Postal Dude Sounds: Postal 2 Edit

Ah.

All out of cash.

An one more group offended guess I'm just not a people person.

And now you're all gonna pay.

Apparently I'm feeling a little psychotic this morning.

Are you going to sign this or will it be your surviving family members?

Are you storing cadavers in here?

Aw, that can't be good.

Billy Joe Bob

Bite my ass

Bless me father, for I have really sinned, really. I'm not kidding here. Big Sinner. Yep.

Bobo the space monkey.

Bull****'

Butt sauce

Can we all just get along?

Chicken

Chuck Heston

Close enough.

Close enough.

Come on hurry up. I know you got minorities to oppress.

Come on, hurry up.

Cool cash my check now. Maybe I'll go cash it myself in the vault.

Cousin of Johnny Joe, Billy Jimbo, Bob.

Crap.

Damn here I was, minding my own business, just enjoying my Second Amendment rights and you people have to freak out on me.

Damn it.

Damn that stings.

Damn, do all these people look alike or what?

Definitely some inbreeding going on here.

Did I ask for cheese?

Do all these people look alike or what?

Does my voice annoy you?

Does my voice annoy you?

Doesn't take a genius to guess what will happen the next time one of them sees me.

Don't crowd, there's plenty for everyone.

Don't these people have jobs?

Dude.

Excellent.

Excuse me while i push my entrails back in

Fascinating.

Fuck you

Gary Coleman's autobiography would have been more interesting.

Gee, I hope nobody is taping this.

Gee, that wasn't so awful.

Geez, I better get that looked at.

Geez, if the Sheriff turns out to be done not I'm going to kill everyone and then myself.

Get damn dirty apes.

Give me some money.

Glad to see my tax dollars aren't going to waste.

God, what an awful stench

Grand father of Jimmy Joe Billy Bob, cousin of Johnny Joe, Billy Jimbo, Bob.

Great, now my day is complete.

Great.

Groovy.

Guns don't kill people I do.

Happy ******* birthday.

Have a nice day.

Hello miss.

Here's some lead for you to recycle.

Hey Ayatollah, how about some service over here?

Hey Ayatollah.

Hey Chico, I need an alternator for an 87 Duff **** you.

Hey, I know you've fallen and you can't get up.

Hey, I'm just exercising my Second Amendment rights here. You ******* communist.

Hi there, would you like to sign my petition?

Hi there.

Hi there.

Hi.

Hm...!

Hmm. All out of cash.

Holy ****

Holy **** I'm not racist. These people really do all look alike.

How about some service over here?

How convenient.

How much do you want for it?

How would you like it if somebody called you a lunatic?

Huh...

I am the law.

I can't buy that.

I definitely need more of that.

I definitely need to get this looked at.

I didn't expect that.

I don't even like video games.

I don't feel so good.

I don't think so.

I feel better already.

I feel better already.

I feel great.

I feel like sh**

I guess I'm just not a people person.

I had Faith is system will set me free.

I hope the ***** appreciates the trouble I went to.

I knew it.

I knew it.

I know what you're thinking, but The funny thing is I don't even like video games.

I know you got minorities to oppress.

I need a bad touch Krotchy.

I need an alternator for an 87 Duff **** you.

I need some steaks for the psychotic friends network barbecue.

I need to buy some napalm.

I need to take a ****

I regret nothing.

I suppose it would have been more politically correct to kill the women in the minorities first.

I think I'll need to keep an eye out for these folks there. Definitely hazardous to my health.

I'd like a hot #2 to go.

I'd like to cash this pitiful and embarrassing check please.

I'll follow you home and kill your dog.

I'm an equal opportunity lunatic.

I'm bored already.

I'm experiencing a sort of burning, itching, spewing kind of effect.

I'm here to pay for this trumped up addition to some highway patrolman's retirement fund.

I'm here to pick up my normal clothes.

I'm not kidding here.

I'm not racist. These people really do all look alike.

I'm really going to bust if I don't take a **** immediately.

I'm sorry, apparently I'm feeling a little psychotic this morning.

I'm sorry.

