Community (2009) - Season 2 Edit

A baby is coming out of Shirley's vagina 2 feet from us.

A blanket fort. Wow!

A butt load?

A candy cane forest. We're all running through the candy cane forest.

A champagne bath and a red sports car?

A cigar cutter, Maxim and hot sauce. It's a theme gift.

A competition reflecting the pointlessness of life.

A council was called.

A dark, vast conspiracy

A deadlier weapon than any one item in the box.

A dream and an impulse to hide in the men's room.

A floater is when you have a number two...

A game which not only might save a life,

A gold mine. Codependent.

A great place... It's actually the cave of frozen peas.

A hamster! Way to go. Run, run!

A handful of pills at a time.

A high school drink for girls.

A journey through Winter Wonderland

A little demonstration for the dean

A lot of people want a lot of things.

A man can drop in a study room in a dumb costume with irrelevant news.

A meta film.

A movie so good it could never exist.

A perfect moment. A silent moment.

A place free from darkness.

A place free from darkness.

A place of nourishment.

A pregnancy test?

A reminder to all candidates, your microphones are currently on.

A state of the art space mission simulator,

A time for me to remind you

A time of vampires, hobgoblins, Draculas,

A tiny, thoroughly underwhelming message.

A toast to the easiest school, the dumbest dean...

A traditional maize porridge popular in Ghana?

A truck full of toxic waste crashes and spills on the dean,

A very nice message from the people who make Cougar Town.

A wallet that says "bad mother..." Table's ready.

A wealthy uncle, or buddy that may have had a sex change?

A Winger speech to take us home. What if a ghost took the pen?

A...

Aaa

Aaaaaaa Troy and Abed in the mornin'

Aah!

Aah!

Aah! Aah! Oh, Lord, he's thrown a clot. Pierce.

Aah! Get away from me. Abed just became my hero.

Aah! Ha ha ha.

Aah! Ow!

Aah! Ow! Ow!

Abducted Annie's pen, confess, repent and relinquish so we can leave.

Abed does that three times a week. I did it because I didn't wanna be me.

Abed kept making us redo our walk.

Abed liked chicken fingers, video games, Quentin Tarantino.

Abed Nadir, I'm Special Agent Robin Vohlers.

Abed sent me a new link

Abed the Undiagnosable.

Abed was being weird.

Abed, are we all in the movie right now?

Abed, are you making a religious film?

Abed, are you okay?

Abed, can we get a Pegasus?

Abed, construction on Spring Road.

Abed, could you get us some punch? On it.

Abed, did you hear that?

Abed, did you pick up my pen? It's purple with a gel grip.

Abed, did you say my Christmas self was a baby?

Abed, don't help him. You're the Dungeon Master.

Abed, focus on the sound of my voice and let yourself relax.

Abed, I may need you to come to the bank with me

Abed, I'm gonna kill you

Abed, I'm unhitching the cars, okay?

Abed, I've been a professor of psychology

Abed, it's called chemistry.

Abed, no one likes a tattletale.

Abed, no! Ah! Britta.

Abed, Shirley has informed me you are using school equipment

Abed, stop being meta.

Abed, that's wonderful. What do you think we should do?

Abed, the point being...

Abed, there is no train. This is not real.

Abed, there's a guy on your 6. I'm taking out my 9 mm.

Abed, there's no wedding. Cold feet?

Abed, they will kick you out of school. I was trying to save you.

Abed, think about this for one second.

Abed, this is so personal. And so accurate.

Abed, those guys in the suits are trashing your dorm room real bad, bro.

Abed, walk me through this.

Abed, wanna take a seat in the captain's chair?

Abed, we screwed up. You know that text we sent?

Abed, we're friends.

Abed, what are you doing?

Abed, what do we do? Shirley, pretend I'm saying this

Abed, would you like to make a Christian YouTube?

Abed, you cannot talk to us that way.

Abed, you're a computer. Scan your mainframe for some juicy memories.

Abed?

Abed?

Abed? I wouldn't do that.

Abed? Mm hm.

Abed.

Abed.

Abed. Abed, I'm Robert.

