It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia - Season 4 Edit

A bunch of bowlings, kick me out. So I waited to this time of the day,

A bunch of hamsters on a wheel.

A car and, uh, annihilate any traces of a human being.

A couple last minute things.

A few weeks ago, they came to apologize for getting me arrested.

A giant check made out of our cash, and we've got to get that back.

A glory hole?

A look is going to be a big part of this. I'm going to get some disguises.

A lot of people are bugging their babies these days.

A man can wear a woman's shoe.

A nice port,

A pair of poofs about town.

A poop that can be traced back to Dee!

A producer, get some kind of a TV development deal.

A pumpkin off his head, and of course I did, so here we are.

A quick jog in Fairmont Park by myself.

A secret portal created as a passage way

A sexually active person should have a rash.

A simple no would have sufficed.

A symbol of my vote and love for this competion.

A terrible thing to do...

A top of the morning to both of you!

A turd merger...

A viral video? There's about a billion of those on YouTube. Who gives a shit?

A, uh, Perfect Strangers type of deal.

About this whole tie up and hold you here thing.

About three days ago, a couple of pink slips came in the mail.

About you guys being able to get in touch with Jon Bon Jovi.

Absolutely great idea. Bring the neighbors in.

Absolutely not. Why would you want to be naked?

Absolutely, bro. I will find this guy and I will kick his ass.

Absolutely.

Absolutely. I feel good, too.

Absolutely. Jesus had, like, the best abs. He had the right idea.

Accidents happen, right?

According to the Philadelphia Police Department,

Actually, I'm just gonna stick around.

Actually, make mine a water.

Actually, maybe Frank has a point, dude.

Actually, no. He had some pretty sweet moves, but I totally...

Actually, that is why we're here. Uh, we drew up this declaration.

Actually, we're here because we want to get our bar certified as a historic landmark.

Actually, yeah.

Addressed to me so I buy myself a couple more days.

Admit it, come on!

Admit it, dude. You totally cried.

After the rain

Ah, hello to you, sirs, and to you, ladies.

Ah, Jesus Christ, that guy's not even wearing a mask.

Ah, Jesus, what are we doing here, man?

Ah, my van.

Ah, very nice rod. Go with that rod.

Ah, well, Colonel, we are the owners of the fine

Ah... yeah, actually I wanted to talk to you about that aspect of it.

Aho.

Ain't no Jesus here... except

All I could scrounge up was a bandana

All I know is we need to find insurance ASAP.

All it got me was a stab wound in the leg

All over their nice furniture? I mean, that doesn't make sense.

All right

All right now, let's think.

All right, a glass of white wine, maybe a chardonnay.

All right, admit it, that Muslim guy was gonna rub me out,

All right, all right. Just let me go to the bathroom.

All right, and what is the reason you're requesting a loan today?

All right, aye aye aye aye aye aye aye aye!

All right, barrel number six is done, dudes.

All right, buddy, good luck!

All right, buddy, now explain to me how exactly we're going to

All right, but back up, 'cause I don't want the glass to shatter at your face.

All right, come on.

All right, could you give me a second with... with the talent here?

All right, Dee, I'll tell you what, here's the plan.

All right, Dennis.

All right, dude, new plan.

All right, everybody. Before we begin today,

All right, fine, but one other thing.

All right, fine.

All right, give me his hands.

All right, guys, I think it's time we cut our losses and go back

All right, guys!

All right, hey, it's time to move on.

All right, how about this?

All right, I got to get this.

All right, I swear to God I'm gonna leave you alone.

All right, I'll tell you what.

All right, I'll tell you what. We'll get back to the bar.

All right, I'm going to gun this car as fast as it goes

All right, I'm gonna be the only one wearing the belt?

All right, I'm gonna get back to my office, and then...

All right, I'm into that.

All right, judges' side bar.

All right, just go ahead and sign right there, and we're all set.

All right, let me ask you a question, then.

All right, let me just stop you right there.

All right, let's do it.

All right, let's do this.

All right, let's get back to business here.

All right, let's get out of here.

All right, let's go talk to Corman.

All right, listen, bro. I need you to do me a favor.

All right, look.

All right, Luther, today's the day.

All right, man.

All right, now, excuse me.

All right, now, keep it down because I'm a very light sleeper.

All right, now, let's stop talking and start banging.

All right, perfect. Can't go back on it.

All right, plan B.

All right, screw this shit. If no one likes the song, I'm going to cut the song.

All right, so I start marching my way down to Carol in HR,

All right, that's cool. That's cool, I guess.

All right, that's crazy. That's like, that's insane.

All right, then, gentlemen, I got a new plan.

All right, this guy did, so there you go.

All right, this is Felix's pile.

All right, this is messy.

All right, well, good luck to you on that.

All right, well, I think I should get it.

All right, well, I'm pretty sure I was sleeping like this that night.

All right, well, just let me do the talking.

All right, well, let's do some cardio since we're here.

All right, well, let's not have him ask more questions.

All right, well, methinks the rod to be the most suitable for our purposes.

All right, well, now we're getting somewhere.

All right, well, thank you for coming in.

All right, well, then, just breathe for me. Feel what I'm doing.

All right, well, this is not the '70s. You're going to do theater with your clothes on, please.

All right, well, you don't seem like...

All right, what do you suggest?

All right, whatever.

All right, whatever. Thank you.

All right, where are all my male models?

All right, who the hell's this character you're doing?

All right, you do the wrecking ball thing... Check this out.

All right, you got the store card now

All right, you know what, let's just...

All right, you know what? Let's just do it again,

All right, you see that?

All right! The three...

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right. Don't embarrass yourself.

All right. Geez, relax.

All right. Later, dudes!

All right. Well, leave the pumpkin out of it.

All rightie, then. See you soon. Bye bye.

All that stuff if you see the musical. That's how much this means to me.

All this bomb making shit and they'll arrest his money stealing ass.

Also inconclusive.

Am I peeing?

Americans are so uptight.

And a good natured lady.

And a new life just like on Extreme Makeover on TV.

And also, I'm not making out with Dennis later.

And as such, the honor has been bestowed upon all of you

And blend in with British culture, we need to walk the walk

And Bruce and me and help.

And buy some gasoline to burn the car.

And by the way,

And can we finish this rehearsal?

And Charlie did it.

And Charlie, and so they both pooped.

And check out his cane.

And come back, and pissed in the fountain.

And come back, and pissed in the fountain.

And cut them out with this.

And Dee carried it unknowingly until she arrived here and the lights

And do you realize how extreme this is?

And duties that include

And eliminate working out, which we know blows?

And for more than just a billboard.

And forever, and forever...

And Frank is the muscle.

And get him to do an acoustic set on my deathbed.

And get some shut eye. I'm running on fumes.

And good bye, Juarez family.

And good luck with your sick cat.

And have actual problems.

And have never had sex with a child..

And he heard every word.

And he's coming to kill you.

And hear me out on this one. It's a little weird.

And his fancy newspaper talk. It's bullshit!

And how much Sears products save people's lives!

And hunt begins!

And I also held up my end of the bargain, so I never have to see you again.

And I am available to any interested men.

And I am in love with you.

And I count how much gas is going into the car.

And I curse both of you and all of your stupid guns.

And I got a paper trail to prove it.

And I got these cute little brown PJs so that she gets

And I had to drink all the beer.

And I just had a little bit too much ice cream.

And I just ran and sweated for absolutely nothing?

And I knock on her door, and I say,

And I know, Artemis, you did write "soul", right?

And I think that'll come in handy in this situation.

And I walked down the hallway with the bedpan.

And I was explicitly clear: no more Green Man.

And I was going to unleash them on the world in a fiery blaze of eroticism.

And I was, like, "That makes more sense."

And I will burn some other things. You know maybe like these,

And I would like to request a private bedside concert

And I... Mac, why don't you get started on the family makeover with Dee

And I'll take...

And I'll tell you why.

And I'm gonna eat it.

And if you bring this up back at the apartment tonight,

And it gets us into trouble.

And it's about caring and Sears and...

And it's not about your feelings right now, it's about

And it's not wasting a single thing.

And it's the most important muscle in the entire body.

And its ashes buried in an unmarked grave somewhere by the river.

And let's find something to blow up a car.

And like a small brown snail...

And make danger for all of us.

And make sure that Charlie left without a trace.

And malnourished turd.

And massacre the entire lot of rebels.

And maybe the chest area and possibly the groin

And maybe you're underneath me or on top of me, you know, they won't see us.

And Mr. Kelly, in your sworn statement to police, you claim

And my nightmare in that putrid, shithole of a bar, Paddy's Pub,

And never see you two bitches again.

And now I am in love with you.

And now since I'm his next of kin the house belongs to me.

And now two heavy coats? I mean,

And now you're gonna be skittish about the sex party?

And now, I'm going to give them the one gun salute.

And oh, yeah, I'm not gonna go anywhere.

And Paddy's Pub, then known, of course, as Patrick's Pub,

And plus, he just heard everything you just said

And pretty soon, all of the slaves are gonna be free, and I will be owned by no man.

And put you back together

And said he stole a bunch of guns and asked if I wanted to shoot

And see if I can fire off a couple phrases.

And she stabbed me in the leg with the goddamn scissors

And she whispered in my ear,

And smash the window and we'll just pop the trunk.

And so he cleaned up the mess and wandered the streets,

And so raw, so base, so utterly human.

And some beer.

And some cop started harassing me.

And some of the stuff you've been doing with this mannequin here, that's like...

And start murdering people.

And start playing the piano.

And stick it through the hole.

And stop talking about the wedding dress.

And take it away from Charlie and ruin his hopes and dreams.

And take the rubble outside and probably burn that, too.

And that is the way it's gonna go from here.

And that was awful for me.

And that's the shorts.

And that's what I learned.

And that's when you jumped out of the van after I got out!

And that's where he came upon his old friend, Rickety Cricket.

And the EMT says basically I'm like a ticking time bomb

And the gang. And the gang likes to screw it up and make it about themselves

And the most important stuff, that gets delivered, although,

And the will is in place.

And then convincing your friends your family that you're dead.

And then depending on how horrific that looks,

And then did you go crazy? Just looking everything in your apartment,

And then Frank could throw that blanket that he's got right there

And then he couldn't drop the she male thing,

And then he thinks we're dead, and he leaves us alone.

And then I did some good deeds and boom, I'm rich. Mansion rich.

And then I was putting some cheese in the rat traps.

And then I'll fill in the blanks later. Then that way, we'll have a confession,

And then I'll hop up sort of like a cat, like so.

And then I'll put it out with this.

And then in the morning, they'll come out and find him.

And then Rob Thomas, the lead singer of Matchbox 20, was there too.

And then sprinkle it with shaved pubes.

And then we'll come back and work out.

And then when I walk out, I'm gonna put a bunch of metal

And then when I wasn't around, I saw him smashing one.

And then you can collect up the man's cart.

And then you give up the minute we hit the first speed bump.

And then you stopped, right?

And then you wake me up, and then we'll switch it off.

And then you went and did it again the next night?

And then you're going to eat my butt until your stomach is full of butt.

And then, they trick the viewers into buying shit.

And then, uh, we're gonna build them a new house

And then, we'll throw a couple layers of paint up,

And there's a lot of hay and there's some chickens and ducks.

And they didn't even ask me to be part of it.

And they took my goddamn tool belt.

And this is Sinbad's house, and you my bitch!

And this is what the gas prices will be.

And this time, maybe add a few less lies.

And those are pretty regular in my life,

And three.

And unfortunately, it's no longer legit.

And we can do that, do some bonding, go over the best friend

And we cross reference the samples?

And we get a little more serious about this whole murder thing.

And we recreate them.

And we roll him up in it.

And we thought maybe if he saw or he's near to hot plate one more time...

And we'll be healthy as all hell.

And we're dead to the world.

And we've got to prove it.

And what are those?

And what I can do is thrust this way, and you can struggle.

And when he breaks your heart, I'll be here to pick up the pieces

And when I open the door, what do I find?

And while I admit it would be awesome to be hobos,

And who aren't obsessed with poop.

And why are our costumes so much more elaborate than everybody

And yes my friends, in a way, you're all guilty.

And you know what, Charlie? You shouldn't be making these decisions anyway, okay?

And you know what's going to do that, learning the song, the way it's written.

And you know why?

And you let me watch.

And you never woke up in a rehab facility with the wounds of Christ

And you think that was bad.

And you want him to think that you're going to take a dump or...?

And you will never, ever be on that billboard.

And you, you shouldn't be drinking in a shoe store.

And you'd better hope that you don't have any food in your stomach.

And you'll die in five to ten minutes,

And you're going to see what it's like to live in the real world

And you're hiding up on the roof

And you're not getting any high ride.

And you're not gonna call me at 3:00 in the morning and tell me that

And your connections anyway.

And your men in hopes that it will fuel the British to victory.

And, on the bottom, you have a hilarious picture of Green Man

And, then, that way we can slip you in and out with ease.

And, uh, we're going to play a song that was a favorite of theirs.

And, uh, yes, good Colonel, we present this ale to you

And... here comes the pitch.

Angry.

Anonymous sex that we're looking for, right?

Another place,

Any minute now, the German broad is gonna knock on that wall,

Any more?

Any sight of him?

Anything can happen on a runway, Dennis.

Anything goes here.

Anything?

Apocalypto.

Approach.

Are drafting a declaration... a declaration of independence.

Are gonna try and cut a deal with this weasel.

Are safe for the mighty soul...

Are there any physical ailments that I should know about first?

Are you buying this?

Are you crazy?

Are you crazy?

Are you feeling better today?

Are you going to drink the beer?

Are you happy?

Are you kidding me?

Are you kidding me?

Are you kidding me? Bro, they definitely do controlled burns

Are you kidding me? Gasoline's, like, a thousand times more expensive than electricity.

Are you kidding me? That is extremely racist.

Are you kidding? You never do this.

Are you okay? Are you dying?

Are you peeing?

Are you still going on about the meat?

Are you still going on and on about being a cooler?

Are you sure we have to do this?

Are you sure you're all right?

Are you sure?

Are you sure? How does that movie end, dude?

Are you there, Blood Brother Two?

Artemis was kind enough to book for us this fine local theater.

Artemus, can you bring in Gladys?

As far as I know, you don't speak Latin.

As much as me? Really?

As part of the walking tour of Philly.

As soon as I left Dennis's place, I realized I don't have a car,

As the brains of this organization, I should've made this decision.

As we possibly can for that Colonel Cricket.

As you can see, the mattresses are stacked three high,

As you can see, the ramp is about 40 feet down there.

At a certain point, I need you to stop telling the Calvin Coolidge story

At a goddamn orgy, Frank?

At last, the boy's soul is mine.

At least give him his mail.

At least, he didn't mention our names.

At Patrick's Pub to speak of war and revolution.

At the last possible second,

At this point 'cause it was just a little one.

Attached at the arms and back and all over my pants.

Attention, ladies, I'm gonna need all the A cups to

Aw, man, I got to tell you, this is awesome.

Awesome! All right, now I'm gonna pretend that I have terminal cancer

Awesome.

Back to the top. Five, six, seven, eight...

Bad ass.

Bag 'em and bring 'em with us. Come on.

Bag yourselves, too, because I want this to be a surprise.

Barney?! Who the hell is Barney?!

Barney. He's the guy who tipped me off to Pepe Silvia.

Baseball.

Beautiful.

Beautiful.

Because Dennis takes them all in at the thighs to accentuate his female form.

Because he always wears it with no shirt and a shitload of cologne.

Because I am honorable man.

Because I cut the brakes! Wild card, bitches!

Because I have 10,000 rats running around my building, Dee, okay?!

Because I work very hard cleaning it.

Because I'm a better smasher than you guys!

Because in the '70s, everybody did theater naked.

Because it's dead meat, and dead meat is bad meat.

Because it's your bar, and we're gonna drink for free.

Because like most comedians, Sinbad is very angry on the inside.

Because our makeover is gonna be so much more extreme than yours.

Because poop is funny.

Because that was Robocop's name.

Because that's like a law.

Because the blanket will make the rapings... I'm sorry,

Because the public loves those crazy celebrity stories and rehab shit.

Because the video alone won't be evidence enough because of the angle.

Because we are not working with our full crew.

Because we were planning on using your construction experience

Because we're bored of shit.

Because when you perform, your nerves make you dry heave,

Because you and I are best friends.

Because you eat rat cheese and cat food and huff glue all day long?

Because you look pretty busted.

Because you're stealing my food.

Because, dude, we need to get as much intel from these guys

Because, every time you're involved, you get all excited about something,

Been creating over the past several years, to put them on tape,

Been having diarrhea?

Been noticing coming in, which I do not appreciate.

Before I head off to Paddy's.

Before us, right now.

Before you do that, why don't you open that window

Before you fall asleep 'cause I don't want you to piss on the couch again.

Before you go sticking anything through that hole,

Before you start accusing us of becoming cannibals or sharks or whatever is you're trying to say,

Before, uh, Mac and Charlie died they made a slideshow

Best friend one, over and out.

Best friends, which is total bullshit because you know

Big deal, look at me.

Big time! But I want to do business

Bite my bird. What are you eating?

Blood Brother One to Blood Brother Two.

Blood Brother One, over and out!

Body bag.

Bonnie, Bonnie, Bonnie, aww, it's going to be okay.

Boom!

Boom! You got fazed again, Corman.

Both of you are eating wolf?

Both.

Boys... get the tar.

Braininess, and those two are very different things.

Bring 'em to us, you know?

Brings the tribe together.

Bro, can you believe how many hot chicks showed up for a

Bro, half the stories you just read us are total bullshit.

Bro, he's been talking about this modeling thing for years.

Bro, I really..

Bro, I'm not sure I have the right look here

Bro, it's 1776. They don't have any rights.

Bro, like, I say something, and then you, like,

Bro, okay, you know what?

Bro, originally, my plan was to just bang a bunch of models, right?

Bro, that is bad ass.

Bro, they're Americans now. Americans don't hold on to the past.

Bro, you have wasted out time.

Bro... you wore the battery down.

Brought it along.

Bruce is not banging any baby dudes.

Bruce Mathis is about to give away all of Mom's money.

Bruce's, we slip in and we grab him.

Burmington Coat Factory.

But 2008 Dennis is in decline.

But a lot... a lot of times, you got to count that much.

But alas, my love cannot mend our differences.

But at least we managed to avoid arson charges, right?

But Charlie and I had a suicide pact, and I have to honor that

But Charlie overlooked the fact that Dennis listens to Mac's phone calls

But don't come in too early 'cause I got some material

But he didn't realize that a futon slept on by the weight of

But I am not happy about it, lady.

But I did bring some plastic bags.

But I did notice that the kidnapping has rubbed him the wrong way.

But I don't really give a shit either way because

But I feel like that was the look of the times.

But I got to say, I don't care for it.

But I happen to think this bathroom is pristine

But I have a sneaking suspicion it's pretty good.

But I have explained this to you, Dee.

But I need proof if I'm gonna sell him down the river.

But I'm a good boss, and I'm gonna allow you to watch

But I'm not convinced you know what it means.

But I'm not going to let you guys be involved

But I'm thinking there's some strange going on with this meat, such a wish.

But if no one's actually seeing us jump out of the car...

But if we put some hot beefcake up there, maybe it'll attract more chicks.

But it was working until you got in with the bullshit numbers.

But it would be nice if he was involved. Question:

But it's a dangerous game you're playing, Frank.

But it's not the poop.

But most importantly, you banged each other.

But not to her butt.

But now I am a man

But on to the final poop!

But tea bagging doesn't even leave a mark!

But the shorts aren't preventing me from doing what I need to do.

But then the casting director called, and they were, like,

But then this morning, there's another piece of poop in the exact same spot.

But then you brought him back to a place where he's already been,

But then, one day, the book just sort of went mysteriously missing.

But we do need to keep him here for a couple of hours

But we should not be threatening each other with

But we're oil men. We would have Southern accents.

But what function is it gonna serve in the home?

But what I do need is I need the company credit card so that

But when I was making this decision,

But which of you gentlemen happens to be

But why are you eating it?

But why were you guys pretending that you were dead anyway?

But yeah, sure, I'll take some fat burner... why not?

But you can't see through the wall, so how do you know it's not a girl?

But you got such tiny boots on.

But you just said that I taught you about inner beauty and respect.

But you should know that we would have no problem suing you.

But you wouldn't go away.

But you've got to...

But, as so often happens, the poop rolled together and two became one.

But, Frank, here's my problem with that.

But, it's kind of dangerous.

But, nonetheless, it was, I believe, bought as a business expense.

But, that makes you quite formidable, huh?

But, while danger may linger, I'm the levelheaded bouncer that

But, you know what, that's not really what bothers me about this.

But... convinced that Charlie had discovered his dirty little secret,

Buy a pelt here! We have raccoon, we have foxes!

Buying shit? What are you talking about?

By the strong... musky power of true love.

By the way,

By the way, does anyone know why the hell Frank

By the way, there's no reason to be harsh.

Call me a word that I cannot print in this paper".

Calls other people white trash to make himself not feel so faggy".

Calm down! We'll pick the second one.

Can I axe you a question?

Can I bring something up?

Can I bring something up? 'Cause if it don't, it's going to stew up inside me.

Can I stop you for a second?

Can we get down in the middle? Can we get down front?

Can we get going with this, though?

Can we have five now please? Can you have a five over there?

Can we move on to the DNA test, please?

Can we talk about the mail, please, Mac?

Can we wrap this up at some point?

Can you ask your friend to put down that hammer, please?

Can you believe it, dear brother? We're witnessing history in the making.

Can you believe it, sis? They're actually gone.

Can you get Charlie out of the apartment tomorrow?

Can you get out of the way so I can pull the cord?

Can't run from the kindness of strangers.

Cannibalism? Racism, Dee? That's not for us.

Capitalism at work.

Casting call for a billboard? How have we not done this before?

Cause this is a perfect, perfect hiding spot.

Causing the turd to tumble where it stands

Champion of the sun

Champion of the sun

Champion of the sun,

Char... Oh, my God, dude!

Charles, I told you the revolution pays.

Charlie and I are right in the middle of something.

Charlie and I will use that reward money to pay off our electricity bill.

Charlie and the waitress that I need to talk to you about.

Charlie, are you ready with the camera?

Charlie, do I really have to sleep here?

Charlie, fire up that video camera.

Charlie, goddamn it!

Charlie, I'm telling you, running away is not the answer.

Charlie, I've never been more serious about anything in my entire life.

Charlie, if we're gonna smash the window,

Charlie, if we've lost our jobs, that means we've lost

Charlie, now you got to stop.

Charlie, open up.

Charlie, the plan is simple, okay?

Charlie, the thinner the TV, the better the TV.

Charlie, we sleep ass to ass, you know that.

Charlie, what is going on, dude?

Charlie, what is going on?

Charlie, what the hell is this play about?

Charlie, what the hell were you doing with it?

Charlie, yes, we have to do this.

Charlie, you're still going to be the wild card 'cause that fireball you blew was badass.

Charlie?

Charlie... Charlie, listen.

Charlie's number one : my ashes are to be made into a tea and

Check it out, bro.

Check it out, we're gonna put some knives on our fingers

Check it out.

Check it out. Check it out!

Check it out. We got a review in the paper.

Check out this tasty delight.

Check the circuit breaker.

Check this out.

Cheese is funny thing. Cheese is a strange thing.

Chickenshit, I'll walk right up to that thing and shoot.

Chocolate variety.

Circle in, everybody.

Classless bores? I am not a classless bore.

Close friends.

Closer?

Code Red! Code Red, guys!

Colonel Cricket.

Come forward. Come forward.

Come here, man.

Come here, you little rug rat.

Come on, bub, let's go.

Come on, Charlie.

Come on, Charlie.

Come on, dude, I'm trying to network by the water cooler.

Come on, dude, seriously?

Come on, hit me again. Come on.

Come on, man, hit me.

Come on, man, I was just in the middle of some really erotic stuff.

Come on, man, that kills it for me.

Come on, man. Don't bring it down, not right now.

Come on, man. I mean, the guy gets my goat, man.

Come on, man. See, he's twisting everything I say around.

Come on, right this way.

Come on, you don't need to take your shirt off.

Come on, you heard him talking about my thighs when he came in.

Come on! Open the door!

Come on.

Come on.

Come on. Green Man's what makes this thing work.

Come on. Let's get the hell out of here.

Come on. Rob Thomas and Sinbad,

Come on. That would be stupid.

Come on. You go first.

Come one, Come all to a beautiful show

Come over here and scratch my itchy witchy toesy woesies.

Come play with us forever

Coming in here, talking about how in love with my thighs you are.

Communication is the key, it make sens.

Companies with their ten gallon hats and their rotten, ass plowing hearts.

Compete over you, bing bang boom, soulmate.

Competitions like this aren't about money.

Completely pissing me off recently. I worked so hard on those tapes.

Concrete or brick or something...

Confound your lousy toll, troll

Congratulations! We've got a surprise for you.

Cool.

Corman's not gonna go for that. He's, like, made of stone or something.

Corta, corta!

Could have prevented this entire thing.

Couldn't produce a turd.

Couple pairs of sour sweaty balls.

Craig T. Nelson is the best, dude, but Poltergeist?

Craig T. Nelson.

Crap...

Crap...

Crap...

Crap...

Crashing my car into a building, exploding a grenade inside of it

Creating a safe but still amazingly badass landing zone.

Creating an enjoyable experience for the family... extreme!

Credit card, huh?

Cricket came back and committed fecal forgery.

Cricket with a face full of pubes? Hilarious!

Cricket! Get him.

Cricket. Colonel Cricket.

Cricks, back it up a little bit.

Cut pictures of it out and paste it on a board,

Cute, though, huh?

Damn it, dude, we can't keep doing this all night.

Damn it, dude.

Damn it, dude. I feel like this should be easier!

Damn it, gross, fine, what else?

Damn it.

Damn those Sons of Liberty sons of bitches, Dennis.

Damn, they sell guns here?

Damn.

Dayman

Dayman

Dayman,

Dayman!

Deal with the situation out here.

Deandra, come and help me count my gold.

Deandra, get on that stage.

Deandra, this is wacky.

Deandra! You wanted in on this poop war from the start.

Declined?

Dee and I are gonna kick your ass, okay.

Dee, ah, great. We need to use you as bait for our Cricket.

Dee, if you're going to walk a mile in my shoes,

Dee, Mom gave all of our money to Bruce.

Dee, this guy is great!

Dee, what are you doing to yourself? That is terrible!

Dee, what is this getup? What are you doing now?

Dee, when we said we can't predict the future, how could we

Dee, would you calm down? You're eating that cheese steak like a some kind of giant bird, you know?

Dee, you got bigger problems, because my dad just got out of jail,

Dee, you know what?

Dee, you tried this shit 30 years ago when that show first came on the air.

Dee!

Dee? Cricket trap bait? You?

Deep wounds.

Dennis and Frank, if you're watching this, then we're already dead.

Dennis and I are cool, right? We're not on your shit list?

Dennis and Mac thought it'd be funny to put the frame on Frank

Dennis is ready to jam him in the face,

Dennis Reynolds, 40 feet tall and shirtless.

Dennis Reynolds: An Erotic Life.

Dennis was jealous that Charlie had chosen Mac to help instead of him.

Dennis, a word.

Dennis, are you sure Dee is coming?

Dennis, do you know that she is inheriting my house?

Dennis, I told you you don't have the right stuff.

Dennis, if I was looking for safe,

Dennis, tell us what it's like to be so handsome.

Dennis, these girls are German. German.

Dennis, wake up.

Dennis, we should try and sell this book.

Dennis, what, are you having second thoughts about the glory hole?

Dennis, what's the name of this book?

Dennis, yo. Last minute thing.

Dennis, you and I on the same team. Hot chick up on the billboard.

Dennis, you know that this publisher is gonna have a fact checker, right?

Dennis, you think Frank's got a point here?

Dennis, you were never the personal sexual adviser to Jon Bon Jovi!

Dennis, you've been out modeled.

Dennis, your mule is shit.

Deny it?

Did I miss something?

Did I see you bang that thing?

Did I? My bad.

Did it make sense?

Did it not go through?

Did Odd Couplething for past decade, looking for something new

Did she just try and break a bottle over my head?

Did the neighborhood rob us?

Did you bring the toll?

Did you do something different thought? 'cause it's sooo good this time.

Did you get a last name on this chump?

Did you say something about pooping in a bed?

Did you think you were being, like, crafty?

Did you want to piss me off?

Didn't sound like best friend talk out here to me.

Digging the accent, but don't understand you.

Directly into that wall.

Disintegrated?

DNA's good.

Do I even have to explain that to you?

Do I have to deny... something so craz...

Do not add a song

Do not rip that costume, okay?

Do not shoot that pumpkin! What are you doing?

Do something positive with your life, piece of shit.

Do we come to your house and tell you how to sleep?

Do you come here every night? Every night, huh? This is great.

Do you feel that?

Do you have any idea how expensive rugs are, Charlie?

Do you have anything other than a towel and duct tape?

Do you know what this is like? Banging the chicks that you live with?

Do you think it's for watching somebody poop?

Do you think that would help like regain it's succulence.

Do you think you could put something like that together?

Do you want to let him in?

Doesn't appear to.

Doesn't really feel right.

Doesn't she look ridiculous?

Doing and what it looks like feel like two different things.

Dominique, you banged me, like, right away.

Don Johnson's the dude from Miami Vice, Charlie.

Don.

Don. Typical.

Don't argue with me right now, okay?

