South Park - Season 9 Edit

A a apparently they're going to call him New Pope,

A all right, come on, honey.

A and a fountain in our lobby.

A and refer to John Paul as P Pope Classic.

A beloved performing orca whale has been stolen from the Denver Sea Park.

A black person who can sacrifice himself in case something goes wrong.

A bunch of winners!

A Cardinal, Mallory, has been sent by the Vatican

A chance to go to the national circuit.

A child? This is God's solution?

A child's red hair is not determined by the lack of a soul,

A dolphin?!?!

A feeding tube?!

A feeding tube. It pumps a nutrient paste directly into Kenny's stomache.

A fifth point in a sports movie, the team always goes out and finds a really sweet player to join their team.

A full investigation is underway

A hundred dollar gift certificate to South Park Mall?

A Japanese boy did make it to level fifty nine.

A lot of people carry the ginger gene and don't know.

A lot of really cool people are Scientologists,

A lot of times parents call me in because I can relate to younger kids.

A media storm is about to hit you and you can't handle it on your own. Nobody can.

A new study?

A note? Let me see that.

A rapidly growing organization called The Ginger Separatist Movement is furious that the lead role of Annie

A tragic event is unfolding in South Park.

A what?

A woman was arrested for trying to bring food to the patient.

A world where everyone is ginger!

A young man. Basically, he he's like Keanu Reeves.

AAAAAAAAAAH NOO! Witches! You're all witches!

Aaaagh, I'm afraid it's true.

Aah I think you'd rather hear this in private!

Aah, you'd like that, wouldn't you?! I took care of this egg, Kyle, not you!

About, about serious issues! M'kay, let's let's stop the tomfoolery!

Abraham Lincoln has been dead for two hundred years!

Actually, gingervitus is the medical term.

Actually, our fountain is two stories tall.

Actually, our fountain is two stories tall.

Actually, the odds of us having a red haired freckled child were only one in four.

After everyone left the show I walked up to the glass and he started talking.

After witnessing the phenomenon firsthand, the pope then cleaned himself off

After witnessing the phenomenon firsthand, the pope then cleaned himself off

Agh, excuse me, Doctor, but it just so happens my mom loves me, no matter what I look like!

Ah ah! I know what you're thinking, Stan. You're thinking you're gonna tell Kyle.

Ah hi Nicole.

Ah I mean, look at us. What have we become?

Ah I will, Mom.

Ah Kenny, Token just signed with us!

Ah our client has an audition to this show.

Ah sick!

Ah, excuse me, who's in charge here?

Ah, gentlemen, thank you for coming.

Ah, here we go. See, I told you. If you're so caring, Kyle,

Ah, hey dad.

Ah, now, where were we?

Ah, she sing. She very popular in China.

Ah. Uhh. Could I hold that?

Aha! I knew it! Boys in the slumber party!

Aha! We've got them!

Ahah I have school tomorrow.

Ahh d, excuse me, sir, did I hear you say you needed somebody for your show?

Ahh yes, you are interested in my services.

Ahhh you like dolphins, hm?

Ahhh!!

Ahhhh!!

Alcoholism is a disease.

All along, I'm gonna make, make it right.

All around the country panic and chaos are settling in.

All I cared about was getting an A in this stupid project!

All I did is change my appearance to look the way I felt... here.

All I know is that I was depressed before

All **** carry gold in a little bag around their necks. Hand it over!

All right boys, now you're all here because you're the best of the best.

All right Jimmy, when she finally shuts her trap again,

All right kids, all right kids, that's enough!

All right now, I'm just gonna ask you a few questions.

All right, all right. That's enough, kids.

All right, but... you're gonna have to take certain precautions now.

All right, Butters, I'm going in alone, first.

All right, Butters, just try to relax.

All right, Butters, that's Heidi's house.

All right, Butters, you leave me no choice.

All right, children, it looks like we have no more contestants,

All right, come on, Butters,

All right, come on, I'll drive you guys home.

All right, come on! Let's play ball!

All right, Denver! You're up to bat now!

All right, everyone listen up! The hippie jam band festival is now 14 miles in diameter

All right, fine. But now listen up and listen good!

