The IT Crowd (2006) - Season 1
The IT Crowd is a British television sitcom that premiered in 2006. Created by Graham Linehan, the series revolves around the misadventures of the IT department of Reynholm Industries, a fictional British corporation. With a perfect blend of humor, quirky characters, and absurd situations, The IT Crowd quickly gained a cult following and became a beloved comedy series. The main cast of The IT Crowd is led by three talented actors who bring each character to life with their brilliant comedic timing. Chris O'Dowd portrays Roy Trenneman, a slacker IT technician with a passion for video games and a lack of interest in actual work. Richard Ayoade plays Maurice Moss, an eccentric and socially awkward computer nerd who is oblivious to social norms. Lastly, Katherine Parkinson takes on the role of Jen Barber, the newly appointed head of the IT department who knows next to nothing about technology. Throughout Season 1, we follow the hilarious exploits of Roy, Moss, and Jen as they navigate their way through the absurd world of IT support. The office is filled with quirky characters, such as Denholm Reynholm, the eccentric and clueless CEO of Reynholm Industries, played by Chris Morris. Matt Berry delivers a memorable performance as Douglas Reynholm, Denholm's womanizing and inept son who takes over the company after his father's untimely demise. Other notable recurring characters include Richmond Avenal (Noel Fielding), a gothic IT technician hiding in the office basement, and the lovable and bumbling security guard, Philip (Jamie Michie). One of the strengths of The IT Crowd lies in its ability to expertly balance workplace humor with absurdity. The show cleverly highlights the contrast between the IT department and the rest of the office, where the tech-savvy characters find themselves in uncomfortable situations among the technologically challenged staff. From accidentally starting a fire during a fire drill to participating in an office quiz show gone wrong, Roy, Moss, and Jen find themselves in one hilarious debacle after another. The IT Crowd also excels at satirizing the corporate culture and the IT industry itself. The characters often find themselves dealing with bizarre and nonsensical requests from their colleagues, ranging from fixing a broken printer by just turning it off and on to troubleshooting imaginary computer problems. These situations are brilliantly executed and create moments of comedy gold. The show's theme song, "The IT Crowd Theme" by Sid The Sexist, perfectly captures the fun and quirky tone of the series. It sets the stage for the chaotic yet entertaining adventures the audience is about to witness. If you want to immerse yourself in the laughter-inducing world of The IT Crowd, you can play and download this iconic theme song, along with other memorable sounds from the show, here. The IT Crowd (2006) - Season 1 is an absolute treat for comedy enthusiasts. With its hilarious scripts, fantastic cast, and seamless blend of humor and absurdity, this cult hit has rightfully earned its place in the hearts of many fans. So sit back, relax, and enjoy a laugh-filled journey through the Silicon Valley of British comedy.
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The IT Crowd (2006) - Season 1

The IT Crowd is a British television sitcom that premiered in 2006. Created by Graham Linehan, the series revolves around the misadventures of the IT department of Reynholm Industries, a fictional British corporation. With a perfect blend of humor, quirky characters, and absurd situations, The IT Crowd quickly gained a cult following and became a beloved comedy series.

The main cast of The IT Crowd is led by three talented actors who bring each character to life with their brilliant comedic timing. Chris O'Dowd portrays Roy Trenneman, a slacker IT technician with a passion for video games and a lack of interest in actual work. Richard Ayoade plays Maurice Moss, an eccentric and socially awkward computer nerd who is oblivious to social norms. Lastly, Katherine Parkinson takes on the role of Jen Barber, the newly appointed head of the IT department who knows next to nothing about technology.

Throughout Season 1, we follow the hilarious exploits of Roy, Moss, and Jen as they navigate their way through the absurd world of IT support. The office is filled with quirky characters, such as Denholm Reynholm, the eccentric and clueless CEO of Reynholm Industries, played by Chris Morris. Matt Berry delivers a memorable performance as Douglas Reynholm, Denholm's womanizing and inept son who takes over the company after his father's untimely demise. Other notable recurring characters include Richmond Avenal (Noel Fielding), a gothic IT technician hiding in the office basement, and the lovable and bumbling security guard, Philip (Jamie Michie).

One of the strengths of The IT Crowd lies in its ability to expertly balance workplace humor with absurdity. The show cleverly highlights the contrast between the IT department and the rest of the office, where the tech-savvy characters find themselves in uncomfortable situations among the technologically challenged staff. From accidentally starting a fire during a fire drill to participating in an office quiz show gone wrong, Roy, Moss, and Jen find themselves in one hilarious debacle after another.

The IT Crowd also excels at satirizing the corporate culture and the IT industry itself. The characters often find themselves dealing with bizarre and nonsensical requests from their colleagues, ranging from fixing a broken printer by just turning it off and on to troubleshooting imaginary computer problems. These situations are brilliantly executed and create moments of comedy gold.

The show's theme song, "The IT Crowd Theme" by Sid The Sexist, perfectly captures the fun and quirky tone of the series. It sets the stage for the chaotic yet entertaining adventures the audience is about to witness. If you want to immerse yourself in the laughter-inducing world of The IT Crowd, you can play and download this iconic theme song, along with other memorable sounds from the show, here.

The IT Crowd (2006) - Season 1 is an absolute treat for comedy enthusiasts. With its hilarious scripts, fantastic cast, and seamless blend of humor and absurdity, this cult hit has rightfully earned its place in the hearts of many fans. So sit back, relax, and enjoy a laugh-filled journey through the Silicon Valley of British comedy.

The IT Crowd (2006) Season 4 The IT Crowd (2006) Season 2 The IT Crowd (2006) Season 3 The IT Crowd Japanese SFX Library Lordi "Hard Rock Hallelujah" The Killers Timebelle Shut down SFX Library Matt Berry I.T. Crowd Awellsound At The Door Negative Ultimate Matt Berry Noel Fielding's Luxury Comedy Season 1 💬 Matt Berry (What We Do in the Shadows, I… Shooow Deee Voooolumen Wihead Hitting Headboard The Big Fat Anniversary Quiz Heah.. Yeah It Sure Wil.. Ventilator SFX Library Crowd Collection You Can Do It Crowd ambience SFX Library Chawaii To Do The Luau Let It Ride Mike WiL Made-It 23 ft. Miley Cyrus, Wiz… The Meanest Of Times

A big girly night out!

A bit stress is all and... just fun and games.

A classified?

A Dr. Melfi to your Tony Soprano?

A few tips on how to manage stress?

A friendship which ended so suddenly,

A glass of water maybe.

A hammer.

A huge pair of Doc' Martins,

A lingerie catalogue for a Cathy Morgan Foreman.

A lot of sexy people not doing much work... and having affairs.

A muffin? How can you be hungry,

A people person like me

A plan? Let me put on my slightly larger glasses.

A planch for the computers?

A punchy character.

A really funny story,

A stress machine!

A war on disease!

Absolutely Roy!

Accounts!

Actually you know what?

Actually, do you have a card?

Actually, I don't think that's fair...

Actually, I'm gonna...

Actually, no, you were right. It was Mozart.

Adam saw greater things for me.

After another disappointing day.

After his father died. I don't think he ever fully recovered.

After what has been a momentous week for this company.

After... what I gather, was a rather sensational evening with Bill Crouse!

Ah it's not all that bad!

Ah, come on Roy! It's pretty bad...

Ah, thanks mom.

Ah! The bright side!

Ah! There it goes! Yes, raise up!

Air conditioning.

All because those two from accounts

All I was gonna say was...

All of the players running up...

All of them!

All right then, now you take care.

All right, let's have a look at you, you mad thing.

All right, sorry.

All right, thanks Denholm.

All right, yeah I will, yeah.

All right.

All right. Okay.

All the different kinds of women.

All... of that computer gobbledegook,

All... the way down to the basement.

Almost all of them work with computers.

Alone.

Alright, alright.

Although I should just say I'm not very good at lying.

Although that's just as exciting, I might even use these.

Always.

Amateur hour!

An e mail?! It's a fire! Where...

An in? No!

And a big card!

And believe you me, we will be there when you do!

And better looking drivers

And connect you up to the matrix?

And do it as a team!

And don't tell me you don't feel the same!

And even a little bit... well...

And even if they did go on,

And ever since then, whenever I go up,

And everyone has signed it!

And finally, last but not least...

And frightened a dog!

And he's got a... fire! Fire! Fire!

And help me out with my shoes!

And how come you never see Goths driving cars?

And huh, we were so drunk that we decided to hire prostitutes.

And I don't know what it means!

And I don't wanna go out with the biggest loser in England...

And I started crying like an actress!

And I still bet I'll get a bezillion replies.

And I think I should tell them, but often I just look away.

And I think you're ready now to do without our sessions.

And I want to limitate its influence in my life,

And if it's already off...

And in fact, everyone thinks you're so brilliant,

And it drives me up the wall.

And it was the "Do you want to phone a friend"...

And it'd be so easy, wouldn't it?

And it's all because of Aunt Irma.

And it's between me and the door.

And it's gonna go bang!

And it's not fair! It's not fair!

And just relax there.

And just walk away!

And leave me alone you goblin!

And listen Richmond, I've always wanted to know yeah,

And look out this window for a while.

And now you're running four feet in heaven...

And offered to come here and perform for us!

And one thing led to another and I just... stole it!

And running down it again. Such athleticism!

And she just left the room shouting: "the shoes!".

And that en likening of her became a friendship.

And that now, I have to spend a lot of time in therapy.

And that's not the only thing that's changing.

And that's really sweet, but,

And the other one's even worse.

And the real reason I terminated your therapy

And the whole rainforest dies.

And the, the floating head.

And then you nearly walked into the canal!

And there are other people here who need me more.

And they need a new manager.

And this helps cool it down.

And this one:

And we are perfectly fine down here, thank you very much,

And we'll see if she picks up on it

And we've never had these problems before.

And we've taken far too much of your time.

And when they arrived to the hotel, we were too scared to do anything,

And when you're talking about computers,

And while I was working on it, she rested a cup on my back.

And you are getting the prawn bites with spicy salsa.

And you don't know why you're here, or what you do.

And you don't want to end up in middle of invalid memory.

And you know how I feel about stress...

And you must be the woman he phoned! Brilliant!

And you'd have a bit of light in here.

And your big m... shoes!

And...

And... annoyed...

Any other ideas?

Anyhow, can't mourn all the ruddy day, so...

