☊ Community - Season 1 Soundboard

A birthday cake!

A box of hairnets from the kitchen?

A community.

A few things about how this works.

A life of disillusionment and depression

A little bit on the inside,

A little more astronomy later, right?

A movie of the week.

A new syndicate moved in to take its place.

A picnic blanket.

A place where ladies go to share, listen,

A small fading remnant of a star.

A v kids hooked it up.

Abed and I talked to him by the vending machines.

Abed in the house!

Abed is better.

Abed is drunk with chicken power.

Abed killed my backpack.

Abed makes the fingers and the decisions.

Abed supplied the whole department

Abed, eventually people are gonna get tired of chicken.

Abed, it makes the group uncomfortable

Abed, it's open!

Abed, nice to know you and then meet you in that order.

Abed, the mafia movie is over.

Abed, what's your read on that guy?

Abed, your social skills aren't exactly streets ahead.

Abed!

Abed.

Abed's a shaman.

Abed's got it all figured out.

Abed's study group.

About all this, but you were so high

About britta patting herself on the back,

About declining that offer.

About this thing than i am

About what a mysterious and inscrutable man I am.

About what happens to other people

About why that's wrong.

Absolutely not.

Academic guidance, moral support,

Act as if we've either just finished or yet to begin driving.

Actually, there's nothing...

Actually, we didn't get that far without you,

Adults, they get respect,

After his "innocent mistake" of calling me Valerie.

After the dean talked to you about football,

After we get star burns fired.

After you notice this funny way she shakes when she gets cold.

Again?

Ah, go on.

Ah.

All dogs are blue now.

All i want to do is take care of you

All i want to do is take care of you.

All in favor say "aye." both: aye.

All in one move.

All ready to study all night.

All right, come on in.

All right, everybody!

All right, hold on here.

All right, last night i graded your tests.

All right, now, the only reason

All right, well, uh... If you change your mind,

All right? There's a bit of fun.

All right.

All your lives you were told don't stand on your desks.

Also, do me a favor, will you lay off Britta?

Although she left cause he was angry and he was angry cause she's American.

Am I deaf? Can you hear me talking right now?

Am I right? I don't know.

An excuse to punch a hippy?

An opportunity to help each other out.

And Here, look! He wrote a poem!

And a foggy memory of two bland orgasms.

And Abed.

And all that is gonna end right now.

And annie...

And as your dean,

And back to the present.

And being so diverse.

And besides, aren't you supposed to have,

And bring an end to this operation.

And bring my jacket,

And busted.

And considering the age of these girls,

And deny everything, you'll walk.

And don't bother trying that thing that women do

And drink like it like a cold hot chocolate.

And end with a note like that.

And everybody hates him, Even all his friends

And everyone has functions.

And face la musica...

And finally, this beautiful creature is named Shirley.

And finds a nice place to live.

And for that you'd convince Troy

And friend the hell out of

And gather hand in hand in a sea of outraged silence.

And gave the world's worst interview

And has no mercy for weaker beings.

And have a plate of chicken fingers.

And having to hear about the guys you date?

And he always knew when to slap the table.

And he always says hello three times in a row.

And he gave me something.

And he needs so much help!

And he said you can write greendale's school song.

And he would trade it all for a shot at some kind of family.

And her guided got it!

And how might it affect each person listening?"

And i i'd be psyched to be your friend.

And i can't handle this kind of stress right now.

And I caught him stuffing my man

And I don't even normally like dreadlocks.

And I feel that you suck.

And I finished on top.

And I guess, Jeff, my deal is, above all else, honesty.

And I hate you.

And I have appendicitis.

And I just wanna jump out of my car,

And i know it's limited to second Year students,

And I like you too.

And i need him to see me celebrating life.

And i think the lesson we can all take away from this

And i think the wrong person just left.

And I thought, where's the heart?

And I want him at that pep rally tonight.

And I want to have your children.

And I want to record the train wreck.

And I was conditioned to believe that every black woman over 50

And I was the guy in the apron,

And I was trained never to say this,

And i will go talk to vaughn if you want me to.

And I will not take courting advice from some teenage boy.

And i'll help you out however i can.

And i'm afraid greendale takes this kinda thing

And I'm back to being a weirdo,

And I'm happy to report

And I'm happy to share them

And I'm hoping that our friendship

And i'm not looking down on this school at all,

And I'm talking to Troy Barnes,

And ideally, just a notch underneath

And if I truly cared about him,

And if i'm occasionally naked in your dreams,

And if Troy isn't one of them,

And if you guys knew how they treated

And in either case, booyah.

And in this case, it is definitely a girl.

And isn't the word "later" already short enough?

And it deserves to be done right.

And it has the density of 40 Suns.

And it was free.

And it would not hurt your chances one bit

And it's one i will answer. Uh

And Jeff had the most important job of all.

And just like that, the mafia movie was over.

And learns to be sneakier.

And let him do his presentation alone, if that sounds fair to you.

And let his wheels spin down.

And make out with an aerobics instructor.

And make the case that you're a good person

And maybe Annie's decisions will be better.

And maybe i wouldn't sneeze because i'm in control.

And me finding it harder and harder to stay polite.

And memorize five phrases from it tomorrow morning before class.

And midgets are small.

And model puerto rican american.

And my duffle in the boot of my lorry, so

And next month, so will Gwen Stefani.

And now it's time to get what's mine.

And now no one gives a rat's ass.

And now, if you'll excuse me, I have a dinner engagement with Britta.

And old people

And one wants to ask the other one out on a date.

And our species.

And part of you dies

And pay close attention to every subject's breaking point.

And Pierce. We need guys like Pierce.

And q&a.

And racist

And realized the world was better off with me in it.

And really, really, specifically,

And really, this range alone.

And replace him with one of our own

And ripping my My six pack abs and my moist hair.

And Saturday afternoons.

And secondly, vaughn seems cool.

And send me into fits of grateful arousal.

And she'd think i was jealous.

And she'll feel like the luckiest girl in the world.

And she'll take a bite. And you'll laugh.

And Shirley figured that if she stole,

And smelled what happens to Pavel on cabbage night,

And some day you will know it by its true name, "diabetes. "

And started being a family... In italics.

And stopped wasting all of our time.

And study first and then go to dinner.

And taking the stranger's side?

And tell ten people that you love them.

And that face you made?

And that is the sign of a true friend.

And that was it. It was that simple.

And that was that.

And that's just the way it goes.

And the attitude during conveyance

And the chicken is controlled by me.

And the day i finally cut myself loose

And the students on the cover should be smiling,

And the whole class gets a cero!

And then I can make everyone happy

And then she stormed out of the room

And then there were two.

And then they'll put my locks back on the door and that'll be that.

And then you can't talk about your own business,

And then you turned chicken when you found out

And then you would throw up.

And then zucchini zircles. I don't get it.

And they trust and respect you. Watching you exploit them bums me out.

And they're just loving life. It's just inspiring.

And they're throwing the bee

And they've got 24 hours to come forward,

And things are finally going to start turning around.

And this decision has to be yes.

And this is ear Noculars.

And this is my chance to show her I care enough to act like I care too.

And this is, like, my perfect job.

And this no good, clearly bald

And this particular coward

And this time, not with a contest on Twitter.

And tried to order chalupas from the emergency call box,

And Troy. Who cares if Troy thinks he's all that?

And tv.

And unveiling our brand new school song.

And very confusing, and a little homophobic.

And wait in line for a broken promise from a dirty system.

And we can give Ben Affleck an Academy Award for screenwriting.

And we can have what the kids calls a sausage fest.

And we had the chicken to prove it.

And we have a mascot that's just a white guy,

And we were stealing it and giving it back to them

And we're friends now, it's great for me, but it's bad for him.

And when he wakes up, Stupid wishing he was me

And when his job opened up, we did what we had to do

And when this baby starts kicking,

And write that on your bathroom mirror.

And Y2K Preparedness.

And yet a third of life is spent

And you can see my whole face.

And you can't do a basket toss to save your life,

And you don't really care what he wants...

And you get the most important job.

And you help me do a better job with them.

And you made me cry in public.

And you missed an entire side of your face shaving.

And you seem invisible to him.

And you stop messing with my son.

And you turned it all into a way to make everyone like you.

And you'll light the candles.

And you'll offer her your letter jacket

And you'll take a bite.

And your cool

And your family's privacy.

And your gelled hair,

And your name begins with "T".

And your sheet music

And, jeff, let me get you something.

And, Pierce, you're a b.

And, you know, he needs a little spending money.

And...

And... I couldn't take the pressure,

Annie is talking about some kind of experiment.

Annie said that Benjamin Button was compelling.

Annie, why don't you, uh, go and tell our subjects

Annie's boobs could be anywhere.

Annie's boobs could be on the side of the road.

Antoni... An... hold on.

Anybody need anything?

Anyway, are you two an item, and if so,

Apparently my sperm shoot through the egg like bullets.

Apparently there was a falling out, things were said, people were betrayed.

Are going to win it all this year.

Are the five phrases required to get me a passing grade.

Are waiting for the experiment to begin, but...

Are we cool?

Are you even interested in falafel?

Are you okay? It looks like you have actual bed head this morning.

Are you passing it?

Are you saying that we're not allowed to protest?

Are you seeing anybody?

Are you sure you didn't adjust the odds?

Are you trying to blackmail me?

Are you trying to use reverse psychology on a psychologist?

Are you unaware that Shirley finds your advances inappropriate?

Are you wearing that

As a ceo had taught him how

As a seasonal arc on law & order.

As far as I'm concerned,

As far back as I can remember,

As for Abed, for his sake

As if there's a dinner on Earth that could make me forget

Assuming to "Garfunkel" someone is to keep putting up with them

Astrology should be astronomy,

At a school that has an express tuition aisle?

At greendale, they were always out of chicken fingers,

At how many of your favorite football players

At least apologize.

At our state of the art judge's table,

At that moment, we stopped being a family

At which point you would be in charge again, right?

Attending his school.

Awesome!

Back in those days, Jeff winger

Back to watching from the outside...

Because britta was a vegetarian

Because he can't wait to have that conversation with you.

Because he won't listen to reason.

Because i am not gullible like you.

Because i wanted to get caught.

Because i'm arab, i must hate women.

Because I'm right?

Because I'm telling him what kind of friend you really are.

Because if crazy people can't be at greendale,

Because if you don't genuinely seize the day

Because it reacts spontaneously to...

Because it won't happen!

Because it's time to communicate.

Because people can connect with anything.

Because she and I want makeovers.

Because she doesn't think she can.

Because that thing about the jukebox was way too specific to be improvised.

Because their parents are bigots!

Because things weren't that great out there.

Because when I were these skinny jeans, my ass looks like a baby pumpkin.

Because you are not believable in your face, okay?

Because you know what? Soup is better.

Because you know who's talking to us in this range?

Because you were threatening to flunk everyone!

Because you're a football player,

Because you're playing the role of my dad,

Because, really, you are just as selfish as I am.

Been there, coined that.

Before I came to this school shaped toilet.

Before I talk, I ask myself,

Before the deadline.

Before the end of the week,

Before you found the one that said "i don't care"?

Before you two proceed, I have one thing to say...

Before, I only needed them because the day to day world

Beginning transmission.

Begins on the other side of that door.

Being younger does not make me inferior.

Believe me, every day in that country, people are being killed for speaking out.

Believe me, it's nothing like the product.

Believe me, kitten, Winger's got moves.

Bet that doesn't happen to you a lot.

Better yet, before we do that, let's ask ourselves...

Between total stranger

Britta got cozy with star burns.

Britta told me she had a sex dream about you.

Britta, jeff, dad.

Britta, look at me.

Britta?

Britta's hairdresser... What?

Britta's right, you are the most selfish person alive!

Brittles, I forgot to tell you, I went and talked to Vaughn.

Bros before Hoes, Troy.

Brownies?

Buckle up, students.

Buenos días, Winger.

But a woman I kind of like

But abed is an adult and a u.s. citizen.

But apparently, I failed yesterday's tryouts

But could you just answer the question?

But every year, there's always one cocky opportunist

But for you, maybe you're one of those rare people

But he's quite a handful.

But here... here... he's all alone,

But how was I supposed to know that you were smart and cool?

But I am not gonna eat that injustice.

But I can never admit that cause that would make me an ass.

But I can't.

But i had a 4.0 at riverside high,

But I suppose that's a matter of opinion.

But I think she needs to decide whether she wanna be considered a child

But I think that group may be untutorable.

But I thought that, um...

But i want to be unpredictable.

But I was close.

But i was in a tough position.

But i'll be old too soon.

But i'm getting a major b word vibe from you.

But I'm here...

But i'm not trying to look like i'm not.

But i'm only here because of a brief addiction to pills

But I'm warning you I am leaving for lunch early.

But if I take it off to make them happy, that just makes me weak, right?

But if i'm gonna cheat,

But if it was cool to eat God,

But if we're gonna do something, let's do it as a team.

But if you can't learn to be soft in there,

But if you could've heard all the stuff

But if you think of grandsons as a metaphor for friendship,

But it doesn't make this acceptable.

But it lets me adjust really specific settings

But it shows how fun astronomy can be.

But it tastes like chicken.

But just remember these things have power.

But less tragic, because i get to leave.

But let me play you out, okay?

But maybe when Jeff gets here,

But more importantly, it's your sneeze.

But mostly for the sake of Jeff's ego.

But my dad says all media's western propaganda

But now it's time to tell you everything

But now it's too late to drop or add.

But now that you have recovered,

But now they're bonding through mutual adolescence.

But of course you're saying, "Britta, aren't you a hypocrite?"

But one last little piece of gossip.

But Pierce explained the situation.

But relative to this place, i'm alan dershowitz.

But selfish and narcissistic to the point of near delusion.

But she fell off her boat, good thing for her because,

But take it from me, that's human for "hello"

But that doesn't mean I support...

But that doesn't mean that he wants to make falafel.

But the family's success started to go to their heads.

But they actually made me lose my scholarship and virginity.

But they also get their head grabbed and their face pushed through jukeboxes.

But this decision has to be yours, T Bone.

But this is insane, okay?

But this is tacky and lame.

But this sure feels like a real college to me.

But this thing we've created...

But trying to hide it with a bandana loser

But underneath all that clown makeup,

But waiting won't change the dice. You either roll them or lose your turn.

But we can get acquainted.

But we did lean on that pretty hard last week.

But we don't want one, so beat it.

But we need your help.

But we should send those out to local businesses.

But we soldier on,

But we weren't taking any chances.

But we will be next to it,

But we're supposed to be friends now,

But weren't allowed to say anything

But what I can do is see what makes Annie awesome.

But when someone's a bitch and a liar,

But when you showed me that field,

But why?

But within biking distance of his parents' house.

But you can, so that's fine.

But you insinuate my mama's a robot

But you knew we had an astronomy test tomorrow.

But you know what they'll never make a replacement for?

