American Dad! - Season 1 Edit

A little bit longer...

A suit like me? Well then, I'll get rid of the suit.

Aah! Mr. Smith!

Ach, ja! This is my favorite part.

Actually, I don't think you hit it.

After all, our anniversary isn't over till midnight.

Ah, nothing like the great outdoors.

Ah, Vaj the little island boy who served as our tour guide.

Ah. I'm serious. I will kill you.

Ahh!

Ahh. This picture was taken on our honeymoon.

And after what happened last year

And eat it all of it, every last bit.

And he's shining a salute to the American race

And her eyes said, "Read the T shirt."

And his grandfather found him...

And I got to kill something.

And into your beautiful mind.

And let the love come flowing back.

And their last 24 hours will be completely forgotten.

And then, fate scampered across the road.

And there was this raccoon, and I knew who I was again.

And this hot piece of mama's comin' with us.

And this is the dial for years. Yeah. Yeah.

And we'll name the discovery after you

Anyway, Stan, the procedure is irreversible.

As While You Were Sleeping and Twister.

Ask her out unless you're afraid.

Because hang gliding makes me feel alive, Linda, okay?

Because he had a dream about the exact spot where he was trapped.

Because I promised Derek I'd meet him for a drink. That's why 9:00!

Because you're smothering me, Linda.

Besides, Jeff, I never said I was going.

Besides, where are we gonna get a dozen Ping Pong balls?

Big Bird, just share it with Cookie Monster.

Burning man

But if you do figure something out, let us know...

But there's no way she could ever forget me.

By the way, great call on this Rasta disguise, Steve.

Can you check the back tire? The car is riding kind of low.

Can't you take a page from that bitch Hillary Clinton and just let it go?

Come on, daddy. l I need my fix.

Come on, Whitney. Go get it.

Come on. You went to the Winter Ball with that guy.

Could she be any sexier?

Crazy with compassion. Come on. Watch me blow its head off.

Dad, I've never seen this side of you. It's so sweet.

Dad, we've been searching all night.

Did it ever! Mmm!

Did you see where they went?

Die! Die! So that you may know peace.

Don't be like that. You're not a loser.

Don't be. You were fun. In fact, you were cool

Don't trust him! He just pretends to eat cookies, but he never swallows anything.

Don't worry. I'm leaving.

Drinking and doing lots of drugs.

Drop point ahead.

Duh. 1985. Hey, anybody got some gum?

Francine, your negligee is see through. Unfortunately, you are not.

Francine!

Francine!

Francine? Francine?

Game on.

Get a room, you two.

Get it? I was making a Dr. "T" reference.

Godzilla!

Good day, ma'am. I'm a friend of your child.

Good God! How could I forget a date so dear to my heart?

Good luck. I'm Bill Pullman.

Good morning, U.S.A.

Good morning, U.S.A.

Good morning, U.S.A.

Good morning.

Gotcha!

Gross! She'd never do that, Toshi.

Happy anniversary, sweetheart.

Has your loved one's memory been irretrievably lost?

Hayley, do Mommy a favor and put on something less revealing.

Hayley, I thought we were going to Burning Man

Hayley, you can keep an eye on her by being her roommate.

He could never forget a beating like that.

He or she has asked me to take you...

He survived three days on melted snow...

Hello?

Hello? Am I supposed to vote now?

Hello.

Her T shirt said "Bad Girl"...

Here it comes, here it comes, here it comes!

Here. Have some coffee.

Hey, are you, like, a narc? I feel like I've seen you somewhere before.

Hey, baby.

Hey, Hayley, guess where I'm taking you this weekend.

Hey, it's never gonna happen with us. Never!

Hey, Jewel, Steve here is gonna set you up on a date.

Hey, old lady, party!

Hey, Steve, is this your friend?

Hey, Steve, she's coming this way.

Hey, we had a deal.

Hi. I'm forgettable actor Bill Pullman.

Hmm! Fancy.

Hmm! No time to poop. I'll just do it on the way down the stairs.

Hold up, Steve. I'm going with.

Honestly, I only went out with you to getJewel a date...

How dare you! Do you think I would

How long till it kicks in?

How the piano store stays in business.

Huh?

Huh? Huh? Look at me. Nothing stiff here.

I am deeply disappointed in you.