All right, folks. Let's let Butters get some rest.

All right, gentlemen, our containment center for the timewall is nearly complete.

All right, give it to me. I'll take it home tonight.

All right, go ahead and tell him.

All right, have a nice time, girls

All right, have a seat, Marjorine,

All right, hit one out of the park!

All right, I can't take it anymore! I'm getting on that stage!

All right, I'll help you!

All right, in you go.

All right, Kenny, let me show you what we're up against.

All right, Kenny, let's go!

All right, let's do it.

All right, let's eat Colonel!

All right, let's go.

All right, look, there's gotta be other Third World countries with space programs.

All right, ma'am. We've got your new toilet installed and we'll haul away the old one away for ya.

All right, move in!

All right, Mr. Nelson, let's go, come on.

All right, now I want you to hold your arms out at your sides...

All right, now we all want you to have a good time.

All right, our client will do it!

All right, out of the truck!

All right, people, it's obvious we're dealing with a highly intelligent animal rights group.

All right, people, let's save it! They still have a long way to go!

All right, people, we can move onto issue number 14B.

All right, Stan, I want you to just relax

All right, Stan. Sure.

All right, that's lunch, kids.

All right, then let's begin.

All right, then we just need a black person who can sacrifice himself in case something goes wrong.

All right, welcome to Hippie Jam Fest 2005!

All right, what the hell is going on here?!

All right, when she stops yappin' again,

All right, you got a place to go?

All right, you guys get back to the office, I'll bring Token there.

All right!

All right!

All right!

All right!

All right!

All right! Come on!

All right! I I keep getting an erection for no reason! Okay!

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right. In order to make our plan work.

All right. Thanks for your help, dudes.

All right. Then let's just ignore him.

All right. Well, there's pizza in the fridge if you and your friends get hungry.

All she has to do is go on the show, do all the performing, make all the money,

All students trying out for the All State team to center court!

All that leaves is you, Butters.

All that time and effort we spent helping Token and this is the thanks we get?!

All that's left for us to do is get the device from the girls and bring it here.

All the commands you make will be sent to the troops down on the battlefield.

All the other teams are worse than us.

All the other times were still funny, Mike!

All the top Colorado geologists have gathered at the governor's office for an emergency meeting.

All these people are just like you, Stan, auditing with E meters

All this violence and anger and, and for what?

All top agencies have fountains in their lobbies.

All we can do is try to wait it out, as long as we can.

All we need to do now is ...stuff the ...unskinned penis inside your... pelvis...

All you have to do is make it to Friday with your egg unharmed to prove what great little parents you are.

All you have to do is play the game, Kenny. Only this time, It's for reals.

Almost every boy goes through a phase where his penisbecomes hard... for no particular reason.

Almost too easy.

Almost... trapped in here, if you will.

Along with me I'm gonna need a scientest, an engineer, and of course,

Along with me I'm gonna need a scientest, an engineer, and of course,

Already we're reporting that the death toll here in Chicago is over six hundred billion people.

Alright come on both of you. We've got to pull together every warm piece of clothing we can find.

Alright guys, listen up!

Alright, get my wheelchair out of the back.

Alright... then you drive!

Am I a man yet?

Am I doomed to wander the Earth alone for all eternity?!

Amazing, doctor! You've revived somebody who's been legally dead for almost a day!

An alien reason.

An incredible development here, Tom.

An unholy demon spawn!

An update from the bleeding Virgin Mary statue!

And 5 000 hippies thick.

And a new study has just been concluded which will give me the ability to take no personal responsibility in this decision.

And after it's all done sneezin' milk. The penis stops bein' hard,

And all floated up towards the sky.

And Bebe said you were so reckless with your egg, so I made a fake one for you

And besides, her mother told me that she works as a state official and that I should ... respect her authroitay.

And best of all, I wrote that all the Scientologists

And burn down your house! Do you hear me?!

And Cartman egged me on, and I crashed it into the Beaverton dam.

And don't be late.

And dumped them into the volcanoes of Hawaii.

And even if I don't succeed, and it's a million to one shot that I will,

And everyone is happy!