Anyone interested in coming along picking up

Anyone still experiencing stress at the end of the day...

Anyway, what were we talking about?

Anyway! I'd better fix this drawer.

Are as red as a fire engine!

Are you all right?

Are you lost? How can I help you? I'm Roy.

Are you sure it's okay to come out?

Are you sure you're a 5?

Are you sure?

As for you... you're fucked up!

As I was saying...

As long as no one goes through that door.

As soon as this meeting is over.

As the go to guy on anything

As you may or may not know, for ethical reasons,

Asking everyone's opinions.

At least, everything is back to normal.

At this dreadful hour

At this precise moment.

Basically, if you want to

Bastard!

Beaches... or... Dirty Dancing!

Because he was always talking about who he slept with.

Because I know what's good for you.

Because I said Jen was dead, that time.

Because I'm pregnant.

Because I'm wearing ear plugs.

Because it was around that time that

Because she's dead!

Because you know, jam lasts for ages...

Because you said on your CV you had a lot of experience with computers.

Because, um,

Because, you remember what happened last time, right?

Before I got the question wrong.

Behold!

Being involved in any stage of the food production process.

Besides it's a boring story.

Bill Crouse, he's saying he slept with you last night.

Bill, you dog!

Bill?

Bizarre in my life!

Blew my mind.

Bloody drawer!

Bloody good of you to come, thanks.

Bloody good service, wasn't it? Yeah?

Bloody hell!

Bloody lens.

Body, Doyle, Tiger, the Jewellery Man!

Both classic signs of stress!

Both here, and here...

Brilliant, excellent! It's a super machine!

Brilliant!

Brilliant! Same thing I..

Brilliant.

Bring it down! Just bring it down.

Broken down!

Busy!

But all women just want bastards.

But for the last few months,

But he's been under there too long for reasonable explanation.

But how?

But how?!

But I can learn.

But I found the best thing to do with the new employee

But I have to say thank you to a few people

But I met him there by the lift, and he just went... mental!

But I swear to God that there's nothing to it in my case!

But I thought you didn't want to go.

But I threw away my other shoes, what am I supposed to wear?

But I wasn't informed of any changes to this department.

But I'm having to do this in the toilet of my mom's house.

But I'm not gonna tell you when...

But I've been feeling depressed!

But it all changed.

But it doesn't mean you have to live like animals, you know...

But it's actually a very delicate ecosystem.

But Jonathan Miller over here.

But nonetheless, go ahead! Thank you very much!

But now...

But Roy is not a desk rabbit, he's my best friend.

But she can't see past a little bit of shit on my forehead!

But she said I could come out.

But something was wrong.

But that's probably going to be

But that's stealing!

But the rainforest and...

But this has been brilliant.

But we did have to pay for all the rides.

But we're on the phone now.

But when I have the baby,

But when we notice this, and believe me we will notice this,

But why can it wait? She probably needs to get on,

But you can't even tell us...

But you cannot tell the entire I.T. community

But, I've just received a telephone call,

But...

But... you did the work!

By jumping to conclusions, so I've sent an e mail out

By the lack of faith you both display.

Bye Jen, see you.

Bye, Small Paul!

Call me Denholm!

Can I ask you two a question?

Can we just move on?

Can you get me his address?

Can't even find a bloody pen in here!

Can't Jen, trust me.

Case closed!

Cathy Morgan Foreman, who is Cathy Morgan Foreman?

Cathy works in the department of Shulupust.

Cathy works in...

Champagne...

Changed my life.

Cheers.

Cheese string?

Chris Tarrant, hello!

Clap him man!

Classical music is the extraordinary answer to that question.

Clicking... double clicking...

Come here! Come here!

Come in!

Come on you crazy bitch!

Come on, come on Ritchley... Street, Ritchley Street.

Come on, get brush! Come on!

Come on, Moss! We need to get to work.

Come on!

Come on! It's my turn with the bottle.

Come on! No one would use that sort of information against us.

Come on.

Come on. Come on fellow.

Come on. Get your money ready. 20 pounds.

Come on. How much?

Come, Moss. Don't be silly.

Completely.

Computer is broken!

Computer system!

Computer... thing you know, e mails...

Computers! Computers!

Correct.

Could I try on your new glasses?

Could I, say a few words?

Could we please concentrate on what's important,

Could you deal with it? I just hate spiders.

Could you have a word with Moss and Roy?

Could you have a word?

Cradle of Filth are actually

Cradle of Filth, I presume that's a band.

Damn it Roy! I never thought it would come to this!

Daniel, you're still here.

Daniel...

Daniel's doing very well although he has just used his 50/50.

Dark thoughts?

Darkness... night...

Das haus die Frau...

Dawn! Get onto recruitment.

Dear...

Define "hit it off"?

Demands a little more attention than my feet, don't you?

Denholm's just thanked me for Project Iccarus

Derk, Banhead and Doodles proved them wrong!

Did anybody get her number?

Did she continue talking to you once you'd fixed her computer?

Did you and her... hit it off?

Did you ear anyone laughing?

Did you get it fixed?

Did you have a nice week end?

Did you notice how she didn't even get excited

Did you see "I'm a Millionaire" last night?

Did you see that look?

Did you tell everyone I was dead?

Did you use a soldering iron to make that stress machine?

Didn't know what a stress machine was this morning and now we have 2 of them.

Didn't... Are you... I thought you were sick or something.

Distant.

Do I amaze you?

Do these me make look like a bastard?

Do we have PMT?

Do what you need and just go.

Do you always wear shades?

Do you feel stress now, Jen?

Do you feel stressed Jen? Jen? Jen?

Do you know one woman who isn't obsessed with shoes?

Do you mean the story when I lost my glasses?

Do you not like Aunt Irma? I've got...

Do you remember me? Can I have a go in your machine now?

Do you remember the Internet at this speed?

Do you think they did that to him?

Do you wanna come and join me?

Do you want me to connect up your phone?

Does Aunt Irma visit on the week end?

Does he?

Does that make you feel stressed?

Doesn't he realise that lying can lead to very serious ramifications?

Don't be silly you never dist

Don't be silly.

Don't be stupid, it's cold. Taxi!

Don't break down, you bitch!

Don't clog it up like you usually do.

Don't forget to flush the toilet

Don't get on her nerves.

Don't let me disturb you, I just wanted to come

Don't let me push you away!

Don't step on it.

Don't use my name to start leching around on 5th.

Don't worry, I wasn't about to look foolish

Don't worry, I'm not really going to ask myself any questions.

Don't worry, though. I'm sitting on the toilet but I'm not using it.

Don't you dare going too fast, no!

Double flash.

Dracula...

Due to the increased interconnectivity

Eight?

El casa del signorita...

Elton John and told him about her,

Elton John is going to sing a beautiful song about death.

Empty!

Escort them from the premises.

Even the tiniest bit,

Events seem to be taking a downward turn.

Ever since they got famous, they've been at each other's throats.

Every department is working at three times usual speed...

Every time I used to phone I.T. in my last job

Everybody else is there, and they did nothing

Everyone except muggins here.

Everyone is having having fun, fun, fun.

Everyone knows that a certain Mr. Moss might be looking for his cup...

Everyone needs a place to come to be alone.

Everyone on floor 4 is fired.

Everything is connected.

Evidently not.

Except that we listen to Cradle of Filth.

Excrement, it was chocolate.

Excuse me.

Fancy to dance.

Feelings towards you.

Fine.

Fire!

Fire...

First thing tomorrow.

Flash.

Floor 34.

For God's sake!

For not acting like a team!

For starters, yes.

For your information, I do not lech

From the moment I saw him at the funeral,

From today, dialling 999 won't get you the emergency services.

Fuck!

Funniest thing I've seen in ages.

Gandhi?

Get a bike!

Get a clown over here, please!

Get back to your room!

Get it clean, you'll have some light in here.

Get off me! Get...

Get out of the lift...

Get up there now, please.

Girl on fifth...

Give us a look at the picture then.

Glenn Close! Sheila Riston!

Go on! Break something!

Go on! Stamp your feet!

Go on.

Go to your office, and wait for me.

Goat's cheese salad?

God bless them! What would we do without though?

God, I miss Jen!

God, sorry Richmond, sorry. I always forget you work here.

God! Dear God!

God! I hope he doesn't come in again!

God! I was really looking forward to that, you know.

God! I'm a bastard!

Goddamme! Ladies!

Godzilla!

Good bye!

Good lech?

Good luck!

Good morning!

Good night!

Good people.

Good, well Moss...

Good!

Goodbye, Jen.

Google our names!

Gosh, it's very cold in here, isn't it?

Got a little bit there!

Great sir, thank you. OK. Where am I going?

Great!

Great.

Guess who was on it last night!

Guys, come on! You're fighting!

Guys! You gonna have to...

Hang on, guys.

Hard to get your head round, you know?

Harm with the self.

Harmony! What harmony?

Has it got to that part with the boatman?

Has this ever happened to you?

Have a bath?

Have a bath?!

Have you caught it yet?

Have you seen her baby?

Have you tried forcing an unexpected reboot?

Have you tried sticking it up your arse?

Have you tried turning it off and on again?

Haven't you got it yet?

He asked me out... on the show...

He caught me by surprise.

He dropped everything,

He feels like... Godzilla!

He is a foolish boy!

He is Europe's leading stress expert.

He loves declaring war!

He must be!

He obviously hasn't told you about the funeral.

He once ate a copy of Loaded for a bet.

He seems really nice.

He think you're dead,

He wants to see you.

He was the last person to sleep with her.

He'll realise in a second...

He's asked me to ask you a question.

He's building up to us!

He's not horrible, he's lovely! He's a lovely little monkey!

He's not in his room, he's supposed to be in his room.

He's on a very brief personal call right now.

He's saying what?

He's supposed to be in his room.

He's the one you should be angry at!

Head wound!

Hello computer!

Hello Denholm.

Hello I.T.?

Hello Maurice.

Hello Richmond.

Hello there little lady!

Hello there, Jen!

Hello there!

Hello there.

Hello, Cathy!

Hello, Daniel! I mean, hello.

Hello, Daniel.

Hello, I.T., have you tried turning it off and on again?

Hello, I.T.?

Hello, IT! .

Hello, IT...

Hello, Judy?

Hello, Security?

Hello, Small Pall!

Hello!

Hello! Hello!

Hello?

Hello? Hello?

Hello? I.T.,

Hello? I've had a bit of a tumble...

