American Dad! - Season 12 Edit

A human tree father.

A never.

A specialist that's where the money is.

Aaaaaah!

Aaaaah!

Aaaah!

Aah!

Aah!

About to undergo an irreversible,

Actually, I get some great intel for Fikowski Asphalt.

Actually, uh, you know, I think I've changed my mi

After Fikowski drops out.

After that, I came back everyday after school.

Agreed.

All in favor?

All opposed?

All right.

All:

Allow me to get you off... the fence

Also, while I'm up here, my name isn't Old Man Hansen.

And and I don't have any ideas about how to stop them.

And a place I can put my driver's license.

And always remember your inner worth,

And even if I didn't...

And he's not gonna take me to Mountain Mike's Pizza.

And I say the key is still out there.

And I say we just break the glass

And I'll always cut them off.

And if you're still on the fence,

And it says it's been a three days since a you poop.

And it's actually quite liberating.

And it's all thanks to Roger.

And it's the sauciest pizza.

And no matter what, he kept me safe.

And now they're tearing us down to put in the new stadium.

And now, before us and God and the Langley charter,

And our championship basketball squad

And see what's happening.

And the indoor thrills are coming your way

And the record stops.

And then Mr. Smith said, That tree is my father,

And there already is.

And they need to be hogtied and thrown down a well!

And when he's reassembled,

And you better watch out for...

And you know what else has to move forward?

And, as usual, my dad, Jack, was the only one who didn't show up.

Are you familiar with the abominable sciences?

Arena Football is kind of lame.

Arena Football!

As the league welcomes its newest expansion team

Asking me not to pour asphalt?

At the height he was.

At which point, the stenographer blacked out from excitement

Aw!

Aye.

B b but what if I never grow again?

Bemberg, not silk.

But he goes on now to a greater purpose.

But I don't control anything around here.

But I stood strong.

But if I leave to save him, they're gonna cut you down.

But no go back.

But out of respect for our friendship,

But puts my ear to the stove for playing with the chickens.

But the purple one's prettier.

But then then I wasn't.

But to hell with how it sounds. Steve needs me.

But you stay with Petruchio.

By acting like the kind of fruit that grows on trees.

Can I offer you a temporary tattoo?

Can someone put grandpa to bed? I'm trying to talk here.

Carconi brothers pick up construction bid

Carconi brothers.

Come, be with me in my hour of triumph.

Coming.

Crime is a problem.

Dad to you?

Dad, get it together!

Damn it, Frankie!

Don't you think I know that?

Down to the town council meeting.

Dr. Kalgary, I've decided I Oh, you're with a patient.

Dumb Frankie.

Dumb. Dumb.

Even gave me my product.

Even when their kid's a stupid shorty?

Eventually I shot up 6 inches.

Everybody thinks so fast.

Fabulously risky, height boosting procedure.

Feeling a little tired of America's number one sport,

Finally! Yeah!

First up is Old Man Hansen.

Football?

For instance, I could have your soul

For the key.

Frankie gets the pizza.

Freddie says the budget's so tight

From an asphalt pouring standpoint.

Get lots of sleep, eat lots of veggies,

Get out of the way, you tree hugging fruit.

Gives me time to focus on all my other shit.

Go Lizards we have no indoor sports in this town.

God, they're pathetic!

Good people of Langley Falls,

Great cities have to move forward.

Hayley, who would have thought that between the two of us,

He doesn't know what he's talking about.

He has been and always will be there for me.

He helped me start my first business,

He never developed a relationship with a tree.

He runs asphalt in this town.

He taught me how to play catch.

He was so fast, Freddie.

He watched me grow.

He'll be exactly like the boy you remember,

He's gone!

His mighty roots connected me to something constant,

Hold on, son. I can climb up.

Honey, you've blown me away

Hooray.

How come I've never heard of this tree father before?

How comfortable are you with the serpent god Oxumaré?

How's that figure, you stupid mama?

I agree. But for whatever reason,

I also have unorthodox options.

I am not growing! Look!

I apologize to the council.

I ask you to join me

I ate some almonds. I'm good now.

I can do that for my tree dad.

I can't stop it.

I could boil your brain in gorilla hormones.

I didn't put my name on a list or anything.

I felt so alone.

I foster abused birds.

I guess...this is goodbye.

I have a dad who loves me.

I haven't grown in years.

I hope they let me speak.

I I I can't get into this right now.

I I just think we're, uh, rushing into things.

I is that unusual?

I kept asking you to bring me food.

I knew it would be you.

I know a doctor who specializes in growth treatments.

I know just how to play this guy.

I know this sounds crazy, but the tree raised me.

I know, we both miss him.

I love you, tree daddy.

