Birdgirl (2021) - Season 1 Edit

A big swinging dick! Uh, wait. What?

A consumer defined vintage organization experience.

A deposit of a mysterious mineral.

A dog from down there.

A Eurocup thigh hole, fortified junk pouch.

A ferrari!

A good hang.

A group of us are grabbing drinks.

A house. Aha.

A little about myself I'm not much of a joiner,

A little Baltimo's still in there, huh, Jude?

A lot of people quit.

A lot of time by yourself around here.

A lot.

A million times, yes.

A networking event for businesswomen, run by men.

A new day is here

A new employee is actually cheaper than overtime.

A product's about to drop.

A walk?

Aaaaah!

Aaah!

Aaah!

Aaah!

Aaah! Get her off me!

Aah, aah! Oh, my god!

Aah!

Aah!

Aah!

Aah!

Aah!

Aah! [ gasps ]

Aah! Aah!

Aah! Aah! Aah!

Aah! Don't do that!

Aah! I know this smell.

Aah! It's gonna blow!

Aah! Look at yourself.

About a giant earthquake that's going to...

About her secret identity,

About people learning my not secret identity.

Across the plains of what you call north america.

Actually, you're not.

After he eats, can you play with him?

Ah, the park.

Ah! Ugh! Ah! Ahhhhhh!

Ah! Ugh! Ugh! Ah!

Ah. Now it's 86.

Ah. You're a weirdo.

Ahem. Did I do something wrong?

Ahh!

Ahh!

Ahh!

Ahh!

Ahh!

Ahh!

Ahh! [ Vomiting ]

Ahh! Ow! Ahh.

Ahh! Ugh!

Ahh! Ugh!

Ahhhh!

Ahhhhh ohhhh!

Alive and prospering

All bears share.

All the "S" words.

All the online hate comments about judy into categories.

All this beautiful pent up rage makes Sebben & Sebben

All those in favor

All while keeping your information private

All: [ murmuring ]

All: Hi, judy.

All: She has returned. She has returned.

Allow me to introduce you

Already on it.

Alright, it's a sale on Eostre cards.

Alright, sit down, brian.

Alright.

Alright. Stop being a weirdo.

Alright. Swing to the right. Swing to the left.

Also, he looks like he has a mini fridge

Although I can't tell you why.

Although they do say, if you love what you do,

Always had a job with constant promotions

Am I in trouble here?

Am I real?

Am I sensing some anger?

Am I the super?

Am I?

An entire town made of Baltimo?

An office phone needs heft.

And

And And you invented this game

And a benefits package.

And a few of them, their names.

And all of your medical records,

And as a woman who supports other women,

And because you'll die alone,

And bring her back to your parents' house to the attic.

And built it into a multinational conglomerate

And but a distant memory, if you remember me at all.

And clean up this mess...

And commemorate said support by signing this important

And everyone forgets about layoffs...

And everyone shows up unconscious.

And fear is a useful survival response.

And find something to remove blue dye...

And Friday, you have

And gives the most optimal feedback it can,

And he'd have to lose the Hummer.

And how can you two not even scream?

And I don't see a place for my fax machine.

And I don't want to lose this job.

And I know. [ carrot crunches ]

And I quite like it.

And I want to be a fierce advocate of Meredith

And I'm a person who's always deeply felt things,

And I'm asking for forgiveness, okay?

And in exchange, I promise not to hurt you.

And it should feel like work when you use it.

And it was a lot of that thing.

And it's been one big "yes" ever since.

And later, we will be revisiting you stealing 20% of my stock.

And my dad didn't sell.

And not just in my penis.

And not just metaphorical ones.

And not just the one on your face.

And now he knows everything.

And now I'm fired! [ grunts ]

And now it all just makes me...

And now she's disappearing.

And now so can everyone else.

And now we're finally doing something.

And now you shall die!

And now, both are worthless.

And on behalf of everyone at Sebben & Sebben,

And one for our ce oh.