Don't bullshit me! That's all I got to say!

Don't bust my balls. This is great exposure for me.

Don't even joke about hunting a man.

Don't even start, man.

Don't ever look Janet in the eye because she's a horrible devil woman.

Don't flatter yourself.

Don't make man hurt you.

Don't need your billboard. I'm going viral.

Don't reach for the notebook.

Don't say "stage freeze." Just do it.

Don't shush me, okay? Now please don't shush me.

Don't stop.

Don't take this to heart. Don't take this the wrong way.

Don't tell me what to do.

Don't touch the window, all right? I'll do that when I get back.

Don't worry. Don't worry.

Don't you remember how Samantha and Carrie and the dykey redhead

Don't...

Done!

Door to door gasoline salesmen. Oh, my God, that's amazing.

Dress like you're dressed... British peons, okay?

Drifting from town to town, solving mysteries,

Dude, do you have a boner right now?

Dude, I don't know what his problem is, but he's been

Dude, look, I know what your little plan is, but if I'm going

Dude, no matter where we go, my dad will find us,

Dude, oh, my God!

Dude, the guy had to take a dump. What was I supposed to do?

Dude, there's like no tape anywhere.

Dude, you don't want to end up like that Million Little Pieces guy, okay?

Dude, you're gonna give me another panic attack.

Due to the size and severity of the poop, Frank concluded

Easy, camper, easy, camper.

Easy, we roll him up in a rug.

Else's like they didn't put any effort into it?

Entire world that Dennis Reynolds still has a rocking body

Especially with that company credit card you got.

Europe leads the way in sexual exploration, and quite frankly,

Every day you have to deal with this.

Every day, it seems we're wasting away

Every day, Pepe's mail's getting sent back to me.

Everybody else has a big song. I deserve to have one.

Everybody got laid all the time.

Everybody out!

Everybody, put your hands together

Everybody, you stay close to me.

Everyone here's a suspect.

Everyone's name at all moments of the day.

Everything on there is a business expense.

Except for when we find the bride.

Excuse me for just a sec!

Excuse me!

Excuse me!

Excuse me?

Excuse me.

Excuse me.

Excuse me.

Excuse me. Can I talk to you use?

Excuse me. Incidents.

Extreme Home Makeover will make the hardest man soft.

Extremely sick and tired?

Faggy?

False alarm.

Family makeover with Dee? No, I want to be a part of the renovation team.

Fascinating.

Fat burner?

Fellas! How you doing? A couple of flagons of ale for you!

Fighter of the Nightman

Fighter of the Nightman

Fighter of the nightman

Figure we turn him over to you until someone claimed him.

Filling me up with all kinds of stuff.

Finally, mercifully came to an end.

Fine, but what is Rob Thomas have to do with any of this?

Fine, Irish Car Bomb.

Fine. Okay, listen.

Finished.

Fireballs?

First of all, I don't think you should even be here if you just had a heart attack, ma'am.

First step: do not douse yourself with lighter fluid.

First things first, let's find a family to unleash our extremeness all over.

First things first. Let's just get him out of the trunk;

First, he doesn't burn the duster, and now he's looking for new roommates?

First, I was angry. Then, I was drinking.

For Deandra Reynolds!

For example, if there was an altercation in this bathroom,

For I am the Dayman.

For more than a billboard?

For one to safely insert one's penis.

For spys. Okay? So essentialy, Charlie,

For the parole board once again, you are claiming that

For the record, when you go through chemo,

For the rest of their pathetic and miserable lives.

For their mail on a daily basis.

For thing the entire time.

Forced me to do something that I hoped I'd never have to do."

Forget it two seconds later, okay?

Forget the bindle.

Forget the mail?

Four turds, five suspects,

Frank and I will handle the business end of things.

Frank fed us human meat, and we got the hunger.

Frank humiliated one more time.

Frank is the muscle.

Frank made a sex tape, too?

Frank pooped the bed again the next night as revenge,

Frank was supposed to empty that.

Frank, Dee, what you two have discovered today

Frank, get back here.

Frank, I guess you're right. The secret's bullshit, huh?

Frank, I think we can both agree this is not the kind of

Frank, I will jam that poop right back up your ass where it came from.

Frank, if you want to get your house back, check it out.

Frank, we are in the middle of something.

Frank, what are you doing, man?

Frank, what the hell are you doing here?

Frank, you disgust me.

Frank, you knew, too?

Frank's got, like, this whole fridge full of these delicious meats that I've been stealing.

Frederick is your cat and he died three weeks ago.

Friend one, best friend two, come in. Over.

Friendship for everyone

Friendship for everyone

Friendship for everyone.

From Mr. Bon Jovi.

From the cigar is what's gonna do the trick.

From the first moment I laid my eyes on you...

Full of my butt, and full of Mac's butt.

Fused together by fear and hatred... and hair.

Gasoline directly to their doorsteps.

Gasps are where it's at.

Gentlemen, I think this meeting is adjourned.

Gentlemen, we are all done here, so I'm gonna roll 'cause we got to...

Gentlemen, we tend to give loans to businesses, not...

Gentlemen, you have both proven to me in the very short time

Get all of my money back as a reward.

Get back to the bar!

Get behind me and stay behind me, the whole time.

Get drunk and yell over each other all night".

Get her.

Get out of here! We're in the middle of something.

Get out of here! What are you doing here?

Get out of here! You're making a big mess!

Get out, get out, get out, get out.

Get out, get out, get out.

Get out, lady.

Get out!

Get over here.

Get ready to feel it where it hurts.

Get ready, for a mouthful...

Get up!

Get up.

Get up. You got to help me out here.

Get you in rehab... Rehab... Rehab...

Get your European, sex freaky asses out of the bar

Get, get, get, get!

Girl who's always quick with a sassy comeback.

Girls, I'll meet you outside.

Give him his cat and get him back in the office.

Give me all the teeth. Okay, I got them in my pocket.

Give me that leg, boy.

Give me that notebook.

Give me that skunk pelt. I'll use it for hair.

Give me the baby monitor. I'll hide it for you.

Give me the laser pointer. Just give me the laser pointer.

Give me the popper, dude! I need that popper, bro!

Give me whiplash? You're blinding me. Will you calm down? Hold on.

Give this guy a cigarette. He's freaking out.

Give you a little ambience.

Gladys, can you head out there and get us started?

Glory hole's up and running, baby.

Go ahead.

Go crank open a window.

Go down to the basement. See if there's any more tape.

Go get the Cosmos.

Go into the center stall, I got a little surprise for you

Go it! Ready?

Go, go, go, go!

Go, go, go.

Go, move!

Go!

Go! Go! Go! Go!

Go.

God damn it.

God, hunting is awesome, Dennis.

God, I have this brilliant idea

God, it stings.

God, it's crazy how much better I am at acting than you are.

God, now that you mention it, sis, I do feel a fair amount of pain coming on.

God! Why would you do that, dude?

Goddamn Frank.

Goddamn it, Charlie, I knew we shouldn't have done this in the bed!

Goddamn it, Charlie!

Goddamn it, dude. I'm having a panic attack.

Goddamn it, Frank. You just ruined my all life.

Goddamn it, this doesn't make any sense, we should be hearing them by now.

Goddamn it, this is bullshit.

Goddamn it, we don't have time for this!

Goddamn it, you bitches!

Goddamn it!

Goddamn it!

Goddamn it!

Goddamn it!

Goddamn it!

Goddamn it! I knew it! Charlie, what are you doing?

Goddamn it.

Goddamn, it's hard to breathe in these bags.

Goddamn!

Going to take all those hilarious characters that I've

Gonna take some pictures.

Gonna throw it in the car.

Good bye, Mac's shit

Good bye, Mac's shit. Good bye, Mac's shit.

Good bye, son.

Good bye... come on, dude.

Good luck with that.

Good man!

Good morning, Juarez family!

Good morning, Philadelphia!

Good morning, Philadelphia.

Good news, Dee, we made the bathroom unisex.

Good old fashioned American cinema.

Good one.

Good rhythm, love the enthusiasm.

Good to see you, man. Hey, look.

Good with women? You mean good at women?

Good, back in Dennis,

Good, good, good.

Good!

Good.

Good. So look, I'm only going to be here like a night or two,

Got a real chip on her shoulder, this one.

Got some poppers in the back.

Got to play the troll toll To get into this boy's hole

Gotta go pop my cat eyes in.

Great, and I totally respect your opinion, but I've already made a decision.

Great, it's time.

Great, let's kill ourselves.

Great.

Great. Awesome.

Great. Good. Thank you, Charlie. Thanks.

Great. Let's just let that settle for a minute, and I'll...

Great. Toss it out the window.

Green Man is not what makes it work, Charlie.

Green Man!

Green Man!

Green: guacamole. Red: a little pillow for salsa.

Greeting one.

Grenade.

Grenades and bullets don't burn cars?

Guess it's just us.

Guess what guys, the memoires is dead, again.

Gun, gas tank.

Guns?

Guy in the trunk thing up to a loss right now, dude.

Guys are playing hard to get.

Guys, guys, guys, clearly, we're exhausted and full of emotion,

Guys, guys, guys, I've got some news! I've got some terrible news!

Guys, hold on a second. Relax!

Guys, let's just wrap up the evidence and start again fresh tomorrow.

Guys, no can do. We're on a very tight schedule.

Guys, please leave my class.

Guys, there is a full fledged revolution happening outside right now!

Guys, we got a Code Red on our hands!

Guys, we got to make sure that this does not happen to us.

Hang in, Joe. Myself.

Hang on a second.

Hang on a second. Okay, look, guys, guys,

Hang on there, pal.

Hang on, hang on, hang on a second, hang on.

Hang on. Hang on. We're just trying to wrap our heads around this.

Hang on. It's all good.

Harsh.

Has anybody scored on their vision board yet?

Has been pointing a camera at us?

Hasn't achieved the American dream yet is because they haven't envisioned it strong enough.

Have customers to have a working business, right?

Have some coffee, too. That will calm you down.

Have that extinguisher ready, 'cause

Have you now?

Have you seen The Secret of My Success?

Have you tried it before?

He acted like he liked it... in fact he even asked me to keep

He always turns around and goes, "Hey, man,

He bangs that old lady, and then they play that song from the '80s.

He can snap like a toig.

He certainly was...

He do whatever I tell him to do 'cause he's my bitch, bitch!

He don't take kindly to no. So, can I feel you up or what?

He forgot to say "over and out." I can't believe that.

He gets free everything because people love that guy.

He gets to play two roles? I mean, come on.

He got it from some weird place.

He had gone too far.

He has a seven iron.

He is certainly ugly.

He keep throwing his shoe. He crazy.

He lied to us, man. He said he was going to write a review, he didn't do that.

He looks so much better, doesn't he? What is that?

He puts a new thing on the sign every time we pull in there.

He really has an ugly face.

He really lobbed a big hunk off your head up here.

He receives for Eric. He receives for Janet.

He said the middle, put it in the middle.

He sits around all day. He judges people with his words

He swore to have his revenge.

He told you what the goddamn pay was.

He wanted to get back at Frank, but due to his poor diet,

He wants to impress us because he's in love with us.

He was going to put the frame on Mac by pooping next to him.

He was gonna find out anyway.

He was so intent on destroying it.

He was turtle heading.

He will autograph your face until it gets bloody.

He wouldn't know where he was or how far away he'd gone.

He'll be here. Don't worry about it.

He's also wearing a wedding dress, though, and I'd like him to take it off.

He's burning down a village of Nam,

He's going to kill everyone.

He's going to make me look deformed!

He's gonna keep coming back down here,

He's got like a thousand of them. I don't like 'em though.

He's got the right idea.

He's killing everything that moves, everything that lives!

He's losing his mind.

He's lying! He is lying!

He's lying.

He's making me look like an asshole.

He's on to us.

He's probably under a lot of pressure with the deadlines from the newspaper.

He's spinning you a web of lies, Charlie.

He's totally obsessed with us.

He's up at night,

Heart failure!

Hello

Hello, America.

Hello, and welcome to Project Badassvolume XVI.

Hello, boy.

Hello, Chief.

Hello, ma'am. Well, what a lovely housedress.

Hello?

Hello?

Hello.

Hello. We are here for the Manolos.

Hells, yeah! We want to feel you up, if'n you were so inclined as to let us.

Help me get him out of the trunk.

Help me get the credit card. I need that billboard!

Help!

Help! Help me!

Her back into the arms of the bottle, pooped in Dee's purse

Her name's Martina Martinez, and she is a streetwise Puerto Rican

Her? Oh, that's just my sister Deandra.

Here goes.

Here it is.

Here they come. Incoming.

Here we are. This is it.

Here we go!

Here we go!

Here we go.

Here we go. You know what, we'll just... we'll dangle it.

Here's the best part: I don't even know most of their names.

Here's the deal. I didn't feel like opening up a bottle of wine

Here's the plan. I've been thinking about this.

Here's what happens. Once you pay the toll,

Here's what I'm thinking now. After we got done smashing all their

Here's your toll, troll.

Hey yo. Dennis, I did it.

Hey, assholes.

Hey, board games, man.

Hey, check it out. You just had yourself a glue O.D.,

Hey, Cricket, will you, come out here for few second please.

Hey, Dennis! What's up buddy, come here!

Hey, Dennis.

Hey, diary.

Hey, diary. It's me.

Hey, do the have food, too? 'Cause I could go for some food.

Hey, don't I know it.

Hey, dude, where you been?

Hey, everybody, PatheticGirl43 here coming

Hey, fellas, who's taking the minutes here?

Hey, Frank, by the way, we borrowed that pathetic **** van

Hey, Frank, I'm glad you're here, bro.

Hey, girlfriend!

Hey, guys, come on. Please help.

Hey, guys, if I'm peeing... You're wake me up.

Hey, guys, what book you keep going on and on about?

Hey, he's lying to you!

Hey, here's an idea for you.

Hey, hey hey, hey.

Hey, honey, you want to take care of this monster for me or what?

Hey, I just wanted to let you know I was going to go for

Hey, in order to assimilate you with American culture,

Hey, in order to assimilate you with American culture,

Hey, ladies, like I said, pop them off.

Hey, let's watch a movie.

Hey, look out. Look out!

Hey, look, you got recognized on the street today.

Hey, man, do you see any hypodermic needles laying around?

Hey, man, do you still get the feeling he wants to bang us?

Hey, man, there's no time for that. We're on a deadline here.

Hey, shreep rat.

Hey, since you are writing a new review, uh,

Hey, some of us are trying to do some work here, Frank.

Hey, some top shelf scotch.

Hey, thanks a lot for taking home Corman's cat.

Hey, that whole Jovi thing went south,

Hey, the good news is that means we're not racist.

Hey, what the hell was that about?!

Hey, what was this jerk's name?

Hey, what's up, buddy?

Hey, what's up, Jerome? What you doing?

Hey, where's your wife? Come on!

Hey, why don't you head back to the nest for some pizza and beer,

Hey, you guys want to see something?

Hey, you guys, what are you doing tonight?

Hey, you jerks!

Hey, you mind if we get a picture together?

Hey, you're just in time.

Hey!

Hey!

Hey! No, stop the bus! Stop the bus!

Hey! Oh, hell, no!

Hey.

Hey... hey, you don't know how hard I got it, pal.

Hi, can we get three Cosmos, please?

Hi, this is Mehar. Sorry I missed your call.

Hi, we are in desperate need of something that will destroy

Hi.

Hi.

Hi. Are you Mr. Lyle Corman?

His eyes.

His name...

Hit me, hit me again.

Hit me.

Ho, there, sir.

Hobos are always eating beans.

Hold on a second. You're saying that your life is so terrible

Hold on there, Corman.

Hold their booze, who don't talk about their bleached assholes,

Hole number 17, 338 yards, dogleg left.

Holy shit, dude, are you all right?

Holy shit, dude. Holy shit!

Holy shit, man! That's a good idea.

Holy shit!

Holy shit!

Holy shit.

Horrible and sad, so we decided to end it all.

Horse?

Hot ones! You know what I'm saying?

Hottie alert at 2:00.

How 'bout you take your mind off of it with some pizza?

How about that for stress?

How about the Mexican family that moved in down the block?

How are we gonna do this?

How are we gonna get him in the bar without anyone seeing him?

How are we gonna to do that?

How are we supposed to

How are you?

How can I predict the future?

How can I write a new review if I am taped to a chair?

How come you have that awesome fray in your shorts?

How could you be so cold?

How do you not know how this works? You've been in a hospital before.

How do you think it is, Charlie?

How do you think they tear down an entire wall so quickly?

How does hunting a defenseless creature make you a good hunter?

How exactly are you planning on counting a liquid?

How is he gonna pee if his hands are taped down?

How is he your best friend over me?

How is that not specific to one of you?

How is this even an orgy? Nobody's having sex.

How long do you think we can hold that inside?

How long is the wait at this place?!

How many times do we have to go through this?

How much land are you going to give away for a pumpkin these days?

How much?

How on Earth can we score on our vision boards...

How would you like to walk a mile in my shoes, huh?

How you'll be paying for your stay.

How?

How? How do you still not know what my name is?!

How? How is that possible?

How're we gonna do this?

How's about I take you in the back and change your mind?

How's he going to do that with a dick in his mouth?

How's that eye feel?

How's that for class?

How's your face, Dee?

Howdy, howdy, howdy. How's everybody doing tonight?

However, I do desire to seek further counsel with the lady.

Huh, really? Well, uh, then, in that case,

Huh? Hey! What the...

Huh? I don't know. It's all happening so fast, man!

Hungry Please help.

I actually found that to be pretty goddamn entertaing.

I almost didn't recognize you in that getup, but I recognize

I always wonder, like, "What is cheese? Where does it come...?

I am a man, see?

I am actually having a panic attack.

I am gonna blast your face off.

I am here with it.

I am here.

I am here.

I am in Orlando. I'm trying to check my voicemail.

I am not going back there.

I am not your slave anymore, and I'm not a boy.

I am now...

I am passed here.

I am so blocked up.

I am so stressed out. I feel like I'm having a panic attack.

I am the master of light.

I am the ruler of darkness.

I am, bro.

I am... the Dayman.

I asked you to leave me be.

I asked you to let me live my life.

I barely pulled that. I barely pulled it.

I beat you, bitches.

I believe I was pretty clear in the ad here.

I bet if you pop those pants off,

I bet you still hide your money in your sock drawer.

I bought a bunch of new DVDs.

I brought a nail gun.

I came back with beefcakes.

I can absolutely tell.

I can be very sensual with a woman, all right? You will enjoy it.

I can believe you didn't meet Sinbad.

I can buy myself a billboard, get myself out there and show the

I can check it for you.

I can find other people to play your parts.

I can't believe Dee finally caught on and cancelled her credit cards.

I can't believe Dee keeps her life savings in her sock drawer.

I can't believe that dick horrible put the lock on the refrigerator.

I can't believe their name isn't Juarez

I can't believe they didn't include me in their suicide pact.

I can't believe they're dead.

I can't believe you dressed like that, bro.

I can't concentrate when I'm about to get blasted in the face with a ball.

I can't do that.

I can't do this. They're not coming off, seriously.

I can't find it anywhere, and then... What are you doing walking here?

I can't get worked up. My doctor told me not to get worked up.

I can't go now.

I can't have a dead cat's blood on my hands, man.

I can't have a dead cat's blood on my hands, man.

I can't help it, Charlie.

I can't really move my arms in this thing, so I think I need to rip the pits.

I can't rember.

I can't see shit. Why would you tint the inside of the windows?

I can't sift through the duds.

I can't understand what you're saying.

I canceled that shit when you were nine.

I cannot believe the judge made me give my mansion to the Juarez family.

I care about the mannequin!

I caught you stealing a bunch of coins out of the fountain at Logan Circle.

I come every single day to throw money into this thing

I could cut the song, okay, because I wrote it.

I could have Artemis do the song, okay, because you did not write it.

I could not have anticipated...

I could probably squeeze something out.

I could see you staring at me through the window.

I could see your eyes. We might as well get married!

I could smack everyone into tiny, little pieces.

I could use your help because I'm not, admittedly,

I did all the poops.

I did it.

I did not accept their apology.

I did something.

I did, too. I did, too.

I did... not.

I didn't cry, Charlie.

I didn't do anything to anybody, man!

I didn't feed you human meat.

I didn't know there was a handbook on kidnapping.

I didn't know women could have heart attacks.

I didn't know you guys were looking for a stallion. I'm a stallion.

I didn't mean to thunder strike you, but that's

I didn't tell you what to do. You're skipping a line, dude.

I do always give a fake name 'cause I like to stay off the grid.

I do not give a shit, Deandra.

I do not want to hurt them.

I do not wish to take her. I would like to win her favor,

I do want to have anonymous sex. I want to have anonymous sex.

I do weird things? Name another thing that you think is weird.

I don't care about that.

I don't care about the wedding.

I don't care what you say! So get it out of your head!

I don't care!

I don't care. Let him piss in his pants.

I don't even know what he's talking about half the time, bro, but...

I don't have a ulterior motive here.

I don't have any hard evidence, but that's just what

I don't have any heating ducts in this apartment.

I don't have that.

I don't have time to chitchat with you about stuff.

I don't know about this floor, Dennis.

I don't know how all this happened, it all seemed so real.

I don't know if you noticed.

I don't know if you've been back there, but animals.

I don't know if you've been to it.

I don't know what else to tell you. What do you want to hear?

I don't know what to tell you.

I don't know what's going on with him, man.

I don't know who you're talking about.

I don't know why you're breaking my balls here.

I don't know why you're so in love with this guy.

I don't know why you're up here doing

I don't know why, but I'm a little irritated that

I don't know, "Dennis Reynolds, your car is awesome.

I don't know, you know what it is? I generally, I don't eat dark meat.

I don't know; give me something I can work with, Corman.

I don't know.

I don't know.

I don't know. As much as you did.

I don't know. I wouldn't sleep on the floor, though.

I don't know. It could be cool.

I don't know. No, yes, maybe I was going to;

I don't know. She's obsessed with you or something. She's a total freak.

I don't know. That's his problem.

I don't like it, Charlie. I don't think it's funny.

I don't like this bitch's attitude.

I don't need validation anymore. How great is that?

I don't really know what happened, okay?

I don't speak Latin, but there's pictures in here, so I think we're good.

I don't think he has a point. I'm a stallion.

I don't think I can do it.

I don't think I can eat this guy.

I don't think it's the street, bro.

I don't think so, Charlie. See, I'm operating at a much higher vibration

I don't think so.

I don't think that's gonna work, dude.

I don't think that's how it works, Charlie.

I don't think these people are the INS.

I don't think they do controlled burns, man.

I don't think you have cancer.

I don't understand it, but I don't care.

I don't understand why this is happening.

I don't want the fire to spread past the parameters of this wall.

I don't want to bang any of these people anyway.

I don't want to be associated with those...

I don't want to be on your billboard, and I'll tell you why.

I don't want to get back at Frank and Dennis.

I don't want to know your names, okay?

I don't want to listen to this, man!

I don't want to wear one of your dirty sleeping outfits.

I don't want you guys kissing either.

I don't, I don't know.

I doubt they have monkey, Charlie.

I even did one, while she was rappin us, right here.

I feel good, oh!

I feel good, too, apart from the recent bouts of explosive diarrhea.

I feel like $1 million.

I feel like I could find my true love here.

I feel like in your article, you missed an opportunity to mention

I feel like it might be a little bit better for me...

I feel like my heart might explode.

I feel like the big one's right around the corner.

I feel like there's vibing happening right now.

I feel like these supplements are doing a great job on their own,

I feel like we need to make some progress.

I feel like we're completing each other's...

I feel like you are taking this shit way too seriously.

I feel like you're going to say something else right there

I feel like you're saying "boy's hole", and it's clearly "soul".

I feel so strange inside.

I feel the magic Do you feel the magic?

I figured it out right before the funeral.

I finished this lane.

I forgot about the glory hole.

I forgot to tell you, Calvin Coolidge was a good friend of mine.

I fought the Nightman, lived as Dayman.

I found him wandering the streets.

I get it. I get it.

I go up, I talk, you come in with the volleyball, you hit him

I gonna grab his cat with Dennis' car. I'll be back.

I got a goddamn great reason for getting you out of bed.

I got a little bad news on the popper front.

I got a plan with it. Yeah. I got an angle.

I got a plan.

I got a pocketknife. Just cut it out of the frame.

I got a pretty good plan how to do this.

I got a Steve Winwood CD in my car. I'll just go out and grab that.

I got both of you guys.

I got burns! What are you doing?

I got Clue, you know, we could solve a mystery together.

I got Dee to admit to things she never did!

I got Dee's purse.

I got it on sale. It's irregular.

I got it working.

I got it, I got it. It was sent to the bar.

I got it!

I got it. We're talking about cancer.

I got some big plans.

I got something better to do.

I got the right stuff, Frank. I can win this thing, I know it.

I got to get back home ASAP and meet a couple potential new roommates.

I got to get my head straight.

I got to get out of here.

I got to go to sleep.

I got to go to the bathroom.

I got to go up to his office.

I got to have the popper!

I got to put his mail in the guy's goddamn hands.

I got to take 'em all because I got to get healthy really fast.

I gotta chop off that pieces of that fellow calf muscle of yours, Frank.

I guess babies can't be trusted.

I guess I must have slipped through the cracks.

I guess I was just fine.

I guess I was just going too fast.

I guess poop is very funny.

I had an audition, and I didn't get the part,

I had no idea that this was all about you.

I had to take 'em all out. It was a bloodbath.

I had two of them. I had another one here. I tricked you.

I hardly had to do anything. Tabitha, you did the same.

I hate all the pizza.

I hate my life.

I hate to say it, bro, but I think we're gonna have

I hate to say this, bro, but...

I hate to tell you this, but, you know, this self help stuff...

I hate you.

I have 50 cats howling outside my window

I have a bleached asshole.

I have a drinking problem.

I have a free ticket for you to see a musical that I wrote.

I have a full head of hair. Not like him.

I have my ways of finding out things.

I have no idea what you're talking about

I have not been out modeled.

I have to go to the bathroom.

I have to go with my heart."

I have, too. I have even worse than before I take.

I haven't even begun to work this hot body.

I hear you. I hear you.

I heard about this shit!

I hope he's writting something on a windbreaker.

I increadibly annoid that he didn't mention our names.

I just came back from Nam.

I just did it to prove a point that I think I made my point.

I just don't know what's going on.

I just don't understand your generation.

I just don't want to get arrested for kidnapping.

I just felt like you got a little bit...

I just got a shady read out of the guy.

I just had a heart attack. Can we focus on me for two minutes here?

I just had a heart attack. Maybe you should turn this techno music down.

I just offered to buy it.

I just want to bang at this point, just to get over with.

I just want to brief everyone on this.

I just want to rub it in Charlie's face for smashing my Project Bad ass tape.

I just want to see what direction we're headed in there, buddy.

I just want to...

I just wanta be very clear: You're buying us a new couch.

I just wanted to look at some poop.

I killed the dear, I should get to eat it.

I kind of can't believe that you guys took your shirts off back there, man.

I knew you guys were alive.

I knew you two weren't dead.

I know more about you than you know about yourself.

I know what I'm doing!

I know what I'm doing.

I know what the billboard's going to look like already:

I know you do, but the thing is...

I know, but I found it, so I sort of feel like...

I know, but we've been talking about this the whole walk over.

I know.

I know.

I know. I feel like it's going to hurt.

I know. I hate you, too.

I like that, man. That's a good idea.

I like the song. Dee, apologize to Charlie.

I like to hear that.

I like you, too, Charlie. I like you, too, New Charlie

I look good, and I feel good.

I look in the mail. This whole box is Pepe Silvia.

I look like a jerk in front of those girls.

I love his use of space.

I love that car!

I made it.

I mailed them halfway to Siberia, okay?

I mean that's why we need the viewing slot.

I mean, 'cause that's great and the plan's actually pretty great.

I mean, a lot of presidents somehow end up looking like women.

I mean, am I right...

I mean, Extreme Home Make... I mean, what... what...

I mean, getting in shape is like the best health insurance you can get.

I mean, how has he been sitting there watching golf for three hours?

I mean, I could just picture a girl, and then, it's good.

I mean, I feel like you really sold me down the river.

I mean, look at Ronald Reagan, right?

I mean, some are definitely more realistic than others.

I mean, taxation with representation, right?

I mean, that jaguar is fierce!

I mean, that's what I have to go through

I mean, we already got the mind, body and soul going.

I mean, what is this, like some kind of socialist country

I mean, you guys are always touching each other's nipples,

I mean, you know, I don't see how that should factor in to

I mean, you'd think people who came here so many years before the English,

I mean... Now, we don't presume to be scientists.

I miss you, Charlie.

I must admit I'm a little bit confused about one thing.

I must say thought, I've never seen a guy and a girl bang one of these taste at the same time.

I need for you to explain to me how it is that you consider.

I need help.

I need to get in there without being detected.

I need to see a doctor.

I need you to come fill it in.

I need you to get Frank and Charlie away from their apartment, okay?

I never said I was a scientist.

I once was a boy

I own both of y'all.

I pass! I pass! Because you were planning on killing me.

I pray you, who is that fiery wench?

I promise that I'm not gonna hurt you.

I promise.

I ran out. I ran out of breath.

I read all about it in the notebook Charlie keeps of your whereabouts.

I really don't like this guy.

I regret it already.

I run with a pretty wild crew.

I said what you said to say to her,

I saved you from being burned at the stake for being a witch.

I saw tears coming out of your eye...

I saw that!

