South Park - Season 13 Edit

A 50% rise each year means that in three years

A baby you aborted many years ago survived,

A bj ?

A bj in the parking lot of t.g.i. friday's.

A bunch of assholes on their Harley motorcycles show up?

A chicken...

A colorado boy and his father have set a new record

A coon.

A crab fishing reality show.

A fine day of plunderin' we had, boys.

A five dollar bill. all for you.

A gay fish ?

A gay fish ? what are you, a gay fish ?

A ghost that enters and then refuses to leave a living host

A girl at school, she queefed on

A guy in a BMW runs the red light

A ha, kenny !

A life without rules, without homework and chores !

A little boy in colorado appears to be haunted by celebrities

A little gassy. excuse me.

A little sunshine.

A living image of independence!

A lot of boys will pay to kiss my employees!

A lot of people wouldn't work with someone

A male that likes fish dicks.

A man will leave his father and mother

A meager living gathering firewood."

A member of the school who could act like one of the Smurfs

A minute ago you said you did it all yourself !

A new movement in South Park

A nice christian symbol

A parade was held for the winners earlier today.

A pool around the floor now.

A problem for a minute there ha ha.

A purity ring.

A raging whore, i'd want you to tell me

A really smart decision, young man

A ring that says you'll be together

A round of grog for everyone !

A round of grog for me boys.

A Socialist dung hole.

A stand up tour, where did you have time

A symbol that everyone who's sick of crime

A trail of some kind behind both of us.

A warm, moist sensation that's moving down my left thigh.

A woman being ****d.

A young jew was in the town square

Aaaand it's gone !

Aah!

Aah!

Aah!

Aah!

Aah! Aah!

Aah! Aah!

Aah! Aah!

Abandoned when I was four years old by my parents,

About all these things I've said, Butters.

About how our school president never does anything

About not wearing the purity rings ha ha.

About one of the girls here at the school.

About something a lot deeper.

About stupid ass whales!

About stupid ass whales."

About the japanese slaughtering whales.

About the ordinance, fag.

About the state of our school's economy.

About you killing whales.

About your first contact with alien life.

About your purity rings.

Accepted me as one of their own.

Actually it belongs to general disarray's grandma,

Actually it was potato chips.

Add another for people who do but don't admit it,

Admit that you lied about me to Irene!

Admit you just want to be on tv.

Adore it.

After everything we've been through ?!

After the way you treated me!

After they go to the bathroom?

After they go to the bathroom.

Again.

Against his school.

Agh !

Agh !

Agh !

Agh...

Aghgh !

Aghghgh...

Ah, excellent !

Ah, good, a hostage will bring a fine ransom !

Ah, mysterion, thank god you've come.

Ah, nice !

Ahem. does anyone need medical help?

Ahggh !

Ahggh ! wahgghghh !

Ahgghgh !

Ahgghghghgghghghgh !

Ahgh! You obdurate beasts!

Ahghg !!

Ahghg! ahghggh!

Ahghggh, ow !

Ahghgghghghghgh !

Ahghgh !

Ahghgh !

Ahghghggh!

Ahghghgghgh !

Ahghghgghh ! ahghghgghh ! ahghghgghh !

Ahghghgh !!

Ahghghghggh !

Ahghghghggh !

Ahh !

Ahh !

Ahh !

Ahh, stop it, you little butthole !

Ahh! oh! ahh!

Ahhh ahh !

Ahp ahp ahp, that's my seat, craig.

Alien ?

All forms for the school book drive

All hands on deck !"

All he needs is the official pinewood derby kit.

All i can hope is jimmy doesn't try to jew me over.

All I do is try to help run student council.

All knowing entity.

All of finland gone !

All on your own ?

All over the country!

All races all ages and ethnic groups

All right !

All right ! all right !

All right next, please.

All right, all right, all right, look, chaos.

All right, all right, kenny, calm down.

All right, bitch?

All right, car weighs in at 15 ounces.

All right, chaos, i'm gonna get the triggers

All right, come on, guys !

