Modern Family - Season 8 Edit

A America.

A Are you trying to say something?

A black family's moving in right across the street

A boy was born.

A budding interest in the promotional arts,

A club where people make good decisions.

A hair dryer. Thanks, buddy.

A lisp doesn't make you gay.

A little Ash Wednesday.

A little bit healthier and just a little farther.

A long time ago

A loser.

A lot of singles in there. What exactly do you do at this club?

A lot of things haunt me.

A mother knows how to read between the lines.

A sax scandal I'm running with that.

A shattering depiction of human suffering.

A sip of water to cleanse the palate.

A storm in the Midwest canceled our flight.

Aaaaaaah.

Aah aah! That's hot!

Aah! Oh, my God!

About a comatose arthritic woman pulling your hair.

About a family of Montenegrin art restorers

About how good it is here and just bring you some?

About relatives sponsoring new members, so...

Abrupt resignation as Student Council President?

Absolutely anything.

Actually rests on their play structure.

Actually, I probably I have three more.

Actually, we have.

Actually, we're going to speak together.

Admit it, it's over.

After a great week in New York,

After she left, I sat there thinking,

After you put your suitcase in her room.

After you.

Ah, right up front.

Ah, the vigor. It's almost pornographic.

Ah, yeah. I'm so sorry.

Ah.

Ah.

Ah.

Alcoholism.

Alex had to take the semester off.

Alex is never away from her laptop,

Alex is not my most expressive child,

Alex, are you sure you don't want

Alex, honey.

Alex, look at me.

Alex, maybe you'd feel better if we went for a walk

Alex, no. Stop! Stay!

Alex? I can't believe this!

Alex's allergies.

Alex's laptop had every piece of homework

Alex's mouth may have said, "You're embarrassing me."

All his crazy quirks.

All I had to do was let Phil be Phil.

All of a sudden, I knew how.

All right, all right, come on.

All right, carb up, buddy.

All right, everybody.

All right, girls.

All right, Luke, we need to talk.

All right, sit.

All right, you chatterboxes.

All right!

All right!

All right!

All right.

All right.

All right. Listen, you guys need anything, let me know.

All she did was talk about herself.

All the fun. You know snapping each other in the butts

All these people here, but they, um

All we're saying is be a little more Casual Friday,

All you had to do was say goodbye.

All you have to do is sit there and be quiet.

All... right. Can this just be done now?

Almost everybody.

Also known as your last year to not suck.

Also, can I take a pee?

Also, I signed us up for that book signing tonight.

Also, uh, you should know,

Also, uh, you should know,

Although it does give the house character.

Although, Adderall has helped a lot of kids.

Although, that could've been because I climbed in

Am I still do ing it?

Am I?

Amateur.

Among his brilliant innovations

An hour ago, I had made the perfect tub!

And and Lily has been really respectful of him.

And a daughter who I was forced to see naked

And a game of craps broke out in the kitchen.

And agreed to cover everything,

And before I even lived in it, I got married.

And Dad said, "I thought you liked men"?

And get fired, right?

And get my hands a little dirty, you know?

And Gloria adores you!

And Gloria can't do anything right!

And got a job as a barista.

And had my picture made with the Congressman.

And had the whole chop chop, bing bang thing,

And half of them are college applications.

And he has run successful political campaigns before

And he was as good as new.

And her instinct is to go all baby bigot on him?

And hit my shin really hard and started crying in front of everyone.

And I I was alone with her when it happened,

And I am sorry I put you in that position.

And I am the She E O of a large company.

And I don't feel good either.

And I got these.

And I got to say, it's like looking a mirror, Nancy.

And I knew when.

And I privately said to you,

And I saw David Blaine in jello,

And I want to leave you with this one last thing.

And I want you to calm down.

And I was in the Junior Tumbling Congress.

And I was viewed by my classmates

And I wasted it on a Popsicle.

And I will find someone else to look after the dog.

And I won't go back to a party.

And I'm going to fight for that

And I'm their local expert.

And I'm two people.

And I've been cleaning up in tips.

And I've been dying to tell you, but they wouldn't let me!

And I've had a tremendous amount of plastic surgery.

And if I can get Joe tired enough to go to sleep,

And if that requires living in a world

And if that's gone, who am I?

And if they do, you give us a percentage of your commission.

And if we do,

And insist on rotting their brains

And insist on rotting their brains

And it doesn't make us feel good.

And it's a lot easier to root for

And it's gonna

And it's gonna be weird around here without him,

And key chains for over a decade.

And leave enough after capital gains

And make sure everyone has what they need.

And Mitchell was telling her to let go, and she did!

And now I'm considering double majoring,

And now it's Joe's room, and that's fantastic.

And now Luke just salsas in

And now you're just like me.

And packed him in ice from the seafood bar,

And pain is your best friend..."

And put in all the other letters.

And say a quick hi to Merv,

And she actually expressed some interest.

And showed me, by example,

And start rocking sadly, all right?

And temperament.

And that dude, he invented an app

And that's fantastic.

And the credit card company.

And the Dolphins win, 21 20.

And the family thinks that I nudged it along.

And the line between performer and spectator is delightfully blurred?

And the neighbors didn't even come outside.

And the other one fell down the garbage disposal.

And the pass gets picked up!

And the... best buddy a guy could ever ask for.

And then eventually coming around.

And then I changed my mind, and I did her dream.

And then I have my study,

And then signed up for a lecture series

And then they found out I wasn't in the military.

And then when Cam thought

And then you wait for the confirmation.

And then... and then died in front of all of us.

And there's already a ton of people here,

And there's already a ton of people here,

And they vote a few people in.

And three, it just passed mold inspection.

And tries to take it away from him.

And wait for the surprise ending.

And we buried my hamster in the backyard.

And we could've made things easier for you.

And we promote clubs and stuff via social media.

And we'll make the exchange.

And we'll run Luke next year.

And what's in the ice bucket?

And when I woke up this morning, I thought you'd gone for a run.

And when the check came, you know what she didn't do?

And while people have found all sorts of ways

And worry about your own dog.

And you always rub it in,

And you didn't help your case

And you don't want to go to the party!

And you said you'd support any decision I made.

And you two don't even love me anymore!

And you will be a legend.

And you. Can't even be bothered to use a plate!

And you. How could you do this?

And you'd never leave me, would you, baby? Mm!

And, Haley...

And, Katen, did I see you drinking a water

And, Mitchell, make sure her tongue stays moist.

And, total stroke of luck, Merv's assistant

And, uh, apropos of nothing

Answered that question right.

Anxiously awaited his verdict.

Anybody would.

Anyhoo, there's a football player on the team

Anything for you, kid.

Anything you want.

Anyway, after the lightning strike,

Anyway, he would snore...

Anyway, I dated my makeup girl for a while,

Anyway, I gave him my number.

Anyway, I'm a biochemistry major and Caltech,

Anyway, tell her I'll have a couple more for her tomorrow.

Anyway, this is your club

Anyways, stop worrying about the remote control

Apparently, he's quite the player.

Apparently, they're not cool after you get them dirty.

Archimedes' exclamation.

Are bouquet, texture, and finish.

Are furious! Furious!

Are these cameras everywhere?

Are we not as open minded as we think?

Are we really doing this?

Are what we educators call suboptimal.

Are you really still doing this?

Are you saying that all this

Are you sure you're up for it?

Are you sure? I'm a little rusty.

Are you thinking of joining?

Are you thinking what I'm thinking?

Aren't always as open minded as we should be,

Aren't these your, uh your work friends?

Aren't you 400 bucks in the hole on that thing?

Arizona, I was looking at your selfies.

Aromatic cedar flakeboard game a changed.

Art school, huh? Well, you can always

As Carl's Auto Body toilet seat covers?

As long as this isn't that thing

As the day she was born.

As you know, uh, Dwight's father was recently restationed

As you remember, my business was started in my garage.

At least that's the story we're sticking to.

At The Red Room?

At the shopping mall where they're shopping.

Aww, thanks.

Aww, you guys are so sweet.

Aww!

Aww.

Aww. Love you both. Bye.

Aww. Says the murderer.

Ay, all I can say is, thank you again.

Ay, dios mio.

Ay, Jay, I was going to cook the sausage.

Ay, Jay, stop with the phone. You're missing everything.

Ay, no!

Ay, what the hell are you doing here?

Back at the house.

Back to you, Claire.

Bad enough... but then I noticed

Bad luck! Bad luck!!

Be good to have some guy time.

Be strong.

Beautiful African name Shawn M'badawe.

Because I can see your green light!

Because I housebroke her myself.

Because I'm a racist old man.

Because I'm a racist old man.

Because I'm his football coach, and his father trusts me.

Because in a place where violence is currency

Because Luke has a speech to work on?

Because of my gu

Because Papá loved me more?

Because that rube Tom knows nothing about art?

Because the rumors are true.

Because you were with me. They didn't know.

Because you're so good at making our money...

Before having Dwight move in.

Before he's taken to jail.

Before I forget?

Before it was cool to be gay.

Before our marching band takes the field

Being a mom is like being a model.

Being gay makes you lisp.

Besides, where are you gonna sleep tonight after this fight?

Best job I ever had.

Better.

Betty bought a bit 'a bootie,

Between us, he's getting a monkey chin in Laos.

Blot...

Boom! Just sent another grandkid to Brandeis.

Boop!

Both delicious, by the way.

Both my partners are in clubs.

Boy, girl, gay, straight...

Breaks my heart.

Bring a sweater.

Brought your black friend out, blasted Commodores.

Bubble letter me something about gringos.

Business class, huh?

But aren't opening nights so exciting?

But at least I'll always have my special girl.

But at least it's still only three more days.

But da bootie bittah.

But enough about how I felt.

But found the butter bitter.

But Haley's new job seems whack.

But he needs some professional help.

But her heart was saying, "You're inspiring me."

But I am the patriarch, and I have spoken.

But I didn't do it! I'm innocent!

But I didn't drink it all.

But I got some stuff going on, so...

But I have this place!

But I know this is my day,

But I really don't have a lot of real friends.

But I shouldn't treat you badly because Papá choose you.

But I was also kind of happy to have her home a little longer.

But I was gonna get him.

But I'm loving this!

But I'm not the only dad here.

But I'm not unproud of how I'm stealing.

But I've personally seen two of those guys

But if you march back in there and you own it,

But if you think a giant, slobbery dog

But is that taking on a little too much?

But is there a bird more majestic

But it didn't rain while we were all there.

But it made me realize this was my chance

But it's really important to me.

But Luke is, right?

But never tell the kids because we just made them go home?

But none of this makes any sense to me.

But now that you're awake, what happened in here, huh?

But now you're just spiraling.

But right now, I have to get to Chavez Ridge

But seeing how happy you make my grandson,

But so is the sheer act of putting pen to paper.

But that just guarantees that it sticks with you forever.

But that's our thing lording our tolerance over others.

But the bottom line Karen is

But the door swung open,

But there was a ton of traffic on...

But they'll think I made the call the minute I saw them

But this is a part of who you are.

But this is the only place I have left

But tonight, Manny's going to a party.

But unfortunately for our opponents,

But we arrived to find Cam's grandma on her deathbed.

But we just posted about this terrible house

But when she enrolled in a business class

But when the chance to be She E O arose,

But when you've been the bummer all day at work,

But where's Vlad?

But with smarty pants Alex home,

But would you ever want to grab a beer?

But you did just admit

But you don't have to, sweetie, okay?

But you more.

But you never think I'm going to lose!

But you two should get ready for dance class.

But you... you fit in everywhere

But your book got me thinking about a business career.

But, first, how about you take a nice, hot shower?

But, uh, then she had to leave town.

By accidentally erasing her "Matlocks."

By several terrorist organizations.

By the way, have you seen the price?

By the way, have you tried one of these cookies?