I am never going to forget this.

I am ripped off my ass!

I bet I'm not. I bet I'm not.

I can see past your hydrocephalic head...

I can't believe that Dummkopf didn't remember your anniversary.

I didn't normally pick up transients, but for her I made an exception.

I got a feeling that it's gonna be a wonderful day

I had this boyfriend. He was in an avalanche.

I heard you and Hayley talking about this Burning Man...

I just can't believe Stan forgot our anniversary.

I just got out of a bad relationship.

I just ran away with her to get a rise out of Hayley.

I just wanted you to be safe.

I know just the thing to trigger her memory.

I know, I know. Bad for the ozone.

I love you, Francine. It's a little late, but happy anniversary.

I love you! You got me.

I mean, who could forget this? Or this?

I must have erased the last 20 years.

I really feel like a fish out of water here.

I see from her wristband that you were at a Sandals all inclusive resort.

I think you'll find I'm a lot less of everything.

I thought it was like the hiccups.

I wanna get the taste of roadie out of my mouth.

I was afraid you were gonna say that

I was wrong. I'll be home by 9:00.

I will reach into your chest, pull out your beating heart...

I, uh, have a special anniversary surprise for you.

I'll tell you how she hooked up with a stiff like me.

I'm "ganja" wear it all the time.

I'm just happy that

I'm never gonna do that again.

I'm not just saying this to be clever

I'm Steve Smith. Would you like to go out with me?

I'm sure he's just waiting for the perfect time to surprise me.

Imagine this, but 70 feet tall

Instead of erasing the last 20 hours...

Is so important to me, I guess you never will.

It symbolized her sunshine brightening my otherwise cloudy world.

It was 20 years ago.

It was a magical moment.

It was on a slow train to Death City...

It's all about life, love and the power of community.

It's like there's not a human being alive that would go out with that girl.

It's the big C.I.A. Fishing trip.

It's the only photo of Francine where you can't see Vaj.

It's this awesome celebration...

Jeff Daniels is right.

Jewel, I'd like you to meet my friends.

Just lose the last 20 hours of her memory.

Kind of like the female orgasm.

L Uh

L It's not you. It's the timing, you know?

Let me put you out of your misery.

Let's celebrate early. Quick! Straddle mein bowl.

Let's get back at them by dating each other.

Let's just start fresh in the morning.

Like they did forJohnny Flyswatter or Doug Reach Around.

Look out!

Look, it's Ariel.

Look, you're a stiff. I could never fall in love with a suit like you.

Maybe we should lead by example.

Maybe we should watch the video.

Me and Francine got into last year.

Mom.

My God, she was beautiful. She was cold to me, but I was hot for her

My mother stole my boyfriend!

Narc! Narc!

No, he's suffering pure agony.

No, I'm never coming home.

No, it's all about a bunch of naked morons..

No! This is the most inconsiderate thing you've ever done.

Not if you're gonna spend the weekend tinkling on Bob Guccione.

Nothing.

Now you can make nice with Jewel...

October 25, the day you forgot to put on underpants.

Oh, boy it's swell to say

Oh, Francine, for God's sake, we're married. You love me.

Oh, Francine, thank God.

Oh, God, Mom. Were you ever cool?

Oh, God!

Oh, God. Oh, God. I'm out. I'm out. Ew! Ew!

Oh, good. You're up.

Oh, I guess this is the dial for hours...

Oh, I shot it in the eye.

Oh, my God! Lindsay! Lindsay!

Oh, my God! Stop!

Oh, my God! You're an alien!

Oh, my God. Lindsay Coolidge.

Oh, oh! I was also in Independence D

Oh, Roger, stop it.

Oh, so I can crate you and hide you in that warehouse at the end of Raiders?

Oh, Stan, doesn't today have some special significance for you?

Oh, sweet masked bandit of nature..

Oh, that was classic.

Oh, that's great. You gotta do stand up. You gotta. You're great.

Oh, yeah, Hayley? Well, I pity the fool who thinks I'm uncool.

Oh, you have You have a little thing.

Oh! Does it look Africanized?

Oh. Hey, funny story

Okay, my shoes are full. I better go now.

Okay, okay. I'm cool.

Okay, this is gonna be harder than I thought.

Okay!