I saw that! I saw that! You're out of here, bro.

I say it's not me, but you bet your ass it's one of us.

I say, I say, that's just damn preposterous, boy.

I see you've taken to wearing my clothes, you sick freak.

I shall findeth a stick.

I should be on the head of the smashing team!

I should probably dress like Charlie, 'cause he's kind of my height.

I sleep in a king sized bed by myself.

I speak English.

I stole a bunch of guns! I'm testing them out, Charles!

I swear to God, you cannot add a song.

I tell you what, Mac, seeing as how you're my best friend...

I think he crapped himself.

I think he wants to be you getting banged by me in your apartment.

I think I got it. I think I got it.

I think I know what we're not doing right here.

I think I want to be in front of you.

I think it's time we caught up.

I think Mac's banging the waitress.

I think so, I think so.

I think that Artemis and I have much better things to do, thank you.

I think that crucifixion must have been really good for your core because...

I think that hunting a man would be the only true test of a good hunter.

I think the only way we're going to convince these people

I think the problem here is that your body quit.

I think the wooden teeth are the whole thing that's saving this thing.

I think we have successfully pulled off one extreme makeover.

I think we need to find a real solution.

I think we need to find out if what we ate was actually human.

I think we need to try a piece of human flesh.

I think we should give him a gorilla mask.

I think we're been kidnapped.

I think we've got to stick to the paradigm that we set up.

I think what we need to do is just talk and have fun.

I think you'll find that what we lack in formal education,

I thought it was gonna be so much more awesome than that.

I thought it was one of Mac's Project Badasstapes, so I pop

I thought long and hard and I thought,

I thought maybe we could do something different tonight.

I thought the **** scene went really well.

I thought this kind of thing went down in, like, somebody's elegant mansion.

I thought we went over this already.

I thought you might ask that.

I thought you smashed my tape, and I'm glad I didn't now, right?

I thought you were in Orlando.

I told him he was gonna do it, I knew he was gonna do it.

I told you it was people, because I wanted to freak you out,

I told you stay away from my meat!

I touch his dick. Mac, we touched his dick.

I tried. It's like they're sealed shut or something.

I tuned out during the whole tirade.

I used airplane glue, bro. That's gonna be your look for a while.

I used the last of the tape.

I used to run with this crew.

I wanna get some beers.

I wanna show those bastards today, it ain't ok to hunt humans.

I want in on this so I can screw over Deandra.

I want in the competion.

I want the glory hole. I want all those things.

I want to do and I don't want you to cut me off this time.

I want to get at you two.

I want to get that Jesus on the cross look.

I want to have a sex party. I want it all.

I want to jump in on this if that's okay,

I want to stay nice and lean and tight.

I want to win, bro. Billboard.

I want you on this side.

I want you to come over to Dennis over by his bed here, okay?

I wanted to get as far away from you as I could,

I was acquiring a little bit of cash to pay my spy, Dee.

I was also trying to do a little light reading,

I was awesome, though, right?

I was envisioning this being a lot easier than it's turning out to be.

I was going to eliminate everybody else and be the only surviving heir, so... help.

I was going to stick with the plan here, so...

I was going too fast.

I was gonna bang the witch just to get back at you, because

I was gonna say "head," but that's okay, that's all right.

I was hearing a lot of laughs out there, bro.

I was hitching through Oregon

I was hoping you'd say that.

I was just going to throw your sleeping bag in my room.

I was just waiting for my...

I was looking forward to that.

I was that little boy. That little baby boy was me.

I was the one you delivered the keg to...

I was thinking maybe you could write a new review, you know,

I was transformed...

I was ugly as you bitch.

I wasn't, I wasn't calibrating that great.

I went on a stud hunt.

I went on a stud hunt.

I whish I can live with this but I can't.

I will beat the man about the face and the neck

I will continue to wear it, in his honor.

I will create a parameter with the fire extinguisher.

I will die an honorable man.

I will go back behind the line with the rest of the filthy degenerates.

I will never marry you.

I will now light the fuse

I will now light the pyrotechnics... which are

I will put an outgoing message on his answering machine.

I will put my foot down right now.

I will say them for you. You should be more grateful!

I will smack your face off of your face.

I will write the review. I'll do whatever you want.

I wish it was, man, but that's inconclusive.

I wish to court her in some manner, and

I would be most honored to call you my wife.

I would blast in looking to neutralize, yeah?

I would never say it to his face, but Dennis has great thighs.

I would simply do it with a roundhouse kick.

I wouldn't be sticking my dick through a wall.

I wrote a memoirs. Hey, guys, Charlie found my memoirs!

I wrote a musical. It's pretty damn good, okay?

I wrote a song. I'm gonna throw it in.

I, for one, suggest me blowing fireballs to get that attention.

I, on the other hand, have not taken a shit in days.

I... okay, I think there might be a bit of a language barrier.

I'd better look in a mirror 'cause I don't know what I'm

I'd drive all night,

I'd like a water, please.

I'd say it's about 195 yards.

I'll autograph it for you a little later on.

I'll bet you Frank is throwing a party, too.

I'll blast you all over if you flinch again.

I'll burn these

I'll do it myself.

I'll fire you through that window. All right, grab the...

I'll get out of your way as soon as I get off...

I'll get some newspaper.

I'll get you, my pretty!

I'll give you guys the same deal like I gave every else.

I'll give you the notebook if you come out with me tonight.

I'll give you this much, dude: The guy's acting very weird, okay?

I'll have you know, we have a team of lawyers on retainer just

I'll hold your boobs a little better.

I'll keep the house.

I'll probably do it myself, too.

I'll see you tomorrow?

I'll show him this, uh, big breasted women chart...

I'll show you later.

I'll suck it down.

I'll take a look at it.

I'll take him to the bathroom. I'll defuse the situation.

I'll talk her to it. Don't.

I'll talk to you afterwards. Bye.

I'll tell you what, man, the more I look at this place,

I'll tell you what, why don't you go into the bathroom,

I'll tell you what. Help us out and the universe'll probably give it back to you.

I'll tell you what...

I'll tell you why. Because I'm tired of this secret bullshit.

I'll wear the goddamn condom, but I'm not psyched about it.

I'll yank it out. Then your blood's going to start going everywhere.

I'm a cowboy,

I'm a little confused as to why you've chosen to involve

I'm a witch, okay? I'm a witch!

I'm about to go live like the goddamn Queen of England

I'm alone, of course, again.

I'm also envisioning him unloading all the shit into the car.

I'm assuming this is a live grenade, yes?

I'm back.

I'm being really serious, you guys, I need some he...

I'm buying it. So, go ahead and ring that up.

I'm coming. I'm gonna come.

I'm concerned for myself and Charlie as well.

I'm Crazy Paddy, and I'm coming to you from.

I'm Crazy Paddy.

I'm Crazy Paddy...

I'm Crazy Paddy...

I'm dressed like a nobleman, okay? These people respond to royalty.

I'm eating because I'm very uncomfortable.

I'm ending this.

I'm excited about the hot dogs.

I'm fastest,

I'm fine.

I'm getting a full body scan. I've been partying real hard lately.

I'm glad you don't need it because you can't have it because it's already up.

I'm going blind.

I'm going down right now.

I'm going for gasps.

I'm going for whatever's down there and, um,

I'm going to go get some duct tape.

I'm going to kick your ass, bro.

I'm going to put them on YouTube.

I'm going to relax all over the place in a second

I'm going to relax.

I'm going to say something like that, yeah.

I'm going to smack you, I swear to God.

I'm going to take one of my characters and I'm going to

I'm gonna become like him. I'm gonna have that dude's life.

I'm gonna cut you a bargain, okay? I'm gonna cut you a little deal.

I'm gonna do a little introduction thing,

I'm gonna do it right in the back of his head.

I'm gonna do this by myself.

I'm gonna do your eyes first,

I'm gonna fire directly into it.

I'm gonna get back to my office.

I'm gonna get us into a room with Jovi himself.

I'm gonna go back to the glory hole.

I'm gonna go find some classy, sophisticated people who can

I'm gonna hang out in his office and pretend I'm the new guy.

I'm gonna ride a bike hard, I'm gonna ride a bike fast

I'm gonna roundhouse this. I'm gonna kick it, and then we can get it.

I'm gonna stop listing you as my emergency contact. I'm gonna stop calling you.

I'm gonna take off my bra, blast my nips.

I'm gonna take this, and I'll see you assholes later.

I'm gonna take this, and then,

I'm gonna take this.

I'm gonna throw this grenade into the car.

I'm gonna... could you excuse me?

I'm good.

I'm having a little trouble seeing out of it.

I'm having all the girls come in just to make sure we vibe.

I'm here to help you turn the tables on Mac and Dennis.

I'm horrified that he's even here.

I'm in rehab, goddammit!

I'm in your way.

I'm into some pretty crazy shit

I'm just going to jump in here real quick and point out

I'm just gonna go get more wasted, and then I'm gonna bang some rim, dude.

I'm just playin'.

I'm kind of... I'm thunder struck.

I'm leaving a trace. Okay... no, no, no, no.

I'm Martina Martinez.

I'm maxing out about here.

I'm no longer turned on by mules.

I'm not going to ask to be because you wouldn't let me be on it anyway.

I'm not going to do that. He wants me to bang this baby,

I'm not gonna burn it!

I'm not gonna burn or bury the duster.

I'm not gonna give you the notebook.

I'm not gonna piss on the couch, not gonna happen.

I'm not gonna talk in a Southern accent. It's bad enough that you wore this stupid disguise.

I'm not here to kill you.

I'm not sure we...

I'm not trying to screw anyone or gain anything out of it.

I'm not your slave anymore, Franklin.

I'm offering $40 million for the team.

I'm one part robot, three parts asshole".

I'm pretty sure Charlie left with a trace.

I'm putting an end to this right now.

I'm really behind the eight ball, Mac.

I'm really good at this.

I'm rifling through your music, and it's pretty terrible.

I'm serious, you guys. Something's not right.

I'm Sinbad. That's my head shot.

I'm so sick of this wall, I want to burn it up now.

I'm sorry I yelled at you, Mr. Corman.

I'm sorry, a hole to stick your dick in?

I'm sorry, bro, but I get very passionate about Sears...

I'm sorry, Dee, but my "outfits," as you like to call them,

I'm sorry, Dee. I just thought white guy over here looks better than him for some reason.

I'm sorry, I want to get this clear.

I'm sorry, I'm a little confused here.

I'm sorry, man, but this is the situation we're in, and I

I'm sorry, man, but you know, I didn't mean to hurt you,

I'm sorry, we don't just give stuff away.

I'm sorry?

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I dropped, like, a hundred dollar bill under there.

I'm sorry. I'm just playin'.

I'm sorry. That's a stupid idea and I don't want you to do it.

I'm still trying to act. We just do whatever we need to do.

I'm supposed to be expected to rember

I'm sure he started that.

I'm sure he wouldn't mind. Hey, my room's a lot bigger.

I'm sure there's plenty of Don Johnsons running around Philly, dude.

I'm surprised you've been able to be in here for this long without

I'm talking about the spirit of this man... is like a little boy.

I'm talking like not at all.

I'm talking to Bill.

I'm telling you, a bunch of inbred savages.

I'm telling you, it's gonna be great without me.

I'm the brains, you're the looks, Charlie's the wild card,

I'm the foreman. I tell you what to do.

I'm thinking about doing something to my earlobes.

I'm thinking if I get in the bed and I get real low and flat,

I'm thinking maybe three feet from the wall...

I'm thinking we take some of the really good stories,

I'm thinking, Charlie, it would be some kind of blaze of glory for you, yes...

I'm totally on board.

I'm trying to calm myself down, and hey, we got insurance,

I'm under too much stress.

I'm wanted, dead or alive...

I'm waterboarding your sister because she's

I'm willing to do anything in order to win.

I'm, like, all the way up here with it.

I've arranged for you to use the glory hole!

I've been dying to talk about the mail with you all day, okay?

I've been keeping track of all my sexual exploits,

I've been pissing in the fountain for 50 years.

I've changed my mind. I'm playing the nightman.

I've finished listening.

I've gone too far.

I've got an idea.

I've got tons of energy.

I've never been ready for anything more in my entire life.

I've never been turned on by a jaguar before.

I've never really liked my earlobes. Jesus!

If any of it were true.

If I get all balled up and small, I get too high, and

If I had to write an article about you, it would say that you're very negative.

If I spent the night on the couch.

If I was that boy, that's inside of you.

If I was that boy, that's inside of you.

If I were you, I'd start wolfing that shit down.

If I'm going wide and I'm being honest with you..

If it's a lady's foot, I'm in the clear!

If it's important, they're gonna send it again, right?

If only to shut him up.

If there's anything that I could use to my advantage.

If there's something strange.

If we don't eat this kid, we're gonna die. You know it.

If we were going to kill ourselves, it'd be awesome, right?

If we're going to be meeting sophisticated men,

If we're gonna do this, the only way it's gonna work

If we're gonna get this declaration into the hands of the queen,

If we're gonna wipe away all traces of our colonial background

If you are willing to step up, do the right thing and

If you didn't have open cans of cat food everywhere.

If you don't have a bad credit history, you can open up a store credit card.

If you guys really want to do the stigmata thing...

If you only knew

If you only knew, what I'd do to you.

If you untie him, that tape's not gonna stick back up

If you walk up to the nearest drunk guy and bup him from behind,

If you want.

If you're so into karate, you know?

Imagine us back in my sprawling manor in England.

In all of Philadelphia.

In check? There have been many stabbings in here.

In due time, pretty face.

In due time.

In fact it's so clean I would say you could eat out of these urinals.

In fact, I want to get as far away from those two as I possibly can.

In July? No, thanks.

In lieu of a body, which was most likely blown up

In order to be considered as a historical site,

In Orlando, so I want you to keep a pile in a neat stack

In other news, it seems like I have a rash in a place where

In that violent establishment is a decidedly great punishment.

In the cracking of the Liberty Bell?

In the face, and you get out of there.

In the hallway, and a twitching junkie in...

In the meantime, I need a popper, all right.

In the meantime, I need you to do a popper.

In the middle of me and Frank, okay?

In the most awesome way imaginable, I would like the duster to be burned

In the most extreme way possible, okay.

In the stink until his stomach was full of...

In this building.

In this thing called matrimony?

In two days, some Muslim Cultural Center is about to get

In your neighborhood Who you gonna call?

Inconclusive.

Indeed, indeed.

Indeed. Forgive my rather unadorned approach, but

Inhale.

Inside, inside, inside of you..

Interesting.

Is Dee's car outside?

Is Dennis with you?

Is he going to Cancun or Canada? You gotta pay attention to the details.

Is he gonna take that stupid little mannequin everywhere, man?

Is he sleeping?

Is if he thinks we're already dead.

Is if you're dressed like a man.

Is it funny? You'd better get ready, guy,

Is that a Muslim guy? He's getting in my van.

Is that a sort of sick fantasy?

Is that inspirational music, what is that?

Is that it?

Is that maybe the three of us were meant to be best friends...

Is that Rambo?

Is that stupid?

Is that there is an elite secret sex society behind that door,

Is that what that is? Look, you're not gonna shoot nails in me.

Is that's the first step to becoming hugely famous...

Is the play over?

Is there any reason behind what you're doing?

Is there anything I can do to help you out with it?

Is there something else we can get you though?

Is this a laser pointer?

Is what is most commonly referred to... as a glory hole.

Isn't Dee and Charlie?

Isn't it awesome? I'm so excited about this one.

Isn't it true you thought you'd been pooping the bed for months now?

It could be cool?

It could be really beneficial for us to go out and actually

It crept to the middle between Charlie and Frank.

It doesn't do anything for me, you know?

It doesn't hurt too bad.

It doesn't make any sense! Goddamn it, Charlie!

It doesn't make sense, man.

It even, said we're all best buds and no more turning on each other.

It feels like from where I'm standing, man and he's gonna break your heart, man.

It gets freezing in here at night, all right?

It in the VCR to watch it, I see what it is, I become violently ill, okay?

It involves pulling up our bootstraps, oiling up a couple

It is a bloodbath! We have got to do something!

It is absolutely astonishing how bad your idea is.

It is absolutely disgusting.

It is my house and I should own it!

It is not a she male thing...

It is shit. This is a barnyard.

It is, it is.

It is?

It looks like Cricket finally snapped.

It looks like he's got a lot of new friends.

It makes you feel, like, extremely sick and tired.

It needs to reflect you as an individual.

It probably just fell out the bottom of it.

It really is the only thing you can do now 'cause you're in this too deep.

It really wasn't.

It says at the top : "List of demands

It sounds pretty good. I'm not losing the teeth. Let's just move past that.

It started. It started.

It took me all day, but I finally finished a list of ten people that would be perfect to hunt.

It was a raccoon.

It was expensive. I'm sorry, I want to get my money's worth.

It was great, right? You just kind of got in the way.

It was my thighs, dude, it's always been my thighs.

It was pretty cool for like a week, and then I banged one of them.

It was probably going to end up mine eventually, so...

It was very weird.

It won't catch on to anything is the problem, man.

It would be with class, right, I mean, because we're worth it.

It'd be more extreme and kind of awesome.

It'll be great. And there you go.

It'll be perfectly safe.

It'll blow you to safety.

It's a history about us!

It's a little late, isn't it?

It's a mailroom gig, and there's only one spot available.

It's a more authentic look. I think that's what you're feeling.

It's a pretty good idea if you want to get that notebook back.

It's a shark tank up there.

It's a YouTube video that me, Dee and and Charlie just made

It's about how you can get whatever you want without having to work for it.

It's about time I got my modeling career off the ground anyway.

It's actually making me think I can get on board with man hunt.

It's Advertising 101: long legs, taut breasts and tight poopers.

It's all about psychological damage.

It's all about the reveal

It's all bullshit. It's a big scam.

It's all the same

It's all they're talking about up there.

It's almost as if it exploded out of the artist.

It's almost as if you can smell it.

It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia 4x03

It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia 4x04 05 : "Mac and Charlie Die"

It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia 4x08.

It's burning me up inside. It's burning me up.

It's Charlie's poop and not mine.

It's covered in sand or something.

It's definitely way too over cooked to be succulent,

It's extreme, just like we are.

It's five stars, so...

It's for tearing stuff down.

It's for the renovation, man. It's for the controlled burns.

It's freaking me out.

It's going to be a while, so...

It's going to cheer you up.

It's gonna be a long night.

It's gonna be awesome and... Some other stuff.

It's gonna be huge

It's gonna go both ways, dude.

It's gonna happen.

It's important that we get rid of anything

It's insane!

It's just gonna distract us through the meeting.

It's just gonna distract us.

It's just like our normal lives, except at the end of it we get to put our nuts in some dude's mouth.

It's just one, two, three, and then four, you win.

It's just so cramped in here.

It's just the best hiding spot. There aren't a lot of good hiding spots here, man.

It's just you and us, and a..

It's just, a couple of dicks destroyed my car and then forced me

It's just, like, no way it could have been me.

It's like a bad acid trip in here.

It's like a half nude buffet party.

It's like a security cam except it's for banging.

It's like a security cam except it's for banging.

It's like a shield of armor, so stop asking me to burn the duster.

It's like a turtle shell down there.

It's like role play!

It's like... What is this place, dude?

It's making me forget that Mac ever even died.

It's mostly that horrible angle that you see in porns,

It's no longer a bowling ball, Frank, it's now a wrecking ball.

It's no problem, dude.

It's not actual sauce.

It's not going to look cool.

It's not gonna help us in any way, shape or form.

It's not gonna work.

It's not my poop!

It's not our fault. It's nature.

It's not supposed to... it's flame retardant.

It's not that much counting.

It's not that tough to be you, Frank.

It's not the way the British dress, bro.

It's not? Really?

It's nothing. You don't need to see it.

It's nuts! You don't know how hard I got it, Dee.

It's only libel if what I write is false.

It's over.

It's pretty complicated.

It's really freaking me out!

It's so good though. I don't care.

It's so hard

It's so strange, but appealing.

It's so stupid. Mac, please tell me you got something.

It's starting right on time.

It's still pretty delicious.

It's still savory, right?

It's terrible, man.

It's the mystery behind the poop.

It's the only safe way to do this, okay?

It's the real deal here.

It's the rehab center.

It's the safest way, Frank.

It's Thursday, September 30th about midnight.

It's totally broken.

It's totally ruined

It's ture she's coming?

It's unbelievable...

It's very European.

It's very expensive.

It's very, very thin. It speaks volumes about you as a person".

It's your turn to take the bedpan out tonight.

It's, like, "Hey, everybody, look at me.

It's, uh, pretty heavy on the kidnapping aspect.

Its always sunny in philly 404.

Jamming feces into each other's assholes, okay?

Jan, this is what I want, man. You've given me what I want.

Jan, you were gonna have him "glory hole" me.

Jesus Christ, Charlie! You broke the window?

Jesus Christ, dude, we are going to lose our jobs.

Jesus Christ, dude, what are you doing? You can't tape him up like that.

Jesus Christ, dude, what's going on in here?

Jesus Christ, dude, will you forget the mail, all right?

Jesus Christ, dude.

Jesus Christ, Frank, you sleep in that?

Jesus Christ, Frank.

Jesus Christ, guys, I can't stop this van!

Jesus Christ, just leave it at that.

Jesus Christ, no.

Jesus Christ, oh, this is bad. This is bad, man.

Jesus Christ!

Jesus Christ!

Jesus, man, they must be really broken up.

Jesus, man. What's with the note? I mean what's with the our tricks.

Jesus, Rex, I didn't tell you to start eating yet.

Jesus.

Juarez, be easy.

Just climb to the top.

Just feel like this is the best thing to do here.

Just get her out there and get the play started!

Just get him out of the car and into the bar, Charlie.

Just get into the bar, and make sure Charlie doesn't do anything stupid.

Just get into the bed, please, and show us how you sleep, guys.

Just get out there.

Just go! Just go! Go, go, go!

Just jeans and no shirt.

Just leave it in the middle of the two of you.

Just marry me.

Just me out there in the middle of the night in the dark by myself. Really?

Just move past it.

Just please get me out of this bathroom before I vomit.

Just put it down.

Just stand before us here.

Just start grabbing as much stuff as you can.

Just take some of those stories out.

Just tell us what's in there.

Just to be clear, I did not write that song,

Just to be clear.

Just to get back home

Just to make sure.

Just to write a musical. Does there have to be a reason? I don't think so.

Just use your witch strength, slave.

Just want to make sure you got the total picture on me

Just... get me the flamethrower.

Keep singing, bitch!

Keep walking straight...

Keep your pants on, curly.

Keeps violence in check, like Swayze in Roadhouse. I'm the cooler.

Kick it, man.

Kicking someone in the nuts. And people will go, "Hey, what's this wacky place?

Kill you, kill us, kill everybody really.

Kind of a package deal.

Knock this story!

Know what? My name is Sinbad. This is Sinbad's house!

Known the world over for his ability to replicate any man's stool,

Lacking any semblance of moral fortitude.

Ladies, can I help you?

Late night commercial you'd see, like, on the cable network or something.

Laughs are cheap.

Launch a viral video and promote Paddy's myself.

Learn how to kick. Take one karate class

Leave it alone with the beans.

Leave it alone.

Leave it there.

Leaving 'em to live in the hell on earth that they've created for themselves

Leg movement.

Legal help? What the hell you talking about, man?

Legally, I have to pay you something, but, uh,

Let him eat my butt into smithereens

Let me ask you a question, though.

Let me do a little demonstration on you.

Let me do my thing. Let me do the seducing.

Let me see if the lamp takes a little dent out of it.

Let me see that.

Let me see what I got.

Let me talk to you.

Let me, let me, let me just demonstrate something.

Let's crack a couple of them open. Let's get tipsy.

Let's do it.

Let's do it.

Let's do it.

Let's do this.

Let's get a backdraft going. Frank, you ready?

Let's get him into the bar; and then let's figure out what we need to do.

Let's get him.

Let's get it down.

Let's get out of here.

Let's get some new outfits. That's a great idea.

Let's get up out of here, man. Get that, we're gonna read some smut.

Let's go ahead and ring that up.

Let's go at it with the wrecking ball for a little while.

Let's go talk to Corman. He's writing that new review.

Let's go, come on. Come on, move it.

Let's go, ladies. Let's go, let's go.

Let's go.

Let's have a board game night. Chinese checkers, I got...

Let's hop on these treadmills and, uh, you know, let's do this thing.

Let's hope she's got some new jokes this time.

Let's just do all the tests you've got, okay?

Let's just do this.

Let's just do this. Action!

Let's just keep him in the trunk for now.

Let's just pick one before he gets here.

Let's keep walking. Okay, try it again. Try it again.

Let's let's all agree that we're gonna go about this

Let's make a plan.

Let's move past it, let's put it behind us, guys.

Let's not be rash, right? I mean, come on.

Let's not talk about how it happened, okay? It just happened.

Let's not talk about the dress anymore.

Let's pick the second one where we don't actually die.

Let's pick this bad boy up.

Let's put it behind us, and let's concentrate on what's really important.

Let's put it this way, you won't be able to see anybody's

Let's scare the shit out of them.

Let's start by taking down all of their names.

Let's take their lack of dedication as a lesson, shall we?

Let's talk about the pressing charges.

Let's talk stigmatas.

Let's talk to taste.

Let's try and work this down a bit, okay?

Let's try this one.

Like a gentleman does a lady.

Like if you drag that out... Are you chewing gum?

Like maybe Bruce is banging dudes.

Like television.

Like this pool cue. Here we go.

Like what I'm seeing here, Frank. Bring me up to speed.

Like your shoe, item with a catch fanny, like nothing's working, right?

Like, a hundred times now.

Like, all morning.

Like, the credit card companies... the way they waste your time.

Like, you can't catch them when they run away from you?

Like, you get one taste of delicious, delicious human meat,

Listen to the whole thing. We're gonna catch that son of a bitch red handed.

Listen, I pick the music in this class, okay?

Listen, this jamoke is giving our money to terrorists,

Listen, today was the worst day ever.

Listen, we need to get that company credit card from Frank.

Listen, we wanted to come in and just let you know we're sorry

Local establishment Patrick's Pub.

Look at that wedding dress, dude.

Look at the rich texture, the dimensions.

Look at... He... Dennis on his bed made for kings

Look how vascular I am. Look at how my veins are popping.

Look into the camera and cry a little.

Look, bro, can I be honest with you?

Look, buddy, 2003 Dennis, okay, he was Grade A prime beefcake.

Look, Dee. We're cannibals now.

Look, every great crew in history has followed that basic dynamic, right?

Look, Frank, you got us into a room with Jovi's people, right?

Look, I don't give you a shit what you think.

Look, I have this very kinky surprise for you, my friend.

Look, I just wrote a musical to write a musical, okay?

Look, I know you're going to be alone tonight, okay?

Look, I like this by the way. This is a sweet duster.

Look, I'm gonna fix your house

Look, I'm pretty confused about what I'm seeing here, I'm in a lot of pain.

Look, I'm the one who watches Home Makeover.

Look, if the cops are going to identify the bodies,

Look, if we don't feed the hunger, we can die for that.

Look, if we're not gonna haunt them, we should have a little fun, right?

Look, it doesn't matter. I got a plan to prove it to you anyway.

Look, it's a simple job.

Look, it's all here in the notebook, so stop busting

Look, let's just find a hiding spot, okay?

Look, Mac and I are hobo drifters now, okay?

Look, this really isn't necessary. You don't have to tape me...

Look, we don't have any money, okay?

Look, we're going back to the original plan, okay?

Look, you get a whole bunch of them together, you make them

Look, you want to die?

Look.

Looking for someone who could replicate Charlie's small

Looks like he's whittled it into some sort of defensive tool.

Looks like you two're up and enjoying my meat!

Looks, brains, wild card. Think about it.

Love, Dad.

Lower your cutting tool, please.

Ma'am, either you get behind the line or your ride ends here.

Ma'am, I am dying of very terminal cancer,

Ma'am, I'm going to need for you to step behind the line.

Mac and Charlie are dead.

Mac here with another installment of Project Bad ass.

Mac is dead and he's still bossing me around.

Mac is not dead, Dennis.

Mac probably.

Mac rammed into some dude's car, like, five times. It was amazing.

Mac to the rescue. Let me just back up.

Mac, check this out though. You're going to be the muscle.

Mac, half the employees in this building have been made up.

Mac, we're going to need supplies on the road, okay.

Mac's number one.

Madam.

Magazines, magazines. Here... magazines.

Make a vision board, put your house on it... boom.

Make sure it's bigger.

Makes you feel good. Helps you sleep.

Man is crazy with gun

Man, I am excited to bust my dogs out in these tonight.

Man, why'd you have to go there?

Man, you about to get me jacked up, man. Is that what you're trying to do?

Man, you should really brush your teeth more because that is not normal.

Mastersfield steps up to the tee, eight strokes behind the leader.

Matchbox 20, ooh.

Maybe a little bit later we could do some hand stuff.

Maybe helping other people is the best way to help ourselves.

Maybe I can throw Green Man into a couple of your videos,

Maybe I put some collagen in your eye.

Maybe I wasn't. The point is moot now. So can you please help me out here?

Maybe it's for burning the extra rubble.

Maybe some type of explosion?

Maybe that load in the head did more damage that we thought.

Maybe the cops will think we just, like, I don't know...

Maybe the two of you are plotting against me.

Maybe throw in some more jokes or something, you know?

Maybe we should open up a bottle of desert wine.

Maybe we should put a dude up there, certainly not him.