But you made a commitment.

But you, you follow through. love you.

But, Abed, if you get caught skimming,

But...

By a disciplinary tribunal tomorrow

By reading from the Torah.

By the way, I took the liberty

By the way, they started using that

Bye. He's just laying low.

Can I have a word with you?

Can I live with you?

Can I not be Kurt Russell?

Can I sign up twice?

Can I talk to you for a minute?

Can I? Oh, it's crispy.

Can we begin to start starting them.

Can we eat them while sitting on a table

Can we look around our immediate areas, 'cause I really wanted to...

Can we make this quick?

Can you believe this? What are the odds?

Can't believe I misled you like that.

Can't use 80 bucks?

Caring.

Carpe diem, sir. carpe diem!

Cate blanchett sexuality and the ridiculous name?

Cause a smart guy like you would know

Cause I know what I'd like to protest...

Check out my posse and Troy's monkey.

Chicken.

Class blows.

Class dismissed.

Cleared my whole day.

Coined and minted.

Come back again. Whoo, ooh, ooh, get him.

Come from the same island?

Come on, hands... 90% of Spanish.

Come on, let's brainstorm some story ideas.

Come on. stand on your desk.

Come on. Why don't you have dinner at my place?

Come to the parking lot now.

Companies?

Comprende, Star burns?

Conflicts like these will ultimately bring us together as an unlikely family.

Congratulations. You have won a cruise.

Contact sheet. Just put your stuff there.

Containing all the information covered on the test.

Cool tie, jeff.

Cool.

Cool. And what can you offer?

Cool. I bet Randi would love that type of thing.

Cool. I'll see you.

Cool. Okay.

Cop Rock.

Cosmology should be cosmetology,

Could be to go in there and clean up your mess.

Could you come here, please, for a second?

Could you please go as my friend?

Could you scoot over?

Credit hogging jag who only knows three power cords

Dad.

Damages the part of his brain that feels pride.

Damn it.

Damn you, you outlying piece of datum!

Damn, I picked the wrong couple to follow out of class this morning.

Deal.

Dean you later.

Dean, I'm sure Troy will sign up for football

Dean, you want so bad for this place to be ivy league

Destroyed all my marriages.

Did a little foot modeling.

Did I say anything in my sleep about farm animals or Brian Williams?

Did you enroll in all of his classes,

Did you give them my poem?

Did you just defend my honor?

Did you know they had a football?

Did you learn nothing from stand up comedy in the '90s?

Did you make that crib sheet?

Did you say S?

Did you see that hacky sack wears an anklet?

Did you think of that

Did you... say it already?

Didn't that bother you?

Dirty Dancing.

Disco, doll, the library

Do it. Seduce him.

Do we really want to make it a crime

Do whatever you want. You just have to know.

Do you guys even have faucets in here?

Do you guys mind?

Do you have any more questions?

Do you know who might have stolen

Do you know why I'm here?

Do you like dane cook?

Does anyone have a pen? Pen?

Does it just mean "cool," or is it

Does that mean we shouldn't listen to him either?

Doesn't seem to be anything wrong with you.

Don't be naive. The charge between you was keeping him going

Don't become this person again.

Don't go too fast for these dogs. Short legs.

Don't hit me.

Don't talk to Vaughn.

Don't test her on that,

Don't use that word around Abed.

Don't you ever want anything more out of life than cereal?

Don't you guys think this is getting out of hand?

Don't you see what happened?

Don't you think maybe you should go?

Done by: mosito1001 Resync by Pippo Inzaghi

Doosh!

Dots her is with tiny,

Double spaced. Thank you.

Draw the tapeworm of Jeff out of him with your sexuality.

Driving you to the airport and painting your kitchen?

Dude, we have feelings.

Duncan, you did seem less into integrity

Dwarves hate being called midgets,

East side, west side, North side, south

Eee!

Eh... eh... eh... eh...

Either way, it's for them.

Emotional eruption or breaking point,

Especially now. He's got a real Phil Spector vibe going.

Especially your reference.

Even if they're being tackled in the quad by a hippie,

Even like that you're a little hard.

Even though they're a fat, lazy cat who hogs the spotlight and eats lasagna.

Even, fairness, right, wrong.

Ever again.

Every answer to every test

Every answer to every test in your curriculum this semester.

Every day on my way to school,

Every day you flock here like sheep

Every once in a while, a student come up to me and ask,

Every part of it is a part of who I am.

Every single dog in the world is blue.

Everybody in our crew had a job.

Everybody ready?

Everyone else needs my help.

Everyone had their hand out.

Everyone on this campus is nuts.

Everyone stand on your desks!

Everyone wanted what we had. Oh! Oh, well.

Everyone's speaking the same language.

Everything's all, "no worries, no worries."

Exactly. Like knight rider.

Excuse me, I have a future murder victim to visit

Excuse me, Pierce's band is playing

Exploit the legal system for profit.

F minus.

Fa look, we'll be fine.

Feel it, Troy. Throw it!

Feet.

Filled with these antioxidants and stuff.

Fine.

First up was supposed to be Jeff and Pierce,

First, lose the jacket.

Flirting with britta?

Float?

Fly a kite, but do it for yourself.

Football is bad for you, Troy.

Football was the most important thing in the world.

For a fancy condo, you've got awful security.

For a language credit, shall we?

For burning man.

For combination skin

For each of us.

For ejemplo, blondie aqui

For every one of the classes I'm taking. Here's my schedule.

For every time i wished somebody asked me that.

For filling out these anonymous evaluation cards.

For hawthorne wipe's moist towelettes.

For me, it's Lucky Charms...

For non superficial reasons

For now.

For our crime family?

For the cheater to be an adult

For the position of bathroom companion.

For the same reason I can pick up this pencil,

For the semester.

For those of you who are new,

For, uh...

Forever.

Friday mañana, we'll have conversations with the rest of the class

Friends do not make fun of each other,

Friends don't mess with each other.

Friends.

From a trained mental health professional.

From now on, abed,

From properly running this machine

Full of chicken and Tyler Perry has a whole series of movies

Funny thing about being smart

Get it right next time.

Get me an entourage.

Get out!

Get out! Get out, you dorks!

Get Troy a monkey.

Get up and walk out the door!

Get up on your desk.

Gets its jollies judging me.

Gets the ladies in the mood for social change.

Getting injured in that "keg stand"

Girls go in groups.

Go kill john lennon again, you loser.

Go running naked in a hailstorm,

Go to the nurse. seize the day.

Go!

God bless you.

Good afternoon, Greendale community college.

Good day, I like cold potatoes,

Good morning, greendale! hi! good morning!

Good morning, sir.

Good morning!

Good morning.

Good news is I'm the new keyboardist in his band.

Good studying. See you later. Bye.

Good.

Google it.

Got all up in my stuff because you wanted to be cowboys

Got started at community college.

Got the whole table.

Got ya.

Great idea. Let's do it!

Great to have somebody to watch stuff with

Greendale, we're number one!

Greendale!

Greendale's gonna kill me or anything.

Guess I ruined your date, huh?

Guys, look what Abed scored for me.

Guys, what the hell! "Getting rid of Britta"?

Ha ha! that's funny.

Ha ha! Troy, Troy, the wonder boy!

Ha ha! Up top!

Ha. That's very funny.

Hackneyed?

Hacks, sheep.

Hacks.

Had to go number two.

Half the chicken at greendale

Handcrafted in Italy. 100% expensive

Hands aids.

Has a card with a picture of a house on it.

Has a much harder time saying, "Booyah", to moral relativism.

Has given me douche ray vision, but those are good people in there,

Have a nice date.

Have a nice day.

Have a nice disbarment hearing.

Have been called animals their whole lives.

Have you been playing football?

Have you got a problem with me?

Have you met abed? you know who he is?

He always knew what to say

He asked about you.

He can do what he wants.

He can't even make it to the litter box

He can't move his mouth either.

He didn't say it?

He gives them to people just so

He has He has warped the duncan principle.

He has a big poop breakfast, With a glass of pee

He has diabetes.

He just keeps filming me and telling me

He lowered his guard and just like that,

He offered me $100 to switch cards with him

He released Annie's boobs.

He says stuff, you know, after...

He specifically asked about me?

He thinks he's in dead poets society.

He thought getting closer to Jeff would bring him respect in the group.

He was at the top.

He was gone.

He was our leader.

He was talking about? yes.

He was the boss.

He wears diapers to bed, And sucks his mothers thumb

He wrote an article critical of the government, and they killed him.

He'd be a chicken finger.

He'd move the fingers to a storeroom

He'd play shirts and skins in a game of checkers.

He's a special boy.

He's a US citizen. He's not a threat to National Security.

He's cutting.

He's fine.

He's gone from lovable Johnny five to evil hal.

He's jumped in the fountain.

He's kind of trucking.

He's like E.T. He crashed in my place.

He's not picking up. What did you do with him?

He's renting that camera.

He's ruined my study!

He's the one accusing my client.

He's trying to hold my hand.

Head is ice cream, beer is good

Hello, good evening, how are you?

Hello.

Hemingway's lemonade.

Her name is Britta, 28, birthday in October,

Here comes Vaughn. Bye.

Here I am in a random conversation about football,

Here it is. Still hot.

Here. Put your contact info down right there.

Here's something I think might be fun.

Hey, Abed.

Hey, everybody. good morning.

Hey, Jeff. Hey, buddy.

Hey, look at that. "Hanes classic

Hey, man... Is this your first pep rally or something?

Hey, say hello to our ethnically neutral mascot...

Hey, Troy, can I talk to you for a sec?

Hey, you're not gonna order coffee?

Hey!

Hi, abed. Hi.

Hi, everybody.

Hi, i would like a latte.

Hi, senor chang.

Hi, troy.

Hi, Vaughn. Can we talk sometime?

Hi!

Hi.

Hi. dean pelton. [chuckles]

High school must have been tough, huh?

High school shamefully outdated fight rap?

His body made of wrinkles and folds.

His dreadlocks remind me of the predator,

Hmm?

Ho ho.

Hold some waitress hostage with a monologue about your sperm.

Holy crap.

Honesty, because...

Hope he doesn't try to "handsome" her to death.

Hope your mom didn't make you take baths together 'cause one of you would've been 30.

Horrible pictures of me...

How about you?

How can señor chang be one of the judges?

How can you just stand there like a mute idiot?

How did he react to you signing up for the film class?

How did you know my nickname's T Bone?

How do we turn this off? Can you help me with this?

How do we turn this off? Mom, you think you can help me?

How do you know I didn't do it just to get another shot at you?

How is it that you and james bond

How is student life, my dry witted friend?

How long does it take you in the morning

How many sweat pants, sport jacket combos did you try

How much did the Dean pay you to make Troy play football?

How much you hurt me.

How petty do you think I am?

How small his nipples are.

How to prove that i live in the moment.

How you got a jury to connect September the 11th with my DUL,

How you'll get the money?

How'd you know I went there?

How's your film class, buddy?

However, I wish you luck!

Human Beings, Human Beings!

I Uh, that was tacky out there.

I accept. You're chicken.

I always wanted to be in a mafia movie.

I am a female pleasure unit.

I am a prominent business leader and a highly sought after dinner guest

I am a robot.

I am a Spanish genius!

I am impartial, so it should all work out.

I am in a bit of a jam.

I am my own person,

I am out

I am programmed to love this backpack.

I am reading it, and it is read.

I am talking about your speeches

I am your dean with a few corrections to the fall class catalog.

I am. I'd be happy to show you the ropes.

I bought a whip.

I call it "special drink".

I can hear you through the window, morons.

I can help you with your image.

I can lay low for an episode.

I can see it. Two girls are making out on the hood.

I can tell you that.

I can't believe i showed you that poem.

I can't believe this.

I can't control him.

I can't find a road in there.

I can't think of a single logical reason why not.

I cannot be responsible for your sanity.

I checked into a motel and I'm looking for apartments.

I could get it from plenty of women

I could just play football for the fun of it.

I could make anything right or wrong.

I could never be as good as you.

I could use a break.

I couldn't handle just being one of the girls

I couldn't have done this without your help.

I deserve that.

I did a little bit of lying to get close to you.

I did what I thought Jeff would do.

I didn't mean that.

I didn't see you.

I discovered at a very early age that if I talk long enough,

I do love America. I love it very much.

I do not consent to this!

I do things.

I don't believe what greedy sellouts

I don't care what you think. For me, that was huge.

I don't do anything.

I don't even know how it started.

I don't have a study group. I made it up.

I don't have any of the answers.

I don't know about that.

I don't know about the firing.

I don't know about you, but I know I ended up here

I don't know.

I don't know. Long message. I'm sorry.

I don't need to go to the bathroom with other people.

I don't need your heart or your hand.

I don't think so.

I don't want to be late for lunch.

I don't want you to bring my car around.

I dressed like a crazy pharaoh for you, man.

I drive through downtown past the courthouse

I dropped out of high school because I thought for some reason

I feel terrible for all of you.

I figured that you'd make fun of him...and me.

I figured we were more like chandler and phoebe.

I forgot to stagger the timing of my exit with shirley's.

I found your feedback

I gave Abed my shirt because I'm not selfish,

I get it. Garfield's wishing me a happy Arbor Day,

I get it. You're jealous.

I go by Travis.

I got a carton of cigarettes.

I got a hot plate that plugs into a cigarette lighter.

I got a little doozy in the chamber if things get emotional.

I got it, abed. i got everything.

I got tear gassed at a world trade rally.

I got to figure out what to bring to the picnic.

I got to go get ady.

I got to stop hanging out with her.

I got up, i took my morning deuce,

I gotta go.

I guess I'll have to take him out.

I guess it's Well, uh

I guess Jeff's running late again.

I guess that it's...

I guess...same reason that i cheated.

I had an array of masculine sneezes

I had it all worked out on a schedule.

I had my blinker on about five minutes,

I had worked in my dad's falafel restaurant,

I hand out the candles and we do a speechless protest.

I have a bicycle and I teach beginner's tennis.

I have a wealth of experience

I have classes to go to.

I haven't had one in weeks. They run out so fast.

I heard this class was a cakewalk.

I heard you with my own ear...noculars.

I hereby pronounce you

I i can talk to him for you.

I i love you.

I joined the Peace Corps.

I just didn't want to take sex off the table

I just have to go back out there

I just need a new food, a new system.

I just need to be able to connect to people like you can,

I just spoke with señor chang,

I just think we were both wrong.

I just want you to know, I haven't changed my mind.

I just wanted to get it over with.

I keep hearing the same two notes,

I knew you could do it, buddy. Thank you.

I know a life changing kiss when i see one.

I know Abed's been eyeing that shirt for three weeks.

I know Britta's your friend, but my song is more important.

I know exactly what he's doing.

I know you're not stupid. are you doing this on purpose?

I know, sweetie. Let's go find you some pants.

I lied.

I like everything about you now, Abed.