By watching vapid housewives spit wine on each other.

By watching vapid housewives spit wine on each other.

Call me!

Call the Sistine Chapel. I guess art is out.

Called "Meet the She E O,"

Cam wasn't wrong about this.

Cam, come on. She's 95 years old and plugged into a wall.

Cam, I swear to God

Cam, she refers to me as "the sissy."

Cam, she was protecting us.

Cam, we don't have the room.

Cam, why you always

Cam?

Cam. I was wrong about her.

Can he stay here? Okay, thank you so much.

Can I get our gifts out of the car?

Can I give you my daughter Haley's number?

Can I have some ketchup?

Can we just get this over with? I have a spray tan at 4:00.

Can you be a human being for one second?

Can you believe this young man has a grandkid in college?

Can you guys just give me a chance

Can't believe they think I killed Grams.

Can't you find another club?

Careful, buddy.

Carl just opened a third location because of that wizard.

Central Park dog rentals million dollar idea.

Cheating?

Chicken and apple, like some damn hippie.

Chip Fielder? No. That's all fake.

Claire asked me to send you a picture

Claire, I'm going out!

Claire, the sign says "No loud noises."

Closets, Closets, Closets, Closets.

Coach just told me to sit on the ground and look sad.

Coach, can I come in yet?

Come have some drinks with the committee,

Come here. Come here.

Come on in. Stay awhile.

Come on, Cam. Kiss me like the sissy I am!

Come on, how would we even pay for the hotel?

Come on. Let's go get a treat.

Come. We'll watch him from the cameras.

Compared to New Yorkers, I'm laid back.

Congressman Morley, enough with the taxes.

Contain it, ignore it.

Could be that, or it could be the last time you saw her,

Could become a regular thing.

Could you reset the router for me?

Couldn't you just say goodbye?!

Creating a very incriminating stain.

Creepy even by your standards

Dad said fine. I walked in the woods, met a hobo.

Dad, come on.

Dad, run to him.

Dad, you have no idea who has money anymore.

Dad, you understand what I'm doing, right?

Dad. Who are you talking to?

Daddy and I would accept you no matter what

Damn it, Mom! Write it down next time!

Damn it!

Dane Edna, say hi to your foster daddies

Decked out in their finest flip flops.

Definitely by Father's Day.

Depends on constant consumption?

Did I use her laptop to get through community college?

Did nobody notice I was gone for 18 hours?

Did that reporter Oh!

Did you all practice by kissing the same pillow?

Did you all practice by kissing the same pillow?

Did you finish your history report?

Did you get in trouble again for adjusting the lighting?

Did you hear that? "Bweakfast."

Did you hear? She started dating my brother!

Did you just listen to an NPR story

Didn't know you could be allergic to carriage leather.

Disappear.

Do meet your heroes.

Do not change who you are or you will lo o ose

Do we really have to leave?

Do what? Actually, I'm I'm taking it

Do you have anything to say?

Do you have the keys to these?

Do you mind the middle seat?

Do you need to lie down?

Do you want marmalade on your brioche toast?

Do you want to play with us?

Doesn't it?

Don't be silly. I got this.

Don't blame me about breaking the other ones.

Don't blow it by acting weird.

Don't feel like you can't be honest with us

Don't forget to sign the guest book.

Don't forget to take your medicine.

Don't listen to him.

Don't love that you know that.

Don't love that.

Don't worry. He's going to be fine.

Don't you cat sit for your boss on Tuesday nights?

Double click!

During Lily's playdate with Tom,

Dwight and I are going shopping.

Dwight Bullock.

Dwight is going to be staying with us!

Dwight, I am very disappointed in you.

Dwight, that's the way you read the reverse.

Dwight, you're staying. What What's going on?

Embrace it.

Eureka.

Even have a chance to ride your mini bike.

Even though Daddy and I

Even though you're stubborn and pigheaded.

Even took a trip to Washington, D.C.,

Even you.

Even your closest compadre could turn on you.

Ever been in here, Jay?

Ever since his father

Ever thrown around in the South.

Every bounce counts!

Every car alarm, every whistle of the wind

Every day was a battle for your s

Every time we leave the house, it's like a game of Three card Monte.

Every time we leave the house, it's like a game of Three card Monte.

Everybody get some water.

Everybody, get your things.

Everything you're doing for me.

Exactly.

Excuse me, Mr. Pritchett.

Excuse me. Can I have everyone's attention, please?

Fake as Tricia Tazaki's shelter dogs!

Family time.

Fantastic. Great.

Feel free to ask any... questions.

Find anything on "Grab It" lady?

Finding pieces that work together, so...

Fine, then act angry, like you're sick of

Fine!

Fine.

Fine.

Fine. I won't do it again. Can I go now?

Fine. You take this one. My plate's full.

First of all, Stella's not peeing in the corner,

First time I saw Tarzan, I wanted to live outside.

First up is Manny Delgado.

Five, four, three...

Flashbacks, nightmares, anxiety

Follow me, folks.

For Father's Day this weekend.

For God's sake, there's the club chair Fatty Arbuckle

For her father to make it.

For heroically taking in Dwight,

For Lily's project.

For my sweet 19 year old cousin Marisol's third wedding.

For some of us, that was the last best time.

For Student Council President.

For Student Council President.

For Student Council President.

For taking too many bubble baths.

For the new members thing tonight.

For today's class.

For trashing your friends called App Smear.

For underage drinking.

For your information, there is a wind advisory tonight.

Fortunately, clueless boobs are one group

Fortunately, clueless boobs are one group

Fred fed Ted bread.

From artsy little snots.

From now on, we're getting our weather from Tricia Tazaki!

From this one here.

From whatever happened back that party.

Fun fact Some stranger, probably a long time ago,

G Lily.

Gee, I'd like to, but they got rules

Gee, they must have changed that.

Gentlemen, circle up!

Get dressed. We're going out for walk around breakfast pizza.

Get hurt? How?

Get out of here, you weirdo!

Get upstairs and pack, or else you might miss your flight.

Get you some! Get it!

Get your hands a little dirty, huh?

Get...

Gloria invited us to sit by the pool

Gloria, Gloria, Gloria.

Gloria, we can't sit around doing nothing. Call Sonia.

Gloria!

Go ahead. It's perfectly safe.

Go down that hallway, push through the big double doors.

Go inside. Wait.

Go on, with that, Phil.

Go splash some water on your face.

Go to your art school, be a playwright.

Go, go, go!

Go.

Go.

Goal!

God, I'm so tired.

God, no. I've been up all night. I got to get to bed.

God, you and Dad are mean.

Good game! Good game.

Good girl.

Good girl.

Good morn ing.

Good morning, everyone.

Good night.

Good night.

Good one, Coach.

Good! Then she owes us 400 bucks.

Good.

Got my book right here.

Got to run outside and paint the mailbox.

Got ya!

Got you a present.

Grab it.

Grams left us all something in her will

Grams would hate all these people on her property.

Grams, l let go.

Grams. Ow, that hurts. Let let go.

Grandpa got me a job at his country club,

Grandpa is coming for you,

Great, Jay. Now she kidnapped Manny.

Great.

Great. What kind of business?

Growing up in Missouri, I was so mistreated

Growing up on the passenger seat of a cab.

Guess what.

Guys, we have a party going on. Let's take it over here.

Ha! Old gutter flute.

Had drifted out to the common areas.

Had the best time in high school.

Haley, go with him.

Haley, thank God.

Haley's car payment is late.

Hang on I'm trying to lock up some sausages

Happy Father's Day to me.

Happy Father's Day!

Have a good one.

Have Dwight live with us, but unfortunately

Have you even taken your turn sitting with Gram?

Haven't heard about "Hamilton."

He also undresses as a cop for work.

He brought such a great energy to the house.

He called me today.

He called you guys weirdos for putting that painting up,

He called.

He can sleep in the apartment upstairs?

He can sleep in the den.

He contributed.

He could be on a date.

He dropped some serious cash at dinner,

He eats everything, he's always in the bathroom,

He even put my face on a pillow.

He got Mitchell elected class president

He has to be ready in case

He hasn't responded.

He said you gave it to him.

He shoots, he scores!

He sounded like a scared ghost.

He wants a fight, he's got one.

He was driving me crazy with his googly eyes.

He was picking up on us not liking him,

He'd love this.

He'd never get past the vote.

He's a good guy.

He's a good kid.

He's a great guy.

He's a weatherman in southern California.

He's being restationed to Florida.

He's coming this way. Just...

He's doing his part for our country,

He's gonna be with us all season,

He's gonna help me pick out some cool new kicks.

He's making him move out.

He's probably just having dinner.

He's taking over because we screwed up

He's the recipient of back to back Golden Showers.

He's trying to get a Communist girl to kiss him.

Hello again, students.

Hello, we're here.

Her being super sick is coming at a really bad time for me.

Her dad's loaded.

Her lipsticks!

Her tummy can get a little fussy,

Here are her medicines.

Here we are.

Here we go. Let's go.

Here you go. Oh! C call me three times.

Here.

Here. I brought by some more liquor bottles

Here. Try on this hair net.

Here's some spray paint

Hey, Alex, honey, could you help me reset the router?!

Hey, Arizona! Quack quack.

Hey, baby brother!

Hey, buddy, I should get going.

Hey, buddy, they canceled my showing,

Hey, can you guys not use, like, the blender

Hey, come over here for just minute, buddy.

Hey, Dad.

Hey, Grams.

Hey, guys. What are you doing in my room?

Hey, have you tried one of these Mexican cookies?

Hey, he mentioned this hair spray

Hey, hey, hey! Cramps.

Hey, honey. What are you doing here?

Hey, I don't mind.

Hey, I have an idea.

Hey, it's better than what Mom's doing.

Hey, Jay, do you need to julienne any vegetables?

Hey, Jay.

Hey, let me know if you want to roll around under the bleachers again, doll.

Hey, Lily. Can you hang back a second?

Hey, Lily. We need to talk.

Hey, losers.

Hey, Luke,

Hey, maybe put a little thought into it.

Hey, Mom! Have a good day at work.

Hey, pretend like you're climbing over the wall,

Hey, Pritch, isn't that your gay son?

Hey, so a few things

Hey, there's Jay. Maybe he can...

Hey, um, I wish you'd be a little more mindful

Hey, we need a new president. Why don't I just do that?

Hey, write that pizza pie thing down while it's fresh.

Hey, you can tell us anything.

Hey, you're staying in car?

Hey!

Hey!

Hey!

Hey!

Hey!

Hey! I got to be me.

Hey! I got to be me.

Hey.

Hey.

Hey.

Hey. An ice bucket.

Hey. Did you just lock the door?

Hey. Now all we have to do is stick the landing.

Hey. What's all the

Hi, Daddy.

Hi, honey. Is your brother around? I need to yell at him.

Hi, I'm Alex.

Hi, Mama! Hi, Mama! Hi, Mama!

Hi, Mom.

Hi, sweetie.

Hi.

Hi.

Hi. Hi.

Hi. We're back.

Hi. Where are Cam and Lily?

High school kids love that!

His name was Whiskers.

Hit pedestrians and not even slow down!

Hm.

Hmm.

Hmm.

Hola, Jay.

Hola, Luke!

Hola!

Hold on.

Hold on.

Hold on.

Hold out your wrists.

Honey, I'm so sorry about the way I was tonight.

Honey, will you send my dad a picture of that closet

Honey, you could do this for a living.

Honey, you're getting upset again.

Honey, you're not making sense again.

Hop out. I want to start shooting.

Hopefully she's too sleepy to notice that she got

Hot tub that way.

How about I ask the questions.

How about instead of another class, you get a job?

How about phone cases?

How are you just waking up?

How bad you all are at Father's Day.

How dare you take my business model.

How dare you take my son.

How did I spend my summer vacation?

How did you even

How do nerds even get mono?