Maybe you can look into it for me.

Maybe you didn't get it. I'm crazy 'cause I'm pricing the beer too low.

Maybe you'll get some balls and you can take the woman.

Maybe you're right 'cause I need to calm my nerves a bit, dude.

Maybe, if we shoot you, you won't feel it anyway, witch.

Maybe, it's a trick.

Maybe.

Me, I'm Jesus.

Memoires are back. The story with the doush bag,

Merrily I be able to guide you toward some interest in some purchase.

Mine's completely wedged in there.

Minimum wage.

Miraculously appearing on your hands and feet!

Mm, and what, uh, part of history might that be?

More often than not, there's a dude.

Morning after morning, you'd bury your poop after you rose

Most men find me to be an eight or nine out of ten.

Motivated individuals. Good interpersonal skills".

Move it, that's right. Go, go, go!

Move that bus!

Move to strike!

Move to strike!

Mr. Bovine Joni himself.

Mr. Corman lives across the hall.

Mr. Taylor whose grandpa was a sailor.

Mr. White whose wife is not too bright, there you go.

Ms. Reynolds, you have no health insurance?

My arm's kind of numb. Dennis, can you feel my head? Am I hot?

My bad, I didn't know you was hurting like that. My bad.

My balls and let's go meet some men.

My best friend.

My best friends went on a blaze of glory

My body is absorbing every single nutrient,

My body is doing its job like it's never done before.

My body was sculpted to the proportions of Michelangelo's David.

My body's working at 100% efficiency, yeah.

My boss is a woman.

My bouncing abilities. Okay?

My boy...

My cat is diabetic. She needs her insulin shot. Please!

My cat is diabetic. She needs her insulin shot. Please!

My characters are what make it work.

My crew, what crew?

My dad got out on parole. He's coming to kill me and Charlie.

My feelings 'cause I have a problem, okay?

My God!

My God! Recreate some of the better stories in here,

My God! Whoa!

My God.

My head is sweating like shit.

My heart is very weak. It's a lot of pressure.

My heart rate's up. Things are going great.

My intel tells me that Bruce moved into this crappy apartment complex.

My legs get hot.

My mission's extremely close to being complete. But I need a favor.

My nose was chiseled by the gods themselves, Frank.

My teeth are scattered throughout the car,

Nah. We're just a couple oil men in from Dallas, and, well,

Name one friend.

Name's Artemis.

Naturally.

Neglecting this entire time.

Never, apparently.

New plan... we're going to a hospital.

Next thing I know, I'm following this guy home and forcing him

Next thing you know,

Next thing you know, I had a whole army of cops chasing me through the woods.

Nice, brand new Blu Ray DVD player, all hooked up.

Nice.

Nice. Yeah, well, you know, I could probably consider, like,

No American judgments here. The only rule is: don't tell me your names.

No charges, no names.

No dress, grenade.

No ID, no nothing.

No Jager Bombs.

No more Green Man. And we're not doing it anymore.

No more interruptions now, Dee. Thank you, please.

No more S's for you.

No one is disputing that. He was a stallion.

No one is going to step in shit.

No one's gonna do that. What did you say to her?

No one's mourning me properly.

No one's supposed to be laughing.

No thoughts on that?

No trash cans, only cars.

No way! Is it a good review?

No, actually, we just started the whole makeover process.

No, buddy, listen.

No, but it's cleaned up.

No, but uh, word on the street is he's out of here begging must Saturdays.

No, Charlie wrote a musical and came to Dee with it.

No, Charlie, I got up in the middle of the night,

No, Charlie. This is not right. I still have the crazy.

No, Dennis, we have to prove, we have to make photos, we have to sign documents.

No, don't... just... What is your name, sir?

No, dude, just let Dennis do his thing, okay?

No, Frank, I don't want to go down by the bridge.

No, goddamn it, don't pull the bus over, all right?

No, hang on a second.

No, he can't piss in his pants, Charlie!

No, hobo drifters live in the present.

No, hold up, uh, somebody took a couple years of Spanish in high school.

No, I appreciate you looking for me and finding it for me.

No, I didn't leave it. I thought you left it.

No, I didn't lie. I sware to God, it was all real, Sinbad was here, I swear.

No, I didn't.

No, I don't think I can, right? What is that?

No, I don't think that the voice is entirely necessary, so I'm not gonna do it.

No, I think a couple of severe burns

No, I want it happen to me, but I'm not going back to that morgue.

No, I was not.

No, I will never go out with you. Oh, my God!

No, I...

No, I'm an Econ major.

No, I'm not. This happened to me.

No, I'm playing!

No, I'm unscathed, my darling.

No, I've preferred the white meat. I always have.

No, it can't, but it could be Dennis.

No, it is not blowing our minds at all.

No, it looks very much like a van **** to me, but whatever.

No, it seems like he's got a bunch of goddamn dance mixes.

No, it's a very charming, charming place.

No, it's not a fantasy, I didn't make it up, Sinbad was here, I sware.

No, look. I'm holding homeboy's arms back.

No, Mac, seriously...

No, man. You're... this is a dream that you're having.

No, my name doesn't start with a "W."

No, no, but it's not just that though, Mac, it's not.

No, no, I will not.

No, no, it's my thing, it's bigger.

No, no, no food. I don't eat when I'm here.

No, no, no, bro, come on. We don't have time.

No, no, no, don't die yet! Don't die yet until you get me to your mansion.

No, no, no, don't, don't!

No, no, no, no, no. Not yet.

No, no, no, okay, hold on a second, okay, all right, so...

No, no, no, this is not important. This is not important right now, okay?

No, no, no, you need deep wounds.

No, no, no. Can't do that, sis.

No, no, no. Fine. Just just untape me.

No, no, no. Get out of here!

No, no, you got a letter the other day.

No, no, you got to say, "Corta". That means "cut".

No, no. It's something else.

No, no. You got to be behind me. I got to have you behind me.

No, nobody's gonna have an orgy in their mansion.

No, not the generator.

No, not the morgue. I'm with you on this.

No, now look, we'd been tea bagging Cricket since high school, you know?

No, of course she didn't.

No, of course, let me do it

No, okay, all right.

No, people will see it from the street and pull in.

No, see, right there. It sounds like "hole".

No, thank you.

No, that place is terrible.

No, that wasn't us. That was somebody else's idea.

No, that's chemo, that's chemotherapy right there.

No, that's not gonna work, you know why?

No, that's too small.

No, there was no turtles anywhere.

No, there's no... there's no mark, guys.

No, this is the best way to hide in my apartment.

No, wait, wait, Dee. What? Oh my god no.

No, we are simply two noble Britishmen out on a stroll.

No, we can go back. That's too dangerous.

No, we just got to figure out a way to get this gas back to

No, we need to do it together.

No, we're gonna hunt you.

No, you absolutely could not eat out of these urinals.

No, you can't walk right up to it and shoot.

No, you do have something to do. You're the wild card.

No, you do, man.

No, you don't know. You don't have the hunger.

No, you don't **** him. You become him.

No, you don't, bitch!

No, you got to stay far away cause it's gonna blow up, dude

No, you're good.

No, you're not!

No, you're the looks, I'm the brains, Charlie's the wild card.

No! Look, let me just walk you guys through this, okay?

No! No!

No! Stop it! Don't do it.

No! We wouldn't.

No! Well, yes. I mean, I was eating the old cheese

No?

No.

No.

No.

No.

No.

No.

No. It smells like some kind of spice blend or pesticide,

No. No, I'm gonna be Charlie, you're gonna be Dennis.

No. No, you didn't let me finish. I don't...

No. Should I?

No. That's not what YouTube videos are like.

No. That's sensible. You don't even have to ask.

No. The second poop belonged to Charles.

Nobody cares about arena football anymore.

Nobody move!

Nobody wants to play Sex and the City with you.

Nobody's gonna throw detergent in my eyeballs on a runway, Frank!

None of these stuff ever satisfies you, ever again for the rest of your life.

None of your business.

Nope. Okay.

Not a bad idea.

Not burning the duster.

Not going to accept our apology?

Not me actually, my life was pretty sweet.

Not much, just enjoying the view.

Not only do all of these people exist, but they have been asking

Not only do I consider it magnificent,

Not really.

Not so fast now. That's a nice looking cart of pumpkins you got here.

Not that many times. If you get it once, you've won the game.

Not when my nips are like this.

Not yet, buddy.

Nothing with bombs in the name, okay?

Nothing, man. You're having a dream right now.

Nothing!

Nothing.

Now a diabetic cat is in play? Jesus, we can't catch a break.

Now according to my sources in the field, the waitress is seeing somebody.

Now all we need is to get our faces nice and tight,

Now has Charlie seen these? I bet he would love 'em.

Now he says "over and out." I can't believe he just said "over and out."

Now he wants to start helping us.

Now I have to play the piano and I'm all up here.

Now I think we should just probably leave the body right here, right?

Now I'm here to ask for your hand,

Now I'm here, okay? I am, I'm past where I thought I could go.

Now if there's anything though that we can do,

Now is not the right time to pull the wild card, okay?

Now is not the time to talk about that.

Now let me hear the voice.

Now let's go over what we're doing again.

Now let's talks stigmatas.

Now take your medication.

Now these are the gas prices last year.

Now this next lady you all know because she's here almost every night.

Now we're talking.

Now who's ready for a makeover?

Now you're accusing me of things. You just don't get it.

Now, back to the cooler conversation that we were having earlier.

Now, Charlie and Frank, show us how you were positioned

Now, check out his legs.

Now, Dennis, you take that confession to the police, use

Now, eat one of these, all right?

Now, first things first. We got to figure out how to get you into rehab.

Now, Frank says it's not him.

Now, Frank, when we get back to the bar, you waterboard the shit

Now, from here on out, I'm gonna refer to you only as Dennis.

Now, get me a flagon of ale. Get your own ale, dick.

Now, hold on a second there, Frank.

Now, I can't say for sure.

Now, I got a question for you.

Now, I see people utilizing a lot of shakes and powders around here.

Now, I would check out my environment, and I would look to see

Now, if he doesn't go for that, he's just a straight up retard.

Now, if we stick together, guys, we can do anything.

Now, in case you have to pee pee, I got this for you, all right?

Now, it's really more about smarts than anything else.

Now, Johnson's gone AWOL for the week with the wife and kids down

Now, judging by the distance, I'm thinking I could get it up

Now, let's just go back to the morgue, ok? This is shit.

Now, let's talk about the elephant in the room.

Now, let's talk about the mail.

Now, Mac, please, do you think you can find this guy and kick his ass for me?

Now, my good gentleman, what says you of my fine furs here?

Now, question: Frank, does that waterboard really work?

Now, run me through how we're gonna do this with Dee.

Now, Sambora's presence is not necessary,

Now, that was funny. Dee, that's awesome!

Now, that, that is what you call a stallion.

Now, the further and wider I go,

Now, the least important stuff, I'm gonna burn that.

Now, the second poop, you held onto it, right?

Now, this is a strange bank.

Now, this is smart.

Now, we ain't gonna take no for an answer now, you hear? Okay?

Now, we won't charge you for the duct tape.

Now, what if I just slip my foot over like this, as if to say,

Now, what if we soaked it in beer?

Now, when's your crew arriving?

Now, while we wait, I was thinking we expose them to some

Now, why would you hang a painting like this on your wall?

Now, you admit that Bruce Mathis is a terrorist...

Now, you don't see Ty Pennington losing his cool.

Now, you guys, you all know Artemis.

Now, you seem like a sweet, sophisticated, nice, busy, young lady,

Now, you're clear on these instructions, right?

Now!

Now... what's your bean situation?

Number one, I'd like to get rid of these crow's feet that I have

Objection!

Occupado.

Of asses and doing a little plowing of our own.

Of course he knows it. He's the one who lost the house by letting you into it.

Of course I can, man. I'm European.

Of course it would be with class!

Of course it's going to be a blaze of glory.

Of course there is.

Of course there's going to be an explosion.

Of course.

Of strawberry blond haired, covered balls.

Of yours; you got to get that gas pedal fixed, man.

Off, that should be a rule. Can that be a rule?

Officially declare Paddy's Pub to be the worst bar in Philly".

Oh my god, Charlie. I didn't wanna say anything,

Oh my god, I know man. I'm so exited, feel my nips.

Oh my god, I wanna eat him as much as you wanna eat him,

Oh my god, that happened to me. It won't happen to you?

Oh my god. All the time that happens.

Oh my god. Are you kidding me? You gorilla masked me?

Oh, boy.

Oh, Charlie, oh, I wanted to eat that lady so bad.

Oh, Charlie, stop pulling your teeth out like that, man.

Oh, Charlie!

Oh, come on, you're not gonna be able to break this window

Oh, cool. Did you get one for me?

Oh, cut it off!

Oh, damn it.

Oh, damn! He got to us, Dennis.

Oh, Dee, we were just on the verge of a major breakthrough.

Oh, definitely, definitely.

Oh, don't lie to me! Come on, admit it!

Oh, dude, Dee and I cooked up a great steak.

Oh, geez. All right, Wild Card, do your thing.

Oh, God, he's got some sick, twisted obsession with us, man, and, like...

Oh, God, I had the weirdest night. It was crazy.

Oh, God, I think I'm going blind in one eye.

Oh, god, oh, god. I know you're up to something.

Oh, God, you guys. Oh, weird, I feel weird.

Oh, God!

Oh, God! There's evil twins in the...

Oh, god.

Oh, God.

Oh, God...

Oh, goddamn it! What the hell, man?!

Oh, goddamn it.

Oh, good one.

Oh, great.

Oh, great.

Oh, hey, pal. Oh, check out this new setup, man.

Oh, hold on a second, bro.

Oh, I am definitely, definitely saying no.

Oh, I could wear it though! I should wear it.

Oh, I just want to get it over with, too, but I want you

Oh, I know. You know what.

Oh, I love it, I love it. Hey, feel free to be free.

Oh, I use this fountain for killing powers.

Oh, I use this fountain for killing powers.

Oh, I'm not feeling good at all.

Oh, I'm sorry, Dee.

Oh, I'm sorry, Dee.

Oh, I'm sorry, no, it's Terry.

Oh, I'm sorry.

Oh, I'm sorry. What gave it away?

Oh, is it, Frank? That's funny, 'cause that's how I got the house.

Oh, it feels a little weird.

Oh, it makes everybody cry.

Oh, it's a new review by Corman.

Oh, it's just so doggone thin.

Oh, it's not exactly what I thought it was gonna be, either, but it's okay.

Oh, it's the pain, huh?

Oh, it's the secret.

Oh, Jesus! He's right. We've got to get rid of this body.

Oh, Jesus.

Oh, just give that to me. One star.

Oh, kinky. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I like this.

Oh, man, I would kill for your bowel movements right now.

Oh, man, I'm sorry.

Oh, maybe I'll get two TVs and two refrigerators.

Oh, Mehar! Let's bribe Mehar.

Oh, my God

Oh, my God, are you guys going to make this about this?

Oh, my God, bro, I thought you were smashing my Project Bad ass tape because you hated it.

Oh, my God, check it out.

Oh, my God, check this out.

Oh, my God, dude, I'm freaking out.

Oh, my God, freak show back there.

Oh, my God, get off our case, Dee, all right? What's done is done.

Oh, my god, good job!

Oh, my God, he's soin love with us.

Oh, my God, how do hobos fit all this stuff into a bandana?!

Oh, my God, I don't know what you're talking about!

Oh, my God, I feel like you're really focused on one

Oh, my God, I'm so happy to see you

Oh, my God, that'll work.

Oh, my God, we're going to get sick eventually.

Oh, my God, what is wrong with you?

Oh, my God, when will that show die?

Oh, my God, where is the tape?

Oh, my God, why would I ever go out with you?

Oh, my God, you put that on YouTube?

Oh, my God, you scared me!

Oh, my God!

Oh, my God! Shut up!

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God. Dude!

Oh, my God. If the British come in here and find this body, we are screwed.

Oh, my neighbors are great.

Oh, my... really?

Oh, no no no, I was. See, I had a plan.

Oh, no no no, wait wait wait wait! Your love, your love can.

Oh, no, no, no. I apologize.

Oh, no, that's gone.

Oh, no, they're not going to.

Oh, no, you stay put. I'll get it.

Oh, no. No, shit, bro. Why'd you do that, bro?

Oh, no. That happened to me.

Oh, no. We... we... Okay.

Oh, not cool? Oh, I'll tell you what's not cool

Oh, nothing. Just got a couple long range walkie talkies.

Oh, oh, what about a monkey? Monkeys are like nature's humans.

Oh, okay. I'm gonna go get you some water.

Oh, shit, Charlie. Now it is.

Oh, shit, dude, I know what it is.

Oh, shit, look at this, dude!

Oh, shit, where the hell did he...?

Oh, shit!

Oh, shit! For real?

Oh, shit.

Oh, shit. That's what we've been doing.

Oh, that's all right. I mean we could probably just...

Oh, that's Artemis.

Oh, that's me, that's my phone.

Oh, that's not good. We didn't mean to...

Oh, that's perfect! We can help the Juarez family.

Oh, that's true.

Oh, the past isn't useful. You got to forget about it.

Oh, this is going to be great, sis.

Oh, this is great, Dee. This is perfect.

Oh, wait a second.

Oh, we do? Oh we do, we have to honor them?

Oh, we gotta do something about it.

Oh, well, that would be fine and dandy...

Oh, well, we got to suffer just because some old dude

Oh, well, we, we wouldn't want that now, would we?

Oh, well, you know...

Oh, will you settle down and have another cup of coffee?

Oh, wow, a free ticket to a play that I don't want to see.

Oh, yeah, Dad?

Oh, yeah, here we go.

Oh, yeah, is it? I bet.

Oh, yeah, just relax, roommate

Oh, yeah, sorry about that, Rex. My bad.

Oh, yeah, this is outrageous.

Oh, yeah, yeah, that's part of it.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Aye.

Oh, yeah? Great. Okay, have fun.

Oh, yeah? Take a look at your mouth, you tell me.

Oh, yeah?! Back off!

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah. Big time. What do you see?

Oh, yes! It's like...

Oh, you got a human meat guy?

Oh, you son of a bitches!

Oh, you're not disturbing me at all. It's great to see you two again.

Oh, you've got to be kidding me.

Oh! Makes me so mad.

Oh! That's awesome.

Oh! That's...

Oh.

Ohh, I don't think I'll be sleeping inyourbed tonight.

Ok, alright. Calm down.

Ok, are we done here?

Ok, Cricket got to us. He got to us.

Ok, here we go, bitchies..

Ok, how did his legs just do that?

Ok, I'm a weirdo, says the guy, who yogurt up his ass.

Ok, let's talk. Let's have a quick conversation, huh? What do you think?

Ok, let's, let's think here. Let's put our heads together.

Ok, ok.

Ok, the bad news is..

Ok, the good news is the gorilla mask, the purple tea bag both totally viable options, right?

Ok, we'll take, um, that big brown mound and

Ok, what's going on here, huh?

Ok? Maybe, he went and got some weird, exotic meat that we wouldn't think to try.

Ok? We're just here to eat some dude.

Okay, 'cause I don't want to see that man right now.

Okay, 'cause that's what it sounded like. What did you mean?

Okay, all right, let's do that, then

Okay, all right, that one got in my mouth. That's really not cool.

Okay, all right. Listen, man, we got a proposal for you, okay?

Okay, and I'll use my cooling abilities to smooth things over

Okay, Anya said yes.

Okay, Anya, so they are in fact, double Ds

Okay, Artemis, please don't talk to the talent.

Okay, as you know, in the world of modeling,

Okay, attention, ladies, gentlemen, hotties and beefcakes.

Okay, bag 'em.

Okay, bring me up to speed here, boys.

Okay, bro, want to play hard ball, fine.

Okay, bud.

Okay, buddy, you ready?

Okay, but after talking to a few of them,

Okay, but can we establish that I'm the cooler?

Okay, but here's the thing. I couldn't find any blindfolds per say,

Okay, Charlie, I'm gonna have to stop you right there.

Okay, clearly, we need to figure this out before it tears us apart.

Okay, clearly, we're having a problem with honesty here.

Okay, Dee, the song is history.

Okay, Dee, you got the blindfolds, right?

Okay, everybody, come on the stage that I have prepared to

Okay, fine, you know what?

Okay, fine.

Okay, Frank, can I talk to you for a second?

Okay, gangbangers. That is an awesome story, Dee.

Okay, gather around.

Okay, go, go, go!

Okay, good work, Frank.

Okay, good.

Okay, good. But here's a good side.

Okay, got it.

Okay, great, then the Juarez family it is. It's settled

Okay, great. We'll steal it. We'll use it as a part of blaze of glory.

Okay, great. Well, then I'm out of here.

Okay, great. You said yes.

Okay, guys, everybody calm down, please.

Okay, here we go.

Okay, here's a baby pool that you're all going to get into.

Okay, hold it right here.

Okay, hold on a second.

Okay, hold on, I'm stepping on this dress.

Okay, hold still.

Okay, I got to go fill her a dick hole, bro.

Okay, I think we're on the same page.

Okay, I understand the plan.

Okay, I'll go get yesterday's newspaper.

Okay, I'm afraid I'm gonna have to ask you to leave.

Okay, I'm going to grab a knife, I'm going to jab it into your neck,

Okay, I'm here. I don't want to be here, okay?

Okay, I'm just gonna sleep for, like, 15 minutes, right?

Okay, I'm just gonna throw this out there.

Okay, I'm not burning the duster.

Okay, I'm not...

Okay, if we're gonna do that, we got to be very careful,

Okay, it's 2:30

Okay, it's time

Okay, it's time to move on to the reenactment and dramatization.

Okay, it's time to move on to us, the people who are going to live on.

Okay, let me do the talking.

Okay, let me get this straight.

Okay, let's hold on that.

Okay, let's see, Frank.

Okay, listen, don't do that. Please don't do that.

Okay, listen, I was going to say we fake our own death,

Okay, listen, man, since you're here and you've got all this beer,

Okay, listen, man, you stay as long as you want to, man,

Okay, look, look. Nobody has to write anything against their will, okay?

Okay, maybe there wouldn't be cats surrounding your building

Okay, maybe we can just release him, and that way, this won't be a kidnapping

Okay, Mr. Corman, why don't you just go ahead and sign this.

Okay, normally, that wouldn't happen unless I wanted it to.

Okay, now, let me just get this tape off you, and you could be on your way.

Okay, okay, and I think I know the most extreme way to go about this.

Okay, okay, but I don't want to be on your billboard.

Okay, okay, I admit it!

Okay, okay.

Okay, once he gets near you, you have to sense him, okay?

Okay, plan is simple.

Okay, set that down in front of him.

Okay, so I'm thinking

Okay, so the sex tape is gone, then?

Okay, so wait.

Okay, so we can wheel, we can deal, we can oversee hostile takeovers.

Okay, so we're... we're really sorry about this, Mr. Corman.

Okay, so you're not gonna follow me home anymore

Okay, so, as my blood brother, I need to confide a secret to you.

Okay, so, just to clarify

Okay, take these box cutters, put them in his bedroom.

Okay, that is not gonna blow a car up, okay?

Okay, that's fair. The end, I guess.

Okay, the first competion is the underwear competion.

Okay, the mail doesn't stop down there, Mac.

Okay, there has been a major miscommunication.

Okay, there's something I want to talk to you about.

Okay, they're on the move.

Okay, uh, audible. Grab the camera.

Okay, wait a second. My life was also very honorable.

Okay, we all have our hopes and dreams, Charlie.

Okay, we can play it that way, Corman.

Okay, we give them amnesia. It's so easy, here how you do it.

Okay, we're gonna start climbing just a little more.

Okay, well, as you know, Charlie thinks that he and I are

Okay, well, Charlie, I got a question for you. Who's playing this lead boy?

Okay, well, I am definitely rejecting your request for

Okay, well, I guess a deal's a deal, so pop those

Okay, well, it looks like you've got this under control.

Okay, well, let's go. Everybody should be in bed with the lights off.

Okay, well, let's just...

Okay, well, see, here's the problem.

Okay, well, so what are you thinking?

Okay, well... it's definitely poop.

Okay, what's the status there, best friend two?

Okay, you guys ready?

Okay, you know what, you guys have me up to here.

Okay? I've stumbled onto a major company conspiracy, Mac.

Okay? It's too soon to sell this gas anyway, so shut the door.

Okay? Let's just do this. This is... Trust me.

Okay? You have to protect me.

Okay.

Okay. I'm gonna hit a random person in the face with a volleyball.

Okay. Jesus, dude, won't do the cancer thing.

Okay. Just the littlest bit snug, aren't they?

Okay. This is Taiwan Tammy.

Okay. What's next?

Okay. Yeah. All right

Okay. You got some glue on your face, Dee. You might want to wash it off.

Okey dokey dokey do. Uh oh! He's gone.

Okey dokey.

Old and weak, he had an accident, that's why

Old shit, I'm thinking we take out this wall. You know what I mean?

On a steel horse I ride

On a Wednesday, Philadelphia, PA.

On the Extreme Home Makeover account.

On the floor of a bus...

On the floor of a filthy bus.

On the line, behind the line, who cares?!

On this thing.

One for you and one for me. So what did I do?

One of the videocassettes for multiple views...

One pumpkin.

One, two, three.

One, two, three.

One, two, three...

One, two...

One, two...

One...

One... two... three!

Only a lot more came out than he expected.

Only the names have changed

Onto a metal bar and lift that metal over and over like a metal jerk.

Ooh, actually why don't you muscle you way back by the van,

Oprah made him look like a total dick.

Or a cop to shoot a guy or...

Or did you?

Or fellatio, or at the very least, a hand job.

Or how about we all go in the back and have great sex?

Or I could strap on a wig and I could do the song myself.

Or I'm going to go and tell Frank and Dennis that you faked your own deaths

Or literate. She added words to it.

Or some kind of communist dictatorship? This is insane,

Or some other kind of sandy poison or something.

Or you can be a burned up witch outside.

Orgy? Seriously?

Orgy...

Otherwise he's never gonna get it.

Our bad. Uh, just tell me.

Our health insurance, which means all of this was for nothing.

Our intentions towards the queen, huh?

Our lives were horrible.

Our problem is that we don't stick to that basic format,

Our renovations are gonna be pretty extreme, right?

Our visas came through, yes?

Over and out.

Over there and get a nice backdraft?

Over us, and then that way you can't see the penetration.

Paddy's Pub, telling you to come on down.

Painless.

Pass.

Pass.

PatheticGirl?

Patrick's Pub! Yes, of course, of course.

Patriots meeting in our bar, speaking of revolution and freedom.

Pawnshops are like international waters.

Paying? This is a hospital.

People break into cars all the time.

People come in, and they just trade stuff, you know what I mean?

People don't read newspapers anymore.

People eat monkey, Dee.

People getting injured or seriously hurt... That's funny!

People something that gas stations just can't offer.

Pepe Silvia... This name keeps coming up over and over again

Perfect, and then I'll get started on my taco bed.

Perhaps my impatience has gotten the best of me, but if you will have me,

Perhaps you'd like to try the Big and Tall store down the street?

Permit me to hide out here till British reinforcements arrive

Personal memoirs are huge right now.

Physical damage, that's what's gonna irritate people.

Pick a stick, any stick you like.

Pick this up and throw it through this window.

Pick... throw.

Pigeons in the bar.

Ping!

Plan B, bitch!

Played an extremely important part in history.

Please come over here, the family.

Please do not try to contact me ever.

Please get out of my lab.

Please head for the back door.

Please leave a message after the beep. Peace.

Please let me out. I have to get home. I have a cat.

Please let me out. I have to get home. I have a cat.

Please say yes and do not bone me, please.

Please, everybody. Let's gather down front.

Please, let me do the talking. Please, let me...

Please, the Cosmos.

Please. No. Oh, no.

Plus I have swallowed a good deal of it. It's just a damn waste.

Plus, I've been envisioning someone else paying

Plus, it's easy. We just get you into a room with him,

Plus, it's very good for my skins. But that's not the point right now.

Pop a squat, bro, 'cause we're going to watch a sweet ass flick

Popper... put it to my nose.

Possibly even earlier.

Possibly have seen something this awesome coming?

Pow!

Prepare to be burned alive.

Pretty sure.

Probably protecting me. I spent a lot of money today.

Probably. Where else they going to sleep?

Proceed.

Proof? He told me he was gonna bang her, man.

Protect me, and I shall make sure that all of you

Psychological damage up to here.

Pussy!

Pussy.

Put it with the other ones.

Put on another pot of coffee.

Putting together a girl night out.

Putting your balls in each other's mouths.

Quiet at the hearing!

Quiet! Quiet!

Quiet! Sit down. Sit down!

Raccoon meat is lousy with parasites.

Raccoon meat!

Read some more.

Ready?

Ready?

Real quickly, okay? Just a couple of things.

Really bad.

Really is that what...?

Really lets your ass breathe.

Really, Charlie, will I marry you?

Really?

Really?

Really?

Really? Could it be this guy?

Really? Was that not a good one? Well, so what if it's more like, like...

Really? What do you want?

Really?!

Really?!

Relax, I drove him around in a circle for a while, okay, so

Relax.

Respect, inner beauty.

Revolution! That's great! I'm completely on top of that!

Revolutionaries from all over the country had come together to gather

Rex, are you kidding me? Seriously, are you just gonna step right in it?

Rex, that is a sexy jaguar.

Rex? Rex?

Right between the sorrowful little eyes.

Right for the throw.

