Community (2009) - Season 4 Edit

A babbling brook like I described?

A banner and some soda Troy forgot to bring?

A big man. A huge, throbbing, sweaty...

A bird named Troy, and a hamster named Troy.

A C minus is not a failing grade. To me it is.

A cartoonishly large cake.

A church going mother of three to be smart, huh?

A cool, smart lawyer like yourself

A craigslist ad an hour ago

A dozen scouts got buried in an avalanche.

A few shadows, a couple of mirror tricks.

A few times, if that's okay.

A few times, if that's okay.

A gift creates obligation. I don't see it that way.

A gym is a building,

A little late to the hipster party much?

A little less short term corporate housing.

A little less time in the library

A little much on the much much?

A little, custom built latex walls,

A long time ago, I'd watch Game of Thrones.

A lot of filmmakers use crane shots to elicit emotion.

A lot of somethings.

A lovely place. Very feminine.

A man made structure inside which

A mom, an activist,

A peat bog.

A perfect student, a lifelong learner,

A prank on a prank.

A quantum spanner.

A rain forest theme and buy palm fronds

A real History class we'll lose, like, $40,000 in grant money.

A really good PE teacher I know

A reminder of a bygone era when men were men,

A sidekick, and Abed.

A small one.

A sock hop Britta has all but "Britta'd"

A Sophie B. Hawkins dance

A spike in production in June,

A string quartet.

A strong, independent woman,

A student is choking on a plastic golf ball.

A third reason.

Aah!

Aah! Pierce, just let go.

Abed brought me here to prove to all of you

Abed gets it. Oh, you're all hiding out in here.

Abed seems to be having a good time, which is all that matters.

Abed was having some anxiety about all the changes this year,

Abed, a pop culture reference is more of the same.

Abed, do not write that down.

Abed, I know it's disappointing to you,

Abed, in the real world people can actually get hurt.

Abed, it's amazing.

Abed, Shirley is our friend, and we're guests in her home.

Abed, sit.

Abed, the gluon photo line looks really long.

Abed, we don't have origin stories.

Abed, when you brought this group together,

Abed, where have you been?

Abed, you can't

Abed, you gotta teach me how to use that camera.

Abed, you ready for our last first day of school?

ABED: Coming.

ABED: Hey, Troy. Hey, Abed.

ABED: I'd like to tell you Annie avoided Shirley's doctor sister in law,

ABED: It did feel like a prison,

ABED: One thing was clear to me and the crew.

ABED: Pierce was our last hope, or so we thought.

ABED: That's how it went for the afternoon.

ABED: We never got to do a Shawshank homage.

Abed?

Abed?

Abed?

Abed. Abed.

Abed. This is Kat.

Abed's Happy Community College show is filmed

Abed's right.

About all that stuff you said about messiness.

About Changnesia.

About graduating, am I?

About how I...

About how to impress the Macguffin people.

About showing growth, and I was thinking

About the nature of I'm so sorry.

About the thing you plan to make a documentary about?

About who misses me the most.

About you wanting to play house with me? Pshaw!

Absolutely.

According to dean law, I must now give her my amulet.

Actually,

Actually, can we stop at the post office first?

Actually, having dual careers has put a lot of stress on our marriage.

Actually, he's kind of going through some stuff.

Actually, I figured that these paintball warping guns

Actually, I was thinking about coming clean.

Actually, I'd like to stay for a little while.

Actually, it's not that bad, but this keeps the story moving.

Actually, Jessica did mention that she's cold.

Actually, no.

Actually, that sounds good. No hugs. Wouldn't want one.

Actually, these will also work for Valentine's Day,

Actually, they told me my birth name is Benjamin Chang,

Actually, we were thinking this is our last hurrah.

Actually, why don't you go with Britta?

Actually, you can count me in on this one.

Actually, you know, I was talking to the ladies.

Admit it, Kevin.

Admit it, Thanksgiving softened that Winger underbelly.

After a night of running in circles,

After I got shot, I faked my death

After I took summer classes.

After just one Forensics class,

After knowing Chang.

After our father died,

After seeing it on Law & Order.

After that day, Jeff seemed like a man unburdened.

After we got back from the woods,

After we had taken the ice cream class together.

After we met, I abandoned my evil goal

Again, apologies. Changnesia.

