ALF - Season 1 Edit

A burglar.

A dead burglar.

A dented one.

A few laughs... they think it's forever.

A few months ago, you didn't know anything about this planet.

A few of the stars have exploded.

A free toaster for listening to a...

A good psychiatrist friend of mine.

A guy named gordon. Who's he?

A ham to sally field?

A houseguest of ours has come down with amnesia.

A hyena.

A kid walks into the principal's office..

A L F?

A less violent solution.

A light snack would hold me over until the pizza came.

A little mayo, and slap together a b L T.

A little mayo, and slap together a b L T.

A little mayo, and slap together a b L T.

A little surprise.

A lot of good r & b groups came out of there.

A machine that brings you your sandwich?

A man his age shouldn't be eating pork

A meat raffle.

A pickle... you?

A piece of cake? That was a piece of luck.

A pizza arrived already paid for.

A place of my own as soon as possible.

A presidential commendation!

A psychologist? Kate

A pulsar or a satellite.

A rambo doll.

A rather large gambling debt.

A ratty old fur.

A real alien!

A real alien!

A serial killer.

A space creature?

A space creature?

A talking anteater.

A terrible misunderstanding.

A terrorist.

A toaster!

A toaster.

A tooth? Yeah!

A weekend with the ochmoneks?

A whole can of spray on it.

A.L.F.

A.S.A.P.

Aaaaaaoooww!

Aaahhhh!

Aagh.

About 2 hours.

About 3 feet tall.

About 3 feet tall.

About a guy with the same problem

About calling the president?

About misusing appliances.

About my business,

About the phone...

About this, okay?

About what?

About you calling the police?

About your birthday present.

Abrasive, no. You're right.

Absolutely no problem

Absolutely not.

Absolutely!

Absolutely.

Absolutely.

Absolutely.

Act cool. Listen.

Actually,

Actually, there's...

Add manure to your grocery list.

Afraid of a little personal growth, perhaps?

After all those years of wondering, and hoping...

After all, where would science be today...

After my brother?

After she found a mouse head in her minestrone.

After you've seen this slide show,

Again?

Ah, ahhhhhhhhh.

Ah, can i make a suggestion?

Ah, dad

Ah, first off, what would you say is the difference between...

Ah, forget it.

Ah, gee, i never do anything right.

Ah, mmm...

Ah, she'll only want me more after a couple of centuries.

Ah, that wasn't raquel i buried.

Ah, whose clarinet?

Ah, yeah,

Ah, yeah, cockroaches.

Ah! Oh!

Ah! They're not unsavory.

Aha, you do care what happens to alf.

Aha! You kill me!

Ahh, ahhhhhhhhh.

Ahhh!

Ahhhh!

Ahhhhh!

Ahhhhh! Ahhhhh!

Ahhhhhh!

Ahhhhhhh!

Ahhhhhhh!

Ahhhhhhh! Ahhhhhhh!

Ahhhhhhhh!

Ahhhhhhhh! Ahhhh! Ahhhh! Ahhhh!

Air force one, hogarth speaking.

Air force one, may i help you?

Alas, poor mrs. Ochmonek, i knew her well.

Alf

Alf

Alf

Alf Wayne.

Alf ate all the vowels.

Alf can fly a plane?

Alf can't be doing all those things.

Alf does a great impression of you.

Alf has different instincts than we do.

Alf has gone 6 months without starting a fire.

Alf is all alone; i'm worried.

Alf is an insurance agent.

Alf is on the phone again.

Alf is throwing us a surprise anniversary party.

Alf loves to chow down.

Alf should get a place of his own?

Alf tanner? Nicky mintz.

Alf told you that?

Alf who?

Alf would never do that.

Alf wouldn't eat lucky.

Alf,

Alf, alf, are you okay?

Alf, alf!

Alf, are you all right?

Alf, are you all right?

Alf, are you all right?

Alf, calm down.

Alf, cancel the exterminator.

Alf, come on!

Alf, did you check your spaceship to see...

Alf, did you eat lucky or not?

Alf, didn't i tell you not to bother trevor?

Alf, do something! Quick!