I made a gay slur, then he threw it back in my face

I made us have our wedding there.

I move to cancel the stadium construction.

I need to grow.

I screw up a lot. Stupid Frankie.

I should probably talk to my dad about this.

I sling the hot stuff, the flat makings, the stone carpet.

I still have one shot to save the store.

I think we've all heard just about enough from Old Man H.

I think you can be his tree.

I used to be six inches tall.

I used to carve my height here on the bark.

I was just

I was just a little

I was just a little kid.

I'd be the first one to save a tree?

I'd like to go back on my previous statement.

I'd like to put a candle in it.

I'd like to think on it.

I'll get him down, Freddie.

I'll go and get on the roof of my store right

I'll withdraw my bid, kill the project, and save your tree.

I'm drowning in bulldozer invoices.

I'm here because it's come to my attention that I am not growing.

I'm just dumb old Frankie.

I'm looking for one of those snuggies with a built in diaper

I'm so sorry.

I'm sorry mama.

I'm sorry. You're right, sweetie.

I'm supposed to keep the yellow copy,

I'm sure you folks are hearing a lot of objections to the arena.

I'm talking Wilkes Barre, Harrisburg, Wilmington.

I've brought you there tons of time.

I've saved lots of trees.

If B.B. King had come to me, he would have never died...

If he lives.

If you do this, it would mean the death of my dad tree.

If you don't count our two hockey teams

If you must know, that tree...

In light of new facts and emotions,

In standing up to the no good crooks on our city council.

In the arena league mid Atlantic conference.

Inseam always a 20 inches.

Instead of continuing this preposterous 30 year search

Is a fine Bemberg lining, Mr. Steve.

Is approaching the tree now.

Is everyone comfortable?

It burns.

It could a be time to find the guy who killed my brother.

It doesn't matter, because...

It means he's half tree.

It obviously has something to do with that tree.

It sounds so stupid.

It wasn't supposed to be a hunger strike.

It's 'cause I'm in love with you.

It's Arena Football.

It's called the Smith Stall.

It's coming to the end of day 7 in

It's Dom Fikowski, the asphalt king.

It's gonna feel like we're on permanent vacation.

It's gonna take some getting used to.

It's important for Langley Falls

It's just Billy. He's part of the program.

It's like a father to me!

It's me, Dom Fikowski.

It's Olmen Olmen Hansen.

It's sounds like he could use some guidance, Stan.

It's Swedish. I'm 43.

It's time for us to join the ranks of the other great cities

It's too late.

It's what dads do.

Klaus made it sound like

Let me see that book.

Let's get real, you guys. Do we even want this stadium?

Look at me walk.

Look at this beautiful vision of the future.

Look out, Steve. I made things worse for you.

Look, if you really want to do something,

May his timber bring shelter to a deserving soul.

Mm, now, what is this lining?

Mom! That is disgusting.

Mr. Smith,

Mr. Smith,

Mr. Smith, I think we're ready to hear what you mean

Much can be done about your height.

My God, Stan.

My twin brother, Freddie's, the boss, and what he says goes.

Needs...

No go back!

Not ever buying or reading books is also a way of saving trees.

Not in two years.

Not super comfortable.

Not until you promise you won't cut it down.

Nothing's happening!

Now I'm daddy's favorite.

Now, come on. You can talk to us.

Of course I am.

Of course they'll let you, honey. You're tall.

Oh, God.

Oh, just some tree that's gonna be cut down

Oh, my God, Freddie, we can't chop down a tree

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God. I'm so tall.

Oh, my sweet flesh family.

Oh, Steve, that really ties into

Oh, yeah. And mama just loves Freddie.

Oh, yeah. I wanted to ask you There's no time.

Oh, you guys don't know?

Oh.

Oh.

Oh. I just thought you were a cheap asshole.

Okay. I'll tell you.

Old Man Hansen, do you sell Bazooka Sharks merchandise?

One of my success stories.

Only taller and with a lot more bones...

Ooh.

Oop, that weird Carconi brother

Order, order.

Please don't come if you're gonna support the stadium.

Please don't kill my tree daddy.

Please get down.

Please, don't cut down this tree!

Please, I could really use this.

Poor kid.

Pouring asphalt is what I do, Stan.

Put into the body of something taller.

Question is, what's the other half?

Roger, you can't build the stadium.

Run, Billy!

Seven days?

Sharks. Bazooka Sharks.

She lets him have sex with girls

Snot went nuts for me in Paisley.

So I will get tall.

So tedious.

So,

So, you think I'm a fruit, huh?

So, your twin brother is who I have to talk to?

Someone taught me how.

Something I could depend on,

Sorry. I'm a little nervous.

