Family Guy - Season 5 Edit

A bee just flew in through the window.

A cat doing a pull up, and the guys from Primus.

A clown?! Dad, I'm 17!

A few days?!

A few weeks now. What seems to be the problem?

A fool in love with you

A full commitment's what I'm thinking of

A little saxophone therapy.

A little time away from the bar will do you some good

A local tanner has a surprising revelation.

A lot of years, Stewie.

A miss.

A needlepoint of Chuck Norris from Walker, Texas Ranger.

A percentage of the 9/11 Victims' Fund,

A person's name.

A Quahog infant who is believed to be possessed by Satan.

A reading from the book of Leviticus.

A retarded guy could never have this much fun

A substantial reward is being offered for any information leading to his capture.

A towel.

A what?

A white man shouldn't play sports in the first place.

A wolverine So you Russians best be warned

Aah! Aah! I mean, go back the way I came. I didn't take my hand off the page.

Aah! Gross! Would you stop it? Stop it!

Aah! My face!

About 40 years ago, I was vactioning in Ireland,

About her own baby?

About his anger issues with this game?

About the only way I can ever impress him is if I was a fat stinkin' drunk.

Activity to get his mind off the army. Just something to distract him.

Actually, I found seven.

Actually, Superstore USA has all that stuff. We can just get it there

Actually,it's Don Most now.

Adam West likes to eat food that's grilled in foil.

Added a large amount of PCP to one of those cups of coffee.

After a $125 dinner at Alfredo's.

After all, AIDS is a deadly, incurable disease

After all, I taught Cleveland how to make Jiffy Pop.

After all, I'm the only one in this family with any business experience.

After having my ass handed to me by my bitch of an ex wife

After I was arrested for hijacking.

After my bypass, I remember wondering if it was all downhill from there.

After my bypass, I remember wondering if it was all downhill from there.

After we're done with this, we could write it.

Afternoon, Mr. Griffin. Mrs. Griffin out today?

Ah, ah, come here. You little son of a bitch, come here!

Ah, Dad, you won't say that when you see my grand unicycle finale.

Ah, did ***** who say a word *****, hmm?

Ah, Glenn, we are so thrilled for you.

Ah, good. What'd he have to do,open the door?

Ah, it was nothing. That's how I caught old Woody over there.

Ah, it was nothing. That's how I caught old Woody over there.

Ah, it's good to have you back, buddy.

Ah, man, I hate kids' birthday parties.

Ah, man, now I can't even watch TV. What the hell am I gonna do all day?

Ah, now that is a challenge.

Ah, she's hot.

Ah, thanks, Joe.

Ah, then what is for dinner?

Ah, we should have gone to Plinko like Cleveland.

Ah, who the hell am I kidding? I don't deserve to be a pilot.

Ah, yeah, ah, yeah, I knew that would get you.

Ah, yes, the bottom ten percent of our high school class

Ah, you bitch.

Ah, you gotta do better than that.

Ah! Ah!

Ah... This is gonna be a relaxing weekend.

Ain't no mountain high enough.

Aisle four.

Aisle six

All feel the same mixture of pride and the shame

All I ask in return is that you let my company do

All I did was make people feel as bad as Randy made me feel.

All I know is somewhere in the great land of Ireland,

All I know is,

All I wanted was for my dad to tell me he loved me.

All in pursuit of the ideal that no man

All right

All right ,Mrs. Griffin, you want to take me on? Fine.

All right, all but number two are free to leave.

All right, all right, Meg, look, what if I...

All right, all right! Geez, Lois, I'm just trying to amuse myself,

All right, baby.

All right, boys, now watch how this is done.

All right, boys, the best targets are old, rich people.

All right, Brian, you can do this. You can dump her.

All right, Brian. I understand.

All right, cats, back in the bag. Come on, Fluffy.

All right, come on in, everybody. Have a seat anywhere

All right, come on, everyone. Go get dressed. It's ballet night.

All right, drop your pants.

All right, everybody, only three hours till opening.

All right, fine, I'll come to Meg's party

All right, fine, let me get my coat.

All right, get your snacks, and hurry out, you guys.

All right, getting a tooth to lure

All right, girls. I've turned off the AC.

All right, hang on. Here we go

All right, here goes.

All right, here they come.

All right, I got a plane to catch. Say, which gate is flight 209?

All right, I guess we gotta go back to the zoo, Allison Janney.