And fighting out of the blue corner, wearing a gorgeous floral pattern silk dress, Wing!

And first up for Fort Collins is... Morgan Pratt.

And for doing it he's gonna be paid 200 dollars.

And for some reason, my spirit is trapped here on Earth.

And for those of you just joining us, this is the stingray tank.

And getting more involved with my relationship with God is

And give each couple... an egg

And got busted by the feds numerous times.

And having them believe you?!

And he has to watch me drive mine around the school parking lot and get super jealous!

And he needs our help getting him home.

And he shall be remembered as the peaceful little boy who warmed his parent's hearts.

And how could I become a ginger now?! I wasn't born like this!

And I broke the dam.

And I get to drive it around in the school parking lot.

And I think maybe you're the only person who won't make f f fun of me.

And I thought YOU were smart enough to see what was really going on!

And I wrote that the evil Lord Xenu

And I'll be nearby, secretly telling you all the right things to say.

And I'll just get a base reading of your thetan levels.

And I'm gonna have you sued for malpractice, and your clinic shut down!!

And I'm gonna hold it up in front of Wendy, and say "See?! I'm every bit as good as Kyle is."

And I'm gonna show everybody tomorrow that I'm every bit as good a egg take care ofer as you!

And I'm ready to take you back, Mr. Slave!

And I'm really turning my life around.

And I'm telling you now that if we don't let Kyle do the same, he may never be happy. Ever!

And if he really feels bad he can just tell me himself!

And if it seems like you need some help

And if not, we'll certainly prove a point to that goddamned Govermor, won't we?

And if there's one thing I've learned, is that the only way to fight hate, is with more hate!

And if you kill your baby, you get an F.

And it will be funny again, I swear to you!

And it's deadly.

And just like with most diseases, you can't cure it yourself.

And just roll with it if they start lezzing out.

And Kenny said he didn't want to live like this!

And Kenny told me specifically that he would never want to be kept alive on a machine.

And kept the original safe with me.

And leave the rest to us.

And never drive the car drunk again.

And now as a special treat,

And now I found meaning!

And now I'll use the skin from your penis to make vaginal lips.

And now I'm gonna be fighting in a State Championship game.

And now touch your finger to your nose.

And now we have Eric Cartman,

And now you're all blaming crab people for something that's very simple.

And now, Jambu is going to going to give you all a big wave!

And now, John Travolta in the closet too.

And now, Kelly's gonna show us how she makes Jambu do his tricks.

And one night, when you're all sleepin' in your room, the gingers are gonna getcha.

And pretending to be ginger with makeup is the worst thing anybody can do!

And put them in this box anonymously so we could discuss in class, m'kay?

And Satan's armies are approaching.

And say "That's the bad guy!"

And she's now my only shot at getting laid,

And so he built giant soul catchers in the sky!

And so he rounded up countless aliens from all different planets

And so I pull out my gun!

And so I'd like you to help me welcome a new student who has just moved here from Dallas.

And so we just try to analyze your personality

And so, I should get an F, and she should get an A,

And so, if you like, we can take off our shirts and kiss.

And so, red hair, light skin, and freckles are all passed down genetically.

And so, they can have a surgery that makes them more into the person they see themselves as.

And so, we must gather together every child who is NOT ginger, and exterminate them!

And still it happened. Three times.

And take hold of the E meter handles.

And talk about how pathetic I am?

And ten percent of two hundred is...

And ten thousand dollars cash.

And ten thousand dollars cash.

And the best fourth grade players from Wyoming.

And the man loses interest in the lady.

And the pope said quote:

And the rest of the country?

And the talent show is only a couple of hours from being over.

And then declared that the bleeding Virgin Mary statue is not a miracle!

And then declared that the bleeding Virgin Mary statue is not a miracle!

And then follow it with: "Wow, how insightful."

And then had those aliens frozen.

And then it stops being hard?

And then let you know some things about Scientology.

And then made into chili which I fed to the kid.

And then together, we can tear it all down.

And then what? Hide forever from the government?

And then you gotta make her thnk you're a good listener.

And then, turning your life over to that God.

