' about, dude?!

The future begins with you and me.

The future has come through a one way time portal looking for work.

The Games are in two days, Nancy I can't be w wasting my time.

The Great Satan has commanded that when the Antichrist is born,

The guys came back and they said we were gonna get served and we were like...

The heart of Wall*Mart?

The homosexual is right. From now on, Bebe, you're going to dress like a little girl.

The horrid mountain lion lived and preyed on the weak.

The horror and filthiness of the common Jew. It has made people the world over open their eyes.

The human must be non baptized and heathenistic against Christ.

The Hurricanes, the Blizzards, the Redskins, the Indians...

The Hurricanes, the Blizzards, the Redskins, the Indians...

The immigrants are fadin' away!

The Jeffersons?

The killer always cuts off the left hand of his victim, and keeps it as a trophy.

The lamp has been appraised by our auction staff at well over 2000 dollars.

The last thirteen hours we've been working on a case,

The lion cubs!

The little boy fretted. He almost started to bawl

The little boy quickly begun,

The little boy smiled with joy in his eyes

The little critters cheered and Beavery said with a smile

The little critters worked hard as they happily sang

The little forest critters prepared for the Antichrist to be born.

The magic... of flight!

The Main Street was being decorated all up and down.

The mascots on this election sheet, and instead write in "Turd Sandwich. "

The mmascots on this election sheet, and instead write in "Giant Douche. "

The most destructive supervillain of all time!

The mountain lion lay slain on the cold ground below.

The movie studio?

The New Orleans Saints.

The new Paris Hilton perfume,

The news is incredible, Aaron. Experts and scientists have been with the man from the future for several hours now,

The noble mountain lion had stopped evil in all the years past,

The only thing more important than being rich is being famous!

The only thing that puts a smile on yours

The only way to stop people from the future is to stop the future from happening!

The other girls are acting really strange.

The outside world looks down on a man marrying a llama, but our love knows no boundaries.

The Park County School Board has approved a bigger budget for the computer lab up

The Passion is causing a revolution of spirituality, and we owe Mel Gibson and this little boy our thanks.

The Passion of the Jew

The Passion was actually done as a performance piece back in the Middle Ages to incite people against the ****.

The people in the future speak a complete mix of English,

The plain simple truth is that nobody is psychic.

The point is that this is now! It's on!

The polar ice caps melt, and and it ushers in a new ice age?

The price of milk money will go up next Monday to 49 cents. The school claims

The problem is America. It is our greedy multinational corporations that keep everyone else in poverty.

The psychic detectives' horrible crime was found out by psychic detective Eric Cartman,

The question is, "Where is the heart?"

The rest of the f you do mean us?

The risk of an attack on American soil is higher than ever.

The road to recovery will be a long one.

The robot... It thinks it's alive.

The room's all spinny.

The screwdrivier set is only nine ninety eight!

The South Park Chamber of Commerce is pleased to bring you the first annual

The stupidity is so severe that it caused a fall, which has... put him into a deep coma.

The teeth won't mind.. Jesus Christ I can't go on like this.

The television department is near the back! Next to the cell phones!

The thing is, Ms. Claridge, we did a lot of stupid things when we were kids.

The time that's only once a year.

The time that's only once a year.

The tiny cubs all gathered together and cried,

The tiny cubs all gathered together and cried,

The tireless hours they put in??

The truth is, there's not a whole lot in the Bible about the Crucifixion.

The turd and the coin. And the lettuce, and the olives.

The twenty five dollar fee for the degree from the Psychic Detective School.

The two thousand and four special athlete is... Jimmy Valmer.

The Wall*Mart is exploding! Everybody out now!

The Wall*Mart is lowering its prices trying to stop us!

The whole thing is a joke!

The young man's

The... kid wants to stay, too.

Thee... uhhh. What if the ?

Theh they're all just.. jealous.

Their ebonic tribespeak with a more pure Caucasian dialect.

Their innocence, their beauty.

Then every three seconds you take a drag from your cigarette.

Then grab onto it, it's just for you

Then I'll Ihave my revenge, boy howdy!

Then I'll protect you from this Trent turd.

Then it's just gonna make our time crappy too.

Then let this be our final battle!

Then let's do Token's report on how global warming is going to kill everyone in the fifth grade.

Then there won't be no children to have no children,

Then there's the maximum strength Cortitussin Cough and Cold,

Then we aren't helpin' you!

Then we have to take matters into our own hands.

Then we planted some evidence, took embarassing photos of his penis,

Then why did I see ice cream and cookies when I closed my eyes?

Then you'll be a great big no good double faced poopy pants tattle tale!

Then you're sitting in a little office, trapped on all sides.

Then, then the future won't be so bad,

Then, they put me in a woman's tummy, and, when I was born

Theradryl DM. For kids.

There could be neighbors with video cameras.

There has to be a way!

There has to be another way!

There he is!

There he is! Hey, Eric!

There he is. That's Jeffy.

There is... one person.

There still has to be a way for you to kill the porcupine's baby.

There there now, let's just get you back home, shall we?

There was nobody to stop the Apocalypse, it seemed.

There was oine we framed a couple of times,

There was Squirrely the squirrel, Rabbity the rabbit,

There were just these kids we never saw before showed up and they were like,

There you are, Mr. Biggles! Aw I thought I'd lost you!

There you are!

There you go, right in there.

There you go!

There you go. All set, sweetie?

There you will meet the Sparrow Prince, who can guide you to Catatafish.

There! The television department!

There. Do you really want that asshole to win?

There. You see? You want to tell me this isn't humanity?

There's a dance competition this Saturday and I need good dancers so I don't get served.

There's a logical explanation for every psychic story you've ever heard.

There's a logical explanation for that.

There's even one part where the **** have a chance to save Jesus, and you know what they do?

There's just one problem: We don't have a manger for our Savior to be born in.

There's maple syrup... Maple syrup's being put on the chicken.

There's my little nephew!

There's no cause for alarm.

There's no shame in it, and I think it'll really help our ratings.

There's no telling. He may never recover. We'll just have to wait. And see.

There's nothing anti Semitic about it!

There's nothing! Don't you understand?! Nothing can stop the Wall*Mart in your town!

There's something even you can afford! A ninja shuriken for a dollar ninety nine.

There's something in my front pocket

There's something in my front pocket, There's something in my front pocket,

These are like the hottest tits I've evern seen!

These men have apparently sucked and screwed their way across the state

These movie studio guys are real nice.

These unemployed men have been having sex for several days. Joining me is their spokesperson, Randy Marsh.

They are all one color, which is a yellowy light brownish whitish color.

They are Wall*Mart shoppers all.

They call it cough syrup, cough medicine, cold and flu remiedy. But behind

They can't do that!

They challenged the four ninjas to fight, and the legendary battle of Tokutawa began.

They deserve to have an education just as much as you do.

They have like, video games and rides and a cotton candy machine

They have the lamest stores, too...

They have... doodoo in their soul.

They just found all the PETA members murdered at their compound!

They let Barabbas, a serial killer, go free instead and laugh about it.

They really let 'em have it.

They remember all they had learned and gave Kyle an abortion.

They said they could put it out.

They took our jobs!

They took our jobs!

They took our jobs!

They took our jobs!

They took our jobs!

They took our jobs!

They took our jobs!!

They took our jobs!!

They took yer jarb!!

They took yer jobs!!

They took your jobs!

They took your jobs!

They were only ninety nine cents for 15 of them.

They why don't you just quit?!

They're a new family that just moved to South Park!

They're about to start the big auction. So long, children!

They're all stupid spoiled whores!

They're being hired all over America.

They're doing it in the hallways!

They're having a huge sex party right now and I'm not invited.

They're just humans trying to make their lives better. Look, it sucks that the immigrants' time is so crappy,

They're like half crab, half people, and they live below the ground.

They're my friends.

They're never gonna catch the serial killer. He's too smart. Do you want to see my cotton panties?

They're not our pets but our fellow living beings. We work with the animals and try to live as they do.

They're only taking the small menial jobs that nobody else really wants to do.

They're paying me six dollars a week to come up with new shows.

They're the only people who suck up enough to make it that far in politics.

They're too scared! Looks like they already got served!

They're TV dinners.

Things can always work out,

Think about it: These people are from the future, right? Well, if we can git everyone to turn queer,

Think I've got a little more work to do.

Think it's wrong what the police do to wealthy black men.

This bargain is too great for me! I'm gonna have to buy these!

This better have a point, dude. This really better have a point.

This body also had a missing hand and a bowl of corn flakes next to it!

This film is anti Semitic and it must be stopped!

This is about being able to hold bad filmmakers responsible! This is just like when we got our money back for BASEketball!

This is all giving scientists a great opportunity to learn even more about American life in the future

This is an R rated movie.

This is breaking news. Here's Anchorman Aaron Brown.

This is breaking your mother's heart, Stan. She couldn't even help tie you to the horse.

This is bullcrap, dude!

This is bullcrap!

This is bullcrap! I ain't standin' for this!

This is closed circuit television for South Park Elementary School. And now,

This is closed circuit television for South Park Elementary School. And now,

This is CNN.

This is Debate 2004 with your host, Jim Lehrer

This is fuckin' ridiculous!

This is gay.