All right, I want to be very clear about this.

All right, I'll pull some strings on one condition:

All right, I'll take that, and I'm gonna hurry home and show it to Lois

All right, I'll tell him. Thanks. Bye.

All right, I'm gonna go bring the pilots their coffee.

All right, if that's what you... Wait a minute!

All right, if you're gonna make me do this, at least let me lead.

All right, it shouldn't be too hard to get ourselves kicked out.

All right, it's a deal.

All right, Joe, let's lose the wheelchair and shoot this thing.

All right, Joe, now don't get carried away with this

All right, kids, assembly is starting.

All right, ladies, you ready for action?

All right, last call, fellas. It's closing time.

All right, last resort.

All right, let's get this meeting underway.

All right, Lois, if you really think it'll work.

All right, Lois, if you really think it'll work.

All right, look,I'll tell you what.

All right, look. Let's get one thing straight, Stewie

All right, Marilyn Manson has to be here somewhere.

All right, Meg, you got a feel for the controls. Now give it a little gas.

All right, Meg.

All right, men, your mission tonight is to stave off

All right, men.

All right, Mr. Griffin,

All right, now do you see a button that looks like a drunken gay guy

All right, now, I want you to meet me at this address in an hour,

All right, Olivia, get ready to...

All right, Peter, slide the red knob all the way out.

All right, Peter, we've got a big day ahead of us.

All right, Peter, who's it going to be? Who do you want to sleep with?

All right, Peter, you can stay, but remember, this is my class.

All right, Peter, you ready for role playing night?

All right, Peter, your time's up.

All right, press the button right above it.

All right, put 'em up, put 'em up.

All right, so as you know by this point in the story,

All right, so which one of y'all ain't got my herpes yet?

All right, so you know the drill

All right, students, we have a special speaker today

All right, this is gonna blow you guys...

All right, Tooth Whore, do your worst.

All right, up next is Lois Griffin.

All right, Violet and Pigpen, you've been seeing each other

All right, we'll drop the dumbest student we have:

All right, we're going Brazilian.

All right, where's your son?

All right, who the hell is in charge...

All right, who's up there?

All right, who's up there?

All right, you can do this, Brian. Come on, pray with me.

All right, you folks take care now

All right, you know what, Lois, don't judge.

All right,consider it done.

All right,here's a little tune inspired by

All right? This is my show, and it's a serious, intellectual hour of discussion,

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right. Go, Medium!

All right. I'm starved. Let's do it.

All right. In three, two, one

All right. So, we roll the dice,

All right. Thanks a lot, Peter.

All that matters is Jillian and I have a great time together.

All that power and you've still got that body.

All the movers and shakers and bigwigs are gonna eat here,

All the things that make us

All the things that make us

All the things that make us

All the things that make us

All the things that make us

All the things that make us

All the things that make us

All the things that took me under...

All this violent music is what's screwing Chris up.

All we need is some magic markers, poster boards, some plywood..

All weekend long. Weenie and the Butt.

All will kneel before my...

Allison Janney?

Allo? Allo? Alloo? Alloo?

Almost all of you have completed it in the allotted time.

Almost, Chris.

Also he's a ninja.

Also...

Although, sometimes it's, like, what's the deal?

Am I Bo Bice? Yes, I am.

Amazing.

Amelia Earhart flew a lot of airplanes

Amen

An entire week and still no teeth.

An Indian guide with lots of Indian pride

And "jeers" is when they find some sort of fault with it.

And a couple of eyebrows with one raised up

And a jar of marmalade that we believe forces you to commit adultery.

And a lot of wonderful experiences ahead of you.

And a razor blade to shave.

And a Scooby Doo yogurt with Shaggy's eyes scratched out.

And a strong, well funded educational system, there's no street crime.

And alive.

And all the brown people you can ****.

And all the doctors are pigs?

And all the nice things you said.

And an answer without a question is a statement.

And an official on duty cop.

And another... What?

And as you may know, I am totally and completely insane.

And at the top of the second half, it's 16 to 9.

And B)... How do I say this?

And back again.

And banish the devil from his infant soul.

And before I knew Vageena Hertz

And before you know it, you'll be up on your roof; pooping in the chimney.

And busted your spleen and punctured your lung.

And by the time we're done,

And can sell beer at a much cheaper price,

And cold filtered Miller Genuine Draft.

