Shameless - Season 1 Edit

A 13 year old girl.

A 200 square mile arctic squall collides with the grounds,

A benign cyst.

A big watch, too big...

A bike.

A birth certificate is just a piece of paper.

A booty call, huh?

A bum lung.

A children's home until you're 18?

A complete asshole. I know it.

A couple hundred times. Oh, yeah, with what?

A couple mil a year.

A couple months, I think.

A couple shots of Thorazine, Librium, a fist full of Prozac,

A damn thing Fiona can do about it.

A dark future

A fake priest?

A fake wedding. (laughing)

A fender bender; broke his kneecap.

A few of 'em, yeah.

A few questions.

A few times where I got high

A foster kid for a week to get the money

A frickin' dime yet.

A fucking Cessna. Can you believe that?

A fucking Monte Carlo.

A gift.

A grand to Big Lenny?

A great thing about hotels is that the toilets actually work.

A hand towel is fine.

A hearse?

A home without a legal guardian

A joint?

A kick ass you that you like and I like, too.

A kid who can get us in for free.

A large boilermaker.

A little "tomorrow person"?

A little boy in a Superman costume

A little boy.

A little girl?

A little heads up would have been nice.

A little immoral, don't you think?

A little kid in a Superman costume?

A little of both.

A long, deep, leisurely lunch.

A lot I like about the Catholic Mass.

A lot of kids over there, man.

A lot of my own rules lately,

A lot of things.

A lot of those foster kids are messed up.

A lottery? A prize.

A made up disease for people who want

A man dedicates seven years of his life

A man has to be able to look his son in the eye.

A man has to have the courage to fight the things in his nature that...

A man who doesn't even know what he wants to do.

A marriage license.

A missing two year old boy... Casey Casden.

A month ago, one of the night shift guys

A mouse?

A near death experience, or a lobotomy.

A night in a fancy hotel? You don't think I'd love to jump at that?

A peace offering.

A pen, Mr. Beerkeep. It is disability day.

A plug up his butt.

A premenstrual Filipino!

A religious sect.

A Spider Man suit?

A stolen vehicle:

A stress inducing situation; he'll be out soon.

A teddy bear.

A toaster? Who borrows a toaster?

A tragedy, really. I gave my life to that company.

A what?

A whore.

A woman who's only pleasures in life come from sex,

A woman's fertile for five days.

Aah! Fuck! Aah!

Aah! Look after Liam? I'd love to.

Aah! She's still married to me.

Aah! Wanted to know how you felt.

About 15 minutes ago.

About all we have is passion.

About an hour ago.

About being gay.

About Debbie finding that little Casey.

About JC Chasez?

About Nana Gallagher having an affair

About their education.

About this whole wedding thing.

About time you contribute

About Tony?

About what they love about themselves.

About what your dad has to say.

About you?

Above the covers.

Absolutely.

Absolutely. You sure?

Across the street.

Actually, no. Fuck off.

Actually, um... I'm getting married.

Actually, very agree.

Adjust the cameras, for old time's sake.

Admission fee.

Advil's your best bet.

Afraid if you ever do something even remotely selfish...

After all I've done for that woman?

After Aunt Ginger.

After Debbie.

After everything she's been through with her father.

After having the job for seven years.

After I noticed

After my very first taste of another woman's tongue.

After that much practice...

After that, there ain't

After the reception?

After we called the police to file a missing persons report,

After you finish your shake and fries.

Again, Debbie.

Again.

Again.

Aggravated assault, larceny and arson.

Agoraphobia.

Ah ah ah!

Ah, but at last came a knock,

Ah, Debbie, sent by God, total angel.

Ah, fine! Just kill me!

Ah, I assume Carl's burned it to the ground by now.

Ah, I knew I had it here somewhere.

Ah, it's cool. I'll hang for a bit.

Ah, man.

Ah, money well spent.

Ah, Mrs. Dombrowski.

Ah, rewards for shitting... the good old days.

Ah, shit. What?

Ah, that bitch.

Ah! Ah!

Ah! Mother of god!

Ah! SONY

Ah! Too tight, too tight. Listen, um..

Ah.

Ah.

Ah.

Ah. Little known fact: Don't just chew your food on one side.

Ah. She coming back?

Aha!

Aha.

Ahem.

Ahem. Pick up hockey game.

AIDS needles. Okay.

Al's Beef, sweet peppers. I had them bring it over.

Alhamdu lillah!

All alone...

All around me, and I'm missing out.

All at the same time.

All dads are assholes.

All day, all she does is make decisions. Five kids, fucking Frank.

All eight games next season.