This is going to be the best critter Christmas ever!

This is gonna be a rough battle, y'all.

This is gonna be totally cool, you guys.

This is hopeless!

This is in contrast, say, to Back To The Future rules,

This is my wife, Janice.

This is Park County News 4, with your host, Jim Brown ish

This is really gay.

This is really shaping up to be a ah ah one fantastic lunch. Eric?

This is South Park Elementary School closed circuit television. And now,

This is the worst thing that's happened in this town! The worst thing!

This is the young man here. He was in a coma for over sixteen hours.

This is unfair to the cows! This is your insensitivity!

This is what happens when the moral fabric of society breaks down!

This is Yeats! Stand down! I repeat, stand down! Suspect is not black!

This is... where the body was found.

This isn't the guy. The serial killer always cuts off the victims' left hands.

This isn't the news, this is a tr tr tr... travesty.

This isn't the news! This a b b bastardized quest for ratings!

This just calls for a celebration! Let's sacrifice Rabbity and eat his flesh!

This movie is causing anti Semitism! You must remove it from your theater!

This much more than you had!

This must be the place.

This poor creature is in need of food and water.

This proves the anti Semitic effect that movie is having!

This room's all middle class and small!

This Saturday! Our top five dancers against your top five dancers!

This second arrivee claims that man's family is now much better off,

This sucks. I don't wanna keep havin' to come up with ideas for shows all the time.

This surveillance footage shows a group of troubled kids getting all the smack they want from a pharmacist!

This time I have to get a picture of my new pet BEFORE anything happens.

This time I think you really need to reconsider, because if you do this, I believe you will go to hell.

This was just outside of the gift shop. Do you see??

This way, I can move about the crowd of people undetected.

This whole time your stupid story was just a way to rip on me for being ******* at Christmas again!

This... is me at the grand canyon.

This... is the dance troupe?

Those jobs belong to people from the present!

Those kids showed up to serve Stan again and he danced back!

Those numbers don't lie.

Those two dollar salt and pepper shakers! They were three dollars five minutes ago!

Those wings don't look very strong.

Three boys named Stan, Kyle, and Kenny.

Three seconds!

Three times a day

Tim Tim?

Time for the Sexy Action School News!!

Time to die.

Time to take this Mr. Jefferson down, just like we did Kobe.

Timecist?

Timmih!

Timmih!

Timmih!

Timmih!

Timmih! Timmih, Jimmih.

Timmih! Timmih, uh, Jimmih.

Timmih! Timmiiih!

Timmih!!!

Timmih.

Timmih.

Timmih.

Timmih.

Timmih. Timmih!

Timmih. Timmih!

Timmih...

Timmmih? Jimmih! Jimmih.

Timmy!!!

Timmy!!!

Timmy.

To find the heart of Wall*Mart, one must first ask oneself,

To go see his Aunt Nellie in Los Angeles this weekend.

To hell with you!! I'm never gonna frame an innocent man again!

To judge them, is wrong! Do you understand?!

To live with me forever and ever, you dumb broad.

To stop us?

Today, the Sexy Action School News Team takes you inside the dark and lonely world.

Token, all the great African Americans newspeople have learned to hide

Token! Now, come on, guys! We worked too hard to just roll over for Craig and his stupid overall deal.

Tom Johannsen, the owner of the ice cream shop!

Tom, I'm standing in a meadow just outside of town where police have discovered the first victim of the serial copycat killer.

Too kourderb!

Too late for me, son! I have to buy this stuff!

Too late? The hell is that??

Took our jobs!

Took ur jurb!

Top athlete, yeah!

Tor torture you?

Totally, dude, let's play Fireman.

Touch my body! You and me!

Trent Boyett is a liar, sir.

Trent Boyett is a liar, sir.

Trent Boyett is being released from Juvenile Hall.

Trent Boyett is being released from Juvenile Hall.

Trent Boyett will do it. He's the toughest, baddest kid in preschool!

Trent Boyett, what have you done now?!

Trent Boyett? Meanest, dirtiest, toughest kid in the world, super pissed off at US Trent Boyett??

Trent Boyett?? The kid from preschool??

Trent Boyett. He just got released from Juvenile Hall. He was sent there for burning Ms.

Trent, look: We've realized our mistake!

Trent! Where are you gonna go?

Tru..

Trying to get a real scumbag off the streets.

Trying to stop immigration is intolerant and ignorant. Those immigrants have a right to pursue happiness.

Turd Sandwich brings us hope for change. A vote for Turd Sandwich is a Vote for Tomorrow!

Turd Sandwich isn't better than Giant Douche.

Turd sandwich.

Turd sandwich.

Turhr... Ohokahay. Okay, now let's wait ten seconds.

Turning it into a weapon is unethical.

Twas the night before Christmas, and above the woods, way up high,

Tweek and Jason that'd be a great three way.

Twelve thirty, Eric. Lunch time.

Twenty five cents? Well that's not even worth it.

Twenty five years I've been on the force.

Twenty two people?? All right!

Twice a day before meals.

Two days ago our intelligence department came across this:

Two days ago, I saw a vehicle that would haul that tanker

Two years ago!

Two years ago.

Ugh.

Uh about thirty minutes ago I thought I saw Sigourney Weaver, but ih ih turn it turns out it was a dead horse.

Uh about thirty minutes ago I thought I saw Sigourney Weaver, but ih ih turn it turns out it was a dead horse.

Uh buh, but fellas, I gotta

Uh don't tell her I'm in here!

Uh ex, excuse me.

Uh hey, wait a minute, look!

Uh huh, and so you want to join the fan club now. Our first meeting is at 5:30 p. m.

Uh it seems race is no longer an issue in the future,

Uh not now, Craig, we we have to be going.

Uh oh, looks like it's Panda Bear Madness Minute!

Uh oh.

Uh oh... Can I help... you?

Uh that modeling glue is making me dizzy.

Uh this is a rare opportunity to own a classic antique.

Uh Trent, now, listen to me. I'm sorry for the color

Uh wha, what's the matter?

Uh which of course in the future will be worth only hundres of dollars,

Uh yeah, Butters, he's real cool. Hey he sure is!

Uh yeah, I want a double cheeseburger and fries.

Uh, Butters, maybe you should give AWESOM O the videotape?

Uh, Drrrr! Drrrr!

Uh, excuse me sir, but uh, that's not a robot.

Uh, listen.

Uh, look, we're goin' over to help my dad chop wood. You... wanna come with?

Uh, my sort of girlfriend dressed me up like this.

Uh, my sort of girlfriend dressed me up like this.

Uh, no thanks, I'm gonna go home.

Uh, no.

Uh, oh boy!

Uh, sorry kids, ah I don't give refunds.

Uh, sweetheart, isn't Paris Hilton worth a lot of money?

Uh, the President is expected to give an announcement at any time.

Uh, this is Mr. Glughgogawk.

Uh, uh, they're not that cool.

Uh, Wa Wall*Mart takes the hassle out of shopping and, and makes it both affordable and fun.

Uh, Wa Wall*Mart takes the hassle out of shopping and, and makes it both affordable and fun.

Uh, we saw your movie, The Passion, and we didn't like it, so, can we have our money back, please?

Uh, we'd love to hang out guys, but we have important secret work to do.

Uh, well huh, how am I supposed to make that kind of money??

Uh, which will earn interest, and by the year 3045 be worth billions of dollars,

Uh, yeah, we need to come up with some ideas and inspiration, so we're gonna drink a bunch of cough medicine.

Uh, yeah! I agree! Uh my fragile little eight year old mind didn't know how to deal with what I was seeing.

Uh.

Uh... now ending fart sequence.

Uh... outside? No way!

Uhh, hehe. Uh de duhhhh.

Uhhh... p lease don't hurt me, Trent. I I'll give you anything you want.

Uhm, Paris, would you like to have some cocoa with us?

Um, ah AWESOM O is reorganizing your stuff for you.

Um, could I get you to do something for me?

Um, okay. This is goin' ta sound a little strange. Um, but, stick with me. Um, moommm?

Um, the last thing you dowhen you die, is crap your pants.

Um, the thing is, you really have kind a warped view on morality because you're *******.

Um. Actually, AWESOM O was not programmed for that function.

Um... okay. How about this:

Unethical? Let me explain something to you, Mr. Scientist!

Unfortunately, we have to be off to the Land of Booger Trees, so we'll be leaving now.

Unless I KNOW he's black for sure!!

Unless it's a limosine.

Unpopular?! If she's not a whore?!

Until we can get the real Blanket somewhere safe.

Up in my Wishing Tree! Hee hee! Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooh!

Us too.

Us? No, we're just kids. We still have our baby teeth.

Use the taser! Use the taser!

Usss usss seven!

Usss usss seven!

Uuugh!

Veronica Crabtree, busdriver for the elementary school. She was considered an ancillary character,

Very nice hotels.

Very special celebrity athletes here to present the trophy for top athlete,

Very well, Kenny! Let us battle!

Very well, Professor Chaos! We'll play along. Now, fell the fiery sting of my tonfa Takanawa!

Very well, then you give us no choice. Roger?

Very well. You want to see the heart of Wall*Mart? It lies beyond that plasma screen television.

Visions were so astounding that other police departments have sought out his help.