How do you ask a human not to go, again?

How do you do that?

How he courageously showed up to our 25th

How long do we have this thing for?

How long were you working on that one?

How to make those dreams come true.

How we were so worried that an extra person

How would I Ugh.

How would you be with that?

How you feeling?

How'd he get your number?

How's How's the coma?

How's that?

However, certain people want to change us

I I think mono turned my mind to mush.

I She doesn't

I ugh Why can't I see it?!

I actually got to go backstage and meet Nancy.

I actually have some exercises that can help you.

I agree. It's not funny. Bye bye.

I already have confusing feelings for one relative.

I also like the way those guys talk.

I always keep an open mind.

I am a well read college graduate.

I am happy that you have a new friend.

I am not crazy!

I am so sorry.

I am sorry. It's just sometimes I feel

I appreciate you guys honoring me on this great holiday.

I believe that that is his point.

I bet he's busy.

I bet he's busy.

I came here to apologize.

I can finally relax and take a long, nice bath.

I can't be Vlad because I am the surprise ending.

I can't believe I let you kiss me in front of the Lakers.

I can't believe it.

I can't believe it. He's right!

I can't figure out this crossword puzzle.

I can't fit into that anymore,

I can't let you give all this up.

I can't remember who it was.

I can't send this to Juilliard. It's all lies.

I can't tell you how much I appreciate

I can't think of a single reason why not.

I caught the end of that.

I could understand shutters and blinds or closets and...

I couldn't wait. Grams left you a watch.

I cry almost every day.

I decided it was fine if they played fetch in the house.

I did my residency in New Hampshire.

I didn't hear anything. What's wrong with this cart?

I didn't know how, I didn't know when,

I didn't yell at Tom because he used to be Tina.

I do like bossing people around.

I do!

I don't care about the surprise ending!

I don't care how sick I am. I have to go back to college.

I don't get how that's magic.

I don't get it.

I don't have a mini bike.

I don't know how that bottle got under the bed!

I don't know what I was worried about.

I don't know what that is and never will.

I don't know what this is, but I love it.

I don't know.

I don't know.

I don't know.

I don't know. I caught her going through

I don't like how happy you look right now.

I don't like to play this card,

I don't like you right now.

I don't love the 25 year age difference.

I don't mean to bug you.

I don't need a job. I have one.

I don't totally get the hand thing, but I like it.

I don't understand anything that's happening here.

I don't want to be critical.

I don't want to be that guy, but did you send that text yet?

I even have a wine glass that floats.

I feel like an idiot.

I feel like you're doing this on purpose.

I feel terrible that I've been making you guys feel this way.

I feel the same way when I watch "Empire."

I feel worse. I really, really knew what I was doing.

I figured you were in your office.

I forgot.

I found in the creek.

I found them.

I give him an hour or I'm pulling the offer.

I got a job at Grandpa's country club.

I got banished.

I got fired.

I got over my breakup with Andy.

I got to admit, I'm really impressed that you got

I got to get this kid out of the house.

I got to go meet some friends.

I guess I do always come around, huh?

I guess it looks weird with us parked right here

I guess that would've been my window to eat something.

I guess they don't always land on their feet.

I guess they think that they're giving the parents too much power.

I guess what this proves is,

I guess.

I had a traumatic experience after an open house.

I had only one thought

I had the most humiliating experience of my entire life.

I had the perm for, like, two years.

I had to be more careful, or she was going to figure it out.

I had to bring him back.

I had to get to Raleigh for the Carolina Closet Caucus.

I had to wake up early in the morning.

I hate that I can't share this with him.

I hate the painting, too.

I hate the painting, too.

I have a calligraphy tutor.

I have a likability issue.

I have been perusing your transcript.

I have forgotten how I used to talk.

I have never beaten her.

I have some luggage in the car. Come help me.

I have thought about it.

I have to arrest you.

I have to be the best looking guy here.

I have to be the best looking guy here.

I have to drop this at the gift table.

I have, like, three D's.

I haven't been good about seeing people since Reynetta left.

I haven't had one night to myself in six months,

I haven't seen him.

I haven't seen you since high school!

I hear you the stories you two tell about

I heard a rumor that you're running

I hope it don't make you homesick."

I hope you don't mind.

I I didn't ask you about this,

I I wear this sweater with these trousers a lot.

I just canceled the night.

I just did the herringbone or the tweed for your vest.

I just feel bad that he's missing out.

I just hope that big pile of wet towels isn't on the floor

I just keep remembering how Vlad and I

I just need a minute to process this.

I just need five hours.

I just need to reorder some promotional Frisbees,

I just need you to do everything I tell you.

I just need you to sit down, grab your knees,

I just thought, why not get out there

I just walked in,

I just want a wine bath and to go to sleep.

I just want her to lose so bad.

I just want to Netflix and Mom.

I just want to say

I just want what's best for you.

I just want you to know

I keep leaving brochures around for schools at sea.

I knew he'd fold.

I know it's killing me.

I know I wouldn't want any part of that nonsense.

I know it's just community theater,

I know, I got it.

I like him.

I like stealing.

I like this place.

I live simply now, and it's good for me.

I look straight into the camera and say,

I love chicken pot pie.

I love my sexy little closet nerd.

I love the den. I watch TV in the den.

I love this story. It's like a western.

I made the appointment weeks ago

I may never leave this house again.

I mean, every relationship has its issues,

I mean, I built my house,

I mean, I love him, but

I mean, I want to be hip,

I mean, like, I I got a million of them.

I mean, look at my life.

I mean, sure, it was tough...

I mean, there'd there'd be a lot of things

I mean, we had an incident this afternoon

I miss you.

I need a "T," an "L," and a "W."

I need to wash my hands. Where's the restroom?

I need you to take the

I never thought I'd see those again.

I plead the second.

I put a group of girls together,

I quake with rage.

I ran to the bathroom and started drying it with a towel,

I really like her, but if dating her is gonna be a problem...

I really think she's here to apologize.

I remember when you were a little girl.

I said, "By the way."

I said, "Maybe I'll go to America and sell the sauce.

I saw Manny take shampoos from the hotel.

I see a bracelet, "Luke is no fluke."

I see a pin, "I like Luke."

I see a stadium cushion, "Luke has your back... side."

I see Gloria's avoiding me.

I see that my sister has been here.

I selected based on your individual personality

I set my alarm for noon. I must have slept through it.

I should go out in the world and do something.

I should have consulted you first.

I should probably finish packing up the breakfast

I should quit my job and nurse her back to health.

I shouldn't. Linda says being late is wiggity wack.

I spend hours trying, and then you just come one...

I spilled my drink on my crotch area,

I steal now.

I suffered an unfortunate series of embarrassing incidents.

I swear I didn't know they were gonna pick you.

I texted Rainer, like, three hours ago.

I think Daddy's ramping up to something.

I think I found the emergency button.

I think I took a stab at finishing your video essay.

I think I'm capable of doing a crossword puzzle.

I think I'm just hyperventilating.

I think I'm maturing.

I think might duck out early. You know...

I think someone's calling for you.

I think they're going to be blown away.

I think you'd have a different attitude about this

I think.

I thought I already packed my laptop.

I thought I could finally beat her because she's sick.

I thought I'd never get used to you.

I thought I'd review the day,

I thought it was about a makeup job.

I told Dad I was making us breakfast.

I told her how well your hot sauce business was going.

I told them we were in West Virginia.

I tried to find happiness in the bottom of a bottle.

I twisted my ankle playing running charades,

I understand why you took your family's side.

I usually let the person who hired me find it in my pants.

I want everybody to understand every single thing he says.

I want to give you something that is very precious to me.

I want to live outside.

I want to tell you everything is okay so you won't worry,

I was actually just heading out.

I was confused, and I said a bunch of stuff

I was disappointed 'cause she was disappointed,

I was flirting with Ava Morris, and I walked into a coffee table

I was in Tumbling Congress.

I was petty and vindictive,

I was raised to hate your kind.

I was working late promoting a new club.

I went through it with my parents back on the farm,

I went to bed really early last night,

I will drive you, sweetie.

I will have you know that Luke wrote his own speech.

I will. He is.

I win you lose.

I win, you lose!

I win, you lose! I win! You lose! I win! You lose!

I wish Dad was here.

I won.

I would kill for those days.

I would like that because I I don't quite understand

I would nip that back talk in the bud.

I would, but I took a late lunch from work,

I... couldn't help but come to care for you."

I'd love to catch up with that dreamboat.

I'd say they were being polite,

I'll be ready for them in 10.

I'll handle it.

I'll never come up with something great by then.

I'll pack paper towels and a squeegee.

I'll say.

I'll see if I can squeeze you into my 10 day outlook.

I'll speak with Gloria later.

I'll tell Dwight that he has to move out after the game tonight.

I'll tell you what else we're glossing over

I'll tell you what happened here

I'll try to catch him in between bites.

I'm I'm just saying maybe when she gets back from there,

I'm a winner!!

I'm actually starting to see your side of this.

I'm ahead by 50 points, and you have two tiles left.

I'm alive!

I'm already hating this.

I'm also the step son of a businessman

I'm back in there.

I'm beautiful.

I'm bringing to the girls

I'm coming to you from West Virginia.

I'm confused. You want me to see that?

I'm doing a little real estate segment.

I'm doing it.

I'm going live in a second. You're in my shot.

I'm going to hit my step nephew

I'm gonna come back.

I'm gonna do what I should have done at the beginning

I'm gonna drive alongside and film you.

I'm gonna get you one of those rubber remotes

I'm gonna reverse what I said.

I'm gonna say this as gently as I know how...

I'm gonna take a coffee

I'm gonna take a quick tub.

I'm graduating.

I'm here to arrest Dwight Bullock

I'm just so tired and in pain and irritable.

I'm kidding.

I'm mad about that, but it feels good to be held.

I'm not comfortable other places, okay?

I'm not doing this dance with you guys again.

I'm not going anywhere!

I'm not proud of stealing,

I'm not proud of stealing,

I'm not ready to go back and face life.

I'm not sure "copied" is the word.

I'm not sure what you're doing, because you're being so subtle,

I'm on "Team Gets It."

I'm on my tramp like three nights a week!

I'm opening with a joke about how Principal Brown's kids

I'm putting security cameras in the same day they move in.

I'm really okay with you dating Rainer.

I'm running for president, Mom. I'll wear a suit and tie.

I'm signing up for some business classes at community college.

I'm so glad you called.

I'm so glad you like the house!

I'm so sorry for your loss.

I'm sorry I didn't realize the vigil

I'm sorry to involve you in this feud.

I'm sorry, but who made Father's Day

I'm sorry, Cam. It's not gonna happen.

I'm sorry, Phil.

I'm sorry!

I'm sorry... I never played the flute or anything...

I'm still reeling from the last time you were on the news.

I'm stuck. I think there's a wet towel wedged underneath the door.

I'm sure he's just playing hard to get.

I'm talking about... my guns.

I'm texting the front desk.

I'm the child of an immigrant single mother,

I'm the one who fell off that ride.

I'm tired of this game.

I'm... I'm dropping out.

I've already pre registered.

I've always defined myself by my intelligence,

I've been looking for this since yesterday.

I've been practicing on people since Luke was 3.

I've been rehearsing for weeks.

I've devoted my entire life to public service,

I've got a meeting at school today

I've got a... just a quick comment.

I've got one son who's a kleptomaniac,

I've got these new state of the art cameras.

I've got this, Mom. I'm running on a gun platform.

I've got to take you downtown.

I've had to wake up a half hour earlier to use the bathroom

I've heard enough, and I've made my decision.

I've lived a long life.

Icing on the cake I just found out

If Haley wants to work in promotion,

If I was the one constantly making unilateral decisions.

If it was something important to you, I would support it.

If it'll help.

If not, he's gonna starve to death.

