The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air - Season 3 Edit

A judge named Carl.

A little lower, Geoffrey.

A man is dead here, people.

A mansion with a pool, a tennis court..

A need to...

A sandblaster is not going to help, man.

A Sir Mix A Lot video and Roscoe's Chicken and Waffles.

A somewhat fond memory of Carl Robertson.

Actually, I was talking to the car, Officer.

Actually, sir, I have an impacted wisdom tooth...

All right, look y'all, this is a classic case of divide and conquer.

All right, look, I thought about it, but...

All right, you got that. Damn!

All right.

Almost.

Also known as guaranteed action night.

Amen, sister

And a toilet that flushes without using a coat hanger.

And an afro the size of West Philly is drawing attention to himself?

And another thing:

And Daddy.

And don't get involved in politics until you're a big boy.

And for you, sir, E/f magazine...

And for your information, dinner comes first.

And he loved her with his whole heart and soul.

And he wanted her just for her body, right?

And hell is like the Valley.

And I don't appreciate the influence you're having on your cousin Ashley.

And I fail to believe that the world can profit from a man's death.

And I think each and every one of you should be really ashamed of yourselves.

And I, apparently, was talking to myself.

And I'll tell you another thing, if you don't like it, man, you can drop dead.

And I'm going to that funeral. And you're all going with me.

And it would be all my fault.

And Judge Robertson taking the old dirt nap...

And may I say that if you go with our firm...

And now, booty awaits me.

And one of the guys at school just offered me some stuff...

And right next to him lived the prettiest little honey you ever seen in your life.

And run a bookmaking operation out of his chambers.

And sanded down the square part.

And Sassy magazine.

And Sissy magazine.

And so darn quickly. How does it feel?

And the race for Superior Court Judge is neck and neck.

And the right endorsement could swing it to Dad.

And then Carlton...

And then I went to therapy.

And there's more where that come from, chump.

And there's the loser now!

And this is his hair.

And to this day I just thank God I had my two headed coin...

And what are you looking at, Whitey?

And when it came time for him to pay me...

And who are you?

And worry this family half to death

And you don't think vitamin E is strong enough

And, boarding school's not so bad, is it, Geoffrey?

And, for you, sir..

And, Philip, how come we don't ever go nowhere?

And, sorry, no ice cream sandwiches.

And, who are you?

And, you can call me Whitey.

And, you know, basketball and Cindy...

And, you know, my job and Cindy...

Anybody with any recollection of him at all.

Anyone with...

Anyway, I'm sorry I even mentioned Switzerland.

Anyway, look, I just want you to know how grateful your aunt and I are.

Ape magazine...

Are my kids

As a matter of fact, I think this is the one and only time.

Ashley, go upstairs and change right now.

Ashley, what are you doing out of bed?

Ashley, what are you wearing?

Ashley, you know I'd never hurt you, right?

Ashley, you take out the garbage.

At least my uncle stands for something.

At least take off that ridiculous hat.

At this point, anything cou/d tip the ba/ance.

Attack him until he defends himself. Only then will he start to feel better.

Back it up.

Banks residence.

Banks wants to empty the prisons, fill our streets with hoodlums..

Because it goes against everything I stand for.

Because the nasty dude cheated. He had a two headed coin.

Better.

Between me wearing this, and you in the sixties?

Big date this weekend?

Boy, as long as you live in my house, you will do what I say.

Boy, it's good to be home.

But after what you did, I think I'll give it to you now.

But Dad, aren't some of those lies?

But do you think you can get me a nurse without a record?

But he was more. So much more.

But I was making a cultural statement.

But I was talking about the election.

But I'm saying, why would you want to? Look how good you turned out.

But if that little man hadn't died I would have killed him myself.

But now I'm clean and sober.

But see, on the other side of that girl lived this little, filthy McRotten dude...

But that certainly wasn't applesauce we pumped out of his stomach

But that's just a little too close to your mouth, you know what I mean?

But this burning the candle at both ends is dumb, dumb, dumb.

But those are the harsh realities of the cruel world in which we habitate

But we will have to keep you here in the Chemical Dependency Unit overnight.

But why did you do it?

But you don't think a 6'3", 250 pound black dude..