I like what you've done with the place.

I like you, Jeffrey.

I lived in my car for a stretch in the '70s

I love de desperate housewives.

I love you.

I made a breakfast consisting of..

I made this notch to indicate optimal cleansing temperature

I make things up and I got paid a lot of money to do it

I manipulated the group

I mean, a lot of people talk a good game.

I mean, have you seen these guys?

I mean, I have to go,

I mean, i may not be a practicing lawyer anymore,

I mean, i'd rather take an actual class,

I mean, it could be...

I mean, it is a Spanish class.

I mean, it's been fun, but it's out of control now.

I mean, it's not like

I mean, look at us.

I mean, surely it must be in my nature

I mean, the way Jeff saw it, by not respecting us,

I mean, throw me a bone!

I mean, you said it yourself.

I mean, you two are arguing about status at a college

I miss being the best at something.

I miss having a coach.

I miss knowing what to think.

I need a few more shakes.

I need five minutes, so go ahead and study all the...

I need to give a banana to Annie's boobs.

I never even knew that's what asexual meant.

I never have anything to offer.

I never looked at it that way.

I only talked to her once while she was borrowing a pencil...

I present to you the "Greendale Human Being".

I quit the fry cook job,

I raise him, okay? you don't raise him.

I require a new coat of paint.

I sang Christmas carols at a nursing home once.

I sat behind you in algebra.

I saw how much you missed me,

I saw there was nothing to worry about here.

I say we knock him out of the kitchen

I see your value now.

I see. I see.

I seem to have left my purse in my duffle

I sent them a message.

I should grow up and make peace with being here.

I should never have let you into this lab,

I still cannot figure out

I stir the pot, jeff. I'm a pot stirrer.

I suggest you all do it.

I suppose I wouldn't need this promotional campaign

I tell you what we're gonna do.

I tell you, before aids, sex was like shaking hands.

I think he really relies on that income.

I think he spent his whole life looking out for himself

I think he's been pretty clear

I think i left that crib sheet on the floor

I think I was a little too harsh on you.

I think i'm better than everyone else because i'm 40.

I think if we add in a little bit of Phylicia Rashad

I think if you said, "jump," he'd say, "how high?'

I think it might be a backpack

I think it's great.

I think not being racist is the new racism.

I think so.

I think that's something we should discuss with our partners.

I think you are weird, abed.

I think, actually, we should prioritize here

I thought I would share few thoughts of wisdom and inspiration.

I thought of that.

I thought you were like Bill Murray, but you're more like Michael Douglas.

I thought...

I understand if you don't want to be my friend,

I understand people and they finally understand me.

I used a memory technique.

I used to be in their group till they kicked me out.

I want a new hairdresser though.

I want leather seats with built in ball warmers.

I want my blanket back.

I want payment in advance.

I want to know why he would do something like that.

I want to say something. Sit down.

I want you to extend to that person

I want you to swim in a lake

I wanted to let you know about my Spanish study group.

I wanted to say something to britta about it,

I wanted to say sorry for yelling at you.

I was a lawyer.

I was doing this all for Abed. You are the worst.

I was gonna lay down on newspaper.

I was just messin' with you. you were lying?

I was just messing with you, but i guess i blew it again.

I was just trying to throw you a bone because I like you.

I was raised on TV

I was thinking about the four disembodied heads,

I was wrong, okay? Material possessions are important.

I went by his film class today. he wasn't there.

I went for rhyme over clarity.

I would be weeping right now.

I would have done your song for free.

I would have to go... I would have to say...

I would say anything to get what I want and I want you to like me.

I would say, "Go for that", and could have said so in a text.

I wouldn't dream of it.

I wouldn't have come to community college.

I wouldn't play for this school with a 10 foot pole.

I wouldn't want to.

I wrote the jingle

I, uh i'll probably open with something like this. uh...

I, uh, have been a little stumped.

I...just have more experience being worthless.

I'd given them everything and somehow

I'd have slapped him upside the head.

I'd like to be there when the band finds out

I'd like you to say, "I forgive you".

I'd lost their respect.

I'd tell you to do the math, but math isn't important.

I'll be right back. But while I'm gone,

I'll bring him back.

I'll bring yours around, good guy. You get going, all right.

I'll cleanse my palate while kevin rethinks his marriage.

I'll do it. I'm in. Yay!

I'll get the ball rolling. Maybe he has a tiny penis.

I'll give you 20 bucks.

I'll give you my number if you promise not to use it

I'll go with a pencil.

I'll go with you.

I'll help you connect with people,

I'll just wait for you to finish striking out first.

I'll never get to be with him!

I'll put on a leather jacket

I'll recommend that the accused

I'll save you the trouble. It's zero.

I'll show you some sperm, buddy.

I'll tell you why I teach Spanish.

I'm a fraud, annie.

I'm a professor! You can't talk to me that way.

I'm a student.

I'm a vegetarian.

I'm afraid that I'm gonna have to put her to sleep.

I'm already overwhelmed by my duties

I'm already trying him.

I'm an artist and I write what I feel.

I'm asking you if you know the difference between right and wrong.

I'm at my best during high Speed bursts of wit.

I'm disguising it.

I'm drawing attention to myself.

I'm familiar with the concept. I'm just... fine.

I'm funny.

I'm getting rid of Britta,

I'm getting rid of Britta, getting rid of the b.

I'm getting rid of Britta. What am I doing?

I'm going to roll them. I am. I just..

I'm going to the bathroom.

I'm gonna experiment with jalapeno poppers next

I'm gonna flunk the test.

I'm gonna go to the bathroom

I'm gonna show her that i am not the jerk she thinks i am

I'm gonna tell you what my mother told me

I'm gonna write that down.

I'm good.

I'm heading back. Pavel's making babka.

I'm here because i like you,

I'm here to dismantle the fryer,

I'm in a rock band!

I'm in your 101 lecture. Hello.

I'm just gonna read it, if you don't mind.

I'm just messing with you.

I'm just sleeping in it for a couple of days

I'm kind of the hawkeye around here so it's kind of a...

I'm learning a lot. that is so wonderful.

I'm locked out of my old kingdom.

I'm Mr. Chicken fingers.

I'm no more of a songwriter than you or billy joel.

I'm not allowed to date students.

I'm not an alien. [laughs]

I'm not doing a mafia movie.

I'm not gonna stand here and be ignored.

I'm not gonna write information from a book

I'm not having a conversation with someone

I'm not living in my car.

I'm not much of a sausage guy. Maybe next time.

I'm not perfect.

I'm not ready to die.

I'm not really sure how to do that.

I'm only half arabic. My dad is Palestinian.

I'm out here trying to seize a day!

I'm out! wait, what?

I'm Pierce.

I'm pretty excited about it.

I'm pretty sure you rented a green screen.

I'm really glad you said that, britta.

I'm really looking forward to the first three.

I'm really sorry. I'm really, really sorry,

I'm saying you're a football player!

I'm so glad we can rip on that dude again.

I'm so used to screwing everything up

I'm sorry about how things ended.

I'm sorry I called you Michael Douglas and I see your value now.

I'm sorry I can't accept your apology 'cause you're toxic, Britta.

I'm sorry, you brushed over that first part.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. It was an accident.

I'm starting to see why someone used to be a lawyer.

I'm sure I've made some bad life decisions

I'm sure you didn't or else we would've been walking together,

I'm sure you wanna know how you did, right?

I'm taking the class as an easy credit. I'm actually a Spanish tutor.

I'm tired of chicken.

I'm trying to lock down the rest of my schedule

I'm using regular psychology on a spineless, British twit.

I'm willing to try some more mainstream feminine stuff.

I've been divorced

I've been following you.

I've been...

I've decided to support Troy.

I've got it.

I've got to pay some fees

I've had my eye on it since registration first day.

I've heard that about green tea.

I've moved on.

I've never gotten one of these.

I've never... gotten a zero before.

I've peed alone my whole life.

I've seen the face of dementia, and last night I saw it again.

I've wasted all day here for you.

Idiot.

If all i wanted was sex,

If and when some accident

If anything, your age indicates that you've made bad life decisions.

If God were edible not that I'm catholic,

If he's not interested, I could lose the friendship too.

If I could announce to the press

If I do that, then dinner, right?

If I wanted to learn something,

If i was playing hacky sack a decade too late.

If it's important to Shirley, I'll go with her next time.

If it's so serious, why don't they call it meningitis?

If making movies help him be understood,

If so, i'd like to ask him about his movie choices,

If someone from the outside were to find...

If the good lord hadn't been watching,

If they really prove to be untutorable, we'll slip out early.

If we are the "Human Beings", you know,

If we complain, he gets a warning

If you could lend me a fiver.

If you don't like my song, you don't have to listen, all right?

If you have all the answers, why did you start this study group?

If you have to ask, you're street's fine.

If you know what i mean.

If you like that brownie, you're gonna hate what's going on in Guatemala, I'll tell you that.

If you look under your desk,

If you said, "stop," he'd say, "hammertime."

If you were actually an alien.

If you'd like, you may represent her.

If you're gonna argue with me, put on a bathing suit.

If you're gonna study with people, it would be cool of you to show up on time.

Ileave my homework with Slumdog Millionaire.

Illusion only lasts until someone says something they'd never say on tv

Imagine living with that. can you imagine?

In a room with less balls?

In an attempt to get with me, I'd appreciate it if you left

In any case, if you want me to have a chat with Jeff, I'd be happy to do it.

In any other context than friendship.

In borchart hall.

In campus news,

In case there's a fire.

In español, my nickname is

In every movie, there's an authority figure

In exchange for a 10% bump on every Spanish test

In fact, I don't need to use movies

In fact, it's a rare condition they call "hyper virility".

In fashion, I'm what's known as a tastemaker.

In five minutes, okay?

In her high heel boots like it was tampon time...

In high school.

In image management, icon development,

In just about anything but themselves.

In order to increase awareness of homelessness,

In other's lives.

In overboard, she was just like you.

In sleep.

In the bylaws about recesses, all right?

In the last two days, I spent a quarter.

In there.

In these mailers we have going out.

In your spanish class.

Infatuated with Troy.

Install those in a new apartment so that every day,

Into a state of emotional shambles for a shot at getting in my pants?

Into getting you the fry cook job

Irish chins, women's breasts.

Is a cosmic mentor.

Is a thing that makes men weep.

Is because both of you wanted the best for abed.

Is being a hero and wanting to be taller.

Is gonna think twice before he makes fun of my job!

Is having all the answers to tomorrow's test.

Is he gonna kill us?

Is here.

Is in big mustache, dog, lard.

Is it the lips?

Is it?

Is mr. luis guzman, celebrated actor

Is out there caring about something stupid,

Is that ?

Is that even close?

Is that everyone should always do

Is that i know who señor chang is.

Is that I'm at the center of it.

Is that linebacker a pregnant woman?

Is that real bed head, or do you put something in there?

Is that they need to get me.

Is that this cause is really personal to me.

Is that you can get through most of life without ever having to do any work.

Is the guy who's threatening everyone with a zero.

Isn't that precious and cute?

Isn't that right, Annie's boobs?

It actually helped me come to terms with losing my condo.

It didn't help I can't have children. I'm not sterile.

It doesn't matter.

It feels unfamiliar,

It goes from seal to seal's teeth.

It has a million zippers

It is a disaster in there.

It is amazing.

It is bigger than the both of us,

It is none of your business, okay?

It lightens the mood.

It looks like they won something once.

It makes every ten minutes feel like the beginning of a new scene of a tv show.

It starts at nueve!

It starts to creep them out.

It starts when you join this team.

It turns out everyone has needs

It was a banner year at the bender family.

It was the "Greendale Grizzlies",

It will be...

It will take more than speeches and guided missiles.

It would be a real feather in my transcript.

It would impress Radiohead.

It... looks a lot like you.

It's It's cute, but it stings.

It's 2009.

It's a hard, dry, large business.

It's a protest.

It's a real paper, there's a marmaduke in there.

It's a serious disorder.

It's a very temporary issue.

It's actually happening right now.

It's all right, I'm worth it. * Hip, hop, body don't stop *

It's all right. Don't let me interrupt.

It's almost like you gave it to him so he would switch cards.

It's an emergency situation.

It's an heirloom. I want it back.

It's been struggling since 2001.

It's called "two conquistadors", should probably be "dos".

It's called Sagittarius A,

It's called show business.

It's clear to all of you that I am awesome,

It's complete! Nice catch!

It's for spies and whatnot. It gives you sonic hearing.

It's getting a little relationship Y.

It's his Twitter account.

It's just "day seizing."

It's just gonna be another five minutes.

It's just the average person

It's just, you know, we won't bag on people.

It's kinda my gimmick. Let me tell you something...

It's like a drug, isn't it?

It's like a mafia movie.

It's like benny hill looks. Whoo, ooh, ooh, get him.

It's like little dogs should be jumping through them.

It's located in the center of our galaxy,

It's more expensive,

It's more than I ever accomplished.

It's never actually going to start.

It's not It's not fair! It's not fair!

It's not a good combo.

It's not gonna be reversed because you're the one who

It's not gossip when it's fact.

It's not that complicated, Jeff.

It's not that easy to get human beings to turn on each other.

It's okay, buddy.

It's okay.

It's policy.

It's pretty alarming behavior, Jeff.

It's professor Duncan.

It's quite a setup you got here.

It's scary.

It's secretary's day, and it says I'm sorry about crashing your protest

It's Seinfeld.

It's the blanket my grandmother used to court my grandfather.

It's the same wizard blue that i see in your eye, brit Ta."

It's Travis.

It's unacceptable, all right?

It's used as parking overflow for the megachurch

It's very impressive.

It's you! It's your fault!

It's, like It's, like,

Itty Bitty, little circles.

Jackee?

Jeez, you are way out of your element here.

Jeff and Britta are dead air.

Jeff leaving the family didn't turn out to be a problem.

Jeff probably comes late not to sit through your tardiness.

Jeff said you'd say that.

Jeff says you're not listening to him.

Jeff Winger!

Jeff, are you familiar with the adage "cheaters never prosper"?

Jeff, having heard Pierce's side of the story,

Jeff, i think you should play the role of my father.

Jeff, wait. Wait. I know i shouldn't do this,

Jeff... what now?

Jeffrey, did you not read the release agreement

Just a lying creep who purposely upset everyone

Just act natural. Pretend you're watching the athletic proceeding.

Just as long as you don't have to

Just because you aah!

Just give 'em a call right now.

Just give me your real number.

Just kidding.

Just seems right.

Just so he could be partners with Jeff.

Just something I thought might be fun.

Just to get a glimpse of the world that I once ruled.

Just to make me look better

Just to put them out of their misery

Just want to show Vaughn some support to help smooth things over.

Just...insecure and naive.

Keeping their minds active as they circle the drain of eternity.

Keg flip. They're very hard to pull off.

Key to the kitchen.

Kind of hoping for a Michael Richards situation.