If that's what you just said.

If those walls could talk.

If you can think it, you can grab it.

If you really think it'll help.

If you want this, you got to out Manny Manny.

If you want to shave off her eyebrows, I'm cool with that.

If you're hungry, I hid some cookies behind the toaster.

If, someday, Lily wanted to be Lou

Important thing is...

In a world divided into the haves and have nots,

In case I fall asleep, nothing bad can happen.

In case we want to say this is Mexico.

In college, they called my "The Raccoon."

In fact, I'm gonna go take down my chimes.

In spite of your thoughtlessness and insensitivity.

In the '50s.

In the individual shower partitions were cigar holders.

In the meantime, you can have some fruit.

In the workplace

Indeed, I am.

Input!

Input! I know you can hear me

Input.

Interferes with your grades, you're done.

Into being something each of us is not.

Is a product of these two very different worlds.

Is about some weird competition over your father?

Is everything okay?

Is happy to be here.

Is it the admissions committee slitting their wrists?

Is it warm out? I hadn't noticed.

Is Mowgli that dirty kid at his preschool

Is that a phone in your pocket?

Is that good?

Is that Manny licking cupcake wrappers from the trash?

Is that one of the gems that you wrote into Luke's speech?

Is there anything he's, uh, passionate about?

Is this blood sausage? Because mine's pink.

Is this how we find out you're transitioning?

Is this how you want to spend them?!

Is very, very sick.

Is what this household needs, then color me gung ho.

Is... is this one of those interactive theater experiences?

Isn't it "zag"?

Isn't this a little over the top?

Isn't your backyard nicer?

It did hit me, right around the mid section.

It didn't make any sense.

It is a pleasure. You know, I think

It isn't fair!

It just makes me so mad at everyone.

It just popped into my head

It makes my heart go fast.

It must have been hard for a little girl.

It only rained in New York yesterday.

It really just seemed like she wanted an audience.

It sounds like you're taking their side.

It still haunts me.

It takes so much time and then you wouldn't

It tends to get a little chilly in that neck of the woods.

It was a nightmare.

It was actually illegal to run for mayor without a mustache

It was hard at first, but I've learned to accept it...

It was hard for us to hear, but in the spirit of tolerance,

It was our honeymoon.

It was pretty clear to me what she was trying to say...

It was so beautiful.

It was so honest and sensitive...

It was so sweet that Jay cried a little bit.

It was the Holy Grail...

It was the lowest voter turnout in school history.

It was the night of the prom.

It would have been rude not to.

It's It's a team sport,

It's "cacao."

It's "cacao."

It's a good thing that we're taking him to speech therapy.

It's actually 20... 2

It's all in your imagination.

It's amazing how one kid can carry a whole team.

It's fine.

It's given him a whole new sense of purpose.

It's going to be so exciting

It's great that you're letting Dwight live with you.

It's ice [bleep]ers.

It's interactive?

It's just a coping mechanism. It's gonna pass.

It's just a game.

It's just past that cold air system.

It's just weird. We had such a great time last night.

It's like one of those videos where the pit bull

It's more of an homage.

It's not coffee the laborers need, Jay. It's dignity.

It's not fair.

It's not my first time

It's okay, everybody!

It's okay, Gloria. All handled.

It's okay, honey. You're gonna sell that murder house.

It's okay, Papi. Maybe the people in New York

It's okay.

It's okay.

It's really been Oh.

It's really great they're having you back on the news.

It's smug and privileged and precious.

It's something that I should have given you

It's the worst thing that can happen to human during peace time.

It's tough out here, so I've had to be tougher.

It's tough out here, so I've had to be tougher.

It's, just, s so nice to meet you.

Jacuzzi tub in his bathroom.

Janitor Joe!

Jay, I mean it.

Jay, I was thinking about what you said before.

Jay, I'm trying not to panic.

Jay, Jay, Jay!

Jay, tell him he can't.

Jay, wait up!

Jay, what are you doing? Come to bed.

Jay. Jay!

Joe has a fever, and he he's sweating very much.

Joe, you're not going to live outside!

Joe's doctor gave me some sp heech exer cises

Judging me for my cameras.

Just a little color to make my eyes pop

Just act normal. I was born normal.

Just ask yourself, "What would Patti LuPone eat?"

Just call me once. Tonight if you're around.

Just do it!

Just go up there, hug Tammy,

Just got to dot the I's and cross the T's...

Just in that one area.

Just like all my ideas.

Just pick one and go.

Just seems like you're hanging out at clubs

Just take the tea.

Just the four of us.

Just to keep her from figuring out I got fired?

Just to protect our feelings.

Just wanted to see my favorite grandson.

Kid, you got to know your audience.

Kind of slow because she's your daughter.

La Diabla.

Last night, we also watch "An Officer and a Gentleman."

Le I would just hate to think

Legend has it that the holes

Leslie Kwan Collins from The Daily Dolphin.

Leslie Kwan Collins, Daily Dolphin.

Let go, Grams. Let go, Grams!

Let it go, babe. Come on. Come on.

Let me ask you guys something.

Let me help you with those.

Let's get this party started, huh?

Let's get you back there. It's Friday night.

Let's hear from our two candidates

Let's just get to the airport, and we will find a flight.

Let's not insult us both. How much do you need?

Let's see. What do we got in here?

Let's think of something we can all do together, okay?

Let's wait for him in the lobby. I need coffee anyway.

Life's more fun when you put stuff in football terms.

Like like walking her down the aisle in her wedding dress.

Like Betty bought a bit of butter,

Like I'd really be telling her to let go of life.

Like it was this morning.

Like it's fourth and goal on the one yard line.

Like my accent gets a little

Like Richard Gere taking Julia Roberts to the store.

Like your boyfriend, David Blaine,

Like... yours are now.

Lily, honey, what're you doing?

Lily, honey!

Lily, if you're still watching, go to bed.

Lily, is there anything you'd like to say to Dwight

Lily's reciting scripture.

Listen up, Manny.

Listen, Haley's old enough to make her own decisions.

Listen, if you want the hot sauce business,

Listen, it's such a nice day. Let's go outside.

Listen, Phil, I can't do this.

Listening to the Commodores with my windows down,

Little pink bundle of joy and said,

Lobster Thermidor from the country club.

Long time reader, first time grabber.

Look at us eating like rich people...

Look like the mailman.

Look up.

Look what I found under Dwight's bed.

Look what she did.

Look, I don't get it either, but for some reason...

Look, I I love those people, too,

Look, I just want you to know

Look, I know you don't think what I'm doing is real,

Look, it was wrong of you to be mean to Tom, okay?

Look, maybe you should go.

Look, Phil, I I want to figure this out,

Look, this means a lot to Luke, too.

Look, we'll all come back. I love it here, too.

Look, you're a great kid.

Lord o' mercy.

Lose, lose, lose, lose, lose!

Luckily, we have a friend of a friend

Lucky!

Luke and I are here because we each want your votes.

Luke and I just split a Beef Wellington and clams casino.

Luke and I messed with the tiles.

Luke decided to run against me

Luke fell asleep in class again.

Luke, this is a lot of work.

Luke! Game down!

Luke! No!

Luke's guidance counselor

Luke's running for President?

Made fun of what?

Magic isn't about secrets and tricking people.

Magic.

Maintenance arrived one minute later

Make sure he gets all that stuff off his face.

Makes me wonder if that's the whole reason she's with me.

Makes sense. That could charm the pants off

Making a point.

Mama's crazy.

Manny has been working all his life to be president,

Manny will be president this term,

Manny, come dance with me.

Manny, maybe you could help out here.

Manny, you don't understand.

Manny! Check this out.

Manny's here.

Margaret, you knew I was in here.

Martha Stewart said she used the prison time

May help me kick this sickness a little faster.

Maybe if you ever leave her outside,

Maybe it'll be cool.

Maybe it's time to, you know...

Maybe there's a party you can listen to.

Maybe we don't order the pizza.

Maybe we get enough crazy bread for everybody.

Me babysitting you every minute of the day?

Me dealing with animals who don't care

Me dealing with animals who don't care

Me either not very sexy.

Me? Why are you dressed like Nicki Minaj?

Merv collects cars.

Merv, meet my daughter Haley.

Might it also help my chance of kissing her one day? Yes.

Might not want to fall asleep

Mine smells spicy.

Mitchell called me an old, straight, white bigot.

Mitchell had a lisp we let slide.

Mitchell, do you remember back before we had her

Mitchell, this is the theater. Have some respect.

Mitchell, we're at a high school reunion!

Mitchell.

Mitchell.

Mitchell.

Mm hmm, in fact, I... I remember his death

Mm hmm.

Mm hmm.

Mm hmm. And select all, delete.

Mm, I'm going to miss this beautiful diva.

Mm! It's all about lifestyle.

Mm. What a beautiful reception.

Mmm!

Mmm.

Mo o o o ther nature.

Mom paid my car insurance this month, and I told her I'd have it today...

Mom thinks we're shopping.

Mom, I knew you would be like this.

Mom, I'm really scare

Mom, it's all I've ever wanted

Mom. Mom.

Mom's upset because Joe won't go to sleep

Monday lunch, Monday dinner.

Mostly.

Move your country ass. I'm... I'm leaving.

Moving into a white neighborhood.

Mowgli lives outside.

Mrs. Marks is going through a terrible divorce.

Must we do this dance every single time?

Mwah!

My Asian granddaughter takes a hip hop class?

My eyes are but lifeless orbs compared to

My garbage, and she said she needed liquor bottles.

My God.

My holiday!

My imprisonment in the closet

My insurance company helped me to find a therapy dog

My late aunt gave that hot sauce recipe to both of us.

My makeup.

My mom and Jay said it made me more relatable.

My mom forced me to wear this so I'd be more like you.

My money's on you. Go big, then go home.

My name is Manny Delgado,

My name's Phil Dunphy.

My own wife has major daddy issues.

My parents will be worried sick.

My plan was to hide it from my parents until I got a new job,

My seat is cold, and the flowers wilted.

My sister, my problem.

My sources say that he was caught selling

My star player Dwight has been living with us

My wind erful forecast right after this.

Nah. It's all pool and chairs.

Never got to get on one of those horse drawn carriages

Never had any children, of course.

Nice pep talk. Oh, and thanks for underestimating me.

Nice shooting the breeze with you, Phil.

Nice shot, Tom.

Nice to meet you.

No art school's gonna want that.

No deal.

No dessert.

No eggs for me. I'll be having porridge.

No more school.

No more than usual.

No one misses two weeks at Caltech and catches up.

No one needs to know about that.

No way! I earned that.

No, but what what about all the science stuff?

No, he's not.

No, I can't go back there.

No, I couldn't.

No, I know you and Mitchell aren't just roommates.

No, I'm about to die right now.

No, I'm not.

No, it isn't.

No, it'll be over by then. It starts at 7:00.

No, it's just a kidnapping. It's normal in my family.

No, it's my fault. I I kept the lie going.

No, no, but you know Tom,

No, no, I'm getting a new driver's license photo.

No, no, no. I'm glad you're up here.

No, no, wait. There's more. There's more.

No, no! Okay!

No, no! We put some performance supplements in there

No, no.

No, no. Your jealousy is all I need.

No, not not the... No. I I...

No, Señor, we're not having that argument anymore.

No, she doesn't want me there. She hates me.

No, the award winning meteorologist.

No, they don't. I just did it.

No, true story! True story.

No, you came from so far away.

No, you don't, Taffy!

No, you got to be less you.

No!

No! Jay!

No! You're on the wrong track here.

No.

No.

No. But that's how you lie.

No. He can't stay here.

No. I sold a house.

No. It's that dirty kid that runs around The Jungle Book.

No. Listen. We accept people for who they are.

No. No, no, no.

No. Sit down, please.

No. We need the rent to pay the mortgage.

