All in the Family - Season 1 Edit

A 'lectrical engineer ! Yeah !

A brunch. It figures. She's readin' Cosmopolitan again.

A certain Mrs. rhoda greenspan...

A guy who wears glasses is a four eyes. A guy who is a fag is a queer.

A little dent ? And you were making a federal case out of it.

A minute or so ago...

A pipsqueak like you, you have the nerve to insult the commander in chief

A real pip.

A second choice all American a man, and I mean a real man,

A station wagon filled with nuns.

A station wagon filled with nuns.

A what ? A brunch.

Aaah !

About everything.

According to our records,

According to them, you were coming out of the parking lot when it happened.

Actually, it was set up that way originally,

Actually, something interesting did happen today.

After they paid for the lawyer, they had $3,200 left over.

Afterwards, did you jiggle ?

Against black people ? Mr. bunker ?

Against black people.

Against who ?

Ah, well, I hear them. We got a couple of hebes workin' down at the building.

Ahh yeah. Maybe she could at that.

Ain't they still pickin' handkerchiefs out of their sleeve, huh ?

Ain't they still standin' around,

All his pinko stuff, well, that's all right.

All I did was the same thing.

All I'm sayin' is, don't blame me !

All right, all right

All right, all right, all right !

All right, all right, Edith. You're gettin' me all wet.

All right, all right. Come on, will youse.

All right, all right. Leave it there, huh ? Cosmopolitan.

All right, Archie, enough's enough. Just give me the letter.

All right, Edith, I'm going over to kelcy's bar,

All right, Edith, leave it there.

All right, Edith.

All right, it's bad enough you gotta make fun of me.

All right, let's see.

All right, Lionel, all right. You don't have to give me their "dun and broadstreets."

All right, now, here it is. Now, keep quiet. [ Tv: Crowd cheering ]

All right, now, Michael, promise me something.

All right, that's your "submissive" society.

All right, wise guy, so I'm dependable.

All right, you two. That's enough of that. Michael, I need you.

All right. "Harris and whipple.

All right. All right. I'm a polack.

All right. For now we'll just turn down the sound. Why ?

All right. Go ! [ Chuckling ]

All right. What do you got ? Yeah.

All set, Archie.

All that sociology and studyin' that welfare stuff, I don't call that no hard work.

All the things we've been talking about

Along the following lines

Alongside of you, he's like a green kid.

Alvin haymond's 88 yard run back, and I missed it. It's your fault !

America means it's his God given right, and anything else is un American.

America means it's up to him.

And all I'm saying, Barney, there's a time and a place for everything.

And all the other minorities their just and hard earned share of the American dream.

And ask your son in law to sit up like a human being.

And cookin' and marketing.

And could you help me set the table too ? Roger will be here in a few minutes.

And don't give me that look. You didn't think it was so hot neither.

And even if he wasn't and I said if what difference would that make ?

And everybody behind him. Yeah, they was all movin', Edith !

And flowers. I've just never seen such

And for another thing

And get that ridiculous hat off your head !

And God forbid I'm in there shaving.

And have two stores ? [ Edith ] Oh, my goodness !

And he always says the same thing.

And he doesn't know about any of this.

And he don't bring in none of his friends.

And he's an intellectual and he wears glasses, you make him out a queer.

And he's doin' a good job of it too.

And he's got a bumper sticker on his car that says,

And I been to church more than 4 times in 22 years too.

And I don't care what color he is.

And I heard your wife, my flesh and blood, repeat it.

And I know that tribe.

And I mean leanin'. [ Chuckling ]

And I mean plowed. Wham !

And I mean the all time all timers.

And in your president's opinion,

And it was one minute after 4:00.

And mom likes just about any kind of flowers. Will a dollar be enough ?

And my father, Mr. bunker. Mr. bunker.

And next week they should do 1,500, easy.

And no matter who it is, we ain't home, huh ?

And one minute later, after the picture was snapped,

And our embossed stationery with the initials intertwined at the top,

And people who contribute to society.

And pull that skirt down.

And right after you snapped the picture, he was moving again.

And she says well spoils the flavor.

And that's 200 better than the week before.

