The IT Crowd (2006) - Season 3 Edit

A bunch of beautiful women without any clothes on, Roy?

A driving instructor who looks like a magician. It's preposterous!

A nude calendar?

A prostitute in the bedroom.

A sexual harassment settlement, thank you!

A woman in the living room, a chef in the kitchen,

Aaarrrhh!

Aargh! Jesus, this bloody thing!

About what it is I do and everything...

Absolutely.

Admit it, Jen!

Admit that you have feelings for me, loudly, here, in front of Alison.

After months of legal wrangling, an amicable agreement is finally reached.

Agh! It's a pickle, Terry. Awh! Women! Agh!

Ah, I'm on Jen at least four times a day.

Ah, Michael the Magnificent.

Ah, there she is

Ah, you've opened it.

Ah!

Ah...

Aha.

All right, mate?

All right? I'm sorry, but you do.

All right? OK.

All right? What does that look like, a birthmark?

All right... Hello, everybody,

All the girls on 7 are on it.

All the things that men like.

All we know about him is he supports West Ham.

Always been one of my favourites.

Am I Fermat? Because if I am, these clothes are wrong.

Am I on it? Am I on the track? I can't see

Amazing! Just amazing.

An enraged Jen embarks on a lengthy legal process,

An erotic calendar the whole family could enjoy.

And another who collects wires.

And as head of the department it's your nuts on the block.

And ever since you two said it I can't get it out of my head.

And feast my eyes upon its sexy contents!

And find six old women that I've never met

And flirt with people, thank you very much.

And have me take photographs of you.

And he said,

And here's me running out of the house to go

And I can't... I won't... I can't put contact lenses in

And I count myself lucky to have you as a friend.

And I don't want to make any wrong moves there. I cannot blow this one.

And I just have to say how I'm finding this whole thing just... so moving,

And I lost it on a horse.

And I think I speak for all men here

And I want to be straight with you.

And I will have a Bacardi and Cuke. Thank you.

And I'll be there in two hours, three hours tops.

And I'm filling out a form on how much I love Cuke. Have you tried it?

And I'm getting into online games you know, real brain teasers.

And I'm not sure I can handle that. I'm not sure at all!

And if you don't mind me saying,

And it's confusing.

And it's fine. I understand, I really do

And it's gonna make a million quid for that charity.

And it's probably true now anyway I'll bet he does own a lot of gates.

And let me take photographs of them.

And maths?

And maybe find that special someone.

And maybe you could, er... maybe you could get down on all fours.

And now I can't get it out of my head. It's driving me mad.

And now I just need 50p for a phone call so I can get back to work.

And now we're together, and that's all that matters.

And remember what he meant to us.

And Roy... gentle, Irish Roy.

And service revolvers I've had enough!

And she hasn't really happened to me yet.

And she's talking.

And so I turned to Moss. And Moss was there for me, Roy.

And that architrave ain't going to be a problem.

And the eggshell's come up really well.

And the last one... the last one has a gangrenous arm.

And the offer still stands.

And the offer still stands.

And the terrible thing is,

And then by the end of it the makeup started to work for me.

And then, when she started crying, it all ran down her face.

And there are other people in the lab and they're being so noisy.

And there is a robbery taking place right now.

And there'll be no more paintballing weekends.

And there's a condom machine in the toilet I've checked.

And there's nothing you can do about it!

And they chucked me out of the building where I work.

And they got it for free

And they really are lovely guys.

And they were so impressed that they wanted

And think I'll still say yes?

And think, "Jesus Christ, I look like a magician"?

And this, this is Jen, the woman I love

And we'll provide a web page

And welcome to this, our first inter faith tour of Reynholm Industries.

And will you watch your ruddy language? My ears are not a toilet.

And yet, to a casual observer,

And you are afraid of the consequences... Give me fear! Fear!

And you literally haven't left my side since!

And you walk with him, and then you come in this way. OK?

And you were stuck in some terrible, dead end job you hated

And you will get quite a response.

And you'd enjoy it, Roy.