Alf, do you know where lucky is?

Alf, do you mind?

Alf, don't be rude!

Alf, don't.

Alf, forget it.

Alf, get to the point...

Alf, go in the kitchen.

Alf, he's gone.

Alf, he's our son. We'll handle this.

Alf, hi! i'm jody.

Alf, how could you?

Alf, how were you able to purchase $4000 of makeup?

Alf, i already said you could use...

Alf, i did it. I sang my song!

Alf, i think we'd make better time,

Alf, i think you better make contact...

Alf, i'm not sure i had your full attention...

Alf, if you go out with jody...

Alf, listen.

Alf, look,

Alf, maybe you and luis could go into the kitchen.

Alf, my mother is welcome to stay here as long as she wants.

Alf, please give your imagination a rest.

Alf, please.

Alf, pull off the road.

Alf, put kate on.

Alf, put that claw down.

Alf, she's serious.

Alf, tell him the truth.

Alf, that was rude hanging up the phone like that!

Alf, there are no winners in this thing.

Alf, there are tacks on the floor.

Alf, these are your favorite things.

Alf, this really isn't very funny.

Alf, trevor is in the next room. Get out!

Alf, uh,

Alf, um, do you know...

Alf, under the counter.

Alf, want to go outside and throw the old frisbee?

Alf, we are trying to figure out...

Alf, we don't have any financial troubles.

Alf, we have to talk.

Alf, we have...

Alf, we hide eggs at easter,

Alf, we put aside the money...

Alf, we trusted you to stay out of trouble.

Alf, we're going home.

Alf, we're going to go home, right now!

Alf, what are you doing?

Alf, what did you do?

Alf, what do you have to say that's so important?

Alf, what happened when you...

Alf, what were you screaming about?

Alf, what's going on?

Alf, what's the stuff in this bag?

Alf, where did you get those?

Alf, why What difference does it make to you?

Alf, why are you answering?

Alf, why are you locking me in this cage?

Alf, why are you sending...

Alf, why are you talking about nicaragua?

Alf, why do you do these things?

Alf, would you come here?

Alf, would you turn that down?

Alf, you are in there!

Alf, you come from an advanced civilization.

Alf, you didn't win any sweepstakes

Alf, you didn't!

Alf, you don't walk into other people's showers.

Alf, you made me that video...

Alf, you sent it fourth class

Alf, you signed all these names

Alf, you sound different in person.

Alf, you weren't making this up.

Alf, you're always doing

Alf, you're back!

Alf, you're making everybody crazy!

Alf, you're not going anywhere.

Alf, you've written us into this mess.

Alf!

Alf!

Alf!

Alf!

Alf!

Alf!

Alf!

Alf!

Alf!

Alf!

Alf!

Alf!

Alf!

Alf!

Alf!

Alf!

Alf! Alf!

Alf! Alf! Alf!

Alf! Gotta go. The queen just dropped by.

Alf! Hey, watch the shoulders.

Alf! Just kidding!

Alf!!

Alf?

Alf?

Alf?

Alf?

Alf?

Alf?

Alf?

Alf? Alf who?

Alf? Are you all right?

Alf.

Alf.

Alf.

Alf.

Alf.

Alf. Alf!

Alf. Alf?

Alf..

Alf...

Alf...

Alf...

Alf... come on!

Alf."

Alf's really getting his money's worth...

Alfer

Alfer.

Alfmeister.

All aboard!

All alone.

All by yourself.

All he said was "alf"...a L F.

All i have unpacked is soy sauce.

All i know is somebody used my radio.

All i know is somebody used my radio.

All kinds of diabolical tricks.

All melmacians go through it.

All my life.

All of it.

All of us?

All right

All right

All right brian, i guess it's up to me.

All right,

All right,

All right,

All right,

All right, alf, you can order the doughnuts.

All right, alf. Out with it!

All right, all right,

All right, all right, all right.

All right, all right, i will.

All right, all right!

All right, all right.

All right, all right.

All right, all right.

All right, all right. how about a cat food can?

All right, all right. We're movin' on.

All right, but i warn you,

All right, but...