Vote for Turd Sandwich. This is the most important election of our lives.

Vote or die, mother , mother , vote or die!

Vote or die, mother , mother er, vote or die!

Vote or die!

Vulcan Jew Kyle will wait here.

W what? Mel Gibson? You're saying we have to get our money back from Mel Gibson?

W... wake up, Mommy, wake up!

Wa I'm, Wa I'm sorry, ma'am.

Waaah!

Wait a minute, look!

Wait a minute, you didn't want me to vote you wanted me to vote for your guy!

Wait a minute.

Wait a minute.

Wait a minute. Cartman?!

Wait a minute. Wait, wait, wait what about the veterinarian?

Wait guys! Hold on! I wanna go with you and help out.

Wait right here, I'll be right back.

Wait, don't you guys wanna come inside and play?

Wait, I've got it.

Wait, wha what?

Wait! Wait, stop the car!

Wait! We'll do it.

Wait! You know what we should do? We should all take a bunch of cough medicine!

Wait. I think I understand the symbolism of the mirror. The Wall*Mart... is us.

Wait. That's it. Atonement. Of course. I know what I have to do now. Thank you, Father.

Wait. You guys, I have an awesome idea!

Waiwait, the Antichrist?? You said she was giving birth to your savior!

WALL*MART!

Wall*Mart?... Are you speaking to me?... My friends? ... Trying to hurt you again?

Wall*Mart... isn't run by anybody! First it reels you in with its bargains.

Wanna watch The Price is Right?

Want to vomit my gizzards right in the gutter.

Warp drive disengaged. Landing sequence initiated.

Was a surprised little boy, in a red poofball hat.

Watch this: AWESOM O, given the current trends of the movie going public

Watch this: hey AWESOM O, will you go get my friends some Sunny Delight?

Way to put the South Park Wall*Mart out of business once and for all!

Way up in the mountains in a small little town,

We all have the power to change if we search inside our hearts

We all have to be willing to... pay a little bit more. Do you understand?

We are People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals! We protest your insensitive use of cows as your school mascot!

We are South Park, Green and White. Let's go, Cows! Fight fight fight!

We are... obviously quite evenly matched. I guess this will have to be settled in court.

We aren't honestly considering this?

We aren't sure. We only know that... there is no cure.

We beat Close up Animals!

We brought a class action lawsuit against you! We'll see you before the judge tomorrow!

We can be spacemen, or pirates on the sea Chuckajam on

We can hardly wait, 'cause it's so near.

We can start to make a difference if we want it for our children

We can't be a dance troupe with just guys. People will think we're fags.

We can't destroy it, son. We have to learn to live with it.

We can't go home. There's a ghost in our house.

We can't go outside anymore!

We can't have a tree with no star on it.

We can't tell our parents, dude! We lied to everybody! Nobody knows we're responsible for Ms.

We can't tell you where we got 'em! It's secret ninja stuff.

We can't understand you, asshole!

We could have made an innocent man go to jail who wasn't black! Oh!

We could meet up later, perhaps?

We could reprogram it and turn it into a weapon!.

We did it!

We did it!

We did that!

We didn't know what we were doing. In just four years, it was out of control.

We didn't think and now he's gonna kill us!

We do?

We don't dance like those Britney and Justin wannabes at school.

We don't have a choice, Kyle. Just humor them.

We don't have a choice. In a few hours, the dark creature inside him will consume his soul.

We don't have much time, and you've got to become the dance group you can be.

We don't have time for that, dude! We just have to ditch them! Now!

We don't have time for this! Kenny, keep him away from us!

We don't normally allow outsiders. See, here we live in harmony with animals.

We don't want to torture you.

We don't want your store in our town; we come to destroy you.

We figured you'd be perfect!

We finally did it, Santa! We brought forth the Antichrist with help from our good friend,

We go to church to learn that stuff! We go to movies to be entertained!

We had a great time, didn't we Clyde?

We had to sneak in while he was asleep and get a DNA sample to be sure.

We have arcade games inside.

We have come to return the weapons we purchased.

We have crab people. Just sayin'.

We have no choice, children. We have to forfeit.

We have to appeal to all the students, so we, we need hot girls for the sixth graders...

We have to be strong! Let's do it.

We have to kill Butters and bury him in Kyle's backyard.

We have to think about the rest of the family.

We heard you were tap dancing state champion two years ago.

We just asked him to join our dance troupe. We heard he was state tap champion.

We just gotta buckle down, dig deep,

We just need to figure out how to make our show better!

We know how to destroy it now. Spread the word to all the towns!

We know, Stanley. We've been watching.

We live in a rational community, and everyone knows this is just a movie.

We make friends with the animals. We coexist, and we... intermarry.

We met this kid named Blanket, and he has the coolest dad in the world!

We must find a human host body to transfer it into.

We need an idea for a movie that's a home run.

We need some more fur.

We need you to protect us... from a bully.

We saved the school.

We should go show our weapons to Craig and those guys. They'll be so jealous.

We should secretly go around and tell all the students we can to not check any of

We showed the shocking footage to the principal!

We sure do.

We think the movie sucked and we want Mel Gibson to give us back our eighteen dollars.

We took a bunch of cough medicine to come up with ideas for our show. I didn't come up with anything.

We uhhh found some kids that had stayed over at his place,

We used to laugh and play, but someone took him away.

We want a picture of your mom's boobs!

We want to talk to who's in charge.

We were just wondering if we could take a quick look around your house,

We were just wondering who you might be voting for, for the school's new mascot.

We were only four years old at the time, uh. We du we didn't think about the past coming back to haunt us then.

We were trying to be responsible and make money,

We were wondering if you could come down and see if your. .. new powers could help us catch the killer

We weren't entertained, and we want our money back!

We will be holding various throughout the day, and at the end of it all we will have some

We will give you food and shelter.

We would give you a reward, but I guess that knowing the people of South Park are safe again is reward enough.

We, we got it.

We, we're brothers, see, and our parents... died in a car accident last year.

We... invented the Wall*Mart Super Center in 1987. The idea was simple: build a store

We... need a doctor... But we can't go to the hospital.

We... told him not to mess with you guys. .. We told him... you paid us.

We'd all like you... out of South Park.

We'd be terrible parents NOT to consider it.

We'd better get back to the station, sir.

We'd better get out of here.

We'll count up the votes on Tuesday.

We'll pay you up front this time! We've gotta catch this new guy before he kills again.

We'll see you Saturday, fools!

We'll start with Giant Douche.

We'll take the bus! Look, this isn't about the eighteen dollars ticket money anymore.

We're being stupid spoiled whores

We're both competing in the Special Olympics down in Denver.

We're dead. Trent knows we send the sixth graders after him.

We're doing it!

We're doing the only thing we can do.

We're dumbing down the school!

We're firemen!

We're goin' to Kyle for the story on Brian Teeves trying to make out with Susan Farkle.

We're going back to the pile.

We're gonna get served on Saturday, aren't we?

We're gonna miss what?

We're gonna put a stop to Wall*Mart once and for all!

We're havin' such fun in the hot hot sun

We're heroes!

We're hopelessly stuck, completely out of ideas.

We're in fourth grade, Timmy. We don't even know what ethical means.

We're in the moving business! Fourteen years we've been workin' our butts off!

We're inside, sir.

We're inviting all the boys, and we're gonna play Spin the Bottle,

We're makin' all sorts of money for the poor.

We're making the news more appealing to students.

We're marching down to that store right now, young lady!

We're playing Ninjas, Butters.

We're scared!

We're sorry, but it seems our Main Street is dying and good people are losing their jobs.

We're sorry, Mr. God. It appears we've wasted your time.

We're trying to turn everyone gay so that there are no future humans! Present day America Number One!

We're twice the ninjas you fags are!

We're two of a kind That's me!

We've always been supercool to you!

We've been given the right to choose between a douche and a turd.

We've come to... ask you for help.

We've got a little problem.

We've got some more work to do.

We've got spirit, yes we do! Giant douches me and you! Let's gooooo, Douches!

We've got spirit, yes we do! We are sandwiches filled with poo! Yeeaahhh!

We've got to tell them who did this, you guys. We're gonna get it as bad as Butters!

We've got to work for a better future, we've got to join hands for tomorrow.

We've got to work for a better future, we've got to join hands for tomorrow.

We've gots to kill this non votin' fool!

We've gotta find the television department.

We've gotta hurry, it's getting late!

We've gotta move away. We've gotta get as far away from this town as possible!

We've made a mockery of n nununews reporting.

We've simply had it with your son, Mr. and Mrs. Marsh Voting just doesn't appear to be important to 'im.

Weak!

Weak.

Wee, he can fly! He can fly!

Wee, look! He can fly!

Weeeeeee, look at us on the swing! We're swinging!

Weh well look I, I just came down here to tell you...

Weh, ah my, what happened?

Welcome to Bentonville, Home of Wall*Mart

Welcome to Mel Gibson's ThePassion. com,

Welcome to Ssuper School News. I'm Jimmy Valmer.

Welcome to the cable access televised debate between a giant douche

Welcome to Wall*Mart.

Welcome to Wall*Mart. Welcome to Wall*Mart.

Welcome welcome to the No Spin Zone, all right?

Welcome, everyone, to the 2004 Special Olympics!