Kiss a girl in the middle of the day,

Kleenex?

Know what I got for Christmas?

Know... sweetie.

Known to ma and pa as a good old Fashioned tantrum.

Kumar?

La bamba. Got it.

Lard, mustache, huge, little

Lashonda, can we please strike that?

Law firms.

Lawyer...

Legal...

Let alone why that helped.

Let me ask you something.

Let me talk to him for you.

Let me tell you a little secret about me, Troy.

Let me tell you something, i love women.

Let this operation dry up

Let's complain.

Let's do this.

Let's find out the number of makeup companies

Let's get you into the pep rally!

Let's go! hey! hey!

Let's have one drink before we work.

Let's make a deal.

Let's not get carried away.

Like a grown up date,

Like a six Foot child.

Like building a wall that you can see from outer space.

Like doing it with me.

Like how much their life is like tv. There, it's gone.

Like i'm some black female caricature?

Like in sixteen candles?

Like it was a big favor.

Like knight rider.

Like we're characters in a show you're watching.

Like you do.

Like you were up here and i was here, and now...

Like you're better than me in front of my students.

Like, an olympic gold medal in jibber Jabber?

Like, blazers with chicken finger patches.

Like, i think i think the cubs

Line starts behind you.

Listen, i wanted to ask you about that young lady

Listen, man.

Listen.

Listen...

Listening to a story about a stranger pissing me off

Live in...

Living in your car. You are living in your car.

Look at all this cash

Look at all this work you're doing just to have me around again.

Look at awesome Jeffrey Winger.

Look at her?

Look at him go. I'm gonna make him go quicker.

Look at me! i am.

Look at me.

Look at the little one chase the big one.

Look at the person on your left.

Look at this crew.

Look at this. one foot.

Look at those faucets.

Look what Abed did to my hair.

Look what we have stumbled onto...

Look who the cat dragged out and licked clean

Look, I really need to liquidate some assets.

Look, I'm Annie's backpack.

Look, I'm walking out this door right now.

Look, I'm, uh... I'm really sorry about before.

Look, she's a smart girl, but sometimes she's just wrong.

Look, um, I've been thinking

Look, you can meet them later.

Look... the dean has pictures of me, okay?

Looks like a chinese takeout menu.

Made me ashamed of myself.

Made me jealous.

Made no sense to me, but now,

Mailers? I didn't give permission for this.

Makeovers.

Makes your lack of flavor kind of a flavor.

Making tater tots.

Man to man is better.

Man was not meant to hear.

Man, you guys really love

Many of you are halfway through your first week at Greendale

Marianne?

Marry me.

May I have a word?

Maybe even become one

Maybe he had his blinker on too.

Maybe he is.

Maybe I need to hit the big red button

Maybe I'm feeling extra protective

Maybe if you put stain remover on a turd,

Maybe it was when I got boobs before everyb...

Maybe over some Milky Ways or some Mars Bars.

Maybe this is a special episode.

Maybe we should just stay here

Maybe you and I should go check out

Maybe you should tell him

Maybe. Maybe not.

Maybe. So you... got any family, Britta?

Maybe... it's because men make the world go round?

Me too.

Meanwhile, in Guatemala, journalists are being killed by their own government.

Middle age divorcees,

Milady.

Milord.

Mind if i get a chance? oh!

Mind if i hear what you got so far?

Miss annie fanny panties in a bunch!

Mm hmm.

Mm, nah.

Mm. Okay, maybe I was a little more wrong.

More insane than programming them

More on that story as it unfolds.

Morning

Mostly about Pierce, but listen to last paragraph.

Mr. Hawthorne, or the "Greendale Asians"

Mr. winger, can i have a word, please?

Mr. winger, i like to think that every life

Ms. edison here, for example, would rather write

My appendix is bursting

My band, my song!

My car for a semester's worth of answers?

My client is insane.

My dad never wanted to watch anything so I was kind of raised by tv.

My dad will only pay for classes

My ex husband spent four weeks doing that

My facebook photo is a landscape.

My kids have got hamsters with bigger nips.

My kids? Your Your doctor career?

My monkey hates this caviar.

My name is Pierce Hawthorne and yes,

My name is T Bone the disco spider.

My name's Abed, by the way.

My really good friend?

My room has a bunk bed, which is a misnomer because it's the real deal.

My. she's okay.

Name's Shirley. Memorize it.

Namely, that the more control lost by the

Nancy Pelosi is no fun!

Need to bust out brownie mix.

Never had him. Don't want him.

Next time, then.

Nice sign.

Nice. I'll be thinking of you.

Nice. thank you so much, you guys.

No condoms.

No more lines.

No more racing to the cafeteria.

No offense, but I was the best,

No one has a pen.

No pressure.

No stereotypical identifiers from any race or gender.

No stone unturned.

No tests! no papers.

No way.

No woman would be able to look at you as a sexually viable candidate

No worries, man

No, because you're a 5 year old girl and there's a pecking order.

No, I know.

No, I'm concerned about Abed

No, it's just someone

No, let me tell you something.

No, my real place.

No, no, I mean, why are you here?

No, no, no, no.

No, no, no! Annie!

No, no.

No, not that. An important lesson, my friend.

No, sorry.

No, those are both for me.

No, we... We have to observe you overnight.

No, you go by the door.

No, you're not an idiot.

No, your incredulity perplexes me, nerd

No!

No! Houston, we have an idiot.

No. Because I'm not in a commercial for breakfast cereal.

No. I need another example

No. I won't mail these out, but they are staying with me

No. No, because we're not the "Greendale Blacks",

Nobody asked any questions because Pierce's experience

Nobody puts baby in the corner.

Not a great friend.

Not as a wife, not as a mother, but as a woman.

Not at America. Just at my mom for leaving him.

Not being able, you know...

Not mine, actually. I think Abed took out a page on Craigslist.

Not out here.

Not that i need the grade or even want it!

Nothing like bedding a woman

Nothing says, "I'm a pig", like you.

Now about that question that I had...

Now everyone's back to being a bunch of regular schnooks,

Now he'll have his pick of the litter and...

Now he's barking.

Now he's joining football.

Now I like you.

Now it's a falcon with an erection.

Now let's meet the minimum requirements

Now this was a fine enough way to spend an evening devoid of hope,

Now we have this between us!

Now what you can do is go home

Now you're not playing, and you're not.

Now, I don't want to have any conversations

Now, Jeff, just by asking that,

Now, say someone were to remove it.

Now...close them and throw them away.

Of a month long text message affair with a dude from boulder.

Of animals today because my cat is sick.

Of course, we didn't have the same safety standards back then so...

Of course. Anytime. Ever

Of creativity,

Of her entire damn mind.

Of pierce doing jumping jacks.

Of the events of yesterday?

Of the random deceit is apparently of great importance.

Of thumbnailing a human being prototype

Oh, Abed, you're like the best.

Oh, also, should we make special jackets

Oh, and for your information, I don't have an ego.

Oh, and... my ex therapist

Oh, Annie, screw him!

Oh, are you going to the bathroom?

Oh, Britta, I wasn't trying to hurt your feelings.

Oh, Dean, I'm gonna get some more coffee.

Oh, everything. You look handsome.

Oh, figuratively speaking.

Oh, good. That's nice.

Oh, he's cool.

Oh, hey Hey, jeff.

Oh, I can hear those fingers calling my name.

Oh, I can help you with that, your honor.

Oh, I wouldn't dream of it.

Oh, I'm sure I don't have a chance with him.

Oh, let's strike that.

Oh, my god, my life is degrassi high.

Oh, okay, i

Oh, that makes it worse. [Laughs]

Oh, that's nice!

Oh, there's one down. nine to go.

Oh, wait, i gave a quarter to a dirty bum today.

Oh, wait. Before you go.

Oh, we're not gonna get caught.

Oh! Speaking of love,

Oh.

Oh. Are you finished?

Oh. Goodness.

Oh. Oh, dear.

Oh. You can keep that bone.

OK...

Okay, but, uh, never again.

Okay, guys, seriously, we've talked about this, okay?

Okay, I need to go.

Okay, I think we're set for the quiz.

Okay, if someone from the outside were to find out

Okay, okay, if you're not in this study group, please.

Okay, thank you. That's great, Abed.

Okay, we can banter if we want to banter,

Okay, we have to quarantine you. We got to get you to a safe distance

Okay, what's it called?

Okay.

Okay. let's begin.

Okay. time to learn some formal greetings.

Okay. What's the closest planet to Earth?

On a shirley walk, i'd be winded by that stoner tree.

On getting involved in this.

On more hour, do not scratch my car.

On september 11th.

On the back of your registration form?

On the condition that she receives

On the school song committee. are you a musician?

On the vinyl backseat of a Skylark

On your backpacks and hairstyles

Once it gets dark,

One liner.

One on each side, and i go both ways.

One, two, luis guzman! oh!

Only when we stop stopping our lives

Onto a piece of paper.

Ooh, i'm getting a text.

Ooh! I left the nose in the kiln.

Ooh.

Ooh. Ow.

Open your textbooks to page 37.

Or an adult, because children get pity when not respected.

Or any other creed.

Or because I'm not a small nippled,

Or even being a cog in it.

Or everyone fails. no!

Or is it really christmas?

Or jefe.

Or keep getting involved in each other's personal lives?

Or mr. miyagi here will wax off everyone's score

Or pancakes!

Or the draw them in sneeze.

Or the lights go out and the ice cream melts.

Or tv shows to talk to people anymore.

Or were you worried that might freak him out?

Or you won't just fail my class,

Or, "screw education," or something like that,

Otherwise known as a crib sheet.

Our assignment.

Our group is controlled by chicken,

Our judges include myself, uh, dean craig pelton.

Our symbol needs to reflect the diversity of our school

Outrageous.

Ow!

Particularly carlito's way, the cowboy way, the hard way,

Particularly the part about your husband

People been clowning me about this jacket since I got here,

People can find the good

People wanna know that after meeting him He is angry.

People were jazzed to see me too.

Pianist and songwriter sitting 3 feet away from you.

Pick one reference, Abed.

Pierce and Troy didn't get along at first,

Pierce, I don't need you in my band.

Pierce, I got an idea.

Pierce, okay.

Pierce, stop trying to coin the phrase,

Pierce, you're a b.

Pierce! Pierce, give me your ear Thing.

Pierce's hackneyed entourage.

Planet Hollywood.

Playing you out now, this song.

Please don't do a special episode about me.

Please rename that thing!

Probably because I actually care.

Professor duncan! Professor duncan!

Professor whitman.

Professor, will you look at the amount of work

Profound, but technically meaningless.

Psychological counseling on a weekly basis

Put your Stop writing!

Put your pen Give me that!

Quick. take off your shoes. everyone, take your shoes off.

Randi can be the name of a guy or a girl.

Randi?

Ready to get started? The rest of your group showed up.

Real stories... They don't have spoilers.

Really?

Really? Because I'm an 18 year old girl,

Really? Name one.

Remember when you pretended to be my backpack?

Report to security to claim your tickets.

Reporters are gonna be there.

Rest of the group is running late.

Resulting in a surprisingly predictable

Ride the horses with the really long hammers?

Right

Right? yeah.

Right.

Rise, rise, rise above the programming.

Run up the steps and...

Same as a 45 year old, except he doesn't get as tired.

Save some for me!

Save the table! save the table!

Say "streets ahead" and die.

Say there are two friends and they're in the same class

Say to that person,

Saying good bye to Britta

Saying she turns you on is the harassment, dude.

Sculpting that in your face.

Secondly, you are not good at this,

Security has been given binoculars.

See how good i am?

See that, girls?

See ya.

See you Friday. Find your partners. Have a great day.

See you, Travis.

See,

See, I did switch cards.

See, Jeff, this is a chart of the features

Seize the day, jeff, for real.

Seven times.

Sexually harassing?

Shadowy flight into the world of a man who does not exist.

Shake 'em in your mind, okay?

Shaking. Write that down.

Share him with the rest of the world.

Shared my chicken with him.

Sharks don't even observe shark week, but we do.

She and I are gonna get makeovers at that Spa...

She doesn't want to succeed

She has two older brothers. One of 'em works with children.

She just told me in the shower,

She looked back.

She made it! ha ha!

She may walk like she just got off a horse,

She probably just, you know,

She realized she was happier being poor and rising four boys with Kurt Russell

She said I was cute.

She sounds like a chicken finger.

She thinks she's gonna flunk her test, so she focuses.

She thought i was gonna make fun of him,

She was the "typhoid mary" of herpes.

She was the leg man and distributor.

She'd go to hell.

She's a good kid.

She's a pot stirrer.

She's driven. We need driven people

She's got a problem. She stirs the pot.

She's sorry if she seems cold.

She's ugly.

Shh, shh, shh.

Shh! Voicemail.

Shirley has earned our respect,

Shirley, how's it going with the sexy dreadlock guy?

Shirley, will you please come to the bathroom with me?

Shirley's just doing her homework.

Shirley's not coming.

Shock the room into silence sneeze.

Shouldn't be too hard to fake a study group, right?

Shouldn't we address Annie's concern? Did we not invite her?

Shouldn't you be rolling around on a bed covered in test answers?

Shouldn't you guys be studying?

Show him your license.

Since when won't you talk about vaughn?

Sir, you have a right to your faith

Six fingers every Wednesday.

Six fingers wednesdays.

Sixteen candles.

Smooth move, metamucil. troy could do the school song.

Snakes. What?

So Right.

So boy, i don't know about you,

So called...

So cute.

So don't question señor Chang or you'll get bit.

So either I'm God or truth is relative.

So from now on,

So gracias on that. De nada.

So how do you like So you've got a kid, right?

So I asked you not to talk to him and you completely ignored me.

So I came up with a system and pretty soon

So i can sell my baked goods and whatnot on the internet.

So I could have some chicken.

So I did the only thing I could think of.

So I had a pretty impressive resume.

So I took the easy way out.

So i'm angry. Oh!

So I'm impressed.

So i'm just going to be up front.

So if you wanna come back upstairs.

So is wiping your butt with a leaf, but it's not how a man gets around!

So just let me know next time

So pick up your pompoms, pierce,

So she goes out of her way to fail.

So take that yale. [chuckles]

So that means the person with the card with the word casa on it is her partner.

So this rap goes out, To stupid Vaughn

So we had anything we wanted.

So we should still study

So we'll probably start in about five minutes.

So what is my lawyer doing here?

So what's up with you, Jeffrey? Seems like you got a burr up your ass.

So what's your deal?

So whoever could get them had power.

So why don't you and I go study over...

So you have to have it done by then.

So.

So... black?

So... Troy is gonna play football.

Some people don't like getting involved

Somebody had to get something to me very fast.

Somebody's been taking a little extra.

Someone with hair.

Something's gotta be done.

Sometimes I just roll around campus like a little football.

Sometimes I like to pour hot cocoa mix into cold milk

Sometimes I think I'm doing something wrong.