Abed. Abed: Yep.

Abed. Ugh.

About friendship.

About making movies.

About someone's weight.

About that. I gave my most convincing speech ever and it didn't take.

Absolutely, Abed.

Absolutely.

Absolutely.

Absolutely. Ow! Ah. Ah.

Access and share with us a profoundly deep and painful memory.

Accidents don't just happen over and over and over again, okay?

According to my charts, you couldn't Labor Day weekend.

According to my watch, it's 1000 o'clock.

According to our polls, the campus is almost evenly divided.

Acting is revealing, expression.

Activates the flavor. Good Lord.

Actually, Ben, I do have a wee bit of a headache, so if you could just...

Actually, flip those. Here we go, guys.

Actually, I don't care.

Actually, I had an idea. I saw a very cool burger place just a few...

Actually, I think I'm ready to see him. Good.

Actually, I'll have a root beer instead of that water.

Actually, it's one sided. That's the point.

Actually, Jeff, he's been pretty decent in this game so far.

Actually, my doctor said antacid is safe to take.

Actually, that photo is from the past. Here's one more current

Actually, that was me. I apologize.

Actually, when Buddha returns, we all take liquid form

Add Eat Pray Love soundtrack to workout mix.

Affirmative.

Affirmative. You're all bitches.

Afraid crazy Annie would go crazy for you?

After a few minutes, we both just knew we were meant to be together forever.

After a fierce campaign, I happily concede this baby to you.

After a while it can become cramped, chaotic and stinky.

After all we've been through, it almost seems impossible.

After all, we must protect our family fortune.

After everything you've put me through?

After he marries someone else, if you jump into the sack with him,

After lighting struck an oak tree in my backyard.

After my breakdown, my mom wanted to put the problem behind us

After that, they're gonna be dead. What?

After that, we'll stop fighting forever.

After the Transfer Dance.

After we clean it, can we go inside? No.

After we kissed,

After what you gave Shirley,

After you emasculated me in the ice caves,

Again with the Jesus. Jesus is always in my life.

Again with the TV crap.

Again, this is really not my field.

Agh!

Agnes, cancel my appointments.

Ah ah ah. Chef Gaga never reveals her caterer.

Ah, no parking on the dance floor, Winger. Heh, heh, heh.

Ah, one at a time, please.

Ah, pfft.

Ah, so I did. I'm sorry.

Ah!

Ah!

Ah!

Ah!

Ah!

Ah! Gay boots!

Ah! Oh, we're moving.

Ah! Okay. Troy, be honest.

Ah! Yes.

Ah.

Ah.

Ah. I took a photo.

Ah. It's Planet Abed. Subtle.

Ah. More juice, Miguel.

Ah. Stop worrying.

Ah. That's better. So weird.

Ah. The '80s

Ah. Well... If I can,

Ah. What a relief that would be.

Ah. What am I gonna wear?

Aha.

Ahem, loser.

Ahem.

Ahem. Hey. Go wait in the car.

Ahem. I'm on the clock for another hour if you want me to do some Batman lines.

Ahem. It's that very special time of year, Greendale.

Ahem. Mariah, Abed Nadir. My associate, Troy Barnes.

Ahh, paradise

Ahh!

Ahh.

Ain't no party without Drugs.

Alan and I are gonna take a quick sidebar.

Alan is to Jeff what Rob Lowe is to James Spader in 1990's Bad Influence.

Alan, did you invite me here with an ulterior motive?

Alan, it's okay. You can tell me

Alcohol and duck.

All an act. Yeah.

All caps. Filmmaking beyond film.

All elective forms must be in by the end of the day.

All I found was something called Emmanuelle in Space on laser disc.

All I heard was "suck."

All I know is it could be any of you.

All in favor of giant ears:

All in favor of tonight? Oh, I am.

All in good time, kiddo.

All movies are religious to me.

All of them important to humanity's survival.

All of your purple pens are here.

All right, all right. I'm leaving.

All right, bring him out.

All right, everybody out. I'm not kidding.

All right, everyone, go home.

All right, happy expulsion, Troy. But after cake, we cram, for realsies.