All finished.

All I could smell was Drakkar Noir.

All I wanted was to own my own home

All new health and safety rules,

All of it.

All of your shit.

All quiet up the wooden hill?

All right if leave my number for when you might be?

All right, all right, listen up, everybody.

All right, all right! Jesus!

All right, all right. Come on. Calm down.

All right, call me back.

All right, can you do this?

All right, Carl, you know that pay phone that's outside

All right, come on!

All right, Deb, here's the spare!

All right, Eddie.

All right, fine.

All right, Fiona,

All right, Frank, I am ready.

All right, Frankie. Okay.

All right, hey, Debbie's still is a little kid.

All right, I am your father.

All right, I got you.

All right, I got you.

All right, I guess it doesn't really matter...

All right, I'll tell you what we're gonna do here, miss.

All right, I've apologized. Isn't that enough?

All right, it says here

All right, it's getting kind of windy.

All right, let's get started. Gladys, can you get the lights?

All right, let's go find you some chores to do.

All right, look, she obviously planned it.

All right, meet me by the L at 11:00.

All right, name a single time I've let you down.

All right, one for the big daddy... Now for the mama.

All right, one.

All right, the results say

All right, then, uh, Eddie's just down in the basement.

All right, they're ready. Aha.

All right, Veronica, I want you to go

All right, well Bob, we're just in the way here

All right, well,

All right, well, get me a case of Old Style tall boys, will ya?

All right, well, I guess

All right, whatever

All right? All right.

All right? I got a gal..

All right? It's $50.

All right? We're gonna have hurka Mm!

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right. Ah...

All right. Come back tonight. I'll give you the 10 grand.

All right. Fine.

All right. It's freezing in here.

All right. Open his mouth.

All right. Task at hand.

All right. Uh, it's Gallagher.

All right. Um... okay.

All right. What do we got going on here?

All right. You two sick fucks are cut off.

All set! Turn her on!

All six of you.

All that?

All the free shit, baby!

All the indications being that I'm getting a second chance...

All the loans and credit scores and all that.

All the O.D.'s and pumped stomachs.

All the wives?

All they do is talk about their husbands and their jobs

All we have to do is...

All you had to do is drive the car and park it.

All you white folks scooping up black babies like fashion accessories

ALL: Amen!

Alley. Alley!

Alloy wheels...

Almost had to give you a knee to the groin.

Along with something about my penis being enormous and all powerful.

Already lost one best work friend.

Already off to the bank. No, no.

Also, I told Richie that your rates went up,

Although I have no idea what that has to do with kids

Although still single, are enjoying

Always dragging home some poor stray he found, taking them up to his room.

Always remember where you park the follow car.

Am I going to have to learn how to do that when I start having sex?

Amateur.

Amazing! Really good!

Amen.

An afterthought.

An apology.

An dray ah. An dray ah.

An hour and 54 minutes. Now that's a record.

An ingrown hair.

An old lady for a few hours.

An opportunity to be the mother I never could be.

And a Dodge Astro van.

And a great big teddy bear.

And a handicapped placard to hang from the mirror of his mom's Civic.

And a life and everything, but seeing it and...

And a meeting with his legal guardian is the next step.

And a round for all my friends from the UAW

And a stripper pole in that place.

And actually helping, that you'll like it.

And after I wash up, why don't I make us all some nice supper?

And aim for the knees next time, huh? Pays more than ribs.

And Allied Shippers can kiss her fine black ass.

And and Fiona's my sister and you're my brother

And and peaches. I need to get some peaches.

And as it turns out, most people's testicles.

And bars weren't...

And base in nature, and for that I am

And became the perfect dad.

And before you know it,

And before you know it, you're 30

And being Mrs. Kevin Ball.

And birds...

And Bolognese ragu you can eat.

And brain scan.

And by "people like me" you mean people like what?

And called the police.

And Carl made something blow up for his science fair.

And Carl's probably just acting out

And Casey's parents are probably really worried about him.

And changing the plates right now.

And chop his pedophile nuts off.

And clear this whole thing up.

And collect extra child support.

And congratulations, Mom.

And crying.

And cute when they do it!

And Dad's you.

And Debbie and Carl,

And deliver the check to your aunt in person?

And did you try to call anyone else?

And do it in person.

And do it on the tire swing?

And do you know why?

And don't call me "sir."

And don't throw it, please.

And don't you ever, ever

And down, down, down, down, down, down, down.

And drawing maximum benefits from the welfare state.

And dress him like a little girl?

And fence stolen goods.

And fight the Vietcong

And fishing...