Hello? Is this the emergency services?

Hello.

Hello. I was just wondering...

Hello...

Hello... Hello computer...

Help me get my shoes on before Denholm comes!

Help me get my shoes on! I gotta get my shoes on!

Her words the other day, moved me deeply.

Here it comes.

Here we are!

Here we go.

Here you can have your 20 back.

Here.

Here's me saying some pretty important stuff

Here's me with a graph.

Hey guys!

Hey you!

Hey, back off, bastard! This lady's busy!

Hey, I've had a few girlfriends. I'm not completely oblivious!

Hey, Moss.

Hey, this is fun.

Hey, um, what was the name of that girl,

Hey!

Hey! Bit more careful with the clown shoe there, Mister.

Hey! Hello.

Hey! What's going on?

Hey...

Hi Jen. I'm just enjoying this cup of tea.

Hi, girls.

Hi, uh, something's wrong with my computer.

Hi!

Hi! Is... Roy around?

Hide the stress machine!

His eyes?

Hiya!

Hope this doesn't embarrass you Jen,

How about that cup of tea now?

How about that then?

How are things?

How are you gonna tell your children?

How are you?

How big are the girls?

How big is... Whoa! Hey now!

How can I help?

How can you fail to mention...

How can you two live like this?

How could I talk about all that computer stuff,

How dare you?!

How did she hear about this?

How did you even hear about this, mom?

How do you know about this site?

How exciting!

How hard is it to remember 911?

How is my soldier?

How nice is this?

How will you prove it to me, Roy?

How would I get on her nerves?

How would I go about doing that?

How you doing Jen?

How...

How... how did you get the stress machine Roy?

How's anyone supposed to know it's yours?

Hyena screeching!

I actually haven't had a proper go yet.

I actually recommend my good friend Roy there

I agree, yeah.

I am a complete tool.

I am a giddy goat!

I am a man! He's a man! We're men!

I am declaring war!

I am so.

I am sorry that my gift...

I asked her out once,

I basically live on sugar

I believe Mr. Renholm has a few words.

I bet he declares war on something!

I can feel the heel going into the shoe.

I can just hear her now...

I can see that got your attention.

I can't be done! You're crazy!

I can't believe he lied like that.

I can't believe I'd never seen "Steel Magnolias"!

I can't believe there's a psychiatrist in the building.

I can't believe you want me back.

I can't explain it.

I can't go to prison Roy!

I cannot believe you're going to tell on me.

I cost 31,000 pounds.

I could have saved you the trouble.

I could just kill myself.

I could tell there was something different.

I couldn't be better, I've just won Employee of the Month.

I couldn't put my finger on it

I cycle to work... everyday!

I did say that on my CV, yes.

I did too.

I didn't do anything, I don't know why I'm down here.

I didn't even know she was pregnant.

I didn't even know Smarties made a cereal.

I didn't even know they had Employee of the Month here.

I didn't know there were anyone else down here.

I didn't!

I do not think that you are suicidal.

I don't believe it!

I don't care!

I don't know any of these stuff even does.

I don't know anything about computers, I mean...

I don't know how it got there but uh...

I don't know if it's the loss of blood

I don't know their names.

I don't know what happened.

I don't know what to say really it's fun...

I don't know which one to watch either!

I don't know why they just couldn't keep it as it was!

I don't know, I feel weird.

I don't know!

I don't know! Use your womanly ways!

I don't know.

I don't know... I don't know... it...

I don't like goat's anything!

I don't like goats...

I don't really like sharing.

I don't really think the bet proved anything. Taxi!

I don't see why things can't get back to the way they were.

I don't think he likes me now.

I don't think I'd flourish in a prison environment.

I don't think that's Elton John.

I don't think you're a bastard at all.

I don't understand why they've done this?

I don't wanna be rude or anything

I even love saying the word "team".

I feel delicate.

I feel like I'm on top of the world.

I feel ridiculous even saying it but...

I felt I should warn you.

I forgot to turn this thing on.

I get that, don't you?

I got the child edition and the adult edition

I guess this is "arrivederci".

I hate it when people don't listen to me!

I hate Jamie Cullum.

I hate to generalize, you know that.

I hate to remind everyone but I've just destroyed a merger

I have a dinner date with that man.

I have a little more class than that, thank you very much.

I have invited Dr. Julian Holmes

I have lots of experience with the whole...

I have to hack into his private company account,

I have to say I feel a little bit insulted

I have to tell you I've a little confession to make.

I have to tell you something.

I have to.

I haven't the heart to move them.

I heard it was some bad tapas.

I hope I'm not in any danger.

I just came in for a little chat.

I just can't believe it!

I just can't get over it.

I just don't know what to say.

I just got a big load of flowers,

I just need to take my shoes off.

I just realised that was my mother.

I just... I really need to get drunk.

I knew it.

I know her.

I know it's terrible, but,

I know that that's what you psychiatrists think!

I know what this is. It's the new Harry Potter.

I know you wanna party!

I know, I know, I'm joking, I'm fine!

I know, terrible, terrible thing.

I know! Just stop doing this! You're always doing this!

I know! Yep.

I know... Apparently, she was pretty hard stuff!

I left Moss and Richmond in charge.

I lie and I lie and...

I lie!

I lie...

I looked down and saw that it was my father!

I love the way the smoke seems to be coming off the top of it.

I mean fire!

I mean for a start you could clean that window

I mean I know nobody comes down here,

I mean look at that CD tray.

I mean the fire incident! Of course I mean the fire incident!

I mean what was she thinking?

I mean,

I mean, her last boyfriend was Simon from 3rd.

I mean, how did that even happen?

I mean, when I was her age,

I mean...

I mean... I had a dream that I was pregnant.

I met Richmond.

I might as well pack up and go home.

I myself have been subject to some terrible rages.

I myself, have been subject to some...

I need a felt tip pen, and some paper.

I need a good restaurant.

I need to attend to.

I now know that treating someone differently

I now try not to go at home, now.

I often work at nights so, perhaps that's why you haven't seen me.

I pop out occasionally when I have to get supplies.

I really am losing quite a lot of blood!

I really envy women with dainty feet.

I said why we don't go out with the I.T. guys more often?

I save it up!

I see, well let's move on...

I see.

I see...

I shouldn't have used the word "plan"!

I stall... How?

I startled you a bit.

I suppose I'll get it! No, that is not a phone.

I think a fire in the office

I think I'm ugly.

I think if your date proved anything, Roy,

I think she's my girlfriend now.

I think that we have plenty of light...

I think that you should ask him about the funeral.

I think you're gonna enjoy it.

I think you've downed the corner.

I think.

I thought it was just the three of us.

I thought you said it was chocolate.

I thought you said you'd take him to one of your favourite restaurants.

I thought you were on the phone!

I told a whopper and...

I told you, stop calling me at work!

I truly liked Jen.

I wanted to tell you in the restaurant but...

I was a perfect gentleman last night from beginning to end

I was just wondering,

I was lucky I discovered them when I did!

I was one of Reynholm Industries' top guys.

I was playing a joke. It was chocolate.

I was the last person to sleep with her.

I was thinking of a different incident. The one on the golf course.

I was thinking, afterwards,

I will go up just to shut you up.

I will! I will! I'm sorry!

I won't keep her, I want to give her these.

I won't.

I wonder why it didn't work...

I would be too, if we could get some service round here!

I would honestly rather sleep with a rat.

I would like a go, and I think

I would love to stay and chat,

I would not be standing up here today

I would...

I... don't really know.

I.T.

I.T. guys! Can we?!

I'd be delighted!

I'd best investigate.

I'd love that actually.

I'd love to, Jen, but I'm actually helping Roy at the moment.

I'd quite fancy a cup of tea though.

I'd say we're on a by weekly beatings.

I'd... really ought to...

I'll be in there in a minute to check up on you!

I'll be wondering about that all night!

I'll get help...

I'll give that a go.

I'll have... just this off.

I'll hold the fort.

I'll just put this over here, with the rest...

I'll just walk away!

I'll just walk you to the door.

I'll level with you Roy.

I'll make sure that Cathy gets it.

I'll never forget the first time I heard them.

I'll pay.

I'll prove it to you.

I'll put a... I'll put on a classified ad online.

I'll tell for why.

I'll tell you what.

I'll tell you.

I'll thank you to keep out of this Jen.

I'm a 32 year old IT man who works in a basement.

I'm a doctor with a cure.

I'm a loner all right.

I'm a man! We're men!

I'm a member.

I'm a people person and...

I'm a restaurant person.

I'm a very popular person usually.

I'm absolutely useless to you.

I'm afraid Jen can't see you at the moment.

I'm always lying

I'm at the end of my flipping tether!

I'm closed for maintenance.

I'm fine! Will you stop getting at me? You're always getting at me!

I'm flabbergasted.

I'm glad the toilet guys got the note, though.

I'm going for a coffee, anyone wants anything?

I'm going in.

I'm going to ask myself a very personal question.

I'm gonna ask you a very personal question.

I'm gonna burst it.

I'm gonna go up and thank everybody right now.

I'm gonna have a little lie down.

I'm gonna need a volunteer.

I'm gonna take you to one of my favourite restaurants.

I'm great, thanks. How are you?

I'm great.

I'm just a little bit...

I'm just a...

I'm just gonna get another box of wine!

I'm just looking for Jen.

I'm just working on a very simple piece of programming code.

I'm late for golf!

I'm never lucky enough to get a bargain myself.

I'm not crying! You're crying!

I'm not getting at you! Stop shouting at me!

I'm not going on the couch?

I'm not here because... I want to be here.

I'm not overly fond of them myself there, Jen.

I'm not wearing make up!

I'm required not to have any...

I'm Roy!

I'm sick of my things going walk about.

I'm so sorry.

I'm so, I'm so sorry. I'm sorry. I'm just...

I'm sorry, are you from the past?!

I'm sorry, myself and Morris were just engaged

I'm sorry.

I'm standing over here!

I'm still talking, aren't I?

I'm talking about the fire!

I'm talking, aren't I?

I'm the new head of this department.

I'm the one who gets in trouble.

I'm the one whose name is on the line...

I'm the one you gets the complaints.

I'm very good at lying.

I'm... I'm stealing food from this machine.

I'm... really looking forward to...

I've been developing some

I've been having dark thoughts.

I've been speaking,

I've clearly gotten you over excited!

I've fallen to the Communists!