And our commerce site is almost live.

And people are loving it!

And planning a brunch on their own behalf.

And save the world as birdgirl,

And say this isn't all your fault.

And shipped back to the farm to grow more food. [ sniffs, groans ]

And since we're not, maybe I'll let you not cool down

And someone else okay, perfect.

And something about mindtaking?

And sometimes save...

And spent months wandering in the wilderness

And stare at people through fans...like you.

And stored locally.

And straight to the top of the company!

And sues judy ken sebben for all of sebben & sebben.

And takes it deadly serious.

And tell him you want to change it.

And tell me something I can't even admit to myself,

And that is not how that usually happens.

And that's why my folks make me come here to practice.

And the custodian of beloved soda pop topple popple...

And the fritters are amazing!

And the majority of people would have a big problem with that.

And then after a while,

And then it hit me!

And then, when nobody's looking,

And there haven't been a lot of allies.

And they can overrule you on all your decisions.

And they think there's a possibility

And they'll click "leadership"...

And told them to release it if they didn't hear from me.

And wanting to tell people at work.

And we are the birdteam!

And we can be a part of that dream.

And we deliver it right to your busy life.

And we have a successor.

And we start with Share Bear.

And we work for you, even though our name's not on the company?

And we'll get judy ready to go onstage.

And what do Share Bears do?

And when I found those nine pounds,

And when it comes to my employees,

And when she does, we'll just pull her up.

And when she is awake, too.

And when she is here,

And when you throw it across the room at someone

And when you're finished...

And you came along and ruined everything by being born!

And you know I support you no matter what.

And you only worked half a week, so giddyup.

And you signed the order to sell it

And you tell me what's on your mind.

And you used to put every goddamn thing in your mouth.

And you won't have to, as long as you stick

And you, both of you... There...Tonight...

And you're ...dy, so you're always ...dy ing.

And you're worried because that's your job?

And you're...So... Very...Adequate.

And your hands, they're magnificent.

And your social security number.

And, Birdteam, go!

And, uh, you could afford to miss a couple of meals.

And... Synchronize watches.

Animal waste?

Another day guarding the secret comes to a successful end.

Another drop coming.

Another one? It's been happening all morning.

Another way of putting that is...?

Anybody gives you flak, you show them this.

Anyway, the Share Bear!

Anyway, there's your 12 bucks, right there.

Anyway, these two have mind melded

Are both an honor and a responsibility.

Are those the only choices? I look gross.

Are we dating?

Are we okay?

Are you insane? It's disappearing.

Are you okay? I'm terrific!

Around all 462 of them.

As Birdgirl says...

As curated experiences, I thought they were high.

As did your father.

As fourth wave feminists, how about we support each other,

As my last official act as ceo,

As topple brand manager,

At 24 bucks a pop?

At exactly 19:56 with judy's outfit.

At improving the lives of millions of people.

At just over a quarter mile, he's kind of hot.

At sebben & sebben, but it hasn't.

At the harley davidson hogs for a female cause.

At the same time. Can you let her know?

At the spa in the boonies...

At, uh, filling the gap in your soul, or whatever.

Aw, gillian.

Aw, God damn it.

Aw, Thursday is fritters day.

Aww.

Aye. Aye. Aye. Aye.

Bad connection.

Bear goes on the belt.

Because crazy things usually work.

Because he was crazy and impulsive.

Because I'm in your mind.

Because I'm you.

Because it's locked.

Because she can't and will communicate all that.

Because she stores them in her pants.

Because the one thing I don't have is...

Because then they'll know that judy is also

Because there is no sex tape.

Because there'll be spoilers all over the joint

Because you have no friends and you're always at work.

Because you're ceo now. I'm not, okay?

Before giving it to jessica from accounting?

Before I go, I need to tell you something

Before I go, I'd like to propose direct deposit.

Behind the convenience store,

Behold, the first Share Bear.

Bend elbow, grab, shake around, thumb up hoo hah.