Well

Well after all that I at least wanna know if I had a merry Christmas or if darkness rules the earth.

Well ah, shucks!

Well all right then.

Well all right, we'll see you on Saturday, guys.

Well Butters, how'd it go?

Well did they say anything about limosines?

Well dude, they are taking people's jobs away.

Well go ahead!

Well go ahead! I just sure hope you don't use those whips over there on the wall!

Well good going, stupid! There's only one way to stop devil worshiping critters!

Well guys, I guess now you see what I was up to all along.

Well hello there. Welcome to our forest.

Well help yourself to a fuckin' science book, 'cause you're talkin' like a fuckin' retard!

Well how about we get panda bears and we have them dance around with us

Well hurry up if you're coming, Cartman!

Well I gotta go Dougie. My robot and I have stuff to do.

Well I was just tryin' to be helpful.

Well I, I'm saving a conscious being!

Well I... we...

Well it looks like with these bus tickets we spend about eighty... seven dollars getting our money back from Mel Gibson.

Well it's a snowball's chance in hell but..

Well lessee... Well, for one, I have what's called a heziated colon

Well little boy, it seems that YOU

Well Mr. God, it won't take but a second; it might help us with an investigation.

Well of course he is. He's my robot, ain't he?

Well our boys have really taken a liking to you.

Well sure, come on in. Mr. Slave is right over here.

Well that was the whole point of the whole thing

Well that's fine, except for that he HAS children now!

Well then, it's about time you learned!

Well then, perhaps we could interest you in

Well those aren't left hands.

Well we found an immigrant from the future who knows geology and he offered to work for next to nothing.

Well well well! If it isn't the four ninjas!

Well what about us in the fast food business?! The restaurants are firing us 'cause the future people work for a lot less!

Well what are we waiting for?

Well what are you doing here, Randy?

Well what did you expect, dude? It's the son of the Devil.

Well where else was I gonna get a napkin dispenser at nine thirty at night?

Well yeah, but not if your decision is for Turd Sandwich! What the hell is wrong with you?!

Well yeah, we're havin' a great time, Aunt Nellie.

Well you go ahead and relax, AWESOM O.

Well you just can't say you're a psychic detective, you have to use the ad in the comic book!

Well you know, the... global warming could bring on like a climate shift or somethin'?

Well young man, I guess that just leaves one score to settle.

Well young man, you did an amazing thing. Not only did your psychic visions help us catch the killer,

Well young man, you did an amazing thing. Not only did your psychic visions help us catch the killer,

Well, because, we don't really... believe in Jesus.

Well, because... AWESOM O can, like, back it up for you

Well, Butters, I hope you're happy!

Well, could you be a sweetie and take that pie over there to the Thomsons.

Well, did you wanna get right to sight seeing,

Well, excuse my French, Mrs. Marsh, but you can suck my fat hairy balls!

Well, guess I'll, guess I'll just have to kick ass in the other events.

Well, guess what, Butters. I have a surprise for you.

Well, have you been programmed to... satisfy... urges of humans?

Well, he can do anything. Watch this

Well, he doesn't really look that black.

Well, hold on, Randy, I think a turd sandwich is a little better than them having a giant douche on their uniforms.

Well, I followed this guy to his house, and when he left again,

Well, I gotta go, Aunt Nellie. Ah, AWESOM O is havin' some kind of malfunction.

Well, I guess we'll never know, because Kyle doesn't wanna hear how it ends.

Well, I have this friend, see?

Well, I have to take medicine for it every day.

Well, I just figured you'd vote for my guy! Who's fuckin' friend are you?!

Well, I'll see you nice and early for p practice, Tim tim. Oh, uh, can you hand me my bag?

Well, if you really care about your friend's soul, then perhaps show him the way of Jesus.

Well, if you're gonna give away all your money, then,

Well, in the interview, Mr. Cheney tells me all about how the

Well, it was nine, actually. One of the women was pregnant.

Well, it's been much too long now. Uh I'm afraid our helpful friend Stanny must be very dead.

Well, Kyle, I understand where you're coming from, and I appreciate you being so direct.

Well, let's see how he likes the icy blasts from my nunchakus Sokuromoto!

Well, like the rest of you, I am shocked and appalled at what happened!

Well, maybe you should apologize.

Well, my hands are tied. We can no longer have Stan's behavior jeopardizing the other children. He must be removed.

Well, nice going, Randy! Really great advice you gave our son here!

Well, no, not quite.

Well, no, Trent, I I'm not like a time traveler or nothin'.

Well, nobody knows it, but sometimes I poop my pants, so I have to wear a diaper to school.

Well, nothing we can do for it; let's put it to sleep, shall we?

Well, regardless, I believe maybe this automatron

Well, sure, but my robot is bringin' them in.

Well, that's 'cause it needs music. Here y here ya go, Jeffy.

Well, the guy in Arkansas said to destroy the heart.

Well, the reason I'm calling is that Butters is supposed

Well, the students just aren't watching ya. Your rating was only a four this whole week

Well, the thing is, Randy, you've been replaced.

Well, there he is. Where have you been all afternoon.

Well, think about it: You really think God would have sex with a porcupine?

Well, this is the end. The mountain lion obviously knows Porcupiney is pregnant,

Well, Timmy, as your counselor, I want you to know that you can tell me anything hm'kay?

Well, too bad. Ms. Hilton did raise the money, so you'll be going off with her.

Well, we'll get right on fixing that, sweetie.

Well, we're supposed to have the Broflovskis and the Stotches

Well, we've been trying to frame this guy who just moved into our town

Well, what are we waitin' for?!

Well, what do you want?

Well, what does that mean, dear?

Well, what the hell does he want?!

Well, what we got here?

Well, you children should be careful with those. You could put somebody's eye out.

Well, you're in luck, I'm happy to inform!

Well, you're mountain lions.

Well. I guess you wanna torture me now, don't you?!

Well. I never.

Well...

Well... then maybe I'll just use them a al little bit. You know, as a per formance en... hancer.

Wellll, maybe I can help you out You know, there are shortcuts.

Wendy, get a clue.

Wendy, we're sorry we called you names.

Wha, what do you think, fellas?

Wha, what, what's the m matter, f fellas? Are you... nnnninjas or p p p pussies?

What a bunch of rednecks!

What about me?

What am I doing wrong?!

What an asshole!

What are they called again?

What are we gonna do?

What are you doing with my Blanket?

What are you gonna do, Kyle? Tell on me?

What are you little Fourthies doin' in our hangout?!

What did he say?

What did you do, Wendy?! Go rat on us because you're not invited to our Paris Hilton party?!

What did you frame him for?

What did you say?

What did you say? I said I'm a real person, asswipe!

What do you guys want?

What do you say to those people?

What do you shitheads want?!

What do you think, Mitch?

What do you want?

What does she do?!

What else has big round squishy globes?

What happened to him, Doctor?

What happened to him, Doctor?

What happened to him?

What happened??

What happens to the lion cubs?

What if we do a show where we go to

What is it, Lou?

What is it, Mousey?

What is it?

What is Mr. Slave doing? He he's just sitting there.

What is that butthole doing now?!

What is that?

What isn't great about it?

What kind of atmosphere are you reading on the planet surface, Jew?

What kind of shortcuts?

What kind of sick bastard would do this to a dog? Poor little pup.

What kind of work do you do, Mr. Jefferson?

What on earth is the matter with him?

What should we do, Mr. Biggles? I drank too much.

What special time and special day,

What special time and special day,

What the fuck is that?

What the heck?

What the hell are we gonna do??

What the hell are you doing, fatass?

What the hell are you doing, Stan?!

What the hell are you doing?!

What the hell does that even mean?!

What the hell is going on?!

What the hell is wrong with these people?!

What the hell?

What the hell?

What the hell?

What the hell?

What the hell?

What the?

What the?

What the? Blasted! He's escaped!..

What the? They're all dead? Well, that means...

What time is it!

What was our Aramaic line again?

What we should do is we should secretly go around and tel all the sstudents we can to not check any of

What what what?

What you think it means, bitch!

What?

What?

What?

What?

What?

What?

What?

What?

What?

What?

What?

What?

What?

What?

What?

What?

What?

What?

What?

What? D dad, are are you dying?

What? Gettin' gay?

What? How can that be?

What? I don't wanna get served.

What? I just felt like playing a little violin, Kyle.

What? Kyle??

What? The state tap champion is from here? Who?

What? What did I do?

What? What, you think I want to be here? I hate this place. But it... won't let me leave.

What? Y you gotta vote, dude. Haven't you seen the Rock the Vote stuff or, or Puff Daddy's Vote or Die??

What? Yo you got served and just stood there and took it??

What? You mean like in an abortion?

What?!

What?!

What?!

What?!

What?!

What?! It's an obvious suck up move.

What?! No daughter of mine is going to dress like a whore!

What??

What??

WHAT??

What??

What??

What??

What?? Who??

What's going on?

What's going on?

What's happening?

What's he do?

What's more to life than partying?

What's that you're wearing?

What's that, hon?

What's that?

What's that?

What's the matter with him?

What's the matter, Stan? Did you have a bad dream?

What's the matter.

What's up, ****az?!

What's wrong with his face?

What's wrong with wanting to have the innocence and beauty of a child.