None taken.

Not a clue.

Not a story. A thing that happened.

Not again!

Not as long as the master did the talking.

Not at all. I support that decision.

Not by anything she says, no.

Not even the sports guy?

Not gonna happen.

Not just Gloria.

Not Manny.

Not much of a card, Dad, 'cause I don't really care.

Not okay

Not really.

Not really. They said I came out with bangs.

Not since the movie "Twister" exposed how cutthroat it is.

Not that anybody cares, but for lunch, I had a lozenge.

Not to brag, but I could do a production

Not to sound like a total Katen,

Not today!

Now I'm gonna cry. I'm sorry!

Now take a bite of bread,

Now we got a lifetime of "What if?"

Now we have to paint the mailbox when we get home.

Now we're gonna take it down a notch.

Now, brush...

Now, come on.

Now, Gloria, you have admitted yourself

Now, I don't know what can of worms this is,

Now, I need you to pretend to start crying,

Now, I'm very sorry, but I've got to get to work.

Now, just stop being selfish and get up there.

Now, let's put this someplace safe.

O kay.

O... Kay. No, thanks.

Of "12 Angry Men" starring cars.

Of course he's around.

Of course not.

Of course you want to run away

Of course. Power of social media.

Of how she handled herself today, but she's already asleep.

Of my family situation.

Of the closet in our New York hotel.

Oh, and did I mention the picture of Ava's grandmother

Oh, boy, were we wrong.

Oh, boy.

Oh, by the way, here is the insurance money.

Oh, by the way, I found an article online

Oh, Cam.

Oh, come on. Andy and I just broke up.

Oh, come on. Now, listen. Hi. Claire.

Oh, come on. Where is that written?

Oh, Dad, I didn't know you were home.

Oh, do you mean where the audience participates

Oh, don't worry.

Oh, fine. I'll think of something.

Oh, fun.

Oh, God.

Oh, God. Oh, God. He's telling him.

Oh, good God.

Oh, great, I'll see you tonight. What time should I be here?

Oh, here we go.

Oh, hey... Sonia.

Oh, hold on.

Oh, honey, I'm so sorry,

Oh, honey.

Oh, how was the drive?!

Oh, I am sure that the parents have gone through a lot, too.

Oh, I appreciate that, Mitchell.

Oh, I don't know about that. It's

Oh, I just wanted to tell her how proud I was

Oh, I see. Fill my mouth with bourgie opiates

Oh, I think it starts about 9:30.

Oh, I was just, like, trying to get signal.

Oh, I was thinking about

Oh, I wish you wouldn't have told me.

Oh, I wonder who that could be.

Oh, I'm sorry Is she your Ala gramma?

Oh, it was great.

Oh, let go let go of my hair.

Oh, look that sushi restaurant we never made it to.

Oh, my beautiful Bess.

Oh, my God, do you really think I'm a stripper?

Oh, my God, I can't believe it.

Oh, my God, Mitchell. Are we where Lily gets it?

Oh, my God, where?

Oh, my God, where?

Oh, my God! Is this you naked?!

Oh, my God! Just drop it!

Oh, my God! You stayed in New York without us!

Oh, my God! Your mother and I

Oh, my God. Again?

Oh, my God. I can feel your family staring daggers at me.

Oh, my God. I guess so.

Oh, my God. It's Mom.

Oh, my God. Oh, my God!

Oh, my God. You just want me to stay here

Oh, my mine's pink, t Oh. Very funny, Dad.

Oh, my...

Oh, no.

Oh, no.

Oh, of course. You're gonna want to

Oh, Officer. Is there a problem?

Oh, okay. Well, we miss you guys.

Oh, please don't pick a young name.

Oh, right, right.

Oh, right. 'Cause I'm a stripper, Alex.

Oh, right. That's a bad thing.

Oh, she is so sweet.

Oh, she's a bummer, huh?

Oh, so it's a fun month for everyone, huh?

Oh, stop being so hard on yourself. It's just arm hair.

Oh, sweetie, I know.

Oh, thank God. I smell coffee.

Oh, thank you, Gwyneth.

Oh, thanks a lot for that. Very helpful.

Oh, that's more for conditioning that hold.

Oh, that's right Rainer Shine.

Oh, that's so sweet!

Oh, the H bomb!

Oh, there he is!

Oh, uh, we're actually out of those.

Oh, we're taking care of Dane Edna

Oh, what a happy ending.

Oh, what is with this?

Oh, yeah, um,

Oh, yeah. We tried.

Oh, yes, because that's what we're promoting

Oh, you don't have to do that.

Oh, you know, me and Alex just out shopping.

Oh, you're really here.

Oh, you've got to be kidding me.

Oh!

Oh!

Oh!

Oh!

Oh!

Oh! Cam, it is so beautiful outside.

Oh! I had a brainstorm on that property of yours

Oh! I've got to get a picture of this paneling for my dad.

Oh! Lily, we were gonna open Grams' gifts together!

Oh! No, you don't!

Oh! No.

Oh! Oh.

Oh! Shoot. Forgot my room key.

Oh! So you're the big sissy!

Oh! That's the kids pulling up right now.

Oh! We're opening Grams' gifts, huh?

Oh! Where's that suit I got you for Alex's graduation?

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh. Are you sure about that?

Oh. Come on. She's gonna want to talk to Luke.

Oh. Hey.

Oh. I get it. Call me.

Oh. I I may have mentioned that you had a

Oh. I suppose you're gonna read into this, too.

Oh. Oh, and I'm sorry.

Oh. Oh.

Oh. So we're blaming my family, then?

Oh. Wow. Well, if if it's not crossing a line,

Ohh! Wait!

Ohh.

Ohhhh... right.

Okay, again Oh...

Okay, are we really glossing over the fact

Okay, but but do you understand why what you did is wrong?

Okay, Cam. This is Lily's gift, isn't it?

Okay, Coach. I'll meet you at the game.

Okay, Dwight, please stop moving.

Okay, final step

Okay, first question.

Okay, girls, um, I got to go.

Okay, go. Go, go, go!

Okay, got it.

Okay, here's the deal We're staying another night.

Okay, hold on. Nobody move, I got this!

Okay, hold still. You have very deep set eyes.

Okay, I'll play along.

Okay, I'm sorry I lied.

Okay, Joe, repeat after me.

Okay, jump on.

Okay, now I want you to try it

Okay, okay, let's spend it.

Okay, okay. That... that is your gum.

Okay, okay. You're right.

Okay, professor.

Okay, so Cam's grandmother, the one who called me a sissy,

Okay, so I think I got us on a flight through Denver.

Okay, so I think I got us on a flight through Denver.

Okay, so, when do you guys think you're gonna be back?

Okay, that hurts.

Okay, that is it!

Okay, that's fine.

Okay, this is embarrassing. Please don't shoot this.

Okay, those mean the same thing, but okay.

Okay, uh...

Okay, uh...

Okay, well, gift time seems to be over.

Okay, well, I'm gonna head back.

Okay, well, I'm off.

Okay, well, we don't make fun of people

Okay, what is going on?

Okay, why do you look so satisfied?

Okay, wow, that was a close one.

Okay, yeah, t teach me that.

Okay, you know what, Mitchell?

Okay, you're just tired. I'm gonna make you an espresso, and you go back.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay. Bye bye.

Okay. Bye bye. Take care.

Okay. Don't forget to give Funkmaster Linda her check

Okay. Good to be home.

Okay. Her first ice out.

Okay. How about this?

Okay. I'm gonna go first.

Okay. Oh, well, this needs ironing.

On a Tibetan website called CopingCandles.com.

On getting a little bit stronger,

On the state border with me up here in Kentucky

On the streets, you can't trust anyone.

One got stepped on,

One second.

One, all the appliances are included,

Only three hours.

Only to be challenged by a guy who's devoted his entire life

Oof.

Ooh! Peg.

Ooh! The sun is rough on my eyes.

Ooh.

Oop. Looks like I need to re apply.

Open house went great. Lots of interested buyers.

Or a ride in the car, huh? Go for a ride in the car!

Or do we have to, like, do something?

Or even a set place to work,

Or should I say farewell?

Or should I say farewell?

Or vacuum or anything?

Or we will finish

Or whispering in her husband's ear

Otherwise, I never would have known that you cheated,

Our poor sick daughter. We should be taking care of her.

Out of the commercials.

Out there.

Out there.

Over the summer, I went to a wedding in Juárez and met Frida,

Ow, I'm not letting you behind that curtain.

Ow. Ow!

Pam and I are gonna sing a song we wrote when we were younger,

Pancakes, yay!

Papá was so handsome.

Part of being the boss is being a bummer.

Pegs.

Phil and I have always wanted

Phil made a large purchase

Phil, did you text me?

Phil, I know a million people,

Phil! Get it together.

Phil?

Phil. What are you doing here?

Phil's gonna do a little magic trick for you.

Please don't shoot!

Please don't throw the remote again.

Please take me with you.

Please, I'm on the board, and I couldn't not bring my husband

Please. We both know it's a super big deal.

Please. Who?! Who?!

Plus I have a 9 to 5 job now, so bye.

Possibly the most offensive slur

Pretty much, the only time I'm happy is when I clean my gun.

Principal Brown!

Pritchett's Closets and Blinds.

Put your head on my shoulder.

Put your mask on!

Rage against the dying of the light!

Rage!

Rainer Shine.

Rainer, come in. We'll just talk this out.

Rainer!

Raising three kids and running a business.

Raising two dynamite ladies

Ransom call.

Really get those shoulders into it.

Really, I walk five miles a day,

Really?

Really?

Red rover, red rover, red rover.

Red rover, red rover, red rover.

Relax, honey.

Remember how depressed he got when he lost the last election?

Remember how Luke used to call it "jeh woh"?

Remember that time in band when you dropped your flute in the gutter?

Remember when I said I would do most of the talking?

Remember when you first brought Cam home

Remember, just act upset, okay?

Resulted in all the symptoms of PTSD.

Right after the break in down the street.

Right here on your wall.

Right now, Alex is obsessed with some CEO business woman author

Right on cue.

Right where we left her at Thanksgiving.

Right.

Roll!

Ronaldo, what's going on?

Rub off on Fulgencio Joseph.

Rudolph, to the laundry room!

Sadly, it was later weaponized

Sauna over here.

Save it, patriarch.

School saxophones on Craigslist.

Scrappy young kid, born into poverty

Season.

Second of all, no dog of mine should ever have to work.

See how many times our neighbor glared at us.

See this watch? Enrique's grandfather's.

See what I'm talking about?

See you at 7:00.

See, now you've put me in an awkward position.

See? A master.

Sell oranges by the side of the road.

She can't baby sit anymore.

She could run her hands through her hair. That would do it.

She couldn't have been nicer. We talked about Joe.

She did just get back from spending a full summer

She died.

She ever did in high school.

She gets all the credit on this one.

She got a lot on her plate.

She has your son.

She invited a few of us out for coffee.

She left me something! Aww.

She likes it when you stroke her hair and rub her feet.

She makes six figures playing video games.

She needs to be reminded of our values.

She really is.

She said I was gonna get that fan.

She should learn from my guy Mr. Merv Schechter.

She sure would.

She told me my idea was stupid

She wants my hot sauce business in exchange for Manny.

She was very lazy.

She will guard us, and we wouldn't need cameras.

She's gonna be so jealous now that she knows

She's hard to understand because of the dentures she inherited.

She's just using you to yell at us.

She's not the nicest winner.

She's peeing in the corner.

She's still mad because I forwarded her that mass e mail.

She's very fragile right now.

Shoo, shoo. Go.

Should be a short meeting.

Should pass in like 20 minutes or s so.

Shouldn't we follow them or call the police?

Shouldn't we wait for Luke's guidance counselor?

Shouldn't you be at work by now?

Show me where it happened.