I've got an aunt like that!

I've got Aunt Irma visiting.

I've got some good news.

I've got tears in my eyes.

I've got that date tonight, she's expecting a monster.

I've made you a cup of tea.

I've never heard anything so...

I've no idea.

I've sent an e mail. It's fine!

I've sent it to everyone in my address book.

I've taken care of it.

I've tried turning it off and on again and nothing happened.

I've... I've been swearing like a flipping docker!

Ideas are coming! Things are happening here!

If anyone was ever rude to me, I used to carry their food around in my trousers.

If he calls,

If he comes by...

If I... just... thinking about it now, I realise I'm...

If I'm not here tomorrow, I want you to call the police.

If it wasn't for so many things but, not least,

If my date last night proved anything, it's that you, ladies,

If Paul hadn't been so quick on the profanity buzzer.

If that Judy woman comes down, I don't work here,

If the needle goes beyond here...

If there were such a thing as a drudgen,

If things ever got on top of you,

If we can just calm her down then...

If you need anything done to your computer,

If you were a murderer, what would your nickname be?

If you're coming, can you just bloody hurry up!

In a boardroom, I was a wizard.

In a tapas restaurant, he doesn't like sharing.

In fact they're the most beautiful shoes I've ever seen but...

In fact, I've changed my mind about the whole thing.

In Hamburg, a group of software developers

In my strategy meetings,

In quite a serious discussion about books and such.

In Tokyo, two games designers

Indeed he was, sir.

Into going out with me and this happens.

Is extremely thick and heavy sorts.

Is it 'cos we spoke on the phone earlier?

Is it a PC or a Mac?

Is it definitely plugged in?

Is it good that it's doing that?

Is Jen is her office?

Is nobody else going to get the phone?

Is registered very strongly on the display.

Is Roy off the phone yet? The spider is now upon my person.

Is this my office?

Is to size them up with a long hard stare.

Isn't that great?

Isn't that important,

It can wait.

It does that sometimes.

It doesn't matter! He won't know what it is!

It got me through some pretty bleak times.

It got on my fingers and then I must have...

It has to go around. She must have a shite nose.

It is a magnificent symbol of our new merger.

It isn't funny though.

It might be something you say... or something you do!

It might just take a little while to get the pitch right on the voice

It might not happen, okay? But hopefully it will.

It might take some time.

It seemed like these days would last forever.

It sounds horrible, but it's actually quite beautiful.

It sounds like you two had a good relationship at one point.

It started with "shut up".

It was all very romantic.

It was chocolate. It was chocolate.

It was good to have the Filth to come home to

It was her!

It was the only thing that I asked you!

It was very dangerous and someone nearly died!

It was.

It wasn't. It was...

It would have been even worse

It would have been if I'd married him, Moss.

It... a good time never came up and I...

It's a bit sexist, isn't it?

It's a bucket of fried chicken.

It's a good couple of hours before someone got to me.

It's a kind of planch.

It's a one way ticket to slammer town for us Roy.

It's all about body fluids with you, isn't it?

It's all right for you two.

It's all stress,

It's almost as if she doesn't know anything about computers.

It's because everyone thinks you're brilliant!

It's been there forever.

It's bloody awful!

It's boring, she won't tell anyone.

It's chocolate spread.

It's chocolate!

It's Cradle of Filth.

It's embarrassing being thanked.

It's high tide...

It's Jen!

It's just a boring old store room, that's all.

It's just a spider. It's fine.

It's just a store room where we keep the snibbits.

It's just not true.

It's just that you...

It's just... I've never been very good at judging the scale

It's just... It's not... Sorry, it's just not appropriate at the moment.

It's like going on holiday!

It's like someone's killing a cat in here!

It's like the rainforest.

It's like they're pally wally

It's like you're in a trance!

It's my dessert.

It's my term for... my time of the month...

It's no use being womanly with me Jen!

It's not a problem. I won't take any time.

It's not for me to say Denholm, but

It's not going on!

It's not literally a cradle of filth?

It's not shit!

It's not true!

It's not very distinctive, is it?

It's obvious you are going mad.

It's off...

It's on my fingers.

It's on the base, Roy.

It's one of us! Certainly not her!

It's quite a long story actually.

It's raining! Please, let me in!

It's security.

It's so disgusting in here.

It's so ironic but this entire situation has been quite stressful.

It's so poultry in comparison.

It's spoiled for the rest of us.

It's terrible, it's just terrible!

It's that women like men without poo on their foreheads.

It's the A Team.

It's the scientific breakthrough of the afternoon.

It's the talk of the office.

It's the worst night of my life!

It's too much sugar, that's all!

It's typical.

It's working. I was just talking to Denholm.

It's..

Jen could you just get the door for me there?

Jen the next voice you hear is gonna be Daniel's...

Jen,

Jen, it's okay, I've got it. Don't worry about it.

Jen, what about you?

Jen!

Jen! Does it?

Jen! Jen! Do you?!

Jen? Hello, it's Chris Tarrant from "Who Wants to be a Millionaire?"

Jen?!

Jen... Jen, it's exciting!

Jiminy!

Jones!

Judy, the battery of my phone is...

Judy?

Just a girl on four.

Just a lonely loner walking a lonely road.

Just a second...

Just a simple statement like that

Just because of the colour of their skin is wrong.

Just come in.

Just don't let him in here under any circumstances.

Just don't like him.

Just down angle a bit more...

Just get rid of her!

Just give me a buzz, on me phone. It's my mobile phone, so

Just give me a call, okay?

Just gone.

Just had enough of everything and wanted to go to the seaside.

Just hold your head back.

Just lean in with the shoe. Lean in...

Just shut you up.

Just sort of stay away from this whole area,

Just take my card.

Just tell him I'm busy!

Just tell him something.

Just to check that there are no differences in the text.

Just twelve hours ago...

Just what we need!

Just...

Just... I'm really... not great to be around, so

Just... just...

Keeps these things cool.

La maison... de la femme...

Lean in!

Leave me now, I would be alone.

Leaving message, funny message,

Let me guess...

Let me in! Let me in Bill!

Let me show you what stress can do.

Let's get this over with.

Let's move on!

Light to be doing fine!

Like I remember!

Like what?

Like... in the kitchen area.

Listen Moss, you're not going to Court, yeah?

Listen, I'm really sorry about your hand.

Listen, if I needed to get out of the country, very, very cheaply,

Listen, what are you doing tonight?

Listen, you have to be home between 8 and 9 tonight, are you gonna be home?

Listen...

Literally.

Lonely loner

Look at me! Yeah! Look at me!

Look at that!

Look at that! Brilliant!

Look at that! So smooth!

Look at you! My I.T. Team.

Look there's more than that: me and this girl,

Look what you did!

Look, I know that normally this would be very funny

Look, I know that the place looks like a bit of a mess,

Look, I know that you wanna make your mark down here and,

Look, she could look under there any minute.

Look, the nature of the things

Look, why can't I go in?

Look!

Look! I told you she's busy!

Look...

Looking for an in, aren't we?

Lots of friendly faces having fun, fun, fun.

Lots of nice looking girls on fifth.

Lover.

Make up your mind!

Many people come down here to visit!

Maybe I could help with this. You know, I mean...

Maybe if he likes the food, he won't beat me to death with a shoe.

Maybe it's all this stuff that you both eat.

Maybe not the best time to mention it, but also you owe me 20 quids.

Maybe you'd like to come back to my place?

Maybe, yeah!

Maybe?

Mayhem!

Mean they're not just the emergency services,

Messijoes.

Met Dr. Holmes by the lift.

Mick Hucknall.

Might want to play a bit hard to get.

Mine doesn't look any good now.

Mine would be "The Gardener",

MIO (My Input Output)

Mom?

Mom?!

More...

Moss and Roy.

Moss,

Moss!

Moss! Do you have the hammer?

Moss! It's not like you to use that sort of language!

Moss! Listen, I think you're fine

Moss! Moss!

Moss! Over here!

Moss?

Moss... Moss, there's a spider in my office.

Mosse's e mail's spreading like a virus!

Mozart, Beethoven, 50/50 ain't it?

Muffin.

Must have gone home.

My bollocks?!

My boss has assigned me to any work you might want done...

My God, okay, I'm... Right.

My God!

My God! And you said they weren't nice here!

My milky lens has popped out.

My mother? What if it had two heads?

My name is Maurice Moss. Or Moss for short.

Nice and beautiful Jen!

Nice atmosphere. Food's great.

Nice atmosphere. Food's great. It's got a bit of an edge.

Nice eyes too.

Nice hair so far.

Nice scarf.

Nice screensaver!

Nice!

Nicer ambulances, faster response times,

No don't, don't! Don't hit him!

No no! Hold on now!

No no. I don't like that. Don't do it again.

No problem at all Cathy Morgan Foreman.

No reason.

No you're right. Of course it is.

No, after.

No, but I only know one woman.

No, but... OK.

No, he changed.

No, he has a new cup.

No, I really don't want the rainforest to die.

No, I'm relationship manager.

No, it's unusual.

No, Maurice. Not today.

No, Moss! Listen to me.

No, no of course, of course not.

No, no, I was doing Roy.

No, no, no, no! Got them in a sale.

No, no, no... No, they've been fine so far.

No, no, no... No.

No, no, that's the music you hear when it comes on.

No, no, the other one. Bono.

No, no!

No, no! But that... that... don't be offended by that.

No, no! Don't breakdown!

No, no! I'm a General! And it's still a war!

No, no! There you go!

No, no. It's silly.

No, not on clothes!

No, sorry. Could you run that part to me again?

No, thanks.

No, that's the music you hear when...

No, that's what I'm saying.

No, there isn't!

No, there you go, I just heard it come on.

No, they brought it in just for you.

No, you don't understand.

No, you're never coming in!

No, you're right! We shouldn't be doing this!

No!

No! Don't do that!

No! It was heart warming!

No! No, that's bad!

No! Spanish? It's English. Messijoes.

No! What am I talking about?! I'm a man! We're men!

No? Are you sure?

No? Okay, bye!

No.

No. Chill out!

No. No, no, no. Who does this remind you of, yeah?

No. That's too formal.

No...

No... I have a new cup.

No... You know what? We should leave, now, because

No...?

Not as good as the one in the stress class.

Not brilliant.

Not how is she doing, what is she doing?

Not me! I'm insignificant!

Not my usual cheery self at all!

Not necessarily.