All right, come on, guys.

All right, doctor.

All right, enough with the queefing !

All right, everyone, eat up.

All right, fine, look,

All right, goddamn it,

All right, here we go.

All right, how about a freebie?

All right, kids, are you ready ?

All right, lads !

All right, lads, guess we'll have to settle

All right, let's get the cash put into boxes.

All right, let's go! !

All right, listen, you have five seconds to leave

All right, me' hearties !

All right, men, check the ship !

All right, men, remember, do not hit the white ones !

All right, now could you just point

All right, now get out there

All right, queef sisters,

All right, right this way, girls.

All right, see you after school,

All right, seriously, you guys,

All right, so here's how we'll do this, guys.

All right, so you say a little boy is seeing the ghost?

All right, son, now you just paint the racing stripe

All right, stan, we're gonna need to check in

All right, stop it !

All right, tell me exactly where the line is !

All right, that does it !

All right, that's 2.8 centimeters.

All right, that's it then.

All right, things are pretty quiet out there, boys.

All right, whoever is thinking of betraying kyle,

All right, ya' scallywags !

All right, ye' booty lubbers !

All right, you got him, son !

All right, you guys, we gotta get rid of finland.

All right, you ready?

All right, young man, good luck today.

All students in band or choir

All thanks to a father and son who broke the warp barrier

All the dolphins you will be encountering today

All the fifth graders call her a slut

All the homework ? the rules ?

All the space cash for yourselves.

All the women suddenly think that...

All these dead celebrities are sitting on that plane,

All they do is queef all the time !

All this frivolous spending they were mocking the economy.

All this time i've been mad at you jimmy

All those times you tricked me into meeting you

All those times you've stopped me from my acts of evil,

All we did was talk about what colors to make

All you kids out there,

All: A Socialist dung hole...

All: aye!

All: Backyard wrestling!

All: Huh?

All: I pledge allegiance to the flag...

All: Oh, my god, oh, my god, oh my god!

All: Oh, my god, oh, my god!

All: Oh, my god, oh, my god! Oh, my god, oh, my god!

All: Ohh!

All: Ohh!

All: Ooh!

All: wow!

All: yeah!

All: Yeah!

All: Yeah!

All: Yeah!

All: Yeah! Yeah, we can ask.

Alright just run with me on this, eric.

Alright so check it out,

Alright that does it !

Alright what do we know about fishsticks...

Alright, hey how we all feeling tonight...

Alright, recently...

Alright, well maybe i can help you.

Always makes me need to pee.

Am i making things uncomfortable for you, stan?

An economic crisis has hit south park

An entire army of jew robots !

An entrepreneur.

Anal will cost you extra.

And a cow.

And a pi pi will a pull you back a to the surface.

And all i keep thinking is why me?

And all i want in return

And all its puny inhabitants and all that,

And all of you goodie two shoe heroes.

And all our lives to saving these majestic creatures.

And already offers for commercials

And also what kind of corporate tax

And although Gordon Stoltski can never be replaced, mm kay,

And and if i had wheels, i'd be a wagon.

And anyone who hasn't kissed a girl by fourth grade

And anyway, nobody except that little freak

And are demanding 10 million euros

And as his lawyer, i advise you gentlemen to leave

And avoid people who swear or watch naughty tv shows.

And baffled over the theft

And be boring and lame when we reach our late 30s

And be recognized by the living as what it always tried to be.

And be sure to give a ring to all the kids you care about

And be united to his wife

And because I'm brave enough to ask questions,

And besides that, who actually voted for Wendy Testaburger?

And besides, i have this strange feeling

And blow him up with the hospital.

And call it something else!

And calling you pathetic faggots.

And cartman just laid on the couch eating twizzlers.

And cleans out the garbage.

And cut !

And defend yourself?

And dilapidated bars.

And discovered warp speed.

And do what we know needs to be done!

And do you know why ?

And does he really have the right ?"

And doing her nails with her sisters.