And for dinner she made pork loin with caramelized apples

And for what?

And forgot to walk it to the payment center.

And free delivery.

And from that point on, you won't be able to hold a job very long

And get a real job, not just dipping into the collection plate at St. Tim's.

And get labeled as intolerant.

And get yourself some juice.

And getting sick and...

And go where?

And God bless my husband Clyde.

And God bless the other wives,

And have no memory of it?

And he has been taking such good care of me

And he just licked that one.

And he just stopped there.

And he tested out of English.

And he wants to get into the National Merit Society.

And he was too lazy

And he'll need money for food.

And he's comin' for the rest of me.

And he's not exactly shy about outing those achievements. Hello?

And he's out.

And hello to you, too, my firstborn.

And her dad, he...

And her mother?

And his Glucosamine/Chondroitin supplement...

And his microwave.

And hit him with an axe?

And hit us with some hefty fines.

And Hot Pockets.

And how did Lorenzo get the big E?

And how do we usually respond?

And how old are you?

And how was the 30 seconds of bliss?

And I am not going to start now.

And I am off to the store.

And I am ready to go.

And I appreciate that, Fiona.

And I asked people who were passing

And I can't find my cell. My cell's gone.

And I could use a little help from you all now.

And I could use a new rolling pin and flour sifter.

And I didn't even know you had a brother.

And I didn't want you to get in trouble, because I love you.

And I don't want you two getting hurt.

And I got a brand new test we just finished creating,

And I got the oldest bottle of Asti Spumanti!

And I got this little guy to keep my honest.

And I just love you so much.

And I need her in the game for at least a few more years.

And I only touched one...

And I pushed her off, and now she's mad.

And I thought of the door

And I thought, maybe this is the little boy

And I will cut you in... Oh, fuck you, Frank!

And I will open the door.

And I will slit your throat while you sleep.

And I will slit your throat while you sleep.

And I... You did PCP?

And I'd like to ask you a few questions.

And I'll bring you some construction paper.

And I'll finish it if you lay a finger on her.

And I'm gonna sing a song. It goes,

And I'm here to observe the home visit today.

And I'm not afraid to use it!

And I'm pretty sure bigamy is still a felony

And I'm pretty sure you can't get married if you already are.

And I'm really, really doing great.

And Ian.

And if James Franco wasn't in the movie,

And if she is, tell her...

And in my house, the way to get closer

And install it in the kitchen.

And is blackmailing Kash into having another kid.

And it sort of freaked me out.

And it will protect me like this house protects me.

And it's clear that you are a stranger.

And it's dedicated to my daddy...

And it's gonna change our lives too much.

And it's supposed to be a beautiful day today.

And just keep drinking.

And Kash shot Mickey because of me,

And Katie Jordan was super Catholic,

And keep 'em comin'.

And keep your government job, and I get to eat.

And kick the little brat to the curb.

And leave Monica for her apologies.

And length.

And let's face it, I'm too small!

And let's see, what else do we have?

And Liam

And Liam! Come say hello to me, son.

And Liam's down for a nap.

And like two months later,

And liking it will lead

And Lip said, "Dad's the only one

And Lip, he's top of his class.

And make sure you ask lots of questions

And maybe some small kitchen appliances

And me, Frank Gallagher, father, teacher, mentor.

And money... money is just a piece of paper.

And Mrs. Gallagher.

And my ancestors and I take full credit for crucifying that Christ putz.

And my monoamine oxidase inhibitor.

And my selective serotonin re uptake inhibitor

And never look back.

And no reading under the covers.

And no sex in it.

And nobody fed him.

And not pay you back.

And nothing below the waist!

And now I never will!

And now it's our house.

And now with all those kid actors grown up,

And now you're just crazy.

And now, how about

And on a Sunday.

And once, I felt his...

And one of the dancers broke her foot.

And our parents wouldn't worry that we were gonna get stolen

And pay for it with what?

And pledge yourself to be pure again, in the eyes of the Lord.

And punching and hurting people.

And raise them as my own.

And Rastafarians are allowed to roam free.

And she didn't know.

And she drowned in her own vomit last Easter.

And she has to pick it up. Just say that.

And she looks like she might actually have a law degree.

And she says that she'd like

And she was a real princess.

And she was, like, "Well, then, you're not my friend anymore."

And she wound up with the house.

And she... didn't invite you?

And she'll be right as rain.

And she'll say it happened accidentally.

And since when do pork rinds come from a pig?

And sing "The Star Spangled Banner."

And smelling it...

And Sox tickets for his birthday. So, what does that make you, Lip?