Benjy here, reporting for duty.

Benjy it is. I'll tell him.

Benjy works at sebben & sebben.

Benjy!

Benjy? What are you doing here?

Besides trying to find his car?

Besides, you're too late, as "ushe."

Best. Best.

Best. Best. Hmm.

Best. Best... B E S T, best.

Better not screw it up.

Better read him in.

Between humans and foreskins,

Big and beefy.

Big news I am the new

Big whoop.

Bingo.

Bingo.

Bird Team business.

Bird Team, go!

Birdcat, guard the flank, and make sure none of them

Birdgirl needs our help!

Birdgirl told us to eat it.

Birdgirl was just a shill for Baltimo.

Birdgirl, you'll steal away behind the chocolate abyss.

Birdgirl: [ Groaning ]

Birdgirl: ♪ oh, my god, oh, my god, oh, my god, oh, my god, oh, my god ♪

Birdgirl: Birdcat, coming in for landing.

Birdgirl: Charlie!

Birdgirl: Coming in for landing.

Birdgirl: It started as a crazy marketing stunt

Birdgirl: No texts, no wrecks.

Birdgirl: She's mine, and she's a boy.

Birdgirl: Whoa!

Birdgirl: Why didn't we think of this earlier?

Birdgirl: Yeah, I may be thinking about a career change.

Birdgirl!

Birdgirl!

Birdgirl!

Birdgirl!

Birdgirl!

Birdgirl!

Birdgirl!

Birdgirl!

Birdgirl!

Birdgirl!

Birdgirl!

Birdgirl! [ clatter ]

Birdgirl! [ meows ]

Birdgirl! Hey!

Birdgirl! Yeah. [ chuckles ]

Birdgirl? [ scoffs ] that phil.

Birdteam, go!

Blee ooh oop!

Blee ooh oop! New ceo.

Blee oop, blee oop.

Bloo eh. Blee ooh oop.

Board members: [ gasping, groaning ]

Boo oop. [ sighs ]

Boss, I know you were distracted

Both: Get your hand around that!

Both: Pop me another popple, farmer phil.

Boy oop!

Boy oop!

Boy oop.

Bri, bri, do not have a calyp shit fit.

Brian o'brien human waste.

Brian, you're lurking.

Brian: It's the super?

BRIAN: It's the super.

Brian!

Brian? 1, 2, 1, 2.

But "team" might be overstating it.

But as C.E.O., I have a shot

But even that hasn't helped.

But first, I have to deliver a letter.

But guess what? She's not gonna fail.

But he chews his cuticles, so we'd

But he chose birdgirl as ceo,

But he doesn't, because he's a cat.

But here, I belong.

But I admire a woman who can.

But I do have one of those faces

But I don't want everybody knowing about it.

But I don't want to get murdered over a soda can.

But I guess what I'm really afraid of is money defining me.

But I have some other stuff I have to get to.

But I never make mistakes.

But I thought I'd switch things up.

But I told my bear some dark

But I was raised to never say anything honest to a woman.

But I'll get you, cat.

But if you have to sign everything I sign,

But in the event of his death,

But it didn't just add heft.

But it means overcoming years of my natural inclination

But maybe you forgot since you grew up.

But most people call them apartments now.

But mostly I think it's scared to lose

But my last thing ran a little long.

But my name's on this company.

But now he's gone.

But now I see I just wanted my dad to see me.

But now she's a God.

But only the manliest drinkers can handle topple.

But phil chose birdgirl. Hey oh!

But phil was most famous

But she can't run the company alone.

But something still feels off.

But still delicious cat food?

But that classic can is 50% realer.

But the half life was well beyond

But the whistling was coming from her nose.

But then I'm kind of in the mood for rice balls.

But then my host body, david, fell ill and passed away.

But then there are so many options!

But there are already a ton of pictures on the internet

But they won't see a man.

But they'll be okay.

But this toilet thing,

But through all this, I somehow feel changed.