Not not... not that I would want to have sex with her...

Not quite, Jen.

Not that monkey!

Not the face!!

Not working out?

Nothing for a while.

Nothing.

Nothing...

Notice anything new about Moss?

Notice anything?

Now get in there, and do some work, to do with computers!

Now I don't know if this is exciting or not...

Now I have to go on a date with him.

Now let me fill you in on what's happening.

Now let's see what we have here.

Now that I don't have to stay in that room.

Now that's a good looking woman.

Now the money that Daniel lost wasn't really yours, was it?

Now, here's Daniel. Daniel, you got 30 seconds.

Now, I can't read it...

Now, my type...

Now, wait a second! They would, wouldn't they? Oh no!

Number 2s, leave me alone!

Of course before! Why would I do it after?

Of course it is! I've been feeling very gloomy all day!

Of course we're not going to the "thank you" party!

Of course.

Of our...

Of the fire.

Oh by the way, guys, if you need any help with any more spiders,

Oh come on! She's a receptionist, she'd hardly gossip.

Oh come on. What went on in there?

Oh dear, oh Lord!

Oh dear.

Oh don't blame me!

Oh for God's sake! Now my car is bloody open

Oh four! I mean five!

Oh God, have you seen this? What's happening?

Oh God, my throat hurts.

Oh God, you should have seen him with the waiters.

Oh God, you're just like the rest of them,

Oh God!

Oh God! All right,

Oh God! Oh God!

Oh hey! But you know what we should do?

Oh I only posted it about an hour ago.

Oh I... couldn't help noticing that you're bleeding.

Oh I'm fairly sure I did!

Oh I'm in trouble! I'm in real trouble!

Oh Jesus!

Oh Jesus! Will you please do something about that poster?

Oh look! It seems to have left of its own volition.

Oh Lord!

Oh my appointment. I've got to go and see the psychiatrist.

Oh my God it hurts so much!

Oh my God, brilliant! More money gone!

Oh my God, look!

Oh my God, no!

Oh my God, oh my God!

Oh my God, this is so... so lovely.

Oh my God, you're crying?

Oh my God!

Oh my God! Before you brought it to their table?

Oh my God! How many entries do they have?

Oh my God! I didn't!

Oh my God! It's good, isn't it?

Oh my God! Oh my God!

Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh my God!

Oh my God! What did we write again?

Oh my God.

Oh my good gracious me, look at that!

Oh my goodness! What happened to your face?

Oh my...

Oh no, this is wrong.

Oh no!

Oh no! I'm sorry!

Oh No! No, oh Dear, thanks.

Oh no. That would be horrible.

Oh quick! No, no! Quick, no!

Oh really? Why?

Oh really? Yes!

Oh right, do you know a lot about classical music?

Oh right. That is a bit frightening!

Oh stop it. You're exaggerating.

Oh stop shouting at her! You're always shouting at her

Oh well, yes, that's... That's clearly terrific.

Oh well. I suppose it's not quite so bad

Oh yeah, fire sorry! I always get mixed up between golf and fire.

Oh yeah, I used to work as a waiter.

Oh yeah! The Jap loves it!

Oh yeah. Yeah. That'll be it.

Oh yes, I suggest I ask Dr. Mendall to join us.

Oh you know.

Oh you signed it from both of us!

Oh you're not! You're nothing! But I f...

Oh your hair looks great!

Oh, a job?

Oh, actually, I think it's just popped round the back.

Oh, and, just to say,

Oh, be a man, Moss!

Oh, Beaches! No! Dirty Dancing!

Oh, by the way, Roy, your work on Project Iccarus was very good.

Oh, dear God.

Oh, did they not tell you about me?

Oh, do you know what! If you want to hear something really funny,

Oh, do you mind... Do you mind closing the door for me?

Oh, don't worry about it. I must have cut it when I swooned.

Oh, don't worry that's why I always make two cups of tea.

Oh, fantastic!

Oh, God, it's about time you got back, it's been all go.

Oh, God, no, I'm lying again! I didn't understand any of that!

Oh, God! Clever you!

Oh, her not knowing anything about computers.

Oh, him! Oh, he's awful.

Oh, I really don't feel very well.

Oh, I should say, um,

Oh, I will give you a call. Nice to meet you! Take care!

Oh, I'm not Judy, I'm Julie.

Oh, I've made a stress machine

Oh, isn't that just the best story?

Oh, it seems we have a visitor.

Oh, just water. Sometimes, I get a hot ear,

Oh, let me have a look.

Oh, man!

Oh, my God, does that happen a lot?

Oh, my God! Are those Manolo's?

Oh, my God! Look at that view!

Oh, my God! Oh, God! OK.

Oh, never mind that now, Morris!

Oh, no, really, really, really, that was a true story!

Oh, no! No!

Oh, not me!

Oh, oh, that... yeah!

Oh, really nice! In the end, they only charged us half.

Oh, really?

Oh, so, hello!

Oh, sorry, that's it, thanks very much.

Oh, that good looking man with "Security"

Oh, that is typical!

Oh, the things you could learn from her...

Oh, this a great story, you're gonna love it!

Oh, was that the woman who phoned earlier?

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yes, Moss, I'm fine!

Oh, you have no... interest in the world.

Oh! By the way!

Oh! I know!

Oh! No. No, I'm... I'm sorry.

Oh! Okay.

Oh! Shut up!

Oh! This is working right... The afternoon is so great!

Ok but first,

Ok Moss! Pass me that monitor screen. The broken one.

Ok, but are you sure that it's plugged in?

Ok, bye! Bye!

Ok, got something to tell me?

Ok, hit me!

Ok, lady!

Ok, look!

Ok, Ok, what would you say here, if I told you that I had a plan

Ok, so we definitely want to get rid of her.

Ok, so, here's the plan:

Ok, we need to get this right, you know?

Ok, well I'll be up in a minute.

OK, well, let's see it then!

OK, well, the button on the side, is it glowing?

Ok! Ok, take care, take care!

Ok! Put the stress machine in Jen's room!

OK.

Ok.

Ok. Go.

Ok. Now, I'm curious.

Okay well then, tell her,

Okay, do these make me look like a bastard?

Okay, I need a place to bring this girl

Okay, I'm just going to go for a letch on fifth.

Okay, Moss, what did you have for breakfast this morning?

Okay, okay! Tell me how you're feeling?

Okay, so, let's try another one.

Okay, thank you, Moss. Yeah, I'll uh...

Okay, thank you, Roy.

Okay, this sounds exciting.

Okay, well. While he was eating,

Okay, you can ask me a question.

Okay!

Okay.

Okay. Here we go. In what year did Mozart die?

Okay. Yeah, I'll give you 20 quid if you get 1 response.

Okey dokey, you get the firecracker nachos.

On a lonely road.

On all night.

On my head, it's not shit!

One minute, she's there and next minute...

One the best contemporary dark wave bands in the world.

Or from any woman.

Or the melting plastic from the monitor but I feel great!

Or they'll all expect it.

Otherwise I'd own lots of things, and actually they're red,

Ouh, Moss, Moss Moss!

Over 18 million people have died of stress.

PARTY I.T. DEPT 5.45 TODAY

People like you need a person to deal with people...

People tell me I'm not great during this time, so...

Perhaps a little lie down.

Personal... personally.

Personally...

Please don't shut the door.

Please rest assured that my cultural advisor will be fired

Please thank Yamamoto San for this fine ceremonial sword.

Please, Christ, yes!

Please, excuse, excuse me, what are you doi...

Plugging in your computer.

Point is: it's the effect of her words that's important.

Pretty good.

Probably a good thing you weren't sharing.

Probably guys, probably guys,

Probably, Bob, it's Bob leaving funny messages.

Project Iccarus has increased our productivity... 10 folds.

Push hard guy!

Push it! Oh don't let me push you away!

Put your weight into it!

Quick!

Raising my voice.

Really?

Really? Don't worry about it then.

Really? What did she say?

Really? You do the whole lonely hearts thing?

Receptionist 3rd floor, Gloria what's her name...

Relations with any of my patients.

Relationship manager.

Relax?

Remember the new number:

Remember you're a team, and if you can't act as a team, you're fired too!

Rendering it yet more interesting.

Richmond!

Richmond! He's not out of his room, is he?

Richmond's out of his room.

Right!

Right! No! Yeah!

Right.

Right. "Not great" what way?

Right. If who comes by?

Right. Well, that's a good idea.

Ringo Starr?

Roll up your sleeves, Jen.

Roy is dead!

Roy should be punished for nearly killing that lady.

Roy!

Roy?

Roy's stuck under a desk.

Roy's stuck underneath a lady's desk.

Say: "I hate stress!"

Say: "I hate stress..."

Saying that my father has just killed someone.

Scary, but,

See the driver hooks a function by patching the system call table.

See this balloon, Jen?

Self harm, yes! Harm!

Sending e mails, receiving e mails, deleting e mails...

Sexy scary, you know, just like...

She clearly just didn't want a gentleman in her life.

She didn't!

She died last night.

She died?!

She held on so tightly, you know, it was like...

She is quite the oddbod...

She likes the kind of big obnoxious guy who eats Loaders.

She looks exactly like my mother.

She might have told Jen.

She needs her computer, you know.

She reminded me of her age.

She reminded me of me, at her age.

She reminded me of my age at her age.

She said it was something only a severely disturbed person would do.

She said no, it all got a little bit embarrassing

She said she was looking forward to sleeping with you.

She said we're like horrible old women.

She treats me like I'm some sort of sexually frustrated cretin.

She was onto here!

She was reminded of me?

She was so beautiful!

She was some piece of ass.

She was special.

She was the "phone a friend"?

She will mind.

She's a glamorous old woman.

She's a little bit weird, to say the least.

She's doing fine.

She's easy to spot, she's has three rows of teeth.

She's gonna tell everyone!

She's the only one that's had direct contact with Irma.

She's the spit of her!

She's very busy.

She's watching Diagnosis Murder at full volume.

She's... she's a very sexy woman.

Shoes!

Should I tell Jen we got a reply?

Shouldn't I be on the couch?

Shouted at a bus.

Shouting at Japs! Mad feet!

Show you in a minute.

Shut up, Morris!

Shut up!

Sick? Me? No!

Simon from 3rd is the one with the hair.

Sit properly?

Small Paul, you're gone now.

Smashing!

Snapped at my wife, or spoken harshly

So Denholm just amorted you for nothing, did he?