What's your ninja name, Kenny?

Whatcha got?

Whatchoo got, huh?! You got nothin'!

Whatever you say.

Whatever, that's like five years from now.

Whatever! Oh, hey, KC.

Whatever. That's like five years from now.

Whattaya got, wunderkind? Are ya seeing anything?

Whattaya want now?!

Whatwhatwhaaat?!

Whe whereas Giant Douche is just, well ju just a, ju ju just a giant douche.

Wheh? Where am I?

When Cartman is playing all alone in his backyard,

When he remembered there were three mountain cubs still alive on the hill!

When I see a black man walk by who has more money than me, I...

When up in the sky the sound of sleigh bells were heard And a jolly red sleigh flew down to the earth like a bird!

When we hear about how Christmas only comes

When we hear about how Christmas only comes Once a year.

When you're a clown, nobody takes you seriously!

Where am I?

Where am I?

Where are they gonna learn it?

Where are they?

Where are you goin', Wendy?

Where back and forth is possible, and of course, Timerider rules, which are just plain silly.

Where is it? Where is it??

Where is the nearest toilet, please?

Where seven psychic detectives were staying.

Where the hell am I?! Hey, why can't I move?!

Where they come from is dirty and overpopulated and poor!

Where we can laugh and giggle and scream. Hee hee!

Where'd you get those?

Where're you goin'?

Where's he?

Where's my dog?!

Where's my psychic?!

Where's the heart?

Which all proven scientific data shows it isn't,

Which can only mean one thing!

Which means I sometime can't control my sphincter.

Whichever crew wins tonight, you wanna remember their faces,

While intellectualism is looked down upon.

While the ice cream store owner was in jail, another murder was commited.

While trying to get Professor Chaos some aid at the veterinarian's office,

While your offer is enticing,

Who are you?

Who are you?

Who can't love it, right?

Who does? Nobody likes what the Wall*Mart does, but it keeps... right on doing it.

Who is now the only psychic not behind bars. What an amazing coincidence.

Who is that?

Who made you, robot?!

Who taught you to talk like that?!

Who the fuck are you calling a lowlife?!

Who the hell told you to put this thing back up?!

Who wants the first cotton candy?

Who'll speak for those who cannot speak for themselves??

Who's gonna tell them, dumbass?!

Who's on a business trip in Thailand. Uh, Kelly was so upset she couldn't play,

Who's Paris Hilton?

Who's the kid?

Who's to judge what makes somethng human anyway?!

Who's trying to be a child because he never got to have a childhood.

Whoa, awesome!

Whoa, boys! That's not what you need to come up with ideas.

Whoa, I'm getting woozy

Whoa, Pixie Sticks, twenty nine cents?

Whoa, wait a minute! That guy isn't black!

Whoa!

Whoa! I knew she had a hot rack!

Whoa! What a huge package!

Whoa.

Whoa.

Whoa. Dude, no way.

Whoa. I think we just got put in our place.

Whoa. Uh go answer the door, AWESOM O.

Whoa. What the hell??

Whoa...

Whoa...

Whoawhoawaitwaitheywait wait yo! Oh wait a minute, no ah, I'm wrong.

Whoo, it's on all right!

Whose dreams and visions inspired generations.

Why bad?

Why didn't we let him inside the house when he was screaming for help?

Why do people have to keep reminding us of what we don't have??

Why do we do it, Harris?

Why do you want to be like Paris Hilton?

Why don't you guys just destroy the heart?

Why don't you just sneak in your mom's closet and get a picture when she's changing clothes?

Why don't you reach down in my pocket and see what it is

Why is everybody so stupid anyway?

Why is it that us policement around the country have such a passion

Why not?

Why the hell do I have to share my room with other patients? This is bullcrap!

Why the hell would you want three copies of the same movie?

Why won't anybody listen to me?!

Why yes I'd love one, Jimmy.

Why, it's the most perfect tree in the forest!

Why, Mr. Farkle?

Why, that's the van that Oh my God!

Why?

Why?

Why?

Why? This is my office.

Why? Why??

Why?! Why?! Why did you have to take them both?! Why!

Will be in Lil Kim's next video!

Will do.

Will those athletes in heat 1 of the hundred meter dash please report to Track Aread B.

Will you guys trust me? I know this stuff!

Will you really, Stanny?

WilLoW:...) 2005 Jan 23rd

WilLoW:...) 2005 Jan. 23rd

WilLoW:...) January 24th, 2005

WilLoW:...) January 24th, 2005

WilLoW:...) January 25th, 2005

WilLoW:...) January 27th, 2005

WilLoW:...) January 27th, 2005

Winner, Jimmy Valmer!

Wipin' that rich, smug smile off their faces is

With Butters.

With his power, I can finally make the earth a better place for the ****!

With my bare hands, Goddamn you!

With peanut butter and raisins on top.

With schnapps and Scotch.

With the Sexy Action School News Team!

With water and we're just goin' along for the ride.

With you where?

Wohuhow, Jimmy, I can't believe how much you've improved You're bigger and stronger than I've ever seen you!

Won't he be soo cute dressed up as a bear?

Won't you imagine along with me?

Woo. We aren't havin' a party.

Woodpeckery the woodpecker, Mousey the mouse,

Woof. Woof. Woofwoof.

Woofwoof.

Woohoo! Woohoo!

Woowoo!!

Woowoowoowoo, Clang clang clang clang clang!

Word is we have a lot of ssstiff competition this year.

Worst one yet.

Would you like to ride the train with me,

Would you like to touch my body?

Would you like your driveway and sidewalk shoveled

Would you mind coming with me to sign up for the Special Olympics

Wow, coming up with ideas is... hard.

Wow, cool!

Wow, cool.

Wow, I didn't realize how horrible Christ's death was.

Wow, I guess Paris isn't such hot shit after all.

Wow, I'm gonna go buy that new sport coat I've been wanting.

Wow, kid, you're a little faggot!

Wow, look at all this great stuff.

Wow, neato, a competiton?

Wow, Paris Hilton is at my party! I rule!

Wow, that sounds great. I always wanted to try my dancing somewhere else.

Wow, that sounds great. I always wanted to try my dancing somewhere else.

Wow, that's a really neat little robot you have there, little boy.

Wow, that's really her!

Wow, these are great.

Wow, those animals are pretty cute.

Wow, two people from the future. How cool.

Wow, what a bitch.

Wow, what can it be? My birthday isn't until September 11th.

Wow, you guys really love animals.

Wow, you really sound like a dumb slut, Bebe.

Wow!

Wow!

Wow! A package for me from Japan!!

Wow. Sounds like this Cartman kid is pretty smart.

Wowee! Hey, can I play, uhninjas with you?

Wuchatennah! Jamonah! Heehee!

Wuff... wu wuff.

Wugh.

Wuhsure, come on in.

Wuhuff, woof, woof.

Wull ah I'm just playin' Monster. It's kinda spooky out here.

Wwell but, but what happened?

Wwow, look, there's Santa Claus!

Y yes sir!

Y you sure you weren't masturbating Jim? It's okay if you were.

Y eeessss!

Ya... you're all joking, right?

Yaaay Satan!

Yay Mr. Biggles, you're mine forever!

Yay, blood orgy! Blood orgy, yay!

Yay!

Yay!

Yay!

Yay!

Yay!

Yay! Sacrifice me to the Devil!

Yay! Woohoo! Woohoohoo!

Yay! Yay!

Yay! You're back! We missed you, Mommy!

Yay!!

Ye heah!

Ye, you okay AWESOM O?

Yeaaah...

Yeah

Yeah

Yeah

Yeah America!

Yeah huh! You wanna go with us so that later you go, "Haha,

Yeah Mom, I'm holding a meeting for all the people who loved The Passion as much as I did.

Yeah The only cool way to dance is to keep your hands at your sides

Yeah way, Craig!

Yeah well, you tell that to their families.

Yeah yeah, come on!

Yeah yeah, restraint. We'll check this guy out, but let's use some restraint.

Yeah yeah, we play Fireman all the time.

Yeah yeah! Let's hear it! Yeah, we wanna hear it! Come on, come on!

Yeah,

Yeah, and he's never gonna get me again!

Yeah, and I didn't mean to say you weren't a whore.

Yeah, and it was called Man from Atlantis, and he had like, webbed fingers...

Yeah, and South Park is really gonna stick it to Littleton next week!

Yeah, and you get straight A's in school!

Yeah, and you killed her.

Yeah, and you'd better have a lot better dancers with you than those loozas!

Yeah, better this than the slow death we'd face without a mother around.

Yeah, but Dad, the whole town agreed not to shop at Wall*Mart anymore.

Yeah, but Stan's mom is old; that means her nipples. .. sag more to the bottom now.

Yeah, but what about all the people getting laid off from the grocery stores?

Yeah, Butters. You wouldn't make a very good ninja. Come on, guys.

Yeah, Dad. We've been going out since we met in Free Period last week.

Yeah, dream on, Jew boy!

Yeah, dude, our parents are gonna be at the stupid fair all day long. They'll never know what we bought.

Yeah, dude, the best dancers South Park has to offer.

Yeah, how you like that y'all!

Yeah, I did it!

Yeah, I did it! I'm the bbub best!