But true things I can, and the first one to cry loses...

But what am I supposed to do about it?

But whatever he did made you,

But when, through a spyglass, we spotted strange ships

But with little miss break shit up

But you didn't say she sucks!

But you're a Share Bear.

But you've just got closer.

But your dad saw something. Know what he told me, judy?

But, big sigh, uh, Judy needs me us, the Bird Team,

But, fine, we'll switch him to...Dry food.

But, listen, if it's all the same with you,

But, uh, the guy at the kiosk downstairs

But, uh, we got to get the costumes.

Bwee oop!

Bwee oop? No. No cheating.

Bwee yoop, mother

Bwee yoop.

By consenting to be mindtaken, you'll have no memory of this

Call the factory your father built

Call the factory.

Calypsis, let's roll.

Can finally raise a cold one and join the topple team.

Can I come?

Can we do this without things getting weird?

Can we keep this moving?

Can you back up a tad?

Can you feel it?

Can you get me Etan Delvay?

Can you get me meredith?

Can you hear me?!

Can you hear me?!

Can you just calm down and, you know, be a ceo?

Can you just go ahead and mindtake me?

Can you leave now?

Can you put this in my office?

Can't we be post not fighting?

Can't you just mindtake her and

Carl, we're gonna lose the house.

Carl! I can't take this anymore.

Carry the 2, and blammo we hit zero. Thank god.

Cassie, how many times do I have to tell you

Cassie: We've always been here, dad.

Cassie! [ china shatters ]

Charlie, what is all this?

Charlie, you trap them in the front entrance.

Charlie: Can you hear me?

Charlie: It's not possible. Nobody has a picture of that.

Charlie: Remember us?

Charlie: You know, fear's a useful survival response, Judy.

Charlie!

Charlie...

Château, campfire smoke?

Chocolate abyss?

Choosing a successor to run his company.

Coffee.

Colin was Baltimo?

Come on, come on!

Come on, come on!

Come on, kid.

Come on, little ones.

Come on, Mer. We're gonna have e mail!

Come to Daddy Bear.

Company wide memos when we have the Internet.

Comparing me and birdgirl.

Confessing to the authorities is a good first step.

Contact you at 2:00, topple nation.

Continue the topple launch.

Cruise the girl you went to school with,

Cut the [bleep] judy. What aren't you telling us?

Cutting. Right.

Dad, you're drunk. That door was shut. Dad, you're drunk.

Damn it.

Damn, I love a good bet.

Dave? Dave, is that you?

Deal? Deal.

Decimate the Pacific Northwest, or whatever.

Definitely seems like a bad time.

Definitely.

Did he see it, you guys? Did he see it?

Did I do something wrong?

Did you reinforce the pits and tits?

Did you know that when you fart,

Did you see what I did?!

Disaffected, irrelevant.

Dismiss.

Do I know what?

Do it.

Do some layoffs. No, we have to find some way

Do you have a plan?

Do you know how hard it is to avoid the Internet?

Do you want to go past the scary, past the ugly,

Does anyone have a fucking clue what's happening?

Does he wax?

Does she scare you just a tiny bit?

Does she scare you just a tiny bit?

Does she scare you just a tiny bit?

Doesn't mean you have to. Blee ooh oop.

Dog with bucket hat: [ munching ]

Dog with bucket hat: Brian, brian! [ pounding on door ]

Don't be alarmed, paul.

Don't be mean.

Don't bother.

Don't ever joke about that.

Don't kill me, graham!

Don't let another author tell your story, Jessica.

Don't make me go feral.

Don't say that.

Don't you think it's a little weird Etan completely spoke

Dr. Sheila: [ groaning ]

Dr. Sheila: Paul, when I saw you on the appointment list,

Dressed like the super?

Drinks? Do not make that.

Droning on about the not layoffs.

During the calypsis meeting, but there was a hiccup.

Eastfield? No one would buy eastfield.

Eh, I don't scare easily.