All right, go!

All right, i could

All right, i should take it easy.

All right, i'll see you later.

All right, it is what it looks like.

All right, it was a rocky start.

All right, let's call it a mistake.

All right, let's call it a mistake.

All right, let's compromise.

All right, maybe i need a shave.

All right, nice doing business.

All right, syllogism:

All right, that's it!

All right, the party's over.

All right, then,

All right, these will have to do.

All right, whizzerman!

All right!

All right! I'm going in.

All right! We'll chat with the dead.

All right! Yeah!

All right? It's fine.

All right.

All right.

All right. All right.

All right. All right.

All right. But on my planet...

All right. I'm a cat stuck in a tree.

All right. If you're really brian...

All right. just give me one day, okay?

All right. Talk. Talk.

All she said was, "tell alf, thanks."

All the way, willie.

All these months?

All they had left was slug.

All this information about my life?

All you have to do is write a script,

All your friends will be there.

All...

Alone again, naturally.

Alright already!

Alright, but i warn you,

Although, call first. I may be in the shower.

Although, you'd never know it by the way these clowns drive.

Always open with comedy and close with a song.

Am i interrupting something?

Am i obnoxious?

Am i wearing a sign...

Am i working it right?

Amen, to that!

American and british television?

An $11,000 balloon payment?

An accident!

An accident! You almost killed me,

An accident?

An alf; an a.L.F.

An alf. an a l f.

An alien being has come to live with us,

An alien took control of my radio

An alien took control of my radio.

An arrow through his head.

An electric sandwich caddy.

An hour later, you're hungry again.

An individual places a bet with a professional bookie,

An object was spotted in space,

An official aspara Guy, what do you think?

An old boyfriend of mine, whom i now hate,

An open can of minestrone in the kitchen.

An unconfirmed kill.

An unsavory element.

Analyze everything i say?

And 7 in the 8th.

And a half on the perfecta.

And alf will find something to do.

And an old sofa out on their front lawn.

And as mercutio said,

And based on what i know about the...

And before i knew it, i was on the freeway.

And best of all, for the ol' alfer,

And bring brian that tooth.

And compared it to alf's hair,

And courtesy.

And did you see that centerpiece?

And don't stop for anything.

And drool. Aahh!

And dumped a stack of workmen's comp files on my desk.

And dumped a stack of workmen's comp files on my desk.

And eat our cans and snack on our cat.

And every other song in the show.

And find something we can do together.

And forgot to unhook it.

And get a tetanus shot.

And get my $100 back.

And get my hands on a cat.

And get out of here.

And get some more clothespins!

And get that toaster.

And good for you to eat."

And good night, mrs. Ochmonek,

And have supper with me.

And he can't cover his losses.

And he doesn't know about not crossing on the green.

And he knew.

And he loses it,

And he moved to riverside.

And he never misses "captain kangaroo."

And i decide that's the right thing to do,

And i did want to clear up that little misunderstanding...

And i don't like them.

And i don't like you using my opera glasses...

And i don't mean to be too critical,

And i found something i'd like to buy,

And i hope you never do.

And i know how to use it.

And i made it up.

And i made it without any help.

And i say, "we'll make your body strong and lean,

And i still have to lay out my clothes...

And i think it's my fault.

And i want to leave.

And i wear a dark headband.

And i wonder if you'd like to answer some questions?

And i'll sleep in the laundry room with

And i'm all alone

And i'm lynn...

And i'm not going to place any bets for you.

And i'm not the only one who thinks so.

And i'm still getting used to it.

And i'm talking to socks.

And if i'm going to put him alone on a bus back to mexico,

And if there was nothing good on tv,

And if you ever, ever

And immoral.

And instead of turning right, i turned left onto third

And it was a dynamite comeback.

And it's 'naughty nina' by a nose!"

And it's all because of your ridiculous stories.

And it's dangerous to leave you alone with nothing to do

And it's good!

And just those things over there.

And live with your friend, crazy miriam.

And lost 6 grand!

And move around a little,

And my 2 lovely children.

And my antique cameo!

And my antique cameo!