And there are your finalists, the sixteen most beautiful women in Colorado.

And there is only one way for us, all together, to make that messeage very clear!

And there's no one else!

And threatened to kill all the workers inside.

And Tom Cruise locked himself in the closet.

And Tom Cruise still will not come out of the closet.

And turn your life over to that god and ask him for forgiveness.

And uh, oh, I... I can't do this.

And unless we work to rid the earth of that curse, the gingers could envelop our lives in blackness for all time.

And we finish it off with a nice peniplasty to enhance the genitalia.

And we must view the rest of the world as the lowlife, dark skinned rats that they are!

And we shouldn't be threatened by those differences

And we wanted to see it for ourselves and come and pray.

And we'll be able to determine your thetan levels.

And we'll get your fun free personality test started.

And we'll just take this egg for Stan and Kyle to look out for.

And we'reg onna start right now.

And what are you gonna do, huh?! I've got four feet on you AND a gun!

And what did Judas do? Oh, he just got Jesus killed, that's all.

And what does she do?

And will now read some passages before making

And wrote down whatever came to mind.

And you and I together will make three million dollars!

And you are gay."

And you need to just end this and come out.

And your scrotum has been made into a dorsal fin for a man who wanted to look more like a dolphin.

And, Wendy? Wendy will be with Kyle.

And, y you can't just go around saying stuff like that to people like my dad.

And... Scientology is just a big fat global scam.

Animal Liberation Front!

Annie, you'll be a family with Timmy.

Announcing the arrival of flight six seven three, from New York City.

Another rich American wants to fly into space!

Any luck here?

Any word on how the survivors in the town are doing, Mitch?

Any word on how the survivors in the town are doing, Mitch?

Anybody have a piece of notebook paper so I can make another one?

Anyone have anything they wanna tell the groups, for starters?

Anyone?

Anything that's fun costs at least eight dollars.

Anyway, why don't you come down to the office, Token? Maybe I can convince the company to represent you.

Apparently there was so much chicken skin in the system it just ruptured the insides.

Apparently, some blessed child has done our work for us.

Appeal to the Governor? Oh,come on! Where's your balls?! Fag drag!

Archangel Michael, what say you?

Are actually caused by things called "body thetans."

Are actually from a galaxy called Nubanon.

Are we clear?!

Are we in trouble or something?

Are we sure about this? We'll never know the future.

Are you all right? You're sweating!

Are you guys nuts?! After everything we've gone through?!

Are you in?

Are you Jakartha?

Are you ready to hear the truth?

Are you serious??

Are you serious?? We never heard that.

Are you stupid, Uriel? Japanese people don't have souls!

Are you suggesting we shut down the economy?

Are you sure you didn't break it and switch eggs on me?! Where's my signature?!

Are you sure you're all right?

As a matter of fact,... I think it is the nicest hat I've ever known

As long as you live...

As most of you know I once lost my job and my family because of my drinking.

As news of the miracle spreads, hundreds are expected to show up here at the church

As people on both sides of the argument vie for media attention.

As Pope Benedict made his way through the throngs of people.

As some of you know, my biggest issue with gay marriage regards child rearing.

As the statue of the Virgin Mary continues to miraculously cry blood...

As you can see, we are quite a successful company.

Asians don't carry the recessive gene.

Ask it if the Broncos are gonna win on Sunday.

At first I thought maybe it was just a coincidence.

At first, nobody knew what caused the dam to break.

At the dawn of man

At Whistlin' Willy's Pizza, so you can come with me.

At who?

Atone?

Attaway, South Park! They ain't swingin' at nothin'!

Aw aw guys, come on!

Aw crap, Chinese Mafia!

Aw crap!

Aw crap.

Aw damnit!

Aw dangit!

Aw dude, I need to go to bed.

Aw gee, she's really upset.

Aw God, I'm so borrred.

Aw Goddamnit!

Aw J j j j...j Jesus!

Aw Jesus, not again.

Aw Jesus!

Aw man, I got a crappy AJ Feeley again!

Aw man, that's too bad, Token.

Aw man, this is awesome! Weeeee!