Yeah, I don't uh...

Yeah, I just moved here with my dad.

Yeah, I know, but I have to

Yeah, I know.

Yeah, I think that was one of our best shows yet.

Yeah, I think they already moved in.

Yeah, I'd like to wax his crankshaft!

Yeah, I'm good. Listen:

Yeah, I've been working out... r r really hard.

Yeah, it really guilt trips you into believing.

Yeah, it sure is tough.

Yeah, it was a lot of work. Took years,

Yeah, it was some kids from out of town.

Yeah, it's so totally awesome. Craig crapped his pants when he saw it. Yeah, sweet.

Yeah, Jimmy's right. I know we can come up with way better ideas than Craig.

Yeah, just vote. For Giant Douche.

Yeah, let's go race it right now.

Yeah, let's just go return them and get our money back.

Yeah, make some noise!

Yeah, me and my robot are still over at the movie studio, Aunt Nellie.

Yeah, over at the True Value.

Yeah, Sexy Action, that's good.

Yeah, so I see this ad on the Internet saying if you love The Passion to come to this meeting, so here I am!

Yeah, sure, but these are new. They don't show up in our urine tests.

Yeah, sure, whatever.

Yeah, that it, Cartman! You don't get to have any powers!

Yeah, that was sweat!

Yeah, that'd be cool.

Yeah, they took our jobs!

Yeah, they're invited too.

Yeah, think about it. If I go there now, there won't be anybody else there.

Yeah, this is even gayer than all the men getting in a big pile and having sex with each other.

Yeah, to the Son of our Lord, Satan, Prince of Darkness.

Yeah, we're makin' a bunch more money. I can't believe it either.

Yeah, well, I've got an overall deal with the school, heh.

Yeah, when you die, your jowels release and crap comes flying out your ass.

Yeah, who cares?

Yeah, who cares?

Yeah, woohoo

Yeah, you didn't tell us that we might get served.

Yeah!

Yeah!

Yeah!

Yeah!

Yeah!

Yeah! All right!

Yeah! And I videotaped him doing it!

Yeah! And if Cartman ever messes with me again, I'm gonna show that video to everybody!

Yeah! Because their hearts are full of greed and

Yeah! Fuck yeah!

Yeah! I mean, there were children watching that auction!

Yeah! I read 'em all the time! Uh here's one: the uh, snail tripped over a hurdle,

Yeah! I totally wanna suck your mom's tits.

Yeah! Let's all go shop at Jim's Drugs down the street!

Yeah! Now it's a Wall*Mart!

Yeah! We should make up a bunch of reports about how dangerous it is to be alive.

Yeah! Yeah!

Yeah! Yeah!

Yeah! You guys!

Yeah!... What's this for?

Yeah?

Yeah?

Yeah?

Yeah?

Yeah?

Yeah? And what do we get for it?

Yeah? Who invited you?

Yeah?! You wanna bring it, you little pussy?!

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah. A really bad dream. Oh Jesus!

Yeah. An abortion. That can work.

Yeah. And then this other time, he pretended to be me on the phone to my dad

Yeah. Awesome.

Yeah. Come on, ninjas.

Yeah. Did Kyle bring a thousand years of darkness or not?

Yeah. He just got paroled.

Yeah. I think it'd be better to start lower.

Yeah. I'd like to see you try.

Yeah. I'm not conforming to some dance off regulations.

Yeah. It was great.

Yeah. It's just a dad and his son.

Yeah. Lots of people got crucified in those times. We shouldn't rely on violence to inspire faith.

Yeah. Maybe if we can get higher ratings by the end of the week, he'll let us stay on the air!

Yeah. Maybe that robot can be programmed to come up with movie ideas!

Yeah. Nice p pecs. Sweet b biceps.

Yeah. One time he made me think a meteor had hit the earth,

Yeah. She said your shoe came off. It wasn't your fault

Yeah. Sure does. Uh huh! Uh huh!

Yeah. That guy probably thinks he can get us to go away by being so goofy!

Yeah. There's this Asian kid name Yao.

Yeah. To save our show, all we need to do is come up with the best idea for an episode ever!

Yeah. Trent's just lucky he didn't mess with us. I woulda kicked his ass.

Yeah. We have no idea what ketamine is.

Yeah. We wanna get one of each of these ninja weapons.

Yeah. We won't have to take crap from anybody.

Yeah. We've come to complain. We don't want a Wall*Mart in our town.

Yeah. We've got a big problem.

Yeah. We've got to start working towards a brighter tomorrow.

Yeah. Will you buy me that purse I want over there? I'll do anything, 'cause I'm a whore.

Yeah. Yeah, that counts.

Yeah. Yeah, there is.

Yeah... Amazing coincidence...

Yeahah! Hooray!

Yeh no, no, wait wait wait. I got a better idea you guys.

Yeh.

Yep, b b b bail.

Yep, meatload again.

Yep, the mountain lion probably swallowed him whole.

Yep. That's right. He's a real live robot. He can walk and talk and everything.

Yes he

Yes he did.

Yes he did.

Yes I did! I said from the beginning that you would do this!

Yes I did!!

Yes I did!!

Yes I did!!

Yes I did!!

Yes I would, Mr. Jefferson.

Yes we can do everything, and I mean, everything! Chuckajam on

Yes yes, I see!

Yes yes. Take him away!

Yes, and more than three billion times his net worth.

Yes, and then we can begin the cleansing, if you know what I mean.

Yes, but I'm gonna want something in return.

Yes, but unfortunately, you got crushed in the ratings by Craig's new show.

Yes, don't you see? That is the heart of Wall*Mart.

Yes, hon?

Yes, it has just been a delight having your son over, Mrs. Cartman.

Yes, it was pretty severe.

Yes, life here is good and natural.

Yes, of course he can go. I'll bring some of clothes over.

Yes, of course.

Yes, our conscious got the best of us and, and we were just about to tell everyone the truth.

Yes, sergeant. What can I do for you?

Yes, thank you very much, Kyle.

Yes, thanks.

Yes, The Passion is very powerful.

Yes, The Passion is very powerful.

Yes, there are incredible things we're learning about Americans in the future,

Yes, us, the rest of the family.

Yes, yes!! Now the **** will take control of Christmas once and for all!

Yes! Yes!

Yes?

Yes?

Yes?

Yes? Oh, hello, detectives.

Yes? Oh, hello, detectives.

Yes.

Yes.

Yes. And I... am Bulrog. Tough brute ninja who has dedicated his life to eradicating the world of hippies

Yes. AWESOM O is fine. Please go on.

Yes. AWESOM O is fine. Please go on.

Yes. I will be your new best friend.

Yes. The life of a ninja is complex and full of peril.

Yes. Those boys are quite imaginative.

Yes. Wall*Mart is the leading employer of seniors. And they also employ the handicapped.

Yes. You can trust AWESOM O. In fact, you should tell AWESOM O all your most personal secrets.

Yeyeah, that, that's pretty good. Get it up there good and deep.

Yo, what did I say was going to happen to you, bitch?

You all right, Lady Porcupiney?

You always hated it.

You are an incredible robot, AWESOM O.

You are both trapped in spiderwebs!

You are grounded, mister!

You are obviously a big fan of my work.

You are wanted for child mo les tation!

You are, hon, but... I don't think that's a very good idea.

You are? Oh thank you thank you thank you!

You aren't gonna believe what happened, Stanny. It's the most magical Christmas gift ever!

You bastard!

You betcha.

You boys are approved for twenty seven new shows.

You boys! Trent is trying to tell us the fire was YOUR idea.

You butthole, Kyle. You just had to go and ruin everything, didn't you?

You can appeal to the city council, but I don't think it'll do any good. Your son must leave South Park, never to return.

You can carry all my laundry in one trip!

You can make videos that get out on the Internet!

You can talk to me, Ms. Claridge. I understand: one beep for yes and two for no.

You can torture me all you want, I still won't tell you!

You can't be serious

You can't charge people to watch a guy get tortured for two hours!

You can't do no chores for me unless I tell you to do them! You got it?!

You can't even imagine the kind of depression they come from! So for us, who have everything sooo good,

You can't hurt me.

You can't judge the merits of voting on whether or not your candidate won.

You can't not like The Passion! I just followed the Bible!

You can't pass through this area until you defend your honor!

You can't run from a.38, go ahead and try!

You can't run from your past, turds. Apologize and make amends.

You can't say my movie sucked, or else you're saying Christianity sucked!

You can't throw away something you paid fifteen bucks for. Go ahead and try.

You can't treat people like this!

You cannot have a picture of my hot breasts.

You did a great job in the 500, Timmy You really I'm ... p p proved.

You did it, son! You did it!

You didn't like The Passion? But it shows how Christ suffered for you.

You don't care?! You really want a turd sandwich as your school mascot?! On your football helmets?! A turd?!

You don't even know how to use that!

You don't even know what partying is, loser.

You don't have any powers!

You don't have to question that. Because I'm here to tell you.

You don't have to tell us twice, Mom. That guy's a freak!

You don't know anything about ****, fatass!

You don't know?

You don't see the point!! Oh you young people just make me sick!

You don't stop it.

You don't understand the issues, Sharon!

You don't want that movie to show you just how bad the **** are,

You don't want to go to this party, Wendy!