All right, here we go.

All right, I think I've seen enough and I'd like my gun back now.

All right, it's not on the floor, so whoever accidentally took...

All right, just stand right here. Okay. Okay.

All right, let us resume.

All right, let's do it. Jeff can't go. He has class.

All right, scenario B. Repeat, scenario B.

All right, see you at the funeral.

All right, shut this down.

All right, stand to the side. Stand to the side.

All right, tell everybody your name.

All right, then. The table's moving.

All right, well, don't take too long. And don't rip off this exit.

All right, well, we'll have our own little baby Ben Bennett.

All right, you got us here, unarmed, at your mercy. What do you want?

All right? Now you try with this morning.

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right. All right now.

All right. Breathe in.

All right. Not to worry. This kind of thing happens all the time.

All store purchases will show up on your credit card

All stories are about death and resurrection.

All that matters is our time...

All the more reason to get this ironed out. You called me a nerd.

All women deserve to be with me, and vice versa.

All you guys do is talk, leaving me to do the things you won't do.

All you think about is yourselves. Think about me.

All your friends are here.

All your tips? Wait, wait, all of them?

Almost invisible.

Alrighty.

Alrighty. Shouldn't there be a board

Also born that day, Tyra Banks, Marisa Tomei

Also I would like everyone here to know

Also, don't cut his legs.

Also, I noticed on page 15 I get flushed down a toilet.

Also, I think it'd be better for my character if I wear his leather jacket.

Also, if you can visualize a rabbit riding a dragon

Also, there's gonna be more than one diorama.

Although I could issue a warning for this bootleg of The Last Airbender.

Although I do have some unresolved issues there.

Although it is possible...

Am I daytime television? Very cute.

Am I out?

Am I Richard?

Am I right?

Am I the only one that remembers our horrible camping trip?

Amen. Or "a wo men."

Ammo. How much you got left? A hundred thousand dollars worth.

An actual conspiracy to round out your education

An all powerful red dragon, crashes through the trees into the clearing.

An amulet that allows the wearer full control over...

An arrow flies through the air, almost hitting Brutalitops.

An urchin.

Anchovies. Fear.

Ancient weaponry. Genital mutilation. This subject's talking my Chang uage.

And a beautiful star child is gonna slide out on a ray of sunshine

And a letter from the manufacturer promising to expand their selection.

And a local transient who liked to collect doll heads.

And a very familiar feeling is starting to come over me.

And accuse him of stealing my girlfriend.

And action.

And after all the dust and the custody was settled, the guy I really admired...

And all because we were insecure.

And all I've been used for is bait and distraction.

And all she's gotta do now is just follow it or screw it up.

And all the children have removed their outfits

And another way of saying that would be?

And as a man, he traveled far, to a new school and a new beginning.

And as a reward for your restraint, I got a little something for you.

And as I fell to the floor...

And as they described themselves walking,

And at 5:00 p.m. Today, he is stopping by Greendale.

And because I'm a really generous friend.

And because you look like a zombie. But it's not funny when you're sad.

And become a character on the show.

And before the divorce,

And before you can say 1984,

And bon appétit."

And by that, I mean he wasn't being weird.

And by the third house,

And change seats for you?

And Christmas pterodactyl.

And claim the treasure as your own.

And controlling Draconis with the amulet is...

And Crichton is longing for a planet that no longer exists.

And decide which of us you'd like to see again.

And do you understand that I still have to try?

And don't let anybody tell you different!

And don't say it's because I'm jealous of him.

And don't try reading my pa pa pa poker face.

And don't you dare intercut this with footage of me freaking out.

And donated his kidney to a temp.

And doting over me. Why don't you just leave...?

And everyone was going, "Oh, what a pretty little girl."

And felt too awkward to mention it.

And for all we know, it's you.

And freedom, well, I think that's just a little bit better.

And French cinematographer Claude Renoir.

And get a prescription for cholesterol medication.

And get that number down to average.

And get this thing out of my face.

And get to praying.

And giving him a piece of my mind!

And giving me that look you give me like I can't get erections.