So did you see the match last night?

So does this mean we're not going to the "thank you" party?

So fast, my career was advancing by leaps and bounds.

So he's telling everybody you slept with him.

So here you are!

So I can't get out.

So it's not safe to unload it,

So special in fact,

So this is your job? This is what you want for a career?

So very, very easy.

So we brought them to the fair.

So what do you wanna tell me?

So who of course is Daniel, our estimed temp security guard, going to phone

So why did you come here in the first place?

So you get what you want, I'll get what I want

So, as you can clearly see, it wasn't...

So, how did you end up down here?

So, let me get this straight.

So, the people I'll be working with, what're they like?

So, um, you're going my way?

So, what happened?

So...

So... What can we do you for?

Some chump has run the data line right through the power supply.

Some kind of shouty cat!

Some of these feelings...

Someday, I will tell my kids about this.

Someone to see you!

Something happened with the router this morning.

Sometimes, you just think

Sorry about the sound quality

Sorry but I'm not gonna be able to deal with that woman!

Sorry guys.

Sorry Roy! I may be speaking louder at the moment

Sorry, I just didn't have you down as a restaurant person.

Sorry, I'm not gonna ask you anything at all.

Sorry, who is it who died?

Sorry! Sorry, but you see what I mean!

Standard nerds!

Starting from... now!

Stay out of this, Fonzy!

Still cleaning himself off.

Stop doing that!

Stop it!

Stop it.

Stop saying that!

Stop telling everyone I slept with you!

Stop telling people I slept with you!

Stress is a disease, people, and I am a cure!

Stress is the main cause of heart attacks.

Stress!

Stuck under a desk?!

Suddenly, people just weren't returning my calls.

Suicide...

Sure, I pour hot water all over myself, and we all have a good chuckle.

Sure, I'll be fine, thanks.

Sure, sure.

Sure... sure...

Synchronized.

Tank you, thank you, oh God!

Team players each and every one of you.

Team! Team team team team team!

Teipas.

Tell me about it. Me too.

Tell me,

Tell them that story about when we were drunk in Amsterdam.

Tell them to look for a security team that can work as a team.

Terrible rages, but... Yes?

Thank God for that!

Thank God, we weren't sharing.

Thank God! I thought that thing was broken.

Thank God.

Thank you very much.

Thank you, no.

Thank you, so, so much!

Thank you.

Thanks, Roy.

Thanks.

That all women love bastards and therefore win 20 pounds.

That could get you into trouble!

That doesn't really work as a thing...

That explains everything!

That foot is completely mangled.

That girl earlier, that tried to beat me to death with her shoes,

That guy is famous, he's a mouth.

That has nothing to do with this.

That is good. See you.

That is happening has changed... slightly,

That is how we do it.

That is what we'd be to them.

That Jen knows, was it Julie or Judy?

That looks great!

That makes me sound like a psycho so that I can prove to Jen

That means I turn it... on...

That monkey...

That one up there.

That one! The one with the monkey! It's horrible!

That probably took hundreds of years to set up,

That says: "I'm a bastard."

That settles. Got a good feeling about you Jen!

That should clear up nicely.

That they have...

That told her!

That was a certain Mr. Mozart, I think you'll find.

That was a nice day the fair, wasn't it?

That was Denholm.

That was my mother.

That we have PMT!

That when I called my close personal friend

That woman looks down, she's going to assume he's a desk rabbit.

That women liking bastards thing is a total myth.

That you don't know anything about computers.

That'll be trouser food.

That's another one.

That's brilliant!

That's enough!

That's fine. Can I have your left hand there? The back?

That's funny!

That's her!

That's how I got that monitor home.

That's if you're prepared to take me on again.

That's interesting!

That's it, you heard me, fine! Get your things and go!

That's just to show how little is needed

That's not what's causing it.

That's our type.

That's right Doodles!

That's right!

That's right! Yes, of course.

That's the best amount of eyes.

That's the maddest thing I could think of!

That's the psychiatrist!

That's the question I've been asking myself for 4 long years.

That's the sort of place this is, Jen.

That's what I do:

That's what will happen if you open the red door.

That's you cheerful.

That's your peace of mind!

That's...

The action on this is great!

The button, turns it on?!

The computer screen of course, the keyboard...

The girl from I.T., that's terrible.

The girl, oh my God, the girl, Judy, she's a...

The heel went right through!

The hell it has!

The lawyers!

The men involved are young, angry and

The monkey? What's wrong with that monkey?

The moon!

The mouth has to be wrong. There's gotta be something wrong with her mouth.

The needle's freaking out!

The News.

The nurse said I didn't do myself any serious damage.

The office is on fire, Denholm is furious, so

The one time I manage to bamboozle a girl in the building

The only other explanation is...

The people that turn their backs on him as soon as he became a Goth.

The picture on the cup.

The pitch...

The psychiatrist is a very... attractive lady?

The right stuff!

The rioting has been going

The seaside?

The shoes aren't going on!

The shoes!

The situation is completely out of cont...

The spider's managed to walk behind me.

The stress machine? What about the fire?!

The symptoms, Roy!

The thing I cannot understand yet, this:

The toilet cleaners!

The Web... Using mouse... mices... using mice.

The woman in the shop said they were way too small for me.

The... bit that goes on the floor down there...

Their mysterious seasons!

Then wait for it.

Then which country am I speaking to?

There are some many issues in the world,

There aren't chances of that round here.

There is no angle, but I could...

There is nothing on the cup!

There was me and a few other girls, Liz and Susan and

There we are, you see?

There we go.

There will be some piece of evidence that will prove

There you are!

There.

There's a builder outside, taking off his shirt.

There's a free buffet...

There's a picture of me on it.

There's absolutely no point to anything.

There's gonna be a long way down for you, sweet chicks!

There's more.

There's no one there!

There's no room for people who can't act in a team on my team!

There's nothing behind the red door, Jen.

There's nothing there!

There's nothing unusual about that.

There's one more angel in Heaven.

There's probably a whole website devoted to us already!

There's some shit on your head.

There's someone under here.

There's too much stress around here.

These are a size 5...

These are just some of the things you'll be hearing if you answer this ad.

These three people proved, time and again,

They all thought I was dead.

They are beautiful, I love them...

They are gorgeous! Were they expensive?

They call him "The News"

They call him: " Stressperts!"

They committed suicide, Roy!

They cut the red tape!

They cut the red tape! They cut the red tape!

They do good work. Have you been to the toilets on 12th?

They do this every time.

They don't. It's just Smarties in a bowl with milk.

They have put me in charge of them.

They help me hide the fact

They look like such fruits.

They make you look like an idiot.

They may have to escort our security team from the building,

They never remember us!

They said outsourcing our toilet cleaning

They said we couldn't do it!

They should call dates "Spend some time with a big fat loser!"

They toss us away like yesterday's jam!

They were crazy heady days.

They would cripple you.

They'd seemed distracted.

They'll be embarrassed.

They'll **** the flip out of me!

They're "your" emergency services. So...

They're driving me out of my tiny little mind.

They're fairly regular, the beatings, yes.

They're two sizes too small.

They're very expensive and besides,

They've just made you Employee of the Month.

Things of the night...

Things started to go wrong for me at work.

Things that are dark...

Things were moving fast.

Think Daniel was on Millionaire. Too bad it wasn't 50/50.

Thinking you were some sort of disgusting tramp.

This bloke just insulted me!

This flipping circuit board, Jen,

This is a man Julie on 5th thinks is perfect for me,

This is enough! We never fight!

This is in here! Moss!

This is insane! What's going on?!

This is my psychiatrist.

This is my punishment.

This is ridiculous!

This is...

This isn't my cup!

This man says you should take his card.

This seems an unusual place for someone like you to want to meet.

Thousands...

To a big girls' night out?

To a group of people circled around me.

To a work colleague, because of stress.

To be continued.

To come and give a class at lunchtime.

To raise your profile upstairs by 100%. What would you say?

To send downstress levels shooting up.

To treat people with a little bit of respect!

To try out for myself, like the one in that class.

To women.

Toilets!

Told you it was a window.

Too busy for you.

Trouble... It's basically what I am.

Try not to hurt yourself!

Try to look on the bright side.

Try track 4, Coffin Fodder.

Unbelievable!

Unbelievable.

Underneath all that make up.

Unisex toilets? You have unisex toilets, like Ally McBeal?

Unless another thread's about to jump in there and do its stuff.

Unless you do something so tumble you, me and Tim Burton over there.

Up all night and you'd see 8 women.

Usually, it doesn't do that.

Very deeply indeed.

Very sudden, yes.

Voicemail!

Wait a second, you said it was Tolstoy, he said what?

Wait a second.

Wait, wait. One moment, wait.

Warm...

Was it A) Bartok, B) Chopin?

Was it the food?

Was so that I could explore...

Wasn't he nice? I thought he was a lovely man.

Watch her!

Watch this.

We all have to go sometime.

We all kind of...

We are getting on like a big house on fire!

We can hope and pray that everybody else calms down too.

We could listen to the new Jamie Cullum album.

We didn't hear you come in.

We do not wanna go in there half cocked.

We drive cars...

We get together, I was like "No".

We go in, I make up a load of bullocks about computers

We gotta deal with it!

We had an argument.

We have to do something.

We leave it at that. I just think it's a lot less confusing.

We set up a voice activation system on your computer.

We should get so drunk that we don't know what's going on.

We want Elton!

We want Elton! We want Elton! We want Elton!

We weren't thanked!

We... we need to stay calm.

We'd have a big girls' night out.

We're all reminded how brief our time is here on Earth.

We're back to pre broadband speed.

We're just like you really...

We're more than capable of taking care of ourselves.

We've been here... for half an hour.

Weirdest thing just happened... Fire!

Well done Jen!

Well done, Paul!

Well done, you did a great job! Thanks!

Well go on, then.

Well here I am!!

Well I feel like a princess, Roy!

Well if you can't work as a team, you're all fired!

Well it's... It was...

Well Jen, this is where I leave you.

Well maybe this will teach you

Well no! No.

Well that's easy to remember!

Well you can't come out. You're bringing everyone down.

Well, can either of you tell me... Okay... Okay...

Well, he's gotta come out and play with us for a while.

Well, I don't need attach... can't, what's happened there...

Well, I just went in, and she was having a pretend conversation.

Well, I should take you shopping.

Well, I think I should go first!

