Transparent - Season 1 Edit

A cat. Like a feral cat.

A cup of anything, as long as there's booze in it.

A cup of anything, as long as there's booze in it.

A duet at the LGBT center

A happy, sexy Sunday to you.

A hormone to Maria.

A little bit early, but I'll tell you what,

A lot of people would have just done it for the cash.

A Medici.

A mountain keeps an echo deep inside itself.

A new person who is half of you

A normal guy just comes.

A particularly bad Thanksgiving.

A previous generation had to die.

A really, really good friend of mine

A ripe peach.

A second go around.

A sort of cautionary tale about...

A tea dance.

A very short journey to theory talk.

A week, summer, whatever.

About being free from that extra layer of being seen.

About my feminine side.

About storming the master's castle

About your interior, um, decorator...

Absolutely gorgeous. How old are you?

Accountants don't have conferences. Stop!

Act natural.

Actually, he's talking about giving the house to me and Len.

Actually, I have a song I want you guys to cover.

Actually, no, really, he's...

Actually, on principle, I will not.

Actually, once I was gang ****d.

Afraid so, ma'am.

After all the work I put in to look like this.

Against abusive labor practices

Ah, I should write a song.

Ah, shit!

Ah, you're such a spoilsport.

Ah.

Ah.

Ahh, dancing. Together?

Ahh...

Ali

Ali got tofu schmear.

Ali got tofu schmear.

Ali used to sell your mom's valium in high school.

Ali, drop the plate!

Ali, get over here, you little hooker.

Ali, it's a completely different part of the plumbing,

Ali, let's hit it.

Ali, we're just gonna get some sustenance,

Ali.

Ali's coming. Can you come?

All Ali, all my feelings.

All he does is stare.

All he wanted to say was... you know,

All I need is a safe place to rest my keppie

All I'm thinking about is you.

All I'm trying to say is dad is a fucking transvestite.

All of those feelings to myself, and...

All right, 'cause I kinda want to be like...

All right, dad, if you have to go in front of me, that's fine,

All right, dad.

All right, give it up for Roxy Shay.

All right, go and sit. We're going to go.

All right, here we go.

All right, I don't want to take up too much time,

All right, I'll be over in ten minutes.

All right, so I'm a man with a vag.

All right, so you're in the fifth row.

All right, suck it in.

All right, well, it looks like you did your homework.

All right, who's in for blueberry pancakes?

All right, would you like me to breathe and be in it?

All right, you want to take this home?

All right? Not that far.

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right. And you have to be chosen.

All right. Do you know what? Take it.

All right. We're home.

All right. Well, I'm not hungry anymore.

All right. Well, let me contemplate.

All the fuckin' books are gone.

All the fuckin' wood is gone.

All the possibilities.

All we know is that she hasn't been back.

Almost there, little lady.

Alright, well, I'll just have him come over here, then.

Als, what's the deal?

Also known as a Shiva,

Although my Joshy is not married.

An hour? We have time for two drinks.

And a bunch of people from the temple.

And Ali is one of 'em, but it was temporary.

And also to thank all of you who have come,

And be.

And build on that core strength.

And clearly that is a man.

And completely deserved it, but, you know.

And didn't think it was necessary to tell me about that.

And do whatever your sister says. Goodbye.

And doctors in those days were telling women

And dress up like a woman?

And drop it off later.

And experimenting in your gender confusion.

And explain and explain.

And fucking wreck the place?

And girls are just easier that way.

And he had access to pre 1952 communist archives,

And he has every right to be in this bathroom.

And he has this theory about the Rosenbergs.

And he left me to pick up the pieces, per usual.

And he walked in on me dressed as a woman.

And he walked in, and... and he was...

And he's always by the ducks, and he wasn't by the ducks.

And here we are.

And here's what you're gonna do.

And how about my house last year, 4th of July?

And how long has it been you? Hm?

And I advise you to do the same.