But, I like it. And if I don't wear it, it'll hurt Will's feelings.

But, look, I had basketball practice, and school, and I had work and everything.

But, now correct me if I'm wrong...

But, these..

But, you know...

By such a large margin.

Call me Whitey.

Calls heads, flips the coin...

Can I have one, Daddy?

Can't we at least move me to another part of the hospital?

Carl Robertson.

Carl...

Carlton, are you by any chance an idiot?

Carlton, did you ever think about taking..

Carlton, honey, don't you have something to say to Will?

Carlton, honey, they're all lies.

Carlton, honey, what happened?

Carlton, I got some bad news.

Carlton, I'm sorry you had such a rough night.

Carlton, listen. Something terrible has happened, man.

Carlton, man, I am not a killer

Carlton, take out the trash, honey.

Carlton, vitamin E is not going to help, man.

Carlton, we're eating.

Carlton, why are you calling Dan Quayle?

Carlton, you cannot take unidentified pills.

Carlton, you must grow.

Carlton, you were somebody else. Man, you all right?

Carlton, you were somebody else. Man, you all right?

Carlton, you're at a hospital.

Carlton, you're just wasting your time, man.

Carlton.

Carlton. Carlton Banks.

Chill, chill!

Cindy. Cindy. Cindy.

Come here.

Come here. Come here

Come on y'all. It's about all of us.

Come on, Hil, please, at least kiss him first.

Come on, man, I ain't taking no drugs.

Come on, man, if I told you to jump off a bridge, would you do it?

Come on, now, you gotta stop blaming yourself, Will

Come on, Uncle Phil, don't you even worry about it.

Come on, Uncle Phil, I need to keep in touch with my tasties.

Come on, Uncle Phil, what's wrong?

Come on, we'll be home early.

Come on, Will, don't hold out on me. Y ou have any or not?

Come on, Will, you gotta help me. This could be the biggest night of my life.

Comfy?

Company with breasts.

Could I get it for you?

Could you get us some clean linen for that bed?

Crimina/s support Phi/ip Banks. Shou/d you?

D pay

Dad knows I'm going to y ale

Daddy, I need $500.

Daddy, I need $500.

Daddy, now, you know how much I love you.

Daddy, that's how all the brothers are dressing in Philly.

Daddy, we couldn't find Will anywhere.

Damn!

Damn! Uncle Phil, I got your back.

Dan Quayle, please.

Dang, I thought I was having a bad hair day.

Dang, your toilet broke, too?

Defeat Philip Banks, the criminal's choice for Superior Court Judge.

Did he not dream?

Do I look like Roc?

Do you think everybody's gonna think I'm a drug dealer?

Do you think that just because there are a lot of people around...

Do you think that you can manipulate me with sex?

Does James Brown have a perm?

Don't get him mad, Mom.

Don't joke about that, Will.

Don't tell me I can't stay at your crib. We supposed to be boys.

Don't try to cheer me up, Vivian.

Don't you even worry about me, girl. I'm gonna be all right.

E

Early tomorrow morning.

Escorted by a police officer, you think something's wrong.

Even though I was feeling insecure before, I realized it doesn't matter, anyway...

Every time I have a big date I get a big pimple.

Everyone does, on account of my white hair

Everyone, I want to thank you for your support.

Everything you said in your campaign was a lie

Excuse me, Miss Irene, that's such a pretty name. Listen...

Excuse me?

Excuse me?

Express myself, too

Feeling pretty good

For 20 years.

For inviting me to the inauguration.

For you, Se/f magazine...

Geoffrey went to boarding school. Tell her, Geoffrey.

Geoffrey?

Get him!

Get rid of that thing.

Get rid of the hair, get rid of the clothes, and give me the beeper.

Girl, anybody ever told you that you got the...

Girl, don't hate me 'cause I'm beautiful.

Go, Carlton. Go, Carlton. Go, Carlton

God, if you let Carlton be okay..

Good

Good morning, Geoffrey. Isn't it a glorious day?

Good morning, Uncle Phil. Here's your lunch.

Good morning, Will.

Good night.

Good.

Gracias.

Guess a lot of your buddies wearing suits like this now, huh?

Guess the cat's got its tongue.

He called Immigration on me.

He hired me to replant his garden.