Aw rats.

Aw spit!

Aw, Jesus!

Aw, just forget it!

Aw, nasty! Yuck!

Awesome

Aww crap!

Aww sick! Gross!

Aww, crap!

Aww, it's all warm!

Aww, that's okay, Eric.

Aww, that's too bad.

Aww, that's tragic.

Awwright, kids, we've gotta work on that shooting! Come on!

Awwww.

B L U E. All right, pick another color.

Back down the ramp! It's all rigged to go!

Back o'the line, butter!

Back then there was a galactinc federation of planets

Back to you, Tom.

Ball four!

Ball four!

Ball!

Ball. Balll.

Bartender! I need a drink!

Basically, Kenny, you... are Keanu Reeves.

Basically, yes.

Bat Dad knows no fear! Bat Dad knows no pain!

Be at this address tomorrow 2 p.m. sharp.

Be good and be safe. Goodbye...

Beaverton has only a population of about eight thousand, Tom, so this would be quite devastating.

Bebe, you're paired up with Stan.

Because God is intending to use that soul for a divine purpose,

Because he's a fat racist self centered intolerant manipulating sociopath!

Because I do, Clyde.

Because I got a DUI and so I'm required to attend AA meetings for two weeks.

Because I really wanna stick my penis in your vagina.

Because I'll answer and pretend I'm talking to somebody super famous and important.

Because I'm a nice teacher, all right?

Because I'm scared, all right?!

Because I've already used your testicles to fashion new knees for a little boy who wanted to be tall and black.

Because if those people all think you're the reincarnation of L. Ron Hubbard

Because my family is like, Catholic or something.

Because now he's acting like gingers are awesome. And all his friends are gingers.

Because their skin is so light, ginger kids must avoid the sun.

Because they're too much like Xenu's evil cruisers.

Because who wants a purse that both their best friends have, right? And so

Because YOU won't come out of the closet!

Because YOU won't come out of the closet!

Because you're the governor?

Because, Butters,

Because, I don't want everyone knowing, okay?

Because.. I know what did cause the flood.

Being dead for that long caused severe damage to his brain.

Believe it or not, dozens of people have come to show support for whoever took the whale.

Believe it! The girls can ask it any question they want and it gives them an answer.

Believe just about anything.

Believe what?

Believing that only a higher power, God, makes you stop drinking.

Best friends forever?

Better red than dead!

Black or white, brown or red, we shouldn't kill each other, 'cause dying's lame

Black or white, brown or red, we shouldn't kill each other, 'cause it's lame. Come on, guys!

Blue.

Boats don't have parking brakes, dumbass. They only have... oh wait, wait, neutral button!

Boy oh boy, Eric, you've got a lot to atone for.

Boy this lemonade is great! Who knew how fun being sober could be?!

Boy, men will do just about anything to get a look at our tits, won't they?

Boy, that was great, wasn't it?!

Boy, we sure did.

Boy, you really beat the crap out of that Conifer dad.

Boys I want to thank you for coming down to my office on such short notice.

Boys, I'm really proud of you You've done an amazing thing for gay marriage rights.

Boys, thank you so much for eveything.

Brah, I'm not gonna argue with you, all right? Just go with it.

Brain cells cannot be repaied once dead.

Break it up! Break it up!

Breaking news here in South Park.

Brian, could you come over here a second?

Brian's gonna give you your personality test

Bring him back? Why... What are you talking about?

Brint it on Wing!

Broflovski, be ready to take over for Owens.

Broke fence...

Broken dreams and no ice creams

Buddy, my man, what is up?!

But as Heidi's parents, tonight it is our responsibility to look out for all of you.

But at least from now on, every time we look at the moon

But by the melanins which control the pigment in all of our skins. Thank you.

But Dr, Biber told me that there are a lot of other people out there who are transpecies.

But everyone wants you out the closet.

But first, we're going to hear from a motivational speaker.

But his soul is still in here.

But I can't contain them on my own anymore. We have to do something, fast!

But I can't get any of the girls here to let me... do it to them.

But I don't know any of this stuff.

But I don't want to see you!

But I feel like a basketball player. That's all I wanna do.