And I am so sorry about the Armenian genocide.

And I can't wait to see you all next week

And I didn't do it.

And I didn't tell you that,

And I didn't, uh... I was like,

And I don't think you realize how important that is.

And I drove all the way there,

And I feel like you are just gonna delay and delay and delay.

And I got caught up in some stupid family stuff.

And I got into, you know, the checkout line,

And I got the mochi in the freezer...

And I have nobody to talk to.

And I just feel like, you know,

And I just knew. I said, "This is gonna not be good

And I just want her to see how hot I look.

And I just... I took her out, you know what I mean?

And I know that he loved his family.

And I looked down at my hand and I was...

And I made him get me another.

And I need you to tell her the truth.

And I run around with milk spewing out of my boobs?

And I says... I says, "No way, sir, "

And I sit here alone with him in front of the television,

And I still want to go live with the Weissburgs.

And I think it's up ahead.

And I think you're singing Hanukkah.

And I told her no.

And I was just on the front lawn,

And I was screaming.

And I was standing in the girls' line,

And I went out... I was in my nightgown,

And I went, "You know, it's just stuff, right?"

And I will speak to you later

And I would like to know, uh,

And I... am roasting.

And I'll just adjust the ratio.

And I'll put it on the other side.

And I'm done. That's all there is to it.

And I'm feeling kind of floaty.

And I'm feeling so ready

And I'm gonna have you jump in with these guys,

And I'm just becoming this hoarder of loose change.

And I'm married... to a guy.

And I'm not sure you're going to like me

And I'm on, like, four committees at Ivanhoe,

And I'm planning a little spit roasting epic... night

And I'm sick of getting your voicemail, so, anyhoo,

And I'm sorry about the Mort and the Maura

And if your dad's house

And it felt right

And it just happened.

And it just scares him, and...

And it smells completely differently.

And it was a 25 year old guy driving you around,

And it was done. And they finally,

And it was super lecherous.

And it was, like, totally different.

And it's never happened to me before.

And it's not like I live in Venice.

And it's really chafing my ass.

And just ask me questions like this,

And just stare into space.

And kind of Palm Springsy and stuff

And Len wants it?

And look.

And make sure she's here for the meeting with Ryan.

And mapa, you wanna do the honors?

And me, too, actually.

And next thing, you know, she's going to have shingles

And nobody else really likes Sushi

And nobody seems to give a shit.

And not one of your family members

And now I just feel like there's a direct, you know, path

And now you're gonna fucking fire me from the...

And obsessed all these years, but didn't know what to do.

And of theory talk, Audre Lorde's comments

And open and honest right now.

And our new friend Maura.

And people led...

And pick up his soccer stuff,

And respect.

And save the goddamn day.

And saying hello?

And saying you were gonna have two Mexican boys...

And says stop talking woman.

And see if we can make this van levitate.

And she has this disabled son

And she rung up the, um...

And she took it... she actually took it...

And so I guess, um,

And so she just, um,

And so she told me if I didn't like it,

And so today let's celebrate his life.

And so today...

And so we had three kids,

And so, um... and I'm so sorry I surprised her.

And some structure.

And stand in the boys' line. I just said...

And thank you so much for letting me audit your class.

And that lady over there with her chicken piccata.

And that you are not coming with me.

And that's good night to Murray.

And that's how I hold your voice.

And that's when I knew something was different.

And the disgusting koi pond out there

And the girl at the cash register said,

And the he and the she.

And the neighbors were just laughing,

And the next time I came out to them,

And the now sunglasses, and the now girlfriend,

And the now, you know, jacket,

And the now... dungarees

And the parent outreach at the " J"...

And the weight gain.

And then before I even had a chance to say anything,

And then I get into this deprivation thing,

And then I just hung out with your roommate while you, like,

And then I met his roommate, who is crazy sexy,

And then I try to make it sound new again.

And then I walked into Dale's house

And then I'm going to have to explain

And then I'm, like, dressing you up.