He like begging, he like, Philip Banks, kick my butt.

He never had what it takes and he never will

He rolled into the street.

He was a judge.

He wasn't a very heavy man.

He wasn't a young man, he didn't take very good care of himself.

He's got my vote.

He's got you there, big guy.

He's not a bad influence on me, Daddy.

He's not gonna find out.

Hell, I've been from y ale to jail, and from Park Avenue to park bench...

Hello, is President Bush there?

Hello, is Vanna there?

Hello, Whitey.

Hello?

Hello?

Hello. Welcome to our home.

Her head's a little swollen, hence the hat.

Here you are, Master William, maybe this'll help.

Hey, but at least your face cleared up.

Hey, Carlton, look, I'm sorry, man.

Hey, girl, what's up?

Hey, guys.

Hey, it was worth it. We got the luggage.

Hey, look, any chance of you letting me balance this book on your head?

Hey, look. Y'all mind if I talk to Carlton for a second?

Hey, mail call!

Hey, man, don't you even worry about me. I'm gonna be there

Hey, stop. Come on, one more picture.

Hey, Will, why don't you sit down and eat?

Hey, Will. Y ou wanna carpool to work again after practice?

Hey, yo, I'm telling you, this is gonna be the most exciting night of our lives.

Hey, you know I was gonna put the waffles up there...

Hi, Aunt Viv

Hi, Will

Hil, you should really consider expanding your vocabulary a little.

Hilary, honey, if it's for the barbecue we're catering this afternoon...

Hilary, you have just seen your father suffer a humiliating defeat.

Hilary, you know that I would never...

His tasties, Daddy

Hold it, hold it, hold it.

Hold on a minute.

Hold up here a minute. I'm sorry, Uncle Phil.

Honey, I don't think we can both fit in that bed.

Hope you never get mad at me.

How about "come in," man? I need a place to crash.

How about I'm going home?

How are you doing, baby?

How can they get away with that?

How could you be so stupid?

How could you do such a thing?

How much further?

How shall I put this?

Hurt a fly. We know.

I am just trying to save you from going through the same hassles...

I beg your pardon?

I can't believe the trouble you've caused this family

I can't even believe you thought about it.

I can't take this, Uncle Phil.

I did it last week, it's the Terminator's turn.

I did not throw him into the street.

I didn't even know if I was going to take them.

I didn't get much sleep last night with all that kicking.

I do?

I don't always wear shower shoes at the gym.

I don't know where Carlton would be right now.

I don't know, Carlton, maybe if you shaved your head bald..

I don't know, Uncle Phil, you might be able to get one little twist right here...

I don't know. I think I was still high.

I don't really think that Stacy's your type, Uncle Phil.

I don't think you understand

I don't want to go to Princeton.

I feel great.

I feel terrible.

I feel terrible.

I figured it out, Will. I'm gonna get Dad what he always wanted.

I guess he's got that kind of natural speed thing going.

I guess he's got that kind of natural speed thing going.

I hate L.A.

I hate to admit it, but I guess you have a point

I have a mind of my own.

I have faith in L.A. That L.A. Will have faith in me.

I have made my decision.

I heard you the first time.

I just feel so guilty, Aunt Viv.

I just got back this morning, man.

I just hope the Willster's still breathing.

I just wanna congratulate you on a campaign well fought, sir.

I just want to thank Bill and Hillary Clinton...

I knew Carl, biblically.

I know Carl changed over the years but the man was my mentor.

I know, Carlton. I just wish there was something else I could do.

I know, Uncle Phil, I mean...

I know, Uncle Phil. Somebody gave them to me at school.

I know.

I know.

I like him. Try and help him to stick around.

I love you, man. I never meant to hurt you.

I mean, 'cause I wouldn't feel like a gentleman...

I mean, between my school work and Cindy...

I mean, did he not feel pain when he was hurt?

I mean, did he not shiver when he was cold?

I mean, does he look like a drug addict?

I mean, he was only human, but yes, he was human.

I mean, I didn't mean for Carlton to take them.

I mean, I had basketball practice, and I had finals, and everything...

I mean, I just got finished losing an election to the man...

I mean, I'm not totally insensitive.

I mean, it's not like you got a bad haircut.

