Randy Marsh Mobile Soundboard Edit

A marriage has to include fulfillments of fantasy and desire, sometimes. Magna Cube. What the hell is a Magma Cube?

A what?

All right, look, I took a temp job at the mall. I just wanted to make some extra holiday cash.

All right, Sharon.

All right.

And fries.

And he did not deserve to get beheaded like that.

And there's more where that came from.

Aren't you supposed to be in school?

But you're wrong.

Buzz buzz buzz buzz buzz buzz.

Can you explain to us how you managed to spend $489 on a mobile app?

Chicken Nuggets.

Come on, that's impossible.

Come on, you guys want to see it?

Commander Marsh.

Even if I hired someone else to kill her, I'd have to kill that person too, because 96% of the time that person eventually tells the truth. I thought this through a lot.

Everybody really likes you.

Eww. Gross.

Excuse me?

Fucking asshole.

Get off my ass, Dick hole.

Get off your high fucking horse.

Haha, Sharon. OK, I get it.

Hang on.

He does movies and he can sing and he's totally cool to his parents.

He worked on Black Friday.

Hello everyone, I'm Randy Marsh.

Hi umm yes my name is Randy Marsh and umm we would like to try and get a Whole Foods in our town.

Hi, I'm Randy Marsh.

How do you tame a horse in Minecraft?

How do you tame a horse in Minecraft?

How you doing?

Huh. That's weird.

I am Lord.

I can't touch you or hug you, but I'm right with you. Do you understand?

I don't get it.

I found out where the horses, now I just gotta figure out how to tame one.

I just don't want to every time I shop for food.

I love you too.

I miss being intimate with you. Everything was so passionate and then it just dropped off. I feel like we're losing our bond.

I thought this rue a lot.

I Tri。

I used this program to import the recordings I make on my phone.

I want to kill you now.

I want you to see this.

I was in jail for the night and, well, I guess I don't know, just don't drink. But if you must drink, definitely don't drive. I've definitely learned that first hand.

I was stupid one night and drank too much and then drove a car. That was dumb and I'm not gonna do it again.

I wish I could. I wish I could live with Jaden Smith so I could be rich and I wouldn't have to live in a boring, sexless marriage where all your mom and I do is piss each other off.

I'm just trying to earn some extra holiday cash.

I'm Randy and I'm an alcoholic.

I'm sorry I don't speak Asian, but oh oh Yao yaoi yaoi, yes boys or whatever. How how does that work?

I'm sorry, I don't know what that is.

I'm sorry.

I've got a disease, alcoholism. It's pretty serious.

I've joined a social awareness group.

Is it really as bad as they say it is?

It started off so simple. There's a guy at work, Hanson. He would use the bathroom and just blow the thing up. You know? Not only that, but he was in there all the time. I finally got fed up. I pre...

It'd be impossible to clear away all the DNA evidence anyway.

It's a coalition that discourages the use of words that have negative or offensive connotations to grant respect to people who are victims of unfair stereotypes.

It's a little boring around here.

It's all right.

It's Halloween.

It's not like other video games. I really don't get it. It was all retro and like Legos. But then a bunch of kids online called me a griefer and kicked me off.

It's OK, Beyoncé. The fight's over. You can still shop.

Jaden Smith lets his parents do whatever they want.

Jesus, you stuck a pickaxe right in my skull.

Lanskin.

Let cock magic be done by the professionals.

Look, I give money to charity a lot, OK?

Look, if our kids can block content, then you must be able to block them.

Look, Thomas, you need to understand that being gay isn't a decision. You know, a lot of people think that Asians decide who's gay and who's not, but it isn't all Asians. It's just specifically the...

Look, we were told that you were available for hire and were desperate.

Magic is making a comeback.

Marcus.

Marsh.

Morning.

My house is nice.

My name is Randy Marsh.

My name's Randy.

No, I know. But it's like we're just good friends. A marriage has to be more than that.

No, no, no, no. It's not at all what you think it.

No, no.

No, no. None of our channels that have informative murder porn appear to be working.

No.

No.

Not Papa John's. I don't want to go to Papa John's. You can't maybe go to Papa George.

Now I ran into Nelson from work. We were at the bar watching the game, $2.00 Margaritas was great.

