The Simpsons - Season 21 Edit

A baby whale.

A beached whale!

A bird eating potato chips,

A biweekly human interest columnist.

A box? No way!

A branch must have knocked out the power lines.

A brand new side of you me.

A break from you?

A brilliant little boy receives an "A"

A brown hair... Megan!

A Buddhist!

A bump named seymour!

A chance of severe thunderstorms

A chance to be the kind of boss I want to be.

A Christmas goose, Spanish lemons,

A churro you can eat in the shower?

A couple of patrollers spotted us.

A credenza?

A crispy chicken sandwich and a wonderful blue pill.

A deal's a deal, little sister.

A deal's a deal, little sister.

A desperate plea for affection,

A dime?!

A disc?!

A double funeral!

A fat baby,

A female that gives birth to alcohol.

A few more minor adjustments, and...

A fitting epitaph.

A fortune cookie...

A garage stuffed to the rafters with illegal fireworks!

A genetic "chosen one," if you will.

A gig? Don't take it personally, home team.

A half man, half bug that knows what's best for everybody.

A hamburger!

A letter's coming from school, and I need to be home

A license plate from Canada,

A little late or not at all.

A little ler...

A little more... employee friendly.

A little schmutz, a little schmear, and presto!

A little!

A little.

A little.

A lot of his time.

A lot of people sound like Sideshow Bob.

A lot of people think bullies are born awesome,

A lot of suicides in that group

A lot of things come and go in life, But not fame and fitness.

A matching pair.

A medical plan that covers illness,

A million dollars!

A million dollars?

A mirror that gives me advice?

A montage of me turning a ragtag little league team into state runners up?

A new co star?!

A new washing machine?

A nice new family adopted him.

A phony bird call?! That means Marge is coming!

A phony bird call?! That means Marge is coming!

A place to meet... Some snacks...

A pleasant surprise.

A prank that changed Skinner from cool to tool.

A prankster that awesome

A promoter has arrived

A Rastafarian, and he's comin' back up on ya!

A Rastafarian, and he's comin' back up on ya!

A real life Jaws bit off my dad's wiener.

A romantic dinner?

A sand horse: car of the desert!

A shark's reptilian brain understands only one thing...

A shirt that says "Yo!"

A snow plow is coming to seal us in.

A sport that encourages hand holding.

A ten year old can't adopt a child.

A toaster wide enough for bagels.

A town where everyone's got a story.

A truckload of applesauce! Eh...

A VH 60N Whitehawk!

A wakeup call for all of us.

A wedding is a complex thing, Bart.

A week?

A whale needs help!

A woman her age married to a man of...

A woman sunbathing topless on R 15!

A word about today's show.

A young innocent, into their evil coven.

A'ight, a'ight, you know what?

A647253,

Aah, it's the boogeyman!

Aah!

Aah!

Aah! Blasted Wiggum! How did you find us?

Aah! What was that? Your other hand.

Abe can't come to the phone right now

Abe passed away peacefully in his sleep."

Abe, I never knew you were so full of...

ABE: And if this is Homer, you're too late for my love.

ABE: You've reached Abe.

About an Eliza Simpson, but I did find this.

About being drunk outdoors.

About brothers, and you ruined it.

About California or Los Angeles?

About our family and Virgil.

About performing in front of all those people.

About this fantastic new sandwich?

About Virgil.

About washington crossing the delaware.

About you doing bad things, you stupid kid!

Abraham Lincoln?! (gasps)

Absolutely! All you have to do Is tell your army of internet dweebs

Absolutely.

Acceptable.

According to the only honest newspaper:

Ach. Take it outside, lassie.

Activity and exercise.

Actually, after taxes,

Actually, Drederick and I are very good friends.

Actually, God made some fish

Actually, I like it.

Actually, I'm here to help you.

Actually, it's called "curling."

Actually, Milhouse and I are next.

Actually, those were carl's shirts.

Adam and Eve Simpson,

Afro Cuban?

After 11 years, the thrill is gone.

After all my years of stock jobbing, gun running, attempted murder,

After I perjured myself for him during a deposition.

After it goes down at night?

After sex, I'm not talking to you.