I mean, look, we're young adults here.

I mean, the kind of drugs that help you stay up.

I mean, we have a right to our own opinions.

I mean, why did you get more votes, sir?

I mean, you gotta believe me. I didn't mean to hurt him.

I mean, you're my homey, and I almost took you out.

I need some vitamin E. I should have seen it coming. It never fails.

I need to know where you stand on the issues.

I never had a dog, man, so...

I never liked Will, anyway.

I never thought losing my virginity would be this painful.

I swear I'll never make fun of him again.

I think I must have been very bad in a previous life.

I think not.

I think this is our youngest daughter, Ashley

I think we should leave that up to the Supreme Court

I think we're all damn lucky Hilary has a job.

I think you should take that back, man.

I thought I'd get my luggage faster.

I told him, "y ou can't accept me for me, I'm out of here."

I told the last person that asked me that question:

I walked 10 miles and took four buses to get here, now open this door.

I want to know when you had a man in the Jacuzzi.

I was gonna save it for graduation...

I was minding my damn business eating some fruit.

I was minding my damn business eating some fruit.

I was talking to Will.

I would do anything for you, right?

I would, Aunt Viv, but I wouldn't want to make all your guests jealous.

I'd like to welcome you to the memorial for...

I'll get the mail.

I'll go to Church every Sunday. I'll even give up women

I'll help you with those, ma'am.

I'll hold.

I'm about to get the endorsement that will lock up Dad's appointment.

I'm going to clinch the election by getting an influential person to endorse him.

I'm gonna base my campaign on the issues, not the dirt.

I'm gonna give the eulogy, Vivian.

I'm gonna go let Ashley and Hilary and Geoffrey know that he's all right.

I'm in a position to scratch his back if he'll scratch mine, capische?

I'm into whatever gets the job done.

I'm just glad I'll be sharing it with someone who cares about me so deeply.

I'm just here to make sure he dead.

I'm just waiting for the DJ to throw on something I like

I'm planning on staying up all night, you know...

I'm running an honest campaign.

I'm so confused.

I'm sorry, but that's standard procedure with all our substance abuse patients.

I'm sorry, folks, but this patient of ours has to get his rest.

I'm sorry, man.

I'm sorry, man.

I'm sorry, sweetheart

I'm sorry.

I'm talking about my date. She worships the ground I walk on

I'm terribly sorry, sir, I've looked everywhere.

I'm the dude that killed him.

I'm Vivian, Philip's wife.

I'm with Will, Dad.

I'm with you, my brother

I'm worried about Will.

I'm your uncle. I just try not to hurt you.

I've been gone all summer. Isn't there something else you'd like to say to me?

I've been saving that genteel pleasure to calm myself...

I've got a reputation to worry about. What if I want to run for a political office?

I've got to make some extra money for the prom.

If I could just forget it, just clear my mind for one minute.

If I made Cindy pay for my half, too.

If I sink to their level, I'm just as bad as they are.

If that's okay with you

If you do wear it, you'll never see 18.

In a dashiki..

In that case, I have an idea.

In which he used every dirty trick in the book.

Including your daughter, KFPB weather personality, Hilary Banks.

Is it just me or are my lips moving really, really fast? Wanna dance? Come on

Is there a problem, Officer?

It ain't really serious till his right eye start twitching.

It don't?

It was an accident. I thought they were vitamin E tablets. I got them from...

It was just an unfortunate set of circumstances that saw...

It was on a stretcher.

It was speed.

It'll be the best decision you ever made.

It's a pleasure to meet you both.

It's an honor, thank you, sir. Y es.

It's an old remedy passed down in my family from generation to generation.

It's just plain stupid.

It's like I need to keep in touch with my squaws, right?

It's like there ain't enough hours in the day.

It's nice to know that all my labors haven't gone unnoticed.

It's not for the barbecue. I just want $500.

It's personal.

It's time to go give the victor his due

Jazz, I'm getting Ionely

Jazz, if our friendship means anything to you, you'll open this door right now.

Jazz, if you don't let me stay here, I'm going to be out on the street, man.

Jazz! Jazz!

Jazz...

Judge Robertson

Judge Robertson has overwhe/ming/y defeated Phi/ip Banks.