And the bleedin' hearts and weepin' nellies like youse two.

And the first time you see her, she's leanin' over the counter.

And the Japanese are a race of midgets,

And the whiplash in our neck is quite severe.

And then he wouldn't sign the letter. I wouldn't have neither.

And then the next minute, after the picture has been snapped,

And we don't need any strange little birdies flyin' in and out of it.

And where they're going,

And you know what you can do with your Jack lemmon.

And you know what you can do with your John Wayne. What about John Wayne ?

And you pick up the chair, and ta da.

And you polacks are meatheads

And you saved this, huh ?

And you write what I dictate.

And, Gloria, you get up and straighten out some of the pictures on the walls.

And, oh, Roger, have some fancy cashews

And, uh, archery.

And, well, the office has had clients out this way before.

Any chair. Okay. All right, I'll get another chair

Any gourmet will tell you, the only way to eat meat is rare.

Any man deserves my respect, he's gonna get it regardless of his color.

Any one of those guys has got more brains in his little finger...

Anything for sandwiches ? You can't get anything more natural than baloney.

Anyway, daddy, why can't you watch Jack lemmon with us ?

Anyway, you gotta go see this Wanda. I'm gonna go see it.

Archery ? Yeah, it's good for the arms and the shoulders.

Archie !

Archie bunker is...

Archie, an accident ? Daddy, are you all right ?

Archie, I brought you some juice.

Archie, I'm makin' a joke. Can't you take a joke ?

Archie, look. You might as well face it. You're all alone in this.

Archie, maybe you can bring back a pitcher of kelcy's tap.

Archie, say you're sorry.

Archie, the sister is collecting for the underprivileged children.

Archie, this is "Mr. Whitney fitzroy I v."

Archie, this is Mr...

Archie, we don't have no writing paper like that.

Archie, you're always watching football.

Archie. Mmm ?

Are you all right ? Can I get you anything more ?

Are you kiddin' ?

Are you serious ? Certainly. All right, go.

Are you, uh, comfortable, Mr. bunker ?

Aren't the colors vibrant ? And you know, they smelled heavenly.

Aren't you gonna be late meeting Steve and the guys at the tavern ?

As a matter of fact, it was your rather eloquent appeal to my secretary...

As long as we're together."

At approximately 6:30 in the evening.

At rabinowitz et al,

Aw, come on, Steve.

Aw, come on. I mean

Aw, go on, will ya, meathead.

Ballpoint pens ? I can't write to the president with ballpoint pens.

Because guys like you are unwilling to give the black man, the Mexican American...

Because I got nothin' to beef about.

Because I wanna say something.

Because if the drinking water in Washington, D.C. is becomin' unsafe,

Because in a meeting people sit down together and exchange ideas.

Because sometimes strangers is best.

Because there's a black guy that works down at the building with me,

Because we got poverty. Real poverty. You know why we got that ?

Before you say anything, let me warn you.

Besides, he don't, uh, camp it up, you know ?

Besides, I ain't sittin' still for no preacher tellin' me...

Besides, I only played two seasons.

Bobsleddin'. There's a manly sport.

Boy or girl ? A boy.

Boy, the strength hey, do me a favor.

Bring me some bicarbonate of soda, will ya.

Bring us over a beer here, will ya, Edith.

But even if you are, it doesn't change things between you and me.

But he could prance and flit all over this room with it.

But he didn't ask for it.

But he thinks that you're a

But I ain't ******* !

But I could tell you something that could shock you pretty good.

But I didn't curse the reverend from right in the front pew.

But I didn't know we had atheists !

But I don't mind, though.

But it tastes like instant, huh ?

But that's where it ends.

But then we realized the area that you live in and your name,

But then, he wouldn't get her anything, and it'll make mom's day.

But they advertise in the times instead of the news.

But this Wanda thing has got what they call...

But when they goes besmearin' when they go besmearin' the name of a great linebacker,

But who had the good taste to pick it out ?

But you didn't mean to call me Emily post. Oh, jeez.

But you wouldn't happen to be one of them, would you ?

But you're forgetting one thing. You didn't have to hustle with black skin.

But, uh, m m Mr. bunker no, no, no ! Get away from me, you !