But I guess everything will be decided on the playing field.

But I have to make it stop! The talent show is this F Friday.

But I hope that you children take a moment today to congratulate Token for being so special.

But I made that egg. Mr. Garrison, please. Youyou can't give my egg to Stan, he'll break it.

But I paid five thousand dollars to be a woman. This would mean I I'm not really a woman.

But I put my faith in a higher power and I haven't had a drink for five days now!

But I saw him! Just as plain as I'm seein' you right now!

But I'm being joined now by famous singer/songwriter R. Kelly.

But I'm completely miserable and these people can help!

But I'm gay! I don't like vaginas!

But I'm very upset!

But I've been livin' it up ever since, havin' sex with all kinds of different guys!

But if I don't give myself up to a higher power, this disease is going to kill me dead.

But if one of us pretends to be the new girl in class, the girls will wonder where that boy went.

But if they all start, you know, lezzing out, just roll with it.

But if you wanna go make love to the whale, that's fine.

But if you're d dead, how come I can see you?

But instead of refering to you as "maarriied," you can be... butt buddies.

But it's... it's not true they... have no souls.

But Jimmy, you love talent shows. Everyone in town knows that.

But knowing that Hell was becoming much larger, God decided to let more people cross over

But learning to drink a little bit, responsibly, that'sa disciprine.

But Mom, we've been waiting for hours!

But now the right thing to do isn't using it ourselves, then we're no better than they are.

But now, if you guys can't accept

But now, shocking new evidence has indicated that the flood in Beaverton was caused by... Global warming!

But now, you shouldn't think you're crazy, young man. I see ghosts all the time.

But our teacher, Mr. Garrison? He just had his penis made into a vagina. How come?

But rather, from her vagina.

But some of those Division Two dads are tough!

But thanks to you people, my dad now thinks he has a disease that he can't cure himself.

But the evil Lord Xenu had prepared for this.

But the fact is no statistical proof has ever been confirmed that global warming exists.

But the statue wasn't a miracle!

But the talent show is tomorrow night!

But the talent show is tomorrow!

But then I calm myself down and I pull out my gun!

But then, why me?

But they're trapped now and nobody's helping them.

But this disease is just eating me up! I hate my illness!

But this is a scam on a global scale!

But this just doesn't seem right.

But Tom Cruise won't come out of the closet.

But tracking down the kidnappers is proving to be one WHALE of a problem.

But we all must try to move on

But we know it's something you might have a hard time talking about.

But we're reporting that there's looting, raping, and yes, even acts of canibalism.

But we're wrong, for the right reasons.

But we've been out of town for a couple of days and came back to find the fence broken.

But what about Mr. Garrison? He can't go back.

But when they get here, they become our slaves.

But where am I going to find a lady to stick my penis in?

But who?

But with the help of AA I've been sober for ten years now.

But you come any closer and I'll blow her brains out.

But you have to take Stan to his Little League game alone.

But you just said they should all die fifteen seconds ago

But you need to understand: we have a whale here that needs to get back to his family on the moon.

But you really have.

But you said that there were...

But you're okay, I guess.

But, I don't knnow if I'm really an alcoholic.

But, if you had such a study, a scientific study which proved same sex couples are incapable of raising a child...

But, maybe... I'm just the kind of person who needs to have it all or nothing.

But, well, your son wanted me to tell you something.

But.. we need supplies food, silicone.

But... it's me.

But... sometimes we want to know the answers so badly that we...

But... that's not natural. God intended Kenny to die! What are these people doing?!

But... we were so close...

But... you are one messed up kid.

But... you just said everyone who isn't ginger must die.

But... your name was L. Ron Hubbard.

Butters was trying to tell me something outside the house. That this device is nothing but trouble.

Butters, ah I really need to talk to somebody,

Butters, do you know what you're supposed to do when your penis gets hard?

Butters, Goddamnit, I'm not in your imagination!

Butters, I just want to talk to you!

Butters, I think that, through this whole thing, we've really become friends.

Butters, I'm sorry if I ever did anything to hurt you.

Butters, if anything happens to Mommy, I, I want you to be a good boy.