After the heart and brain have been

After the title page, it's Bob Dole's memoirs.

After them! Obviously.

After this, it will be featured

After we see the stations of the omelet bar.

After work.

After work.

After you try some of my wheel cakes.

After you.

Again with the blonde!

Ah, a peaceful Saturday afternoon,

Ah, good enough.

Ah, got it!

Ah, Halloween:

Ah, here come the witches.

Ah, here we are. A delightful buttermilk

Ah, here we go.

Ah, I got you now.

Ah, I was just doin' what comes naturally to me;

Ah, I'd rather be a happy schnook than a noble shlumpf.

Ah, they all suck.

Ah, they shouldn't be playing quidditch at all.

Ah, yes, Jerusalem syndrome:

Ah, you guys are the meanest parents ever.

Ah!

Ah!

Ah! Here it comes.

Ah! Okay, I'll talk.

Ah.

Ah.

Ah. Fatov.

Ah...

Ahh, oily!

Ahh! A beating stick!

Ain't nobody gonna take my H from me.

Albania!

Algeria!

Algeria!

Alive!

All (chanting): Burn the witch! Burn the witch!

All aboard the final run of the Tinseltown Starliner,

All dad needs to do is put his stone

All for you.

All he does is reminisce about his pranks.

All her monogrammed table linens.

All her monogrammed table linens.

All I've had are my meals. And the worst thing is,

All in favor say, "I have sex with animals."

All low level criminals from our prisons.

ALL Moe! Moe! Moe!

All of 'em. What is this, tough love?

All of the awful movies we see now today

All of you, out of my office.

All over the world, I was a high achiever.

All panic!

All parents eventually commit the heinous act of love.

All right

All right, all right, um, your ankle goes there...

All right, Andy.

All right, Bart.

All right, boys.

All right, buddy, I'm gonna do to you

All right, calm down there, 'Pu and She Pu.

All right, here it is.

All right, I put in a hundred hour work week,

All right, I'll tell ya.

All right, I'll watch a DVD.

All right, it's all hooked up.

All right, new kids,

All right, step away from the old masters

All right, Walt Warren.

All right, what's our next big summer franchise? Come on.

All right, who's my next sexy historical lady?

All right! All right!

All right.

All right. Let me get my tool belt.

All set to go to the state finals.

All set to pick the new you.

All thanks to The Answer!

All thanks to... The Answer.

All that's left is to pick Junior up from school.

All the good men are either gay or have no face.

All the time.

All your money and influence don't mean nothin' on the inside.

ALL: * He washed his face in the frying pan *

All: Boo!

All: Oh, queen of magic, show our persecutors that they are blind.

All's quiet in Murder Town.

Allied forces will land on the beaches of Normandy

Almond butter, soy milk,

Along with the victims of the Great Whale Explosion.

Also go temporarily blind.

Also known as supervisor for sector 7 g.

Also, could you tell her I'm dumping her?

Also, where your Jesus,

Alternate sources of energy.

Alternative Energy Expo.

Although he can still

Although her brown hair makes a persuasive case.

Although I guess this would teach her sharing and caring,

Although I won't read screenplays.

Although Ive that song "Ramblin' Man" by The Allman Brothers.

Although there were a few holes in the story.

Always Act According to A.B.C.

Always Be Considering P.B. and J.

Always happy to help the newbies.

Am I off the hook?

Amazing fantasy #15?!

Amazing.

Amelia, at the Homework Factory!

America's Drunkest Nobody, Let's Make a Veal...

America's Drunkest Nobody, Let's Make a Veal...

America's going to learn just what sort of man you are.

America's Ripest Bananas, So You Think You Can Judge,

American Idol, Dancing With Cars of the Stars,

An ancient ritual in celebration of the full moon.

An appointment with your parents.

An elephant tried to eat me like a peanut.

An F?!

An F. An F!

An ice cube with a fly in it.

An invisible dog.

An M.E.D. from Tufts?

An outrageous beard contest I'm in tonight.

An unattended tap!

An unattended tap!

And a "Tuskegee Airmen" to go.

And a bad influence on our young people.

And a one, and a two...