Right over here, slick. Don't want to have hair down there.

Right there.

Right through here.

Right, right, right. Look, I respect the act.

Right, right. So like what is the best way you can help other people?

Right, so I actually do have to run home by myself

Right, so we're having them do their own visions board, so here

Right, well, some might find that method effective,

Right! That makes sense.

Right?

Right.

Right. Do we have to do the stigmatas?

Right. Okay. Why don't you come to bed, bro.

Right. What is their name? The Juarez family I think.

Ring it up

Rochelle, Rochelle, Rochelle. Thank you for coming in.

Rochelle, you taught me about love...

Rock stars do the cancer kid thing all the time.

Round housed him.

Rule of the land: bigger. It's my thing now.

Sake Bomb?

Saturday Night Live is gonna, I think they're gonna really love this.

Say, I will have dinner with you and thank you for this, and thank you.

Saying, "I'm good enough because I beat everyone else,

Scale back our energy costs when you're filling this generator with gasoline?

Scooby Doo did it.

Screw up.

Sears does this, okay? Sears gives people stuff.

Sears doesn't come in and start...

Sears doesn't get anything out of it.

See how I got all these sweet pics of Ty Pennington from Extreme Home Makeover?

See how they're almost tierd? They're like pretty much back to perfect.

See this? This one you, this one Rob Thomas.

See you at the next one.

See, 'cause we...

See, I envisioned the courts recognizing how ridiculous it was

See, it limits restriction of leg movement.

See, there's my boy. He's making plans again.

Seriously, bro, if you piss on the couch again, you're gonna buy us a...

Seriously, do not move.

Serve a very specific purpose, all right?

Sex and the City.

Sexiest people in Philadelphia.

Sharing it. It's a rule now~.

She also transcribed my work into a format you might consider a little bit more legible.

She cursed the gun.

She gets to, like, be in a taco every day.

She just watched that stupid Sex and the City movie.

She just won't stop talking about it.

She on runway and do a drag queen in nails.

She put a curse on the gun!

She said the 1997 Dodge Neon thing and I totally lost her.

She told me in complete confidence that a bunch of old dudes down there

She was a bag... I hate her

She'll take a Cosmo and she'll just hold it in her hand.

She's an investor now. She'll thank us later.

She's bombing like crazy.

She's going to be playing the piano instead of me tonight.

She's here! She's here! She's here! She's here!

She's mourning you

She's the sassy one who always plays by her own rules.

Shine it on his dick. Shine it on his dick.

Shit, bro! What are you doing, dude?!

Shit, Dennis, I think maybe I switched these up.

Shit, that's awesome. All right, good.

Shit!

Shit! Bro, we just broke the liberty bell.

Shit! Where am I?

Shit.

Shit.

Shit. Jan?

Shocker.

Should've gone to a gas station, dude,

Shouldn't you guys have gotten these barrels out of the

Shut up and give me my book back, please.

Shut up, dude, don't ruin this for me.

Shut up, dude.

Shut up!

Shut up! Charlie, shut up!

Shut up! Man, I'll poke your eye out!

Shut up! Shut up!

Shut up! Shut your big mouth right now!

Sick freak

Since always. I'm a great hunter.

Since when do you, bro?

Sing a song. Shut up!

Sir, do you have anything that might get my buddy's head straight?

Sir, excuse me, sir.

Sir, we all have cats that we'd like to be playing with right now, okay?

Sir? Sir, I just... I need to pull the cord to get off the bus.

Sir... Goddamn

Sit down... Get your hands off the microphone.

Sit tight, sir.

Slow down a second, Dennis.

Smashing it?

Snap a couple of photos, we got proof, bing bang boom, we're done.

So are we good here now? What's the deal?

So Artemis, where'd you get that great top?

So back up on your podium you go.

So both of you are...

So did the neighborhood rob us?

So don't be making me sic my associate on you here, all right?

So forget it. It probably won't even burn anyway.

So he called Mac, who jumped at the chance to see

So help me God, I'll blow this place to kingdom come.

So here's how this is going to go down.

So here's the deal.

So I brought you some scotch

So I don't go to a therapist. I just go to bars

So I figured let's get a generator and, you know, run the bar on it.

So I go up to Pepe's office, and what do I find out? What do I find out?!

So I got a new system. Me... both the brains and the looks.

So I just want to say, we love what you're doing over here.

So I think we're just gonna scrap the whole book ordeal.

So I'm gonna do something a little unorthodox here.

So I'm just gonna break it down. I introduce myself right. That was wrong.

So I'm on Spring Garden Street, and this big car full of gangbangers...

So I'm trying to smoke.

So if I'm, like, there while you guys are talking and I'm just, like, like...

So if you want to marry, man,

So it was Cricket.

So just calm down, help me throw some stuff into the stinking bindle.

So just take a deep breath of this.

So let me tell you something, Dee; Let me break down a scenario for you.

So let's... you know what, let's try and get this down.

So look, if you really want to get back at Frank and Dennis,

So many, many nameless victims.

So people don't know who we are, you know.

So that I could learn how to forgive you.

So that's what you were smashing.

So try this.

So wait. If you already put the billboard up,

So we got tarred and feathered for being Sodomites!

So we got to babysit a cat now?

So we just find a couple of side jobs, right?

So we leave a couple of teeth, bing, bam, boom.

So we should, we should get started.

So we threw the first piece of poop out 'cause big deal, whatever.

So we're not gonna waste your time today.

So what are you going to do next?

So what the hell, I can smoke.

So what you're saying is that by breaking from that format,

So whatever we bribe him with, it's got to be worth a lot of money.

So when you say eliminate, you mean you were going to kill me?

So you can either be a slave witch in the bar,

So you know that video camera I keep in my bedroom?

So you learned another lesson: Don't do too much glue or your night sucks.

So you lied to us, Dennis?

So you tell me, little Miss All That, what do you want to do...

So you were planning on killing me?

So you're claiming that your bar had a direct role

So you're good with the pictures then?

So you're sure we'll have enough money for this and the wedding dress, right?

So youse a big man, right?

So, are we in an historical landmark, now?

So, as the brains of this organization,

So, as you can see,

So, can you focus?

So, check it out. Man, I got a new plan.

So, do you not have a button for that?

So, end of story, you know. Let's just move on.

So, how's the old vision board coming? You getting everything you want?

So, I decide,

So, I guess the only thing that's left is to figure out what to do with Mr. Cricket.

So, I say to myself, I got to find this guy.

So, I'm gonna record everything you do.

So, Mr. Reynolds, you're interested in buying our arena football team?

So, okay, I got yellow sheets... that's cheese.

So, uh... what's the buzz, huh? What are we all talking about, huh?

So, what I did is I planted that walkie talkie that Mac gave me in my bedroom.

So, why not make for her a taco bed?

So, will you just let me handle it?

So, you guys, what's the deal with those hands free headsets

So, you guys, you ever eat cheese?

So, you're gonna eat that kid.

So...

So... you're...

Sodomites in frilly lace.

Sodomizing the king whilst the queen is forced to witness.

Some of them are really pretty girls

Some other musical stuff.

Somebody, little rotten maybe.

Someone who sweats as much as you should not work with food.

Something about drinking.

Something happened. None of your business.

Something I was hoping I would never have to do...

Something really weird is happening to me. I'll tell you what's going on.

Something stinks here, bro, and it is not just Mac's dirty socks.

Somewhere that's all Johnson's mail.

Son of a bitch!

Song or no song?

Song?

Song.

Sorry about her, I...

Sorry about that, Terry. Anyway, this cat people...

Sorry about your car, Dee.

Sorry to bug you here.

Sorry. I can't handle the stress you're giving me right now.

Speaker, yeah, hold on.

Spin class.

Spit it! Spit it out!

Spread my seed. Haven't you ever seen The Bachelor?

Stage freeze.

Start popping them off.

Stay back, man. No, matter of fact, unleash the fury. Get his shoe!

Stewart's up on his second shot on the fairway, hole 15.

Stop arguing. Are you going to help us out? We got no time here.

Stop hounding me.

Stop laughing at me.

Stop laughing, dude. This is serious shit!

Stop now. You can't do this.

Stop talking.

Stop the bus!

Stop, stop, stop. All right, not bad.

Stupid goddamn sleeveless t shirts

Suddenly, you sense him.

Suing me? What are you gonna sue me for?

Supposing the other guy is picturing a girl, also.

Sure you did. I'm sure you did. All right, that's my man.

Sure? That's a lot of butts.

Surprise, bitches!

Surrender, maybe?

Symbol stuff if we're just gonna make it look terrible?

Synchro : Criztian and Sososeries.

Synchro : Criztian Guest : Sososeries.

Synchro : Criztian.

Synchro : Flolo.

Synchro : Flolo.

Synchro and corrections : Sososeries

Synchro: Criztian & Sososeries.

T.C.O.B.

Tag, you're it? And a knife? What the hell is this, man?

Tag! You're it!

Take a look at Rex here.

Take a look at this.

Take a wide stance.

Take the bags off.

Take the tool belt off for a second.

Take the tool belt off for a second.

Take the widest stance that you possibly can and let me see what that looks like.

Take this fertilizer, toss it in the closet.

Take your hands off the mic!

Take your shirt off.

Tall order for such a short man.

Taut, nubile, proud

Tell them, um, to relax first off 'cause they look a little tense.

Ten million years ago? It's just, he looks terrible!

Terry? What number did he want?

Thank you for our human meat.

Thank you, Artemis. Thank you very much.

Thank you, Charlie. I appreciate that. 'Cause I was uncomfortable.

Thank you, I feel rushed. Look, here's the plan.

Thank you!

Thank you.

Thank you. Dennis, what are you doing?

Thank you. Uh, Dennis, could you take a five?

Thanks a lot.

Thanks so much for coming, both of you.

Thanks, I'm just gonna...

Thanks.

That actually seems pretty sensible, Dennis.

That and your hips, but I got to tell you, the shorts aren't helping.

That being said, let's take a few precautions here, okay?

That broke bastard's bed is soft as shit.

That car wreck, it scrambled your circuits, all right?

That Charlie had been pooping the bed all along.

That deserves to be worshipped.

That did not sound like Corman.

That doesn't disqualify me, does it?

That everybody's wearing in their ears, right?

That guy was a turd. I mean, come on.

That he wants retired and hung up in the bar.

That hit you right in the face, didn't it?

That I have the same genes as her.

That I'm very much looking forward to driving

That I've known you that you are both slanderous perverts

That is a body that just won't quit.

That is a really, really nice setup.

That is a stallion

That is an automobile.

That is attached to the pyrotechnics all over my jacket and pants.

That is bullshit!

That is correct.

That is disgusting.

That is for business expenses, Frank.

That is not good. This is not a comedy, okay?

That is ridiculous, Dennis, they left us a list of demands.

That is the attitude we were waiting for the whole time.

That is the best way for him to build up his credit.

That is the greatest party I've ever seen. These sons of bitches!

That is what happened.

That is why I decided to not press charges

That kind of rubbed me the wrong way, dude.

That looks better. We're not dangling anything. That's very white trash.

That means you got a small pecker.

That my son of a bitch, asshole mother didn't leave me anything

That never happened!

That show is about how awesome Sears is!

That show is just a bunch of manipulation to get people to cry,

That sounds fine to me. I will do that.

That sounds good.

That sounds good.

That sounds great, but this has been declined.

That sounds like a pretty good plan.

That story was true... the hot dog, the oatmeal, everything.

That the Crown knows that we're on their side.

That the prisoner told you that if you didn't, and I quote,

That they'd build bigger houses!

That thing's badass, man. It's like a flamethrower.

That this is the point in the conversation where I would volunteer

That was a joke

That was amazing. Oh, dude, I'm doing one of those, baby.

That was an endurance contest, which I won, by the way...

That was human meat, I know it.

That was my spy coins. That's my money anyway.

That was my... that was my wild card face, all right...

That wasn't a comedian, that was some dude in green pants.

That wasn't five minutes.

That wasn't what he was going to say.

That wasn't your money.

That way we'll have insurance, and when disaster inevitably occurs, we'll be covered.

That way, I can get discovered by, like, a casting director or

That we start working on a muscle that we've been

That we're here to offer your community a much needed service...

That we're on their side is to become 100% British.

That what we have is much stronger than that.

That whiny voice anywhere.

That will be $3,212.11.

That will remind the Juarez family of their old country.

That will save the company millions, and they'll be forced to promote me.

That window all night long, and you have no idea how loud 50 cats can be.

That would be me.

That would compliment what you have just eaten.

That would have fallen right out in the middle of the bed.

That you said you were going to **** my butt until the room stinks,

That young Indian was fast with the tomahawk!

That, sir, is becauseyou purchased blue jean shorts

That, which you have just eaten, that,

That... I can go lower.

That's a baby monitor, Frank.

That's a dumb place to hide it.

That's a fact, Dee. That's what it is.

That's a gift for you, bumblebee.

That's a good idea.

That's a good idea.

That's a good idea. You know what I'm concerned about?

That's a good idea. You know what, Charlie?

That's a good point. Okay, I like that. Let's slap my picture up there.

That's a government salary right there, yeah.

That's a horribly unattractive thing to announce to everybody.

That's a lot of pills, dude.

That's a really messed up thing to do.

That's actually really smart. Mac, grab us some beers.

That's an objection, Your Honor.

That's another...

That's at least the smart thing to do.

That's completely crazy, man.

That's cool. Just make sure you go to the bathroom, okay,

That's crazy.

That's enough.

That's exactly right, man, and see, your shorts.

That's exactly right, yeah. You look good, you feel good.

That's funny?

That's gonna be much better for me, trust me.

That's gonna get a million hits. So guess what, pal.

That's good stuff, right? Yeah.

That's good, yeah.

That's good.

That's good.

That's good.

That's good.

That's great news.

That's how you become a cannibal, Dee.

That's interesting. I haven't heard that yet.

That's it, but that's pretty wide, right?

That's it?

That's it.

That's it.

That's it.

That's it. I'm pulling the bus over.

That's it. You can go home.

That's like the whole point.

That's my best friend right there.

That's nature! That's what happens, people die from the hunger.

That's not bad... but check this out.

That's not my cat.

That's not the first time you've described your life in the way of John Rambo's like.

That's not the point, Deandra... the point is

That's not the rehab center. That's the rehab center.

That's okay, Frankie. I don't need to go potty.

That's okay. I know you're not finished.

That's one of the cooler things you could ever do.

That's probably why Ty Pennington has such a sweet life.

That's probably your body flushing out all the toxins.

That's Rambo, dude.

That's really unbelievably cool.

That's right, I'm the boss.

That's right, man. Where's this guy been?

That's right.

That's right.

That's right. 10 point buck.

That's Rob Thomas from Matchbox 20.

That's sad.

That's simple. That doesn't require any...

That's something that I feel like I could wrap my head around.

That's sort of our thing that we do.

That's terrible.

That's the complete opposite of respecting my opinion.

That's the end of it, right? That could be the end of the story?

That's the exact type of atmosphere I've been trying to cultivate.

That's the first sensible thing you've said all day, Frank.

That's the guy, walking there! Walking there!

That's the important thing here. We need to focus on ourselves...

That's the natural order.

That's the only piece of evidence that we have.

That's the only way to hide and have it not be noticeable in my apartment!

That's the only way.

That's the way girls are. We're catty.

That's the way I do it. I hire two guys and let them sweat it out.

That's the way to do it

That's their last will and testament. That is not demands.

That's what I thought. That's what I thought, okay?

That's what I'm trying to tell you.

That's what it is. We need to fuel up.

That's what they do on Extreme Makeover.

That's what you're bringing to the table? That's great.

That's why he encouraged Mac to sleep while he stayed up.

That's why he needs us.

That's why he's showing us all those videos and trying to prove to us that he's a badass.

That's why we brought it to you.

That's why when the lights went out, you unleashed some thunder of you own.

That's written down now. That's like a contract.

That's, uh, that's not Bruce, is it?

That's... Not at all! You know, what are you doing to me?

The A Team did it.

The adults are working. The adults are working.

The beer's too low for what average beer prices are.

The best way in the world to help other people.

The bitch.

The boy is gone.

The Brains, I'm going to supervise 'cause there is

The camera was too low. We got to...

The car will explode, and our problems will be solved.

The car's not even on fire.

The clothes off pose off.

The community has got a lot to do with it, and then,

The construction crew. When do those guys get here?

The cracking of the Liberty Bell, of course.

The curly stuff and then this thing looks like a blanket.

The Dayman.

The face.

The first poop was obviously Frank.

The first step to becoming an American... get a credit card.

The flatter I become, like a starfish, you know?

The Ghostbusters would never do something like that to each other.

The guy's a liar!

The headline might be: "Most negative man in the world

The highest ranking military officer here?

The Internet is where it's at, and I'm going to be an Internet sensation.

The liberty bar.

The lonely, sad, slutty, bitchy whore.

The mail doesn't stop, bud.

The mail goes into three sections according

The mail's the most important thing in the world now.

The man does not exist, okay?

The middle important stuff, I put that back in the mail

The Million Little Pieces guy, do you?

The mind body abs connection. I would personally like to

The morgue? Hear me out.

The mystery of who pooped the bed has been solved.

The nicer I think it is, you know? It's a nice place.

The night of the incident.

The Nightman Cometh.

The nightman's bad ass, dude. He has the eyes of a cat

The only way for us to get to the bottom of this is for you

The only way that my dad is not going to kill us,

The outcast?

The owners all deserve to rot in jail,

The partition acts as a physical barrier,

The pay, sir, is getting your face 40 feet up on a billboard.

The problem I'm having with it is that I don't have anything to do.

The problem is I'm gonna have a really hard time for both cannibals and racist.

The public eats that shit.

The reason that shit hasn't been working out for us is

The same girl we've just been talking about?

The sex tape that Frank made, where is it?

The slot defeats the purpose.

The slut?

The space... that's what I loved about it.

The teeth, the envelope, the crash. I think it's enough, you know?

The three classless bores who call themselves the owners

The videotape is done.

The waitress, drunk out of her mind and furious that Dee had pushed

The whole thing's gonna be better without me anyway, Mac.

The whore.

The year was 1776.

Their place is a real shit hole.

Then how do you catch a cricket?

Then I start smashing. And I smash good.

Then I'll be the muscle. I'll muscle these pricks into buying the gas.

Then maybe he beat up the, Don Johnson you're talking about.

Then shall we escape safely together, my darling?

Then we drag them back to their apartments,

Then we'll have proof of how amazingly generous we're being today.

Then we'll probably buy some more gasoline 'cause I feel like that's a great plan.

Then we're going to kick it to pieces, smash it to bits,

Then we're going to take that van, and we're going to offer

Then why am I always hungry? And stomach pains? And nothing satisfies the hunger?

Then, he was going to, quote,

Then, I can watch it over and over again.

Then, I wait for the signal back.

Then, once the wall's all weakened from the burned up fires,

Then, she can go to town.

Then, we'll get these credit cards, we'll buy some camping equipment.

There are no words, man.

There aren't jaguars in barns.

There he goes

There he goes again.

There he is. Our little typer.

There is a slope in the ground, and I didn't...

There is no Carol in HR.

There is no Pepe Silvia.

There is no way I can picture that is a girl.

There is so much wolf hair in our apartment right now, man.

There it is.

There we go.

There we go.

There we go.

There were many turds before this one, weren't there, Frank?

There you go, Mr. Scott who drinks his coffee hot.

There you go, Mr. Scott who drinks his coffee hot.

There you go.

There's a certain situation developing between myself,

There's a good deal of blood in this stool.

There's a hole in the wall. We're just trying to figure out what it is.

There's a lot of food.

There's a reason to do the things that I... oh!

There's a way to make you guys both happy, all right?

There's also a fire extinguisher, too.

There's also a will enclosed and you totally have to do all of that

There's certain things that you just can't have control of, sir.

There's no billboard?

There's no Pepe Silvia.

There's no real...

There's no way you can be up on that billboard.

There's not a single, goddamn desk in that office

There's nothing confusing about it, Frank. It's very...

There's nowhere to hide in here!

There's other ways to figure this out.

There's probably going to be chicks over here, like, all the time.

There's some sort of weird chemical reaction that happens

There's some things that I need from you.

There's too many cameras.

There's, like, a hard surface past the thin surface.

These are dead bodies.

These are gorgeous women with heaving breasts.

These are my dreams. They mean something to me.

These are my... these are my memoirs. Charlie, you found my book!

These are the gas prices this year.

These heels are almost impossible to walk in.

These idiots found two poopies in a bed?

These people are the most powerful, influential,

These things are covered in piss.

They already don't know who we are.

They are about putting yourself on display to the world and

They blew up my car!

They burn it up.

They can learn about how their ancestors used to be savages

They drew first blood, not you.

They drew first blood!

They go down like a ton of bricks, okay?

They let each other stay at each other's apartments,

They look freaky as shit.

They sell everything here.

They usually just give me a bunch of antibiotics,

They wake up thinking it was all a dream.

They what?

They'd have to do it in front of us so that there's no foul play.

They'll find the bug I'm going to plant.

They'll keep fine.

They'll think we did it at the last minute.

They'll want to buy the gas. We have ten containers of gasoline.

They're about fame.

They're all paunchy and weird and old.

They're eating type of doom. Have you ever see that?

They're gonna catch on to you.

They're holding you back, man.

They're itchy.

They're just coming right out. They, like, slip right out.

They're just hanging out with a bunch of half naked ladies,

They're like crying and whing and...

They're like planets.

They're not bullshit. What are you saying?

They're not business expenses.

They're not dead, they're definitely doing something stupid,

They're onto me, dude.

They're there to heighten the sense of surprise and excitement

Think about what I would like to do.

Think you Jesus? You think you Jesus?

This appears to be a piece of a credit card.

This appears to be a rendering of... the two of you

This bar is hemorrhaging money.

This beak is interfering with my nosh.

This company is being bled like a stuck pig, Mac,

This declaration is gonna start an all out war.

This dude broke in here, running around, talking about memoires and Sinbad.

This fop thing is going to totally blow our cover.

This gentleman here.

This gonna stop! Take his book, Rob.

This guy's in Orlando for the week?

This has totally changed my mind toward jaguars.

This is 1776.

This is a buffet.

This is a legitimate operation, okay?

This is a lot to handle.

This is a pretty big part of that mile, don't you think?

This is a private... I'm gonna have to get security.

This is about truth, okay?

This is all like a bad frame and stuff.

This is an interesting piece.

This is bad.

This is bullshit, dude.

This is Corman's neighbor Mehar.

This is exciting.

This is getting us nowhere.

This is Gladys.

This is going to be our golden ticket, man.

This is going to require a lot of attention.

This is gonna be awesome, dude.

This is gonna be your home for the next couple of days.

This is gonna work.

This is great and all, but I was really hoping for more of like a,

This is great. That frees up the lead boy role and the dayman role.

This is how it will go down.

This is it.

This is Johnson.

This is like gold.

This is Mac. I'm the new guy.

This is Mac. You got the wrong number.

This is my day, and this is where I come at the end of the day

This is my stop. You're in my way.

This is not about judgments.

This is not about lifestyle.

This is really bad. You guys, this is bad.

This is really going to get us somewhere.

This is really not good, dude. Now we don't have any beans

This is really unsafe, dude. Do not blow that fireball...

This is ridiculous.

This is sick, but hear me out.

This is sort of a health insurance situation for us...

This is terrible!

This is the opposite of where we're supposed to be.

This is the perfect opportunity.

This is the perfect...

This is the piece I was telling you about.

This is the place.

This is the point where I normally burn you alive, but

This is the real deal. I got a whole taco bed.

This is the vibing I'm talking about.

This is un American. You don't pay for health insurance. That's crazy.

This is very exciting.

This is what gets hits on YouTube.

This is what I do. I just talk into the camera about my life.

This is what we'll do. We'll dial it back.

This is what we're gonna do next. Grab me that propane torch.

This is what we're gonna do. You guys

This is... Unlock the bottom.

This isn't about condoms.

This isn't gonna work. We got to do it again.

This isn't just for fun.

This office is a goddamn ghost town.

This one is.

This one? It's a really great one.

This ought to show the son of a bitch.

This revolution is going to make us a fortune!

This sex party thing, Frank.

This shamrock... will be awarded to the winner as

This sounds hot.

This was a great musical. You did a great job.

This was just the first time you got caught, wasn't it?

This way.

This whole situation really works.

This would be better with beans though.

This, this is really all good shit.

Those aren't real problems, Charlie.

Those dick wads threw me off my own work site.

Those guys are going to get us in so much trouble.

Those guys are sharp as nails up there.

Those wooden teeth are killing me. That lisp is stupid.

Those words don't make any s sense.

Though having to spend every day with each other

Three best friends.

Three men would be off its axis and slope to the center.

Three, two, one...

Through the park in the middle of the night.

Thunder of the...

Thus ensuring anonymity throughout the spontaneous act of copulation,

Thus, the fray.

Time out. Did you see where I pissed in the fountain?

Time out. Time out. Time out.

Time to go.

Tiny boy, little boy, Baby boy, I need you

Tiny boy, little boy, Baby boy, I need you

Tiny boy, little boy, baby boy, I need you.

Tiny boy, little boy, I want to make love to you.

Tiny boy, little boy, I want to touch you.

Tiny boy, little boy, Want to make love to you, boy

Tiny little simple poop test!

Tiny part of what I'm trying to talk about here.

To about 60, 70 miles an hour.

To bang me at Charlie and Frank's apartment.

To bang you, it's going to be on my own terms, okay?

To be dranken by everyone in bar.

To be my sunshine

To be the girl on the billboard, and then you guys

To compete in Paddy's first Next Top Billboard Model contest.

To deal with people like you.

To do an overnight observation.

To feel like ground meat while she's sleeping.

To get back at their kids.

To go from no debt to good old fashioned American debt?

To hide it from Charlie.

To how important I think the thing looks, okay?

To lift the curses from our guns.

To lower myself to this, so if you could just cut me some slack, because...

To pay the property taxes on my new mansion.

To say good bye

To shove it into Charlie's face for smashing my tape.

To show how badass I am.

To showcase some skills, and, like, just put on a clinic.

To take you in the back and bang you?

To teach me a lesson or...?

To tear that poop apart and tell us what's inside of it.

To test it, see why the rats weren't eating it.

To wish for a better life. Money that you apparently steal

To yesterday...

To you live with Philadelphia's next hot model Dennis Reynolds.

To your best friend.

Today's theme is barnyard.

Together.

Told you nobody just writes a musical for no reason.

Tonto... Come here.

Took him out. My form is pretty perfect, so.

Took it. Bam. Mine.

Totally anonymous.

Totally, no wonder! It reeks in here!

Troll toll

Troll toll!

Troll toll!

Try on me.

Try that one.

Try that one.

Try walking a mile in my shoes once in a while and then talk to me.

Try your old buddy Charlie on for size.

Turtle heading!

Two dead, two dead guys.

Two for one drink specials on Thursdays."

Two gorgeous girls up there, giant cans , me in the middle with my thumbs up.

Two poops in two nights?

Two...

Uh, "Business coordinator for several year"... I don't know who this is.

Uh, "Work experience: Paddy's Pub management"?

Uh, Cheech over here bought himself a bong.

Uh, hi. Um, can I help you?

Uh, I don't drink scotch.

Uh, I'll tell you why. I feel a little low energy.

Uh, I'm starting to have second thoughts about

Uh, let's back up and talk about what this is.

Uh, let's see... was it... did Dee write a musical and come to Charlie with it?

Uh, libel, slander. There's two of the big dogs right there.

Uh, may I help you gentlemen with something?

Uh, my hammer again.

Uh, no, I believe that is what taxes are for.

Uh, not... pretty much everything.

Uh, one monkey also then, please.

Uh, pardon me, pardon me, good sirs.

Uh, well, I just want the song, man.

Uh, what says you we maketh some trade, hmm?

Uh, yeah, don't let the hammer throw you, Corman.

Uh, yeah, I gotta say I'm a little skeptical

Uh, yeah, we know that, guy.

Uh, yeah.

Uh, yeah. Yeah, I was looking for two, actually. Female.

Uh, you want to fire a couple questions my way?

Uh.. I'll spend a lot less time asking questions, more time running.

Uh.. yeah.

Uh... lady? Oh, the... the witch!

Uh... yeah.

Uh... yes.

Um, also, do you want me to bring you some lipstick with that?

Um, excuse me, this is a good plan, okay?

Um, let me try and rember something.

Umm, no, I don't like it.

Unbelievable

Unbelievable. It's bolted to the wall.

Until he's no longer consisting of life pulse.

Until Mac and I take care of a little business.

Until Mel Gibson and the Catholics came in and saved everybody.

Until you forced me to do something drastic...

Up to you! Flagon of ale now?

Used to do that kind of fun stuff?

Very good with women.

Wait a minute, so this happened two nights in a row?

Wait a minute. Wait, wait. Hold on a second.

Wait a second.

Wait a second. That's it! I got it!

Wait a second. Where did she get my note?

Wait for it...

Wait till you get a load of their ancestors.

Wait till you see, dude.

Wait, can I see the stance one more time?

Wait, he's all tied up. How did you...?

Wait, I don't judge you guys. It's cool.

Wait, I think I know what the problem is

Wait, wait, wait, whoa, Charlie, Charlie, Charlie.

Wait, wait, why would you do that?

Wait, why would we want to be free from the British?

Wait, you shot a dear?

Wait. Brakes don't... Brakes don't work.

Wait. That just kind of came out on its own.

Wait. Where you going, dude?

Wait...

Wake up, donkeys.