And you've given me two wonderful children in Zenith and Quasar.

And, er... things got a lot better.

And, erm, before your very eyes I shall

And... and then it occurs to you

And... if... if you're hot or anything, Moss,

Any advice you need about anything...

Anyone see the final last night, then?

Anyway, don't worry about the shareholders. I can handle them.

Anyway, I'm going to head, all right?

Anyway, there's a collection for his wife and kids, so you'd both better cough up.

Apparently we are living in the kind of society

April, may I take you to dinner?

April, these past few days have been like a dream.

April... after dinner,

April... we need to talk.

Are you all right, Olive? You look a bit peaky.

Are you insane?!

Are you ready?

Are you ready?

Are you up for it?

Aren't I sexy? Sexy in my nakedness.

As a cold or a terrible plague,

As I say, someone's let me down. It should only take a couple of hours.

As I've already said, I am fully seeded.

As if I'd be worried about something like that.

As some sort of weirdo!

As you know, they found Freddie's body yesterday.

Attractive, successful looking friends?

Aw.

Awright, Harry? Did you see that ludicrous display last night?

Baaaa!

Because he owns a lot of gates.

Because I love 'em.

Because I see her all the time.

Because tomorrow night I'm spending the evening with the Joker.

Because you had some microscopic nuclear things and you dropped them.

Because, you know, I was mostly vomiting.

Best accounting team I've ever had.

Between a laptop and, erm... the larger one,

Boss eyedness is something which affects 1% of Britons.

Bring one of these wonders in to show you?

Builders From Hell?!

Buried down here in the basement,

But as you know, in the end I jumped out of a window.

But believe me, there's not.

But don't worry, not long now until you're at peace.

But don't worry, we won't use it to do anything bad, we promise.

But don't you start talking about how I feel about my beloved West Ham,

But get her behind closed doors and she turns into Peter Stringfellow

But I can't leave him on his own.

But I don't care. I find you enchanting.

But I want to say this:

But I've just solved Fermat's Theorem.

But it sounds like you still have feelings for this young man,

But it's a proper condition and he really suffers, he really...

But it's not disgusting germs that Friendface spreads, it's friendship.

But it's not the same!

But listen to this: Dan let me off. He just totally let me off.

But maybe I'm boring you.

But perhaps we can... bow our heads for a minute and think about Freddie

But seeing as we just got all that money, £50?

But she still wants to do it.

But the doctor's already changed my catheter.

But the electric pants I have to wear at work so I don't become aroused,

But the specific letters, I T, what do they stand for?

But then I knuckled down and I brought my A game,

But then I thought, "Who wants to listen to a boring old speech?"

But then they caught him...

But then you left. You left, Roy.

But this time, after I make a "hurtful comment",

But we can only do so with your help.

But we can only do so with your help.

But why are our tops off?

But why? I don't understand. I thought it was going so well.

But will anyone actually want to see old women

But with you... I don't know, I feel alive.

But you can't work as long as I have in IT

But you know what takes the edge off for me?

But you know what, Jen? I'm actually snowed under here.

But you said you wanted me. She really did.

But you've missed every meeting with them for the last seven weeks.

But, yes, I'm highly seeded.

But... but what did it all mean?

By Stephen Hawking himself.

Can I touch it?

Can you be more specific?

Can you meet me at lunch?

Can you two not use my email address any more, please? I've got a new one.

Cavort!

Check you out, mate!

Chelsea, on the other hand, I like them suddenly.

Chelsea? You're having a laugh, in't ya?

Chicken in a basket! It has been all ruddy go today.

Come back at me with something, OK?

Come on, be game.

Come on, goofy! We wanna see the calendar!

Come on, let's see a smile now. Come on.

Come on, work! Work, you bloody computer!

Come on.

Come on. Let's dance!

Come... Referee... Aw...

Computers? That's not really my area.

Conrad Black the first rich person to go to prison in 300 years.

Cos I can only drive an automatic.

Cos I'm frightened of touching my eyes.

Cos I'm going to take them for the ride of their lives.