Again, we thought you were dead.

Age, 22, total years spent in high school, seven.

Agh! You? You're pre med!

Agh.

Ah ha.

Ah, but let me reveal the fortune inside this cookie.

Ah, great! My "G"s are back.

Ah, here we go. Let's keep going. This is our library.

Ah, here's the answer.

Ah, I shouldn't have heard that.

Ah, Jeffrey.

Ah, quite a turnout, Britta.

Ah, stupid.

Ah, that will never get old.

Ah, this is the best thing ever.

Ah, what a day we have planned for young Archie.

Ah!

Ah!

Ah!

Ah! Here we go! We're back!

Ah! Here we go! We're back!

Ah! Now, I have time to hit the seamstress.

Ah! Oh, geez!

Ah.

Ah.

Ah. ♪ Here in the woods ♪

Ah. Good.

Ah. There you people are.

Ahem!

Ahem. But what it really means

Ahh!

Ahh!

Ahh! A little friction. That usually indicates heat.

Ahh! Not so fast, you two.

Ahhhh!

Alessandra, come on up.

All for one, and one dude we can all leave behind.

All I need is a disguise.

All of our wishes come true.

All of this was once the future.

All right, Abed, get us in panning singles

All right, action. Okay, you going to make an entrance? Great.

All right, all right.

All right, Britta doesn't have one. Who else?

All right, I may have been play acting that we were married

All right, I mean, I guess I'll go talk to him.

All right, I'll pass flyers at Yogurtsburgh.

All right, let's get one more for safety.

All right, man. Change Up.

All right, Mr. Winger. Et al. Britta.

All right, Mr. Winger. Et al. Britta.

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right. Are you ready?

All right. Good night. Good night.

All right. Got money, bro?

All right. Simmer Dean.

All the time.

All the way out of town.

All these balls.

All these years like a sucker?

All this hoopla is not what Greendale really is.

All this time, I wondered what it was

All true, but I'm probably not your best target.

All we need is a clever ruse Strike that. All we need is a ruse.

All we needed was a passing grade

All: Delta Cubes! Delta Cubes!

All: Delta Cubes! Delta Cubes!

ALL: Hi!

ALL: Oh!

All: Pop pop!

ALL: What do we want? ALL: Justice!

ALL: What?

Almost blew up the school,

Already forgotten.

Also plumbing and air conditioning are things I think about.

Also the space travel.

Also, and I hate to bring this up,

Also, I didn't like the way you were being such a jerk to her.

Also, what the hell is going on?

Also, you may have experimental monkey fever.

Alternatively, someone might just happen to have a pair of tickets

Although I have no way of knowing.

Although it did get pretty hairy after that

Although, he did seem disappointed

Although, no one's seen him

Am I the only one freaked out by that? Abed was just showing

Amdeansia. Amdeansia. I'm all turned around.

Amelia Earhart?

An "End of the Video Store Chain Industry" sale,

An "entrepreneu her," if you will.

An appletini. Oh, God, don't make me order that.

An asteroid could hit.

An excellent attempt, Winger, but we are smarter than you.

An illegitimate half Brother he never knew he had.

And a C minus means I fail to get Valedictorian.

And a marriage.

And a second turkey burger, but with no bun.

And a two year old box of Raisinets,

And Abed won't switch back until we get that DVD.

And according to Greendale bylaws,

And agility.

And all thanks to Britta.

And all they found was a little human rights abuse

And allow some lonely, ridiculous person

And apologize to the theater manager.

And apparently, reading the same eight magazines the entire time.

And as I lay me down,

And as they say in the movie Gotcha:

And asparagus wrapped in salmon.

And at first, I was scared, because, uh, I'm the last face

And blast that sucker full of closure.

And by the way,

And can you say "powwow" instead of "conversation"?

And can't possibly abide by an F,

And color coded the best potential routes.

And confiscate their chips.

And crab soccer.

And doing our doable, passable banners!

And each of you will oversee them in a "mocker room" setting

And emotional constables, and we need both

And enjoy it there.

And everyone deserves to have what we have.

And everyone forgave you.

And everyone knows if you give the Germans something small,

And fantasized about celebrating over mimosas with you!

And find out what's happening in the universes

And follow Chang around for his day to day.