Show of hands. Who heard me say "Smell your sausage"?

Similar process to a secret cheer society I was in.

Since I heard about it a minute ago.

Six letter word, Archimedes' exclamation.

Six months ago, I was at Caltech, and now ugh work.

Six months ago, we took you to the dermatologist

Skull and Pom Poms. I've said too much already.

Skydiving.

Small bladder, big brain.

So be it.

So I called him a weirdo.

So I can drive you to work.

So I figured, what the hell?

So I gently talked her out of it.

So I had to steal assignments one at a time.

So I kind of just float around

So I saw a help wanted sign in the coffee shop

So I thought I could do my part for our team.

So I took some things, too.

So I'm not gonna.

So I'm trying to keep the more challenging cases away from her.

So if you're ever wondering what to cook for her,

So much has happened since high school.

So we thought we'd make a road trip of it.

So you can steal all of my old homework.

So you wouldn't even need the minute that Tom's parents did?

So, Cam totally took his family's side

So, do you hate the whole idea of murals, or just

So, he just sits in jello for four days?

So, how about the two of you get going,

So, how is my sister?

So, how you been, buddy?

So, I don't really have a job title

So, I go back to the seller

So, I guess we've stopped looking for a new job?

So, I have a couple notes about last night.

So, is knowing all this enough,

So, listen, I got something kind of rough I need to tell you.

So, Phil, what can I do you for?

So, tell us about yourself, Phil.

So, three daddies?

So, uh, good week?

So, uh, how long is this going to take?

So, uh, you're welcome.

So, we're gonna have to really juice

So, when should we

So, where did we land?

So, you know how it's not just family time that matters.

So, you know, they probably wouldn't even miss him.

Some mangy cat keeps sitting on the roof of my new Rolls.

Some of your stories would be more impactful

Somebody call the race track! Get the doctor!

Someone in winter.

Someone they can look in the eye.

Something funny?

Son in law.

Son of a bitch, that's good!

Sonia didn't care about the recipe.

Sonia, what are you doing here?

Sonia. I'm sorry. Come in.

Sonia's perfect,

Sorry for yelling, Mom. Why were you calling again?

Sorry, your... doorknob came off.

Sorry.

Sorry.

Sorry.

Sorry. I just had some messages.

Sorry. Joe's sleeping in the couch.

Sounds like people laughing at me.

Sounds like somebody's been influenced by living under the same roof

Sounds like you're ramping up to a story,

Spray tan! Who needs a spray tan?

Stand back... I'm gonna throw one of these emergency rocks through the glass!

Still couldn't be, you know, friends.

Still, just so much good family time.

Stop it.

Stop it.

Stop it. You all look so handsome.

Stop pretending, all right? You tricked me.

Stop with the petting and and the walks.

Sugar! I love sugar!

Sure, I put in what we professionals call "sizzle,"

Sure. Here's my statement Pbht!

Sure. Sounds like fun.

Sure. You just don't get comfortable

Surprise!

Sweet neck tattoo.

Sweetheart, this is why people don't like you.

Sweetheart, while I'm very flattered by your sudden interest in business,

Sweetie, look, I, of all people, know what it feels like

Swims with the baby chick.

Tackle these pancakes

Take it it's yours.

Take the win.

Taking orders from the white man.

Taking pictures with a bunch of party girls.

Tammy, you are never gonna believe who's here.

Tammy, you are never gonna believe who's here.

Taught me how to open a can with a bird's beak.

Taxi!

Taxi!

Ted fed Fred bread.

Tell her to bring Manny and the cookies to a neutral place,

Tell the creative team to get their giggles out.

Temperatures plunge below 70 degrees.

Than a kid who insists that 72% of his chocolate is cocoa.

Than the American pigeon?

Thank God that they finished that tunnel in time

Thank you

Thank you for opening up to me about it.

Thank you, honey, but none of my success would have been possible

Thank you, Jay.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you. I know that couldn't have been easy.

Thanks to Alex's hard work,

Thanks, Dad.

Thanks, Mom. Feels good to laugh.

Thanks.

That angry screeching

That being said, we could've handled things a little bit better.

That boy is like a professional.

That cannot be the actual name

That could mess with you as a lady.

That dating her meant that you and I

That doesn't sound like a real job.

That Dwight's something, huh?

That flag outside has been at half mast since April.

That happens to everyone sometimes.

That he'll be crying step uncle.

That he'll never replace me.

That I am a very successful businesswoman.

That I don't have to share with my family.

That I figured something out?

That I'd be giving up that I've always imagined doing,

That if I ever needed a nanny,

That is enough! W w we know you put the bottle under Dwight's bed.

That is gonna keep you close to Papá forever.

That is right. We watched "Pretty Woman" last night.

That is so offensive.

That is the first time you've ever

That is the more beautiful gesture ever.

That isn't your real name, is it?

That it should be partly hers.

That looks good. What is it?

That lying sack

That must be your good friends the Harlem Globetrotters.

That one of my best friends was an old scarecrow

That proved you right about something?

That smug sister of yours needs to be taken down a peg.

That sounds like you.

That story makes me want to put a pillow over my face.

That story's not helping!

That was a year ago.

That was great.

That was just a joke.

That was not gonna happen again.

That we are air conditioning the outside

That we should pull the plug?

That you didn't deserve.

That you have a history of stealing things

That you're trying to unload.

That'd pay off both his mortgages

That'll be worse for you than for me.

That's a great idea.

That's called leadership.

That's great. What's the company?

That's her.

That's how we make money.

That's it! I'm going back to school.

That's it. Get in there.

That's it. He lives outside now.

That's Joe peeing in the corner, not Stella.

That's just oil and a little sea salt.

That's my boy!

That's my name, and these are my teeth.

That's my phone.

That's real? I thought it was just for show.

That's ridiculi

That's right, Manny.

That's right, Steve, but you're gonna want

That's the spirit!

That's weird... I feel like I would've remembered her.

That's why I home school all three of my children.

That's why we're tied.

That's why you put a coupon on a ice sc****r.

The box said these pigs were massaged daily,

The canary or the daffodil?

The car does that automatically.

The cheesy weatherman?

The conference table in our boardroom

The deadline for early admission is tomorrow.

The dirty stepchild of holidays?!

The exchange student from Latvia?

The extracurriculars, okay?

The farther away, the better.

The friend that Lily's playing with?

The genius who supplied me with coasters

The girls. Luke.

The important thing is you two learned something.

The indoor blimp that drops coupons at basketball games.

The key to a good lie is keep it simple.

The kids respond better to other adults.

The last few Father's Days.

The Mexican cookies.

The morning we were set to fly back for Father's Day,

The neighbor across the street

The neighbor across the street

The neighborhoods you lived in,

The one place I feel special...

The ones wrapped in foil don't go in the mouth.

The only thing I did was not be their mother.

The other who's in love with his own aunt

The people next door kept me up all night with their sex noises.

The point is, we are two individuals

The problem is I fee ear

The reality is that Luke's grades and test scores

The rest of the time, I'm... I'm with my wife.

The roads were very icy.

The same day my security cameras are going up.

The same thing that's been happening all damn day!

The soldier is the hero.

The Supreme Court can't force us to let in.

The three things I want you to pay attention to

The Walls? You mean Barb and Thad Wall? Are they in trouble?

The way things ended with me and Vlad,

The way things ended with me and Vlad, it always haunted me

The weatherman. Don't you watch the news?

The whole world is your club!

The world doesn't need a 50 year old Jasmine.

The year is 18

The, uh The owner wasn't the only thing that's been slashed.

Then I'm canceling the night time!

Then killed from behind to keep the panic hormone from tainting the meat.

Then some bigger things.

Then we got the backyard, front door.

There are thousands of "Hamilton" parodies,

There he is!

There he is. That's Vlad.

There he is. That's Vlad.

There he is. There's my old pal.

There she is our little girl!

There's a cop walking towards us.

There's a little bit of prejudice in everyone

There's a quote for your poster.

There's a stipulation in my contract

There's actually an ethnic slur for Norwegians.

There's also cherries jubilee in the fridge.

There's enough kudos for everyone.

There's got to be a better way.

There's got to be something!

There's mud out front, so Dwight insisted.

There's no more football.

They arrested two of the three perpetrators.

They call me "Ace" and "Jay Boy" and "Pritch."

They can be a little close minded down there.

They don't really look like house buyers.

They find little ways to express it.

They had a fight, and Lily said the worst possible thing.

They hated the both of us.

They just call them cookies.

They just never had a table for five.

They probably assumed you were fun

They put in nursery schools and insane asylums.

They were murdered from behind?

They're doing a segment on the real estate market,

They're getting along great, and then one little spat,

They're gonna get a million applications

They're not all lies.

They're trying to bribe me not to run for president.

They've drummed up a lot of business. Maybe I...

Think bigger.

This again.

This amazing girl who enlightened me

This can't all be carnival related.

This collar itches.

This is a pretty bad neighborhood, Jay.

This is living, huh?

This is my make up artist/daughter, Haley Dunphy.

This is my place, damn it.

This is my wife, Gloria.

This is not one of your more loveable traits.

This is our thing.

This is Shawn and I want to get this right,

This is the story that we're telling

This is why you sabotage my whole life?

This is your senior year,

This just in I'm gonna be on the news.

This looks like a good place to sweat out some Peach Melba.

This might be kind weird,

This morning has gotten off to a bit of a Rocky Horror Picture Show.

This one is for all of the lawyers in the room

This so doesn't matter.

This was full.

Though, if you're a lesbian, please be the fun kind.

Thought I'd see you down at the concession stand.

Three W's on her board.

Three years ago, they gave me an "absolutely anything,"

Through all our accounts on multiple platforms,

Through the doggy door at Zeta house and stole a pie.

Through the mist, I saw the truck's headlights.

Through the nose.

Through the park.

Throw it, baby! Throw it!

Throw out our speeches and speak from the heart.

Till we have to pick up Lily at hip hop.

To accept the fact that my son

To beat the heat, one local man is using his head.

To clown college?

To discuss Luke's college options.

To do some work at the kitchen table

To drive across the country together,

To finally beat Alex at Scrabble.

To Florida and it was my intention to have my family

To get back to all that science stuff again.

To get this thing off the ground?

To go from being the center of attention

To help me speak more clear ely.

To how Communism can rid the world of injustice.

To leave your kites at home tonight.

To put a down payment on a condo.

To say about this lapse in judgment.

To see each of you.

To spend a few more days here to recover?

To the guy putting up the security cameras.

To watching skateboard fails on YouTube.

To work on herself.

Today's my last day.

Tomorrow's open mic night at the Apollo.

Totally. We deserve some kudos here, too.

Trust me on this.

Trust me, this'll look completely normal on camera.

Try to make something of myself."

Trying to make it look like you read it?

Tuesday breakfast, Tuesday lunch.

Tumbling stories, bad jokes, and they ate it up!

Two, the previous residents were murdered there,

Ugh.

Ugh. All right, let's look at the speech.

Ugh. I see where he gets it from.

Ugh. What are we gonna do?

Ugh. What is wrong with me? I feel so fuzzy.

Ugh. Why can't I get this?

Uh huh, uh huh.

Uh huh.

Uh huh.

Uh huh. Yeah. I get it.

Uh oh.

Uh, I already did that. It's 3:30.

Uh, I I'm Phil Dunphy.

Uh, no, uh, that doesn't really sound like me,

Uh, they're still at the farm.

Uh, we're home, we flew in last night.

Uh, well, stay calm.

Uh, white, mid century, big back porch?

Uh, why is anything anywhere?

Uh, yes, it's been years, huh, uh, T T Tammy.

Uh...

Uh...

Uh...

Uh... no. I don't remember that at all.

Uhhhhhh...

Um, I also raised three children,

Um, I'm wondering if you'd, uh, sponsor me

Um, it's... right down this hall.