And endorsement deals

And even though the plane isn't taking off,

And even though we now know that the shooter had him confused

And even when the light turns red,

And ever since then, us comedians

And everybody was like, "what is that?"

And everyone who did is now scratching their heads

And find yourself a way to make money.

And freedom!

And fuck you, dolphin!

And gave mexico some aid.

And get his off at purgatory

And get to the bottom of it.

And get to the bottom of this,

And go up and down the streets ruining everyone's nice time?

And going around telling people to shop is dangerous.

And going, "Whoops, guess I shouldn't have done that."

And gorton's fishermen, to do commercials !

And grand theft auto: chinatown wars

And had to spend a night in jail.

And have our car inspected to qualify.

And he checked some of that baggage in,

And he needs you guys right now more than anybody.

And he was a is a abuduh abdudh...

And he'll leave us alone !

And he's here now.

And he's not fat at all !

And held my head under the covers ?!

And help the children change the meaning of the word

And here they come.

And here's some of our evil minions !

And his aids benefit here before ?

And his words are in a book

And hits me over the head with the foldaway chair.

And hoarded it for themselves,

And hopefully I'll be the kid with the job.

And how she's changing everything.

And how we... don't approve of things

And I am Eric Cartman.

And I am hereby making you the student body president.

And i appear to be the last of my species alive.

And I can teach kids what real wrassling is!

And i can't do anything about it, so just keep quiet.

And i cannot just sit and watch

And i don't know if i can.

And I don't know if we can get it back.

And I guess you can't be blamed for that.

And i had grand theft auto: chinatown wars

And i hook them up with investors who want to

And I hope you don't take offense to it.

And I shared with them stories of my country's forefathers.

And i sure as hell ain't no fish, alright ?

And i think i know just who to call.

And I think that together we can come up with a way

And I, again, am alone.

And I, the man known as The Rad Russian,

And I'll charge you and do a head slap.

And i'll never get one now !

And i'll put an end to him

And i'm a genius voice of a generation, so i'm not gay.

And I'm in the third grade.

And i'm looking for a new one.

And i'm white.

And if people are annoyed or intimidated by it,

And if they succeed,

And if we let them officially change the meaning of "fag"

And if you four have really come all this way

And if you wanna go back on that now...

And instead go and live with The Smurfs.

And is closed until tomorrow afternoon.

And is slowly uniting our country.

And it appears that one of your poorer countries,

And it can be caught even if using protection.

And it comes out the dispenser at the bottom !

And it farted inside her.

And it farted inside her.

And it goes back and forth and back and forth !

And it just happened.

And it looks like our next heat is ready to go

And it means we stay away from bad stuff

And it was flown by the monsters who dropped the bomb that day,

And it wasn't my fault !

And it will just grow and grow.

And it's all happening right here !

And it's insensitive to butt pirates.

And it's now headed to our planet.

And it's taking forever,

And it's this other kid who's an ex cop.

And its origin is unknown.

And its president for once!

And just make them more dynamic for the holidays

And kick some fucking ass!

And kick you right in the fucking balls.

And knowing is half the battle.

And learn their secrets.

And leaves underwear good as new.

And let us get out of here.

And let's just keep the energy up,

And like all of you, I want to know

And live the life we've all dreamed of !

And made a lot of people laugh.

And make a hit tv show?

And make it go extra fast.

And make it go to work for you and it's gone.

And make me some goddamned money ha ha.

And make us believe in the economy once again.

And make yourself some motherfucking money!

And maybe I'll also have a word with the A.C.L.U.,

And my brain you know my brain

And my dad said i need to put in the bank

And my homeboy says,

And no one is around to hear it, does it still scream?

And nobody is willing to do anything about it.

And not carlos butthole mencia.

And not even remotely fat.

And not have it be about sex.

And not have sex until i get married.

And not just scared because i might get killed

And now everyone's gettin' laid off work !

And now for a special announcement...

And now here he is, jimmy kimmel !

And now I can't hardly get work wrestling!

And now it's happening!