And then I'm, like, dressing you up.

And then she said,

And then there's Ali, she's my baby.

And then we realized

And then we started fucking, and whatever.

And then we'll go back out and keep looking for him.

And then when I try to sleep at night, I can't get to sleep, but...

And then when you find them, just, like, having that instinct to know

And then you're gonna be an old rabbi with no children.

And then, finita la commedia.

And then, of course,

And there's been a lot of women.

And there's no smoking!

And there's the woman that babysat you...

And they become suddenly...

And they canceled it.

And they never once took us out on a boat.

And they wear their wives' underpants...

And they're going to this really cool protest

And this pepper shaker is investigating my mouth,

And this pepper shaker is one guy,

And this...

And this... imagine this was a pepper shaker, too.

And those bitches wouldn't even look us in the eye.

And threatened all these women with a knife.

And thus story was invented.

And try to sell the place right out from under us?

And we lived in two houses,

And we never fucked anyway, did we?

And we should have talked.

And we'll just go drink.

And were born in the wilderness

And what any of that stuff has to do with this.

And whatnot to keep the skin looking right.

And where is the 7 Eleven?

And who's she gonna talk to?

And why did you tell him without talking to me?

And with Mercury in retrograde,

And you could just, like, get fat, and, like,

And you don't tell Sarah, okay?

And you know...

And you look like you're under water

And you said uh, were gonna check your calendar.

And you were the one who didn't want to sign them

And you will not tell her,

And you wouldn't have to do that

And you... but you don't have to slouch.

And you'll bring Joshy? Because he's

And you're just a person,

And you're like, okay, thanks for the drugs,

And you've just started on it,

And your brother is just amazing.

And your mom, her anxiety is through the roof.

And, baby, you need to...

And, I mean, I would totally love to be a lesbian,

And, like, I'm buying you drugs,

And, uh, also a little fence that leads to a bunch

And, uh, I couldn't tell anybody

And, uh, pretty girl...

And, uh...

And, uh...

And, um, it's just, I don't know,

And, um, we'll talk about the details later, okay?

And, um, well, you know what that's like, right?

And, um, yeah, Barb was just like...

And, um...

And, you know, I can just grind it up and, you know...

And, you know, people get really envious.

And, you know, see what you're doing.

And...

And... and there's, like, a really easy comedown.

And... I really loved your message earlier, so...

Announce his retirement.

Anxiety. Irritable bowel syndrome.

Anxious exhaustion.

Any time.

Any what... distinguishing marks?

Anybody can be your kind of man.

Anybody, like, priests, people just project their...

Anyone, really, can do it.

Anything beyond their own understanding, okay?

Anything I don't know?

Anyway

Are the kids okay?

Are they big? Are they little?

Are those ******* books?

Are we doing this? Hey, wait.

Are we going in circles?

Are we going in circles?

Are we talking about grandpa Mort?

Are you being serious?

Are you doing okay? I know it's so weird.

Are you going to be like this all day?

Are you going to dance?

Are you in the show or something? What are you wearing?

Are you in?

Are you kidding me?

Are you kidding me?

Are you kidding me? No on does that.

Are you kidding?

Are you kidding?

Are you kidding? That's not experimenting.

Are you kidding? These are my peeps.

Are you married?

Are you not having any fun today?

Are you okay with me?

Are you okay?

Are you okay?

Are you okay?

Are you okay? Like... do you feel okay?

Are you okay? Like... do you feel okay?

Are you saying you want me to go with you?

Are you serious?

Are you such a fetus that you've not been in love before?

Are you sure it was Ed?

Are you sure mom likes cock?

Are you sure that's all you got for me?

Are you sure you were chosen? 'Cause...

Are you wet?

Are you... are you sure you're okay?

Are you... my, um...

Are you... you cool? You all right?

Are... are you saying that you're going to start

Arguing like that for a half an hour.