Butters, these things happen all the time.

Butters, what is going on?!

Butters, what on earth are you doing??

Butters, you have to help me!

Butters!

Butters!

Butters!

Butters! Butters, Goddamnit, I need your help!

Butters! Just what the fuck do you think you're doing?!

Butters! What have you done?!

Butters! You can see me??

Butters? Butters, whatever is troubling you, this isn't the answer!

Butters?!

Butters...

Butters...

By a great man named L. Ron Hubbard.

By now the global warming has shifted the climate, bringing on a new ice age.

C can I just get 2 back, please?

Call the parents. They're going to be shocked to find out...

Can anybody hear me?

Can I ask you a few questions?

Can I at least come in and talk to you?

Can I get a Red Power?

Can I have 3000$ ? Mom and Dad, huh?? Can I??

Can I help you?

Can I please just have somethin' to eat? Well I'm pretty hungry.

Can I start you out with some lotsa pasta macaroni minis?

Can I talk to you?!

Can we talk to you for a minute?

Can you believe it ladies? I'm one of YOU now!

Can you believe it Stan? I never thought global warming could happen so fast. I guess... I didn't listen.

Can you believe it, boys?! We're playing in the State Championship Game!

Can you believe it, Stan? State Championship game.

Can you come on the date and help me? You're like a white... Hitch.

Can you guys meet me over at Cartman's house tonight at around midnight?

Can you imagine?

Can you see anything?

Can't I just have some Spaghetti O's??

Can't say that I blame ya. That egg has caused me nothin' but problems since day one!

Can't we talk more? Please?

Can't. Talk. Any. More.

Cartman ?

Cartman flooded Beaverton?!

Cartman is NOT Kenny's BFF!

Cartman isn't our friend anymor

Cartman, what the hell are you doing?!

Cartman, you ate the skin off of every piece of chicken!

CARTMAN!

Cartman! I need to tell you something!

Cartman?

Cartman?

Cartman. We aren't gonna be hippies anymore. Y you don't have to kill us.

Cartman's side is right, for the wrong reasons.

Certain hormones start to release as your whole reproductive system begins to awaken,

Certainly. Come in.

Children, children, we have a very special announcement.

Children, please say hello to... Marjorine.

Ching ga wai pan!

Chris, will you sit down?

Clyde, can't you feel me? Feel me, Clyde!

Clyde? What is it, honey??

Coach! Coach, I'm all better. I'm ready to play.

Colfax Point...

Colfax Point...

Colorado, home of the world's largest beaver dam.

Come on Fort Collins! This team can't pitch!

Come on guys. If we all help out, we can do it super fast.

Come on in the auditing room and I'll show you how it works.

Come on out, kid.

Come on over here and I'll fill you

Come on over this way, Token.

Come on people, we're running out of time. We need all army helicopters to the southern states for evacuation now!

Come on, Alan! This pitcher throws like a girl!

Come on, Bebe. We'll take your egg for you and Wendy to look after.

Come on, buddy, let's go!

Come on, Butters.

Come on, class, let's rip on the freek egg! Two daaadies! Two daaadies!

Come on, come on!

Come on, Dad! Get up!

Come on, Denver!

Come on, Denver!

Come on, everybody! Let's get some queers, and some trucks, and have us a good old fashioned fag drag!

Come on, everybody. I think Kenny wants to be left alone.

Come on, Fort Collins! Let 'em have it! Yeah!

Come on, guys, let's leave Kyle with his stupid whale.

Come on, guys!

Come on, ho!

Come on, hurry!

Come on, kid, you gotta at least swing at it.

Come on, let's fulfill the plan! All non gingers must die!

Come on, let's go! I'm right here!

Come on, Mr. Crusie, this is ridiculous.

Come on, Mr. Slave, I wanna try out my new snootch.

Come on, South Park! These kids can't play!

Come on, Stan! Just strike this kid out so we can end the season!

Come on, Token, we have a lot to talk about.

Come on, we gotta go check on him

Come on, we've got to board up that last window. Seal up all the doorways.

Come on!

Come on!

Come on! You gotta check it out!