I've got a note that says there's a package for me.

I've got a note that says there's a package for me. Last names dude.

I've got stuff to do.

I've really gotta take a leak.

If you say so.

It's been a while since I last confessed, hope I can remember everything.

It's for my mother, I swear.

It's uncle dad.

Jimbo, Bob

Jobab, son of Billy Joe Bob.

Johnny Joe, Billy Jimbo Bob.

Johnny.

Just call me doctor euthanasia.

Just kidding.

Just sign the stupid petition.

Kevlar.

Last names dude.

Last names.

Let's see, yeah.

Little Johnny.

Look just sign the stupid petition. I've got stuff to do.

Man, what these game developers won't do for a buck. At least it's educational.

Maybe I should try to escape.

Medicare ain't covering that.

Mhmm!

Mommy.

More.

My bad.

My nads.

My president is Chuck Heston.

My president is Chuck Heston. Here's your rebate. It damn dirty apes.

My spleens poking out.

No jail can hold me.

No problem.

No problemo.

No, really does the sound of my voice get on your nerves? It bugs me sometimes.

No.

No.

None, right?

Not a chance.

Nothin' a coat of paint and some antibiotics can't cure.

Now I can't feel my legs.

Now I'm going to have to cure myself.

Now that's what I call welfare reform.

Now where is that?

Oh my God.

Oh my head.

Oh yeah, I gotta get that petition signed. Good thing I'm a people person.

Oh yeah.

Oh yeah.

Oh, I get it.

Oh, mommy.

OK, copper take me in.

OK.

Only my weapon understands me.

Oops.

Ow

Please don't think I'm a bigot.

Please don't think I'm a bigot. I kill races equally.

Really.

Right about now, I'll bet you feel pretty silly putting all that money into your IRA.

Shut up moron.

Sign my petition. Damn it.

Sign this petition or I’ll follow you home and kill your dog

Sissy

Slow roasted goodness.

Small slice of urine stained heaven with a little sodomy in the side.

Smells like chick in.

So like that's not going to get me into trouble.

So that's what that feels like.

Someone stole my Donuts and now you're all going to pay.

Someone stole my Donuts.

Sorry folks, the Bible backs me up on this one.

Sorry.

Sounds reasonable.

Stupid alternator.

Sure.

Surprise.

Sweet.

Thanks.

That can't be good.

That stuff really works.

That Viagra **** works.

That was bad of me, wasn't it?

That was impetuous of me

That's clearly wrong.

That's going to be sore tomorrow.

That's gotta hurt.

That's the ticket.

The **** you.

The Bible backs me up on this one.

The gene pool is stagnant and I am the Minister of Chlorine.

These better be damn fine steaks for all that ********

This is going to be sweet.

This is so humiliating.

This is surprisingly satisfying.

To dry.

To kill weeds in my lawn as far as you know.

Today's the first day of the end of your lives.

Ugh

Ugh

Uh.

Uh.

Uncle dad.

Usually this town is crawling with cops figures. They're gone when you finally need some.

Video games don't kill people I do.

Was that supposed to happen?

Well, I guess I don't have to pay now.

Well, those people didn't seem very happy with me at all. Better watch my ***

Well, who did thought that would happen?

What a bunch of fanboys

What For?

Where the hell am I?

Who?

Why does this not surprise me?

Wooo Inna Godda DaVita baby.

Would it be safe to say your family tree is a mobius loop?

Would you please sign my petition?

Yeah yeah blah blah just got me already big man.

Yeah yeah, blah blah.

Yeah, I feel like I'll get hepatitis if I touch anything in this ******* town.

Yeah, that's what they all say.

Yes.

Yes.

You ******* communist.

You go girl.

You gotta be ******* kidding.

You probably think I'm not a nice person.

You probably thought you weren't going to die today. Suprise!

Your mother.

-Gagging, retching-

-Pain Noise-

-Pain Sound-

-Pain Sound-

-Sigh-

'cause you're fugly?

****

****

**** **** **** ****

*****

***** can't even read.

*hmm*

*short laugh*

*short laugh*