Judge Robertson, to what do you attribute your reelection?

Just because you live in my house doesn't mean I can control you.

Just in case.

Just say you didn't inhale.

Just think of it as honeys on my hip, Uncle Phil, you know?

Keep the clothes, keep the hair and the beeper.

Knock yourself out.

Last thing I remember, I was doing the running man...

Later, Will.

Lest I get too giddy from scrubbing the john

Let's get the hell out of here

Let's just put this all behind us.

Let's just say this brings back old memories.

Let's listen in as he makes his concession speech

Lift!

Lift! Lift!

Lift! Lift!

Like what?

Like, I'm sorry for ruining your prom, and, thank you for saving my life?

Listen, somehow we're missing each other.

Listen, sweetie, the first time I came into this hospital...

Listening to Bruce Springsteen got the same effect on black people.

Longest years of my life.

Look at that. It's like you got her brainwashed.

Look, all I know is that somebody real close to me...

Look, and if there ain't nothing in there...

Look, I don't know. Look, check my locker, man.

Look, I know, Uncle Phil, that's all I've been thinking about.

Look, I think I know how to help Will.

Look, I'm probably the wrong person to be up here.

Look, Jazz, can you ask them to come back another time, please?

Look, Malcolm warned us about this.

Look, my father just lost an election.

Look, sorry, baby. All this running around is kind of catching up to me

Look, that's my private life.

Look, today it's my beeper, tomorrow it's going to be who you can date..

Look, Uncle Phil, I was just keeping them in case I needed them.

Look, Will, you're taking this way too seriously.

Look, Will...

Look, you gotta promise you're not gonna overreact.

Look, you wouldn't understand, man

Look...

Looks like the whole Jackson family could live in those pants.

Looks like you really blew it this time, huh, big guy?

Madam, I went to boarding school.

Man, welcome home. Later

Man, what are you talking about? It looks good to me.

Master Carlton, I have to take this tray up to your mother...

Maybe he could get more from a different environment.

Maybe I won't be in your house, then.

Maybe you should take a little time off from work.

Miss Cindy and Miss Vanessa

Mommy...

More after this.

Move it over here, Whitey.

Mr. Banks...

My breath ain't stinking, so I'm guessing them ain't Tic Tacs.

My hair is falling out, and I have a bunion the size of my fist.

My sister.

My son could have died because of you.

My uncle fights for what he believes in.

My uncle's three times the man you will ever be.

Never felt he cared about my needs.

Never felt I really got to know him...

Nice try

No wonder Willy Williams moved to LA.

No you won't, worm head.

No, baby, we gonna get down.

No, come on, Hil, we cool. Y ou know...

No, five old ladies attacked me for being mean to Willard.

No, I didn't, and I didn't think you was living like that, either.

No, I wish there was, Uncle Phil.

No, I'm gonna call you that...

No, it's kind of fly, actually. Check it out.

No, Jazz, it's my uncle, man. He kicking me all this static.

No, man, she's just looking for loose change.

No, man. I mean, well, yeah, but...

No, no, chill, no, watch.

No, no, no, that's not quite what I had in mind.

No, no, wait, wait, hold it. Check it out, check it out.

No, now it's not often that I get a chance to compliment you

No, shoot me from the other side. I've got a situation on my forehead.

No, that's all right. I don't think...

No, that's all right. No, really. Bye.

No, Will, I just want to thank you.

No.

No. I already have company.

Not available?

Not in recent memory has someone managed to lose a race...

Not no more, man.

Nothing clashes, and you never have to wait for a table.

Now be quiet

Now that that's settled, I'll go fire up the Jacuzzi.

Now that you mention it, yeah.

Now that's the jam. Tell me when he puts that on.

Now, everybody, put on your best faces.

Now, for me to vote for you in good conscience...

Now, I know this is prom night, but I still think we should set a curfew.

Now, I've been thinking. Y ou know, I have...

Now, see, to me heaven has to be like a cross between...

Now, what the hell are you doing...

Oh, Carlton, you were something else.

Oh, hi, honey

Oh, it's like that, right? Y ou're just gonna slam garbage at me.

Oh, look. It's the entertainment.

Oh, Lord, I don't know whether to dive under the table or do the running man.