And good news, there's still plenty of room in my PA Announcements class.

And guess what. I could.

And has been put on leave with pay.

And have a good time.

And he actually does teach night school here.

And he just appeared out of thin air.

And he'll be done.

And he's about to get flushed down a toilet in the next scene.

And he's coming to see the show.

And he's defrauded your school

And he's late, again. It's not your fault.

And her mom gets freaky when she hears Oingo Boingo.

And here's the prize: One hundred thousand dollars cash.

And I actually think I know a shortcut to the North Pole

And I am ejecting her from Planet Abed

And I can help you find the meaning of Christmas.

And I can't have anyone going beyond this point that's on his side.

And I do hope you have very good hearing.

And I do not have this kind of money.

And I don't mind admitting you're right, which is weird.

And I don't wanna tip it,

And I don't.

And I have a restraining order,

And I haven't even used my penis material yet.

And I hope whoever stole that pen enjoys it in hell.

And I hope you all get black mold poisoning.

And I just found out that you guys are just as dumb as me.

And I owe you an apology. I accept.

And I said, "No, that's a girl's costume."

And I said, "No, that's a girl's costume."

And I say, "Size more? Try size less." Ha ha ha.

And I still might die first.

And I think I see a solution to this

And I think in 1856, it is possible that a man was beheaded

And I think sitting through them drove me to drugs.

And I think we should commit to the format. Starting with a song.

And I throw it at the amulet around the sad naked man's neck.

And I wanna do my part to help you stay that way.

And I wanted to deal with it, so I went to rehab and she cut me off.

And I wanted to offer you my other foot.

And I was just using her to get her company in the sack.

And I will balance the school's budget

And I wish I could erase the entire night.

And I would really love a Pegasus.

And I'd like to begin with a simple question:

And I'll come in with "good one."

And I'll tell you why.

And I'm afraid I'm putting my foot down.

And I'm gonna drive her to the hospital.

And I'm gonna wear your little brother's skin like pajamas.

And I'm seeing my 10th Christmas.

And I'm sure this pregnancy scare's been weighing on you all week, right?

And I'm the only one here that does.

And I'm winning! We've created a monster.

And I've been assured, huh,

And I've got just the crew to wash it.

And I've never taken you as seriously as I should have.

And if a guy wants to make a puppet of me, that's hardly your concern

And if elected, I promise to make Greendale

And if it's Chang's, we'll go for golf.

And if there's one thing greendale's taught me, it's...

And if this baby...

And if we start picking and choosing... Where do we stop? I get it.

And if you don't help me, you're a bad person.

And if you ever took the time to get to know her...

And if you unscrew the top of that stupid thing,

And if your name is Kevin,

And in 30 seconds, he hadn't made a reference to anything.

And in the last paragraph, they said, "You could come visit the set."

And is supporting two children.

And it both is and isn't part of the movie.

And it rhymes. People love it.

And it sends a mixed message.

And it turns out, I already ate it.

And it was mountain lion jumped all the way down and eat my leg.

And it'll strangle your stupid cars' little butts

And it's "ha, ha."

And it's also a black person.

And it's important to students like Jeremy,

And it's the same bar?

And Jehovah Witness Bay. Thanks for adding that, man.

And join together to support a larger cause.

And just breathe.

And keep from getting kicked out of her place in...

And Leonard Rodriguez.

And let us be until it's settled.

And let's play the game.

And like the real Temple of Doom, it represents the inconvenient fact

And listen to the 39 messages they left tonight.

And mad sleepy.

And make an informed, democratic decision.

And maybe BNL has two Billboard Awards to your zero.

And maybe that's why you took my pen?

And merge into a shimmering ocean of knowledge,

And more importantly,

And my father will get drunk and make bad impression of Borat.

And my hands and my feet went numb,

And my heart is mad at my kidneys, and...

And my hope is that while you scrub it,

And my mom said, "Indian boys have long hair and braids too."

And my soul is darkening,

And nearly twice as many dollars.

And Neil fell again into darkness.

And neither does the teacher... Professor Professorson?

And never pick up on the fact that a man is hitting on you?