Eh, nowhere close to hell.

Eileen, I'll get another job.

Eileen, I'm a grown man, okay?!

Energy.

Energy.

Energy.

Energy.

Energy. [ snorting ]

English breakfast, chamomile, neem, oolong, po cha.

Enjoyed our chat. It really helped!

Especially for a satisfying explanation

Etan is a decent, albeit odd, man who's devoted his life

Etan just seems too good to be true.

Even a Thera Bear loves a good burn.

Even though I hate him.

Every single one.

Everybody laugh.

Everyone knows that's just stacked pubic hair, benjy.

Everyone needs help.

Everything in Sebben Town [ Gurgles ]

Everything was built to say "no" to me.

Everything... I'm telling you.

Everything's grays with judy. [ grunts ]

Evie, have you noticed the building sort of doing stuff?

Evie, what's the plan? How should I know?

Evie, you're the cure.

Evie: Transferring 1968 memories.

Evie!

Exactly as it was, but way better.

Except we don't get paid, and it's kind of a the

Executive touch!

Expecting to see a man.

Factories?

Farm to mouth to toilet and back to farm.

Fellas, are the walls slowly closing in on us?

Financial document, right here?

Find him, [bleep] him, and forget him.

Find judy ken sebben... Now.

Find somebody else to touch your back fat!

Firewall breach, ddos.

First thing we need to do is find the old telephone exchange.

Five klicks south southeast of Sebben Town.

Fix it!

Floris is dead!

Floris, refill that carafe, you lazy bag.

Focus on the future.

For a while now. I do most of the talking.

For about 7 bucks in today's dollars.

For an actual large type problem.

For female causes tonight.

For I am birdgirl's assistant.

For me?

For one thing he never accomplished

For people who've been canceled online.

For the display case, Judy.

For the last time,

For years, I struggled with social anxiety.

For you at that meeting?

For you.

Foreskins are highly sensitive,

Found in copy machines, office chairs, and...

Four internal microphones, visual data processing.

Fresh from the cleaner's!

Friends forever, Etan."

From...Skin.

Fuck if I know.

Fucking AT&T.

Fuke?

Fyi the best version of me comes out at night.

Gennifer wears seamlessly from morning to evening.

Gennifer, you meet birdgirl at the southeastern entrance

Gennifer! [ cellphone rings ]

Get behind the cart!

Get me a wireless account and a laptop.

Get out the side door.

Get the costumes to the theater, stat.

Get your hand around it.

Get your hands off me, and get out.

Getting off my jock.

Gil, I'm feeling a little empty,

Gillian said "ass."

Gillian, did you get the cost saving

Gillian, I appreciate it. [ grunts ]

Gillian, I forgot my password again.

Gillian, I forgot to tell gennifer

Gillian, it's kind of a low key secret.

Gillian, some things have been falling through the cracks.

Gillian, stop. You're making it worse.

Gillian, take a seat.

Gillian, we were wondering, you know,

Gillian, we're all just regular people

Gillian, you don't have to do this anymore.

Gillian: Must protect boss.

Gillian!

Gillian!

Gillian!

Gillian!

Gillian!

Gillian! And judy's.

Gillian! I'm running late.

Gillian. Hi.

Give me 10 minutes. I got to bolt,

Give me the go ahead, and we'll be swimming in

Glenn, we're six hours in to the leaked

Go down to his office and congratulate that asshole.

God damn it, eileen.

God, we're coming for you, Juju.

Goddamnit, Judy.

Good morn oh! Oh, my god!

Good morning, judy.

Good morning.

Good one, mer.

Good thing I had the GoPro.

Good townspeople, don't harm them.

Good townspeople.

Goodnight, Gracie.

Got it! It's only a couple miles away.

Got it?

Got it.

Got it. Be there in 10.

Got it. Let's write the keynote for tonight.

Got that, gillian? Roger.

Got to fly. Work thing.

Got to get that dude's bear.

Gotcha.

Graham, why?