And my earring.

And my good watch!

And my good watch!

And no questions, please,

And now i owe you $6,000!

And now the mob is after him!

And of course, dissection.

And of course, dissection.

And once again, thank you for sparing our kitchen.

And our goldfish is in the toilet

And our vacation.

And over.

And pencils.

And psychological transformation.

And rake myself.

And reclaim your property,

And remember, nothing on the pick 6.

And respect.

And scooter.

And second, are you going to tell her...

And see if alf is there.

And see if we can find him.

And share with you an interesting story...

And she couldn't stand another day living with me.

And some bad news...

And speaking of porky...

And spend the rest of my life fending off gamma rays.

And stay away from the window.

And still less before he has fallen."

And stuck them on my entry.

And take off that dress!

And take off that dress!

And tell her this has been a big mistake.

And tell him i want my albums back.

And that's what you think is funny?

And the association of lawn fertilizers.

And the astronomers thought...

And the bartender said,

And the cat is going to be okay.

And the next minute he's putting fake vomit on my pillow.

And the surprise is...

And then i sort of came home.

And then take their clothes.

And then we're going to butcher the chicken!

And then?

And there'd be no harm done.

And there's "alvin."

And they have no knowledge of the planet "alvin."

And they might.

And they run into a space patrol.

And they run into a space patrol.

And they'll air it?

And to, uh, dribble glasses.

And try to be considerate.

And try to be considerate.

And ultimately, hurting yourself.

And understanding, that you'll throw up.

And warmth into these characters.

And watch you and kate.

And we experienced 16 feet of rain.

And we want the truth!

And we'll have a little jam session

And we've got a men and a women's restroom.

And we've never taken the time to,

And whack it.

And when it went under, he got a work permit,

And when we can use the phone.

And why does mother have to wait for her?

And you didn't tell me...

And you know what a garage sale is? Yeah.

And you lose weight that way?

And you refused to ask him to remove...

And you say it was an accident?

And you say it was an accident?

And you'd ask me to stay.

And, do...

And, of course, the bag will come in handy...

And, on your way home,

And, uh, in return, i'll, uh,

And...

And...

Another chute!

Another fly in the ice cube.

Another thing

Answer me!

Anteater.

Any mail for me?

Any messages?

Any more meats to celebrities.

Any more questions?

Any questions?

Any semblance of faith or trust i had in you, is gone.

Any semblance of faith or trust..

Anybody eating this corn?

Anybody have a coat hanger?

Anybody home?

Anybody there? yo!

Anyone could send shrimp.

Anything by the archies or the partridge family.

Anything else you want to tell me,

Anything it wants to.

Anything on the police scanner?

Anything on your mind?

Anything you say..

Anyway, back on melmac,

Anyway, i want to meet this thing.

Anyway, if you'll just slip 50 to mr. Fish

Anyway, we're lost.

Anyway...

Apparently not.

Apparently, it was a mistake to call you.

Aqu? Enséñame.

Are chihuahuas fast?

Are going to make a run for it.

Are having a garage sale today, too.

Are those chocolates?

Are you all right?

Are you arresting my son?

Are you asking me to stay?

Are you aware that alf was using this equipment?

Are you crazy?

Are you dictating your autobiography?

Are you going to eat this food?

Are you hiding something?

Are you kidding?

Are you listening, willie?

Are you narrating this?

Are you okay? What do you remember?

Are you putting this on tv?

Are you referring to that chemical spill?

Are you sure you don't want these in the attic?

Are you sure you don't want to sell it?

Are you sure?

Are you telling me...

Are you willing to take a chance on me?

Are you, or are you not...

Area code, 311 555 98...

Aren't you going to miss her?

Aren't you two going out?

Arguing about the t.V. Again?

Around the house?

Arrivederci.

As a cross between a kangaroo and an aardvark?

As a friend, what do you think?

As a matter of fact, mom,

As am i.

As for me, my only thought was to get back to my room,

As i told mrs. tanner, that information...

As i was saying

As it is in other situations,

As the case may be...

Ask me questions about my childhood?

Asking you to keep it down.