Cos we've got a... a a a a rapport, haven't... haven't we?

Could you come to a school reunion with me and pretend you're my husband?

Couldn't we have just have hidden behind those bins?

Cuke? Yeah! I love Cuke. It's heaven in a can

D'uh!

D'you know what I'm talking about? Eh? Eh? Eh? Eh? Eh? Eh?

Dear Douglas, if you're reading this,

Delina, can we be best friends?

Derek was right about you. What are you after? My piece of the action?

Did you say West Ham?

Did you see that ludicrous display last night?

Did you see that ludicrous display last night?

Did you see that ludicrous display last night?

Did you see that ludicrous display last night?

Did you see that?

Did you tell them it's for the boss eyeds?

Do I?

Do it. Offer, offer, offer.

Do the magic shuffle and... Ignore that.

Do you know how much trouble we're in?

Do you know what he does for a living? He is a driving instructor.

Do you know what the shareholders are going to do with us?

Do you know, I've never been so enchanted by a woman in all my life.

Do you mind if I say something first?

Do you really think that you can quiz me for a better option

Do you really want to make that kind of commitment?

Do you think that would be a good idea?

Do you want to do a calendar?

Do you want to meet her? We can meet her.

Do you... want...

Does it hurt you know, when you...?

Doesn't bother me.

Doesn't bother me. I'm very modern.

Doesn't bother you at all?

Don't come in here for a bit.

Don't do it, you'll regret it.

Don't say anything that will get me going, either of you

Don't tell me, I suppose he was fictional too?

Don't think about germs now that analogy's over.

Don't worry, I won't let it go to my head.

Don't worry, Jen, I plan on earning this £10.

Don't you realise what a difference that would make? Eh?

Don't you see it? Don't you wake up every morning and look in the mirror

Douglas receives a love potion from a mysterious blind man in the desert.

Douglas, I know this is you.

Drive!

Each Friendface page is like a Petri dish filled with friendship germs.

Easy there! That's an original.

Elaine is head of marketing at Dennis Publishing.

Employee... of the Month.

Enraptured with the lovely Jen Barber, an employee of Reynholm Industries,

Er, no, I... Don't let me stop the kissing. Let's...

Er, no, no, I lost £200. But it's less than I usually lose, so...

Er, nothing. I'm just talking to Jen about a private project.

Er, nothing. I'm just talking to Jen about a private project.

Er, OK.

Er... erm... A husk?

Er... Taxi Driver,

Erm, is there anything you'd like to say to the shareholders, Moss?

Erm...

Erm... I'm going to go.

Even though Rohypnol would really only make you tired.

Every Employee of the Month has to give a speech in their area of expertise.

Every man has a few stories like this.

Every man has a few stories like this.

Everybody stay calm.

Everyone? Excuse me. Erm...

Except painful.

Excuse me, Alison.

Excuse me, could I trouble you for 50 pence for a phone call?

Excuse me, I am trying to concentrate!

Excuse me, mate. I'm sorry to bother you, but, erm...

Excuse me, please

Excuse me, some of us are trying to sleep round here.

Excuse me... I'm just charging them.

Father?! Is it really you?

Favourite popular figure?

Five now, five later. OK.

Floating from London to Glasgow to promote optimism.

For God's sake, try and have some dignity.

For God's sake!

Freddie, who did the charity thing where he tied the balloons to the chair.

Friendface is a great new site for meeting people.

Friendface works along the same principle

Friendface. Friendface. Friendface.

From the history of science.

From work?

Fuck off, Harry!

Fuck off!

Gambling with our employees' pensions?

Gambling? No.

Gary's doing a bit of work around the house.

Gave me a great excuse to get back in touch.

Geek chic? I wanna tear my eyes out!

Geeks. You lot.

Get all up in my shit.

Get an ambulance and ask it to wait,

Get me IT.

Get out of the way, you bloody poofs!

Get out! Go! Go to the meeting. I'll be right there.

Girls, ship it!

God, I envy you.

God, we should... You and I should stay in touch.

God, why don't women have the confidence to know that less is more?