And don't pick the obvious one

And every day at 3:00, you'll need to give Sloth a Baby Ruth

And every other school we've tried just doesn't seem to be a good fit for Chris.

And every other school we've tried just doesn't...

And everything in between.

And expect me to walk away

And food that's not served from warming trays.

And for every hot dog that you catch in your mouth,

And for some reason, we have a chalkboard in the living room.

And fruits are important, too.

And give a piece of my mind to that jerk who tried to brainwash Chris.

And God knows how many fathoms.

And going up the sideways stairs

And going up the stairs and going down the stairs

And guess what? I smuggled a whole bunch of fireworks back in my anus.

And guess what? I sold Snoopy the junk.

And have sex with Hank get free boob jobs courtesy of Dr. John Viener?

And he describes every scene from You, Me, and Dupree.

And he only shows up when somebody dies.

And he reduced the percentage of Americans on welfare

And he said, "No, no,it's at my office.

And he said, "Oh,I don't have time." I've got a meeting at 12:30."

And he's hungry. What could happen?

And here to assist me is

And here to help me secure the Latino vote is actor Jimmy Smits.

And here we are sitting here like a bunch of lazy, paraplegic cops.

And here's a copy of my last movie.

And here's the present. And here's the night at the bar.

And I can tell I'm her kind of guy.

And I can tell you this, there's no reason to grow up too fast.

And I can watch Madagascar while I'm driving!

And I couldn't study last night because you made us go to the ballet.

And I don't care that you slept with Clinton. We'll get past it somehow.

And I don't like it one bit.

And I don't mean the classy "maybe they are, maybe they're not" gay guys.

And I don't wanna be made a liar in the nudie magazine of record.

And I figured maybe I earned a little treat, huh?

And I got a job following fat people around with a tuba.

And I got to give that bastard or bitch a piece of my mind or penis.

And I guess that's why They call it the blues

And I guess that's why They call it the blues

And I hate girls.

And I have spoken with the school board...

And I just wanted to tell you, rock n' roll music is cool,

And I know what you're thinking. " Peter, this is just like your Gil Gerard speech. "

And I love your hair.

And I met a young rogue named Mickey McFinnegan.

And I need to be taught a lesson and you're the one to do it.

And I really appreciate you having sex with me in my office.

And I see how tough it is.

And I suppose it wouldn't matter if I told you for the 50th time

And I think I know how

And I think we all realize the importance of stopping

And I think we learned something

And I used to take the old dirt road on purpose?

And I was wondering if you'd like to go with me.

And I'll be your lover...

And I'll give it an upbeat '80s sitcom theme

And I'll meet you up there in, like, five minutes

And I'll never be happy unless I can do it again.

And I'll tell you another thing that worries me.

And I'm 15 minutes stronger, Brian.

And I'm gonna have to give you a full cavity search.

And I'm gonna win.

And I'm kind of losing control of the situation.

And I'm still a young woman, Peter. 82 is the new 74

And I'm tired of sitting in ball soup

And I'm touched that you went through so much trouble just to be with me.

And I've got to make the most of it.

And I've never been inside; isn't that funny?

And I've seen the Bangles in concert.

And if the parents don't like it, that's their loss.

And if we buy it, they save a real gorilla in the wild.

And if we don't, they kill one. Wow, these guys are playing hardball.

And if you do make the choice to act on them,

And if you have sex, you're automatically in Al Qaeda.

And if you look around, I think even the wildlife is starting to come back.

And if you think you can say that just like Weenie here,

And if you're thinking about changing the station..

And in local news, a new restaurant is taking Quahog by storm.

And in return, I get free oil for my hair.

And it begins..

And it turns out these teeth I got from the old man are phony.

And it won't be long Before you and me run

And it wouldn't bother you none.

And it'll be wonderful.

And its shadow and developed it at Sav On. You must be so brooding and deep.

And just in time, too. I can't keep my teeth from chattering.

And kind of steer the conversation in a way that gets her to spill it.

And lately this family has been lacking moral fiber. Especially you, Meg.

And letting your body do what it does naturally.

And make it big in Hollywood.

And Man E Faces, you take center patrol since you have many faces.

And maybe a band. Is that cool?

And maybe a big ol' dumb guy smiley mouth.

And maybe take a dip in the pool. Hey, Devon, Devon, come here.

And musician, Harry Connick Jr.

And my natural response could be to get offended.

And neither one of them wants anything to do with you.

And no one would be gay, yeah, I know the joke.