Asparagus?

At first, i thought it was santa claus.

At first, the two of you,

At least he can't plead insanity.

At least he cares about something other than food.

At least somebody has compassion!

At least the jockey's okay.

At least we shouldn't.

At least, i don't feel bloated.

At the airport.

At the market,

At the market, buying a decent tile cleaner.

At the same time?

At the table?

At this time of night?

Aunt mabel?

Aw, nobody reads stage directions.

Aw, stop putting yourself down.

Aw!

Away from this room?

Awww. I'll never have this finished by tomorrow.

Back on melmac.

Back with the tile cleaner.

Bacon, lucky and tomato.

Bacon, lucky, and tomato.

Bad scripts!

Badly.

Ball's in your court.

Bathroom. Gotta clean the fish.

Be afraid, be very afraid.

Be quiet, you're scaring damian.

Be right out.

Be right there.

Be strong, be strong.

Be threatened by a 6 year old?

Because "mr. Science" isn't good with tools.

Because i found my good hoe in this condition.

Because i wouldn't let him use the phone.

Because i'm turning you over to him.

Because if you are...

Because if you don't find it,

Because it's still under warranty.

Because of me?

Because of the fake bracelet incident with nina on devil's island.

Because of the way you've affected our lives.

Because she's blind?

Because that tv set stays broken.

Because they respect their audiences.

Because they trust me.

Because we don't cover hot tubs.

Because we may never see each other again.

Because we're going to need someplace...

Because you cared about me.

Because you usually mutilate all the good meat.

Because you usually mutilate all the good meat.

Because you're an alien.

Because, people would find him out.

Because, that's the end!

Because, um, ah, um

Because...

Bedroom.

Been playing the ponies?

Been taking everything. Nothing works.

Before i forget,

Before i go to bed.

Before kate gets back.

Before the family left for san diego.

Before the last rehearsal.

Before they haul you off to jail?

Before they'd blame me.

Before we moved offices,

Before you go, could i ask you a big, big favor?

Before you say another word,

Behind everyone else.

Believe it, pal.

Believe me,

Besides that

Besides the clowns,

Besides, he was beginning to fill up his bag,

Best seat in the house.

Better deal with alf.

Better than a rain gauge.

Between a kangaroo and an aardvark?

Between you and ms. Larva

Bi?, podr?S usar mucho más...

Big mistake!

Bird was out, mchale had a sprained ankle

Bizarre.

Blatella germanicus, our little prehistoric friend.

Blind?

Blind.

Bloodsucking maggots...

Blue was not my color.

Bob barker?

Bob barker.

Bock Bock Bock bock Bock Bock!

Bock Bock Bock bock Bock Bock!

Bombs, sir?

Boning the salmon?

Bookie? What bookie?

Boop. Boop. Boop.

Boop. Boop. Boop.

Boop.Boop.Boop.

Boop.Boop.Boop.

Boring!

Both!

Bottom shelf.

Boy, i did overdo the shellfish.

Boy, that place was so small,

Boy, those hbo guys mean business.

Boy, you call this a vacation!

Boy, you get irritable when it's hot

Boy, you have a couple of drinks,

Break out the refreshments!

Breast of cat

Breath mints, antacids, and moist towelettes.

Breathing into a paper bag or

Brian can't stay up until 11:00.

Brian come here. I changed this,

Brian was telling him why he can't.

Brian what's going on?

Brian, alf was just having a nightmare.

Brian, don't encourage him.

Brian, get a grip!

Brian, get out the slip N Slide.

Brian, give that to me.

Brian, go get lucky!

Brian, hide alf in the bedroom.

Brian, how about a bedtime story?

Brian, i think you're missing...

Brian, is that you?

Brian, it's me

Brian, it's time to get ready for bed, okay?

Brian, please try to understand.

Brian, sit down and fasten your seat belt.

Brian, stay with me.

Brian, they're not on here.

Brian, way to go!

Brian, we were great!

Brian, what did we say

Brian, why don't you show luis...

Brian, why?

Brian, you shouldn't lie.

Brian, you want to come try this.

Brian!

Brian!