God, yeah, that would be an absolute fucker.

God... damn these electric sex pants!

Going on a toilet tour of my house.

Good morning.

Good, good.

Got you, you crafty Irish bastard!

Got you! That one's empty, this is the real one.

Great.

Great. OK, erm...

Great. Thanks.

Grrrr...

Guess who's won Employee of the Month.

Guys, come on in.

Guys, I've got a great idea

Guys! Oh, my God, you really like me.

Ha ha ha!

Hang on she was that upset, she was crying?

Hang on, it doesn't have any wires or anything.

Hang on.

Has kindly agreed to say a few words about her role in the IT department.

Have you had a look at these salt and pepper pots? They're beautiful.

Have you heard Guided By Voices? They're a band.

Haven't we? In a way.

He administers the potion in the hope of enslaving her heart.

He becomes incredibly aroused,

He didn't know about it till this afternoon.

He doesn't like talking about it, though, so...

He doesn't look like a magician.

He has indeed, and apparently that deserves a round of applause.

He is angry!

He needs to hold his nerve now.

He probably does.

He won't remember it.

He's done it!

He's effectively your partner.

He's exhausted. We should go.

He's muttering a lot. Have you noticed?

He's permanently boss eyed.

Hell's horses!

Hell's teeth! I'm not aroused. It's only cars.

Hello, IT. Have you tried turning it...

Hello, Jen!

Hello, Jen?

Hello, Roy speaking.

Hello!

Hello?

Hello?

Hello?

Hello.

Hello. Does someone have a problem with their laptop?

Her big embarrassing story is she passed on Arctic Monkeys.

Her name is Jen. Er, she's a work colleague.

Here we go.

Here we go. Pull over here, Roy.

Hey, come on. We did it.

Hey, everybody, look at me!

Hey, I've got a great idea.

Hey, if I'm pretending to be married, I'm pretending to be sexually active.

Hey, man.

Hey, Moss, send me a link for that, will you?

Hey, Roy, come over here. Look at this.

Hey!

Hi, babe.

Hi, Gary.

Hiya.

Hiya.

Hm! That's good. It's not quite punchy enough.

Hooray, he's kicked the ball. Now the ball's over there.

Hope you don't mind.

Hopefully it won't come to it, but if it does,

Horrible! The worst two hours of my life!

How can that be erotic?! Good God!

How can you forget everything you know?

How could you do this to me?!

How could you do this?

How dare you call my sexy wife a bitch!

How do I do that?

How do we know he didn't make a call?

How does it work?

How it'd be much better if we used old ladies or unemployed men.

How many more times is she going to come in?

How so many men have shown interest and support for the calendar.

How's that?

Huh?

Hurry up.

I I have a secret.

I I have to get home. I have to get home.

I always take my top off when I'm celebrating. Don't you?

I always thought you'd be the one whose life just went completely off the rails.

I am a surprising man.

I am a woman!

I am eating my apple, Mum!

I am never going to borrow money off you again. You're a nightmare

I am one of them.

I am sitting here like an idiot, and you've gone down about 15%!

I am the Employee of the Month.

I am your bridge.

I am your conduit.

I am.

I asked for a loan of it so that you could use it in your speech.

I can really use it in my speech? What if someone needs it?

I can still sound like I'm just a big, normal man.

I can't be seen with that mentalist.

I can't believe you got more than me.

I can't believe you're not interested

I can't hang around the house he'll know I don't trust him.

I can't hear you. Can't you see we're having an iPod party?

I can't seem to get it open.

I can't turn down a friend request from my mum.

I can't wait.

I can't... And there's no...

I can't... There's no way that th these glasses...

I could dance around the subject, but I like you, Douglas,

I could do the photographs. Because I said I was an amateur photographer.

I could get to like these.

I could hardly say no, could I?

I could have brought it in tomorrow, you know.

I did plan on using this gun to take my own life, if it came to it,

I did tell them that, Jen, and you know what? They just laughed at me.

I didn't even know they had an Employee of the Month thing here.

I didn't know about it.