And a Simpson never gives up

And a suggestion box that is no longer a guillotine for the hand.

And afterwards there'll be beer and cocoa,

And all the photos in your camera are of funny soda pops?!

And all we had to do was let Bart take a bath in our food.

And an extra,

And as a convenience store owner, I am armed to the teeth.

And as long as I'm asleep, I'm going to have some fun.

And Bart, maybe Charlie can't be your little brother,

And because I know you... like your loafers light,

And blood of their savior?

And bones and saws and lungs and faces worn as hats.

And book me dinner at that place.

And brutally honest lyrics of what they had just seen.

And buy you clothes.

And by then, he was the twisted monster you see today.

And call.

And can you read me a story... that you write yourself?

And change that four out of five to five out of five?

And do not send her friendly e mails.

And don't forget,

And done.

And drag her into a cave?

And drink the hairs in a cup of cocoa.

And due to budget cuts, until Edna comes back,

And even if we did have another baby,

And even she left me.

And even though that ticket won a million dollars...

And every month is me.

And everyone's got problems,

And everything in between.

And finally, because this show now has more judges

And five, and six... oh, yeah!

And flash drives for your PC so you can take your data and

And for God's sake, suck in that pooch.

And found a peace and serenity I'd never known.

And four more muffin stores just opened on this block!

And four obtuse angles over, weighing in at 115 pounds,

And friended us on Facebook.

And from now on, Wi Fi in this neighborhood is on me.

And get me seats to hockey games.

And good girls are seen and not heard.

And got one of his shoes in the settlement.

And got you fired.

And grab a bite with me.

And Grave Robbers of Orange County.

And hard pore corn.

And harmony got into your collection?

And hassle people with the spotlight?

And have no desire to find out.

And he covered his sister's doll

And he hits me with some super neglect.

And he should be. He's got a great dad.

And he'll be all over you like truffaut on hitchcock.

And he's a very nice man.

And he's, like, "I'm your boss!"

And her husband don't realize how upset she is with him.

And here he is after the gap.

And here is "shoot the moon."

And here we are.

And here's a little something to help with his grades.

And hints of game.

And his last wife, Eartha Kitt,

And homemade, organic, non gluten,

And homer said to kick harder off the hack.

And Homer, put on some pants.

And how do you like L.A.?

And how many days detention he got.

And how!

And hungry and horny,

And hungry and horny,

And I ain't gonna start now.

And I always will be!

And I came here every day to make sure you pulled through.

And I can no longer make judgments about nothin'.

And I can spend my Mother's Day taking care of something

And I can tell you, women don't mean anything by anything.

And I can't even help the woman who gave birth to me.

And I detect notes of elderberry, tobacco, oak

And I even got rainbow sprinkles.

And I file away Grampa's stories in a very special place.

And I get to hire my friends.

And I got a great one.

And I got a spleenful!

And I got revenge on Hoover for you?

And I have a task ahead of me which requires a firm hand.

And I have an extra ticket to today's baseball game.

And I I found an emerson, lake, and palmer...

And I know you really want to be a good girl,

And I mixed all the spices together into one super spice!

And I promise you, I will not leave this job

And I should know I produced bad summer movie, The parody of bad summer movies

And I walked out free as a bird.

And I was one of the few who saw that dream realized on screen last night.

And I will find it, even if I have to go back to Adam and Eve.

And I will never tell you what they are.

And I won't give a struggling young comic his first chance,

And I wrote that letter so you three chumps would realize

And I... Am... Everyman.

And I'm a seattle's best guy,

And I'm always packing heat.

And I'm having a stink bomb party

And I'm not a locksmith.

And I'm not feeling the rush.

And I'm pretty bad.

And I'm taking all the exciting colors out of your crayons.

And I'm, like, "I quit."

And I'm, like, "Why, dude?"

And I've been learning to speak mandarin chinese.

And I've realized our marriage is more important

And if he leaves, you'll be free and happy, like us.

And if I ever see you in these parts again...

And if I win, I have to play the challenger,

And if Mom and Dad want a little privacy,

And if there's one thing I can't stand,

And if they did, I wouldn't want to see it.