As an adjective... "A proven fact"... that works.

As if I'm a total stranger,

As usual.

Asap, 'cause dad's got me packing up all his crap

Ask him to join us.

Ask him.

Ass robics. Work out, work out.

Asshole.

At a critical moment in my journey,

At a sav on in the Philippines.

At the 7 Eleven down the street

At Trans Got Talent.

At Westlake Elementary School,

At your mouth while I...

Awesome.

Babe, check with me. See how it folds?

Babe, I did it.

Babe, I know you can't appreciate what it is to be an addict,

Babe...

Back to fucking reality, Stonehenge.

Banned because of hormones or something?

Barb and your daughter are at my house.

Barb started talking about how her sister's lupus is affecting her.

Barb's a scratch golfer, and I was thinking

Barbara Kingslover.

Barbara Kingsolver didn't write that.

Barry, what did she say?

Barry's looking for ya.

Batteries, something.

Be careful with any mechanical devices.

Be careful.

Because dad wanted to go into the woods

Because I don't need judaism. Who wants to be *******?

Because I have an interloper in my body.

Because I hope one day

Because I'm a renowned scholar and academic?

Because I'm an adult. Okay?

Because I'm really fucked up right now,

Because if she told you to fire me,

Because if you're done, that's fine,

Because it just wasn't time, you know?

Because one of them is 17, so I'm not fucking her.

Because only a fucking moron caveman would light a fire

Because sexercise.com was taken.

Because something happened at lunch that came out, mom,

Because that's our family religion, right? Secrecy

Because the laundry is coin operated,

Because the only thing that matters is

Because the temple is sending over a rabbi later

Because this is the ladies' restroom,

Because we come from Shtetl people.

Because we had said that we wouldn't do this,

Because women bled without dying, men were frightened.

Because you actually seem like you like music.

Because you can't handle money, which is proven by the fact

Because you care about me so much, Josh?

Because you don't pay back dick. You understand?

Because, my beautiful girl,

Because, uh, if you say good luck that's bad luck.

Because, yeah, our shrink was a little late,

Been a little while since the squash courts, huh?

Before anyone notices.

Before Jack had came out to me as a cross dresser,

Before they announced their divorce?

Before they were my age?

Before they were my age.

Before this moment is a sham?

Being alive is being sad.

Being the first one to find that band that's untouched.

Believe me, we did not talk about

Best to wait out the brunch rush with us.

Beyond their understanding?

Bianca's gonna start calling me?

Big boobs.

Big girls have bush, daddy.

Blades? Where's my blade.

Blinds closed.

Bloody marys?

Both kinds?

Both of your tits.

Bottoms up, freaks.

Boy, it is so hard...

Boys! Boys!

Bueno, bueno. Me gusto.

But 40 years?

But because his little toenail is so little and squished,

But don't tell anybody. Don't tell Josh.

But feeling is too feminine.

But he's still really a boy, right?

But I am afraid that I am making this shit up in my head

But I didn't do that.

But I didn't tell you that I... that... that I lived there...

But I don't really...

But I don't think you get to decide when his is over.

But I feel totally transformed.

But I like this.

But I need all three of my babies close, close, close.

But I prepared something.

But I wanted you to know that I was thinking about you,

But I will, and it will be soon...

But I'd love you to be there.

But I'm not a dyke, I'm, like, really into dudes, you know?

But if you're feeling possessive,

But it didn't occur to me to do anything about it.

But it's actually really important to the sound.

But it's all blended in with the good stuff.

But it's like I... But I...

But it's not right.

But it's not the way it feels.

But not too mean. A joke.

But seriously, no mentioning this to Ali, okay?

But she didn't know what to do with them

But then it was still happening.

But this is a fucking big deal for me.

But this is me. This is how I look...

But this is me. This is how I look...

But we have a big house.

But we're gonna ease Ed into...

But we're still men.

But what about you, mom? What's your excuse?