Wake up, my brown friend. It's time to change your life.

Wake up!

Wake up! Let's go! Time to start the day!

Wake up! Yeah, you in hell, all right!

Walk us through what happened. Nice and slow.

Want you to come.

Warden, they're lying.

Was a hotbed of revolutionary activity.

Was anyone else surprised by that?

Was human meat.

Was it a horse?

Was it venison?

Was the wedding in Philadelphia?

Watch your ass, new meat!

Watch your head.

Water? We're in a bar.

Way higher than mine.

We absolutely can leave it here.

We all complete the team!

We also included an illustration that we had hoped would illuminate

We are classy, interesting people.

We are extreme!

We are extreme.

We are going to hunt you, Cricket.

We are in dire straits here, okay? We need a change of plan.

We are pretty damn good at this. We're learning.

We are taking over your house

We aren't we hearing them?

We assume there's some kind of test you can run with some of these machine.

We backstab and talk about each other behind our backs and stalk.

We can get whatever we want, all right?

We can hear 'em from up here

We can talk to your boss because I think he would understand more better?

We can't do that, bro. We gotta get him out of the car.

We can't even get anything past the surface of this thing.

We can't just leave it here.

We cannot be telling people that we have bleached assholes.

We could do something else. Let's do something else.

We could just sit down and, like, watch... I bought...

We could use a fresh set of eyes on this if you don't mind.

We definitely need to get to about this.

We didn't have anything to do with it.

We don't carry shoes that large.

We don't dwell on the past.

We don't have any beer, dude. We're shit out of luck, bro.

We don't need you people. Everybody else.

We don't want that to happen.

We don't want to call the cops.

We get a hefty loan to buy a bunch of gasoline.

We go to a bank, we talk to a loan officer.

We good, are we on?

We got a dick hole in the bar.

We got her credit cards in here.

We got monkey.

We got ourselves a pumpkin.

We got to do it in some way that's convincing, all right.

We got to make some money in the short term.

We got, we're one for two.

We gotta figure out how to get you into rehab

We gotta find a guy. We gotta kill that guy, and we gotta eat it.

We gotta get that zoning people out here.

We have been here for hours and hours.

We have plenty of money.

We have to make our own declaration.

We have to make sure we are not on the losing side.

We have to start.

We haven't brought the neighborhood in yet.

We jump out to safety, the car explodes in a hot ball of fury

We just gotta do this. Let's stick together.

We just need to adjust our business model to meet the needs

We just need to adjust our business model to meet the needs of a changing market place. That's all. That's money talk. Let's talk money.

We just want to know who it came from.

We lead a very rock and roll lifestyle.

We make them true so that people can't prove that they didn't happen!

We may as well embrace the amnesia angle, because we have

We may have pushed him to far, Dennis. What do you think he's gonna do?

We met the other day...

We more than make up for in street smarts.

We need a project for him, dude.

We need like a flat surface.

We need this guy to build up copious amounts of debt.

We need to cover our tracks. Why don't we shoot over to Corman's place

We need to dress the part.

We need to get to him first.

We need to leave dental records behind, right?

We need to set a trap.

We need to start acting with class.

We put it on their front doorstep.

We put them in their beds, you know?

We set their clocks back. We get yesterday's newspaper.

We should've got beans, dude.

We sort of work as a team. I'll tell you what.

We take that gasoline, we store it in the basement, we wait a few months.

We told you to not come back here, freak!

We trying to go to sleep. He keep throwing shoes at us.

We wait 12 months, we sell the gasoline and make a shitload of profit.

We want tourists to be able to come by Paddy's Pub

We want you to examine our poopie.

We were friends...

We were supposed to start 20 minutes ago

We write on the billboard, in nice big letters, "We have

We'll be fine without the beans, all right,

We'll both do it. That way it's equally weird for both of us.

We'll dress you up in his clothes,

We'll get away with it!

We'll get fueled up, we'll get some sick new outfits,

We'll get some beer there, at least we'll have that.

We'll give you this. We brought this for you.

We'll go up to the roof, and we'll lay low.

We'll have to get some gasoline.

We'll just use a different channel than Charlie and I use.

We're actually limiting our ability to be as successful as those organizations.

We're actually losing money driving back and forth from that

We're alive, and it's blowing your minds right now

We're doing our very best.

We're filling it in.

We're getting plowed in the ass by the oil companies and the gas

We're going to a French restaurant... Le Bistro.

We're going to be heroes among the community and I'm going to

We're going to bury you.

We're going to look like assholes...

We're going to need, like, a towel or a tablecloth or something, but...

We're going to need, like, a towel or a tablecloth or something, but...

We're going to put the frame on him.

We're going to steal Frank's **** van because driving around

We're going to tar and feather the shit out of her when she gets back.

We're going to turn the tables here.

We're gonna do some good deeds.

We're gonna have to burn the car.

We're gonna have to work up to that, though, 'cause you are crazy ugly.

We're gonna hunt Cricket.

We're gonna switch your walkie to that channel and we're gonna

We're gonna switch your walkie to that channel and we're gonna

We're gonna use it to tear down a house and then we're gonna build up a dream.

We're helping out a family in need, okay?

We're here from Paddy's Pub, and we have come down to give

We're itching like a hound to give you a something you want.

We're just gonna go ahead and put all this

We're not buying the wedding dress.

We're not gonna find something to burn the car at a pawnshop.

We're not gonna get fired.

We're not gonna give it to you for free.

We're not gonna start...

We're not traders, Charlie. We're thieves.

We're not white trash.

We're not?

We're onto the cancer thing now,

We're performing an extreme home makeover.

We're racist if we don't eat this guy?

We're slashing prices so low,

We're surrounded by idiots.

We're two friends of one of the dead people that you have in there.

We've already had to do it, like, a million times.

We've decided to surround you with all things American.

We've got to burn that body.

We've lost our jobs?!

We've suffered too many casualties.

Weird.

Weirdo. What?

Welcome to makeover headquarters, Juarez family!

Well played!

Well, actually, Ms. Reynolds, first we need to discuss

Well, all right, fine. Then compromise.

Well, all right, man, boy, it's a metaphor.

Well, all right.

Well, are you sure about that?

Well, at least it was short and dry this time.

Well, because, you know, electricity's so expensive, man.

Well, calm down, 'cause here's one thing that's not gonna happen.

Well, Charlie, you're the one that used all the tape.

Well, check this out.

Well, come on. Let's go.

Well, damn it, waitress, that is not what I wanted.

Well, Dee, I think the real question is,

Well, do you guys think that the blindfolds

Well, don't be rude. We just came to have a talk, so...

Well, don't give us judgments.

Well, excuse me, Mr. Man.

Well, fine, I'll dip my nuts in ink or something and then put it in his mouth, that make you happy?

Well, for starters, I was minding my own business.

Well, gentlemen, I've never seen two people share a resume before.

Well, get out.

Well, get over it, dude. You gotta walk in 'em, okay?

Well, he is wearing a lot of blush on those cheekbones,

Well, hold on a second. I feel very weird.

Well, how am I supposed to use it now? 'Cause you... jerk

Well, how does that work?

Well, how the hell are we going to do that?

Well, I already got a bald cap guy and everything.

Well, I am not white trash. I am a kind and a generous

Well, I can see that it's a buffet, but why is there a buffet

Well, I decided what I'm going to do is I'm

Well, I definitely see how something could have slipped out of there.

Well, I didn't ever sign anything, so...

Well, I feel like you got to at least talk with a Southern accent, man.

Well, I guess this is probably, this is probably gonna be it

Well, I hadn't thought that far... we would have to build a whole house.

Well, I like to think I've been this handsome since birth,

Well, I mean there's... 24 beers there, if I'm counting right.

Well, I mean, if anything, maybe we tie some knives to our fingers

Well, I mean, you banged the waitress.

Well, I think one of us is gonna have to help his...

Well, I think that we're... we're in good shape then.

Well, I wanna make progress. So, I'm sticking with the tea bagging.

Well, I was comfortable with letting him piss in his pants.

Well, I... I do seem to remember you calling a guy a faggot.

Well, I'll tell you why I come to the fountain, Charlie.

Well, I'll tell you, Mr. Fancy Pants Writer Man.

Well, I'm already on a nitric oxide energy stack,

Well, I'm glad you enjoyed yourselves.

Well, I'm gonna... I'm gonna watch you do it.

Well, I'm in a movie, and this broad's about to get naked,

Well, I'm sorry, but you do not want to use that bathroom!

Well, I'm, you lost me with Washington, but the rest I agree with, so let's eat a piece of this white guy.

Well, if I may, I'd like to explain to you why I'm here.

Well, it it's a long story, but the punch line is that

Well, it's the bullshit street.

Well, it's the Historical Society, bro. They have to hang it up.

Well, it's... we're gonna kill ourselves together.

Well, maybe you shouldn't dress like a bumblebee, bitch.

Well, my heart is in this 100%

Well, no, it doesn't. That's a really good point.

Well, now hold on a second

Well, now that wasn't so hard, was it?

Well, now you're just talking crazy. You can't buy a new 1997 Dodge Neon.

Well, now you're just talking like Foghorn Leghorn!

Well, okay, if you're looking for that...

Well, okay, you take the girls, and I'll take Dennis and the dudes.

Well, right off the bat, I think there's a clear solution

Well, since he can't read, I'm guessing he was masturbating to your pictures.

Well, stabbings have been down, though.

Well, sure, I pay the troll toll, and then I **** Dennis.

Well, that is a very generous offer, but, uh,

Well, that proves our point, man. We're not the first people to try and take that thing down.

Well, that's a great vision.

Well, that's a propane torch.

Well, that's crazy.

Well, that's just simply not going to happen.

Well, that's probably way too much glue for you, Dee.

Well, the audience is going to think I'm a child molester.

Well, the lead boy becomes the dayman when he defeats the nightman.

Well, the year was 1412...

Well, then I guess Jaws IV is stupid, ok?

Well, then it works.

Well, then why don't you hop on the renovations with Charlie

Well, then why don't you just let me take the hammer

Well, then, focus, Mr. Million Dollars,

Well, then, we'll take it.

Well, then, why are they having a goddamn orgy in such a dump then?

Well, then, you should know how to hold your booze a little better.

Well, there was this a slight mix up with the apartments.

Well, there's a new martini bar opening up downtown.

Well, this is an interesting turn.

Well, this is where they drop me after you guys drop me off.

Well, this is why I didn't think you should be playing the boy, okay?

Well, this just gets weirder and weirder, man.

Well, to be perfectly honest, we sort of thought we'd

Well, trust us when we tell you that Paddy's Pub

Well, uh, thank you.

Well, we thought we'd save paper. You know, go green.

Well, we'll look at that. Great!

Well, well, well, Deandra.

Well, well, well~.

Well, what have we got here?

Well, what's done is done. That's all in the past now.

Well, whatever, it's their wishes and we have to honor them.

Well, whatever.

Well, why am I in love with a little boy?

Well, wild card over here decided to lose his mind.

Well, yesterday we wake up and there's a piece of poop right

Well, you don't have to be a dick about it.

Well, you drive a hard bargain. The job is both of yours.

Well, you got a great look, no denying that.

Well, you guys are making... Can you just get on the stage please,

Well, you ingest everything.

Well, you know, it's a, it's a broken system we got here.

Well, your wooden teeth whistly tooth thing? That was bad.

Well.

Well... I think it's crap.

Well... I went on a long walk, so...

Well... Mac's gay.

Well... Yeah, actually, I think that's a pretty good idea.

Wench, now, the ale, presenteth it.

Went out and she was startled, knocking her purse to the floor,

Were awesome.

Were in the rehab center and tried to kill me.

Were in the rehab center and tried to kill me.

Were you just pooping on the floor?

Were you planning on offing me and then offing Dennis also?

Were you planning on offing me?

What a bunch of losers!

What a dump ass.

What about Charlie's hole?

What about Connect Four?

What am I seeing?

What an idiot.

What are these guys for? We don't need Rex.

What are we gonna do? We gotta come up with a plan fast!

What are we looking at here?

What are we supposed to do here?

What are you doing in my office?

What are you doing popping out of our tent? Not cool, Dee!

What are you doing with the accent and the British...? Goddamn it!

What are you doing?

What are you doing?

What are you doing?

What are you doing? Don't take it off

What are you doing? You're lunging every time now.

What are you talking about, dude?

What are you talking about, Frank? I'm the male model.

What are you talking about, man? Your mom's sitting right there.

What are you talking about?

What are you talking about?

What are you talking about?

What are you talking about?

What are you talking about?

What are you...? What is that?

What are your talking about? What the hell am I?

What bothers me is that he looks like an old woman.

What did you bring me to?

What do I want you to say?

What do you mean, they're not real problems?

What do you mean, you turned it off?

What do you mean?

What do you mean?

What do you mean? What do you mean we're not doing it.

What do you suppose gonna happen when we do catch him?

What do you think he wants over at your apartment?

What do you think the chunky earth tones represent?

What do you think, I'm not going to die with class?

What do you want me to say?

What does a little Mexican girl love more than anything else in the world?

What else?

What else? What else?

What exactly is it you're expecting to find here?

What happened to doing this without a trace?

What happened was, we confused your bossiness with

What happened?

What have we here.

What hunt?

What I bought is a business expense.

What I bought is something that's going to save our asses.

What I did, I slopped through the radiator for minute.

What I do care about, is my 1997 Dodge Neon

What I'm having a hard time believing, though, Frank,

What if I were to position him in a way where I get behind him,

What if it's just a sexually charged embrace?

What if she wanted to bang me or you for that matter?

What if we had them produce another sample,

What if we split the pay right down the middle?

What in God's name are you talking? There's no **** scene.

What in God's name could possibly be down by the bridge?

What in the hell are you talking about?

What is it that you people want?

What is so difficult about your life?

What is that?

What is that? Is that a...

What is the matter with you? I told you to pace yourself.

What is the password?

What is the pay?

What is the point of having all this expensive new status

What is the sleeping situation in here?

What is this blowtorch for, man?

What is this place? These are not...

What is this strange feeling?

What is this?

What is this? What are you doing, like Poltergeistor something?

What is your business, sirs?

What message are you trying to send with that?

What motive could a man possibly have for pooping where he sleeps?

What my associate is trying to say is

What number were you trying to call?

What the hell am I supposed to do with a mule?

What the hell are we doing that for?

What the hell are you doin' with my bowling ball?

What the hell are you doing here, man?

What the hell are you doing here?

What the hell are you doing?

What the hell are you guys doing in here?

What the hell are you talking about?

What the hell is "Day Bow Bow"?

What the hell is she doing?

What the hell is that?

What the hell is this place? What did you bring me to?

What the hell kind of question is that?

What the hell you doing?

What the hell you talking about, my bird?

What the hell you think you doing, man?!

What the hell, bro? Is this supposed to be dirt? It smells like shit.

What the hell, man?! You stole my thing.

What the shit is this?

What to say about Mac.

What up, man? You're the one with the hot plate.

What was I supposed to do?

What we need is your magical powers

What were you even doing in that crawl space, Charlie?

What you doing?

What you got there, Ernie?

What you say?

What, am I gonna carry that burden around?

What, dude? I love Project Bad ass. I watch those tapes all the time.

What, I'm packing to make it look like Corman went on a vacation.

What, what happens if.. if I get caught?

What, what is it with you people?

What?

What?

What?

What?

What?

What?

What?

What?

What?

What?

What?

What?

What?

What?

What?

What?

What?

What?

What?

What?

What? Damn, dude!

What? He stole our furs!

What? How much of that glue did you huff?

What? Is that what your plan was?

What? Oh, Jesus.

What? This is about being an actor?

What? Ugly?

What? What are you talking about?

What? What do you mean? He's from New Jersey.

What? What is happening?

What? What's not to like?

What? Why?

What? You kidnapped Corman?

What?!

What?! Me?

What...? Do you really not wear condoms when you have sex with strangers?

What'd you put on it?

What's a gorilla mask?

What's all the racket down here?

What's confusing about $40 million? That's a shitload of money.

What's going on with your mouth?

What's going on?

What's it say?

What's Mehar doing here?

What's the difference between you and the rest of the girls?

What's the next event?

What's this have to do with me?

What's up, ladies?

What's up?

What's up? You're not happy with the plan?

What's wrong with the angle?

What's wrong, buddy? Come on, I'm trying to help you.

What's your problem?".

What's your system here, bro?

Whatever it is that you're doing, and I don't care.

Whatever it takes to get me out of this bar

Whatever it's gonna take to finally get you two banging.

Whatever, bro.

Whatever. Let's get out of here.

Whatever. She needs to see the insurance card.

Whatever. You know what?

When he wakes up tomorrow and doesn't remember a thing.

When I banged him to get back at Dennis.

When I have a real problem, and all of a sudden, it's about some weird feelings thing.

When I have to go to the bathroom, I use a toilet.

When I was a kid, I used to swim in this fountain.

When the gas prices skyrocket, we sell it, make a huge profit.

When we need a child, we'll call you.

When we slip in, you're gonna start banging me, hard!

When were you ever going to use nunchakus? Are you kidding me?

When you be in the clubs and you be dancing,

When you combine cat food, beer and glue.

When you in Sinbad house, you my bitch!

Where are you going with that?

Where are you?

Where can I have those drinks?"

Where could Frank go to get mysterious meat?

Where is he? This is ridiculous.

Where is Sinbad?

Where is this shit coming from?

Where the faces are so cold

Where the hell is he?

Where'd you get the human meat from, Frank?

Where's Barney, huh?

Where's the boy?

Where's your daughter? Where's your daughter?

Whereas I purchased blue jeans and cut 'em.

Whether we're best friends or not

Which I think is gonna counteract his attempts at positive energy.

Which is my signal to go in my pants, take out my penis

Which is really, really strange for me.

Which is that I locked the keys in the trunk just now.

Which is why it makes sense, okay, if we're going undercover!

Which leads us to the third turd.

Which muscle?

Which one do you want first? Huh, Greta or Sasha?

Which one of you idiots was eating a goddamn newspaper?

Which your teeth have just torn apart.

While Dee's back was turned.

While getting drunk in the Sahara Desert on a dune buggy.

While we get the ball rolling with Bon Jovi.

White trash waitress refuse to make it, but she proceed to

Who are these people?

Who are we doing it versus?

Who are you people?

Who are you, and why are you in my office?

Who has, who has the other one?

Who is she again?

Who is this man?

Who is this?

Who is this?

Who likes that? Who finds that sexy?

Who looks like Meryl Streep chopped down a cherry tree, like,

Who spent $5,000 for a samurai sword?

Who spent $500 for laser hair removal?

Who talks like this in the middle of a movie theater?

Who?

Who'd like to get my number after the show.

Who's joking? I'm not joking.

Who's the mark?

Whoa, cool your jets, guy. We paid for this gas.

Whoa, dude! I'm not touching his dick.

Whoa, wait, man, what...

Whoever it was seems to have been eating newspaper.

Whoever's it is should see a doctor.

Why are you always doing such weird things, Charlie?

Why are you doing this? You've been riding me.

Why are you hands in your pockets?

Why are you laughing?

Why are you still pissing in it?

Why are you still wearing that thing, dude?

Why are you wearing that thing, dude?

Why did you cut them so high?

Why did you cut them so high?

Why did you have to get on top of me?!

Why did you jump out from behind a car?

Why did you want to burn that duster anyway?

Why didn't you jump out?

Why do you care? You don't even want to live there.

Why do you come to the fountain? The fountain's my thing, Dee.

Why does he keep spitting in my mouth?

Why don't we sleep in shifts?

Why don't we up the supplements, which we know work,

Why don't you be a lamb and pass out some materials.

Why don't you do it like you did the first time? Dee, this is just weird.

Why don't you eat dinner, Dee? You got to eat dinner sometime.

Why don't you fake your own death like us?

Why don't you just give me your name?

Why don't you point that video camera at the new and improved Juarez family?

Why in God's name are you still trying to be an actor?

Why is someone trying to ruin my life?!

Why is the government not providing us with health insurance?

Why is the witch lady shooting at you anyway?

Why should I pick you over the other girls?

Why the hell would I help you, Dee? You're still plotting to kill me.

Why would he not want a "C"...?

Why would I ever burn, I mean, come on.

Why would that be shady?

Why would we need disguises, Charlie?

Why would we want to look like a starfish?

Why would you do that?

Why would you do that?

Why would you not tell me this news earlier?

Why would you want to have sex with someone you can't see?

Why wouldn't you want to have sex with someone you can't see?

Why you look so stupid?

Why you're being such a selfish jerk?

Why, of all places, are we here?

Why?

Why?

Why?

Why?

Why...?

Why's he talking like that?

Wild card.

Will you come on stage and join me.

Will you just help me out, man? This is Johnson's mail, okay?

Will you look at that? Sons of Liberty.

Will you marry me?

Will you please be quiet?!

Will you please find a way to focus?

Will you please shut up?!

Will you take a five, Dennis?! Take a five, please!

Win what?

With a giant bird.

With a roundhouse kick. Let's get serious here.

With all that gasoline is ruing the interior of my car,

With his toilet made out of gold.

With me the memories

With Mr. Von Joni himself.

With that anteater nose, you're telling mel'mugly.

With your plans for a little while. 'Cause the system you set up, it ain't working.

Would talk about how ugly you think I am, and compare me to

Would you describe these pieces more savory or succulent.

Would you like a spot of tea?

Would you like a spot of tea? You... Yeeees...!

Would you look at that.

Would you mind not breathing directly into my mouth?

Wow, that was great and very touching.

Wow, that's tough, man. That's a tough thing to see.

Wow, yeah, I guess I never really thought about that before.

Wow, you got a lot of 'em, huh?

Wow.

Wow. Okay, wow, I take back everything I just said.

Ye es.

Yeah, affirmative. I totally kicked his ass.

Yeah, all right, here's what happened, guys.

Yeah, all right, put your mask on, and don't embarrass me.

Yeah, all right! Good job! Good job!

Yeah, all right.

Yeah, America!

Yeah, and gas has gone up seven cents since this morning.

Yeah, and I'm doing both of our jobs here, so you want to help out?

Yeah, and I'm gonna impregnate Danica Patrick

Yeah, and I'm very wasted.

Yeah, baby. And then we get our Lamborghinis and our Danica Patricks and...

Yeah, baby. This hunt is gonna be so awesome, dude.

Yeah, bad intel. Bit of a miscommunication.

Yeah, because he videotapes every chick he bangs.

Yeah, because it leaves a mark all over it, and..

Yeah, bro, but that had to change your mind about who

Yeah, bro, you got a lot of people care. Not anymore.

Yeah, bud. This is what it must feel like, before you go to battle.

Yeah, but before they do, I will come up with an idea

Yeah, but the beer is for me and Mac, you know, to...

Yeah, but this whole thing's about banging, and you didn't bang me, so...

Yeah, but we don't need bolo ties and stupid hats.

Yeah, but we're gonna be the first ones to actually succeed.

Yeah, but where're we supposed to get that many pubes, man?

Yeah, but you know, if you know Latin, you know, like, three languages, so...

Yeah, but you're all over the place. You just put in a tropical shirt,

Yeah, don't don't lie to me.

Yeah, dude, eventually, I got to settle down, right?

Yeah, dude, I just...

Yeah, dude, screw your dad. Let him eat our asses.

Yeah, for second there, I thought you guys're gonna do something terrible to me.

Yeah, gross. Since when did you start running the bar on a gas generator?

Yeah, hang on one second.

Yeah, he keeps that camera on nonstop, just in case.

Yeah, he owns the Philadelphia Soul, the arena football team.

Yeah, he'll do just fine.

Yeah, he's gonna want something good for sure. For sure.

Yeah, here we are. Let's, uh, let's get our blood pumping

Yeah, here's the thing. We felt that your first review was just a

Yeah, hey, Cricks, when the reinforcements get here,

Yeah, hey, Dennis, I got you something.

Yeah, hey, Franky.

Yeah, how about, uh, letting me go.

Yeah, how does an ass breathe? Explain that to me.

Yeah, I absolutely called him a faggot, but he ordered chardonnay.

Yeah, I can't do that.

Yeah, I did the Three's Company thing once.

Yeah, I did, I did, I did, but it's... your love, it's, like,

Yeah, I don't sound like that, all right.

Yeah, I got it, Dee.

Yeah, I got some plans.

Yeah, I got to be honest, buddy, I'm not really feeling these tunes.

Yeah, I guess not.

Yeah, I heard about that shit. You trying to write "memoirs," erotic shit.

Yeah, I knew you guys were alive, okay?

Yeah, I love their eyes.

Yeah, I mean, I'm not saying this isn't important work

Yeah, I put it up right after you called me ugly.

Yeah, I should definitely see a doctor.

Yeah, I showed it to him.

Yeah, I think all the butt madness is really going to sell it.

Yeah, I think you gave us the life of the Rambo.

Yeah, I was gonna say sentences!

Yeah, I'll take a Jager Bomb.

Yeah, I'm trying to set it up. It takes a second, Dee.

Yeah, it's going to hurt like a bitch. Okay, ready?

Yeah, it's gonna work, and the whole thing's gonna be on tape, too.

Yeah, it's gonna work, and the whole thing's gonna be on tape, too.

Yeah, it's not that much further. God!

Yeah, it's perfect.

Yeah, it's very classy vehicle, though.

Yeah, Johnson.

Yeah, let me make some calls.

Yeah, let's get a picture. I can't believe you recognized us.

Yeah, like, we got tarred and feathered for your ass, so...

Yeah, look man. The classics are classics for a reason?

Yeah, look, as you can probably tell, I'm not really a bus person.

Yeah, look, I'm going to be upfront with you.

Yeah, man, all you have to do is envision all the shit in the world that you want,

Yeah, man, but I did... I banged that girl in the fountain.

Yeah, man, come on, help me out here.

Yeah, man, if the guy doesn't seem like he's going for it,

Yeah, man, inspirational.

Yeah, Mr. Mac, I'm going to tell those parole board dickheads

Yeah, now we are willing to not force you to write that review

Yeah, now, that's Charlie's vision, but it's not mine.

Yeah, oh. What to do, what to do.

Yeah, or is it my creamy thighs you're after?

Yeah, right.

Yeah, right. Either way works, dude.

Yeah, right. So the point is, Frank, is that these are all business expenses.

Yeah, she watched an entire episode of Mama's Familyand fell asleep

Yeah, she's pretty fat, dude. Good one, witch.

Yeah, sounds like a real sucker.

Yeah, that slipped right out, huh?

Yeah, that would 'cause a lot less problems if we just called

Yeah, that'll be good. Yeah, we can rub his face in it.

Yeah, that's stupid.

Yeah, that's the beauty of having insurance.

Yeah, that's the first from the first one.

Yeah, that's what I was trying to say.

Yeah, the secret is a self help book that Dee read and explained to us.

Yeah, the Three Amigos, huh?

Yeah, there does. Nobody writes a musical for no reason. That doesn't make sense.

Yeah, there was some poop in our bed this morning.

Yeah, there's no reason to give away our parts, okay?

Yeah, this has nothing to do with money.

Yeah, this is Blood Brother Two... go ahead.

Yeah, uh, I chose jeans. I'm not seeing a lot of other jeans...

Yeah, we also both have to name our first born child Murphy

Yeah, we are. Stack on 'em.

Yeah, we got a turd.

Yeah, we need to find another one, 'cause we're not hiding in the bed.

Yeah, we realized the reason why the Juarez family

Yeah, we're buying the wedding dress.

Yeah, we're going to have to clear our schedules.

Yeah, we're gonna need you to sign something.

Yeah, well, I have a drinking problem.

Yeah, well, to be honest with you, I wouldn't mind seeing how

Yeah, well, you're looking all sorts of good.

Yeah, yeah, but look at this, huh?

Yeah, yeah, I think so.

Yeah, yeah, she's coming. She wants to look great for your big date.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, a desperate family that's gonna yield us the highest return.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, yeah. If we were going to kill ourselves,

Yeah, yeah. No. I'm going to sell the book, okay,

Yeah, you don't pay a fireman to put out a fire.

Yeah, you know what?

Yeah, you know who that is, huh?

Yeah, you set the tone for the whole meeting.

Yeah, you should go after something that could at least defend itself.

Yeah, you take care of your body, you don't need a doctor. I want that.

Yeah, you that, that girl, PatheticGirl43.

Yeah, you're asking us to predict the future, Dee.

Yeah, you're confused your life with Rambo again.

Yeah, you're thinking about John Rambo's life, every time.

Yeah!

Yeah!

Yeah! Here we go.

Yeah! Yeah, that's the classic setup. You know this? No?

Yeah?

Yeah?

Yeah? I was hunted once.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah. And you're going to be deformed for the rest of your life.

Yeah. Her eyes are so far apart, they're like they're on...

Yeah. I smashed the crap out of it. Gone.

Yeah. I've been working my ass off on these videos.

Yeah. Just a dream.

Yeah. Just wait till he saves your life one day with it.

Yeah. No, no, no. I just decided to go a different way.

Yeah. The only way it's really gonna work for me is if

Yeah. Well, all the patriots are doing it, including Washington,

Yeah. What are, what are you still doing up?

Yeah. Why?

Yeah. Yeah, man. Plus, think about it.

Yeah. You'd think they'd have huge homes.

Yeah...

Yeah... I got a lot of work to do.

Yeah... I knew.

Yeah... I was going to stay in Mac's room.

Yeeees...!

Yeees...!

Yees...!

Yees...!

Yees...!

Yees...!

Yep, you best get to stepping, because Johnny Law's a coming.