By the way, did you fix the tv ? Sure did, Mr. bunker.

By the way, that's a nice suit you got on.

Bye, Lionel. See ya, Lionel.

Can they move ! It's in their blood.

Can't I rely on you to do nothin' right ? The man that mails, jiggles !

Can't we at least sit down like rational people and discuss this ?

Cannot stand up. Can't get up.

Care for an olive ? Uh huh.

Certain things are no different now than they ever were.

Certainly I jiggled

Certainly, start at the beginning.

Chair in place, head on the wall.

Cheaper than a repairman, believe me.

Cohen just go on readin'. Go on, go on.

Cohen and Ginsberg "

Cohen and Ginsberg. What ?

Come here, Lionel.

Come here.

Come on, come on. One time. Forget it.

Come on, daddy ! Oh, no !

Come on, daddy.

Come on, Edith. Who are they from ?

Come on, mom. I'll help you with dinner.

Come on. The last pickup is 4:30. We'll be late.

Come on. This is it. The knockout.

Come on. You don't believe me ? It's a fact. Look it up.

Come to think of it, what are you doin' here ?

Come to think of it, when your father was visiting last year, wasn't his name Davey

Confirms that our upper and lower back are in spasm...

Couple of years. Now, you're a man of the world.

Cut that out, Edith !

Daddy, I'd like you to meet my friend, Jerry woodner.

Daddy, mom, could you settle down ? Now, let's just eat.

Daddy, there isn't a major city in this country..

Daddy, will you please stop it.

Daddy, you stop that. Roger's not a strange little birdie.

David and Sarah two names right out of the Bible.

Dear Mr. president,

Dear Mr. president,

Dear Mr. president, your honor, sir,

Di yo yo

Did either of youse two jiggle ?

Did she, Archie ? Did your mother go to high school ?

Did you hear that, Edith ? You know who they're bringing around here for lunch ?

Did you jiggle ? What ?

Did you know that, Edith, that we had a pair of atheists under this roof ?

Dingbat.

Discuss pollution and ecology on channel 13.

Discuss. Why with you has always everything gotta be like a meetin' ?

Do they tell you, at the bottom of the pages, how to bury your husband ?

Do you believe him ?

Do you do any bobsleddin' over there ?

Do you know what he means, ma ? No.

Do you think it's from the accident ? Maybe you got a whiplash.

Do you think that Mr. Nixon would let tricia drink it ?

Does he use words like that very often ? Now and then.

Don't be silly. I loved it. It was like reliving the whole experience.

Don't give me that.

Don't he talk good, Edith ? Huh ?

Don't hurt yourself, dad. That's a trick chair !

Don't make him out no specialist.

Don't touch nothin' !

Don't worry. They went for a long walk.

Dye. Give me somethin' to take the taste out of my mouth.

Edith ! Yeah ?

Edith, come over here. I need some help. I'm searching for a word.

Edith, give the sister a generous contribution.

Edith, give the sister a generous contribution.

Edith, help me to the chair, will ya.

Edith, I can't write to the President of the United States unless I'm gonna do it right.

Edith, I said stifle yourself.

Edith, I told you I mean, Sunday is a day of peace and rest.

Edith, I told you to stifle yourself !

Edith, just a minute. Before you do, come over here.

Edith, just a minute. Before you do, come over here.

Edith, our personal stationery.

Edith, please.

Edith, stay the hell out of this !

Edith, stifle yourself. The language he used.

Edith, this is gonna be good. You know that ?

Edith, uh, get me our embossed personal stationery.

Edith, what do you think we oughta do ?

Edith, will you stifle. Archie, we're all hungry.

Edith.

Eight years ago he was a civilian,

England is a fag country.

Every American ought to write to his president.

Every guy and his brother's on welfare, which is the same as pickin' my pocket.

Every Saturday. God forbid one week you do it on a Friday.

Every time the church has a charity drive,

Every time you sit down in one of them things, the mystery's over.

Everybody knows they go around in a mob.

Exactly.

Except last week, remember ? Mike and Gloria went out to dinner.

Except thank you, sweetheart.

Exceptin' the best."

Excuse me, will you, Mike. Hey, Steve !