I didn't notice at first, but someone mentioned it

I didn't say that. I said I was listening to The Police.

I do not!

I do, as it happens. I'm an amateur photographer, actually.

I do, I do... It's... Why wouldn't I want you?

I do.

I don't care where you're from Iran, France...

I don't care.

I don't even know why I got rid of my old one it was working fine.

I don't fancy you, you big, ugly builder.

I don't have a spare.

I don't just see you...

I don't know what it means, all right?

I don't know, Jen,

I don't know, maybe I'm reading too much into it.

I don't know.

I don't know. I still feel we could have got more

I don't see any way past it. It's weird. It's weird for me.

I don't think I've ever looked in this drawer.

I don't think so.

I don't.

I don't. I don't. I don't have feelings for this man.

I don't...

I feel really bad, having all the fun writing this speech.

I feel sort of dizzy all of a sudden.

I forgot the question quite a while back. Who are you again?

I get to see what all my employees are doing, all the time.

I got really drunk to try and make the evening pass quicker,

I had every last one of them.

I had to choose the Employee of the Month from the box.

I hate it when that happens.

I have a vital meeting to attend, and I've just shot myself in the leg.

I have another channel of communication with my mum!

I have to go. I'm meeting an old school friend for lunch.

I haven't done that wall yet.

I haven't paid for a drink all night, and besides,

I hear ya

I hereby announce that speech over and the calendar ready to go.

I joined last night and I've already got 30 friends.

I just got this new one, but it's really complicated.

I just thought, what with all this extra attention on us... on me,

I just want you to stay out of trouble.

I just went to the toilet.

I just wondered, erm... if you fancied a cup of tea.

I know it is. I know it is. I'm sorry

I know.

I know.

I love her. I love that woman.

I love that you used to be a man it's your thing.

I love the way he says:

I love thinking about that operation that you had.

I love this. I feel so social.

I love you, God knows I do.

I may not come back.

I mean "go to the toilet".

I mean, I like tall... beautiful girls.

I mean, I think you're a top bird and everything, but...

I mean, Jesus Christ?

I mean, people really do care about the boss eyeds.

I mean, this is just between ourselves

I mean, you'd basically have to actually become a magician.

I must say, this is all very impressive, Douglas.

I need you... to take all your clothes off...

I never thought to... It didn't really affect me.

I pass it on to you in the hope that if things ever get too bad,

I promise I won't let anything happen to it.

I promise, Father.

I promise.

I really am impressed. Good for you.

I really don't know what the letters actually stand for.

I really need to get down there, but my car's broken down.

I said, "Do you want to be in a nude calendar?"

I saw on your profile that you were having a party.

I see our future."

I seem to have forgotten absolutely everything I know about computers.

I suppose normally about £5.

I suppose that is the biggest adventure.

I suppose.

I tell you, you present this to the shareholders

I think Delina might be sleeping with someone else.

I think I can handle that.

I think I may have it.

I think I've got better things to do than to talk to friends

I think it would give you experience in writing a speech for a public figure.

I think it would, and I have.

I think my dentist lives near here. Do you know him?

I think perhaps it's you who's playing games with me.

I think someone up there must have sensed something in me,

I think you'd better check your facts there. Fictional?

I thought at least we'd get a good story out of it,

I thought I needed some new furniture, so I got some stuff from upstairs. Sit down.

I thought I'd got rid of her, but, oh no, she found me on Friendface.

I thought I'd work from home today.

I thought it was a magic potion.

I thought we'd start with the IT department because,

I thought you were special.

I told them about Jen winning Employee of the Month.

I understand if you would rather I left.

I used to be a man, Douglas.

I used to be a man.

I want to go back to being weird. I like being weird.

I want you to dial 999.

I was born... ready.

I was hoping we could get shitfaced and watch the telly.

I was riding the horse it fell out of my pocket.

I was thinking of staying in and watching the darts.

I was very excited.

I wasn't... wrong about you, was I, Roy?

I went to school with her. Wonder how she's doing?

I will just get some of my coats.