And now low income housing loans.

And now the economy has cast its vengeance upon us all.

And now the thrilling conclusion of...

And now we are all here paying the price !

And now you know the economy's wrath.

And now you're being a copycat !

And now, for her talent portion,

And of course there's the

And once again, mickey is pissed off and throwing a fit.

And only parts in the official pinewood derby kit ?

And our parents hollered at us.

And pat saltzman is doing house checks to make sure

And people have just lost their faith in it !

And people with a messed up ego

And persuaded by gay advocate groups,

And playing with squirrels, kyle ?

And please just vote for little miss jackson?

And police are now looking for

And pretending to be a superhero, but who ?

And queefed in his face.

And r r r raise my self es es es esteem.

And re package them with a mexican accent man.

And ready for more.

And see if you'll wear purity rings from now on.

And seven water parks in last four days...

And she's just gonna throw it in his face !

And so before they reach the afterlife,

And so did you find the missing space cash ?

And so I decided to leave it all behind

And so I have answered what really happened

And so i have to give it back.

And so now our school has plenty of precious,

And so please buy Dances with Smurfs,

And so uh, hey paul...

And so why is our economy failing us ?

And so you are still causing harm to gay people everywhere,

And so...

And solve them before recess.

And space cash is only worth

And start an international crisis.

And still have underwear that sparkles and shines.

And supremely cool,

And surround sound entertainment systems.

And take care ye' put us in an exit row, ye' landlubber.

And take your wild pee theories with you.

And taking the law into their own hands.

And talk about the craft of comedy.

And tell me you're gonna kick my ass.

And tell them to meet after school!

And that show came on with the jonas brothers

And that's because little girls

And that's when Jimmy sneaks up from behind

And that's why women all over america stand behind you !

And the "don't be scared."

And the "resuscitator."

And the economy is not vengeful !

And the finance company pays for the rest.

And the finance company pays for the rest.

And the guy at sur la table said

And the guy at the movie theater

And the idiots couldn't see that by doing

And the nation like never before.

And the pirate standoff is about to get ugly.

And the purity rings make it okay

And the two will become one flesh.

And then add a couple things and call it yours!

And then again i might not be.

And then appearing disoriented

And then confuse them by agh.

And then dave darski showed up

And then gave you gave me titty twisters.

And then having it all ripped away from you

And then he just ran off.

And then i've got some simple little sparkles

And then improvise some stuff for Saturday!

And then it just occurred to me,

And then it was on leno and jimmy kimmel show !

And then just... jam those... up.

And then share all our money together.

And then she'll give me a bj.

And then the bottom bitch talks to me.

And then the coon showed up

And then the gas from the baby's fart

And then there's the "fog horn."

And then we can tell the media they did it.

And then wear it over this.

And there are 190 black people.

And there is no money for medicine.

And there isn't a plan to sabotage your big night !

And there's not even any treasure !

And these assholes just blindly started buying

And they aren't serving any drinks yet.

And they got more problems than you can imagine.

And they haven't figured out

And they lie and spread rumors about me.

And they made the economy very angry.

And they take volunteers.

And they'll have to deal with my shit for once!

And they're wondering if anyone has seen an alien

And thinks people who don't are ignorant.

And this is like a cube of chaos

And thou knowest that thy stock broker

And threatens violence unless you take off your mask.

And throw the stinky butter at them!

And to pay them what they're asking,

And to that end, by resorting to filth and garbage,

And Token he has no emotion, no timing.

And took me to t.g.i. friday's

And took shit over.

And touched many kids' lives here at the school.

And treasure and plunder !

And try to steal my thunder.

And trying to turn it into drama.

And turn it into your own thing. No, you're right.

And turned it into a big hit.

And walk right out of this bar.

And watching as our school slowly goes into the toilet!

And we always have to prove ourselves twice as hard.

And we could never be happy.

And we do just fine.

And we will certainly pass on any information, uh,

And we, in fact, name our farts.

And we'll be done.

And we'll suffer from it.