Graham!

Great idea. [ glass shatters ]

Great to meet you, and great jumpsuit.

Great! Welcome to the team!

Gross!

Gross.

Guys, if you're wondering why you're so tired

Guys, Judy's sorry for taking you for granted.

Guys, uh, I'm, uh, looking over the plans here,

Guys, we all have them. Lance has one.

Guys, we've got the wrong address.

Guys. Guys! Don't leave while it's weird!

Ha ha!

Ha!

Had the notion to make the phones out of this stuff.

Hadn't heard that. I kind of like it.

Half a mil in the black.

Halloween?

Harbor gray or slate gray?

Hard g. Nice one.

Has the highest suicide rate of all Fortune 1,000 companies.

Have you been to Jeanette's?

Have you discussed this with carlo?

He always did love birdgirl.

He became one with us.

He did it.

He does. Huh.

He even has a sense of humor.

He has a hundred eye patches!

He insisted we use this impersonator.

He so waxes.

He tricked you into signing over your stock

He wants east assburg.

He'll be summoned. He knows not when.

He's an angel.

He's done this before.

He's gone.

He's got cancer. What do you want?

He's got feelings for me!

He's my son now, I guess.

He's not a freak!

He's not dead, everyone.

He's plotting to take over the company.

He's released your bank account info

He's right.

He's the one who's supposed to be murdered!

Head turn, right arm, knee bend, elbow grab,

Helen and I were together 37 years,

Helen!

Helicopter rotors.

Hell of a golf shot.

Hello, riders.

Hello?

Hello? Hello?

Hello. Hello?

Help me pull on this!

Help!

Her memories!

Her ridiculous number of o.T. Hours has put us in the red.

Here to save the company!

Here. Let's get it off you.

Here's his foot.

Hey, a group of us are grabbing drinks.

Hey, anybody want to grab a drink?

Hey, brian, I I'm not here to suck up to you

Hey, Dave, can you go get your Goddamn bear?

Hey, don't be so hard on her yourself.

Hey, guys, it's miriam.

Hey, guys, remember me? Beep beep.

Hey, guys.

Hey, guys.

Hey, handsome, want to come live in my purse?

Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey!

Hey, hey, what do you want?

Hey, hey, y'alls. It's the fun cops.

Hey, how about you let her go?

Hey, I've still got 3 1/2 minutes on my swedish!

Hey, if this isn't a good time, I I can come back.

Hey, it's scot with one t. I run manufacturing.

Hey, it's Tay Tay!

Hey, Jude, quick sidebar.

Hey, maybe we should check these people out.

Hey, mer. Look, your dad just died.

Hey, so, I'm sorry about your dad.

Hey!

Hey!

Hey! [ Imitating fanfare ]

Hey! Birdgirl!

Hey! Birdgirl!

Hey! Birdgirl!

Hey! Birdgirl!

Hi. Can you open this?

Hi. I'm charlie, head of pr.

Hi. Uh, where's Judy?

Hippie? In this jumpsuit? Please.

Hmm?

Hmm.

Hmm.

Hmm.

Hmm. And that's an altar for the sacrifice.

Hmm. I usually fly solo on the mindtaking.

Hmmmmm.

Hmmmmmmm.

Hold it up like you were.

Holy fuck!

Holy shit.

Honey, honey, "executive touch"

Hoo!

Horrific things, wonderful things.

How a mineral makes products disappear.

How about we all take it down a notch?

How about you take a breath and process that?

How are you doing?

How could you let her approve a man eating toilet?

How could you?!

How did you crack my bear?

How did your families communicate anger?

How everyone expects her to fail, wants her to fail.

How many do we need?

How many times have we done this?

How much is two reams?

How much markup is that?

How on earth did you do this to yourself?

How'd I do?

How'd the launch go?

How'd you know we were calling from a landline?

How's this affect the sandwich board teams?

Huh?

Huh? I saw everything!

Huh? Oh, yeah, I agree.