Stadium off...

Stan Smith, remove yourself from the tree immediately.

Stenographer, can you read those last parts back?

Steve will be sliced into pieces,

Steve, there's something I have to show you.

Steve, you want to talk?

Steve's with my associate, Dr. Kalgary,

Taking advantage of wait. Half off this bird cage?

Taxes, traffic, crime so much crime.

That blasted Arena Football team!

That changes everything.

That if you delay us just seven days,

That means the stadium's dead

That paper boy always finds me.

That tree is my father.

That's a great idea.

That's what I'm saying.

The average temperature around town is gonna go up 10 degrees.

The Black Knight!

The Carconi brothers are coming to tear you down.

The father son picnic.

The fuzz!

The Langley Falls Bazooka Sharks!

The sign outside needs to be updated.

The stadium is back on.

The whole thing'll be canceled, saving your stupid tree.

The world...

There's a town council meeting about the stadium tonight.

There's bone splicing, giraffe marrow transplant.

There's got to be a better way.

These bums are lining their pockets with their dirty deals,

They always get cold feet.

They are growing.

They go on to men's a department.

They're coming,

Think of the advantages

This extra deep one is from a few years

This lamp sucks. I'll give you 2 bucks for it.

This stadium cannot happen.

This tree, what was like a...

Time to see if your wings work, Billy!

To make way for the arena.

To protect our historic places.

To the Arena Football stadium.

To the races.

Tonight, eh? Oh, I'll be there.

Turns out magnolia juice is as poisonous as it is delicious.

Ugh, no.

Ugh. I really wanted this pour.

Uh, parades?

Unforgiving sideline barriers!

W well, despite...this, I still want the operation.

W what are you, uh

W what do you get out of this Frankie thing?

Wait, does he think he stopped growing?

Wait, what is this?

Water cannons!

We can't go back to a time before Arena Football.

We can't go back to the past.

We did it, tree dad. They're not gonna cut you down.

We got to send the crew home.

We need indoor sports for the times when it's raining!

We went to high school together!

We'll now hear the last of the community objections

We'll stick to surgery, then!

We're looking at two square miles of sizzling hot tarmac.

We're your town council. We love you.

We've been here three generations,

Well, Freddie says once the sun sets,

Well, then a fruit I shall become.

Well, you've been right about this kind of thing before.

Well?

What can I do for you today, little buddy?

What does that even mean?

What is really going on here?

What you were talking about earlier.

What?

What? What?

What's there to think about?

What's to become of you with the store closing, Petruchio?

When I was a boy,

When so often life is cruel and unreliable.

When the sun starts beating on it,

When you say this tree is your father.

Where I didn't grow at all.

Where's Steve?

Who's always telling everyone he's an honorary firefighter

Why would Steve do something like this?

With a homosexual man in it.

With all the balmy, roasting breezes,

With some free asphalt.

With the new parking lots alone,

With your commitment to this hunger strike.

Wonderful!

Wow. Parades isn't wrong.

Y you're telling me I'm not growing at all?

Y'all know me. Y'all know what I do.

Yeah, that's right. I know what this is about.

Yeah, when we flew to Hawaii last summer,

Yeah, where is Steve?

Yeah!

Yeah!

Yeah!

Yeah! Ah! Yeah!

Yeah! Yeah!

You bum, bum, bum. You hear the difference?

You are, simply put, the most electric speaker I've ever seen.

You can't tear down my tree father.

You do? Yep.

You have a human brother?

You have to cancel this project. You promised.

You just let some nut come in and open my plywood door?

You know Klaus?

You might have more immediate solutions.

You mysteriously reverse your position?

You poor old man.

You sat on dad's lap for free.

You see, all the other boys bum, bum, bum,

You want to do something about that skin?

You want to know the secret to growing?

You'll be able to look over any stall in the men's room

You'll never make it a week.

You're doing great.

You're gonna get tall.

You're here.

You're right. I'm to be taken seriously.

You're right. Steve's my responsibility now.

You're standing here in a parking lot I poured,

You're still teaching me.

You've made a passionate case in favor of progress,

Your mother and I have to hurry

'cause that'll make you feel 10 feet tall.

[Bleep] Wilmington!

♪ and he's shinin' a salute to the American race ♪

♪ Good ♪ Good morning, U.S.A.

♪ Good morning, U.S.A.

♪ I got a feelin' that it's gonna be a wonderful day ♪

♪ I'm gonna cut you right

♪ I'm gonna cut you, Steve ♪

♪ Oh, boy, it's swell to say

♪ the sun in the sky has a smile on his face ♪

♪ The surgeon cuts at night ♪

♪ the surgeon cuts at night ♪