And if you get hungry, there's lobster

And if you see anybody I've screwed over on the way,

And if, from now till the end of time,

And ikilledkenny6475.

And in case we run into trouble...

And in my judge judgment,

And in this economy, elsewhere ain't hiring.

And isn't most electricity in the United States

And it begins, "Dear Midge:

And it comes with a story.

And it got sat on by this.

And it looks like

And it reverts back to me after six months if you're not dead.

And it was all...

And it's a straight shot home.

And it's got plenty of room for all of Mrs. Mel's shopping.

And it's Mother's Day, so call your ma

And it's not over yet.

And just what might that be?

And kick 'em over here. Come on.

And kick it over here.

And leave them where they'll find them?

And let the bleeding heart liberals ask questions later.

And look, some idiot left glue loosener

And Low Blow Boxing for the guys

And made my way to the stables,

And make me the super.

And make sure she gets a fruit cup on the side.

And muslims believe something, too.

And my husband is a federal prosecutor,

And my worst friend?

And neither of us is happy.

And nighty night to you.

And no dream will convince me I do.

And no laws can touch you.

And no TV.

And not all old people are bad drivers.

And nothing keeps me informed like Rodeo Rick's Ne Roundup

And now I am free to sing all

And now I can buy back all the blood I sold!

And now I can really hear how I bomb!

And now I'm rarin' to go.

And now I'm telling you.

And now I'm the one who has to ask:

And now you're probably wondering, what's this all building to?

And now you're the most elegant and popular woman in the world!

And now,

And now, as our teakettle starts to toot,

And now, Duffman has a dinner date

And now, just put your pearls back on,

And now, let me gaze with reverence

And now, let's continue with this mockery.

And now, making his debut on the catwalk,

And now, marge's secret benefactor

And now, not competing but observing:

And now, owned by one of the ugliest families

And now, this lucky reporter will be the first human

And now, your evil is gone!

And now!

And of course, Springfield Elementary is closed.

And one for Mom.

And one of them she deserved.

And one Princess Leia.

And one Thanksgiving hand turkey.

And only one site is sacred to muslims, christians and ****:

And other cops just remind us of things we want to forget.

And over again: Bonk it.

And partially hydrogenated oils.

And people will remember you were there?

And picnic where the bodies were once stacked like cordwood

And pop discs in spine like bubble wrap.

And put him onstage under the name

And put this indelible olympic moment in.

And put your hands up there, mister.

And realize life is cool but how?

And sc****d it off on the beach.

And see how laid back you are?

And send! And sip.

And set it in the ocean,

And sexy. Heroic!

And share their deadly germs.

And she starts Monday. What?!

And she's trying to throw us off the scent.

And sinister smiles.

And Skinners.

And snuggle dice.

And so far it's going great.

And so it is me.

And so our Employee of the Month

And so, it is with regret I announce the following cost cutting measures:

And soda gets its pop,

And some of the sharks.

And spending it on that no good floor.

And spread some shekels with my Carolina Panthers credit card.

And suddenly, people think that's all hillbillies do.

And sure I got into great shape And met some fun people,

And surrounded by the people I love the most in the

And swear you will try your best.

And tell her she's ugly!

And tell people I did the plan.

And thank wonder woman for giving me the boobs

And thank you again for the challenge of Homer Simpson

And that flower is an angry Japanese monster named Godzilla.

And that is why hybrid car buyers should be given rebates

And that is why I sound like Hugh Grant.

And that lasted for about five years.

And that reward will be in the form of a severe punishment.

And that's how you win an opium war.

And that's only if I give her the sad puppy dog look.

And that's where we came in.

And that's why I earn less than my white co workers.

And that's why I found Good Night, Gorilla

And that's why school uniforms should not be mandatory.

And the dishwasher's on! What's going on here?

And the first beer's on me.

And the first for "Princess Penelope,"

And the glasses smell like the last guy who wore them had pizza.

And the grasshopperaptor we built

And the insane asylum have their annual mixer.

And the life lesson is?

And the one he was awake, was a cat tastrophe.

And the the prison Beatles' tribute band.

And the whole congregation has seen my scandinavian regions.