Somewhat for the sake of the family,

Sorry to disturb you guys...

Sorry you've been waiting 26 hours.

Sorry, guys. They ran out again.

Sorry.

Sorry. Just my luck.

Sorry. Look at the person sitting next to you.

Soup?

Spanish?"

Star burns that means you.

Star burns had basically brought it on himself.

Star burns works the fryer and skims fingers.

Star quarterback from Riverside High... whoa.

Starting now.

Starting with me inventing the ferrari.

Startle passersby with your ability to talk.

Stay with me.

Still got it.

Stop it, Troy.

Stop! That's my house!

Streets ahead!

Streets ahead.

Stuff your bra, and get ready for the team bus

Stupid and ugly, he smell like a fart,

Support each other and... discreetly eliminate waste.

Suppose I was to say to you it was possible to get those answers?

Supposed to be, like, "miles ahead"?

Sure, i'll do it, chandler.

Sure.

Surprisingly, and gratuitously critical of Israel.

Surrounded by sweater wearing cats

Swooped right in. I couldn't believe it.

T bone was the bag man.

Take a pottery class or something.

Talking about your interesting personal lives and your cool emotional problems.

Tape over your mouth.

Tell him you'll make love to him if he takes a shower

Tell me the truth, I like you. Lie to me, I will never talk to you.

Tell that boy how you feel!

Tell you it's name is Steve, and go like this.

Tell you what, you take her. I have less to prove.

Text message.

Than live what is happening to her.

Than that family on good times.

Thank you

Thank you all for coming.

Thank you so much. I didn't mean to snap.

Thanks for bringing me here.

Thanks for calming everyone down. But since you're not a Spanish tutor,

Thanks for coming. bye bye.

Thanks for offering to help design the new mascot.

Thanks for talking to me, Britta.

Thanks for your advice about "a night under the stars"

Thanks for your help.

Thanks, coach

Thanks, you guys. bring it in here.

Thanks.

Thanks. Later.

Thanks...

That actually was from the Breakfast club.

That among your school's prestigious alumni

That are owned by women.

That asserted dominance.

That beige is a little light.

That boy's living in his car.

That cannot be an inspiring journey.

That cannot be comfortable for you.

That correspondence schools make fun of.

That could have a negative impact on my future career.

That didn't come out right.

That doesn't sound fair to me at all.

That dude is crazy... He told me girls have two pee holes.

That explains everything.

That featured an entourage.

That fell apart because of unresolved tension.

That forces people to think about how cool you think you are.

That gets mad at him for making people laugh.

That green Tea Drinking drum circler

That guy's really got your number.

That he's thinking a little bit more intensely

That I am a student at a community college,

That i took the time personally

That i was hanging out with vaughn.

That i was told would help me...focus,

That i'm playing the role of his mother.

That i'm putting into this?

That is "girl" for "talk to Vaughn".

That is Hawthorne as in Hawthorne wipes, the award winning moist towellete.

That is the ladies' room, Britta,

That is the stain of a teardrop over the word "rad."

That it's time for ours to become a man.

That kind of distance with "ooh, that's nice."

That little arab is off his rocker.

That means see you there.

That means you, sexy dreadlocks,

That most people don't notice or think about.

That ms. perry was pretty odd before the recess

That negatively stereotypes arabs.

That one of the benefits of being a lying creep

That passes through this class is changed.

That song was disrespectful to me and to the definition of "rhyme scheme".

That sport where the British people

That this young lady's only crime

That totally ignored the only people that truly liked him

That Troy Barnes is playing football here.

That was one of the worst things I have ever seen,

That was really fun.

That was so harsh and hurtful

That was the minute you had a chicken in your hand.

That we easily walked more than 100 yards

That we're going to be starting the experiment

That when you made that u turn on the freeway

That will help me run the family restaurant.

That would've been great if I had done that two hours ago!

That you are putting us at risk of electrocution.

That your only crime was loving America.

That'll make the devil poop god's pants.

That's a falcon with a gun.

That's a nice shirt. Want to sell it?

That's a very honest answer.

That's all it is. tiny piece of paper.

That's ancient and secret

That's been mutilated.

That's crazy!

That's exactly what it's like, Abed,

That's funny.

That's good.

That's half our problem right there.

That's him failing your standards.

That's not a very nice way to treat your friends.

That's not good.

That's not made anymore.

That's not the right answer.

That's practically learning, for god's sakes.

That's racist.

That's right.

That's right. i'm a woman with rights.

That's the most racist thing i've ever heard.

That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.

That's the qualifying factor.

That's the real question, isn't it?

That's the winger guarantee.

That's what a real boss does.

That's what people don't get,

That's what you bought

That's what you heard.

That's what's weak.

That's where we got the idea from.

The "Greendale Human Being".

The "Greendale Thunderdome".

The [deafening sneeze]

The animals that you are eating,

The assignment is

The bad news is I could not patch up things between you.

The condo board's trying to bluff me by listing my place as available.

The costume makes it difficult for him to see.

The crazy thing was it was their food

The day that I convinced 12 of yours peers

The deadline to enroll is tomorrow.

The debate over our library's PA system continues

The dome arrives later. It comes with thunder.

The duncan principle is simple.

The entire campus is controlled by our group,

The field is always open.

The fix was in.

The fryer wouldn't work...

The girls, the glory, the scouts, the career!

The goat's mustache is Cameron Diaz.

The guy has the powers and strength of a spider.

The guy playing bejeweled on his iPhone all class has a study group?

The guy with the tiny nipples you did it with

The humanoid is approximately 5'10" in height.

The idea that you compulsively filter yourself

The important thing is that you are the only one there for him.

The important thing is that you are there for him.

The last time you skipped a trip to the dentist?

The less you have, the more you can be. You know what I'm saying?

The longer they wait, the harder they break.

The minute before you thought about busting us,

The moment.

The monkey's name is "annie's boobs."

The more control lost by the ego,

The more gained by the id,

The more you take and use, the more it sends.

The motto of this class: carpe diem

The next person that offers me charity or pity

The old man grabbed me, he said, "Hey, smoke up, Johnny!"

The only humane thing to do would be to give you a C

The only real cheater

The only thing that's important is this.

The penis is a little small, I think.

The people we love.

The point is is that britta is sorry, right?

The poo poo in his pants and poo poo in my heart.

The pool area!

The premise alone is priceless.

The primary purpose seems to be male bonding,

The problem right now is that he's calling me "babe."

The question is: What do they deserve?

The same compassion that you extend to sharks, pencils, and Ben Affleck.

The satisfaction of being even.

The scoreboard lights up.

The soul train awards were tonight.

The state bar has suspended my license.

The team's name is the "Human Beings"?

The tools you acquired to survive will not help you here at Greendale.

The two week anniversary of my horrible first impression.

The universe goes by supply and demand.

The wheels of justice here don't stop

The world wasn't the only thing that changed

The worst part of it is when it's over...

Then he goes to school, Where he's stupid again

Then i made the switch to green tea.

Then i pay for the class.

Then say good bye to E.T.

Then we're gonna take this,

Then we're the ones with the chicken.

Then you may join the lab. [Squeals]

Then you will be seizing an "f" for the semester.

There ain't nothing left to woo.

There are guys out there that would kill to be with you.

There is just one of every kind of you, isn't there?

There is just... boy!

There is nowhere to go but up.

There was a scout coming to the final game at Riverside

There will be a scoreboard there.

There you go.

There's a communal bathroom down the hallway.

There's a generic whack job, bouncing up and down

There's a guy trying out for this team that is older than the game of poker

There's a piano in the rehearsal space,

There's a silver lining here, isn't there?

There's a valve on the back of the chicken fryer

There's more. There's a middle card missing.

There's no tests. there's no work.

There's one asian stereotype that does apply to me.

There's only one black hole worth studying.

There's something that the group would like to tell you talk to you about.

There's still not enough chicken fingers.

These are mint condition issues.

These guys knew you like I did, they'd have given you a small office.

These look like..

These stupid chicken fingers, huh?

These were mine?

These were the bad times.

They are my body parts!

They call me "tattle Ina." It's a bumblebee nickname.

They could do something on campus.

They deploy thingsin football, right?

They didn't have college ruled?

They found out my college degree was less than legitimate.

They have more lactic acid than us.

They never really had stories together.

They replaced the "c" in circle with a "z" for zucchini.

They say it just like that.

They sure have us programmed, right?

They were spoiled, fat, lazy.

They will be...

They'd hand the stuff out the window to Annie.

They'll act like he isn't star burns

They're always running out.

They're calling it "A night under the stars".

They're like real movies, but with ugly people.

They're not as understanding as christians.

They're pretty good. This isn't weird for you?

They're showing all four indiana joneses at the vista.

They're the only good thing in the cafeteria.

They're trying to impress their high school's prom king.

Things got kind of boring after you left.

Things went back to normal.

Think how much happier the Jeffersons were

Think I've been to this dance before.

Think my mom might visit this weekend.

Thinking maybe fridays, nine ish, something like that.

This a date? You'll need these.

This condo is all that's left of me.

This day could be your last!

This friday, we will be dedicating a statue of guzman

This guy has wisdom to offer.

This has been about me the whole time.

This has the potential

This is insane.

This is my definition of you trying way too hard,

This is my first college girl so I really want to impress her.

This is no way to teach accounting!

This is Pavel. He lives next door. He's from Poland.

This is the arrogant jock

This is the first time people'll see Winger and Hawthorne together.

This is the least tight thing that's ever happened to me

This is your dean reminding you

This is your definition of friendship?

This isn't a table.

This isn't even the only study group i've had this year.

This isn't like Breakfast club. Now it's like Stripes or Meatballs.

This isn't over

This isn't the real you.

This rap is by Pierce, Vaughn is dumb

This song goes out to annie.

This song's for Pierce 'cause he's so old

This tribunal is adjourned.

This troop's got a case of the giggles, huh?

This was the glorious time.

Those are credible alien hand movements.

Those faucets are beautiful.

Threw the skin around a couple of times.

Throat surgery might humanize you,

Throw it away!

Throw it away! [laughs]

Throw them across the room over there.

Throw them away

Time for our presentations.

Time out! time out!

Tiny bullfighters.

To to make it look like you have bed head?

To analyze that handwriting against past exams.

To be a uniquely Greendale experience.

To be crazy at greendale?

To be largely constructive and flattering,

To care about the stupid stuff she cares about.

To cut your power off at its source.

To flush his life down football's toilet again?

To forget you at a taco bell, because life is tough.

To hear what's in this range,

To instruct you in something

To keep the list of applicants to a minimum.

To keep the wheels from squeaking.

To listen... girl.

To people?

To replace auto workers?

To the "empowerage" of words.

To the group?

To the irony of that sentence.

To this dorm room is what would prevent you

To turn Greendale around.

To us, lines were for suckers,

To victory.

To write a Spanish conversation using those five phrases.

Today, we learn to walk!

Together: the fourth one blows.

Together.

Tomorrow night? Dinner, drinks.

Tomorrow there's a picnic with live music on the East lawn.

Too awesome for old Pierce

Too mature to sit in a class

Top.

Total rip off.

Travis is his middle name.

Troy even applied for the same job

Troy invited rap music,

Troy isn't interested in football anymore.

Troy, all of your friends are lining up

Troy, did you get my text message?

Troy, did you know that Greendale has a football team?

Troy, I was so sorry to hear about your injury.

Troy, I've been waiting for an hour.

Troy, isn't that

Troy, wait! I have to tell you...

Troy, why do you have a monkey?

Troy! Stop!

Troy! Troy, Troy, Troy.

Troy! Troy!

Troy! You could be an astronomer.

Troy.

Trump tower, this is Donald.

Truth is my life is emptier than this three ring binder.

Trying?

Tv never abused and insulted me,

Tv never came home drunk.

Tv never forgot me at the zoo.

Tv's the best dad there is.

Two cute white people, going to school together,

Two young students.

Uh, crack of dawn, 5:58 a.m.

Uh, first of all, i cannot be got,

Uh, it's an animal that looks like a dude.

Uh, let's do something for little people.

Uh, mr

Uh, the words, i can't tell you.

Uh, they're not stupid.

Um, here's the thing.

Um, how long were you standing there?

Um, I think it's

Um, Pierce, that's the dean.

Unbelievable.

Unfortunately, I don't know what to do about the mascot.

Unfortunately, the very thing that drove you

Unless you count Cop Rock.

Unless you're a jerk.

Until i find out who did...this!

Until i met you.

Until the press announces that Troy is a part of the team.

Until then, would you excuse us?

Untutorable.

Unwittingly creepy.

Up on your desk.

Up, up, up, up, up! come on.

Us? No. He's my very good friend.

Use your lady parts.

Using some of the phrases we learned in unit one.

Using your lawyer powers

Vaughn's breath is so bad, His butts mad at his mouth

Voice command! [beep]

Voice command. [beep]

Wait, is that what you thought i meant?

Wait, no, I don't, because I warned you

Wait, so this is a game to you?

Wait...

Waiting for a superstar to notice you

Wallet, and keys with me

Wanna see my place?

Want me to check you for grass stains?

Want me to, uh,

Was going out the side door.

Was the best thing that ever happened to him.

Was the guy that made things happen.

Was the hardest thing to do.

Was this your idea? What the hell? Fire

Waster! Not a bathroom!

Watch out!

Watch the kite. uh oh.

We are developing the perfect mascot.

We are the "Greendale Human Beings".

We both have a class across campus, and i can't go

We can sympathize with a pencil. We can forgive a shark.

We cool.

We could talk to him as a group about his tardiness.

We could trust them not to eat the supply

We don't blame you. He has always been on my watch list.

We don't want another "Vanessa Parsons" on our hand.

We go with him?

We gonna take this, and we gonna put it in a museum for crazy people.

We got it.

We have a situation.

We have an agreement.

We have campus security on the take.

We have something incredibly long,

We know it's not how you do it cause we're doing everything.

We may be watching different mafia movies.

We probably shouldn't even be talking to him

We put tape over our mouths,

We should wait for Jeff before we start studying.

We should've hung out more in high school.

We show them we're a force to be reckoned with.

We were designed, by whatever entity you choose,

We were just talking about how in today's economy...

We were testing to see how long people would wait in the room.

We were wolves.

We won't think about our chubby thighs or whether or not we can have babies.

We would love for you to play for the "Human Beings".

We wouldn't regret it. And Shirley.

We'll be in touch, janel.

We'll refer to each other by our Spanish nombres.

We're gonna unveil the new mascot.

We're just, uh, we're just chillin'.

We're staying away from... Pan Asian eye folds,

We're studying, so Troy's busy.

We're the only species on Earth that observes shark week.

We've been living on the wrong side of the looking glass.

We've each got an issue balled up that would make us cry

We've got a bond going, kind of. Sorta like brothers

We've got a shouter. Aah!

We've solved racism. What's next?