And not Quagmire, or any man,

And now back to Romancing the Stone.

And now back to Round Table,

And now he's dead. They're both dead

And now I just sit back, relax and watch my progress.

And now it's inside of you. Part of me is inside of you, Brian.

And now TV's Olivia Fuller will cut the ceremonial ribbon.

And now, I think your parents have something to say.

And now, I think your parents have something to say.

And now, ladies and gentlemen, here's...

And now, ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Conway Twitty.

And of course...

And offer to teach the class myself.

And our first runner up is...

And pedophile or not, he, he was a perfectly professional person.

And places it gently on your tongue.

And places it gently on your tongue.

And publicly write on their laptops.

And punctual.

And remember, life is full of entrees, so don't fill up on bread

And replacing her with a new ad campaign

And right before the big dance.

And see how long it takes you to get a bonner."

And she happens to be a very talented photographer.

And she said, "I'll drive you there."

And she says she wants a grown up man. But...

And show you the time of your life.

And since you won't get rid of those pajamas, I'm getting rid of the carpets.

And so am I! Oh, God, it was horrible!

And so many of them just look so great.

And so you know where you'll get it? Right here in the army!

And sometimes, just for the hell of it,

And started giving hand jobs when you were 12.

And steal a pair of George Bush's underwear.

And still do other things.

And suck on that stamen like there's no tomorrow.

And that river's got to be 50, 60 meters wide.

And that, sir, is an idiot.

And that's Dicky, the Punch Line Donkey, on 97.1

And that's exactly what you'll get with Mayor Adam West.

And that's my choice. Y'all ain't worth it.

And that's why she commands $7,000 a year.

And that's why she commands $7,000 a year.

And that's why we're gonna be handing out these opal rings.

And the Baby..

And the best medical care on the planet.

And the best way to start a fun filled day of being a good citizen

And the bullet went right through him and killed Karl Rove and Tucker Carlson.

And the fact of your firm young body

And the first thing I'm going to do as mayor is clean up Lake Quahog.

And the Grammy for Biggest Posse goes to...

And the guy wants to know how old Meg is. I didn't know what to tell him.

And the more you do it, the sweeter it gets.

And the next I'm having sex with Sharon Stone.

And the recruiter said with any luck,

And the second those wheels touch the ground, you hit the emergency brake.

And the sooner you get that through your thick skull,

And the sweaters are so thick,

And the World Bank, I'll be more inclined to believe you.

And the, and the funny repair guy was Lowell.

And then all afternoon I was a fireman, so it's been, uh... it's been a long one.

And then bring it back here, so we can bask in its Bushy goodness.

And then don't take him home. It's hilarious.

And then just drove away?

And then laughing : "Ha ha ha! She doesn't know she's eating my fart."

And then she got mad at him 'cause he gave her a funny look.

And then she wanted to make him eggs.

And then there's the dark, sex crazed side only I know.

And then we both have to yell Yahtzee really loud.

And then who's the one who's prepared?

And then, I just felt like something was wrong.

And then, there's Maude

And then, there's Maude

And then, there's Maude!

And then, there's Maude! Come on!

And then, there's Maude.

And then, there's Maude.

And then, think about this :

And then... and then we could do other stuff.

And there are hot Asian chicks.

And there's a lot of great people here

And there's not a policeman in sight. I guess it's up to me.

And they called me crazy.

And they discovered they could sleep with another male.

And things are gonna get better.

And this happened.

And this is how we choose to express our love.

And this is James Bottomtooth, IV.

And this is Private Brian.

And this is Virgil MasterCard, heir to the MasterCard fortune.

And this over here,

And this part here...

And this restaurant is hemorrhaging money.

And this would just stick in his craw.

And to help you feel better, I made your favorite dinner.

And to think I actually thought you ****d me.

And to think I ignored your cries for attention.

And today we're going to learn to use the potty.

And wasn't there a fat guy with a moustache?

And we alsohave evidence that...

And we are gonna rock this place until...

And we can catch it and get the finger.

And we come to the center of the shrubbery maze.

And we don't tan well, either.

And we never quite got it going.

And we want you to become a member.

And we won't come back till it's over over there.

And we'd love to deliver that licking,

And we'll check your prostate.

And we'll do our very best to find Brian and girl Chris.

And we'll slap five there

And we're gonna keep on drinking until we each uncover repressed memories

And we're here with their reactions.