I wish there was an easier way of saying that,

I wonder if it's loaded.

I work here!

I work here! I fucking work here!

I work in IT!

I would be beholden to you.

I would like to stay in touch with you...

I would say that's maybe even a better idea than the fun run idea.

I would say that's more of a threatening look, actually.

I would, if I was a weirdy beardy magiciany man.

I wrote it down and it turned into a poem.

I. Don't. Trust. You.

I... I love... I love this song.

I'd be furious and not just because I'm actually an IT consultant.

I'd better make sure she's all right.

I'd just give anything if Dave could have a normal life.

I'll do Moss first.

I'll get them out eventually

I'll have another one, please.

I'll just go and see how they are.

I'll never see that £20 again!

I'll see you later. I've still got a lot of work to do.

I'll stay with him, make sure he's OK.

I'll tell you what, let's just do some quickfire questions.

I'll tell you what, Roy, keep at it. That's your homework. Moss...

I'm 95% sure it was him.

I'm 97% sure it was him.

I'm a bit of a design freak, but it's beautiful...

I'm a bully on the bench, and you're going to walk past me.

I'm a little bit scared and I want to leave.

I'm a professional tennis player.

I'm afraid our adventure has come to an end.

I'm alive!

I'm April Shepherd. You're being made Richest magazine's Man of the Year.

I'm back!

I'm certainly looking forward to hearing what she has to say.

I'm coming, Father. I'm ready.

I'm dead! Oh!

I'm enjoying an evening out with my woman.

I'm fine.

I'm free at last.

I'm funny. Why can't I be over there making them laugh?

I'm going to do what you said tell her I'm just not interested in her.

I'm going to start dressing even more provocatively.

I'm going to... Where's Moss? I'm going to finish this bitch off, Moss!

I'm holding you personally responsible.

I'm in

I'm in my happy place. I'm in my happy place.

I'm in my happy place. I'm in my happy place. I'm in my happy place. I'm in my happy place.

I'm just answering all my Friendface messages.

I'm just trying to help you, Michael.

I'm no Truman Capote.

I'm not from Iran.

I'm only joking, you muppet!

I'm pretty sure it was one of those programmes.

I'm pretty sure that the guy on the programme was black.

I'm really pleased we've had this conversation.

I'm really sorry. I... I hope you don't feel I deceived you.

I'm sad to say that the only secure route to a knighthood in this sorry age

I'm so special. I... No... I...

I'm sorry, are you going to read a poem now?

I'm sorry, but you were getting hysterical.

I'm sorry, it's beyond my control.

I'm sorry, Michael, it's over.

I'm sorry, what was the question?

I'm sorry.

I'm sure you boys will understand.

I'm too busy managing one man whose idea of an adult night out

I'm trying to build up a picture of your role in Reynholm Industries.

I'm trying to stop you having a piddle party in my house!

I'm up against the boss now.

I'm very flattered, Douglas, but, erm...

I'm very worried about that!

I'm worried they'll find out I don't know what a pony is.

I'm your man. You're sure everything with the money is OK?

I've always thought it was about 60/40.

I've been gone a week!

I've been planning that for ages. The look on your face!

I've been speaking too much cockney and it's done my blooming neck in.

I've done it! Oh! I've done it.

I've got a flipping gun! I've got a flipping gun!

I've got a gun! I've got a ruddy gun!

I've got a mother flipping gun! I've got a mother flipping gun!

I've got to thank you, Jen, for not taking this matter any further.

I've had a lot of hormone therapy and a number of operations.

I've heard everything they've ever done.

I've heard that. Even if it isn't, I appreciate it, Roy,

I've let my heart overpower my head, which is my wont.

I've never been very good with words, so...

I've often found that the best solution is the simplest.

I've often wondered, but I never thought to ask.

Ich. Bin. Ein. Nerd.

Idiot.

If I had a pound for every bloody woman... Arh!

If it were me, I would like to know the truth.

If it's sexy women, it's not fun; it's oppression.

If it's unemployed men or old ladies from Yorkshire, it's fun.