Wealthy, assertive, arrogant. Got manicures all the time.

Well played Pierce.

Well, 2002 was a simpler time.

Well, a lot of these students

Well, britta's paying for those classes.

Well, buckle up, Troy. I was exaggerating.

Well, he can deep fry the hell out of chicken.

Well, I also pay income tax and pull over for cops,

Well, I may not eat meat,

Well, i owe you.

Well, i think it's pretty obviously annie.

Well, I wouldn't know.

Well, it certainly sounds to me

Well, it is your study group, so.

Well, look at this group having some kind of meeting

Well, me.

Well, that's crazy.

Well, that's sort of my gimmick.

Well, that's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.

Well, the galaxy's not going anywhere.

Well, then you should know that nothing says "I'm a woman"

Well, this teenage boy is a quarterback and a prom king.

Well, tough.

Well, we are missing a pipsqueak,

Well, we'll always have "tiny nipples."

Well, why not?

Well, yes, yes, I would.

Well, you'll apply for the job

Well, you've heard all kinds of things.

Well...

Were you conditioned to pay for your damn tacos, Sein field?

Were you waiting?

What a shame. We should get started...

What a sweet little caramel angel you are?

What about good cars, good lobster?

What about that...

What advances?

What an entrance i got to make there.

What are the odds?

What are you doing?

What are you doing? That was the Jeffersons, honky.

What are you saying?

What can I do?

What do I get?

What do we do about the ending of act two?

What do we say at the end of every class?

What do you think?

What do you want to do?

What does a star turn into after it collapses?

What does your life mean?

What I meant to say

What I need to know about the Universe

What if Troy did play for Greendale?

What in the hell?

What is community college?

What is going on in there?

What is he doing?

What is that?

What is wrong with you?

What kind of an offer is that?

What message are we sending?

What the hell is going on?

What the hell, man?

What was it?

What were you close to?

What you have, my friend, is a second chance at an honest life.

What?

What? She's offended?

What? That makes no sense to me.

What'd you say?

What's a guy got to do to get a C around here?

What's all that?

What's going on? Can you guys hear me?

What's in that container?

What's the deal with the hot girl from Spanish class?

What's the moist towelette industry like?

What's wrong with your voice?

What's your deal and is God dead?

Whatever they want and leave each other out of it.

Whatever.

When Annie brought you up, he specifically asked,

When i wanted to quit cheerleading.

When i was a ceo,

When you come after Pierce, Then the battle is on

When you intentionally tangled yourself in his life

When you played, you were a god.

When you say something starts at 9:00,

When you talk about us

When you're spending way too much time on your hair,

Where are we supposed to go?

Where is the library?

Where they walk away and make the guy feel like crap,

Where two of the girls did the packaging.

Where you sometimes have to cat Sit?

Where's Shirley?

Where's the different poster design?

Where's the soul?

Which has its own built in sound system,

Which I guess makes being a part of it a pretty selfless act,

Which i just learned in the awkward conclusion

Which I modeled after da Vinci's Vitruvian Man.

Which is something you'll finally discover while we are working on this.

Which is weird, because you're doing the actual hunting

Which is why I went with the full bodies

Which means I'll be getting rid of these.

Which reminds me, the only thing not included in this

Which you no longer have.

While I work at some problems with my condo.

While i'm telling everybody at church

While others question its very purpose.

Who are clearly looking at a naked drawing

Who are trained to use human toilets?

Who cares who made the crib sheet?

Who did it, huh?

Who emerges from a bush.

Who left me with nothing but stretch marks

Who lost his scholarship by dislocating both shoulders in a keg stand.

Who needs platinum faucets?

Who's "erratic and unstable" now,

Who's just here to coast and grab an easy "a."

Who's written greendale its own school song.

Who's your drinking buddy.

Whoa there, grabby grabby.

Whoa, whoa, whoa... What happened to the prototype?

Whoa!

Whoa! Yoko Ono much?

Whoa.

Whoever did this insulted my honor.

Whoever is growing a small patch of cannabis behind the gymnasium,

Whoever made that crib sheet wasn't a real cheater.

Whoo!

Why ? What is taking so long?

Why am I still shouting?

Why are people trying to teach me things

Why are there costumes involved? These are short conversations,

Why are you doing a politically conservative

Why are you dressed like an '80s rapist?

Why are you giving Chang chicken?

Why are you wearing tape over their mouth?

Why can't you see that for the compliment that it is?

Why did I have to find out about this group on accident?

Why did the pretty young girl die alone

Why do we inflict so much pain on ourselves

Why don't I have ten of them?

Why don't we go get a beer? I'll give you some advice,

Why don't we try learning "jukebox" in Spanish?

Why is the dinosaur rocking a picture of my poem?

Why not martial arts?

Why not math?

Why not photography?

Why should he? Jeff's so not...

Why this whole mess got started

Why will you not answer me?

Why won't he leave?

Why won't you answer me?

Why would I harass somebody who turns me on?

Why would you not bring a pen to class?

Why, why, why?

Will be mentioned by name in my suicide note.

Will ever come to visit his statue?

Will it be just a semester though?

Will they or won't they? Sexual tension.

Will yield certain advantages.

Will you have some self respect?

With "T".

With a cheating, lying poop face!

With a misguided grasp of abbreviation.

With anyone whose time I've wasted more than they've wasted mine.

With chicken fingers.

With his cute little baby sneezes.

With just enough cream to make it a Lou Diamond Phillips.

With me. Oh.

With no awkward pauses,

With nothing underneath the surface.

With radar dishes coming out of their ear.

With some students suggesting its volume be lowered,

With that drunken, self immolating baby boomer.

With the biggest man on campus.

With your hip shirts,

Without checking with Abed.

Without doing my due diligence.

Without having to go through all this crap.

Women have always hated me.

Won't listen to your reason.

Won't you be taking the easy way out for the next four years?

Wood undergoes rapid oxidation

Word.

Would that item be impervious to sabotage?

Would you like one?

Would you like to come with me?

Would you mind helping me shop for this stuff?

Wouldn't that make it seem like I was right?

Wow.

Wowee! ha ha! [laughing]

Ya bit!

Ya bit.

Yeah, because it would be my mirror.

Yeah, but Annie said...

Yeah, but they're filtered, so that makes them safe.

Yeah, but your kitchen's being towed.

Yeah, I agreed to give Cheng eight fingers per lunch

Yeah, I got you fired.

Yeah, i'm gonna write this down too, actually.

Yeah, it's pretty cool being friends

Yeah, man.

Yeah, maybe I should do that.

Yeah, untutorable.

Yeah, we put you in that job.

Yeah, whatever.

Yeah, you heard me say it.

Yeah!

Yeah? That's pretty hot.

Yeah.

Yeah. Clearly

Yeah. Cool. You want the top or the bottom bunk?

Yeah. My idea.

Yeah. Song's about me.

Yeah. Yeah.

Yep.

Yes, and I do not believe a single word I am saying for me.

Yes, but I need to go to the bathroom first.

Yes, i can do it by friday. great!

Yes, I'm so sorry.

Yes, in a '90s ski movie

Yes!

Yes.

You accused me of being jealous.

You all have to stop working for him.

You already know Brittles. Abed.

You and I were thinking the same thing.

You and your pillow lipped girlfriend

You are a good man.

You are a shallow douchebag.

You are all better than you think you are.

You are just designed not to believe it when you hear it from yourself.

You are new. yes, i'm new.

You ask him to pass the salt, he gives you a bowl of soup,

You backed the wrong horse. i got nothing.

You better bring a powerful ass.

You can do this. i believe in you.

You can get your head cut off with a salami sword.

You can look down and think,

You can't pursue people so desperately.

You could be facing expulsion.

You could die in your sleep.

You could even use a sneeze to drive home a point even.

You could get hit by a bus.

You could start with this journalist Chacata Panecos.

You could. Love is a gamble always.

You couldn't stop me from watching them.

You deserved it.

You did an all right job up there, my friend.

You did.

You didn't hurt my feelings, Shirley.

You don't even want to be my friend.

You don't get a diamond.

You don't have to play shrink to protect your pride.

You don't have to yell. I don't appreciate your tone.

You don't know... I'm a legend.

You don't really have tickets for ravi shankar, do you?

You don't sit on a toilet like that until you've left the material world.

You dropped your books, poindexter. Yeah!

You ever miss being a quarterback, Troy?

You get fired and we all go back to eating like britta.

You get on that horse.

You got caught with a fake bachelor's degree.

You got me.

You got that?

You got the most you were ever gonna get out of football

You got this thing you do with your face when you're trying to be funny

You gotta ride the line between believable and

You guys are laughing at me, aren't you?

You guys are really dorming it up in here, huh?

You guys are sexual partners, right?

You guys aren't gonna believe this, but the rest of the group...

You guys need to hash this stuff out.

You guys realize he was beaten to death, right?

You guys want to know what they're doing?

You hang the Chacata Panecos piñata.

You have any more agreements, all right?

You have any Spanish notes that might fit in there?

You have asperger's.

You have become something unstoppable.

You have been sexually harassing me since the very first day of class.

You have destroyed the duncan principle!

You have got to turn off your cell...

You have insulted the integrity of this entire institution.

You have no intention of seizing the day.

You have to come out here to pretend

You invented a whole language.

You jumped a column. What's happening there?

You just get a turd with less direction in life.

You just have to know her name. What is she, a water filter?

You just study for, like, an hour. It's not that hard.

You keep getting married.

You know about the ethnic cleansing in Burma?

You know that keg flip that cost me my scholarship?

You know what he did that's really crazy?

You know what I don't appreciate?

You know what I mean?

You know what makes humans different from other animals?

You know what they would go great with: a home,

You know what today is?

You know what?

You know what? I'm good.

You know what? you really shouldn't be here right now.

You know, a note like that.

You know, bluffs this weak are how your people lost the colonies.

You know, but you see these guys out there

You know, downgrading your lifestyle is your chance to grow as a person.

You know, greendale may never be...

You know, I did think those were less than personable,

You know, I didn't... realize before,

You know, I've never been fired from a job

You know, like on stage? playing you out, okay?

You know, like, the explosive,

You know, the blonde with the pouty, strident

You know, the rest is really a surprise.

You know, there's books. there's meals

You know, there's specialists you could talk to.

You know, Wednesdays and Sundays

You know... [gasping convulsively]

You lied to me!

You like Thai food? I love it.

You like vaughn, right?

You little twerp.

You look like a high school bitch.

You look like Elisabeth Shue.

You look like you moved out.

You lose the jacket to please them. You keep it to piss them off.

You make the fingers, Abed, not the decisions.

You may have noticed, not so good at the small talk.

You may want to think about the gift you've been given.

You miss the taste of control.

You need to let him make his own decisions.

You need to pee alone.

You need to sentence her to staying here with us.

You people turned out to be.

You promised butt stuff!

You pull around front and comedically

You put human beings

You put on the study group's contact sheet was fake,

You ready, amigo?

You really did a number on him.

You really don't know much about genius, do you?

You remind me of myself at your age.

You said sunday. I have a question for you.

You said Weiner. That's funny.

You said you wanted someone in your entourage named Travis.

You said you were close?

You see the turban guy?

You see those ladies over there?

You see, jeff, there are certain things

You see, the waiting is the experiment

You see? i mean, it just comes out.

You seem pretty smart. You got a sports coat.

You should discover that stuff on your own.

You should try accepting where you're at, man.

You starting to get what I mean?

You still have a chance.

You still know what to think, Troy.

You sure you don't want a piece of that?

You sure you made the right call on the football team, Troy?

You tell me I'm trying too hard to be your friend so you have to go.

You think astronauts go to the moon because they hate oxygen?

You think that's good,

You think you're gonna save my bacon

You thought...

You told me

You understand that tv and life are different, right?

You want a shot at the Jeff winger throne?

You want an "a"?

You want me to do your homework,

You want that? How you like that?

You want to be sheep, keep flocking.

You want to be wolves, form a pack.

You want to boss me around?

You want to hear it? here.

You want to know my deal?

You want to trade cards?

You were may more attracted to me than you were willing to admit.

You were on top of the world before

You were right, people got sick of chicken.

You were right.

You were right. But what can we do?

You will see that our subjects

You won't ever see that again.

You worked in your dad's restaurant, right?

You would be britta perry.

You would eat them even faster

You would realize she is all the way out

You would've been fine with me staying there forever?

You wouldn't threaten a monkey.

You wrinkled my brain, man.

You, that mole is raised and dark.

You'd be surprised

You'd be surprised what gets back to these guys.

You'll agree with this transformer here

You'll be partnering up in pairs of dos.

You'll fail life.

You'll find a card with either a picture or a word on it.

You're a very photogenic man.

You're bailing on our first sausage fest?

You're cute,

You're Goldie Hawn, Jeff.

You're gone.

You're gonna be fry cook.

You're gonna be there?

You're gonna do an awesome job!

You're gonna eat those words when you see my new car.

You're gonna need a backup battery.

You're harmless enough to me cause a life full of ups and downs

You're hopelessly in love with him.

You're jealous of Abed because he's providing for us.

You're just doing all of this

You're just not as good at it yet.

You're like Jodie Foster or Susan Sarandon.

You're like the exact opposite of an antioxidant.

You're missing the headline.

You're not prom king anymore, Troy. This isn't Riverside High.

You're not tired of chicken.

You're not very pretty, you have no boobs,

You're not. You see what I'm saying?

You're obsessing over someone who does not give you a second thought.

You're really nice.

You're right.

You're right. Needs more work.

You're saying I could be a lawyer.

You're the best, Eduardo.

You're the one who got hooked on pills and dropped out.

You're the worst, Annie

You're very confident, i'll say that.

You're wearing your stupid letter jacket and more importantly,

You're welcome.

You've heard it's loser college for remedial teens,

You've just stopped being a study group.

You've never had anybody mess with you before?

Your case will be reviewed

Your ego.

Your face? it's bad. okay.

Your Lexus.

Your name... begins...

Your song. We wrote it together

5 after 11:00 when you asked.

9/11 was pretty much the 9/11 of the falafel business.

20 something dropouts,

85... Go long!

¿Donde vaughn ustedes los sábados?

'cause this is the scene where you leave.

's actually you, mr. winger.

'Scuse me! I did it, I did it!

"Ass burger". Burger for your ass.

"Gotcha"? That's all you have to say?

"Say you have to pee. I need to... " Do you have to pee?

"Say you have to pee". That is weird.

[Applauds]

[bang] silencio, por favor.

[clamorous sneeze]

[crying]

[Gasps] Wow.

[high pitched sneeze]

[high pitched sneeze] hey, troy sneezes like a girl.

[high pitched warble, humming]

[high pitched warble]

[Laughs]

[laughs] "a" plus, winger.

[Laughs] and so i told him...

[Laughs] he's like inspector gadget.

[laughs] i like it!

[Laughs] they were tiny.