You feel bad for him?! He has everything a kid could want!

You ffffaked being handicapped to win?!

You get a discount working here. Ten percent. That means the bargains are even better.

You give me strength when there is doubt, and I praise you for all you have done.

You got a picture of your mom's bewbs?

You got here just in time.

You got here just in time.

You got served!

You got served? By who?

You got tricked by a squirrel? Gee, you're not too smart, are you, mister?

You guys better not be trying to Bogart my friend away!

You guys can't fix my eyeball! You have to take me to the hospital!

You guys know what Mr. Jefferson said?

You guys know what?

You guys thought you were sooo cool, didn't you?! Well look at what we got!

You guys, don't buy this stuff.

You guys, I feel kinda bad for that kid.

You guys, I have to go to school tomorrow.

You guys, stop! Please. You're gonna make people hate us more.

You guys, we watched Craig's show all night long.

You guys, we're free! We haven't a care in the world!

You guys, what the fuck are we gonna do?! In case you've forgotten, Trent Boyett is the meanest kid we ever knew.

YOU GUYS! YOU GUYS! I have the best idea ever! I'm gonna be rich!

You guys. You guys, wake up!

You had five years to do that. And while I wasted away my time in prison you've been enjoying nice,

You hate Butters.

You hate Wall*Mart too?

You have a home here, friend.

You have shown me the way so many times in the past and... now you are making all my dreams come true.

You have that power too?

You have the heart and the soul,

You have the heart, but you don't have the soul.

You have to be the

You have to be the ones to make sure your daughters aren't looking up to the wrong people.

You have to buy wings if you wanna talk to the Raisins girls.

You have to dance back at them, or else they'll think you're weak.

You have to have a parent with you to sign up for the Special Olympics.

You have to learn now how important ratings are!

You have to, Jimbo, or else we won't be able to stop them! They too 'r jaobs!

You haven't seen it once!

You heard what?

You just gotta pretend you're Blanket

You just keep your G Goddamned mouth shut and do what you're t t t uh tol told!

You just look 'em straight in the eye,

You just sit right there, Stanley, and you thnk about what you've done!

You just take one of these little blue babies

You just take this little thingy out of the plastic... paper, and and I'll,

You keep going like this and you'll break Special Olympics records on Saturday!

You know as well as I do most of the kids in Special Olympics aren't shooting up to compete.

You know me better than I know myself.

You know this to be true.

You know what it is? You're scared. You're scared of the truth.

You know what that means? It means we don't hang out with a little kid.

You know, a racist, but against people from the

You know, he's right, Elise. We shouldn't focus our faith on the torture and execution of Christ.

You know, what's that one thing that starts with an R that we never use?

You know? But then the people came along and, and now we're out of work too!

You know. Steroids.

You love my vewy much, don't you?

You mean she doesn't live here, or she's dead, or what?

You mean, dancing without a machine telling you what to do?

You might just wanna stop for a second and think about how crappy the future really is!

You misled him, fat ass!

You must have a mom.

You must pay the twenty five dollar fee and give us ten percent of yoru earnings!

You name it!

You need a little help with your math homework?

You need to know how important ratings are, Craig, so, I'm going to suspend you

You okay, AWESOM O?

You only need one copy, artard!

You said it.

You said we have no idea that you're never let us hurt Wall*Mart!

You saw that?

You say he disappeared?

You see boys, if we like our small town charm more than the big corporate bullies,

You see the damage you've caused, Eric Cartman?! WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?!

You see Token, people really enjoy seeing African Americans on the news.

You see, gentlemen? The Special Olympics Championship and my one thousand dollars is just four days away.

You see, I I didn't have a childhood, so I'm really just a child myself.

You see, I was working for Wall*Mart all along!

You see, Mom, all the kids at school were told to bring a picture of their moms' breasts for anatomy class.

You see, what Turd Sandwich brings to our school, Clyde, is a complete package.

You see, you have to believe in the rights of women

You see? He's out of control. It's nearly torn our whole family apart.

You seem to really have a way with them.

You should have seen him squirm!

You should split that money with AWESOM O.

You son of a bitch, you told my this guy was African American!

You speak too much, sir!

You take him to the hospital and let your mom find out what happened.

You think an ice age can just happen all of a sudden like?

You think the school mascot should be a turd sandwich? Well you're not exactly Einstein!

You think you can just roll in here and tell us it's not on when it very clearly is on?!

You thought it sucked? Sir, apparently, you don't understand what Mel Gibson was trying to do!

You three advance to the next heat.

You too, Francis.

You wanna get outta here? Talk to me.

You want a little more, homeboys?

You wanted to see me, Mr. Meryl?

You were right?

You were right?

You were right.

You were right... You were right all along...

You were supposed to fill out the form on the back of the comic book and pay

You will all see your town completely change...

You won't get more votes than us, asshole!

You work eighteen hours and what do you get?

You wouldn't be interested, Wendy.

You you aren't gonna... tell anybody, are you?

You, Puffy man, are we just gonna let this happen?

You, the consumer. I take many forms: Wall*Mart,

You, you give everyone else credit for my work, because you fail to see my greatness.

You! You would all love to torture me, wouldn't you?

You?

You... don't belong here, Stan. You should return home.

You... you're my robot?

You'd better help me find him!

You'd better not be talking bad about me in there to Mr. Jefferson!

You'd better pray I never get out of Juvenile Hall! You'd better ALL pray!

You'd have to take your complaint up with the film's producers.

You'er safe now.

You'll do a line and I'll do a line, honey

You'll do a line and I'll do a line, we'll fight an' screw 'til the mornin' time.

You'll find all the copiers and printers in the next room over and then uh

You'll snort K and I'll snort K, babe.

You'll snort K and I'll snort K, honeeey.

You're a good cop, Harrsion Yeats.

You're a Stupid Spoiled Whore.

You're a turd sandwich.

You're a turd sandwich.

You're a turd sandwich.

You're at the hospital, Eric. You've... been in a coma for some time.

You're certainly a better psychic then Eric.

You're crazy!! A d a douche is at least clean!

You're doing so much better, muffin.

You're doing the right thing, Stan. Don't you feel like you're a part of something now?

You're Goddamned right! These people from the future are takin' all the work away from us decent present day Americans!

You're gonna have to do better than that, Fourthies!

You're gonna have to talk to the higher ups.

You're grounded, old bear.

You're helping Craig make his show?! I can't believe you would betray us like that?!

You're invited.

You're just trying to make us not practice, aren't you?!

You're like the fourth kid I told already.

You're mine forever!

You're not even spoiled, because your parents give money to charity!

You're not gonna believe this.

You're not leavin' anybody!!

You're not leaving me! You try to leave me and I'll kill you, bitch!

You're not the boy I fell in love with last week during Free Period. I'm leaving you.

You're paid to think, Mr. Scientist! National security is our jub.

You're perfect! Just pu perfect!

You're really not a winner. You're just a p pussy. You're just a

You're responsible for the enslavement and genocide of millions!

You're right. I've been so obsessed with my childhood

You're so awesome, Mr. Jefferson.

You're so lucky I have a... sore shoulder, Kyle, or I'd totally let you have it.

You're Stan Marsh, right?

You're thinking the robot could be used to come up with anti Islamic movies?

You're trying to steal MY best friend!

You've been on your fucking phone since we started!

You've been shut up in your room for days, Butters. You need to go outside, go play.

You've done us a huge favor, Stanny!

You've got to come with us!

You've had a busy day.

Young man, how did you know the nurse was gonna walk in just now?

Young man, the doctor said you've had some. .. visions about our newest murder?

Young man, what do you think about all this?

Your ancestors came to America as immigrants. What right do you have to turn these people away?

Your feeble ninja powers are no match for me!

Your friend Kyle said you don't understand the importance of voting.

Your girlfriend?

Your girlfriend?

Your grandfather was a coal miner for fifty years; he never complained!

Your hand will be one with the others.

Your idea took about this much thought, Craig!

Your mom has the sweetest bewbs ever.

Your mom says you were one of the best dancers in the country.

Your name is Blanket. Right. Well, Blanket, I'm Howdy Doody,

Your robot doesn't know it's a robot!

Your robot?

Your show beat Close up Animals with a Wide Angle Lens by three viewers!

Your source for everything Mel. Pictures, philosophy, upcoming projects.

Your time is up, Turd.

Your vote still mattered.

Yse, Doctor.

Yup! Don't you know nothin' about robot?

Yup. Just take the sign up sheet down to the next table and we'll get it all finalized.

Yyyeess!

'Cause it's on! It's on! It's on! It's on! It's on!

a castaway, forced to live his life out in solitude.

All right Butters! You dd it!

All right, ninjas! Let's go protect the world! Kick ass!

All right, so you're sure he can dance? Oh yeah.

All right! All right!

All right! All right! We did it!

All right! No no no!

and I told you that

and why everyone hates you. People don't hate the ****!

Are you all okay? Yeah.

Aw, what do we do, Chef?? Rules are you have to have five dancers.

Best we call the animal shelter. Right away.

But Dad... Now!

Butters is right on the other side. We have to get past them!

Butters! All right!

Butters! Butters!

Butters! Butters! Here, Butters!

C Cartman should be punished! Yeah!