And started experimenting with guys and girls

And started soaping each other up,

And Steve was definitely gone by then,

And support you two.

And surprise her when the time is right.

And take it again for another kid.

And take what he wants?

And talk in private?

And tell a doctor's kind of lie.

And tell him I want the gun back. Tonight.

And tell him to get us the six grand he owes.

And tenured imbeciles

And that basic approach underpins

And that forgiveness is the first step on the stairway to heaven.

And that is some slow roasted Bavarian pork chop,

And that's what the Lord wants.

And that's why I want you to go back to prison.

And the booze, can you tell me

And the day is good.

And the dorm and your meal card.

And the effect that has on incentives

And the good ones are all gone.

And the house all to yourself.

And the kids.

And the less she does, the more they pay her.

And the money is all yours...

And the moral of the story is?

And the name of the child.

And the old folks at my nursing home.

And the only way to numb the pain of underachieving

And the sooner we face it,

And their dental plans.

And their moms aren't much nicer.

And then come back first thing in the morning.

And then her mom walked in and freaked out

And then I end up owing like a half million bucks, right?

And then report back to me.

And then there was the time at Mindy Carlson's sleepover

And then tonight, I see you there again.

And then we'll talk about you working in construction."

And then you have to wait until they get divorced,

And then you promised to do hers next week?

And then you'll be angry at yourself

And then, if I kick his ass to the curb,

And then, um... just two Tylenol.

And then, well, more than three

And there are all of these people...

And there was some swerving.

And there's a little maple syrup for you.

And they all thought it was funny then

And they enter our space for a moment.

And they're for her.

And they're teaching me the dance steps

And this douche with a video cam has to show up.

And this is breast cancer.

And this is your first felony bust?

And to think I was over there, drinking,

And today is the day.

And toltott tojas and rakott krumpli!

And tweaked the staid scientific establishment at every turn.

And uh, I hit a double.

And unfortunately, there are steps the state requires

And very well manned for a toddler.

And we can buy you candy, and cars!

And we can offer competitive benefits.

And we do this today?

And we invalidate the ones that aren't legitimate.

And we let 'em think we're assimilating.

And we live in the 1700's,

And we should make our exit

And we were playing "Loser Goes to Gitmo."

And we'd have to prove your parents incompetent?

And we've got eggs.

And wearing a Superman costume.

And what do I get for my pain and suffering?

And what exactly does "hooked up" mean?

And what our faith may be.

And what's that?

And what's that? Well...

And when he smiles, we all smile.

And when I got back, the car was gone.

And while we may not be the legal guardians of our brother,

And while you're knocking 'em back,

And who says Frank's done dumping babies in your lap to raise?

And why are all the news ladies Chinese?

And why Canada?

And why do you roll smoke

And will the guy behind door number one be

And with luck,

And would you like one, sir?

And you argue that the main character

And you could shave the other two.

And you fed him.

And you get your ass fired.

And you guys started looking for him, and when you found him,

And you guys were really, really into him for like, two weeks.

And you have to report his ass to the po po.

And you hit me back.

And you know what, they did it all, no thanks to you!

And you know what?

And you know, doctors make the worst patients.

And you look at the person next to you, and you say,

And you need to learn how to change your own diaper.

And you need to see somebody.

And you prefer a guy who's been around the block a few times. What if I do?

And you talked to him,

And you think it it's funny?

And you took him everywhere with you, right?

And you were dancing next to a red haired girl in a green dress.

And you, so young and sexy and taut and tight.

And you'd always tag along with me, wherever I went?

And you're absolutely right.

And you're all looking at me like I'm fucking up.

And you're going balls deep in that?

And you're gonna take care of this car,

And you're happy with that?

And you're here now.

And you're talking about stealing my baby brother.

And your father,

And, and a teddy bear.

And, and ask if Monica is there.

And, and ask if Monica is there.

And, in fact, as soon as he gets down to the bottom,

And, of course,

And, uh, someone's got to get a beat down till we find him.

And, uh, we need Frank.

And...

And...

And... But I'm...

And... now that we're aware of it...

Andy, get the fuck out of here. I'm not gonna...

Angelica's Bakery, right? Yeah, right.

Angelica's Bakery.

Anne's school called, she's sick. Everything up to 204 is clean

Another cool thing about hotels is that you don't have to saw your own meat.

Another JB.

Another Old Style? Yep.

Answering phones at some office in Cermak or sambaing in Rio?

Any advice?

Any bigger, Dad.

Any calls, Kate?

Any chance I can borrow this?

Any chance of you getting a job, now that you're sober?

Any coupons for meat?