And gave Leonard the wrong address.

And genuine thoughts on Geraldine ferraro.

And get out of here.

And get some more chips.

And getting up into some puffy paint

And give Winger the satisfaction?

And Greendale is Magnitude saying "pop pop."

And had a lot of great ideas

And he blamed it all on you throwing some dice.

And he doesn't think it should be.

And he is never mad at me, and

And he loves it.

And he starts with the panic room?

And he still turned out softer than wet cheese.

And he was recently arrested for selling marijuana

And he would have explained it to me in very clear terms

And he's been all alone up there in that mansion

And here at Greendale, that is a big fat no no.

And here is our state of the art 1989 library

And here...we...go.

And hey, that's normal.

And his ghost has returned to scold me

And holiday suicide. Oh.

And honest, and for syncing your mouth and hand movements.

And hopefully, one day, pay for this documentary.

And how many people will be dining today, Mrs. Winger?

And I can prove it to you from the comparative comfort

And I do know you're not that person anymore.

And I don't think you're anything like your father.

And I feel great about it

And I got this address from the dean.

And I have a final tomorrow!

And I have a surprise for you guys.

And I have no intention of being here late.

And I just need to know

And I just took one for the team

And I just want to say I'm proud of you.

And I let students get away with practically anything on this campus,

And I love being around you.

And I made a mistake.

And I must have bumped a switch or something.

And I need to make that anybody me.

And I realized I've been acting like a jerk.

And I said, "Hi, not calling you Kevin. What are you having?"

And I said, "I'm Kevin, and you are?"

And I saw actual hair that looked a lot like mine

And I still have those pants. True story. Ha ha ha.

And I still keep them in a box underneath my bed 22 years later

And I think maybe I did something right.

And I think this might be it.

And I think you used that particular phrasing

And I thought I saw Andre walk by with another woman.

And I thought my hair looked fake.

And I treated him with respect and dignity.

And I used to run the frozen yogurt machine

And I wasn't so scared.

And I wouldn't have it any other way.

And I, for one, am not gonna stand by

And I'll have fun doing it.

And I'm definitely not rambling, there's no heat.

And I'm gonna go get

And I'm *******!

And I'm one history credit away from graduating.

And I'm sure we can get this whole thing sorted out.

And I'm the child.

And I'm willing to start over fresh if you are.

And I've never seen blue man group!

And if it makes it any easier,

And if you freak out, it's only gonna push Abed away.

And if you really wanna know who the villain is here,

And if you run away now, he'll never know.

And impressive video telecom screen with remote.

And instead of Sadie Hawkins,

And intro to senselessness were all full.

And Israeli folk dancing every Friday night?

And it didn't work?

And it doesn't affect his breathing?

And it is gonna be amazing,

And it was completely different from what I'd known before

And it was happening so fast,

And it was painted by our professor Ed Hardy...

And it was scary,

And it was the best time you ever had with your father.

And it was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen.

And it would have gone down a lot better

And it's a real problem.

And it's either us or us.

And it's in this safe.

And it's not about graduating.

And it's not like he even remembered I existed.

And Jeff had prepared quite the presentation.

And Jesus don't snitch.

And just like ice cream,

And keep dropping money into the school indefinitely. Got it.

And left them all night in the grocery store

And little baby Ben is an ewok.

And locked me in a basement for months.

And loosened our tongues.

And make everybody happy.

And maybe license an expensive song?

And me leaving seems to have made you independent,

And meeting these people changed my life.

And more than a little convenient,

And my dog.

And my first name is

And my love for you is immeasurable,

And neither are we, Troy, because it's not in here,

And no one remembers anyone else's, including mine?

And nobody handles a razor like an Italian.

And not an angry trout.

And not because I found out if we don't offer

And not for the usual reasons.

And not just because saying "no" would crush this poor girl,

And not only because it's mandatory.

And now I must sleep with the sexiest woman here

And now I'd very much like to continue this conversation in private.

And now I'm in deep...

And now I've screwed things up. I don't know if I can make them right.

And now, for my most terrible secret.

And now, I believe Jeff Winger has a presentation.

And now, on the anniversary of my empire's destruction,

And now, thanks to Kevin's complete misreading of the situation,

And now, the last award of the night.