Excuse me, young lady. You just happen to be sitting here.

Exhausting, incredible experience !

Fabulous ! Mike, it was the most super trip.

Feinstein. Feinstein. Feinberg.

Fifteen bucks. Guaranteed to last me a lifetime.

Fighting is not my cup of tea, sir.

First draft.

For heaven's sake, that was 22 years ago.

For instance, uh, did he hunt ?

For me ? Oh, my goodness !

For me, no. The Duke, yeah.

For ten bucks, some of these doctors'll tell you anything you want to hear.

For the St. januarius underprivileged children's hospital.

For their own anniversary ?

For today, for their 22nd anniversary,

For you, it's like buildin' the pyramids.

Forget it. It's "irrevelant."

Forty years I been eatin' it, and I'm as good shape today as the day I was born.

Four years before I even begin to make a living. It seems like forever.

From now on I wanna know what's in everything I buy.

From the same house.

Garbage is not exactly what I had in mind. Come here.

Gee, I wonder who it's from.

Gee, mom. Would you tell him it's normal ?

Gee, that's a good idea.

Germane. Aw, listen, Emily post.

Get a load of this. My son in law and his pal tinkerbell.

Get after 'im.

Get him a rabinowitz.

Get off it, huh, guy ? Arch.

Get out of the way, Edith.

Get outta here ! Have it your own way, arch.

Get your feet off that furniture !

Gimme the chair !

Girls with skirts up to here, guys with hair down to there.

Give me over the ketchup there.

Give me some with a pinch of milk on top.

Give me that letter ! It's my letter ! Oh, no !

Give me the letter ! You're not gettin' this. No, no !

Gloria ! Hey, Mike, hi.

Gloria and Mike, they've made us a brunch.

Gloria, I found these with the groceries.

Gloria, I hurried back.

Gloria, this was a delicious lunch. Oh, thank you, Roger.

Gloria, we have been living with your folks since we're married.

Gloria, you married the laziest white man I ever seen.

Gloria's boilin' one of Mike's shirts.

Go ahead, Edith. Now, answer the girl.

Go ahead. Come on. You're nuts. All right.

Go on, answer the bell. Let me in there.

Go on, Mr. rabinowitz. Help yourself to some wine. That's Morgan David.

God could punish you for that.

Good afternoon. Oh, good afternoon, sister.

Good thing I wasn't drivin' one of them foreign jobs.

Good to see you again, kid. Here, sit down.

Good. And I wanna watch football highlights on channel 2.

Good. Let's go mail 'em. Oh, no, you don't.

Good. You can take out the garbage.

Got more brains in his little finger...

Great. You know something, arch ?

Guts, guns the things that separate the sexes, you know what I mean ?

Half a sermon was plenty.

Hardly admissible.

He actually thinks because they're ******* they're smarter, shrewder.

He already lost one.

He always eats better when he's upset.

He certainly did. [ Doorbell rings ]

He didn't do anything. Get over here and watch me.

He got that from his forefathers when he was runnin' through the jungle.

He handles accidents. Peter gurney ? No, no, no.

He helps himself to coffee, then he turns the handle around the other way.

He is married to my only daughter.

He likes to hear me say, "I'm gon' be a 'lectrical engineer."

He never heard me.

He only comes in for a drink once in a while on his way home.

He said all I wanted to hear.

He was selling peace stickers there in piccadilly circus.

He'd lay down his life for the Duke.

He'll be here any minute. You want people to think you live in a pig's eye ?

He's a pansy. I don't know.

He's always late, except after coffee in the morning.

He's at church. Good.

He's friendly enough. Really ?

He's gonna take the present, get some fresh cut flowers and deliver them together,

He's got no brains, no ambition.

He's got you there, Archie. Yeah, at the discount house.

He's just as good as me.

He's makin' out like I don't like the hebes.

He's off the ground again.

He's right, arch. Huh ?

He's right.

He's searching for a word.

He's the best there is when it comes to blood.

He's their friend, Archie. Listen, Edith.

Hear that ? The tree of learnin'.

Heh ?

Help us, will ya. Go to work.

Here are the hors d'oeuvres. Oh.