Yes, apparently, he made a tape of us having sex

Yes, he's sleeping right over there, just the way you like 'em.

Yes, I can see that, Charlie.

Yes, I work for him. We get our information from the top, the top cave.

Yes, let's go. In fact,

Yes, ok, now, I know it's crazy. The idea Frank feeding us human meat.

Yes, they are very pretty.

Yes, we have a new fashious meat hug.

Yes, well, I'll tell you what.

Yes, yes.

Yes, you do. She's gonna think, uh...

Yes! Bro, you gotta admit. I had so much more awesome than tea bagging.

Yes! Well, we'll need a stick to do the bashing.

Yes?

Yes?

Yes.

Yes.

Yes.

Yes.

Yes.

Yes. How do you know that?

Yes. Yes, we need to make a declaration of dependence.

Yesterday's paper, and an empty bottle of sleeping pills,

Yo, Bill, what's happening?

Yo, punk, wake up, punk.

Yo, punk.

You and I are gonna get along very well.

You are in the emergency room in the hospital because you had a terrible car accident?

You are my slave. You have to get me flagons of ale.

You are not going in there with that cancer thing,

You are saying no?

You are the worst.

You aren't gonna believe this. Sinbad tried to kill me.

You ate raccoon meat.

You bet your ass!

You better have a good reason for getting us out of bed this early, jerk.

You better not loose your hair, you ugly bold hair.

You brought me... what is this, like...

You burned my head!

You call me Sinbad one more time,

You call me Sinbad one more time...

You came at the right time.

You can find amazing things in pawnshops.

You can get the top quality anti anxiety drugs.

You can have more than one best friend, right?

You can help me out, Charlie, but we're not going to put.

You can just take them and force them to do whatever you want.

You can make it funnier. You're a funny girl.

You can't be throwing us curveballs like this.

You can't do it or you won't do it?

You can't go to a gas station.

You can't just tee her up and expect her not to take a swing at you, right?

You can't kidnap more people to cover up the original kidnapping.

You can't make a mule sexy.

You can't pull the wild card when I already have my shirt

You can't put anything past them.

You can't rule out trickery.

You can't take those stories out. That's the rub!

You can't tell me what to do.

You can't tell under the masks.

You chalked it up to your old plumbing and penchant for spicy foods.

You come and see this play... I didn't want to have to do this...

You control nothing.

You could've just opened it.

You couldn't have given us a heads up about that a long time ago?

You decided to rock jeans, for instance. I'm confused by that.

You didn't know anything...

You didn't mention anything about the sprawling manor and all the garments.

You didn't say anything about doing good deeds. Is that a part of this?

You disgust everyone.

You do not go on a man hunt.

You do not hunt a man.

You don't actually have to do any tests 'cause I already know

You don't believe? Check it out.

You don't even have to tell me, man. That's where you find a dead body, right?

You don't find that a little suspicious?

You don't have to say anymore. That's us, that is us.

You don't know how tough it is being me.

You don't know why I do the things that I do.

You don't live in a coffee shop. Read closer.

You don't pooled it of better than anyone.

You don't really think she's a... a witch, do you?

You don't see Bar...?

You don't shove a musical in someone's face.

You don't understand me.

You don't wanna be all nervous and sweaty when Dee gets here.

You don't want to bang on an empty stomach, do you?

You ever see those girls mashing the g****s, and then

You focus on your art, okay?

You gave Rex jaguar!

You get so excited about the smashing and then you make it competitive.

You give us a shitload of money. We buy a shitload of gasoline.

You go ahead and go first. I still got a little energy left.

You got a great ass.

You got a revolution coming.

You got any plans for the outside?

You got me something? What?

You got some beans on you, or what's up?

You got the camera, man?

You got to be kidding me. I got boxes full of Pepe!

You got to eat cockroaches next.

You got to fake your own death.

You got to get a lot closer.

You got to pay the troll toll to get in this boy's hole...

You got turd?

You got weird balls.

You got, you got a bus, just like in the show.

You gotta get out of here. It's not safe here.

You gotta get out there.

You gotta pay the troll toll to get in...

You gotta pay the troll toll, if you want to get into that boy's hole.

You gotta pay the troll toll, You gotta pay the troll toll to get in.

You gotta spend money to make money: Economics 101, dude.

You gotta sweeten the pot, eh?

You gotta take it one step at a time when you want to be an actor.

You guys are really going to drink that many, just the two of you tonight?

You guys get to work. I'm gonna go hop in one of their beds

You guys need to get two beds.

You guys took the van? I thought it was some Muslim guy.

You guys wanna try some of this?

You guys win, all right?

You guys, check out this cool gown.

You guys, get out here right now.

You have a bad attitude when you're drinking, you huge footed slut.

You have a bad attitude when you're drinking.

You have a hole in the back of your pajamas.

You have all these colors on your face, your mouth is going like this.

You have been in our face with that camera, man.

You have defeated the evil that was here.

You have open cans of pee everywhere!

You have ruined our turd.

You have to do that. You get back what you put in

You injected Mexican collagen in my eye?!

You jam in further though.

You just described the plot of Rambo.

You just dogged, bro.

You just got dogged.

You just got to start thinking of the tool belt as an extension of yourself.

You just gotta put in your dues, Charlie, you know?

You just missed out on an extraordinary adventure, pal.

You just said that he was your best friend.

You just totally broke this mirror, bro.

You keep saying that, but I don't know what it means.

You keep your sister as your slave?

You kept hitting me over and over in the same spot with a volleyball.

You kept pushing, and pushing,

You kidding me? My nerves are like...

You know I can see through my windows, right?

You know in that bed...

You know something, Mac, I actually burn that, too, most of the time.

You know that chick I've been banging down at Independence Hall?

You know what else we should do? Get some new outfits.

You know what I mean?

You know what I'll do?

You know what I'm saying?

You know what it is, bitch.

You know what it's like for Chocolate Rain

You know what kid? You gotta get out of here, man.

You know what that is?

You know what this all makes me realize, though?

You know what though? At least he forgot about this piece.

You know what you're doing? They're in Spanish.

You know what you've just eaten, right?

You know what, back me up on this, Charlie.

You know what, bro, actually we're going to be done

You know what, buddy, we will jam your asshole up with so many lawyers,

You know what, guys? I'm sorry. I got to bring something up.

You know what, I just need you to get me in Dennis' house alone

You know what, I'm going back to the bar.

You know what, I'm gonna take it one step further and propose

You know what, if you guys don't want to be in it,

You know what, let's just smash the one wall.

You know what, man, you know what?

You know what, man? I'm kicking it up a notch.

You know what, man? Perfect,

You know what, man? Screw this. I'm outta here.

You know what, okay, you guys. I tell you what, you win.

You know what, well played my man!

You know what?

You know what?

You know what?

You know what?

You know what? Forget it, okay?

You know what? Hold on a second.

You know what? Let's just get started.

You know what? Let's take it down.

You know what? Sit back, get comfortable, it's gonna take a little longer this time.

You know what? Um...

You know what? We don't condone that sort of thing, okay?

You know what? You don't write it, bitch,

You know what... if you just give us the stuff, we'll be on our way.

You know where to find me.

You know you did it.

You know you hunt a man,

You know, a piece of me wants to chalk this whole

You know, a really great hunter would go after something that can hunt him back.

You know, and work it out. That'll get a lot of hits.

You know, anything goes, crazy European sex party kind of a thing.

You know, get inside there.

You know, go down there, snoop around the shop.

You know, I got to be honest with you.

You know, I'll see you later.

You know, I'm glad you're getting all this on tape because

You know, I'm not even really bald?

You know, I've been trying to get into the anonymous sex thing lately.

You know, Rob, know what he got to do with it?

You know, they can come by, suck up some history, do some shots, get blasted.

You know, this has got me thinking, guys.

You know, those are the decisions that're best left to the suits on Washington.

You know, to be honest with you, man, I'm a little shocked.

You know, we got a vision board thing going.

You know, we got ourselves a little Mexican girl here, and I'm thinking...

You know, what's scary about this whole thing, really, is

You know, where it's all balls and male ass just..

You know, you're... you're much smarter than my old roommate.

You know? We don't give a shit about any of these.

You know... I just had a crazy thought.

You know... the Jon Bon Jovi, the Christ wound stigmatas...

You like this, we like this.

You listen to me, you pale faced English dickhole,

You make contact with the target?

You make those problems up. You choose to do that stuff.

You may enter.

You might want to consider that on the other side of this wall,

You might want to start driving because she called the cops on us.

You mind if I just took a quick peek at your new review there?

You must be wasted, dude. 24 beers by yourself?

You need to hear him sexing her, okay?

You need to take a look at this.

You need us, Dennis. You're going to need some legal help.

You on my arm, adorned in magnificent garments, dressed in the finest jewels.

You once were a boy and now you're man.

You pay for quality 'cause there's so much crap out there these days.

You pour gas into the car using one of these funnels, right?

You probably got a tapeworm.

You put some sticky over his face,

You put your balls in my mouth while I was sleeping?

You ready?

You realize how excited I was to meet Sinbad?

You really got to stop. Just give it to me.

You ruined our glory hole. Beat it and shut the door.

You said you wanted to have anonymous sex.

You sat on the sidelines while these four titans battled it out.

You saw the YouTube thing, right?

You scared the shit out of me. I almost dropped all my beer.

You scared the shit outta me.

You see, my vision is to have a gorgeous yellow Lamborghini

You sex freak, go!

You should see Frank's balls.

You shouldn't be drinking in a shoe store.

You shut up, bitch!

You sit there looking crazy and capable of anything.

You smash them both over the head with a bottle.

You son of a bitch!

You stupid son of a bitch, dude!

You sucked.

You sure you're all right?

You sure? 'Cause I feel like I'm awake.

You switched 'em up?

You talking about garments and jewelry?

You the man, huh?

You the man, huh?

You the opportunity to give us another chance.

You think anyone gives a shit about a billboard?

You think I was born yesterday?

You think I'm not going to explode?

You think that your energy's more positive than mine?

You think that's enough?

You think there's some perv coming in here to watch me make?

You think these are fresh shrimp or frozen shrimp?

You think they got any beer in the icebox?

You think they'll keep, or should we put them in the fridge?

You think they're my baby teeth?

You think this father and son are sleeping on the same bearskin together?

You think you could fall in love with one of these broads?

You too. Spit!

You try to help people and you just wind up getting screwed.

You two monkeys are going to get me a new 1997 Dodge Neon,

You want his pumpkins, we kill him and take his pumpkins.

You want me to do what?

You want me to examine a plastic container full of feces?

You want me to scalp them?

You want me to walk a mile in your shoes

You want the baby boy's hole,

You want the slave, you gotta pay for the slave.

You want this baby boy's hole, You've got to pay the troll toll

You want to bang in Charlie and Frank's apartment?

You want to come in my room?

You want to go down by the bridge?

You want to talk about stress? You want to talk about stress?!

You were brought here because you are the most beautiful people

You were eating the cheese, weren't you, outof the rat traps?

You were jealous that a few pieces of poop got more attention than you.

You were never going to get it anyway.

You were putting the cheese in the rat traps?

You were speaking at full volume, okay?

You wish it was venison.

You won't know what to do with yourself.

You won't need a pot of gold to get sloppy. So come on down to Paddy's.

You you never could hide.

You you're the crew.

You, I thought, might have actually been murdered.

You, on the other hand, well...

You? No, dude, you totally froze up out there.

You...

You'll see that there's someone in the bed.

You're a master of karate and

You're a master of karate and

You're a master of karate and

You're a pit of despair.

You're about to experience the hard knocks of a free market, bitch.

You're be, you're be so... Oh, my God.

You're bleeding us to death,

You're dressed like Dennis or Charlie.

You're freaking the girls out with this mannequin. Get rid of it.

You're going to get more work done 'cause you got more leg movement.

You're going to prove that the secret is real.

You're going to walk a mile in myshoes now,

You're going to want to huff a little glue and drink some beer.

You're gonna be okay. It's not a kidnapping, so...

You're gonna do like a Poltergeistthing?

You're gonna find a bird that just won't quit either.

You're gonna hang out at the rehab facility for a couple a days

You're gonna harvest my organs, aren't you?

You're gonna waste all the bullets.

You're here for moral support.

You're home, thank god.

You're just confusing everything.

You're just pissed off because I pooled it of better than you.

You're just wasting a lot of energy. Stop.

You're kidding me!

You're looking for a roommate, right?

You're losing your mind.

You're not a scientist?!

You're not getting this. I'll walk you through the steps as we go

You're not going to be up there because I'm going to be the face

You're not going to go out with me tonight 'cause

You're not going to say anything? You're just going to stare at me?

You're not going to say it exactly like that...

You're not going very fast.

You're not gonna be able to eat this hot dog.

You're not gonna do this to me, girl. Get out of here.

You're not gonna have a face by the time I'm done with you!

You're not gonna stop, are you?

You're not letting the wild card do his thing.

You're not negotiating shit.

You're nothing without Green Man.

You're planting a baby monitor?

You're setting me up, and I'm getting the hell out.

You're sometimes asked to model a theme.

You're stealing my dreams, and if you don't mind, I'll go get those dreams back.

You're still trying to get with the waitress,

You're talking about banging me, right?

You're talking about Rambo again.

You're the biggest thief I've ever met in my life.

You're the one who accused me of being a witch in the first place, Dennis.

You're totally right. If you don't mind, I'm going to come with you.

You're touching me. That doesn't... this isn't weird for you?

You're walking around with that bald cap on all day and I'm a jerk.

You're wanting me to say that I want to make love to a little, baby, tiny boy.

You're... ugly.

You've been banging the waitress?

You've been sleeping in a giant dress shirt.

You've been telling me that Calvin Coolidge was a friend of yours,

You've done it before. All right, good night.

You've got it pretty tough? Your life is pretty hard?

You've got to pay the troll toll To get in

You've lost your goddamn mind, Charlie.

You've lost your mind.

Your bar would have to have some historical significance.

Your bird quit.

Your body's taking its job very seriously.

Your boy awaits.

Your charm and good looks, and get that reward money.

Your dumb dick partner walked into the bar

Your ear's bleeding a ton.

Your father threatened to, quote, "eat the living shit out of you".

Your flat screen TV... I took a look at it.

Your full name, sir.

Your hands are in your pockets 'cause they're itchy?

Your head of security.

Your house is no more.

Your life is no more.

Your lives are gonna change forever.

Your love is, your love is currently doing that, so...

Your memoirs?

Your old buddy here knows what he's doing every now and then.

Your real best friend is, though, huh?

Your taste buds have savored, that

Your voice needs to come off as elegant (with English accent): as your clothing, okay?

Yours wedged in, too?

Youse a bunch of white boys, right?

15 bucks get you 10 minutes alone with the bodies.

30 minutes? I feel like I've been sleeping for a day.

30% more resistance.

80,000 hits, Dee. That's huge!

...not to do the cancer thing. I asked my bald cap guy.

...tearing the whole thing down? Were you planning on destroying the entire house?

...you want to let us know. Anything at all.

'cause I just don't see what you're talking about. It's not a **** van. It's a spy van.

"It has none". Uh oh, are you serious?

12 for me and 12 for Mac. 12 for Mac...

80,000 hits. 80,000?

80,00 hits. That's a lot of hits, Charlie.

700. 700?

a chef. Of small..

About a week ago. I've been doing it for about a week. Why would you do that?

about how we do the **** scene. Yeah.

Abso... Use the blowtorch

Absolutely. Absolutely.

Absolutely. Well, then tell me about it.

Ah, God damn it, dude! No more bullets.

All my furs for all your pumpkins. No.

All my money. Whatever.

All our guns jammed. Blame that on your witch wife.

All right, bud, all right. Yeah, no, I'm just... I'm...

All right, go. Guard your eyes.

All right, good. Can I do it naked?

All right, it's a good review. That's a good start.

All right, thanks, bud. All right. See ya.

All right, well, fine. You know what, Barney?

All right, what's this plan of yours? Walk with me a second.

All right. No, we'll do it. What's it called?

All right. Are you ready? Yeah. I was ready from...

although it's pretty obvious to me. I started to look that, but isn't it?

And anyway, so... No, no, no, I'm not Bill, I'm Terry.

And at a certain point... How many times?

and does karate across the stage. Where are you getting that from?!

and I don't feel comfortable. I think it's a bad idea to cut the song.

and I got myself up on a billboard." Not so fast.

and I just... I won't have it. No.

And I'm gonna show you..

And if you try all source of other meats, Yes!

and my nips are doing stuff they've never done before. Feel 'em. Look at these.

And only left one piece of meat out. I get it.

and that'll win him over. Yeah, I'm sure it will.

and that's not going to happen. I'm not sure if I'm comfortable with that either, bro.

and that's part of this. It did break the lamp.

and the queen is impressed. Yeah, that's a bad guy, that's not the king.

and then we have proof! Yes!

and then we'll get our Lamborghinis and... Okay, good.

and then you do the wrecking ball. Do you want to wear the belt?

and then you get it. You get the stuff. Check it out.

and they hang out with each other, and... Absolutely.

and we need to talk the talk. Fine. How do you do it?

and we need to... We were acting like British noblemen,

And we wanted to.. Spent some time..

And what's your shoe size? 13.

and you want to sing a song? Yeah, I would like to do it.

any moment". That's good, right? How is that good?

are absolutely necessary? Yes, the blindfolds are necessary.

Are there balls and asshole men... Okay, please stop. Please stop doing that.

Are you goddamn kidding me? What?

Are you goddamn kidding me? What?

Are you in junior high? Mouth stuff?

Are you kidding me, guy? Ok.

Are you kidding me? Well, I didn't want to bring that up.

Are you saying you're gay? All right, escort them out!

Are you serious? Yes, it's awesome.

Are you sure this is the place? Yes, yes, yes, my intel says so.

Are you sure we need it? They take stuff outside and..

Aren't you a scientist? Yeah, do it.

away from you people. My man.

Awesome, right? No, no.

Ball shit! What?

be speaking to a man today, so... Yeah, is there any way that

Because that's great stuff. That was my private video diary.

because you look like a burned up freak. You know what?

Big numbers. Yeah, come on.

Bon Jovi. Yeah,

Boom, there we go. Hey, what are you doing?

Booze! Right? Booze.

Bro? Can I just have it?

Bro. Minimum wage.

Burn the duster! I'm not burning the duster!

but I can't keep my eyes open. No, I hear you.

But I'm not really doing anything. Yes, you are, Charlie.

but if you come and see this play... Yeah?

but it's wrong to do it. No, it's a..

but they're not dead. You saw the tape, Dee!

calculate the totals. Oh, it's easy, dude.

Can I smell your mouth? Why?

Can you get us more like human meat? Bodies, please.

Can you prove that stuff? Yeah, it happens minutes ago.

Can't blame her for that one. Can't blame her for that one.

Cancun then. Perfect. Tropical.

Charlie and Dee! Dee! Hey!

Charlie, the lighter, please. What the hell... No, no, no.

Charlie, this is my big song. Yeah, yeah.

Charlie? Yes.

Clearly. All right, we have to make sure

Come on, come on. You think he will autograph my shirt?

Come on, let's tear it down, Charlie. Let's just rip it off the wall, man.

Come on, man, let me do it. This is my job! Wild card, baby!

Come on, man. Only cars.

Come on! Stay behind me. Why are these jeans so tight?

Come on. Enjoy it, Coach Dick and Balls.

Come to your real best friend. Yeah.

Coming back from the grave, bitch. All right, that's cool.

Congratulations. Congratulations to you.

Connect Four's a fun game. I don't like counting.

Coordinator. Okay.

cracking a window or something. It has not been easy.

Crazy, crazy... You can have a good life with...

Cut, cut! What are you doing? That was great.

Damn your necromancy, woman! No, I'm not.

Days? Days.

Deal with it. All right, all right, okay.

Deal. All righty!

Definitely. Okay, clearly the British are gonna win this thing.

Dennis, I was thinking fish recently. Really?

Dennis, you gotta look at this. What is this?

Dennis, you're on. Yeah.

Did he get a little bit hard on us? Can we not talk about this?

Did you wear that all the way here? I let my ass breathe.

Did you, or did you not meet Sinbad? Yeah, I met Sinbad.

Do I get that right? Are you serious? Yeah, man, he's perfect.

Do not shoot the pumpkin please. Okay.

do some good deeds. Wait a second.

Do you know who this guy is? No. I have no idea, man.

Do you really think that? Charlie, Charlie, go, go, go.

Do you want this up? Yes. Yes, I do.

Do you want to be like him? Yeah.

Do you? Don't screw you?! Don't screw me like this, Charlie. Come on!

Doctor, I have health insurance. Yeah, we're on our father's policy.

Don't move! Hey, hey, hey!

Don't push! Don't push! All right.

Don't rush me. Don't rush him.

Done and done. Okay, Dee, you continue to be useless.

Draw it out more. Draw it out more than that?

Dressed like a man? You want me to dress like a man?

Dude, I feel like I can do it then, too. What are you doing?!

Dude! Jesus!

escalating the plot to kill us. Dennis, help me!

face, you know what I'm saying? Oh, it's the low down...

Fess up! I did not poop the bed!

Fine. Fine! See you tonight!

Fine. Play it cool.

Fine. Whatever it takes. I can't believe you guys

Fire! Ready?

First and last, please. Son of a bitch.

Frank? Grab 'em. We're not doing that.

Frank's waterboarding Dee. You guys?! You took the van?!

Friends with Corman. Yeah.

Gag ga da boom. Okay?

Gas guzzler. Well, not on the highway. Okay.

gas station all day long. You're burning up our product.

Gasoline. Excuse me.

Get him! Oh, you can't run way from me!

get some side abs going. You want to get some side abs?

Give him his cat. Dude, your cat's freaking out!

Give me that gun. She cursed the gun!

Give me the gum, Frank, please? He said, "No gum".

Give me the gun. Fine.

giving me shit. Why are you turned around like that?

Go away. I'm trying to draw breasts and pretty women. Focus on the words money

Go, go, go, go. Okay, okay, okay.

Go! Go! All right, there's...

Goddamn it, look, okay, so... Why don't you decide?

Goddamn it. Get past it. Who cares about the mannequin?

Goddamn! That is funny.

Goddamn! Jacking off to my... No, no!

Good day, sir. Good day. Oh!

Good, a little bit of sauce with. We don't have any slice left.

Great idea, right? We'll have a tiny little bit.

Great. Great. They're good, they're good.

Green Man into anything. Well, we'll see about that.

had long life that was good and.. What's the hot plate for?

Haunting

Haunting people. Haunting.

Have you ever spent any... Kind of in...

He almost didn't recognize you? Are you guys shooting a porn?

he didn't mention our names. I feel like he'd to mentien our names.

He drank too much. Goddamn it.

He probably did. That's a good idea.

He sent a letter. Who sent a letter?

He should relax. Go someplace tropical?

he starting asking questions... I asked one question.

He'd go for it. Yeah, Mehar could work.

He's a terrorist! And that you are working for him!

He's perfect. Yeah.

He's thinking. He's back!

Hello, bitches! Jesus Christ, Dee!

Hello. Frank, you got to get me out of here.

Help! We gotta get him inside.

Helping people. Helping people.

Here. Put these on. No.

Here's whatever, bitch. What? No, don't improv

Hey, all right. Where are we gonna put it?

Hey, dude. I just made a date

Hey, foreman, what's the plan? Mr. Foreman.

Hey, Frank. Hooray.

Hey, Frank. Hey, Frank. Hey, man.

Hey, Franky. Good to see you.

Hey, guys, what are you doing? What the hell...

Hey, he knew: no pain, no gain. He had good messages.

Hey, I know you. What?

Hey, man. How are you?

Hey, you too, Jan. Hey, beat it.

Hey. Son of a bitch. I know what's going on.

Hi. Hey.

Hi. Hi. Rochelle.

Holy shit, let me just hunt. It's an excellent idea.

Holy shit. Holy shit.

Holy smokes! They're, like, super hard, right?

How badass is that? You know what, man?

How did you read my...? ... Mind?

How does a...? Just leave me alone, okay?!

How is that a bad idea? Go sit down.

How'd you know that? You're my blood brother, man.

How'd you like to buy some guns? Yes.

Human meat. Alright.

I absolutely can. You can't do it, can you?

I am a fool... Yeah.

I am glad you had a good time eating human meat. Thank you.

I ate a fu** monkey, Dee. Charlie?

I barely cooked it. Really?

I came up with a plan. Lay it on us, bud.

I can have my own competition. Awesome.

I can hear you. Yeah, all right, very good.

I can play both those. No, I don't want you guys switching roles.

I can't believe you guys did it, man. What are you doing?

I could drink a swimming pool. Frank, you are a terrible foreman.

I couldn't sleep last night, could you? Nope.

I did write "soul". So it's "boy's soul".

I didn't know he was so funny. I didn't know he was gonna...

I didn't say that. You didn't deny it either.

I do it every day. Hey, I like you haircut, man.

I don't have an angle. Whose face are we shoving this musical in?

I don't know if I'm ready. I'm not feeling ready.

I don't know if you noticed... Go jogging! Ang go!

I don't know. Is that a baby monitor?

I don't know. I'm thinking... What the hell!

I don't miss a beat. That would actually be him.

I don't think that's a good idea. It seems a bit aggressive to me.

I don't want anybody to see in. We can't see out, Frank!

I don't want to get too bulky. Right.

I feel like we did talk about you. Dee, your ship has sailed.

I feel like we go talk to him, again. We should talk to him.

I feel unsafe here every single day. Oh, very often.

I got a guide for everything, Charlie. You're so full of shit.

I got a guy. You got a guy?

I got another call, buddy. No no, no, don't...!

I got you a walkie talkie. Dude...

I have to pee. Okay, sidebar.

I just need it, dude. The poppers person.

I just sent someone in there now. Yeah?

I knew you're gonna steal from me again. You're stupid.

I know how it works. What? Charlie!

I know how to count, dude. Okay, you do it, you do it,

I know, tell me about it. Nice and easy now.

I know. Oh, my God!

I lied. What?

I like yogurt up my ass and a popsicle stick in my mouth, that's all. Oh my god, man.

I love that bed. Don't buy this act.

I mean, that's all there is to it. Hey, buddy.

I mean, when we do that, we don't want any gushers. I don't wanna get caught.

I might've overdone it a little bit. You think so?

I need one more thing from you. Jesus Christ.

I never wanted that before, I wanna know. I know, but I wanna know.

I never wasn't going to sing the song. You were excited about singing a song,

I really have to pee. I hear ya, bro.

I said no Green Man! Green Man sells this whole thing.

I said, "No gum," everyone. It's unprofessional.

I saw that. You're watching my tapes again?

I say... we bribe them. A bribe.

I shall buy your guns! No no no no no, not yet.

I shall buy your guns. Yes!

I should crack a window. You really should.

I still got it. They get it.

I suggest you try it... Cooler than I thought it was.

I think it's very important. There's a war happening outside

I think we should use this, man. I think we should, too.

I told you... I asked a lot of people.

I understand what's going on. Damn it.

I wanna get one. There's another one out there.

I want to put it on. Right. What's your angle?

I wanted to piss you off. Well, what about me?

I will knock you out. What the hell is going on here?

I will light a fire on the wall. On the wall.

I would like for you to take a five. Five... five minutes?

I would rather you didn't. Well, I think the people are gonna want to see that.

I write it! What is your problem, Sinbad?

I'll be lying back. You want me to cross the stage?

I'll be the foreman. Yeah, great, excellent.

I'll give you $60 million for the team. Frank, Frank? Thank you.

I'll talk to you in a minute. Best friend one to best friend two.

I'm a huge Sinbad fan. I've all his... Sinbad is not the man that...

I'm a jerk? Yeah, you're a jerk.

I'm a princess who lives in a coffee shop? You work in a coffee shop.

I'm all boned up over here. Me, too!

I'm already on it. All right, God, for the love of God.

I'm behind the line. You're on the line.

I'm dreaming? Yeah.

I'm feeling his nips, Frank. Yeah, man, I'm so exited for this hunt

I'm getting a high ride. That's a better...

I'm getting out of here. This is a setup. What?

I'm gonna break this. What's...

I'm gonna burn the wall. You know what?

I'm gonna take it anyway. Please don't listen to anything he says.

I'm in control of myself. Don't piss on the couch.

I'm in rehab, dude. Oh, yeah.

I'm in your way. ... In my way.

I'm Jesus. What the hell, man?!

I'm not doing it. Come on.

I'm not doing that, Dennis. No, that was incredibly dangerous.

I'm not touching you. We're enjoying ourselves over here.

I'm okay, I'm okay, Charlie. Holly shit!

I'm really sorry. That was huge! Yeah. That's...

I'm sorry, since when did you become the brains. I'm sorry I've always been the brains.

I'm ugly? Yeah.

I've never seen jeans in a gym. Okay, well, look, that's fine.

If we just untie him for a second. Not gonna work.

If you say yes... Yes.

into the trunk of his own car. Jesus Christ, this is bad.

Is it a sex tape? No.

Is it a yes, or...? Is it a yes?

Is it? Yeah, yeah, yeah, it is!

Is it? Yes.

Is that all that it is? That's all it is.

Is this correct? That is also correct.

Is this one of your walking places? Charlie, I have Mace.

It doesn't have to be though. To celebrate the ass kicking.

It was a very old grenade. What a gyp.

It was just the The Natural Juice of two by the way. Oh, so good!

It was really loud and... Don't start!

It wasn't working. It's not working.

It's a classic mistake. I'm sorry...