But what... what... like, toys. That's just plastic.

But when I get my new label goin', it's gonna be major.

But why do I have to leave?

But you and I both know

But you are having sex, aren't you?

But you know how with "E", you, like, you have to take Xanax

But you look totally normal,

But you probably can't do this with your arms.

But you take a bath in about that much water,

But you were with Quinn before Barb, so...

But you're gonna burn your finger.

But you've got to respect the fact that you're living with one.

But, uh...

But, um, I manage Sylvia, and, uh,

But, um, you know.

But, you know, fuck it.

By even just, like, carving out an hour

By me over there.

By right thing you mean we live in the mountains,

By someone who's actually moved by loving you?

By your tone, I'm assuming

Bye bye.

Bye, girl.

Bye.

Bye.

Bye. Later.

Bye. See you next year.

Calls it the ghetto.

Camp Woman Wonka.

Can chop wood in it.

Can I be buried next to you and Tammy

Can I fly your plane?

Can I get in there?

Can I go into your room?

Can I go to the bathroom?

Can I have a candy bar?

Can I have a drumroll, please?

Can I help? I would love to help.

Can I just interview you for a week?

Can I just, like, wait for you?

Can I pay up now, please?

Can I persuade you to join me in a festive cocktail?

Can I tell you that?

Can I use your bathroom?

Can I vent? I'm just venting.

Can I?

Can we calm down for a second?

Can we get on with it, honey?

Can we get two bloody marys right away?

Can we have a quarter pound of this, please?

Can we take the kids out so you guys can continue

Can we try something different?

Can you imagine?

Can you just leave me alone, please.

Can you just put it in the refrigerator?

Can you not tell me?

Can you take that? Do you mind?

Can you tell me something?

Can you, uh, lift it up a little bit?

Can you... could you just sit down and order some food?

Can't help you in that department right now.

Celebration weekend.

Cell phone rule is in place.

Chaser? What does that even mean, a chaser?

Check me in the loony bin.

Check.

Cheers.

Chill out.

Claire would...

Clap once if you can hear me, everybody.

Clap twice!

Clearly.

Colton.

Come and get it, chickies.

Come back here.

Come here, come here, come here, come here.

Come here.

Come here.

Come here.

Come here. Come on, come on.

Come here. Let's go.

Come in! Oh, thank you.

Come join us.

Come on

Come on in.

Come on in. Let me show you around.

Come on in. This is Sarah.

Come on, come on.

Come on, hon.

Come on, hon.

Come on, man.

Come on, my Italian queen.

Come on, Shay.

Come on, walk with me. Come on.

Come on.

Come on.

Come on.

Come on. ♪ Ali, Ali McNally ♪

Come on. Come on in, honey. It's fine.

Come on. Come with me.

Come on. Now you got to tell me.

Come on. Put that away.

Come to think of it, I am a little bit sad.

Coming out at 68?

Coming out is coming out is coming out.

Cool?

Cool.

Cool. So she's okay? She survived?

Could be like this for the rest of my life.

Could I get a credit card, please?

Creepy?

Crunchy, crispy,

Cuteness.

Dad is a woman, thinks he's a woman,

Dad, I'm gonna put these baby backs in a ziploc for you

Dad, just tell us if you have cancer.

Dad, that was, like, six years ago.

Dad, this is Bianca.

Dad, what are you doing over here?

Dad, what are you wearing?

Dad, you don't need all this food, right?

Dad, you have sauce right here.

Dad, you look good. He looks good.

Dad, you shouldn't be doing your own laundry.

Dad?

Dad?

Dad?

Dad's gotta buy some clothes. What about when

Dad's not getting engaged.

Daddy, normally I would object to the use of the word panties.

Daddy, oh, my God!

Dale, I got one more for you, sweetheart.

Damn!

Dancing.

Date night turns you into a monster.

Dating younger women doesn't come cheap.

Davina, my lovely friend, and I are doing

Dear God. Josh, seriously?