Here it comes ! Bang ! Pow ! [ Shouting ]

Here we are. We have orange juice in here, then go in there for brunch.

Here you are, Lionel. Have everything cleaned and pressed, okay ?

Here you go, guys. Thanks. Uh, let me ask you somethin' there.

Here you go. Three steps back. Right.

Here, I got a good idea. You come over here. Come here.

Here. Here's your rice pudding.

Here. I found an old box of crunchies.

Here. I made us some little hot toddies.

Here's the old standby. Big Ben.

Here's your bicarb. Oh, yeah.

Hey, Archie, you never finished the story about the accident.

Hey, do you have to always be doin' that ?

Hey, don't leave, Mr. rabinowitz.

Hey, Edith, let me have some beer in here.

Hey, Edith, where's supper, huh ?

Hey, kelcy, let me have a pitcherful there, will ya.

Hey, Lionel. Come on in. How's it goin' ?

Hey, Mike, uh, come here a minute, will ya. What ?

Hey, Mike. Hey, you guys. How ya doin' ?

Hey, mom, when's daddy coming home ?

Hey, Mr. rabinowitz, where you goin' ?

Hey, put them glasses over here. I wanna go with you once more.

Hey, rog. Hi, Mr. bunker.

Hey, see you. Yeah.

Hey, speakin' about imports,

Hey, Steve. Kelcy, I gotta go.

Hey, uh, where's your father in law ?

Hey, wanna watch the fights, Mike ? No, thanks.

Hey, you know what they got on at 3:00, channel 9 ?

Hey, you. Get away from that tv set.

Hey.

Hey. Didn't make it.

Hi, Lionel. Hi, folks.

Hi, sister. I bet you was wonderin' what I was doing at the table.

Hi. I'm back. It's about time.

Him and me used to be close buddies.

His camera store is just down the street here.

His own mother wasn't a ******* lawyer.

His pal Roger is as queer as a four dollar bill, and he knows it.

Hiya, Lionel. How you doin', everybody ?

Hiya, Lionel. You want some rice puddin' ?

Hold it ! Hold it !

How am I gonna tell 'em we ain't home if I'm standin' there talkin' to 'em ?

How come you got this guy Whitney fitzroy the fourth workin' for ya ?

How could you be dying ? You ain't seen a doctor yet.

How else do I get to become an electrical engineer ?

How long you know this, uh, this kid Roger that was in with Mike ?

How long you known me ? Ten, twelve years ? Yeah

How much more do you expect me to do with you lickin' and bangin' over there ?

How they make products with harmful things in 'em.

How's it goin', Mike ? Hey, Lionel.

Huh ? Very semitic gesture.

I

I no, uh

I accept that it's fresh perked !

I agree with him that they're smarter and shrewder,

I agree with that.

I ain't seen an anniversary gift from you since the first year.

I ain't the brightest guy in the world.

I always like to think about everybody standin' there in them.

I am not *******. Yes, sir, Mr. bunker.

I am, well, you might say the token gentile.

I appreciate your extraordinary faith...

I assume, since this is the Archie bunker residence, that you are the bunker family.

I been aware of that for some time.

I been everywhere where the grass grows green.

I can even set my watch by how long it takes you to belch after a bicarb.

I can mail my letter today, it'll get to Washington by Monday.

I can only hope that your confidence in me is well founded.

I can take I know. You can take a joke with the best of them.

I can't believe it. Look, my hands are shaking.

I can't hardly believe it.

I couldn't do that. Men can't do that. Isn't that wild ?

I demand to know the contents of that letter. It's between Nixon and me.

I didn't have no million people marchin' and protestin' to get me my job.

I didn't have to hustle with one arm and one leg neither. So what ?

I didn't hear the substance, but the tone tells me to set this down easy,

I didn't jiggle. I thought you jiggled, daddy.

I didn't know you was *******.

I didn't think you was gonna wind up in college learnin' how to be a subversive.

I didn't write about a rash.

I don't care what you call it. It's still arguing.

I don't have to learn it from no millionaire actor who's got nothin' better to do...

I don't know where he gets these brainstorms,

I don't like it medium. I like it well.

I don't read the articles. Just the bottom of the pages.