Oh, my God, he's dead.

Oh, my God. Hey, Carlton. Carlton

Oh, my God. I'm a drug addict and a virgin!

Oh, no.

Oh, no. We're out of Mrs. Butterworth's.

Oh, really now?

Oh, really?

Oh, right. Just 'cause I come in the crib in the middle of the night...

Oh, thank God.

Oh, the car talks?

Oh, Will.

Okay, I'm sorry, you're absolutely right.

Okay, posse up.

Okay, smile.

Okay, well, I'm against plea bargaining and I'm for...

Okay.

Okay.

On a brighter note, I see you've brought your lovely family with you...

One of the other kids' lockers at school.

Or how to vote, or what college to go to.

Otherwise, you're going to be bunking with Mr. Couch.

Over the /ast 20 years, Judge Robertson has thrown over 6,000 bums in jai/.

Perhaps you should let George know...

Phi/ip Banks, none.

Philip, any chance of getting those flowers after the funeral?

Philip, how could you even suggest shipping Will off to some boarding school?

Philip, I'm serious. Do something.

Philip, that man is evil and senile

Philip, when Will gets here, please be nice.

Philip, why am I calling that man Whitey?

Philip, Will's been gone for seven hours now.

Philip, you know, I really hate to speak ill of the dead..

Please, enjoy the party.

Please.

Queen Latifah?

Quite right, sir. Y ou threw him on the lawn.

Rack 'em up.

Really? And what would that be? A buffet?

Right away, sir.

Right, and a chair for my wife.

Robertson and Banks are both po//ing 36%o.

Say, Phi/ip Banks, no thanks, on E/ection Day.

Saying a few words on behalf of the departed will be Philip Banks.

See how he be trying to play me, Fred?

See otherwise, you know, they get all frazzled and frantic and everything.

See, Carlton is not addicted to drugs. I mean, Carlton hates drugs.

See, it's like I can have a leg in one hand and a breast in the other.

See, look...

See, once upon a time there was this young boy that lived in Philly, right?

See, that's not fair. That's only 'cause you got them shoe lifts in today

See, you never made it past the dance floor.

Sex all the time, like dating Thumper.

Shame on me.

Shape magazine...

She just had a brain operation.

She said, No, flip a coin and the winner can be my boyfriend, right?

Shut up. Shut up. Shut up

Simple. Thanks to the Grim Reaper over here...

Since Will's been in Philly.

Sit down, Vivian.

Smith dribbles. He stops. He pops. He scores. The crowd goes wild!

Smog.

So could we. Come on, I'll race you to the Jacuzzi.

So on your way out would you mind taking out the garbage?

So one day, the two dudes was about to get it on, right?

So tell me, are you free for dinner tonight?

So the nasty dude snatch off into his pocket, right?

So what do you think, G?

So, as long as you keep the hair...

So, at this time I'd like to invite someone...

So, I can stay with you?

So, this story is about you, isn't it, Will?

So, you can express yourself any way you want to.

Somebody call a cop 'cause it has got to be...

Somebody call a cop 'cause this has...

Somebody call a cop, 'cause it got to be illegal to look that good.

Sorry about that, Uncle Phil. Man, it's like there's so much to do.

Sorry but, Uncle Phil, I ain't got no time. Oh, man.

Sorry, my brother...

Sorry, Philip.

Sorry.

Speaking of prisoners, let's talk about Will.

Stare at hers.

Switzerland.

Take no prisoners, Daddy

Technically, we not in the house.

Ten seconds, I knew you was full of it.

Thank God. I thought it was the neighbor's kids

Thank you

Thank you so much for bringing him home, Officer.

Thank you, sir.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thanks a lot for covering for me, man.

Thanks for the talk, big guy.

Thanks, Daddy.

Thanks, I'll try not to let it go to my head

That as Alternate Assistant Treasurer to the Bel Air Junior Republicans...

That I love a whole lot could be dead right now...

That I went through

That is the last time I buy sushi out of the trunk of a car

That was a joke, ma'am.

That was fun.

That would be Aisha

That's a little further away than we're used to.

That's because she's your mother and she loves you.

That's because you only got one squaw and you all never go nowhere.

That's between me, that man, and his video camera.