[perky] good morning, professor whitman.

[quietly] i'm president obama's nephew.

[whispering] i made this all happen.

* give me some rope, time in a tree *

* green dale *

* greendale's the way it goes *

* how you like me now? *

* now there was a time *

* some things are still the same *

$70.

A 6 year old girl could talk that way. Because that would be adorable!

A chance to put miles on this shirt. Conversations are due in the morning.

a musician sees music in everything, annie.

A poem?

A white dwarf. That's right!

Aah! Oh, sorry.

abed is not normal.

abed may not be a great filmmaker,

Abed the arab. Is that inappropriate? Sure.

abed wants to study film.

abed, have you been racist this whole time

Abed, here.

abed, how's it going, buddy?

Abed, you know what I do? Hmm?

actually, i'm doing a movie about my dad.

After...

After... Dinner mints?

ah! jeff, jeff.

Ah! Okay. You need to bring two human subjects.

Ah. The duncan principle. Yes.

Ahh...

All hearing is sonic. What's that?

All right, but i just wanted to point out

all right, i am convening this disciplinary tribunal

All right. I'm gonna go check on britts.

and he has the right to stay.

And he's out. We got him.

and how about i pound you like a boy?

And how about that guy that's always around,

And it can't be an email attachment. Well, you've picked a fine school.

And panda has no pants. Hey.

and then she yelled, "screw you,"

And what makes frisbee ultimate?

Anything with Bill Murray, really. I agree tonight has been very special.

are they comfortable? yeah.

Are you kidding? Mm mm.

are you okay. oh, maybe i'm not.

Are you the board certified tutor? That means you do my homework, right?

Are you trying to Garfunkel me? Maybe.

ask him.

Aw, man, if i had a nickel

Awareness! It's not the school paper.

Baby. Sweetie.

because he called me on my cell phone.

because i wasted 15 years of my life on a man

Because you asked me to stay and you said we were friends.

Before we wrap up, i would like to thank you guys

Black hole. Right!

Bluuulll... Holy crap!

Board certified. Can you say that in Spanish now?

boo. an ordinary coffee for an ordinary life.

Britta is never gonna forgive me.

britta, um, it's amazing what you're doing for abed.

britta? that's it, that's it.

britta.

britta. jeff.

Britta's making the change to green tea.

busted. [chuckles]

But if, in spite of that, you are still interested,

But there was one evaluation

But they had good times. Well, do good times really matter?

but what about the hawthorne wipes jingle?

but you shouldn't be.

But you told me to bring subjects.

Can I touch both at oh! Yeah, do 'em both.

can we get sued? not sure.

Can you believe that? I can't.

Carrots

cheers. m.a.s.h.

Chicken run! Whoo!

Come on, jeff. What are we gonna talk about?

Come on, let's study. Sounds good.

communicate. have you met abed?

cool? cool. bam bam!

Cool? It's the coolest.

Cool.

Crap. Vaughn?

damn it.

day seized! we're even

day seized.

dean pelton, i move this case

Dean, a quick download, please? Uh, absolutely.

death...

definitely christmas.

Details!

Details! Mm Mmm!

Details. Mmmmmm! Mm Mmm.

did you do all of that to me on purpose?

did you hear him call me jackee

Did you know we walk the same way after class?

Dinner? Or drinks.

Do they do stuff to your butt? No.

Do you get paid more if they do stuff to your butt?

Do you know what?

Do you need a place to stay? I'd offer but my dad's kind of racist.

Do you see how often hacky sack takes his shirt off?

do you think luis guzman

does he know he stole it?

Domingo, pl

Don't go in there, man. What?

Done.

dreams are for sleeping. you don't know that.

drop the flower.

eew. no. i hired a local composer.

Eight fingers. Abed.

Even though you're an eight.

every time i try to ask him about it,

Excuse me. Okay. Fill me in later.

Excuse me. Oh, sorry, ladies.

Exploit them? They're my friends. You want me to bring your car around?

Faucets. Italian faucets, handcrafted.

fawlty towers. game over.

Fine! I'll do it! Thank you.

Fine. Give me your card. I want to wear it out of here.

fine. the tribunal calls teacher chang.

fine. you want to raise him, you raise him.

First of all... Mm hmm.

for someone who doesn't like getting involved,

garrett, it's over. he knows.

gentlemen, i'm sure you suspected...

gentlemen, point of order.

get your hand off my knee. sorry.

Give me my keys. I have to keep the car for the lesson.

Go home!

Go! Fine!

god god bless you. god bless you.

gonna play myself out.

Good bye. Good bye!

Good entrance. That was for you.

good morning, greendale community college.

Good night. Wait a minute.

good.

good. my film is coming together.

Got it.

Got rid of it.

Got the whole room. Here's the...

greendale, greendale,

greetings, abed

greetings, commander.

guys, guys, stop it. stop it.

Guys, you've met vaughn, right?

guys. yes.

had i not already cried at the sunrise this morning,

Hal holb not hal holbrook.

happened yesterday.

Has this always been here? You need to take Jeff back.

Have you seen it? We did it, girl... Page three.

He makes a lot of announcements. I like it,

He must have heard us call him inspector gadget

He needs to get back. What am I supposed to do about that?

He's crying.

He's good, huh? He's real good.

He's more like a puppy with a fish mouth.

he's not normal.

he's smoking.

Hello. You guys are lucky.

Here, read it.

Herpes?

hey, british dentistry is not on trial.

Hey, britta, hi. What's up?

hey, don't touch me!

Hey, guys, guys, guys?

Hey, hi, what's up, man? I'm vaughn.

Hey, i'm fine. How are

hey, if you show up with me, follow my lead,

hey, if you're making a documentary

Hey, look at the size of that woman's earrings.

hey, man, that stuff i said this morning wasn't true.

hey, man. my name's jeff.

Hey, no judgment, bro. I used to do coffee.

Hey, sorry about bailing on the psych experiment.

hey, troy. did you hear?

hey, um, you should kiss me right now.

Hey, vaughn, how's it going? No worries.

hey, wait a minute, where's weezer?

Hey, you two. Hey.

hey! you want to get involved in my family's business?

hillary, thank you for getting people coffee.

His words, not mine. He is paraphrasing.

Hmm.

holy...war.

Honestly, jeff, how dare you?

Honesty? Yes.

honey, let him leave the nest.

How about the friend level

How about you, abed? It's tomorrow.

how dare you terrorize a class by threatening their grades.

How do i respond to something like that?

how much does a film class cost?

How was that?

how's it going, buddy?

Huhh Aah! Aw!

i actually believe you.

i am calculating abed's expenses

I asked politely, and then panda took his pants off.

i can neither confirm nor deny that.

I can top that.

I can't believe you.

i did it. britta!

i didn't know if i could trust you.

I do not want to talk to you.

i don't like the fact that you're walking around here

I don't see why you and britta aren't together.

i don't think i'm really in the scene.

i don't think so. let him enjoy it.

i don't want to be your father.

I don't. You're not alone in this case.

i feel a little out of the loop here.

I find shirley very easy to talk to,

i get it.

I got band practice. Lates. Can't we still be friends?

i got that. no, you don't got it.

i have to plan in advance

I hurt myself on purpose. What?

I just got here. Cause you usually spend 20 minutes

I just got the first three because...

I know a lot of grown men

I know, and i'm sorry,

I know, and what is it with his hair?

i know!

I know! He's the worst! Vaughn?

i know! i steal everything.

I know.

i lied to get you here

I like big talk. What's your deal? That's not small talk?

I like green tea. I should make the change.

I love chalupas. But?

i may be naive, but i'm not stupid.

I need to call my babysitter. What board certifies a tutor?

i never thought you were.

I really need help with Spanish. I was willing to bet. I'm Jeff...

i talked to the dean,

i think you are really weird, abed.

i think you are weird, abed.

i thought there might be a quiz.

I thought you graduated from Columbia. Now I have to get one from America.

I want to protest the hell out of something. We could have a candlelight vigil

I was a lawyer. See? I'm already bored.

I was gonna ask. Also a toast master,

i was planning on doing that.

i was shooting my movie.

I wasn't sure how or when to bring up

I wonder what this express package could be?

i'd like to introduce our student, pierce hawthorne,

I'd love to. Really?

i'll do it. i love robin williams.

i'll have to make some adjustments to my film.

I'll look into it. Thank you.

i'm finished.

I'm flattered. Oh, well.

I'm getting rid of the b. She's a gdb

I'm getting rid of the b. She's a no good b.

I'm gonna get dessert. Want anything?

I'm gonna go save britta from that dude.

i'm in. me too. it sounds educational.

i'm interested in making movies.

i'm just a little worried.

i'm just curious. they're cute.

I'm just worried

I'm not 40.

I'm not gonna look back. Mm hmm.

i'm not gonna sit while some hokey tribunal

i'm okay. oh, come on. i got you.

I'm really glad that you're not hitting on me anymore.

I'm so glad to be able to talk to someone about this.

I'm sorry, but this guy's not moving.

I'm sorry? You're Goldie Hawn.

i'm sorry. do you mind if we have this conversation

I'm surprised he can read. Oh!

i've got problems of my own!

I've heard about your special psych lab.

i've seen men in your situation, troy.

if that's not enough time no, no, no!

if we talked about it. Have somethin balled up?

if you can tell me why you are here at greendale.

If you turn your attention to the monitor,

if you want to rehabilitate your fellow inmate,

If you would let me take your lab early,

In the meantime... Mm hmm?

Indiana jones. Cool.

Interesting. 'Cause i might be worried

interesting. hadn't seen the iraq metaphor, but

Is it on pause?

Is that a bidet? That part's for resale value.

is that a new camera? yeah.

Is that seal? That is our human color wheel.

is that your take? let me give you mine.

Is there a spot on the friendship spectrum

is this bruce hornsby? yep.

isn't abed's dad a hardcore muslim?

isn't borchart hall the pool?

it is not fair how hard it is for you to cheat here.

it is on like donkey kong!

it is? you've got an accomplished

It really helped. Seriously?

it would be less creepy

it's a notepad.

it's a study group and a pizza.

it's a tiny piece of paper, okay?

It's Britta. Forget her.

it's clinically proven. so's polio.

it's cool. our first assignment is a documentary.

It's in your blood! That's racist!

It's like Breakfast club? We are in a library.

it's not exactly citizen kane.

it's not the two of you that need to talk.

It's perpetually moist.

It's pretty tight. Tight. Yes.

it's probably arabic.

it's showtime.

jackpot. take off your shoes.

Jeff, wait! I'm sorry i sold you out

Jeff! Jeff!

just don't talk to me for a while.

Just like my Weiner. Ha ha.

Just pretend like you're asleep.

Lates! Lates. Okay.

Let's discuss this creepiness. Pardon you?

Let's do it. Mm Hmm.

Let's give this bad boy a read. It's probably just for you.

like lesbians have on the news. I could make brownies.

Listen. Now you know. I'm a smoker.

Look at this, look at this.

look, i really need to talk to you about abed.

Look, i'm trying to be a good friend to britta.

look, will you just will you please talk to him?

Lucky charms? How are you so satisfied all the time?

make his own decisions?

Making fun of all of us.

man, don't turn your back on me.

maybe because i don't look like ron weasley.

Maybe he didn't see you. He saw me!

Maybe we should get started... I've been in a lot of study groups

Mm hmm. Well, that's a relief.

Mmmmmmm! [Laughs]

My appendix is bursting. What?

My class is that way.

My date's on the east lawn. East lawn. Perfect.

my movie's more important. well, ooh la la.

My name is Jeff. Jeff, it's a pleasure.

my name's alex, dude.

my son is hard to understand.

Nice day out today, isn't it?

No need to make it a long evening... Am I a piece of garbage to you?

no problem. just glad you're here.

No way. What?

No worries, man.

no, are are you going to take the class?

No, i know, and i'm sorry.

no, look how handsome my face is.

No, no, no, no, no. This is my cell phone headset.

No, no, no! No, no, no, no, no!

no, no. there's nothing

no, really. i don't need anything.

no, really. you're insulting me.

not me! oh, come on, leonard.

not really. not really.

Nothing. Journalists are being murdered?

now, are those the high heel boots

objection. i don't know what he means.

objection. my client did not cheat.

Oh, a cat? That's awful.

oh, can't.

oh, come on.

Oh, free notebooks. Here.

oh, god bless you, dear.

oh, good.

Oh, good. For instance,

Oh, good. Well, in that case.

oh, got me.

Oh, gotcha.

Oh, he He's very cute

Oh, he said "rad"? I thought he said "bad."

oh, hey. troy.

oh, i get it!

Oh, I think it's... Oh. Okay.

Oh, i'm good.

Oh, jeff. I have a gossip problem.

Oh, let me answer that question with another question.

Oh, my...

Oh, no worries, brah.

Oh, no, i was just gonna see if britta

Oh, no, no. "Wizard blue"?

Oh, no.

oh, okay, ouch, and yes.

oh, shut your pompous vortex of overlapping fangs!

Oh, thank you, abed. Oh!

Oh, that's good. It's good for your skin.

Oh, that's nice

Oh, uh, i don't even know

oh, yeah, yeah, sure, the haw

oh, yeah. his name's pierce.

Oh, yes. My ear Noculars.

Oh, you guys are Right?

Oh! Which is a british ten,

Oh! Oh, that's so hilarious!

Oh. What? That's what he said.

Okay, but tell me you've noticed

okay, grandpa.

okay, i will get a small, black coffee.

Okay, i've actually been in this situation many times,

okay, just keep it up frost/nixon.

okay, look, i need to talk to you about abed.

Okay, this is definitely still part of the experiment.

Okay, we're three hours in, so let's review what we've seen.

Ooh! Or albinos! Little albinos.

perfect. that's a wrap.

pierce will beat that in one minute.

Pierce, we are not making fun of you.

Pierce, we were not making fun of you.

pierce, you're musical. you're creative.

pierce! yo.

please don't encourage him, winger.

Please? You get paid.

Princess Elizabeth. Annie.

probably the same as teacher life,

professor ben chang.

professor ian duncan.

professor whitman comes by here every morning

Professor. What?

raising him means letting him follow his dreams.

really? how does he know about me?

remember when we used to study spanish?

Right, right. It's more like this.

Roy the wonder boy. Troy.

School?

See ya

see, it was hard enough to talk to him before.

shazbot! i shall have...

she confessed to protect her classmates,

she confessed!

She's behind you. Not interested.

Shh shh shh shh.

Shirley has a response. I don't.

Shirley would have said something funny about that guy.

Shirley, did you see senor chang's socks today?

Shirley, don't do this. Look, we can still hang out

shirley, thank you.

Shirley, we're not pandas in a zoo.

shirley, you get an "a"... oh.

Shut up, boo boo head. Will you shut up, fart head?

sloppy.

Small coffee, please.

So britta said that you did a lot of community service.

so far so good.

so I should do the introductions. Definitely!