I don't see the difference. That's 'cause you're a dingbat.

I don't think she even went to high school.

I don't think that's an answer.

I don't think there's one thing about us you agree with.

I don't wanna hear about the articles !

I don't want no more arguments.

I gave at the office

I got no problem with peanuts.

I got two more, but one's yellow with stripes, the other's purple with checks.

I gotta get back to work.

I gotta say, "my husband don't have any old clothes." So ?

I guess that we can get right down to business.

I heard of all them guys.

I heard you. But it's fresh perked.

I hope the kids are out

I just came from there. It's right out front. It's just a little dent.

I just don't think it's right, Archie.

I just got back from Europe, and I wanted you to know I got some beautiful shots.

I just wouldn't want my place...

I knew you'd cop out, daddy.

I know I promised, but I gotta say this.

I know something that'd shock you, daddy. I bet you can't do this thing.

I know the real article when I see one, Mr. rabinowitz.

I know this. Their whole society is based on a kind of a "fagdom."

I know what Dr. feinberg said.

I know what's bothering you.

I know you real good. Good, good.

I know, but bachelors are they're always actin' kinda private.

I know, but channel 13 is rerunning that special on pollution with Jack lemmon.

I know, but she was inside,

I like to think about who they are...

I love that beginning.

I love those combinations. Hey, hey ! Take it easy there !

I made up a name like roundtree cumberbatch ? Yeah. Yeah.

I make a livin'.

I mean probably I did.

I mean to say the president, after all, is only a man.

I mean, absolutely nothin'. Not till the wedding night.

I mean, look at you look at come on, will ya, you big clown, you !

I mean, not only could he lift that chair,

I mean, some of them, they ain't nothin' but sheer "pornograbby."

I mean, they must have things like skiin' there, and bobsleddin'.

I mean, you bachelors, you got 'em comin' and goin' like runnin' water, huh ?

I meant, are you comfortable in your chair ?

I missed it. The play of the week.

I musta been going forward. Not according to our witnesses.

I need real ink. Whatever happened to my waterman ?

I never said a guy who wears glasses is a queer.

I never said your black beauties was lazy.

I only hope Mr. Nixon reads 'em that way.

I put ? Small dent ?

I put a pinch of milk on top.

I read that in a fortune cookie once.

I remember.

I said it was different, that's all,

I stopped in the gents' room the other day.

I suppose the black man has had the same opportunity in this country as you.

I suppose, uh I suppose you're wondering why Mr. sol rabinowitz didn't come.

I think it was the words

I think it's beautiful that Michael wants to help the underprivileged.

I think it's important that we learn about our polluted environment.

I think it's just wonderful. It's like a whole new life opened up for 'em.

I think Mr. Nixon is gonna love this.

I think we oughta eat.

I think we'd better go jiggle

I thought I was in the wrong toilet.

I thought it was a Roman number. [ Chuckles ]

I thought it was gonna be for a year while you learned a trade or somethin'.

I thought maybe he was a little, uh

I thought we'd give 'em all our business.

I thought you said a guy couldn't do that ! I'm never gonna trust youse two again !

I thought you said she plowed right into you wham !

I told munson I'd get him an estimate on his cab... Three, four, five, six,

I told ya, I work with a couple of ****.

I understand you used his cab today and put a small dent in it.

I used to have an Uncle who'd put an olive on every finger of his hand.

I used to know a whole flock of them in the old neighborhood.

I wanna ask your opinion on somethin'.

I wanna know what you meant by "what God ?" It's nothin', Archie.

I wanna tell you somethin' about yourself.

I want everything ready for when the folks get back from church.

I want to ask you some things. Sure.

I want to take a look at this enchantin' young person.

I want us to watch Jack lemmon and a group of famous scientists...

I was gonna say good evening. Oh, skip it, will ya. Skip it.

I was just givin' you a chance to work up an appetite.

I was just makin' my rounds, pickin' up the cleaning.

I was writin' a letter to the president of the United States...

I wasn't. Now, if you'll

I'd be pushin' up the daisies now.

I'll bet it's a hallmark.

I'll bring you a can.

I'll come Thursday and look at it. Good to see you.