And no matter how hard you try,

And nobody can get any worse than this.

And nobody noticed and nobody cared.

And nothing is ever at stake.

And now he roams the halls of Greendale screaming for his pen

And now he roams the halls of Greendale screaming for his pen

And now I guess I am being clever.

And now I know that forever.

And now I'm in the zoo

And now I've gotta catch this flight... No, no, you can't go.

And now that your god has high cholesterol,

And now that your god has high cholesterol,

And now we must leave you.

And now we're regaining consciousness together.

And now with all this hype, I've got a real Snakes on a Plane brewing.

And on the seventh day, Shirley shut down production.

And once it's settled, I'm taking out everybody in this room.

And one morning,

And Pierce and Britta and anyone else who thinks I care about any of this.

And Planet Jolly.

And post Pierce quotes all day on Twitter.

And put on websites people check when buying a house.

And reality always wins.

And realize we are simply in a Winnebago and we'll be fine?

And say that the group is breaking up.

And say this is nuts?

And second...

And see if they improve things?

And see you next week.

And share the experience

And she works days, so make sure you call at night.

And shove it up its own ass? He's not being meta.

And since you probably don't have a cassette player,

And so it is bequeathed.

And so it was that Pierce Hawthorne saved the life of Fat Neil

And so it was that the group began to describe themselves walking.

And so much more than we ever wanted to know about him.

And so on and so on and so on, "etchethra"!

And so Troy and Abed went back to the dormitory

And so, by all known definitions of the word "boss,"

And some are just natural jumpers.

And some are just natural jumpers.

And some damn broccoli, please.

And some guy named Mark Ruffalo.

And something called Human Centi...

And spoon her for the appropriate amount of time.

And stop defining our gender by theirs.

And stored in an energon pod.

And take a class with just us.

And take you on a magic journey.

And technically I'm not allowed to drink it for another 45 seconds.

And tell you your mother is in it. Jeffrey.

And telling us a guy makes hats out of babies.

And tells them he weighs 400 pounds

And that burn was brought to you by the letter "s,"

And that is an actor's job.

And that is what **** do at weddings.

And that man knows his video virality.

And that time was before Scary Movie.

And that's a fact.

And that's all of it.

And that's how Paleolithic hunting tribes

And that's what you were trying to teach me.

And the Barenaked Ladies are triple platinum. Are you?

And the dangers of ingesting mercury. Ah!

And the head of our student government which doesn't exist.

And the idea that I was with you

And the last time I checked, you were the last one feeling sorry about it.

And the least you can do is not ruin it.

And the less he cared, the better he was.

And the movie is called, ABED.

And the only sharks in that water...

And the other one is awesome all night,

And the pelicans are covered in oil.

And the procedure for selling eggs takes weeks.

And the reason I know respect is a tool

And the scenes are the deleted scenes.

And the smell of pie can make you float.

And the thing that scares me about you

And the ultimate blow off class: Anthropology.

And the winner for Best Adapted Oscar Burn:

And then having them realize that dependence was the enemy.

And then I bailed on the party just to make you happy.

And then I got on a bus and went straight to the airport.

And then staked out my apartment every day until I wore it?

And then they called "cut" and the scene was over.

And then we start competing with each other, exploiting each other,

And then we're supposed to let go.

And then when all the pumpkins just start to rot

And then you guys were late, and then...

And then you tell me to smile for the folks at home.

And then, I made my nephew a rocking horse.

And there must be a reason that you are so good at this game.

And there will be nothing madcap or wacky about it.

And there's no such thing as a free Caesar salad. And even if there were...

And these are city impound lots,

And they pass through his system...

And things have turned into a bit of a race...

And think about what you learned today.

And thirdly,

And this afternoon in the cafeteria,

And this is a place of peace and balance.

And this is the most important Christmas in history.

And this semester I will guide you to the threshold of your humanity

And to me for being attractive enough

And told people not to have abortions, but it's cooler.

And torture the rest, I'll die sad and alone.

And turned that issue into a sound bite.

And we all have these notions that we're the exception,

And we both, you know, take them out.

And we can find them.