If there's anything you guys want to say, I can put it in, it's no problem.

If this calendar doesn't make a million pounds,

If this went to court, it'd be your word against mine

If we'd stuck together, we might have made some real money.

If you can give us a couple of minutes.

If you trust me, then offer to write that speech.

In a beaker?

In a... in a... in a weird way that friends... friends usually click.

In October we've got to have a Halloween theme...

In Paris.

In the sweet flip switch I've installed.

Incoming message!

Is because I suffer from short sightedness

Is it... That's a bit of a silly question

Is Laser Quest followed by pornography,

Is that a stupid question?

Is that all right?

Is that what's actually going to happen?

Is this the guy? I need to know. I can't sit here all day staring at him.

Is to live the life of your dreams"

Is via charity work.

Isn't it great the way Friendface brings people together?

Isn't it just so funny and interesting that I don't have a shirt on?!

Isn't it lucky to see an Irishman

Isn't it? It's one of my favourites, actually.

It becomes this big thing between us.

It bothers you that I used to be a man!

It can wait till tomorrow.

It certainly helped me learn how to buy sandwiches.

It doesn't impair eyesight,

It might be a great way to meet women.

It might be worth looking at ourselves and saying,

It really looked like him, Jen. I'm 80% sure it's him.

It says so in the terms and agreements.

It sounds like you really hurt this girl's feelings.

It stands for audacity.

It stands for courage in the face of...

It stands for...

It stands for... commitment.

It takes all sorts to make a world.

It was great seeing your profile pop up on Friendface

It was like breaking up with the Joker.

It was what you said about Scrabble. I'm in a game now.

It wasn't my fault!

It wasn't Watson.

It would appear that you do very little around here.

It wouldn't feel so strange that I look like a magician.

IT?

It'd be awful if I just listed all our successful friends

It's a bit long for that.

It's a celebration. You've just discovered penicillin.

It's a giant spider shooting out all these little baby spiders. That's brilliant.

It's a little bit complimentary, but we'll work on it.

It's a lovely restaurant.

It's a very kind thing you're doing, very generous, very charitable.

It's a very serious condition.

It's all I've got. And it's 50p more than that story deserves

It's been horrible!

It's better I just get it back now before

It's brilliantly easy to spy on people these days.

It's everything.

It's going to be hilarious.

It's going to be rude. It's going to be sexy.

It's got a pronunciation guide or pronunciation guide.

It's got to be something big.

It's great. I only use it so I can talk to the postman.

It's great. I only use it so I can talk to the postman.

It's hard to tell with your mad eyes

It's hot. It's a hot lab. Because of all the... fusion.

It's just a big bloody pain in the arse thing that I might do.

It's just a private project I'm doing that's private.

It's just a private project I'm doing that's private.

It's just a thing.

It's just another way of shoving advertising in your face, Jen.

It's just... Dave.

It's like being Tased in the balls.

It's like being Tased in the balls.

It's madness!

It's Moss.

It's no problem. Oh, is it an automatic?

It's not funny, Jen.

It's not going on my CV. But every man has a story like this.

It's not gonna work out.

It's not like you live in the truck.

It's only fair that I be completely honest with you. The truth is...

It's over, April!

It's so small!

It's still high.

It's the name of a new restaurant in Hull.

It's too real, Roy! It's too real!

It's true, I did want you. At one point you were the one that I wanted.

It's wireless.

Jaws.

Jen locks him in with Moss and Roy,

Jen, bear with me one moment. Someone's trying to get through on the other line.

Jen, can I call you back? Jen's trying to get through on the other line.

Jen, don't get too obsessed by that.

Jen, hi. I just wanted you to know

Jen, how can you be keeping an eye on him

Jen, I didn't bring his weight into it!

Jen, I know what it's like, lending money.

Jen, I will help you out, but I need you to play along with me

Jen, I'd love to help you, but it's a real pain

Jen, I'm going home now. It's nearly 7:30.

Jen, just relax, OK?

Jen, sorry about that.

Jen, who is this joker?

Jen, why don't you tell them all about your bionic arm?