I'll get it.

I'll tell you somethin', wise guy.

I'll tell you something else, wise guy.

I'll tell you something else, wise guy.

I'll tell you the cause of it these sob sisters like your reverend feltcher...

I'll tell you what I'll do I think I'll come over here and sit right next to Mr. bunker.

I'll tell you where this guy is sensitive, Lionel right in his tuckus.

I'm glad you weren't hurt. What do you mean, "what a tribe" ?

I'm glad you're here, Lionel.

I'm gonna do the whole thing. Go ahead.

I'm gonna try using one.

I'm not gonna quarrel with ya, Archie

I'm not gonna stay in this house another minute to see my husband insulted like that !

I'm not gonna throw away nine years of friendship over a little thing like that.

I'm not knockin' it. I think you're a marvel.

I'm not prejudiced.

I'm not sure.

I'm Polish. I'm proud of it.

I'm sick and tired of your Polish jokes.

I'm Solomon rabinowitz, representing the injured party, Mr. bunker.

I'm starving. What time's himself comin' home ?

I'm studying six hours, I'm in class six hours. Going to college is hard work.

I'm tellin' you, Archie, them kids don't leave this house...

I'm the attorney for Mrs. greenspan. Well, come in.

I'm too nervous. It's to the president.

I've been making rice pudding for 22 years,

I've got too much on my mind

I've heard you say it a hundred times, Archie the government works for me.

I've learned to expect nothin' but aggravation from you anyhow.

If "black beauties" is kosher with them, it's kosher with me.

If a man can't do it, I would imagine your friend Roger bell can.

If anybody mails these, it's gonna be me. Why don't we both go ?

If he wants to unpollute somethin',

If I can't be good, I'll be careful.

If I need any help, Michael can do it.

If it's freedom from me you're inferrin' there,

If she can do it, there's a trick to it, and I ain't interested.

If she leaves here, she'll be dead inside a year.

If that ain't underprivileged, I don't know what is.

If they think you own a plumbing company.

If they're good lawyers, for all I care they could be chinks.

If we get three and a half books, I can buy that bathroom scale.

If you correct me one more time okay, okay.

If you don't like what I do, what do you bring me there for ?

If you hurt your back.

If you wanna joke about it, all right, but come on.

If you wasn't livin' off of me without a pot to peel a potato in.

If you're gonna answer your questions as well as ask them, what do you need us for ?

If you're talkin' about a black man, would you call him that, huh ?

If your spicks and your spades want their rightful share of the American dream,

Imagine, two letters to the president...

In a way, we were just talking about you.

In all that time, did I ever mention a woman ?

In fact, it was an absolutely stunning,

In many countries england, for instance there is a law...

In my day, we was able to keep certain things...

In the ability of an older and sometimes faltering counselor at law.

In the proper "suspective."

Incredible. It's amazing. I can't believe

Irrelevant. Whatever.

Is a flower ?

Is anybody talkin' to you ?

Is he is he ma.

Is he kidding ?

Is he straight ? Oh, no

Is in the constitution and in the declaration of independence.

Is that all ? Don't you wanna know who it's from ?

Is that correct ?

Is that what Mike thinks of Roger ?

Is that what you said to him in that letter ? Give me that.

Is what makes your kids' shoes cost so much.

Isn't that sweet, Michael ? She feels it in her heart.

It ain't German to the conversation.

It all comes to the same thing,

It looks like a long, long siege ahead.

It must be lastin' somebody else's lifetime. We got ballpoint pens.

It must've been a different nun. You do look alike.

It seals it in, that's what it does.

It starts, of course, with a highly proper...

It was a gift from that no neck cousin of yours works for w.T. Grant.

It was all about what's good with America. It was all about John Wayne.

It was at the bottom of a page.

It was rougher, it was tougher. It was real guts football, huh ?

It was Sarah. Yeah, my mother's name was Sarah. So what ?

It was sweet of you to come over today and share your trip with us.

It won't do him no harm, neither.

It'd go good with their lunch.

It'll help wash down the pills.

It'll wharf your whole personality.

It's it's it ain't only him.

It's a dumb gag. Where did you get it ?