And we complete the simulation. Yeah, I got a better idea.

And we forget to use it all the time.

And we hatched a plan to teach you a lesson or two

And we just got to talking.

And we lose each other.

And we should've listened to Troy from the beginning.

And we turned you into a monster.

And we will still be bragging about our Foosball table.

And we'd both rather die than let someone else control us.

And we're back with Greendale's

And we're getting married.

And we're helping our friend find the meaning of Christmas.

And we're just spraying it clean.

And we're really not into R.C. anymore

And were too embarrassed to say, and we kill you.

And what do you see now, Abed?

And what kind of ice cream company does this?

And whatever medicated shampoo you're using

And when did they open a second location?

And when Jeff's fake interest resulted

And when that happens, I gotta be the best dad I can be.

And when we forget that, they win.

And when you play it, it makes you happy, like a dragon.

And who cares if I don't have any lines?

And who uses Wite Out anymore?

And why do you wanna be president?

And without each other, we'll go extinct.

And yes, this is a ladies' Uncle Sam outfit.

And you are listening to Wesley Snipes' audio book.

And you are tampering with a highly delicate book deal.

And you both come from moist wipe dynasties.

And you can never tell anyone, okay?

And you can tell him that yourself. Heh, heh.

And you deserve to be allowed to do it?

And you expect everybody to be better than who they are

And you expect yourself to be better than everyone.

And you guys are feeding into this poor boy's delusions.

And you guys don't know what that is.

And you know the reason that we raised more money

And you laugh at guys' unfunny jokes,

And you learned to fight your desire for me.

And you remembered to let fatty sit in my chair.

And you say you have no memory of this morning.

And you spent three days making cardboard robot armor.

And you think I'm lazy.

And you thought you were real cool?

And you threw it all away.

And you use respect to defend yourself.

And you weren't invited because we were voting about you.

And you're really giving it to some middle man

And your drugs.

And, come on, it's pretty obvious Rich is the best candidate.

And, honestly, once the shame and the fear wore off...

And, I don't know, promise to fill it up

And, I know it sounds gross, pig saliva.

And, in one move, slices the throats of three charging goblins.

And, more importantly, are they still made of clay?

And, seriously, keep a tight, heavy lid on the little Indian girl story.

And, yeah, I'll admit it, one time it was a gym bag full of nickels.

And, yeah, in that time, I've given a lot of speeches,

And, you know, I can start looking for a place in the morning.

And?

And?

And? I really like talking about Farscape.

And... Scene.

Andre, no.

Andre? Yeah?

Angela Bower.

Animals talk, your heart is shaped like a heart

Annie Edison?

Annie Edison.

Annie just texted me. She asked Rich out.

Annie sold out her message. You've been indulging this maniac?

Annie told me about the briefcase. Thank you.

Annie, baby showers can be race neutral.

Annie, call Andre and tell him to meet us here.

Annie, go back and keep lookout. Why me, lookout? Why not you guys?

Annie, I forgive you.

Annie, I know you're being strong for me,

Annie, I know your lack of world experience creates curiosity,

Annie, I think you're reading into some things.

Annie, I'd just like to say, on behalf of whoever actually stole this pen,

Annie, it's a pen.

Annie, it's because you're fragile and tightly wound.

Annie, just put the gun...

Annie, left on Apple.

Annie, nice.

Annie, put the gun down.

Annie, relax. I'm not a relaxed person, Britta.

Annie, relax. No, you relax, Jeff.

Annie, take it easy. You gotta learn to trust people.

Annie, that was great. Good job.

Annie, this is a really terrible neighborhood.

Annie, uh, I don't feel comfortable with the "zabadazooey" line.

Annie, when you laugh like that, you snort like a piglet.

Annie, you make quite the little nurse.

Annie, you're in the bar. You don't have to be from Texas anymore.

Annie!

Annie!

Annie?

Annie? Rich?

Annie.

Annie.

Annie.

Annie. Ooh!

Annie. Rich, from pottery class.

Annie... What have you done?

Annie's got a gun.

Annie's my friend. She goes to school here.

Annie's the one that plans things, not me.