Um...

Under a Mozart fugue, we suddenly see a drop of blood.

Under the watchful eyes of her half naked fathers.

Until my fingers are raw and my back is bent.

Until your head got small again.

Us walking out before dinner?

Vietnam.

Vigorously attending to my groin.

Vlad, come up here.

Vlad.

Vladdie, sweetie, you're here.

Wait you guys flew in?

Wait a minute. It is raining in the background.

Wait a minute. You think my business is in the same universe

Wait a second.

Wait, that was Claire's husband, right?

Wait, wait, does... does anybody else see his ghost right now?

Wait. How How did you know about that

Wait. You think I'm going to lose?

Wake me when it's my turn.

Walk along that wall, read from your script.

Was "Stand and Deliver" over the top?

Was I the kind of person

Was it a little risky?

Was living a different kind of life than the one that I anticipated,

Was the sweet sound of my new home bummer.

Was transferred to an army base in Florida.

Watch me!

Water skiing in a bikini that was directly in my eye line?

We we want you to be better than us.

We accepted the fact that a 9 year old

We all know it's gonna be a pig.

We all need to be as mentally and physically tough as Dwight.

We all want to get out of here!

We are 3 0, but if we're gonna go all the way,

We are bidding a big job against my old nemesis,

We are having a serious conversation when I get home.

We brought cupcakes. Manny, cupcake?

We can use Luke's carnival settlement money.

We can't use that money. It's for college.

We cheated.

We could stay here for a romantic few days

We couldn't turn on lights or make loud noises

We decided to spend the summer in Missouri.

We didn't get to the North Pole yet.

We don't even have a song.

We don't really need all this stuff, but okay.

We get the kid back.

We had a lot of fun, though, didn't we?

We have a lot of turnover here.

We have our own kid problems.

We have to leave Juarez right now!

We just dealt with him.

We just want to know why you called Tom a weirdo

We look like The Three Amigos.

We made $500 last night for promoting a hookah bar.

We may have ruined your day, yes,

We may never know the answer to that clue,

We met at the car rental counter to vacation with us.

We miss you guys.

We need to pick up a wheel of Arizona spicy sheep cheese.

We open on a blank sheet of paper.

We paid for the whole seat, but we're only using the edge of it.

We raised her to have an open mind.

We should also maybe get some ice for drinks.

We should be able to make our own decisions, you know?

We should check in with the kids from "the road."

We should've talked to you

We stayed in New York for five more days.

We wanted to give Lily a chance to come clean on her own.

We were in Juarez

We were the ones who really suffered.

We weren't discussing Adderall.

We women have been told to suppress it,

We would have been here a lot earlier,

We wouldn't have airplanes!

We'll miss you!

We're both Congressmen.

We're done here.

We're going to school. Wait for me in the car.

We're good, Nancy.

We're liars! I'm so sorry.

We're not doing this again.

We're not friends.

We're putting Luke on Adderall or taking him off? I forget.

We're sisters. We shouldn't fight.

We're still leaving. She's just catching her breath.

We're taking how we did this to the grave.

We're taking how we did this to the grave.

We're the same age, by the way.

We're the same age, by the way.

We're very disappointed in you.

We've got a problem here.

We've trained her to take carbs away from us.

Wed wovah, wed wovah, wed wovah.

Welcome home.

Welcome, welcome!

Well and I say this with love

Well, all these powerful guys.

Well, at least let me give you something in return.

Well, guess you could say you had a "sax" scandal, then.

Well, he isn't, and neither are we.

Well, honey, I think you need to focus

Well, honey, the important thing is that you are okay.

Well, honey, why didn't you tell us?

Well, I don't gets it.

Well, I finished the video for my Juilliard application.

Well, I homaged it about two weeks on "Jay Talking."

Well, I know of him. We haven't formally been introduced.

Well, I look forward to what's about to happen.

Well, I mean, the night wasn't a total waste.

Well, I wasn't gonna yell it, but at least it's out there.

Well, I'm definitely interested.

Well, I'm going to the store later.

Well, if it's any consolation, this isn't any worse.

Well, if that is the custom, I

Well, it turns out that Tom used to identify as... Tina.

Well, it's better than any report card

Well, Mama's reading her poetry.

Well, maybe she has a reason to think

Well, most of being a parent isn't fair.

Well, most of being a parent isn't fair.

Well, no, but at least we would've know how you felt,

Well, no, no. Maybe a minute.

Well, now, this is a lovely party.

Well, oh wise one...

Well, someone there said I was a real natural.

Well, that was worth the journey.

Well, that's interesting, because the minute it took me

Well, that's just a reflex.

Well, that's weird.

Well, then let's make this happen.

Well, then you'll be dressed for your funeral.

Well, they are a little bit set in their ways.

Well, this bothers me.

Well, this is a fine kettle of fish.

Well, Tom's been having some problems at school,

Well, uh, you and I have something in common, actually.

Well, we need to take this food to Santa Claus.

Well, we'll we'll just keep looking.

Well, we'll still get home before them. They'll never know.

Well, what am I supposed to do?

Well, why don't I stop talking

Well, you can see how they'd wonder

Well, you can tell her in the morning, okay?

Well, you deserve it just as much as I do

Well, you know what I say?

Well, you know, she did get very stupid near the end.

Well, you shouldn't blame yourself,

Well... what about what Luke's doing?

Well... y

Went a little something like... like this.

Wha wh What project?

What What is he talking about?

What a great reunion.

What am I gonna do?

What am I gonna do?

What am I looking at?

What am I saying? Stand up, kids?

What are you doing?!

What are you even doing home?

What are you girls doing today?

What are you guys doing in here?

What are you guys doing?

What are you talking about?

What did you do to your face?

What do you even say to someone in a coma?

What do you say we go find Grandpa, huh?

What does Phil bring to the party no else does?

What else is there?

What friendship means?

What happened to "Team Gets It"?

What happened, papi?

What happened?!

What have you got?

What he said.

What I wanted to talk about was how on page 1 of your book,

What if it's more than that?

What if mono permanently changed my brain?

What is happening?

What is she gonna do? Raise Manny?

What is she so mad about?

What is so funny?

What makes you spe cial.

What project?

What says to Juilliard, "I'm your guy"?

What that unlicensed carnival started, okay?

What the hell are you telling her?

What the what?!

What time period was all this taking place?

What was that?

What we need to do is promote you, okay?

What you did to Dwight was wrong, okay?

What you said yesterday, and you were right.

What?

What?

What?

What?

What?

What? Wh Off who?

What? What are you saying, Mitchell?

What?! It took me 45 minutes to get into this outfit!

What's going on?

What's Madison Avenue flu?

What's the clue? Maybe I can help.

What's with all the duckface?

What's with the suit?

Whatever I am, whatever I have to give,

When did you two set up this little rendezvous?

When everybody else zigs, you've got to zoink.

When have you ever made us breakfast?!

When he could just barge in and

When I came to, the doctor told me we'd been in a horrible

When I saw the Statue of Liberty holding that paintbrush.

When I think of the last few Father's Days,

When they all turned against me.

When they brought home a seven pound

When you give your big speech.

When you lose a love like that at such a young age,

When you're high waisted, it is very difficult

Whenever you talk about death.

Where are your keys? I need the jumper cables.

Where I can close the door and have a glass of Scotch.

Where the government chooses all our songs, so be it.

Where the person gets kidnapped and then

Which I have to get back to work.

Which is why it was so important that I made it here tonight.

Which means that...

Which shirt for the party...

While everyone else's significant other

While I was killing it on the air?

While Ronaldo takes Pepper to Asia for a medical procedure.

Who am I kidding? I can't fall asleep.

Who are different, okay?

Who are you talking to?

Who dresses as a cop for work.

Who needs a place to stay until the end of football

Who opened his home and his heart to me

Who opened my 12th grade G****s of Wrath essay?

Who taught me to believe in myself and dream big.

Who used to identify as... Tina.

Who would send her sick sister back to school

Who's basically an older looking version of me.

Who's here so early?

Who's next? Hmm?

Who's to say who the bigger hero is.

Whoa, careful now.

Whoa!

Whose parents drive the car that runs on French fry oil?

Why am only now noticing how beautiful you are?

Why are we not talking about this in the front yard?

Why are you kissing him?

Why are you so calm?

Why aren't our feet at the end of our arms?

Why aren't you all making posters?

Why can't he stay with someone else?

Why can't we just skip to the good part?

Why did she call me a sissy?

Why did you buy this for me?

Why did you let her in?

Why did you tell her about the sauce?

Why do you always insist on making these big decisions

Why do you need them to know you have a black friend?

Why does she want your sauce business, anyway?

Why is everyone talking to me?

Why is it on the hallway table?

Why learn self reliance when the industrial machine

Why would he leave me in peace

Why would I make an exchange? We have all the leverage.

Why would the neighbors just assume that you're a racist?

Why?

Why? What's wrong?

Will you get over that?

Win, win, win, win, win, win, win!

With "Cuba Gooding."

With a big smile on your face.

With a certain captain of industry.

With an all cash no contingency offer

With fewer details.

With our own unique personalties and ideas.

With so many stinging rejoinders

With something like that overnight.

With the deck stacked against him.

With the Madison Avenue flu.

With their tribute to the films of Zac Efron,

With your family in Missouri.

With your goggle straps.

Without discussing it with me first?

Without your support as a homemaker.

Worried about how it would look,

Would make the house feel so crowded?

Would you like to issue a statement about Eric Thompson's

Wouldn't want to be consistently late

Wow, look at you.

Wow, those sausages smell fantastic!

Wow.

Wow. I can't wait to hear what you have

Wrote their last will and testament

Yeah, and maybe it's just the high of being on vacation,

Yeah, at the gas station.

Yeah, because I'd wear a brown belt with black shoes?

Yeah, but that's not fair.

Yeah, can't we just stay a couple more days?

Yeah, everybody made it.

Yeah, go get me a beer.

Yeah, good save.

Yeah, he lift me up where I belong.

Yeah, he's got a really nice house

Yeah, I guess I could say a few words.

Yeah, I saw that when you came in.

Yeah, I start tomorrow. I'm excited.

Yeah, it's almost 4:00.

Yeah, it's almost 4:00.

Yeah, it's too bad.

Yeah, life, huh? Here, give me a hug.

Yeah, listen, I don't know how I'm gonna tell you this.

Yeah, no, uh, not fun, actually.

Yeah, she is, and she's half your age.

Yeah, thanks again for that, but it didn't help.

Yeah, that I can do.

Yeah, that's it. That's good.

Yeah, they never say it

Yeah, who could forget

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, you look really nice, but what she means is

Yeah! Well, he's fine, you know.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah. Coming right up.

Yeah. Go up there and be like,

Yeah. Hi, Ms. Pasternack.

Yeah. Hold on a second.

Yeah. I know who you are, Leslie.

Yeah. It was payday,

Yeah. Me too.

Yeah. So do I.

Yeah. That's the garbage area.

Yeah. Well, I think you should go for it.

Yeah. Well...

Yep. I'm working on my speech right now.

Yes, and there's gonna be consequences.

Yes, I do.

Yes, it was, Anders, you stupid ice [bleep]

Yes, it was.

Yes, it's bold to include my own name,

Yes, the cream of society

Yes, you will, and I'll help.

Yes!

Yes!

Yes!

Yes!

Yes! Dynamic wordplay!

Yes! Who's a winner?

Yes.

Yes.

Yes. We can.

Yes. You were.

Yet. But if you play ball...

Yo, looks like everyone made it.

You You call it "Massacre Manor,"

You all right, Dad?

You always take your family's side.

You are jealous of me.

You are my children!

You are the only one who really cares about me.

You are this month's "Person with a Porpoise."

You can have the rest.

You can keep him for as long as you want. Thank you.

You can live here as long as you want.