It's a ten minute walk. We got time to spare. Not now, Michael.

It's a yiddish word. It means

It's all your fault ! You nearly burnt the hand off me !

It's as if she was a hamburger.

It's been a gay, gay lark together."

It's clam dip. Clam dip ?

It's classy. It's different. It's quiet. Where'd you get it ?

It's different, isn't it ? An anniversary brunch.

It's fresh perked, though. Okay, it's fresh perked, but it tastes like instant.

It's his whole generation. Kelcy, bring us a couple of beers over here.

It's inherited

It's just their systems is geared a little slower than the rest of us, that's all.

It's like Gloria said. I wrote about a lot of things

It's nicer than when he called 'em "coons."

It's not a trick. It's not a trick.

It's not like you wrote the thing. No, I didn't write it.

It's one little thing more. It's not gonna hurt.

It's only a block. We'll all go.

It's the meat. It's not done enough.

It's the same chair and the same wall. One, two, three.

It's the wrong image, arch.

It's tough enough writin' a letter to the top man in the whole free world,

It's wonderful to be involved.

Jack dempsey, Joe Louis, rocky marciano all of 'em.

Jeez, I can't even say it to you, Steve.

Jeez, you know, I never figured you for no bow and arrow.

*******.

Jump over that and read the new stuff !

Just because I called the turn on your friend Roger bell ?

Just because I called the turn on your friend Roger bell ?

Just don't blow in it. It'll go right through.

Just imagine.

Just let me see if I can walk all alone. Look out.

Just like he inherited inflation and integration and pollution.

Just neighborhoods, families.

Just this once, can't you share a little ? Huh ?

Just to make it more romantic.

Just watch me. Now go on to the door.

Keep the hands up. That a boy. Feint, jab.

Kelcy, are you trying to tell me that Steve is

Ketchup on eggs ? Daddy, really.

Know what I mean ? Huh ?

Know what they used to call him ? Uh uh.

Kowalcyzk. No, that don't sound good.

Lace hankies. Look, Gloria.

Last week's cleaning all ready. Gee, thanks.

Leanin' on them skinny umbrellas like this here ?

Leave me alone. I'm watchin' the fights here.

Let 'em get out there and hustle for it just like I done.

Let her open her gift first.

Let him unpollute the movies all them nudies.

Let me get even. One more time. Get it up there.

Let me get started. You go over there and finish pastin' your tradin' stamps.

Let me help you. Wait till you see what I got here.

Let me take your coat. Thank you very much.

Let me tell you somethin', wise guy

Let me tell you, Sonny boy, the same thought crosses my mind at least once a day.

Let me tell youse two somethin'.

Let me try you once with the arm. Have another beer.

Let's not start any of that again, huh ?

Let's see here.

Let's take a look at those pictures. Let me see what you got.

Like Roy Wilkins, uh, Whitney young, uh, James Baldwin.

Like us ? I think we'd better eat now.

Lionel ? Why ? He's fixing the portable tv for dad.

Lionel's folks have opened up a cleaning store on northern boulevard.

Listen to this guy, Edith.

Listen to this guy. You only played two seasons.

Listen, Archie, you make one more crack about Roger

Listen, don't be a scared of this guy.

Listen, get me the yellow pages.

Listen, guys, all I'm sayin' is the right to strike...

Listen, if he wants to help the underprivileged, let him start with himself.

Listen, little girl, you just go on and mind your own beeswax.

Listen, Mr. big liberal, you brought up their religion, not me.

Listen, she hit me hard.

Listen, that's the trouble with this country today.

Listen. This ain't england.

Lochman, shapiro and stone "

Lochman, shapiro and stone.

Look at that expression !

Look at that. See the way he uses his hands when he argues ?

Look at this stationery. "Hercules plumbing" ?

Look at your shoulders and all that.

Look in the paper. They do it all the time Nixon this, Nixon that.

Look, Archie.

Look, I don't wanna make no world war III out of this.

Look, it's 4:00.

Maybe it'll get to the president faster...

Maybe people don't, but I do, and I ain't no yid.

Maybe takin' a speck out of her eye.

Maybe the sister could help you !

Maybe things wouldn't grow there.