And we're boring and lame anyway.

And wear purity rings too ?

And when little girls' gineys tickle,

And who isn't *******, mexican or ginger.

And work it like never before!

And write a poem, kyle.

And yesterday he finds the killer,

And yet Congo saved my life in 'nam!

And yet it is real.

And yet the economy has not improved.

And yet we spoke the common language of passion.

And you are going to jail for soliciting prostitution!

And you can't get up to go to the bathroom

And you fail, we all a die!

And you just kind of... ate chips.

And you know it !'

And you know what?

And you like fish dicks.

And you say stan's methods are unethical.

And you three faggots aren't gonna stop me !

And you too, little girl in the red !

And you'll always have your neat picture.

And you're all ruining the good name of wrassling.

And you're gonna let that near your penis ?

And you're gonna say that to the boss's face ?

And you're out here trolling the streets for prostitutes.

And you're waiting to make a left at a traffic signal.

And your mom is okay with that ?

And your parents died in the 9/11 attacks. Go.

And, of course, the dictionary's head editor,

And, of course, you can feel free to add little flowers

And, uh, hashmish, is it ?

And, you know...

Animal Control came and got him.

Another insurance company is about to go under.

Another person who cares about the future of our school!

Another south park bank has closed down,

Another whale is dying.

Another woman saved from ****.

Answer me ha ha !

Answer the call to save her. answer the call to save her !

Any any interested students

Any girl that sells more than 20 kisses gets...

Any interested students should fill out a

Any man can control a bitch's heart

Any of you do anything interesting last night ?

Any stupid thing that looked appealing

Anybody fuck this up !

Anyone else on this planet wanna be a hero ?!

Anyway, what do you think about

Anyway, what was important for us, as a team, ellen

Apparently a young girl

Apparently these are the pirates.

Apparently, the alien came across your pinewood derby car

Appear to have sent him into some kind of coma.

Approval for two housing loans and tax exempt status.

Aquariums had been experimenting

Are atlantic bottlenose dolphins.

Are big enough to fly an airplane through, mm kay.

Are boring and full of rules,

Are deciding to ride elsewhere.

Are eating fishsticks have you see this ?

Are eating marshmallows, when

Are fucking stupid ha ha.

Are getting ready.

Are going to take the stage in what disney is calling,

Are gone in a flash when you snipe them away.

Are gripped in fear.

Are important to the company's image.

Are never going to disappear.

Are now being done in video.

Are now rushing onto the field.

Are the fundamental wrassling holds.

Are the keepers of the current dictionary

Are they from dreamworks ?!

Are we gonna plunder them or not ?!

Are we gonna plunder them or not ?!

Are we out of the woods yet ?

Are ye' sick and tired of your parents and teachers

Are you denying that the Smurf holocaust ever happened?

Are you forgetting how crappy your lives are ?!

Are you getting this?

Are you getting this? make sure the camera is getting this!

Are you going to run from that as well?

Are you guys and 16 year old girls.

Are you nuts ?!

Are you peeing in the pool?

Are you retarded, stotch ?!

Are you saying you're eric cartman ?

Are you tired of sitting in limbo?

Aren't they those queermos on the disney channel ?

Aren't you that little boy who had his ginger pride rally

Argh !

Arghghgh !

Arrrhgghgh !

As "fags" in today's world is acceptable?

As "ho" or "bitch."

As a dumping ground for toxic waste.

As a little white girl.

As a pejorative term against homosexuals.

As a positive thing and of course

As a scapegoat!

As an alien ship prepares to land.

As before with only the approved pinewood derby kit.

As for me, i certainly don't agree with

As hundreds of people gather to try and get a glimpse

As in calling them 'baggage."'

As innocent people are...

As it becomes, uh, more available.

As long as it served his cause.

As long as my identity is a mystery,

As long as there aren't any minorities.

As long as they're killing whales and dolphins.

As mickey returns to valhalla to slumber and feed.

As more and more people turn to crime and violence,

As my city became a cesspool of crime.