It's a dead body... Sold.

It's a front row seat. I don't care. I don't want to see your play.

It's a metaphor. You keep using that word,

It's a piece of clothing! They're people!

It's a very big part of your... It's just a couple of words.

It's all connected, baby. It's connected. You're talking about

It's all over the bed. It's piss. He's peeing.

It's because he's dead, right? It's because he's dead, that's why not.

It's definitely not how it works, man. Oh, my God!

It's going to be so perfect! Let's go.

It's going to drive me crazy. What's up, man?

It's gonna go to their intention. Let's cut it of in pieces.

It's in? It's out.

It's like we can dunk him down and, like hooo~ Cheers, man, let me went through that.

It's look cool. It looks pretty good.

It's not because he's black, though, right? What?

It's out, and it's in. Pretty good, right?

It's out? I did it.

It's probably very hot in there. There's another bit of an issue,

It's the same person... Charlie, who's playing the troll guy?

It's the same song. And what's on the very back page?

It's wrong that, going back to the street! Damn it! Damn it!

Jan sent me. Jan sent me, too

Jesus Christ, Charlie. That right there is the mail.

Jesus Christ! How can I relax? Relax.

Just cut it right out of the frame. What are you doing?

Just let the room breathe a little bit. Okay, and you think that's better than just, like,

Just take your places over there. Frank, what are you doing?

Karate?! No, I made that up, man.

knickers off so we can jam, yeah? Not just yet.

Lady Deandra? Yes? Can I help you?

Leave it alone. That's not the middle.

Leave me alone. You're not gonna regret it.

Let Dennis bang her so we can get our loan. Well, here's a scenario.

Let me get the point out! The point... Anything is better than you.

Let me grab the flamethrower. Hold on a second, time out.

Let me reiterate my strong opposition to this idea. Trust me, Dennis, I know what I'm doing.

Let me tell the story, Charlie. Okay.

Let's do it. All right.

Let's do this! Let's get married! What?

Let's do this. No, no, no, no!

Let's go pow chop in that case. Did not know what he was capable of.

Let's just go inside. Can you just... please.

Let's not freak out. The plan's not working though, man.

Like a beer rub. Hu hum.

Like a man! Hell yeah, dude, a man?

like daily meats and sandwich meats. Absolutely!

like five minutes before you came in. Don't say that.

Lotta shady shit. Like what?

Mac to be a better friend to you. This is just becoming awkward.

Mac, because I can't speak to him. Free Market 101, you got to

Make it funnier. You're absolutely right.

man, she's terrible, gross. Only got one star from me.

many small items on hot plate. Of course, he just heated it up.

Maybe she used her sorcery. Sorcery?

Maybe skim too much. Yeah, let's tell the false story this time.

Maybe the dudes are babies. What?!

Maybe we could bury. No, there's no time.

Me, too, dude. I'm just throw that out there.

message you're trying to... Oh, man, you're forcing it.

minimum wage maybe? Minimum wage?

Mm, the fat one. She's not that fat.

Mostgracias. Good luck.

Move past it. I can't get it. All right.

Ms. Reynolds? Doctor, thank God. Listen,

Musketeers! Blind mice!

My mansion. Jesus, Frank, really still?

My sock drawer. Yeah.

Myth. Bad intel there.

Nayeth. Oh, nayeth, nayeth.

Nice talking to you. Yeah, call me back.

No kiddin'. Hu hum.

no other options at this point. Well, now!

no way he should be making this decision. Well, walk me through it, dude,

No, Antonio. I control you.

No, Dee. What the hell you doin', Dee?

No, I don't know how to... I know.

No, I don't. Okay.

No, I made that up. No, no, no.

No, I think I'm fine. Okay. Yeah, hey, no problem, man.

No, leave it. Out. Just drink the beer.

No, me neither. No.

No, no, we don't wanna know his name. Go away!

No, not really. What is going on in here?

No, that is... much worse. Weirdo.

No, we're not... Never mind. I don't care.

No, you get out of here. Get out!

No, you're welcome. It was delicious.

No! No, no!

No! You got to be kidding me!

No! Help! Shut up!

No! No, no. No, no.

No. I got that bad boy running 24/7.

No. No, myth.

No. Really? Let Dennis, let Dennis...

Nobody's gonna burn me! Dennis, calm down! Calm down!

Not a good review. No, it's not a good review.

Not gay sex. Okay.

Not going to have it. Can I just have it?

Not our idea. You know what I'm saying?

not tell anybody that this happened. I don't care.

Not that, not that. Jesus Christ, Charlie. Come on, man.

Not this fop bullshit! No, the fop thing's good, man.

Nothing. Then that's what you'll be singing.

Now he's suspicious of us! Oh, no!

Now you have some more of those? Oh, man, I got a shitload of those.

Now you're gonna make me look bad. Spit it out, man. You're gonna eat it?

Now you're talking. You like white wine. I know that.

Now, flourish the pinkie. Flourish the pinkie.

Now, hit it. Oh, God... What are you trying to do?

Now, I just think that you're overreacting, okay? Oh, really?

of a changing market place. That's all. That's money talk. Let's talk money.

Of course I have a spy. Is that normal to you?

of my plan. For way too long,

of Paddy's Bar. That's ridiculous, Frank.

Oh, come on, man... Shut up! Give it to him.

Oh, crap! What?

Oh, does he? Does he?

Oh, God, all over the place. Really?

Oh, God, your breath is horrible. Sorry. I'm like so drunk.

Oh, God! Oh, my God!

Oh, I did. I burned him. Really?

Oh, I got some wooden teeth put in. Did you?

Oh, it didn't really dent the wall, though

Oh, it feels good to help people. Oh, man, it sure does.

Oh, it's incredibly thin. Yeah, it's thin, sure,

Oh, Jesus. Just get in the bed.

Oh, Jesus. You see what I was going for, right?

Oh, Lady Deandra... Yes!

Oh, MacDonald, how goes it? Not good.

Oh, man! Oh, man! What happened, dude?

Oh, my bad. Yeah, no, it's no problem.

Oh, my God, I totally did. Charlie, why would you do that to me?

Oh, my God! Get into the bar.

Oh, my God! Goddamn it!

Oh, my God! You can't tell, uh?!

Oh, my God. Mouth stuff.

Oh, my God. Son of a bitch.

Oh, my God. You know what? Yeah, you're really forcing it.

Oh, my... Hey, you! Oh, my God! You scared me!

Oh, no! Goodness gracious, no!

Oh, no! Shit, dude! Shit!

Oh, none of those were terrible. Don't think about that.

Oh, really? Yeah.

Oh, really? What's this? Charlie, don't.

Oh, thank God. This is the blood of my men.

Oh, they're gonna have so much fun, man. Oh, those two are gonna have blast, huh?

Oh, yeah! Lead, of course. Wait, who's playing the dayman?

Oh, yeah? Now, are you, uh, European?

Oh, yeah. Why would you want to play the nightman?

Oh, yeah. Yeah, definitely. That's what this is all about, huh?

Oh, yes. Oh, yes, Charlie. We're gonna put it on the hot plate, right?

Oh... nice. Not nice.

Ok, I.. No! What, no! I still think so, no!

Ok, it's not like regular grocery store kind of meat. No, not meat from a grocery store.

OK, OK? Just stop. Just stop.

Okay guys, this is it. What the hell is this?

Okay, go, go, go, Matt, go. What are you talking about?

Okay, the past isn't... We got to gut this entire place.

Okay, what did you... No one's gonna blast your face

Okay, you guys ready? Yeah.

Okay, you guys ready? Yeah.

Okay, you rember? I'm gonna dust off the cobwebs

Okay? We weren't finish yet. Just a...

Okay. Good.

Okay. That's okay. 50%.

Okay. Thank you. Charlie, can I bring something up?

our friend was a.. He was a chef.

out of Bruce and get a confession. No problem.

Pass? Yeah, pass.

Piece of cake. Have a little faith in us, please.

Play it cool. Play it cool.

Poop is funny. He pooped on the floor.

Poor thing. Careful.

Pretty awesome. Is people noticing you on the Internet

Really bad. Don't panic. Don't panic.

Really cold what he's been writing. It's wrotten there.

Really? I'm sorry, yeah.

Really? Yeah, I did everyone of them.

Really? Yeah.

Really? Yeah.

Really? Yeah.

Really? Your boss is a woman?

Rewind. What?

Right! Yeah.

Right? Ok.

Rip another one. Yeah, say something else stupid, too.

Rip it right off the wall. Whoa, guys, guys, guys.

ripping the whole house down, just... Yeah, why...

Screw ya. Yeah.

See? We're free thinking outside hot. I like it.

Seriously, that's what that looks like? I just don't know what

Seriously?! Abort! Abort!

Sex sells. Boom. Absolutely.

She's a slave. Yeah. And a witch.

She's not getting it. Get the graph. Oh, yeah, the graph.

She's the ground meat in the middle. She's the ground meat in the middle.

Shut up! No, you asked a lot of questions.

Shut up. The cooler thing isn't helping now.

since we are in this situation... Absolutely, together we are.

Since when do you pay to stay in a hospital? Since always.

slips and she's, like... Why did you do that, Charlie?

so he doesn't do anything irrational. Just borrowing him.

so hold really still. Easy, easy.

so I can get something back from him. What?

so I got to go. Yeah, no, that's okay.

So it's also Mac. Two parts? Oh, yeah!

So round of applause for Artemis. Very nice.

So there's no pay then? I just told you what the pay is.

So we've got to attract attention. Yeah.

So you touched his dick?! Move past it. Let's plow through it.

So... heart attack. Yeah, yikes.

some sort of giant bird. You look so much like a bird.

Somebody.. That nobody will start asking questions about, if he's missing.

Someone no in the world could ever care about. Small change?

Something a little kinkier

Spit it out. Come on.

Start the car. Let's go! Let's follow him! Are you sure that's him?

Stop calling me girlfriend. So check it:

Stop telling me about the hunger, Ok? I'm feeling a good. Is it?

Stop yelling. I'm not an idiot!

Storing the gas and patties. All right.

Such a good story. Maybe she didn't understand the story.

Super pass, berpass... How do you super pass on something like this...

Surly? "I was forced to listen to

Tacos. Tacos, buddy.

Thank you very much. Let's go ahead and let's do this.

Thank you very much. We had a thing amongst the...

Thank you. Nice talking to you.

Thank you. Whoa, no, no, no, no, don't cut the song, man.

That doesn't make any sense. Just say the words...

That doesn't sound good. Oh, no, it's good.

That happened. So did I.

That is disgusting. I don't know anybody...

That is freaking me out. Move past the mannequin.

That is good thinking, sis. We're pretty good at this.

That is good, you know... Looks good, right?

That is my notebook. Free coffee for a year.

That is really ridiculous. Oh, is it?

That just does not compute with me. I don't understand what you're saying.

That makes sense, yeah? They got it.

That never happened to you, Frank. It happened to me, Mac.

That was stupid. But I I thought that you just said...

That was totally lame. That's what grenades do?

That wasn't human meat though, right? No~~~!

That wasn't working. My teeth were a smashing success.

That's a brilliant plan, right? All right, whatever, fine.

That's a great character. No, That's like a bad

That's a great look. You can't tell that I'm bold.

That's a very important part. You've been talking crazy

That's awesome, man. Yeah, it's great, right?

That's Bruce! This guy?

That's Dennis. That's Dennis.

That's fine. That is a terrible idea.

That's going to be Mac. What?

That's great. Absolutely.

That's great. That way we can communicate better.

That's it, I'm calling the cops. You thought that dude was Sinbad.

That's just a straight up fact. Guys, guys, guys!

That's kind of foreign, so... I got...

That's normal, right? I don't think so.

That's not good. All right,

That's not how it works. Hey, Frank you got a guy that does cat eyes?

That's not how it works. Hey, Frank you got a guy that does cat eyes?

That's not Sinbad, dude. I know that's not Sinbad.

That's pretty bogus. Not warmed it.

That's Rambo. You want me to help you or not?

That's ridiculous. Whatever, Frank

That's so goddamn stupid! What?!

That's the way it works. Oh, really?

That's what people want to see

That's why I put a lock on the fridge. Yeah.

The A Team... No, no, no!

the bar without using the barrels. Well, how the hell we gonna do that?

The billboard thing. Were you not listening?

The car's gonna go up. Now you're thinking.

The gas pedal. No, I'm saying, no, the brakes!

the gas pedal's stuck or something. Well, wobble it.

The Ghost busters did it. Oh, shit!

The hot plate.. The hot plate is.. because..

The hunger? Hu hum.

The mail doesn't stop! Okay, sorry, buddy.

The memoire thing is gone. You have to go back there.

The plan? Yeah

The pumpkin's innocent! Shoot the pumpkin.

the sexing from behind feel more classy. That's good.

the sores go away, and I walk out. Shut up.

The spy thing wasn't really working. Yeah? What way was that?

The taste! The taste, Charlie, I tried everything. I can't get the taste out of my mouth!

The three... Stooges.

There's pigeons in the bar. I feel...

They do it off screen. Off screen.

They do stink, don't they? They smell really bad.

They dress like this. No, British commoners

They rip the whole house down. Do you know how to build an entire house?

They won't even know. We'll be off the hook.

They're all lying! They're lying people!

thing a couple more times. Yeah, bro?

This changes everything. I need a ride home.

This doesn't seem to be the best... No. Guys, this is not working, okay?

This is cat food, Charlie. Dee, I can explain it, all right?

This is how people get caught. Ah, shit, you're right.

This is not a kidnapping. No!

This is stupid, Dee. Hey, Charlie, you are here.

This is the last one, dude. Shit! Really?

This is the place, huh? This is where I can find.

This is twisted. This is dark.

This is what we're going to do, okay, baby? Yeah.

This is wolf hair. Wolf air.

This is, uh... Go as wide as you can.

This one? Hu hum.

This whole thing was... We didn't have to do all the...

This'll give you deep wounds. Hold on a second, no!

Those are solutions to problems. Oh, my God!

Time to get up! Charlie! Oh, God!

tiny bit off base. Yeah, as you can see,

To become British? We gotta commit to the fop thing.

to get laid. Frank, shut up.

to him I think. He had a...

to the original plan. Ah, the generator.

Told me everything. You tortured somebody?

told through my erotic travels. Giddyup, man! That's amazing.

Totally right, dude. Great. On to the matter at hand.

Try some of that. Definitely.

Type, type, typing away. Don't mean to disturb ya.

Uh, but I haven't... That's okay.

Uh, we're doing bad stuff to the bad... Give me this.

Uh, yeah, I just had a heart attack

Um, not that excited. No, not that excited at all.

van before we got in? They're really heavy, Dee.

Wait, that's bullshit, bro. The nightman's a better role.

Wait, wait, wait, check his pulse. He doesn't have a head.

We bribe them. A good, old fashioned bribe.

We busted you! Caught!

We can't do this. No. Charlie, listen to me, listen to me good.

We could... Complicated stuff there.

We don't really want... Because we had a whole thing.

We got a problem. We did something.

We got to make an entrance. Oh, let's scare the shit out of them.

We have a graph. Yeah, check this out.

We just started. Yeah, we've been doing this for like 30 minutes.

We shave! Now, that's gonna be a problem, I laser.

We should probably look into that. We should do that.

We speak of revolution. Revolution?

We wanted to say good bye. Say good bye to her and or..

We were gonna have, we were just gonna come and have a bite a bit, I mean.. I don't..

We won't leave out any details. A lot more details.

We'd like to return some gas, please. Yeah. Don't worry, bro, got receipts.

We'll be covered. Okay, here we go.

We'll see about that. Well, we will.

We'll walk up, and I'll just be... That will help you focus.

We're capable of being civils, right? Let's just, you know...

We're doing him a favor. We're doing him a huge favor.

We're going to pay you. Oh, yeah. We gotta pay you.

We're going to solve the gas cris. Oh, good.

We're gonna haunt people. Whatever.

We're gonna haunt them. I'm sorry, I was thinking...

We're gonna have to do it. No, no!

We're gonna have to find a living human being. No, no, you know why? I'll tell you why.

We're haunting these bitches. Haunting's cool, man.

We're looking for models, right? Yeah.

We're not, Dee. I wanna just make sure.

We're screwing ourselves here, guys. Hold on, let's not freak out.

We're talking billboard ideas. Don't waste your time.

We've got to bow. Hold on.

Weird. Come into the office with me.

Well, hell, yeah. Oh, my God, I just realized something.

Well, I guess the hunt is all once bagan. Indeed, it is.

Well, I suppose we do some tea bag related. Hum

Well, I'm outta here. Fine. Fine. You leave.

Well, it was me first. But the point

Well, no for sure. I got a hot plate.

Well, that could be an issue. Well, no, no, no, no.

Well, what's Dee? She's the useless chick.

Well, when do you eat? I don't.

Well, why did it move?! Hey, guys!

Well, yeah, because I consider you that. I have to go!

Well, you enjoy yourselves, now. Thank you.

Were you guys humping? No!

Were you stalking me? Girlfriend, you're crazy.

What a jerk. I know, but watch this.

What a sonofabitch. That wasn't cool.

What are we doing here? This is the time of de day

What are we doing? What?

What are you doing with my cat?! Your cat?!

What are you doing, dude? What do you mean?

What are you doing, hmm? I'm pulling a wild card here, man, so...

What are you doing? I'm taking 'em because

What are you doing? I'm taking my dreams back.

What are you doing? Popping my pants off.

What are you doing? What are you doing?

What are you doing? What are you doing?

What are you guys doing? Frank is here to piss in the fountain.

What are you looking at? She doesn't understand what you're saying.

What are you talking about? But who versus?

What did I do? What did you do?

What did I do? You said their names.

What did you get? I bought a billboard.

What do you admit?! I admit anything you want to hear!

What I'd do to you. Boy, I need you, boy.

What in the hell is going on here? Who is this?

What is her problem? I don't know.

What is it? I'll tell you what it is, bitch.

What is that? Did you like that?

What is that? I don't know.

What should I sing? Uh, what's on the back there?

What the hell is that all about, man? I don't know.

What the hell is that? Mehar's cat. Diabetic.

What the hell? Yeah, you in hell, all right!

What the hell's going on? I don't know.

What would Ty Pennington do? What would Ty Pennington do?

What you doing, buddy? I wrote a musical.

What, the plates of shit? Somebody pooped the bed.

What? Be helpful

What? Beat his testicles!

What? I did 'em all.

What? I'm sorry.

What? It's not scary

What? Sinbad, and the other comedians

What? What?

What? What're you talking about?

What? Yeah.

What? Why? It's cool. She knows all the songs.

What?! Yeah.

What?! Charlie! Holy shit!

What's happening? It's really late, dude.

What's that? I got some dick in a movie theater

What's the pay? What?!

Whatever we want. Ooh, you guys.

Whatever you need, bud. You name it.

When are we gonna start? We're gonna start we're ready to start.

when he goes around in the world? He gets free food.

when I come to the fountain. Why?

Where are we gonna get a rug? We buy a big Oriental rug,

Where are you going, buddy? Where are you going?

Where is Dee? Admit it, Mac.

Where is that coming from? No, rifling fireballs around...

Where'd you get the money for this gas? Dee, will you shut up and let me continue?

Where'd you get your intel? I water boarded some guy.

Who else would be the troll? Oh, I like that.

who puts small.. Plates of ...

Who you looking for? Bill. Who's this?

Whoa! Hey! What the hell you doing?

Why are you smashing stuff? I smashed it.

Why did you do that? That's what YouTube video is.

Why do you have a spy? To spy the waitress.

Why going nuts with that? It's called progress, Dennis.

Why were you guys touching his dick? There wasn't enough tape and...

Why would I wear a condom...? Okay, I don't care. I don't care

Why, what's wrong with Steve Winwood? Yeah, man,

Why? Because I know you're gonna fail.

Why? Because we're gonna bang.

Wiggle it. Wiggle it. That's it. That's it. All right.

Wiggle the gas pedal. Guys, why aren't the brakes working?

Will you let me do the poppers? I just want it.

with Corman, and then that... Jesus Christ.

with that girly rock star's people. Bon Jovi?!

Wobble it? Yeah, wobble it back and forth.

Wu, don't get caught. Don't get caught.

Yeah, Hey, relax.

Yeah, dude. I got to be honest with you.

Yeah, especially Oriental rugs. No, no rugs.

Yeah, I guess so. Ok, ok, ok.

Yeah, I know. That is borderline ****.

Yeah, I thought it was some chick. Who are you talking to?

Yeah, I'll bet. What are we going to sing instead?

Yeah, I'm fine. I got it. You sure?

Yeah, is it ready? Yeah I think so.

Yeah, it's fun. It's funny.

Yeah, let's do it

Yeah, let's get it down, man. Let's take it down.

Yeah, man, and he's got great hair, too. Of course he's got great hair.

Yeah, man, twice. That's ****.

Yeah, ok, right. Oh, yeah, Deandra, you think I'm full of shit? Hu hum.

Yeah, ok. So stupid.

Yeah, shut up. Tell me what's going on!

Yeah, so it's not that guy. No, it has nothing to do with that.

Yeah, song. You want to sing a song.

Yeah, we would have to build a new... I can't build a whole house.

Yeah, well, it's great that you came. Well, you listed me as your emergency contact.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You son of a bitch.

Yeah, you do. Just shut up.

Yeah, you know what, put it down. Does he have any '80s?

Yeah! This is some sweet smut!

Yeah? Go, baby.

Yeah? Yeah.

Yeah? Huh? What?

Yeah? What's up? Dude, I realized something.

Yeah? You have it? It's heavy.

Yeah. Give me the gum, okay?

Yeah. I watch Extreme Home Makeover.

Yeah. We can't demolish the entire house.

Yeah. What'd you think?

Yeah. Which one of us do you want

Yeah. Yeah, my ass. Get out of here.

Yeah. You don't want to end up like

Yeah. You get to wear sweet clothes and get wasted all day.

Yeah. You're gonna tell me how it works?

Yeah. Not that one. No, not at all.

Yeah. Yeah, she's a witch. Yeah. I'm pretty sure.

Yees...! Good, good, good.

Yes, can I help you? Good, nice to meet you.

Yes, she does. Bite me, asshole.

Yes, that's a rule. Oh, yeah?!

Yes! But, I'm trying to disapprove it.

Yes! See, they get it.

Yes! Right? Yeah.

Yes! What is going on? Mr. Corman, why are they doing this?

Yes? Yes, yes.

Yes. All right, this is a great opportunity

Yes. Can I have it?

Yes. I think we have to be very careful

Yes. Okay, careful, watch it.

Yes. Shoot. All right.

Yesterday. Yesterday.

You and I are blood brothers. Oh, most definitely.

You are busted! We're busted?

You are catching all this, right? I got everything

You are such a bad hider. I'm a bad hider?

You are too much, huh? You're being a smart aleck.

You are. Glad your spirits are still up.

You can buy an old one... Okay, new to me.

You can cut glass with these bad boys. I know, right?

You can do it bigger? No, Charlie, let me...

You can't even help yourself, can you? Okay, fine, fine.

You can't get it out, right? Absolutely not.

You can't tell me what to do... You're still skipping the same line.

You canceled our insurance policy? What?

You do not **** him. He doesn't?

You don't have any friends. I have a ton of friends.

You don't have to do that. No, it's great bro.

You don't want to see it? I don't want to.

You get the house back. What the hell's a vision board?

You gonna perform? All right.

You gonna punk him like that? No no no!

You good? I'm fine.

You got it. I know.

you got to listen to it. I don't think I can.

You got to sleep with them? You got to, you got to.

You hang back. What? Me? Why?

You harbor patriots. Oh, whoops, no, no, no.

You have a cigarette? I hear Barney.

You just got fazed. This just in, Poo Poo Pants.

You know what I mean? Okay

You know what? I have backups. What is with her?

You know what? Let's just give this guy 15 bucks. I don't even know what to say.

You know, I got an insatiable hunger. Oh, I know what that hunger is, you know?

You know, you don't get it. Let's get the ale. The ale.

You know. Are you kidding me?

You let me take the lead, okay? Yeah. Okay.

You see? We complete it! Yeah!

You shit head. Hey, look on the bright side, Franklin.

You sound ridiculous, dude. No, I don't.

You spit in my face. Oh! Yep. Yep. There it is.

You think it's my dad? Of course it's your dad.

You think so? I do think so.

You turn it into a competition. That's bullshit,

You want to buy a fur? Yeah.

You want to have a smash off? A smash off?!

You wrote a book? It's more of a tale of redemption

You wrote a musical? Why, why did you do that?

You, too. You got a great shot.

You'd be willing to do that? Oh, yeah.

You'll just give me the girls? Absolutely.

You'll just give me the girls? Absolutely.

You're a dick! I know.

You're able to fall asleep. Why would I want to make myself

You're all out of time, bitch. Boom.

You're an idiot! Well, we'll see who's the idiot

You're dreaming. Yeah.

You're going to play the troll guy. I'm the troll guy?

You're gonna rope me and you're gonna harvest my organs. Relax, Cricket, relax, relax, take it easy.

You're in love with a young man. You wrote "boy".

You're in. Oh, yeah! Yes! Huh?

You're lying to me. I'm not lying to you.

You're my friend. I'm your friend.

You're not the decision making type. Exactly.

You're out of here, dude. I think so.

You're paying for that. She doesn't have to pay for that.

You're ready? The start is the same.

You're smoking now? Yeah, I'm smoking now.

You're so stupid! Well, thank you for the human meat, Frank.

You're still chewing it. I have to prove a point!

You're still talking about a coat? Absolutely!

You're taking 'em all at once? Yeah.

You're the looks. Yeah, of course I'm the looks but I was seeing myself as the brains and the looks.

You're welcome. Kind of don't know what else to say.

You're... you're done. You can't kick the foreman out.

You've got the wrong idea. That's really gross. Wow, you got a wrong idea about us.

your beard hair falls out, too. Are you sure?

Your dick. No, no, not his dick. His wallet.

Your hands are itchy? My hands are a little itchy.

Your paragon is failing us, man. It's a paradigm, but yeah.

Your wallet. Yep.

This gonna be fun. Yeah.

... sentences.

...ask for food or something.

...for a newcomer here tonight, Mr. Charlie Kelly!

...go to the police.

...having allowed myself to

...I was smitten.

...I'm gonna leave you alone for the rest of your life.

...so, you know, frankly, you don't even really have to pay us at all.

...that got me to the point of me getting the bandana.

...you have made me the happiest man alive!

'Cause clearly, you know, we can't...

'cause I can't handle your big, tough life? I will.

'Cause I could fire it right in your chest. 'Cause I got skills to do that.

'Cause I could hear you guys rustling around in the vents.

'cause I do drive a Range Rover.

'cause I don't want to get caught slipping in and out before the coitus.

'Cause I feel like I could be an asset to you as a secretary, and...

'cause I feel like that's what writers should drink.

'Cause I know what it means Totally and completely badass.

'cause I ran the numbers and I'm gonna need a butt load of money

'Cause I really, I've had enough of this dude.

'Cause I turned it off.

'Cause I've hurt before, you've hurt before, we all hurt.

'Cause it says we're supposed to do that at the end of the song,

'Cause she wants to bang in your bed.

'Cause that chick is the worst.

'Cause that is a great gun.

'Cause that would be...

'cause that's exact same plot.

'cause that's what a real best friend does.

'cause that's what, you know, that's what friends do:

'Cause there's going to be about 50 cats howling outside

'Cause those supplements are giving me the squirts like you would not believe.

'Cause we got to be very careful, this could be a very very messy situation.

'Cause we've already been fired.

'Cause when I call the cops on him, they'll come and find

'Cause you can stay with me.

'cause you're next.

'Dude, your balls totally rule'".

'Kay, so I want you to stay behind me.

"All right, Frank, I'll do it, only because I like you so much".

"Carol, I got to talk to you about Pepe."

"Day Bow Bow."

"Dear son, I asked you to leave me be...

"Don Johnson."

"eat your butt and his son's butt"

"For several years, I've been in complete charge of pretty much everything in my life."

"Having reviewed every bar in Philadelphia, I hereby

"Hello, I'd like to have some anonymous sex please."

"Hi, I'm Charlie. Frankie, I love these girls."

"Higher Love"? It's a classic.

"I felt reborn, baptized in erotic majesty."

"I have to go with my heart.

"I just got out of prison, and I'm heading to Tijuana."

"I removed my robe and stood before her..."

"I woke up in my neighbor's bed with a head wound,"

"jam a bunch of stuff into your butt," he was going to

"Little freak! I did it last time!"

"Male, 30, looking for Three's Company type deal.

"Oh, shit, buddy. I got to dig a little deeper."

"Okay, Frankie!" Somebody's coming.

"ordering supplies and taking care of business".

"Our eyes locked, our hands touched,

"P.S. : I still love you."

"Position available. Major sales corporation.

"**** you so hard the room would stink."

"S" you in your "A"s, don't wear "C"s, and "J" all over your "B"s.

"Salary and benefits".

"She was much, much older than me, but her breasts"

"The first thing I noticed about Paddy's Pub is its charm".

"There was an ominous feeling that you could get stabbed at

"Tiny boy, little boy, baby boy"?

"W" through "Z." You should be under "W," yeah?

"Waitress." Here we go.

"Waitress." Here we go.

"Waitress." One star. Not good.

"We thought you were just better for a different part."

"We're gonna have demented sex, right, Frank?"

"When I ordered a glass of wine, not only did the surly"

"your butts."

[intro music]

$6,000 on a camcorder.

$300,000 to buy... gasoline.