And we're out of time. This has been The Lunch Hour

And welcome back

And what does 8,008 look like on a calculator?

And what makes you think you can hold your own with the *likes* of me?

And what's that little rubber mailman you got behind there?

And when he woke up in the morning, she was still in his bed!

And when you touched Chris, you passed it on.

And while I'm away

And who had the prime rib?

And why they shouldn't be having it.

And with a name like The Nutcracker I thought,

And with zero tolerance gun control

And without realizing it,

And you can stop making that fart sound every time someone says, "Meg

And you can stop right in your tracks, because it is not.

And you can't spell "overreacting" without "ovary."

And you decide to take your values from that, you're an idiot.

And you drop a bombshell like this?

And you have to flap your wrists, like this.

And you know what?

And you need to remind your customers of that.

And you took an oath to stick it out when things got tough.

And you're dropping anchor without an order from the Captain.

And you're listening to The Lunch Hour, serving up food for the mind

And you're the one who's had potty training, so

And you're the only one I'll ever have,

And you've got to help me since this is all your fault.

And your bag of Werther's Originals.

And your messages are often ambiguous

And, Dorothy, you wanted herpes,

And, hey, let's just all be grateful

And, hey, look I... I wanted to thank you for being so great to me.

And, in entertainment, is Annette Bening made of leather?

And, number four, could you step forward, too?

And, truthishly, we should just accept that.

And, uh, it seems to work out for them, so...

And, uh, you could just send us back to the States.

And, you know, he's done three national diaper commercials.

And, you know, that's something we haven't seen in a while.

And...

And...

And... action!

And... and...

And... go!

Any of 'em, Chris. You can't miss.

Any problem caused by a tank can be solved by a tank

Anybody else hear anything?

Anyone else have to go to the littlegirls' room?

Anyone tell who it is yet? No?

Anywhere.

Apparently, there's the side of Bill Clinton the world knows,

Are her parents brother and sister?

Are my long john stied to the end of those?

Are those new slacks?

Are we there yet?

Are you aware that Lois Griffin has a plan

Are you drinking so much because you don't want to be here?

Are you happy doing what you're doing? 'Cause you're pathetic.

Are you having a bully day? I'm having a bully day.

Are you kidding, Brian?

Are you kidding, Lois? The army's great!

Are you kidding, Meg? I've had more fun with you than I did

Are you kidding? I got lots of experience in the film industry.

Are you kidding? I'm nothing like Randy Fulcher.

Are you kidding? Lois, I couldn't bear to live without you.

Are you out of your mind?

Are you saying I asked for this to happen?

Are you seeing that?! Hey! Hey! Hey!

Are you serious? Are you serious, Brian?

Are you shy, squiggly line?

Are you sure Aunt Carol won't mind us using her house?

Are you sure it wasn't all evil and grainy and black and white? Think about it.

Are you sure, Judge?

Are you telling me I could be pooping and warm?

Are you telling me that you have a problem with me being handicapped?

Aren't I just the worst?

Aren't you gonna pick it up?

Around here, the town drunk is a person of great honor.

Around the side.

Arriba!

Arriba!

As a man with no more options, will you take a look in my ass?

As a matter of fact, Joe, yes. I think it's immoral.

As a Trans National 767 was forced to make a crash landing.

As a Trans National jet is apparently out of control.

As is customary with all our new members,

As it yields to the sound of your heart beating

As long as you promise never to bully anyone again.

As Miss Fuller will be appearing at the Quahog mall this weekend

As Pat Robertson and Jerry Falwell after the rapture.

As the contents of your panties may have shifted during coitus.

As we say in Ireland,

As well as...

Ask a Hennesy, Tennesy, Morrison,

Ask Olivia.

At Big Pete's House of Munch. Stop on by

At first I didn't believe in women and unicorns,

At first, I thought he was nice and that he was kind of handsome.

At least he talks to you.

At least they know how to touch a man. Oh, walk away

At least, that's how everyone will see you.

At the airport.

At the detective agency.

At the end of every sentence?

At the police academy,

At the top of the news tonight, authorities have called off their pursuit

At the top of the news, Lake Quahog is once again clean,

At the top of the news, Quahog is suffering its worst heat wave in a century.

At which point, Quagmire is forced to step in and land the plane safely,

Atkins friendly potato sticks arranged according to size from largest to smallest,

Authorities are on the lookout for one year old Stewie Griffin,

Aw, crap, I'm not even half buzzed

Aw, crap! Death!