Now you know that I was one of the best back in college.

Now, I don't know about you, but I am sick and tired of getting to know people here, getting invested in their personalities and their back stories, and then having them die.

Now。

Oh crap.

Oh ha ha ha ha. I get it.

Oh no, my my fault.

Oh oh, you bitch.

Oh yeah, flick that bean, Yeah.

Oh yeah, I'll be fine. I got some beers to keep my buzz going.

Oh yeah, Oh yeah. Suck on that, Hollis.

Oh yeah? What's that?

Oh yeah. Oh, my clit. Oh yeah.

Oh, don't mind Randy. He's just losing his mind.

Oh, hey Sharon, you're up, huh?

Oh, I see.

Oh, it's Japan that decides. And Japan, of course, is who does the yaoi to make people gay?

Oh, it's just nothing to you, isn't it?

Oh, OK, great.

Oh, thanks.

OK, I'll wake you up if we get our murder porn back.

OK. Thanks. I get it.

OK. Yes, I understand.

Our content is being blocked and we need it now.

Our group is trying to be a civilizing influence where we discuss and have meetings to better define and reinforce tolerance and acceptance of all groups of people.

Peterson was a great guy.

Pro.

Punching trees.

Randy Marsh.

Sharon.

Shut up, Beers bad for you?

So you worked here last winter?

Sweet and sour sauce.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thanks for taking my call. I was just wondering if you could shed some light on how your people decide who will be gay and who will be straight.

Thanks。

That felt so good.

The statue of the Virgin Mary is bleeding out her ass.

They say her divine ass blood has miraculous healing power.

Uh-huh. Yes, that of course I do already know about homosexuality.

Uh, Stan.

We don't need informative murder porn to find passion in our marriage. We just have to get the spark back. Let's go away somewhere, me and you. Somewhere exciting and beautiful where we can just fo...

We have 100 ounces of silver.

We heard that you're willing to teach Minecraft to adults.

We'll see about this.

Well, all right. Good for you guys.

Well, I'm supposed to tell you kids about how bad drinking is? I did a little drinking and driving as part of my punishment. I'm doing community service work at schools like these.

Well, nobody's talking. Doesn't anyone have anything to talk about?

Well, that sucks.

What is Minecraft and how do you tame a horse in it?

What is the joy that this stuff possibly brings you?

What the effing fuck was that?

What the What the hell?

What you You think if we watch shows about married people killing each other all the time, we're going to go out and do it? That's stupid.

What？

What's your name?

Who the hell does this guy think he is?

Why do the Japanese make some people gay and others not? Well, it goes back to World War 2 and atrocities that happened in China called the **** of Don King.

Will you listen to me for five seconds?

Winter is coming, Sharon, and I'm a sneaky little bee. Buzz, buzz.

Yeah, hi. Oh, we aren't getting our informative murder porn.

Yeah, I got Lube right here.

Yeah, OK, I'm heading there now.

Yeah, the screen just says How do you tame a horse in Minecraft?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I am. Lord, yeah, yeah, yeah. Lord don't come in, Lord. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah.

Yes, it's South Park, Colorado.

Yes, that's right.

Yes, we do have children.

Yes.

Yes。

You heard me, you fucking piece of shit.

You know what, the guys at work, they took a bet on who would win in a fight. You were Jaden Smith and they all said Jaden Smith could kick your ass.

You know what? You and Emily.

You know, we live in a world of brutality and violence, and some people think there's no room for wonder anymore. Well, just for a moment, I want you to think one thing, whatever you believe is rea...

You need to realize that you have something in your brain that you somehow inherited from your grandpa that makes you act this way, OK?

You need to understand that being gay isn't a decision. You know, a lot of people think that Asians decide who's gay and who's not, but it isn't all Asians. It's just specifically the Japanese, OK?

You shouldn't drink because it leads to bad things.

You want to see how I do it?

You want to see my Dick?

You.

You're a fucking ass fuck piece of shit.

You're a lousy kid. I wish Jaden Smith was my son.

You're alive. I saved you.

89.

$26,000.

ジョン。

ノ。

はい。

ハロー。

ワッチ。

支援。

試験。