And their son, Abraham Simpson,

And then did the same bad thing to another teacher

And then I came over to fix things with Manjula

And then I found... The Answer.

And then I ran into the candy machine,

And then to steal them from a public museum

And then uncle kevin would have to raise us.

And then when you hit that "to you", dude, that was the bomb.

And then when you're old and alone,

And there was a...

And there's a map of the subway system attached

And there's more, but my fax machine ran out of ink, so I can't read it.

And there's no hard feelings? Nope.

And they are over the moon with joy.

And they don't put product in their hair like this loser.

And they made me feel like I belonged.

And they spend all day eating bonbons and watching General Hospital.

And they work.

And think Everyman would make a fantastic movie.

And this room isn't really the best place for Maggie to hang out.

And those do not arrive the way that they left.

And throw in a couple of wildebeests.

And to his disciples, saying..."

And to me, the word "spare" reeks of second best.

And todd took a full day to tell me.

And torture and guts and...

And trying to figure out how girls pee.

And turn that upside down.

And upset jellyfish mating rituals.

And walk you out to sea before that happened.

And wave good bye to fat you.

And we are not the same.

And we can sit at the same table.

And we can't afford the $400 to fix it.

And we didn't need any cardboard kids.

And we have released

And we have to cut costs.

And we hid him away

And we know all about you.

And we will make you regret the day your son was born.

And we'll go get some coffee.

And we'll have the rest of the weekend to...

And we're 1/64th black.

And we're going to enjoy the movie.

And we're out in the woods and everything, and...

And what I saw wasn't pretty.

And what if I don't?

And when his mom gets home from work,

And when it comes to signing bills,

And when you wag your tail, it really lights up a room.

And when you're out of my sight, you must constantly Twitter me

And where there's exotic fish, there's got to be a...

And where you will meet your doom.

And work twice as hard on our marriage.

And you are the greatest thing that's ever happened to me.

And you be the daddy.

And you can feel good about eating here, too.

And you can't escape the word

And you cope by cramming a donut in your mouth.

And you don't want them to be too screwed up.

And you got me fired!

And you kids can spend the day getting to know your father.

And you kids in the studio audience,

And you should stop reading right there.

And you should've seen the look on Hoover's face.

And you, find my doctor and ask him why I'd ask for something

And you're not ruining it.

And you're that mythical creature

And your father's gonna make me a fortune.

And, Lord, thank you for letting me see

And, mom, if you punch him in the junk, You'll get no disrespect from me.

And, now... Let's begin to rumba!

And, of course, the fake heart attack

And, um, I didn't know you could rent a balloon.

And?

And... Action!

And... Action!

And... begin.

And... Cut.

And... finished.

And... Fit.

Andrew, I wanted to show you something

Andy Hamilton.

Andy, man, is this the way

Angelo stood me up on date night, so I showed him:

Angelo stood me up on date night, so I showed him:

Angola.

Announcer : Who you gonna call?

ANNOUNCER: Attention, exploro nauts!

ANNOUNCER: Available wherever dubious,

Annoying lady, you make a great point.

Another cup of coffee, handsome? It's on the house.

Another politician who can't keep his promises.

Another round of waters in your finest paper cups!

Another sister?!

Another Springfield family

Another tie.

Another weekend with him.

Ants have six legs, Bart.

Any idea where he might be?

Any physical contact violates our school's no touch policy.

Any regrets?

Anybody want to return these caveman kudos

Anyone without a ticket will be beaten

Anything at all!

Anytime.

Anyway, here's my little tale

Anyway, I'm really hoping you could...

Anyway, think no more about it.

Anyway, we're giving you a new female co star

Apparently someone switched your face with a butt.

Apparently, the people she hired to deprogram her sister from that cult

Apu, how did you survive?

Apu, I have to lose weight now. Do you have anything that'll make me vomit?

Apu, our marriage will never be easy.

Are all stuck in one small room, and..

Are going to have your way with me, huh?

Are in any way inferior to white sheep.

Are no longer among us, their truth goes marching on.

Are slaughtered every year to make shark fin soup?

Are there spring snakes in this can?

Are these business cards

Are those who can afford

Are we talkin' about here?