Derek, Derek. You're too far away from us.

Did a Capri Sun explode back here?

Did he have the lower surgery?

Did I tell you that Barb's sister Joni has lupus?

Did Josh ever tell you that he loved you?

Did my parents know that we were... what we were doing?

Did she not tell you that we might be getting married?

Did they discuss it with you?

Did we really have somebody in Treblinka?

Did you already register at Tumbleweed?

Did you do hormones? Is that all right to ask?

Did you fucking say this to all of them? Shut up!

Did you get a job yet?

Did you have a horrible Bat Mitzvah?

Did you know that person...

Did you miss the part where I said he's playing Mahjong?

Did you order the Cole slaw?

Did you say something to Raquel?

Did your dad just go to work without saying good bye?

Did your sisters talk about...

Didn't Ed have any family of his own?

Didn't realize I was puffy.

Diet with the vanilla.

Do all men do this?

Do all men do this?

Do I not?

Do I remember?

Do not cry in front of this woman."

Do not piss off Esther.

Do not say that.

Do not think about touching those or opening those.

Do that.

Do these people got a way with a wedge.

Do what?

Do you have any idea how much money we're going to lose?

Do you have any reaction to it?

Do you have any tofu schmear?

Do you have the vape pen that I bought you?

Do you kids want me to have cancer?

Do you know how to twerk?

Do you know what's really good for sadness?

Do you know? I think alcohol.

Do you like it?

Do you like kids?

Do you like me?

Do you like them? My God, you like them?

Do you like to dress up in women's clothes?

Do you love me?

Do you mean to tell me that you've gone through

Do you really not know what spit roasting is?

Do you remember, um, my parents' house?

Do you see that person over there with the gray hair?

Do you still want to date women?

Do you think it's, like, suspicious

Do you think that's okay?

Do you think, like, about what we did to them,

Do you understand?

Do you want me to go with you?

Do you want one?

Do you want some?

Do you want to check it out with me?

Do you want to go Joshua Tree,

Do you want to help me carry some of this stuff to the car?

Does Ed have end of life directives?

Does he have any distinguishing marks?

Does it have a vagina?

Does it make you moody or anything?

Does it matter?

Does mom know about dad?

Does Shotgun Willy's do the coleslaw

Doesn't it occur to you that this might make me feel

Doesn't mean you have to be like this family.

Doesn't that mean you might feel the same towards me?

Doesn't that seem weird?

Don't be so self centered.

Don't call me a stalker.

Don't call me Tam.

Don't say anything.

Don't say anything. Don't say anything.

Don't talk about that now.

Don't tell Josh or Ali.

Don't tell me it's the cock ring again.

Don't tell your mother I said that.

Don't worry about it.

Don't you always think about this guy in his apartment?

Don't you remember, you took me up there for the,

Dressing up like a lady all the time?

Drop it! Drop it!

Dude, you have to get off that.

During my... my recent life transition.

Echo Park and Silver Lake are...

Ed is in a dire state. We've been talking about this.

Ed is missing. We're calling to see if they found him.

Ed made Shelly happy.

Ed Paskowitz that you saw?

Ed's missing, he can't talk,

Eight...

Either way, good riddance.

Elegant.

Ella forgot her dream light.

Emotional buttons will do so

Enjoy yourselves.

Enjoy, ladies.

Enjoy, ladies.

Enjoying the Shivah?

Especially now, and I gotta tell you,

Even better.

Even when his health suffered,

Ever since I was... I was five,

Every fuckin' time.

Everyone has distinguishing marks.

Everyone has one.

Everyone has one.

Everyone take a plank position. Good, plank position.

Everyone thinks since he started losing words

Everything cool?

Everything dad has said and done

Everything looks exactly the same.

Ew, no one goes to the Beverly Center.

Ew.

Except for, like, your pony tail's longer.

Excuse me, Kristin... for a house exactly in this condition.