And now, you've admitted that a strange man

And on my way back from the cellar,

And once again, it shall be us

And our family is more than the seven of us.

And passable assures my graduation,

And Pierce died, and Annie went insane,

And Pierce keeps staring into that void

And pointless electives.

And post them on the Internet for money?

And pray to God that I wake up in the middle of a final

And president of campus crusade for Christ.

And pretend you're the same guy you were four years ago.

And probably Butcher you guys for going along with it.

And rig the sprinkler system to...

And say, "who gives a crap who my dad was?

And second, who can be sure what happened in this apartment?

And serve us all.

And she'd be happy to go to the dance with you.

And so I look at you, so self reliant and well adjusted,

And soft.

And someone with the gravitas of Morgan Freeman had to narrate it.

And still useless.

And still you talk.

And stop Evil Jeff.

And suddenly I'm not cold all the time.

And suddenly, you're the bad guy. It's a reference. That's my humor.

And tell them they are welcome to share our room.

And that failed ventriloquist's name was Slobodan Miloéevié.

And that is what I would be saying if I gave a crap.

And that means, at any given moment, one of us is screwing up so badly

And that meant only one thing made sense conceptually.

And that proves he cares.

And that show was called Hogan's Heroes?

And that study room is our home.

And that, as compensation for the mental anguish you caused us,

And that's coming from Jeff, and we used to date, so

And that's if we want an "A."

And that's not our weakness. It's our strength.

And that's when I told my old firm to shove it.

And that's why Pierce

And the "Wasting My Life" tour continues.

And the bumbling Germans always lose.

And the winner is...

And the winner is...

And then does that big public declaration of love.

And then forget I knew what it was

And then forgot.

And then go there.

And then I may have lied to cover that lie,

And then in the season finale,

And then let Abed decide, instead of making it a competition.

And then Shirley said, "But he didn't.

And then Shirley said, "I don't care what he calls himself.

And then the staff thought you were cheating, and I had to save face.

And then you had to take it too far, like you always do with that room.

And then, at some point,

And then, boom, closure.

And then, I met her kid.

And then, we are meeting back here

And therefore cannot appreciate the homage.

And these are impossible to counterfeit

And these two guys are Jeffrey.

And they always give me free stuff,

And they call us the worst.

And they can't switch back until they find it.

And they're awesome, and they always work.

And think things through?

And this assignment? Passable, so passable.

And this jelly bean kaleidoscope.

And this one is Fiona.

And this one's for the amount of rubber wasted

And this study group... has me.

And to all a good wassailing.

And Toby's really, really great.

And tonight is their hallo wine special.

And tonight's Sophie B. Hawkins dance

And Troy. And Zac Efron.

And we are not going.

And we can't get less than an F,

And we go tell Abed you're back in your own bodies,

And we had it until you dragged us into this mess.

And we shall be out of your heavily product laden hair. Heh.

And we were wondering if we could take a peek

And we'll be done within the hour.

And we'll be sipping sambuca at Skeeper's in no time.

And we're all Spider Men.

And we're back!

And we're gonna keep changing in unexpected ways.

And we're still gonna be friends,

And what confused you?

And what I hear through your walls with a glass to my ear?

And what kind of scotch would your husband prefer?

And what's this about a road trip?

And when people come they're gonna be like,

And when she comes I'm gonna be like,

And when that day comes,

And when was this?

And while, for a latchkey kid with no ******* friends,

And while, for a latchkey kid with no ******* friends,

And who cares if we have soda?

And why do you wanna see it?

And with a small shred of dignity.

And women were sex cooks who did laundry

And yet, here you all are,

And you already admitted that you faked that injury

And you are just some mindless robot.

And you can be whoever you wanna be.

And you can eliminate your competition in one easy step.

And you defended her.

And you didn't ruin anything.

And you do.

And you just leave me alone without so much as sending a text message?

And you know that.

And you know what that sound is. It's the Troy and Abed podcast.

And you know what?

And you know who invented gravity, right?

And you know, if you need a tutor for math,

And you know, maybe a faithful dog

And you make a banner as Abed,

And you said, "Chang didn't sleep with a stripper.

And you said, "None of this."

And you said, "Not calling you Kevin,"

And you two represent several significant quadrants.

And you will be graduated

And you won't have to.

And you.