Another Macallan, neat. Vodka, neat, four olives.

Another movie? A movie about a real conversation.

Another soda? Actually, give me a screwdriver.

Anthropology is the study of humanity, nothing is off topic.

Anthropology. Lehayim!

Any DA worth his salt could make a case for trafficking.

Any of which might be their destination.

Anybody?

Anyone can have a cellar. It's what's in it.

Anyone else with that hand would wear a glove.

Anyone object to us being referred to as doughnuts?

Anyone that's been in a team pop and Iock a thon

Anything helps. Just anything you can give would be really...

Anything suspicious. Because you think I'm suspicious?

Anything. Please?

Anyway, congrats.

Anyway, his tour is taking him in this neck of the woods

Apology accepted.

Apparently, Chang is in the group? It's true. God hates us.

Apparently, I need to say some things to my father.

Apparently, it means getting fondled by singing mental cases.

Apparently, they found him unconscious on a park bench.

April. Hah.

Are a lot of babies born in classrooms?

Are the emotional ghosts that I like to call fear.

Are the Thought Police gonna make love to us?

Are these blood diamonds?

Are they coming to the wedding? Oh, they would not miss it.

Are they Holocaust diamonds?

Are they seriously marketing them to black women?

Are those as comfortable as they look?

Are we bad people?

Are we going to the Puppy Parade? Feels like a bottle episode.

Are we really just gonna sit here?

Are we thinly veiling personal conflict and passing it off as a lesson?

Are you a zombie? I will mace you.

Are you Abed?

Are you allowed? Yeah, I quit doing blow, not being rad.

Are you crazy?

Are you doing to stab us with your bush scissors?

Are you familiar with the Amburg region of the Edylmann river basin?

Are you guys moonshiners now? No, just the two of them.

Are you guys picking a new study group member?

Are you ignoring me because I'm Korean?

Are you in here?

Are you jealous because we were fitting in with your cool friends?

Are you kidding me? I'll take whatever they got.

Are you okay? Are you okay?

Are you okay? Oh, I'm fine.

Are you on weed?

Are you proposing we join him? I'm proposing his ammo joins us.

Are you ready to be bequeathed upon, Jeff?

Are you saying Greendale is dirty?

Are you saying I'll be a good mom? Heh, heh, what? No.

Are you stalling right now? Stalling? Ha ha ha.

Are you stocking up for a bitch shortage?

Are you sure everyone should get A's?

Are you sure that my costume was on backwards?

Are you sure you didn't say I was a Christmas angel?

Are you sure you guys have the group's best interests at heart?

Are you sure you wanna do this?

Are you sure?

Are you sure? Yep.

Are you talking about the handsome blond cowboy with the big guns?

Are you uncomfortable, Britta?

Are you wearing my underwear?

Aren't Drugs bad? No way.

Aren't the only surprises today.

Aren't you listening?

Aren't you, like, the dad?

Arguments have been made, pops have been popped.

Arms.

Army's gonna be here in six hours.

Around the time you got caught.

As a Christian, I've learned to be sensitive to other cultures' jealousies.

As a filmmaker, no. I'm a storyteller, not a preacher.

As a matter of fact, Jeff, we were invited.

As ABC Dildos, Incorporated.

As an apology for questioning Pierce's faith.

As I was saying, on Monday,

As in snap!

As in the legal drinking age.

As much as I "made it up."

As much as I might enjoy that, if you don't get back in time for the launch,

As part of his Biden Time Talking About Teaching tour.

As parties go, it was quiet, dark and a little lame.

As safe as you are here, you'll be safer with us.

As we begin gearing up for next year's election,

As we head into the first round, there are eight candidates.

Asked every student pick up a puppy and hold it

Assange is a modern day Paine. Britta the Needlessly Defiant.

Assuming we don't wind up in a compactor,

Asterisk. Abed.

At Dildopolis, your privacy is our top concern.

At first, I said no

At least for me.

At least the paste smell has. But I have a date to catch.

At least we have the decency to keep it a secret.

At least worker bees can set aside their egos

At most, what you want, two drops of spring water.