Come on, fools! You dancin' or what?! Can he move it?

Did you invite him? No!

Dude, shut up! I agree with Cartman!

Dude, we need a girl. Huh?

Dude, we need you. I can't dance without the machine.

Goddamnit, Cartman! You can't keep making up new powers! Yeah dude, that's like the fifth power you've come up with!

He got you, dude. Now that kid is gettin' served!

Hello there, children! Hey, Chef.

Hello, Craig! Look what we got.

Here, hold this stuff for me. Good luck, Bulrog.

Hey kid, that knocks you down. Nuh uh!

Hey yeah, tackle the queer kid! We'll show you, queer!

Hey! That's Mel Gibson! Yeah. I told you that!

Hi Butters. Hi Mom.

How's it goin'? Bad.

I heard that! All right, it was good.

I saw The Passion. Oh no! The Passion?!

It's Butters! We saw 'im! Where?!

It's off. It's on!

Kill him! Guilty! Kill him! Kill him!

Loo loo loo, I've... Butters, you have some visitors.

Naw uh! Go see the movie, Kyle!!

No no nono no no, no! Butters?

No way, you got weapons too?? Where'd you get those?

No! I'm on the away team too! It's my Mom's new minivan, so I'm the captain, Kyle!

Nuh uh. I've got the whole thing on tape!

Oh shit, somebody's coming! Quick, hide Butters!

Oh shit, you guys are in trouble. We're outta here! No dude, you gotta help us find him!

Oh, dude! It's stuck in his eye! What the hell did you do that for, Kenny?!

Oh, fuck dude! It's Butters. Oh my God!

Oh, that's great, sweetie. Tell them I'll be down shortly

Ohhh Jesus. Oh dude, we are gonna get it now.

Okay, good. But I know I can't stop you from doing it.

Okay. I'll give it a shot. All right, that's three!

Oooh, Butters, are you going out to play again? Yeah Mom, I'm jus' goin' outside for a little while.

Oooooo, look at that! Lord!

Ow! I know, I know. Be cool.

slashed the bus tires in Arkansas! I said so! I told you the minute that I

So if we make Butters up to look like a dog,... Ohh no. We might pass him off as our pet.

So what happened? It's on!

So you'll do it? Why not?

Some, kids from Orange County. Let's not make a big deal out of it.

Stop it, Cartman! Pfaha, so funny.

Stuck in his eye? Was he bleeding? Ye yeah, a little Butters! Get back here right now!

That's right! What he said. How dare you?!

The hell with that! We're in this together, Craig!

Then fight us! Very well, Clyde. Kiyaaaa!!!

Then it's NOT too late! Come on, Ninjas!

They didn't do nothin'! Sorry y'all, but tru not to let it sting too bad!

Things seem pretty quiet. Yes. A little too quiet.

We demand you stop showing it! Yeah! Yeah!

We have a lot of work to do. Yes, and no time to do it. No time...

We have to get rid of the evidence! What?

We sure do! Yeah. All right. Woohoo!

We're not interested, thanks. You're not interesetd?

Wha, what does that mean, sweetie? I'm not sure, but uh.

Wha? Yeah! YOU got served!

What a great idea! It'll be like a parade!

What? It's Jeffy. He sprained his ankle.

What?? You don't understand what my mom will do to me if she finds out I was playing with weapons!

What's going on here? They're trying to have The Passion pulled from the theater.

Who the hell is that?? I dunno. Craig, is that you?

Whoa! Where'd you get those?? Let me see.

Whore off! Whore off!

Why, I'd love to. What kind of competition is it? It's a dance off.

Will any of you do it? I'm not doin' it.

Yeah huh, I got you! Nuh uh! Because my cloak is made of a

Yeah, bad ass! Yeah, that was tight!

Yeah, it makes **** into stereotypes. Stereotyping **** is terrible.

Yeah, we know. Well, I've gotta get to the fairgrounds.

Yeah! That's right!

Yeah! Right! It isn't fair!

Yeah! Right! Yeah, like, when men shave their balls it's fine,

Yeah! We're outta here! That was smokin'!

Yeah. That's stupid.

Yeahh I'm I'm right here, Dad. Stan, listen to me.

You guys! You guys! What is it, Craig?

, and make copies and stuff. I am AWESOM O.

, but I'm gonna explore every possibility I can.

, Timmih Jimmih Jimmih Jim

! Jesus! Where will it end?!

.

..

.. beeping once for yes and twice for no.

.. eh ... eh ... eh

.. good old fashioned police work. Come on, Murphy.

.. Gosh.

.. of cough medicine abuse.

.. p p problem.

.. Seeing African Americans on the news, not hearing them.

.. the facts!

.. two hours now ah, and I haven't seen any celebrities.

.. Wearing Hats. Take a look.

.. Well the thing is, Token, we... we really need to revamp your whole TV persona.

...'K. Sweet.

...and he puts it together to make Quadruple Stuffs!

...and went back to the forest to set everything right!

...Bail.

...But aren't those illegal?

...but what does she do?

...Craig's show??

...Dude, you're supposed to vote for Giant Douche.

...Geez, this looks a lot higher from up here.

...golden retriever, or something.

...Hard hitting reporting, Stan. Thanks a lot. And now, here with the celebrity watch is Butters Stotch.

...He thought he could hide from his problems not true!

...He tried to forget all about it by watching TV

...How should I know? I'm retarded. Daaaaa!

...I could pile at Shakey's, heck.

...I think bail.

...I'll split the money with you.

...I'm sorry, Eric. The answer is No.

...I've got time. Do youuu??

...if I could just see the challenges they face every day, ... mauye I wouldn't be so cold.

...is intelligence all the same, and we can learn from the robots.

...Nno, I'm asking what his specific condition is. Down's Syndrome? Cerebral palsy?

...No

...No way.

...No, sir, if you'll pardon me, you are in fact, the turd sandwich.

...No, sir, if you'll pardon me, you are in fact, the turd sandwich.

...Oh Lord, Kumbaya.

...Oh my God.

...Restraint?

...Sir, you are a turd sandwich.

...Sir, you are a turd sandwich.

...Sir?

...six, seven, eight.

...six!...

...six!...

...Stupid Spoiled Whore video playset!

...Thanks.

...The little woodland critters were also preparing for their Christmas day.

...They are fun.

...titanium alloy that shields me from heat!

...Train together

...Uh you know, uh, my opponent wouldn't even know the answer to that question.

...Um, he's retarded.

...Um, where is this videotape, Butters?

...Unless... of course, you can find and destroy its heart.

...Wait wait, what about Butters?

...Welcome to Wall*Mart.

...What did you say?

...What is troubling you, my child?

...What the hell just happened?

...What?

...What?

...Whatever. I can go get another one at Wall*Mart. It was only five bucks.

...Yeeeah.

...Yes, it's flawless! Punch Drunk Billionaire!

...You see, Kyle, it was me who slashed the bu

...You're a stupid asshole!

...You're an asshole, Cartman.

...You're gay!!

'Cause after I slit your throat you won't have a f voice

'cause the next time you see them...

'Vote or die! Vote or die!

" steroid taking jackass. "

" No, Mommy!

" To Butters Stotch. " Oh boy! It's for me! It's for me!!

" You'll do a line and I'll do a line, babe. "

" You'll do a line and I'll do a line, honeeey. "

"And now, back to Terrance and Phillip" Hey Terrance, I think I have a

"At the end of the Special Olympics, a Grand Champion Special Athlete is crowned and given a cash prize of $1000"

"But Mo o o om

"But Mo o o om. "

"Dear intolerant rednecks, we sympathize with you all losing your jobs.

"Dude, there's Cartman. We should invite him to the party for sure. "

"I know! The abortion clinic just outside of town. "

"I know!" he said with a new happy grin,

"I'll go back to the forest and speak with those critters again!"

"I've Got Something In My Front Pocket For You,"

"Junior, what are you doing out?" I'm sorry, Mother. "You come home rigtht now and have sex with me!

"Of course I'll build you a little manger!" the little boy cried,

"Oh dear, my best friend is possessed! How about that? " said the little boy in the red poofball hat.

"Remove me from the record books, because I am a big, stinky p pussy "

"Sent from: Japan. Konichi wa. "

"The 11:15 bus from Denver arrived twelve hours late. " Or in Futurespeak, "Vvut. "

"The boy threw the red ball," which in Futurespeak of course, is...

"The sad girl puts balls in her mouth. " Or, in Futurespeak of course, "Gluch gligh balls glych gligh. "

"Vote or Die"?

"Vvut. "

"Warning: Taking more than the recommended amount can cause severe side effects. "

"Where can they learn that?" the boy said with a frown.

"Who is it that asked the question?"

"Who Is The Biggest Whore" showdown.

"Who's Paris Hilton?"

(All right!)

(And it's time for us to come clean.)

(Craig just asked me to do his show, geez.)

(Don't take it personally, Kyle)

(Giant Douche! Vote for him!)

(Giant douche.)

(Hey! Come over here!)

(Hey! Get me out of here!)

(How about we put a real fire out?)

(I'll do it.)

(Oh yeah!)

(WHAT??)

(Woohoo!)

(Yeah, totally awesome!)

(Yeah.)

>From the test results, it would appear your child was tortured by a bully.