That's me. Chill, fellas. I got that right here.

That's more like it

That's not an excuse. There's never an excuse.

That's not funny

That's really touching...

That's right, and it took me 13 years to do it.

That's right, Uncle Phil.

That's Stacy again, sweating me.

That's such bulldoody.

The big, fat vein in Daddy's head is starting to throb

The biggest sap that ever lived. What a stooge.

The bill for Se/f, the bill for Shape, and the bill for Sassy magazines.

The car, it say, "move or I'll kill you," or something like that.

The clothes and the beeper...

The food sucks.

The girl came out and stopped them

The governor has to appoint someone...

The Governor just appointed me to Judge Robertson's seat!

The jerk sentenced me to six months in jail for a crime I didn't commit.

The kids aren't back from the airport with Will yet.

The least you can do is give me some vitamin E

The man has a tapeworm.

The man's idea of sweet talk was:

The nice guy didn't get the girl.

The nice guy lost the toss, and the girl, and it broke his heart.

The pepper's moving

The phone's dead, Will.

The pills that Carlton took, they were from my locker.

The prom's only three days away, and I got a pimple.

Then you gonna call me the other thing, and we're gonna be here fighting

There goes Philip Banks...

There isn't an ice cream sandwich left in this town.

These will help you stay awake. Y ou've done speed before, right?

They want me to give the eulogy at Judge Robertson's funeral.

They were from my locker.

They're Ionely.

They're not lifts. I doubled up on my Odor Eaters.

This calls for tough love.

This city's ours!

This is a black thing, right? Y ou're going to pee on my foot.

This is gross. I don't touch greasy, disgusting things

This is my nephew, Will.

This is serious.

This isn't about me. It's about Will.

This sex thing is even more complicated than I thought.

Those pills that Carlton took...

Those pills that you took weren't vitamins.

Throw the bums in jai/.

To / Wi// A/ways Love You.

To come up here and share it with us.

To getting more votes than the other guy.

To help me stay awake.

To me, it's just freeze dried coffee, just in case.

To the trash cans

Tuna roll?

Uncle Fink.

Uncle Phil, I'm saying, what's the difference...

Uncle Phil, man, why you making such a big deal about this?

Uncle Phil, you got to kick that man's butt

Uncle Phil, you look great, man.

Up? Y ou don't mean..

Vanessa keeps staring at my pimples. What should I do?

Vanessa, you drive me wild. I hope this night never ends

Very good, honey.

Vivian

Vivian, I'm sorry. It's just that it's been so peaceful here...

Vivian, say hi to Whitey.

Vivian, tell me that's not a beeper.

Vote Robertson for Superior Court Judge.

Wait a minute, now. I found a school...

Want me to hook you up with some more of those pills? I'll get you a good price.

Want some candy, little girl?

Watch and learn.

We are? I mean, we are, yes.

We have already paid you.

We put up a good fight and well...

We still have to mix his aspirin in with applesauce.

We're going to swing out for a little while, all right?

We're not gonna leave our baby alone. We're gonna be spending the night.

We've gotta draw him out. We've gotta bait him, confront him...

Welcome to the real world, Will

Well, $100.

Well, a man can dream, can't he?

Well, coming from you, Carl, that means a lot.

Well, enough business talk, Mr. And Mrs. Cornfeld.

Well, from the Banks headquarters, this is Trevor Collins..

Well, I could be wrong.

Well, I could be wrong.

Well, I didn't really disobey you, Uncle Phil, 'cause, see...

Well, I got like half your back 'cause your back's like...

Well, I think heaven is this wonderful place...

Well, I think heaven is this wonderful place...

Well, I think you should run along and play.

Well, I think you're being really unreasonable.

Well, I'm gonna go take a nap.

Well, judging by the size of that thing, you must be going out with Nell Carter.

Well, just pretend it's buying you dinner afterwards.

Well, let me clarify it for you, Will.

Well, Mr. Banks, you gave us quite a scare.

Well, now, I'll tell you the same thing...

Well, once when I was a kid I zipped my pants up too fast..

Well, thank you for sharing.

Well, that may be...

Well, this one squaw says take your behind upstairs, change, and no beeper.

Well, tough. I don't care if it is chaperoned.

Well, what was all that?