Well, I went to a good place recently.

Well, I'd better... I'd better... hit this way.

Well, I'd hardly make up something like that, would I?

Well, if it's a store room,

Well, if it's true,

Well, it's just not working out.

Well, it's probably all that shouting.

Well, just a little misunderstanding there I imagine. So...

Well, left him to it.

Well, like all the women, she's shoe mad!

Well, my breast tenderness has gone.

Well, one night, we were really drunk.

Well, she was a bit off at the restaurant.

Well, shoes...

Well, there must be something behind it.

Well, there's obviously nothing wrong with you.

Well, they do have some strong arguments.

Well, we were just wondering now that you're "The Boss",

Well, we're happy to have you.

Well, what're you talking about? That's a brilliant story!

Well, what's wrong with it?

Well, yes, ideally, but

Well, you are not going to Adam and beliEVE this.

Well, you certainly seem to know your stuff.

Well, you know where we are if you need us.

Well, you know...

Well, you look terrible.

Well. I have to say you're missing out.

Well...

Went on the rampage in a shopping centre

What a match!

What am I declaring war on?

What are we gonna do about her?

What are you doing?

What are you eating anyway?

What are you eating?

What are you laughing at?

What are you still doing here Bill, for God sake, go home!

What are you talking about, Roy?

What are you talking about?

What are you talking about? Who comes down? What people?

What are you wearing size 5 shoes for, woman? You're at least an 8!

What are you, eight and a half?

What are you? A five?

What can I do about it? Anyone?

What can I do for you?

What can I do you fo What can I do for you?

What can I possibly do? I...

What did I say about the red door? I said don't open the red door!

What did she say?

What did you say about me?

What did you say?! What did you say?!

What do we gotta do?

What do you want?!

What else?

What else? What else?

What good are you?

What happened to your feet?

What have you got against him?

What have you got there?

What is it?

What is it?!

What is she doing?

What is that?

What is that? Spanish?

What is this?

What is wrong with my eyes?

What on Earth is going on?!

What picture?

What poster?

What shall we do?

What situation?

What sort of dark things?

What story did you think I mean?

What the heck is tapas?

What they'll sort of call people like Roy.

What time of the month? The week end?

What was all that about?

What was Rooney thinking over there?

What was that about?

What was the name, was it Judy or Julie?

What was the subject?

What window?

What would actually change if I just killed myself.

What would you do to...

What would you say Roy? Roy's passed out! Ok!

What would you say...

What would your murder weapon be?

What you doing in there?

What! Still?!

What?

What? Why not?

What? You got a response?

What? You mean I have to stay down here?

What? You think I'm afraid of you? I'm not afraid of you!

What?!

What's a snibbit?

What's behind that red door?

What's going on there?

What's going on?!

What's happened?

What's he doing! A goal!

What's that got to do with us?

What's that?

What's the point of anything?

What's the point of sending him back to him room,

What's the precise nature of the problem?

What's this place called?

What's wrong with my eyes?

What's wrong with you Moss?

What's wrong with you?

Whatever it is, we're not interested.

When did... I don't remember this conversation at all!

When have you read Tolstoy?

When I see him tomorrow...

When I was her age,

When she saw this original ZX IT 1?

When there's a problem with their printer, but once it's fixed...

When we were so drunk in Amsterdam that Moss lost his glasses!

When you were working in your old job, with the girls,

When you, when you Simply Ready?

When you'd like to actually put CDs in there at some point?

Whenever Aunt Irma was visiting me,

Where are you going?

Where I worked before,

Where I've...

Where is he?

Where is the picture, Moss?

Where is the precinct extinguisher?

Where Roy?

Where? Where?

Which is quite tarty, and they don't necessarily go with any of my outfits...

While we come to terms with the loss.

Who composed The Wooden Prince?

Who knows! That's Rooney!

Who wrote Missa Brevis in D minor? Was it Mozart or Beethoven?

Who?

Why are these things always so hard to open?!

Why are you giving me the secret signal to shut up?!

Why are you speaking that weird voice?

Why are you wearing ear plugs?

Why can't you just ask me now?

Why do you have to go and see her?

Why do you need to know?

Why do you never see any Cockney Goths?

Why do you think that's great?

Why do you wanna look like a bastard?

Why don't we go to the thank you party?

Why don't you come down here and make me then?

Why has it done that?

Why is he out of his room?

Why should I trust you?

Why they sent you down here. Tell her what you did.

Why would we go?

Why would you want to go out with Patricia anyway?

Why wouldn't I be a restaurant person?

Why you do that to me when I need this chance?

Why?

Why? What did she Did she just say what I

Why? Why not? I tell you,

Will be fired!

Will he get off my back! What is he? The soldering iron police?

Will that be enough time for me to get to know the plan?

Will you stop trying to undermine me!

Willy nilly.

With Brandy and Crystal!

With more than 7 eyes.

With myself at home but the risk is, honestly...

With no return ticket!

With the one that ended: "No dogs"?

With the rising inflection and everything.

With the shoe!

With their ways...

With this picture,

Without any shadow of a doubt

Without... saying a word about...

Women don't want gentlemen, they want bullies and thugs.

Work?

Would "steamed" be a better word?

Would be inefficient!

Would I blow everyone's mind if I ate dessert first?

Would you like us to access the data supplier

Wow, calm down, everybody!

Wow, great shoes!

Wow! The rules on that show have really changed!

Wow! You don't think that Aunt Irma is visiting us?

Wrangle with him and you'll find your handful my friend.

Wrangle! With who?

Written on his shoulders? Yes!

Www.ladiesproblem.com

Yeah but...

Yeah but... that referee... I'm sorry the referee is just an idiot.

Yeah well, I am reading a comic.

Yeah, broken down how, Judy?

Yeah, Denholm. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, don't you worry about those two.

Yeah, he wants to know if you'll go out for dinner with him tomorrow night.

Yeah, hi Jen, Jen, uh, okay...

Yeah, I am.

Yeah, I can't wait.

Yeah, I know.

Yeah, I mean they've not respect for us up there, no respect whatsoever!

Yeah, I think it is so. Just down angle it a bit more.

Yeah, I thought she was stealing office equipment.

Yeah, I'd like to get drunk.

Yeah, I'll be honest, when Julie suggested

Yeah, I'm trying to stay in shape, you know...

Yeah, just... just having a little break.

Yeah, like a lonely hearts thing but I'll make it sound psychotic.

Yeah, no, that would be fantastic.

Yeah, she's dead. She... she died.

Yeah, that was weird.

Yeah, that's not a window.

Yeah, we need to post a classified lonely hearts ad online

Yeah, we'll be fine, I think, thanks.

Yeah, well,

Yeah, what she...

Yeah, whatever.

Yeah, why is it taking so long to download?

Yeah, yeah, that'd be... really nice actually.

Yeah, yeah, yeah! Oh, it's brilliant!

Yeah, you know what?

Yeah, you need to turn it on!

Yeah, you, Hucknall.

Yeah!

Yeah! Five...

Yeah! I'll be careful!

Yeah?

Yeah? What's it called?

Yeah.

Yeah. From the other side...

Yeah. Hair conditioner.

Yeah. Have you tried turning it off and on again?

Yeah. I guess it's just difficult to tell

Yeah. I seldom normally come out this far, only

Yeah. I think we're gonna get on great.

Yeah. In a while.

Yeah. Just to say...

Yeah. You know, I...

Yeah... that's boring.

Yeah... You... Yeah...

Yep? I can't hear you!

Yep.

Yes I did, actually, yes I did.

Yes I thought he was a delight.

Yes it is.

Yes it was, why not.

Yes Mr. Denholm.

Yes Richmond. Tell me, how come Aunt Irma isn't affecting you?

Yes you do.

Yes, chocolate, yes! I meant chocolate.

Yes, he was certainly the villain of the piece.

Yes, I believe it was Tolstoy who said...

Yes, I do the whole lonely hearts thing.

Yes, I do.

Yes, I think I read about it in Hits.

Yes, I...

Yes, it might be a bit difficult.

Yes, of course, I will! Of course! Oh yes! Yes!

Yes, of course!

Yes, one of those.

Yes, right?

Yes, that's fine.

Yes, that's great, Jen.

Yes, there was a time when things were very different.

Yes, well, it's like this:

Yes, what are they?

Yes, yes I am!

Yes, yes, it's like there was 2 of me.

Yes, yes.

Yes, you parcel did arrive, I'm keeping it here safe for you.

Yes!

Yes! That was very funny!

Yes! Yes! Bang on! Good!

Yes! Yesterday's jam! That is what we are to them!

Yes.

Yes. Along with a list of symptoms.

Yes. Come on up.

Yes. Computer planch.

Yes. Don't you?

Yes. I can see why you didn't want to use the word "plan".

Yes. It is an unusual text, isn't it? It's not just me?

Yes. So you keep saying.

Yes. Thoughts about dark things...

Yes. Yes of course.

You are looking good today!

You ate a whole chicken at the stress buffet!

You bastard!

You can come down here any time and I'll be waiting for ya!

You can never see that woman again.

You can't go up straight away

You can't just go messing around with the snibbits door room,

You change one thing,

You could take me through what you're doing right now.

You did all the work!

You didn't let me finish.

You do know how a button works, don't you?

You don't believe this theory, do you?

You don't know anything about computers, admit it!

You don't like goat's cheese?

You don't need me any more, Moss.

You don't understand.

You don't want nice guys.

You don't want that, do you?

You don't want the rainforest to die, do you?

You f... idiot!!

You f... J...

You felt a twinge, it was your heart and you're dead now...

You gonna go?

You guys don't mind me chilling out in here, do you?

You guys should come down here more often you know,

You had a job?

You handled that well!

You have one new message.

You have to be careful.

You haven't been thinking about self harm?

You heard me, he's in the building!

You investigate.

You just diffuse that entire situation!

You just made all that up?

You know how changeable I can be.

You know how demanding I am.

You know how suggestible and easily swayed I.T. people are...

You know my mother wouldn't stand for any of that kind of nonsense!

You know something?

You know you're covered in blood?

You know, I can't have everything that I love,

You know, I get set up a lot by friends, and it never works out.

You know, I hate dates usually.

You know, I just spent the last hour

You know, I mean, for example, Moss,

You know, I was actually the last person to sleep with her.

You know, I was the last person that slept with her actually.

You know, it comes in a real bucket now.

You know, like in a minute.