Aw, crap! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go!

Aw, damn it! Hey! Hey, come back!

Aw, forget it, Quagmire. It's the least we could do after what happened.

Aw, man, this sucks. I got no license. I can't go anywhere.

Aw, man. That's a tough one.

Aw, you should've seen what our amazing, freakin' daughter

Awesome!

Awesome!

Awesome!

Aye, and soon, before your rudder jams with flotsam,

Aye, tis McSwiggen Village. Where the hills are green, the streams are clear,

B Brian, wha... what are you doing?

Babe Zaharias was a really good athlete

Babs.

Baby, why don't we go down to Kokomo?

Back up some more.

Bad dog.

Barney,

Beautiful country, isn't it, Chris?

Because all you see is a whore.

Because he's a Scot!

Because I'm your son. And I'm tough.

Because I've had enough of him living in this house.

Because Mark Harmon is cool.

Because my father is a fat stinkin' drunk. I gotta prove it to him.

Because not only to condoms fail 100% of the time,

Because once it's done,

Because she's here humping you?!

Because that's what Jesus wants.

Because the town thinks Stewie's possessed.

Because they know, they know what you want.

Because without questions, we'd just have answers.

Because you don't know what two people are like when they're alone.

Because, Brian, they have an industrial sized air conditioner,

Because, Lois, I already wrote the letter to "Penthouse Forum,"

Been a long day, Lois. Long day.

Before being brutally murdered.

Before I have a chance to disinfect it.

Begin.

Being there today reminded me of how important religious services are

Beloved family doctor to all of Quahog, is the target of a molestation lawsuit.

Belts are a great way to express opinions.

Ben Affleck prepares for a role.

Ben Stiller doesn't like spicy food.

Ben Stiller, help me.

Besides, I can't throw my best friend out on the street

Besides, I have a girlfriend, I'm dating Jillian.

Besides, it sure beats the hell out of last Saturday

Besides, it's bound to go better than my deep sea training.

Besides, Lois is my friend. I'll do whatever the hell I want.

Besides, Quagmire doesn't even have a job.

Besides, the army is weak.

Besides, there was a lot left over after the lake cleanup

Besides, you liked The Nutcracker, didn't you?

Besides, you liked The Nutcracker, didn't you?

Besides, you owe me big after the way you embarrassed me in front of Sandra Oh.

Best have sick bay check below your decks.

Better go rassle up some Chinese food, Hopalong Nussbaum.

Between incumbent Adam West and challenger Lois Griffin.

Between you and me I could honestly say

Bill, how about thinking up your own jeers for a change, huh?

Bitch, I thought I said just shut up and be lookin' fine.

Bitch.

Blah, blah, blah, "Lincoln assassinated,"

Blah, blah, blah, "tragedy for our Republic."

Bon anniversaire.

Bone dry.

Boo ya! Triple salchow in your face!

Boob!

Boob! Yeah! All right! All right! All right!

Booze killed my father.

Booze made me fall down all those stairs.

Both academic and athletic.

Both the pilots are unconscious, and we're in a nosedive.

Bottle of Jack Daniel's, please.

Boy it's amazing, isn't it? You get two fathers

Boy, a degree from here would set you up with any job you wanted.

Boy, I am so beat from doing adult stuff all day.

Boy, I can't wait to lay into that recruiter.

Boy, I guess it's been a while.

Boy, I sure had fun at the pizza parlor tonight, Debbie.

Boy, I'm a little chilly. I hope no one notices

Boy, it was nice of Quagmire to let us use his place.

Boy, Lois, thanks so much for coming in and helping me get my work done.

Boy, Meg, I am so looking forward to this job

Boy, Quagmire, I'm really sorry they fired you.

Boy, that was a close one back there. Way to think on your feet, Brian.

Boy, that, uh...

Boy, that's even kinkier than the porn they make for senior citizens.

Boy, this election's gonna be a tight one.

Boy, this election's gonna be a tight one.

Boy, this is a great city. I don't care what anybody says.

Boy, this is gonna be long.

Boy, this is really going to upset my evil brother, Thaddeus

Boy, this sounds like more trouble than a moose on the interstate.

Boy, we've got a beautiful day for this.

Boy, you are good. You are really good.

Boy, you guys,I really appreciate all the help you've been giving us.

Boy, you know what, you're right.

Boy, you said it. All right, take it easy.