And you're all crappin' in your short pants.

And you're going to be stuck here, playing high school.

And your American accent isn't at all convincing.

And your recent divorce.

And, believe me, it tied in a lot of things.

And, he had to spend a whole day with walking dead.

And, I will explain the value of this whale by describing one

And, if so, did it fall out naturally?

And, it all culminates

And, just as his character lost his mind,

And, Kevin, you're one of us. Thank you.

And, worst of all, I hurt you.

And, yes, Jeffrey, I assume you're out,

And, yes, she did stab several pharmacists,

Andre never would've met her.

Annie explained to me that "no gifts" means "bring gifts."

Annie gets an A, Pierce buys his from Neil, so that's solid.

Annie is the three.

Annie, don't listen to him.

Annie, I have

Annie, remember. We're doing doable and passable.

Annie, Shirley, go find out what's keeping Leonard on top.

Annie, we need to find out

Annie, what is this?

Annie, why are you acting like a mistress

ANNIE: Just a minute.

Annie.

Annie.

Annie. How is that better?

Annie's right.

Anyhoo, I just thought I'd mosey on over here,

Anyhoo, it is a Sadie Hawkins dance,

Anyone can do a keg stand.

Anyone can take PE

Anyone not on medication?

Anything anyone else said...

Anyway, I used to go to Greendale just like you guys

Anyway, I wanted to follow Andre and the woman,

Apparently I'm your DJ tonight.

Apparently watching Invictus didn't do the trick.

Archie Decoste!

Archie is gonna love this banner.

Archie, wake up!

Archie, why don't you "hang ten" on the web

Archie: Wah! Sweet!

Are attractive women?

Are full of meats and hard boiled eggs?

Are having better luck in the library.

Are the ones without locks.

Are we going in circles?

Are we ready? Gonna take it from from

Are we still on for Senor Kevin's

Are we?

Are you actually suggesting that a professor at Greendale

Are you comparing me to Hitler?

Are you enjoying the sock hop?

Are you gonna pass some apps soon

Are you guys freshmen?

Are you here to kill Jeff?

Are you in here?

Are you kidding me? It made the scene.

Are you ready, buddy?

Are you really this naive? Am I naive?

Are you sure this is gonna work?

Are you sure Troy and Abed want us here?

Are you sure you don't have a problem with our age difference?

Are you sure? 'Cause I was awfully good at it.

Are you sure? I've told you before.

Are you two as they say on TV making a connection?

Aren't you?

As a political activist has definitely not changed.

As far as graduations go, it's boring but grounded.

As I really loaded up on that dreadful tapas.

As long as you guys are with me,

As much as we love that magnitude,

As the graceful one in the group,

As the snack inspector, doing random spot checks,

As they say in Ferris Bueller, "dankeschén. "

As transient mountain men.

As treasurer of the forensics club.

As well as capers, romps, and exploits.

As you know, our student records are stored

As you lumbered around the room,

At his transcripts to see how that is even possible.

At least have the decency to do it when I'm in spin class.

At least, that's what people tell me.

At my old partner's firm.

At some point, go, "Hey, Yoda, I know that guy"?

At the Greendale Palladium at 4:15 in the afternoon.

At the Love Hut?

At the peak of milkweed allergy season?

At the risk of discovering I'm living two parallel lives

At your age, in the bedroom...

August. And this one is James.

Aw, he's a national treasure.

Aw!

Aw.

Aw. Thanks for the support.

Aw. That's nice.

Awesome!

Aww.

Aww.

Aww.

Aww.

Babe, we should order.

Back for more, huh?

Back in 1968, Leonard got an "A" in Rotary Phone Maintenance.

Back to you.

Ballin'.

Basketball, football,

Batman has the Joker,

Batman is sort of gay. Be right back.

Be careful, now. It's Abed's camera.

Be free, my friends.

Be honest. Your section sucked, right?

Be right back.

Because Abed isn't even here.

Because Abed's my friend, and he would have told me.

Because after that woman chewed them out for three hours,

Because change is always scary.

Because each one has been marked by my distinct bite print.

Because for some reason, men find these feelings to be psycho.

Because Greendale has given us so much.

Because he could tell my section was written by a strong, independent

Because he doesn't know about money.