So i'll be done in, like, an hour.

So pierce isn't exactly right in the head, is he?

So who wants to be in a psych experiment?

so your dad has your whole life planned out for you?

so, abed, how's film class?

so...

so...i guess the cell phone number

so...this is the last chance

Some cause Britta's into. A silent protest. Lots of candles.

someone order seven lattes?

Sorry, dudes.

sorry, mr. winger, these won't cut it.

sorry. that's okay.

Spanish. Don't hit on me, okay?

Spoilers. It's gonna be as if it would never even happened.

stop. stop doing this right now.

Sweetie, it's not behind your back. Can we stop with the sweeties?

t t tell me about the one they call troy.

Talk to the backpack. I told you!

tell him that you want to stay and study film.

tell me more.

Tell me what I've got so far. What we have so far?

Thank you so much. You just brightened my day.

Thank you, Abed. You're welcome.

thank you, dean, thank you.

thank you.

thank you. miss perry...

Thank you. Thank you very much.

thanks for the pizza, abed. i was starving.

That dude looks like Moby! We were thinking...

that feeling is called the joy of freedom.

that guy was your dad?

that is brilliant.

That is not what i want to see.

That one's a stomper. Bye, hippie.

that part hasn't happened yet. here he comes.

That sounds cool. Doesn't it?

That was the experiment, troy.

That's all you had to say. That was it?

that's exciting.

That's homophobic. That's black.

That's horrible. Can we have a protest?

That's mean. No.

That's my deal. A good deal.

that's perfect. you already know your lines.

That's racist! Damn.

That's right. Laugh it up.

that's right. we are mature!

that's she'll be coming around the mountain.

That's so weird. I'm stumped.

that's the difference.

That's uh, wow.

The "look left" speech? Made it up.

The Dalai Lama and I... We should listen to him sometime.

the defense calls britta perry.

The group meets at the library at 4. Britta. Thanks.

the only difference between señor chang and stalin

the way it goes.

then he should see aladdin. jafar was a bad ass.

There goes the shirt.

There he is. Jeff.

there is an olympic sized pool there, yes,

There is no God. Booyah, booyah. What do you want?

There's a card for that? Not specifically,

There's so much dust in here.

There's the awkward pause.

they're coming.

they're not supposed to take... Your breath away?

this friday? this friday?

This has to end. Mm Mm, mm Mm.

This is never going to work. Look at them.

This is really important to me, abed.

this is really nice of you. the memo says "for dreams."

This is way more like Breakfast club. There's breakfast?

this is what friends do.

to get a degree in business

turn on her!

Uh Huh

Uh, Britta? Oh, no, I don't have to go.

Uh, first of all,

uh, is she allowed to have counsel?

uh, no, you're a teacher. you're not a professor.

Uh, yes. I'll go with you.

uh...pass.

Ultimate frisbee at the senior's center.

um, all money is spending money.

um, also... [high pitched warble]

Up top, sugar bear.

Very creepy. That makes two of us.

very dry. very witty.

voice command. [phone beeps]

wait a minute.

wait, what is he saying? he says "we're leaving."

wait! i cheated! and we're back

wait. i think we have our defense.

Wait. Is this still part of the experiment?

We head to the demonstration. Hippies?

We shouldn't show that. Oh, no, it's fine.

we went over budget. mm.

we will stick things in his butt.

we'll be in better shape. Yeah, you're right.

We're cool.

We're having the time of our lives. See?

We're making fun britta's boyfriend, vaughn.

Welcome, research assistants.

well, britta, it isn't called friend business,

well, he is rather arrogant

well, here's a quiz for you.

Well, I can stay at least till 10:00. But who studies with strangers, right?

well, i guess that's your fault, isn't it?

well, i may be a genius, but i'm not a lesbian.

well, i may be stupid,

well, i'm glad to hear it.

well, it certainly

well, it sounds like there are two biases,

Well, it's a very good question.

well, maybe you should spend five hours

well, some of us are here to actually learn things.

well, that went well.

Well, that's a cool shirt.

well, that's more like it.

well, uh, yeah, sure.

Well, we're just running a little bit behind,

well, we're not gonna buy you an ice cream.

well, why wouldn't you? i don't know.

Well, you guys should hang out sometime.

well, you really took your sweet time with that one, baby.

well, you shouldn't. i quit.

What am I supposed to drive? Why don't you take this car?

what are you doing out there?

what are you doing?

What are you doing? I'm certified.

What are you doing? Pierce!

what are you writing in?

What do I do? Maybe one decent thing

what do you think they're gonna do to me?

what do you think, dad?

What do you want to be?

what does that mean? what do you mean, jeff?

what iraq metaphor?

What is a story? My God in heaven.

what is that?

What is that? It looks like your bluetooth thingie.

what is wrong with you?

What with you? This ain't how you do this.

What, a community college spanish teacher

what?

What? Excuse me. Annie edison.

What? This is so sad.

what? [judges muttering]

What? Forget that.

what? listen, i i have never lived

What? Why? I don't know.

what'd i tell you?

What're you guys doing? I have no idea.

What's that? Does it say you have to pee?

What's that? Nothing.

what's your name? my name is shirley bennett.

where do i find mr. britta? i'm mr. britta.

Where do we go on saturdays?

Where does it hurt? Everywhere.

Where's Britta? I invited people from the class.

Where's it from?

who do you guys think cheated?

Who is this guy?

Who's your favorite player? Me.

whoa, whoa, whoa.

Whoa.

why are you here?

Why don't we start with me saying... What are you doing?

why don't you all just leave him alone

why would a movie actor call you?

Why? Britta invited me. Is that cool?

why...are you here?

Will you tell us more about Guatemala? I never went to a real college.

with falafel as a fallback.

with great pleasure. it was a tuesday,

Word 'em up. Word 'em everywhere.

would you please use the buttons?

wow, i can't believe i missed out

Wow, i didn't realize we were really good friends.

wrong. crap.

yeah, as a joke.

Yeah, but i'm a sprinter.

yeah, but what are what language?

yeah, but your movie's for class.

Yeah, give me some of that. There it is.

Yeah, go, go, gadget incontinence.

yeah, he's awesome.

yeah, i bet you're enjoying this.

yeah, i know, but let me explain to you

Yeah, i was livid. Then why didn't you leave?

yeah, it's nice. like a like a picnic.

yeah, luis guzman is on a private jet from hollywood,

Yeah, she looks like she's in trouble.

Yeah, some worries, man. Some worries.

Yeah, subjects! Not rain man!

yeah, they got us.

yeah, well, when we first met,

yeah, well, you got prince charles over here,

yeah? did you go to class today?

Yeah. No worries. He just said it!

Yeah. Shoot!

Yep. See you guys in class.

yes, he was.

yes, i did.

yes, i would. well, i'm not gonna tell you.

yes, she did...

yes, that's what i was doing.

yes! wait, what?

Yes. Who's my girl?

yes. just kidding. no. like that?

You all have got to see him.

you are inside a throbbing, cosmic womb

You are the devil.

you better believe it.

You broke my trust. You suck.

You brought your mail to campus?

you can tell the dean i'll have a song

you did what?

You don't have to sign your name anymore.

you don't know that.

you don't know? no.

you don't touch me! britta back up. stop.

You forget something? Yeah.

you go host american idol

you got ten seconds...

You got to stop saying that. I will never do that. Sit down.

You guys weren't in spanish class. Knight Rider marathon.

you guys, are we going to study spanish

you guys, i found it. the ultimate blow off class.

You have horrible breath right now

You in line? Oh, no, no, no.

you know i have a problem with dishonesty.

you know the statue dedication is this friday.

you know, i had a father like you.

you know, i was really moved by your honesty earlier.

You know, i'm gonna really I'm gonna think about it.

You know, people underestimate the elderly,

you know, you have the savoir faire of a hyena.

You know? I know.

you listen up, pierce!

You look like Elisabeth Shue. You're unbelievable.

you lost me!

You need to move on with your life. Yeah. Move on with my life.

you never mentioned that.

you owe me.

You sat in a room for 26 straight hours.

You smell nice. Vitamin P. Morning, Jeffrey.

You sound like Guatemala. Somebody has a case of

you trying to mess with me?

You want anything? Oh, yeah, a Desmond Tutu

you...

you'd like a fresh start. Nice try.

You'd rather keep it real than be likeable. Can you at least tell us what to google?

You're attracted to bums. Good night

You're easy. Yeah.

you're getting a little sloppy.

You're into me. I beg your unbelievable pardon.

You're little Annie Adderall. Yes, and you are a stupid jock

you're not my mother. she's not?

you're on trial for cheating!

You're pretty cool, Abed. You're a huge nerd.

you're right! it's so unfair.

Your eyes? That's gay?

your homework. ah.

Your hormones are clouding your... Don't talk to Vaughn.

Your soul. That's racist.

'cause as soon as our family moved out,

'Cause my knowledge will bite her face off!

'cause you want to sleep with me

'cept you, toby.

"amar" is "to love," right?

"Ass burger".

"but doesn't actually ever want to do anything itis."

"Did you ever notice where the ocean meets the sky, did ya?

"did you get my text message?"

"El tigre chino"!

"I forgive you".

"I was a huge phony before. I can do it again!"

"I'm jeff. And I'm a student at Greendale."

"just like the rest of us."

"likes to use French politics to make themselves special,

"Most valued customer. Henderson trophy cases."

"No, Dad! What about you?"

"Say you have to pee. I need to talk to you".

"seize the day!"

"Señor Chang, why do you teach Spanish?"

"Shmove shmon shmith shmy shmife. "

"streets ahead."

"streets ahead" is verbal wildfire.

"Thank you"?

"The incident occurred during a protest regarding events in Guatemala."

"Troy! Troy!"

"what am I about to say

"who is that?" Abed.

"Why do you teach

"Why you?"

"You're plastered with glitter and goo from head to toe, "

[abed laughing on video]

[britta clears throat]

[chang sniffles]

[cheery music]

[clears throat louder]

[clears throat]

[comical voice] grandpa?

[Crying]

[crying] is the day i finally started being happy.

[desk collapses] ooh! ooh! oh, heaven.

[Door closes]

[Dorky voice] Ew, i'm saddam hussein. Ew.

[dramatic music]

[duncan bangs gavel] that just happened.

[electronic whirring]

[flatline]

[heart monitor beeping]

[horse neighs]

[humming a tune]

[Imitates a stoner] Nice to meet you, dude.

[Imitates a stoner] Oh, i think it's time

[Imitates woman] Ooh, wow. I love reading and being a desperate housewife.

[Imitating shirley] that's not nice.

[inhales] hey, how's it going?

[laughs] i know it sounds funny,

[Laughs] strike three.

[Laughter]

[laughter]

[Laughter]

[laughter] what's so funny?

[loudly] much like a university would!

[loudly] using its $6,000 judge's table!

[man screams]

[noisemaker tooting]

[overlapping comments] real mature!

[pierce playing the way it is melody]

[playing faster]

[playing she'll be coming around the mountain melody]

[playing twinkle twinkle little star melody]

[plays note]

[presses key]

[shouts incoherently]

[sighs]

[sighs] hi, almost done.

[Slap]

[sloshing]

[sniffs]

[Snotty guy voice] I'm dr. Doogie seacrest.

[sobbing]

[Squeals] mm Hmm. Mm Mm.

[upbeat music]

[varying pitch] * gree green *

[violently clipped sneeze]

[warbling]

[watch beeps]

[With jamaican accent] Hey, man, coming through.

* *

* dancing in your underwear *

* give me the hope to run out of steam *

* green *

* green dale *

* greendale isn't a slop pail * *

* greendale, greendale little star *

* how you like me now?... *

* i can't count the reasons i should stay *

* i couldn't run *

* moo shoo pork *

* oh, annie believes in me *

* one by one they all just fade away *

* slop * *

* slop pails and pantyhose *

* so you can go to class *

* somebody said we could be here *

* squab with lettuce * *

* standing in the bookstore line *

* taking air conditioner repair *

* waiting for the bell to chime *

* we could roped up, tied up, dead in a year *

* when you loved me so *

* with our wipes at the picnic! *

* with our wipes, hawthorne wipes! *

* you'll be wiping off that ketchup *

* you'll be wiping off that mustard *

29 seconds.

50 bucks. I don't want your money. Your shirt.

Community - Season 1
Community is a hilarious and clever television show that first premiered on NBC in the year 2009. Created by Dan Harmon, this critically acclaimed series revolves around the antics of a diverse study group at Greendale Community College. The cast of Community is undoubtedly one of the show's strongest assets, with each actor bringing their unique talents and comedic timing to their respective roles. The ensemble includes Joel McHale as the sarcastic yet charming Jeff Winger, Gillian Jacobs as the neurotic and lovable Britta Perry, and Danny Pudi as the pop culture savant Abed Nadir. Alison Brie shines as the ambitious and slightly neurotic Annie Edison, while Donald Glover's Troy Barnes brings comedic gold with his naïve yet lovable personality. The eccentric but brilliant Pierce Hawthorne is brought to life by the late Chevy Chase, while Yvette Nicole Brown brings warmth and hilarity as Shirley Bennett. Jim Rash steals scenes as the quirky and offbeat Dean Craig Pelton, and Ken Jeong delivers laughs as the unpredictable and unhinged Ben Chang. The chemistry between the cast members is palpable, resulting in a remarkable dynamic that elevates the humor and heart of the show. Community Season 1 introduces viewers to this extraordinary group of misfits as they navigate the challenges of higher education and form unlikely friendships. Jeff Winger, a former lawyer whose degree is now invalid, pretends to be a qualified student at Greendale in the hopes of winning Britta's affections. However, he soon finds himself thrown into a study group filled with peculiar characters who ultimately become his chosen family. Throughout the first season, Community explores various themes, often parodying different genres and paying homage to popular culture. From paintball wars to Halloween parties and documentary-style episodes, the show brilliantly blends comedy, social commentary, and heartwarming moments. The soundtrack of Community Season 1 also adds an extra layer of enjoyment to the series. The iconic theme song, "At Least It Was Here" by The 88, perfectly captures the quirky and upbeat nature of the show. The diverse musical choices within each episode reflect the characters' personalities and enhance the overall viewing experience. If you're a fan of the show or simply want to immerse yourself in the world of Community, you can play and download these sounds here. Whether it's the infectious laughter of the study group, the catchy tunes, or the memorable one-liners, these sounds will transport you straight to Greendale Community College. Community Season 1 received praise from both critics and viewers for its clever writing, excellent ensemble cast, and unique storytelling approach. It introduced audiences to a vibrant and diverse community that defied stereotypes and showcased the power of friendship and acceptance. With its sharp humor, heartwarming moments, and clever meta-references, Community Season 1 remains a beloved and influential television show that continues to resonate with fans worldwide. So grab some popcorn, join the study group, and prepare for an unforgettable journey through the halls of Greendale Community College.
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