Come on. Don't watch it feed.

Come out of the closet, Tom.

Come! There is much to discuss

Comrades, I'm afraid our situation is dire.

Congratulations, boys! You're goin' on to the post season.

Congratulations.

Cool! It worked! Hey, Jambu.

Cool!Okay, my turn, my turn! Do me now!

Could we please just keep this to ourselves?

Could you... get rid of them for us now?

Counseling for a nominal fee.

Crab people.. crab people..

Craig, Token, get the slings ready.

Cream these turds!

Creep!

Crisis and fear tonight, as what appears to be a massive flood has overtaken the town of Beaverton,

Cult? Scientology isn't a cult, Kyle.

Cure... cure disease. STAN!

D don't you see?

D'you know what you are?

Dad, aren't you supposed to like, not drink and drive?

Dad, Dad, Stop!

Dad, isn't it possible the flood wasn't caused by global warming? I mean, the water was held back by a giant beaver dam after all.

Dad, it's the middle of the day!

Dad, let's just wait our turn.

Dad, we we're trapped in Beaverton, we were trying to save everyone.

Dad, we're going back!

Dad, we're gonna crash!

Dad, weren't you watching?

Dad, what are you doing in Grandpa's extra wheelchair?!

Dad, you can't drive! Your license is suspended, remember?!

Dad, you don't have to do this!

Dad, you just need to not drink so much. It's very simple.

Dad, you like to drink. So have a drink once in a while. Have two.

Dad, you're drunk! You're not driving a car!

Dad, you've had enough! Just stop now!

Dad!

Dad!

Dad! Tom Cruise won't come out of the closet!

Dad! What the hell are you doing?!

Dad? Dad, we need to talk.

Dad? Where the hell could he have gone?

Dad?! Dad, what are you doing?!

Daddy's very sick.

Damn, CAA is pretty impressive.

Damn, CAA is pretty impressive.

Damn, Ken!

Damnit you people have to make special arrangements for transpecies people like me!

Damnit, damnit! Stan and Kyle's egg is still doin' fine!

Damnit, is there not one serious question in here?!

Damnit! I knew you'd say that! You always have it out for me!

Damnit! Tell me what to do, Willzyx!

Day five. I made it! Hello?

Daywalker !

Daywalker !

Dead and... still wandering the earth a lost soul.

Dead people?

Dead.

Definitely yes!

Demon Army, begin your march on Heaven!

Denver sucks ass!

Did you ever do anything really bad?

Did you notice the fountain?

Did you tell anyone else about this?

Did you tell your egg partner, Heidi?

Difficult questions you had

Disciprine... come from within.

Disqualified?

Do any of you guys have milk money I can borrow?

Do I look like a woman?

Do me next. I wanna know if I'm gonna marry somebody cute

Do not cross the Bat Daaad!

Do not fear, my Lord. Your army is great!

Do what?

Do you believe me now?

Do you ever make remarks... which you later regret?

Do you ever whistle... just for the fun of it.

Do you fucking get me now?!

Do you know any red haired, freckled kids?

Do you like steak, Token? I know a great place for you locally.

Do you mind if I take a quick look around your house? I'm afraid you may have hippies.

Do you really think the girls are just gonna hand that technology over?

Do you think I'm stupid?

Do you think somebody's been using it?

Do you think this is funny,..?

Do you wanna play rough?! Okay!

Do you want a bike, or do you not want to be depressed?

Doctor Lindsay, expert in the paranormal. She can tell us what to do!

Doctor! Doctor, we have a pulse!

Doctrine of life behind Scientology?

Does that mean we're friends?

Does the Mexican space programs have rockets that can go to the moon?

Does this mean... you have to go now?

Doin' just fine, Butters.

Doing community service work at schools like these.

Don Heisman, Creative Arts Agency in Los Angeles.

Don't be a fag! Come on, we can make it. We have to try!

Don't be a fool, Craig.

Don't be sad, Butters.

Don't be sad, Butters. What awaits each person in heaven is eternal bliss, divine rest,

Don't blame the mayor, Sharon. What about FEMA? I think this whole thing is really their fault.