Because he is not gonna take that class

Because he's afraid if he doesn't, it just ends.

Because I am most likely to succeed.

Because I can travel through time and space,

Because I care about you.

Because I didn't want Jeff to make fun of me,

Because I get confused sometimes.

Because I got 17 cards.

Because I had to go to school here.

Because I have

Because I haven't told you the good news.

Because I just watched a Burn Notice. Heh.

Because I know you've seen Star Wars.

Because I thought we were getting an F.

Because if you are, you're legally bound to tell me, or else it's entrapment.

Because if you knew what spooked me,

Because it can't happen, weirdo.

Because it proves that someone, at some point, cared about me.

Because my husband's a tasteless man slut.

Because no one wants to be the betrayer.

Because of what I said?

Because of you we got to reinvent ourselves at Greendale.

Because of your track record of literally being too cool for school.

Because she finds me too manipulative?

Because she intimidates you sexually.

Because that I know I can be good at.

Because then hotels wouldn't exist.

Because then you could go backwards

Because they might give the school money to study Changnesia.

Because they were pursuing Linda. David doesn't exist.

Because we like Star Wars.

Because we're all scared of what happens

Because when it comes right down to it,

Because whoever it was, I know it was some flawed, selfish,

Because you are only gonna see this once.

Because you couldn't take the pressure

Because you have in fact succeeded in changing your grade.

Because you have something in your teeth.

Because you'll ruin it.

Because you're afraid of needles.

Because you're not a therapist

Because you're scared, but Britta deserves better.

Because, in the face of all logic and reason,

Because, Inspector Spacetime,

Because, that's right, I'm taking it back!

Bedroom. Now.

Been in the fridge for two years. Saving it for a special occasion.

Been in there long?

Beer me, bitte.

Before a live audience inside of my head.

Before I came out here to be free.

Before I fired my maid.

Before I forget, here is your check.

Before I get a casserole that's all marshmallow."

Before that old guy broke it.

Before the graduation.

Begging for scraps of his father's approval.

Begins in one minute.

Being good somewhere.

Ben...

Bennett lockup was not where we belonged.

Bernie?

Besides, anything could happen between now and that dance.

Besides, I think I have a fun and fair way

Best friends!

Bet you didn't expect me to fake a haunted house

Beware the Ides of March, Mr. Winger.

Big boobs, redhead, but doctor," question mark.

Bleu, Blanc, Rouge?

Blew me away.

Blindly follows a charismatic golden throated leader.

Bollocks. Yeah

Bonding.

Boo! Boo!

Both help Abed find someone. Why don't we each pick a girl

BOTH: Oh.

Bow before Thor axis

Bow before Thoraxis!

Bow before...

Brand new. (Laughs)

Bring it to me strong, old man monkey strength!

Bring on summer winter.

BRITTA : Hey, Jeff. What's up?

Britta didn't back down. That makes no sense.

Britta for the whoops!

Britta introduced a new rule...

Britta said, "Open your eyes, people."

Britta was talking about a few of her latest causes.

Britta,

Britta, did you ever take pictures of your feet

Britta, give Archie your scarf so he can dry his kicks

Britta, I Wait.

Britta, information is ammo. And what we did was not dating.

Britta, we're running low on chips.

Britta, would you agree to be bonded to me forever

Britta, you're not coming.

BRITTA: I'll take it.

BRITTA: Oh, cool.

BRITTA: That is so great.

BRITTA: Was there a female inspector?

BRITTA: Yes. TROY: That's a Wednesday.

Britta.

Britta. Annie.

Britta. Annie.

Britta's on the prowl for fresh therapy meat.

Britta's right.

Britta's the worst.

Browse the available literature about Jesus as your personal savior, or not.

Busted. Busted? For what?

But that doesn't mean

But according to my research,

But actually not for profit performance art.

But Annie and I are a close three and two, respectively.

But are you Nigel Cuthbertson, the actor who played Thoraxis?

But aren't you glad we didn't turn it into a whole big macho war thing?

But as a woman

But assisting in Kevin's recovery

But at least we were feeling crappy together.

But banners are kind of my specialt oh.

But because I don't want you to miss out on the opportunity of a lifetime.

But by the vanquished?

But by using a special, shiny glass

But come on, it was a small mistake.

But committing to them isn't.