Any day now.

Any information would be greatly appreciated.

Any minute, usually.

Any pizza left from last night?

Anybody before Kash?

Anybody got a spare pair of shoes I could borrow?

Anybody here?

Anybody need some more pop?

Anybody notice that I'm bleeding?

Anybody seen Frank the Plank?

Anybody seen Ian?

Anyone seen the laptop?

Anyone want to make some Tollhouse cookies with me?

Anything else?

Anything else?

Anything float your boat, Frank?

Anything we wanted for dinner on our birthday.

Anything?

Anyway, 3:00 on the dot.

Anyway, after dinner, she cut some berries for dessert.

Anyway, prizes will be given out

Anyways, forms are... It's so much fun, actually.

Apologies?

Apology?

Apple pie,

Apple salsa fresca,

Approximately two years of age,

Are both your parents still alive?

Are certainly amongst the biggest discoveries

Are doing the food, so there'll be all the kielbasa

Are either gay and agree,

Are going to have layoffs again.

Are Lip and Ian home?

Are Lloyd and Candace Lishman.

Are the Gallaghers in our bathroom?

Are the meetings really that bad?

Are those pain pills?

Are we still on for Friday night?

Are we still related?

Are you cold?

Are you coming home for dinner?

Are you drunk?

Are you fucking kidding me?

Are you fucking kidding me?!

Are you going to tell Fiona?

Are you going to tell Fiona?

Are you gonna tell Fiona?

Are you good with numbers?

Are you guys going to make a baby while we watch Cosmos?

Are you guys hot?

Are you kidding me?

Are you kidding me? I'm fine.

Are you looking at?!

Are you okay?

Are you screwing my sister's boyfriend?

Are you screwing my sister's boyfriend?

Are you serious?

Are you serious? Mm hmm.

Are you serious? Sorry about that.

Are you stalking me?

Are you still picking up the cake?

Are you stupid or just hard of hearing?

Are you sure

Are you sure that's such a good idea?

Are you sure that's such a good idea?

Are you sure this is even the right store? Yes.

Are you talking about Ethel?

Are you there?

Are you thinking about kicking his ass to the curb?

Are you with someone right now?

Aren't you a little bit curious

Aren't you a single parent?

Aren't you risking your parole?

Aren't you?

Arson? Who we talkin' about?

As a foster kid, too?

As a result,

As big as mine.

As he would dining on our croc tamer's hand.

As if nothing had happened.

As in failed?

As in fucked.

As in unsatisfactory.

As kids, we were told to keep our hugs brief.

As long as I've been fucking Fiona for.

As quiet as it ever gets.

As soon as he starts drinking again.

As soon as possible,

As we used to call him, he was very devout.

Ash...

Asian cowboy? Don't think so.

Ask Carl if he'll come out and get in the stroller.

Ask me what I got him, huh? Ask me.

Ask Moni

Asking questions about you.

Asking you to applaud with gratitude

Asking you to bless me... Separated from her kid?

Ass is kind of small; not really my type.

Ass, gas and cash.

Ass, gas and cash.

Assface.

Asshole!

Asshole.

Asshole.

At 3:00.

At 5:00?

At least 50 bucks.

At least I can. Proves I'm wanted.

At least I don't shit in a bag.

At least they've got a reason to be pissed.

At least Tony's not coming here

At McNally Construction.

At my house, all the wives split the chores.

At Oak Woods Cemetery.

At St. Stephens.

At Steve, like a D O G in heat.

At the Denny's over on West 95th Street.

At the embassy in Toronto.

At the house, saying that Ginger cashes her checks in Chicago?

At the idea of not being Frank's, and

At the Little Red Schoolhouse when we were five.

At the Purity Ball tonight.

At the same time.

At the store.

At the top of the Sears Tower.

At, like, 2:45.

Atoms and masses...

Attempt to take the bracelet off, light turns red.

Attention, all residents.

Attention: This is the Chicago Police Department.

Attention: This is the Chicago...

Attention: This is...

Attention! This is the Chicago...

Attorneys.

Attractive, professional...

Aunt Ginger has to go back?

Aunt Ginger has to go back?

Aunt Ginger.

Aunt Lucy.

Aunt Rochelle, Uncle Bobby, and cousin Jimmy with the...

Auto show last week.

Aw, fuck off!

Aw, now... now...

Aw, Sheila, you're making me feel like Cinderella.

Aw, shit.

Aw, what are you, a tough guy, Steve?

Aw, you remember.

Aw.

Aw.

Aw. Oh, that's so nice!

Aw...

Aw...

Away from me.

Awesome!