You know, tapas,

You know, you're a busy man

You know...

You like him!

You look exactly like my mother.

You lying cow!

You mean the fire incident?

You must be stunned.

You obviously don't know anything about computers.

You probably think that's a picture of my family?

You pushed that trolley a little too hard,

You see, I used to be Denholm's second in command.

You sent an e mail about a fire?

You sent this out?!

You should be!

You should have one.

You should have seen me, I was magical.

You should hear what happened to Moss and I,

You should see this as a new era for Reynholm Industries.

You should speak to him.

You shouldn't have sent out this e mail detailing the symptoms.

You shouldn't have sent that e mail, Moss!

You signed it from both of us!

You stay down here all the time.

You stupid old f...

You think it's Irma?

You told me to never tell that story to anyone

You turned it off?

You understand this is your last chance?

You wanted me to come down?!

You will be fired!

You will slip up one day,

You won't have to go through all that call waiting...

You! Stall him by the door!

You... You can't upset the whole harmony of the place.

You're a brute!

You're a loner?

You're a teipas.

You're a... red wine person?

You're back on the payroll.

You're back with the big guys Richmond!

You're busy!

You're fighting in front of kids!

You're in big trouble!

You're just going to have to come over here,

You're killing the rainforest!

You're like a pair of horrible old women.

You're making it going back in!

You're not being fired by me...

You're not listening to me!

You're not the head of this department.

You're not wearing these again.

You're old? Are you very old?

You're on!

You're relationship manager, that falls under relationship.

You're right, I'll be a man. I'm a man.

You're right, I'm being silly. Wrap it up, Roy!

You're right, no point, it's all futile, can't even find my cup.

You're right.

You're that bloke off the telly!

You're used to being social social piranhas...

You're very welcome.

You're welcome then.

You're welcome, Judy.

You've got big balls, Roy!

You've got Jen to thank for that.

You've got shit on your head.

You've got to help Roy!

You've got... to help me find it.

You've just used the double negative.

You've never seen me, just make up something,

You've unleashed a monster with that Aunt Irma business.

You've won this round, but we can wait!

Your eyes, something's wrong with your eyes.

Your place... your place...

10 minutes of Beaches!

011 53... No.

011 huh...

70 miles!

0118 999 881 999 119 725...

0118 999...

...I could go on. Do!

...you know... at the moment so... What?

Ah, thank you. So slim!

Amazon thingy. Ah! Wicked!

and we did all the work! Yeah...

And? I got it wrong.

Anyway, did you see it? What?

Are you ready to deal with it?! Yeah!

Big bang noise! Big bang noise, what...

But we're not on the coast. Moss!

Bye bye! Thank you!

Closed for maintenance? Moss!

Come on! I'm pushing!

Come on! Thank you.

Come on! Yes!

Daniel's, Ok. But before I put you on with him,

Denholm's called the general. Oh God, another one!

Denholm's coming? Yeah.

Department of what? Oh excuse me, that's my phone ringing.

Did you know him? No.

Did you say Jamie Cullum? Yeah.

Do you want to seat here? Thank you.

Don't be scared! Oh, I'm not really scared.

Don't give her. I'll give her these.

Don't look at my feet! Fire?

Easy one downstairs? They're fine, yeah.

Eyebrows seem normal. Two eyes.

Famous? Yes. Google their names.

First day! Yes!

Flip off! Moss!

getting to grips with the... I'm gonna put you in I.T.

God! Did we?

Gonna go for this meal then. Yeah.

Good nose. That is a good nose.

Goths are people to. Enough!

Has she gone yet? Yeah.

Have you seen this girl? What's she like?

He'll never go in there! But what if he does?

He's joking! But you said...

Hello? Hello!

Hello? Hello?

Hello. Hi.

Here. Oh God.

How can you two... Don't google the question Moss!

Huh let's move on... with... Wow!

I am the head of this department! I thought I was.

I am... so... sorry, Denholm. That was quite a tarring Jen.

I couldn't do it when I was a child, You're getting yourself in a tease,

I didn't hear anything? It's on vibrate.

I hate stress! No!

I just want... Nice date!

I know something. What? What do you know?

I know what we could watch next! Yeah!

I need to get her to sign something. Yeah.

I see... She's of the female... Genre? Yes.

I wasn't gonna say it but... Say it.

I'll call you a cab. No, no, no, it's fine.

I'm coming! I... God's sake!

I'm gonna sort this out... Roy, you've got a head wound there

I'm not a liar. Yeah, but I mean I can't...

I'm not wearing a scarf. Not you, Moss!

I'm sorry. Is this the stress class? Oh yeah. Come on in.

I've got a response! That was quick!

If I may... Sure.

Is it in? Come on!

Is she in here? No.

Is she? She's a busy Miss Lizzy!

Is that French? French? No, it's English.

It could already be too late. I don't know what to do...

It really is the least I can do. Oh yeah...

It was alright, thanks. Not you!

It's been a good night so far. Yes, it's been really good, yeah.

It's just "Phone a friend". Anyway.

It's non sense, isn't it? She's so silly!

It's your fault! Guys!

Jen! Hey, you!

Jen! Yes!

Just can't have him in sight. Yeah.

Just make sure it's off! It is off.

King of men. Daniel was on "Millionaire"?

Leave it with me! Great!

Let me do the talk. All right.

Like in ads? Yeah, like in ads...

Like this? That's it!

Look at this. What?

Made in Britain! This is just like the golf incident!

Morning. Morning.

Moss! Yes there is.

Moss! You know, it...

Moss? Huh?

Moss? Yes?

Nice meeting you! Chairman! Wow!

No, I'm not. Yes, he is!

No! No.

No! Yaha!

No? Yes!

No?! Yep!

Not you. No.

of the lie... Yes, stop over thinking everything.

Oh God look! What?

Oh God! Hey, that much!

Oh God! Yeah.

Oh hello again! Oh hi!

Oh I can't decide! Do!

Oh now, I'm bleeding! Jen!

Oh will you get off that? No, honestly, it's true!

Oh yeah! Oh yeah!

Oh, yeah, sure. Yeah, Ok.

Oh. Won't be a tick! Oh, my God!

Ok, come on! Let's go girls! Yeah!

Ok. We go in... When?

Okay, Jen. Hi, Daniel.

Petit pois. Oh, right.

Please believe it. Oh my God!

Please I can help. I'll deal

Post. Thank you.

Really? Yeah!

Really? Yes.

Really? Yes. Why?

Really? She said that... What?

Rude? Unbelievable!

Scary...? Yes...

Screw them! Yeah! Screw them!

She liked him? Apparently.

She was the "phone a friend". You're the "phone a friend"!

She won't like them. She won't mind!

Smarties cereals. Oh my God!

Smile and the world will... Excuse me! Excuse me!

So! So.

Sugar! Yeah...

Taste it! No!

Taxi! I'll get my bus.

Teipas. Yeah, that's no how you say it.

Thank you. Watch your bloody hand!

That was his last day. Thank God!

That's good. What's yours?

That's normal, Moss. Really?

That's not true! Yes it is!

That's the American one! Yeah!

The hard drive? Correct.

The tapas, do they know? Teipas!

There's no need. That's okay.

These are very heavy shoes. Yes.

tiny food from Spain. Oh, yes.

try not to get on my nerves. Oh yeah.

Was it 1780 or 1791? 1791.

We gotta move on... And I think we could...

We should get drunk together then. Okay, yeah.

We're all just drudgens to them. Yes!

Well I'm a little bit scared. What? Don't be!

Well just make sure it is. I will make sure it is.

Well then I can just go... No Jen!

Well, she has hair on her eyes. Who has hair on her eyes?

What? Ask me where it is...

What? Shoes!

What? Something else!

What? Well, I've got...

What? What's this contraption?

What? Yes.

What's a desk rabbit? I just made that up.

What's going on? God!

What's wrong? Nothing's wrong!

When did you grow a bit? A little go.

Where are you Jen? It's Denholm!

Where what is? The picture.

Who do you know on 5th? Why?

With me on the... Thanks!

Without him... Hey, she isn't dead!

Yeah! My ear's getting hot!

Yeah! You know I do!

Yes there is. No there isn't!

Yes, another volunteer? Yeah.

Yes! Roy!

Yes. No it's fine it... Just let me...

You berk! Come on, are you ready?

you can store some of this stuff. No! Jen, Jen!

You know... What?

You mean 999... I mean 999!

You see you know, be practical, go on! In the time...

You stole it... Yeah!

You think... Well maybe...

You won't even know I'm here. Okay.

You! No, Daniel.

You're hilarious! Yes, we are!

You're not saying... I know it sounds crazy.

Your really liked that film? Yes. Didn't you?

...3!

...and, turned out, 4 dead cyclists on my fault!

'Cause everything is nice and everyone is friendly.

'cause I'd always leave a rose at the scene of the crime.

'Cause I've just been telling everybody.

'Cause that's what you women want! Nice guys!

"...fire!"

"...would be very interested in meeting up and talking it over."

"123, Carendon road."

"A new era for Reynholm Industries!"

"Aim nozzle at base of fire."

"All the best, Maurice Moss."

"And then maybe back to my place?"

"Breast tenderness!"

"Carrie", Moss, first scene in "Carrie".

"Dear Sir", stroke, "Madam."

"Do you wanna go on a date with me?"

"Do you want to be a Millionaire?"

"Fire!", exclamation mark.

"Headachy", "Weakened",

"Help me!', exclamation mark.

"I attached a photograph for your approval...

"I don't really like sharing."

"I'm an idiot and I don't care about anyone but myself."

"I'm going to murder you."

"I'm writing to inform you of a fire

"Irritability, anxiety!"

"Looking forward to hearing from you."

"Love, Rebecca."

"Made In Britain"

"Made in Britain"

"or not!" Exclamation mark.

"PS: No dogs."

"Remove safety clip."

"Shut up! Do what I tell you! I'm not interested!"

"Stand upright."

"Subject:..."

"We don't need no education!"

"What are you doing Roy?"

"What are you doing?!"

"which has broken out at the premises of..."

"Who Wants to be a Millionaire?"

"Who Wants to be a Millionaire?" it's called. No, I didn't.

"Who wants to be a person who is wrong?"

"Would you like to go for dinner with me?"

"You bloody woman!"

"You will always be in our heart!"

The IT Crowd (2006) - Season 1 Edit

The IT Crowd (2006) - Season 1