You can make connections here that'll last forever.

You can sleep on the end of our bed if you want to.

You can't blame them for questioning your story

You copied that from that play "Hamilton," right?

You could blow off the convention.

You don't get an unlimited number of these.

You don't know her like I do.

You don't love having to be the bummer at home, too.

You don't see us making you pay...

You don't think I can relate to my peers?

You don't think this looks bad

You don't want to go to sleep!

You each have a sausage on your plate

You ever brought home.

You find a member to sponsor you,

You forgot your speech, didn't you?

You get that, right?

You go be Vlad.

You got fired, didn't you?

You got in late last night, huh?

You got it. I'm Shawn, by the way.

You got to

You got to be kidding me.

You got two lives left, Taffy!

You got your own problems, but you're right there for me.

You guys are always laughing so crazy hard

You guys been drinking?

You had the cameras scheduled,

You have a problem.

You have to apologize to Dwight, too.

You have to learn how to live on crumbs.

You have to talk to her.

You heard mom and dad. They said no.

You heard that wrong.

You just know something bad's gonna happen.

You know beakers, calculators, ray guns.

You know un hick her.

You know how crazy Sonia can be.

You know how proud I am of my gender identificadar.

You know my dad's in the service?

You know that Alex look up to you, right?

You know what we should do?

You know what?

You know what? Staying here a few more days

You know what? There are just too many distractions here.

You know, a kudo would be an excellent name for a parenting award.

You know, I only owe you so much.

You know, I'm off contact sports right now.

You know, if you were Orville Redenbacher's dad,

You know, not every kid is destined for college.

You know, what she used to paint freedom in America.

You know, where the people Ckkk!

You left Juarez so fast, I didn't get to say goodbye.

You let those people know that you're better than them,

You look amazing. I love it!

You look like you're at a bachelorette party in Tampa.

You may begin.

You mean I could have stopped it?

You need one more move to drive this home, and I'm thinking,

You owe him an apology this minute.

You pop that hat off, you get a little sun on your face.

You really want to leave things like that?

You remember that day when you said

You saw that episode, right?

You saw the sign.

You say you had hard time not bringing your work home.

You see that girl?

You sold my neighbor's house Doris Jacobs.

You son of a bitch.

You sound just like my father!

You spend the rest of your life trying to replace it.

You still do that thing where you smile

You still want to be friends?

You the realtor?

You think?

You three lucked out a little bit in that department, right?

You told Cam he was crazy.

You told me you wanted your job to be "princess."

You too. Hey, uh, listen.

You trampoline?

You tried to steal me and kill her.

You wait till the last minute, you wind up eating

You want to go up against the Pritchett political machine?

You were in New York this whole time, and you didn't say anything

You will find that he will enrich

You will never tell him about this,

You won't go back to a party? Why?

You would love to take care of Joe?

You wouldn't.

You, get on the couch, go to sleep.

You, me,

You'd do that for me?

You'll never understand the stereotypes old white men face.

You'll scare David Blaine.

You're a disgrace.

You're being ridiculous.

You're despicable.

You're doing good!

You're giving it back, and remember, the second that job

You're going to lose!

You're gonna be fine once you drink...

You're gonna see some air vents on the way there.

You're in the State Congress,

You're just gonna be disappointed.

You're just moving in. I'm right across the street.

You're kidding, right?

You're my hero, Nancy. Thank you. Thank you.

You're not even trying.

You're not gonna believe who's behind you.

You're not one of those storm chasers, are you?

You're probably right to nip that speech problem in the bud.

You're still young. You can take a bright bulb.

You're taking Dwight in?

You're the smartest one in the family,

You're using me as a therapy dog.

You're watching movies with him, shopping with him.

You've been a bad boy.

You've been doing it since I was 10 years old

You've got a gay son in law, too?

You've got to stand out.

Your daddy tells me that you have come down

Your daughter has gone into business for herself.

Your grandson jammed in my back.

Your last job barely sounded like a real job.

Your viewers should work with a realtor they can trust.

1:00.

4:00, Your Honor.

22.

100%, and once you get to know Dwight the way...

... and vulnerable. Hey.

... car accident! Car accident.

Alex, wait! Right.

All right. Nice.

Almost done here. Take your time.

And beautiful. Thanks, honey.

and cover this wind event. Mm.

And then again from '82 to '85. Okay.

And there's nothing she could do He.

and your mom in the back seat over in West Virginia. Got it.

Are you okay? I'm fine.

Are your parents mallards? What?

Aww. Mask!

Bleh. Ehh.

Brought you this. Oh, thanks.

But I'm not tired. Don't care.

but things have been real bad. You know what might help?

Bye, Grandpa! Bye, kiddo!

Bye, Tom. Bye, Tom.

Bye! Bye, guys!

Bye! Bye! Bye!

Cam? Uh, let's hear it for this month's

Cam's grandma died? Oh, my God.

Car accident. Shh.

Car accident. You don't know.

Coach, you okay? Mm hmm. Yeah.

Coach? Yes?

Come on. I feel so bad. I had no idea what I was doing.

Could you pull on it? Is this gonna happen all the time now?

Daddy? What?

Do not go gentle... Do not go gentle into that good night.

Excuse me. Hello.

Fine. Fine.

Front door open. Ay, no!

Gloria? Haley,

Grab it! Grab it.

Grab it! Grab it.

He was there. Mm.

He. There's nothing he could do that would change that.

He's gonna lose. He might not

Hello! Shall we start?

Hey, Aunt Sonia. Hola, Manny.

Hey, guys. Hey.

Hey! Hey!

Hey. Hey!

Hi, honey. Hey.

Hi! How are you? Hi!

Hi. Hi.

Hmm. Oh.

Hmm. Something wrong?

Honey. Dad, you hit "place order" once,

I did not. You always trick me.

I do not. You asked that couple

I get it. I grabbed it. I will move my seat.

I got mono. Too close!

I guess I did do that, huh? Yeah.

I love what you're doing. Well, thank you.

I mean, that poor boy's been through enough. Mm.

I think it's pretty good. Mm hmm.

I think they're just being friendly. Cam, oh, my God.

I think... Stop talking

I'll see you guys later? Okay. Be careful, Dwight.

I'm a winner! Who's a winner?!

I'm sorry! You are so weak.

I'm sorry. Don't be sorry! Be smart!

If you get this, please come... No one can help you now!

Interactive theater is fun. It's not fun. It's never fun.

It sure did, big guy! Again?

It won't budge. Oh, wait,

It's quality family time. I agree.

It's their Oscars. Oh.

Jay is right. Luke is a dummy. Never said that.

Jay Pritchett. Jay.

Jay. How you doing, huh?

Let You know, we can do this later. You opened yours.

Lily! That is not

Listen. Let me stop you.

Meh. Neh.

Meh. Pbht.

Meh. Same. Meh.

Mitchell, what are you doing? Many friends.

Mm hmm. No electronics for a week.

Mm. It's a splendid afternoon.

Mnh mnh. Hm.

Mom? You heard me. It's tomorrow.

More tea? No thanks. My cup is still full.

Morning. Oh, would you like some coffee?

Nice turnout. Sure is.

No crazy bread this year? Yeah!

No, no, no, no, no. Of course you do!

No! No! No!

No. No.

Oh, my God. They're talking. Are they?

Oh! The note says,

Oh! I missed you! Buddy!

Oh! No. Mnh mnh.

Oh. Any one of these people could buy this house.

Oh. Hello, students!

Oh. Not him?

Oh. Oh.

Oh. That's why we have these.

Oh. How's that work?

Ohh. Okay, little reindeer,

Okay, I'm going! ...two...

Okay. Help your aunt. Go ahead.

Okay. I rhymed "rice pudding"

Okay. Knock, knock!

Okay. There we are.

Okay. Yeah.

Okay. See ya, pal. See ya.

Pbht. Buh.

Phil Denphy, you are the best! No.

Phone cases? I am so sorry.

Rainer Shine! Who?

Ready to go? Yes! Yes!

Really, you want to roll those dice? Hmm.

Really? Really.

Really? Yeah, she's available,

so I can't speak for the people? That was a lot.

So, what do you think? Quiet.

Sorry. Yeah.

Sounded like you said... Hey, everybody!

Stay strong. Yes.

talk to them. That's not a good idea.

Taxi! Damn it! It's already taken!

Thank you for bweakfast. You're welcome, sweetie.

Thanks, Coach. Yes.

That doesn't sound like you. It's It's

That's how you do that. Done.

The number, the number. $120.

There you go. Oh.

There you go. Wait a second.

There you go. You're a good friend, Jay.

These guys are great. Listen.

They must have changed that, too. Thanks, Jay.

They're publicly shaming us. We deserve it.

This is feeling a little weird. Trust us.

This must be yours. Okay.

Touchdown! Hey! Wow!

Uh huh. Mm kay?

Uh oh. What did you do?

until 1980. See? It's

Us too. Drive safely. Bye.

We can finish later. Yeah, yeah.

We love Lily. Lou.

We love Lou. Mm hmm.

We sure did. Eh... Well...

We're good. Yeah?

We're grabbing drinks tonight. No big deal. I agree.

Well, here you go. No, no.

What did you say? Kentucky.

What happened? I spent the last hour in my car,

What isn't? Always saying "no" to things

What? And it's a show stopper.

What? I yelled at him 'cause he made fun of...

What? If so, you can use the knife

What?! Yeah, it's just that,

What's What's to make fun of? Oh, thank God.

Who? Vlad.

Who? Vlad.

Why was she wearing a name tag? I don't know.

Would you let me finish? Okay, fine. Go ahead.

Wow. Wow.

Yeah, I just wanted us to all be together today. Aww!

Yeah, stay, Alex. Sleeping does sound good.

Yeah. Well...

Yeah. Yeah?

Yes, we did. Yeah.

Yes! Yes. Yes. Yes!

You didn't want me? This isn't about you, honey.

You got the brakes on? Go! Ow! Your spikes.

You know how hard it was for Daddy and me? Yeah.

You know they were made from the keys of a child's piano.

You lean into it. Hmm?

You name it. Really?

You sell closets and blinds? Mm hmm.

You sound insane! All right.

You still in? Absolutely.

You're leaving me here?! No, I can't have you at this club!

¿Sí?

...I do,

...uh, Luke here is President of the Student Council,

'Cause I didn't want your feelings to get hurt.

'Cause I thought you would look great up there

'Course, with Joe and also her hot sauce business,

"... at CEO comedy night."

"Ahh, Get this blood off me!"

"Are you still talking?"

"Charles Mansion."

"Downton Stabby,"

"Enjoy all my old lipstick, you big sissy."

"I admire you, Mom."

"Is that why you're dressed like a hookah?"

"Leave me alone."

"Molière, Beckett, Delgado."

"Mondays off. Like, pizza and whatever."

"Nancy Decker kills..." Oh!

"Nancy Decker lawsuit"... nope.

"Nancy Decker nose job"... nope.

"Never stop rocking."

"Ohh! Ohh!"

"Okay, I'm going"?

"Person with a Porpoise" Mitchell Pritchett!

"Show me the way."

"Sweet Home Ala gramma."

"T," "L"...

"Welcome to the streets I call home.

"When Cam first brought you here,

"Who else but you should inherit my beloved Oriental fan?

"Why am I taking a business course anyway?"

"Yo! What's up, ballers?!"

"You might want to move on from this one,"

"You're gonna share your room "

"Your grandpa tore it right off of a dead kraut's wrist."

♪

♪ A Columbian dropped ♪

♪ Eyes and hair of gorgeous blue ♪

♪ How does an artsy, well read, child of divorce ♪

♪ I win! I win! You lose! ♪

♪ In suburbia with confidence and ♪

♪ In the middle of a forgotten plot ♪

♪ Onward ♪

♪ Sweet home Ala gramma ♪