Boys like

Boys like me

Boys, boys, we can settle this like reasonable and sexy teenagers.

Breathe.

Brian had sex with a really dumb girl

Brian, are you coming over to watch Laguna Beach tonight?

Brian, be careful 'cause the mountains are the same color as the sky.

Brian, be careful with that. We don't know what it does.

Brian, Brian, look, I'm Gary Busey.

Brian, can I ask you something?

Brian, did you ever see that Twilight Zone episode?

Brian, did you get into the garbage last night?

Brian, did you know that Brad Pitt is John Lithgow's nephew?

Brian, do women like it when you treat them like crap?

Brian, don't you see?

Brian, going back in time ruined my life.

Brian, how many years have I been saying you and I should go berry picking?

Brian, I love it!

Brian, I may only have one week to live

Brian, I present to you your polished turd for the evening.

Brian, I'll be right back. I'm going to use the little girl's room.

Brian, I'm reading TV Guide.

Brian, I'm ready. You in or out?

Brian, if you're not going to use the toilet, there's only one solution.

Brian, it is so nice of you to take Meg to this dance.

Brian, it's parachute day!

Brian, let's dance. This song kicks ass.

Brian, Molly Ringwald is in my bed, and she says she's my wife!

Brian, please, save your hippie BS for the winter months, okay?

Brian, she looks... she looks fantastic.

Brian, she's a teenager.

Brian, she's stunning.

Brian, spit on me.

Brian, thank you, thank you, thank you.

Brian, that was amazing. No one's ever stood up for me like that.

Brian, this is Devon.

Brian, we have to go down there this weekend and heckle her roundly.

Brian, what is this on my shoe?

Brian, what kind of a mother has homicidal thoughts

Brian, what the hell is going on?

Brian, where's Rupert? I just left him here to watch my things.

Brian, why can't you just admit what's going on here?

Brian, will you go with me?

Brian!

Brian's the first serious boyfriend I've ever had.

Brutalized and humiliated and... and...

Bullshit.

Bunch of cops in uniform hanging out in my restaurant?

Burping time. Smells like someone needs to be changed.

But a moron with large breasts you can use as mountains

But all I want is for your mom to be happy

But all the ladies catch the clap from your drunken Irish dad

But along the way, I learned about honesty, integrity

But as I recall, you were more interested in partying with your friends.

But as science will tell you, people were a lot shorter 2,000 years ago,

But as you know, as a unit, you either all graduate,

But at least don't make me wait up all night for you.

But boy, am I angry!

But doesn't that sound like something that could be true?

But don't take my word for it.

But first in medical news, Dr. Elmer Hartman,

But first, the big news in entertainment this week

But he raised you as if you were his own. And if that isn't love,

But he's having some trouble, isn't he?

But her breasts was immaculate.

But how can you leave me now, Ben Stiller,

But I didn't you'd like that.

But I do anyway because I like being myself

But I don't want to play bridge with the Petersons tonight.

But I guess that's too much to ask.

But I just cleaned up Quahog Lake.

But I just have a few more questions.

But I know where it should be!

But I mean, hey, we're all human, huh?

But I think I have some trouble with my prostate.

But I think I've got a solution that will make things right for both of us.

But I think Jillian's found a good balance.

But I turned out to be the guinea pig for his sexual experimentation.

But I want you to know I'm here for you if you need anything.

But I wasn't looking for anything long term

But I'm married to an elephant.

But I'm not because my stepfather had boundary issues.

But I'm not sure that you're cut out for the job.

But I've been in a wheelchair for 45 minutes now,

But I've just decided to go with another paper.

But if I leave now, I won't hear who's the dumbest kid in the school.

But if we have sex in the ear, it doesn't count.

But if you plan to beat me, you'll have to...

But if you want to come over here, that's okay, too

But instead, he called me a fat, stinking drunk.

But is having this minor skill worth being so unattractive?

But is having this minor skill worth being so unattractive?

But it means a lot to me to hear you say that.

But it turns out that the only way to make things right seems to be...

But it was too late. And she died from an angry hymen.

But it wasn't Stewie who was laughing at me.

But just in case you don't believe me, ask the man himself.

But just tell me this, Brian : does she laugh on her own

But let's go to Ollie Williams for the in depth analysis

But listen, you know what? Let me make it up to you.

But little did you know, you've had herpes all along.

But little Olivia's career may be over just as it begins