Are ya happy?

Are you a minority group

Are you calling me fat?

Are you from the orphanage,

Are you gonna turn us in?

Are you here to teach me, or to kill me?

Are you saying there was a kid who was worse than me?

Are you seein' what I'm seein' here?

Are you sure this'll work?

Are you sure you're okay?

Are you sure?

Are you sure? I thought I saw his...

Are you talking about your father?

Are you telling me you memorized that fact

Are you writing this down, Fritz?

Aren't teachers the worst?

Aren't teachers the worst?

Argentina!

As a minor offender,

As a reward for good work.

As an avid organic gardener, I've read your blog.

As an eight year old girl in 21st century America,

As an extra in Du Barry, Woman Of Passion.

As citizens, we are still bound by the rule of law.

As defined by ivy league admissions?

As far as Mom and Dad know,

As I told you, we don't have any books

As if it's your last.

As long as it's not a du!

As my new second assistant,

As part of the stimulus package.

As teammates control the direction and speed of the stone

As teammates control the direction and speed of the stone

As the town's bartender, I know everyone's problems.

As the writer, I demand to express my opinion.

As to whether he'll use his middle name.

As we made our way northward,

As we make use of every part of her body,

As you all know, last year's cake and cookie sale raised

As you wish. But look not upon her with lust,

As your spiritual advisor,

Ask him.

Asterisk!

Asterisk! Asterisk!

Asterisk! Asterisk! Lisa,

Astonishing news out of eau claire, wisconsin.

At 1:17 p.m. on its way to Hollywood.

At 7:07 last night.

At a very romantic hotel.

At America's favorite drop the gumdrop!

At both extremes hot and cold.

At Colonel Burns's plantation."

At half the price in natural lighting!

At least I thought so till now.

At least I'd get a chair.

At least in hell, the heat still works.

At least in other sports,

At least that's what the letter said.

At least they're learning their fractions.

At least we got to be friends again, you know,

At least you get to see my face unlike carl.

At night, there is music and laughter.

At once! Do you hear me?!

At Springfield Union Station.

At the 1976 Olympics or spending her summers at Holyrood Palace,

At the end of aisle ways.

At the expense of an ugly dog.

At the house next to janey's.

At the National Reading Roundup.

At the one place that doesn't serve beer.

At the same time as his astronomer.

At these gelatin desserts for 15 minutes. Pick one!

Atlanta burns, nice dresses. I like it!

Attacking me outside school hours and property.

Attempting to blind themselves. Against every animal instinct they had.

Attention all units

Attention, christians, muslims, and ****:

Audacity of hope. Let me be clear.

Avert your eyes from my wrinkly arms!

Avery, I swear, you're the only man in gothamopolis

Avoid them!

Aw, come on, Marge

Aw, did the chosen one hurt his chosen little noggin?

Aw, don't cry, meat pie.

Aw, man, you know you're a loser

Aw, that's sweet!

Aw.

Awesome breakfast, Marge.

Awesome performance, homer. I smell oscar.

Awesome picture.

Awesome, they made a sequel to Sever IV.

Awesome. You finally made my room cool.

Ay carumba, you little snot.

Ay carumba!

Ay, caramba!

Ay, caramba!

Ay, caramba.

Ay, caramba.

Ay, there's no better feeling on earth.

Babe didrikson zaharias.

Babies?

Back into the family photos.

Back it up!

Back off!

Back to the horses. Back to the horses!

Back up, everybody. But not too much.

Back when I wrestled at Yale, I was in the lightest weight category

Backside!

Backwards "e".

Backwards, homer."

Bad dog, stop!

Bad friend. Bad friend. Bad friend.

Bad Wolf!

Bad!

Banana hot dog.

Banana strings, muffin liners

Banned for life?

Barely saw my family again.

Barn, thanks for picking up the money for me.

BART (echoing): It's dark down here!

Bart ate a tainted burger!

Bart can definitely be a challenge,

Bart can fend for himself.

Bart has always been what we educators term a no goodnik.

Bart has been sharing a desk with their daughter, Nikki.

Bart Simpson kissed me.

Bart Simpson, are you a drug o?