As newly debt free people feel safe to make purchases.

As probably the funniest, most awesome joke ever.

As she tries to find her way out.

As the citizens of South Park amass

As the world plummets into despair,

As violence and darkness take over the streets,

As we commit this young child to the earth,

As we're set for the biggest concert event of the year !

As you all know, the Harley problem

As you can see, we too have been working hard

As you did !

As you meet these intelligent and truly magical creatures.

Ask anybody in fifth grade !

Ask these people where the pirates are.

At 4:00, you got it?

At a man who has angered the economy ?

At bed bath & beyond.

At kevin stoley's house !

At least another 96 hours.

At least we're cool enough to embrace who we are.

At little caesars pizza.

At making it into the WWE, right?

At my house ? why my house ?

At recess is perfect.

At the kid's fair on saturday,

At the pinewood derby.

At the school tonight.

At the university.

At what cost did our school president get it?

Atten tion !

Attention, fourth graders,

Available now on DVD.

Avast !

Aw zats !

Aw, come on !

Aw, come on, just 'cause you can't queef anymore...

Aw, crap.

Aw, dammit.

Aw, damn it.

Aw, ken, look what we've become.

Aw, see?

Aw, thanks.

Aw!

Aw... hey, fellas.

Aww, that really stings.

Aye, look, guys, women are starting to be the driving force

Babies come from there !

Baby fark mcgee zax ?!

Bailout !

Bailout the insurance company !

Band would like you to come backstage.

Bank members only.

Barack obama.

Bartlett!

Based on his body type, it's gotta be someone like

Be careful, bruce vilanch !

Be right back.

Because a bunch of people like you are defaulting

Because babies come from there !

Because christians are retarded ha ha.

Because even though things are getting better for women,

Because finland is thinking about telling

Because i am a genius

Because i cheated on my pinewood derby car.

Because i think you are the smartest kid in class.

Because i'm suddenly finding myself

Because if i'm not honest now,

Because it will be your voice

Because mysterion is trying to

Because mysterion is trying to say

Because of materialistic heathens

Because that's how we can sell sex to little girls ha ha.

Because the boss is on his way here now.

Because the government kept interest rates

Because the real bombers feared retaliation so badly

Because the Smurfs were murdered?

Because the very fabric of this elementary school

Because they are lost in purgatory.

Because they know that only we can save them from the japanese.

Because they thought money was endless.

Because we have leadership that doesn't care.

Because we killed the alien, you boner.

Because we really both did come up with it.

Because we want to share our love of christ with you.

Because you should be concerned there's blood in your underwear.

Because you want to be on tv, then i'll consider it.

Because you're on an active runway.

Because you're totally not fat at all.

Because you've reduced canada channel

Because your ego won't let you think otherwise.

Before I fell in love with Smurfette.

Before we can push back from the gate.

Before you got too old i did !

Before you just blindly listen

Before you queefed in my face three times.

Before you touch your wiener.

Behind the television audience.

Being a comedian but not being funny ?

Better ! * with a yo ho ho

Better for you than potato chips.

Better head back.

Between the kansas city chiefs and the miami dolphins.

Bikers: Yeah!

Bikers: Yeah!

Bitch got to think that's

Bitch gotta know when she out there,

Bitch, don't you wanna start making some real fucking money?

Bitches have access to medicare

Bitches, this is your company now,

Blocked off and barred from the rest of the universe

Blow up a hospital ?!

Blow up anything, are we ?

Blow whats ?

Boo!

Boo!

Book him, boys!

Book signing today, everyone. Be sure to pick up your copy.

Bought anything frivolous

Box of condoms.

Boy, kyle was right, sally!

Boy, oh, boy...

Boy! how do you like that, bitches?

Boys shouldn't be paying for kisses.

Boys, i know you're tired, but the purity rings

Boys, i understand what you did now.

Breaking news of yet another pirate crisis in somalia.

Brewster, marsh, jarvis and hollis.

Brian writes, "Dear Casey,