On one condition. You gotta find a date for my friend Jewel.

On our wedding day, I placed this yellow flower in your mom's white bouquet.

One look at me and her memories of our love will come flooding back.

Open it. I promise it'll make everything better.

Or it's going to get very messy in there.

Or these? Go on, kids, give 'em a squeeze.

Or we could just go back to your place and make out.

Ow! Ow!

Party foul! Consume!

Please, Pete? Lindsay won't go out with me...

Raccoon!

Remember the deal, Whitney. First you sing, then you get your precious cocaine.

Remember.

Remember. Please remember.

Reverse brain erasing? Now that's just science fiction

Rock on, Francine."

Roger, you're a genius! That's how I'll bring back her memory.

See you, Mom. I'm going to the mall to try and figure out...

See? Memory can be pretty tricky...

She said it was the most compassionate act she'd ever witnessed

She's not that bad looking and besides, you're blind.

So funny. Kiss me, funny boy.

So I asked the conductor ifhe could skip the next few stops to make up

So I says to mein self, "Road trip!"

So that's why if you tell your loved one what's happened to them...

So ugly.

So we need to get her back into her old apartment.

Sorry, but my mom decided to throw a rager.

Sorry. I've had that one loaded up all night.

Sounds to me like someone doesn't want to go home.

Stan, by the way, I could not hold mein pee pee.

Stan, it was so weird. And I was alone and confused.

Stay away from me!

Steve, she's so ugly.

Stop the car, you psychopath!

Sung by America's sweetheart, Whitney Houston

Sweetie, I made a mistake.

Thank God for top secret C.I.A. Technology.

Thanks for looking after me. I'm so embarrassed.

That jerk forgot our anniversary!

That was gross. I still love you.

That's a gift.

The bouncer said I could, like, totally meet Def Leppard.

The last 20 years of your wife's memory have been erased.

The sandman's starting to goose me.

The sun in the sky has a smile on his face

Their brain will implode.

There is nothing inappropriate about this outfit.

There it is.

There's nothing that could Oh.

Think how pretty you make people look by contrast.

This is a microcosm of the power that is Burning Man.

This is Cast Master One. Bring in air support.

This is great.

This is Upstanding Conservative to Dirty Liberal.

This midnight fishing is great.

Today is the anniversary of a huge fight...

Today? Wait!

Too bad. I snuck you out so you could be my wingman.

Totally. I need a shower.

Uh, Hayley, your new roommate.

Uh, that I got the privilege to be with you for the time that I did.

Unbelievable. How did she ever hook up with a stiff like Dad?

Uncomfortable.

Unless I find a date for her friend.

Wait a minute.

Wait a minute. Daddy didn't think that through.

Wait. Was I in Twister? No. No, that was Bill Paxton.

We have to maintain the illusion that your mother is still 18...

Well, go ahead and undo it.

Well, I had a fun time anyway. See you at school.

Well, if you tell anybody I'll kill you.

Well, sweet dreams, angel.

Well, that's just what the experts at the lab say...

Well, there you go. If you want Francine back, just recreate that moment.

What a performer. Well, let's turn in.

What the hell? You crazy bitch!

What, are you crazy?

What? I don't want to live with Mom. Besides, I'm sure someone lives there.

What? What? Oh, God, is there a bee on me?

What's the deal with the flower?

Where they burn this huge wooden man.

Which explained the moderate temperature in the car.

Which is why I got you this card.

Who are you?

Who's ready to do some fishing?

Whoa, Roger. You know you can't leave the house.

Whoa! Somebody had a big piece of grouchy pie this morning.

Wow! You had a boyfriend?

Wow.

Yeah, Burning Man is great this year.

Yeah, I'm, uh, laying low.

Yeah, okay, I understand.

Yeah, yeah! Let's go fish! Yeah.

Yeah. Lindsay, this is Roger.

Yeah. Yeah, you're Jennifer Connelly.

Yes, it was a guy.

You can do whatever you want to me.

You forget yourself, Snot. Steve Smith is never afraid.

You idiot. Why would you do that?

You just gave me my reach around.

You know what? If you don't get why this day...

You know, we're about to go on tour to Bangkok and Amsterdam...

You know, you're not the first person who's told me that.

You might not remember me from such movies...

You permanently erased Mom's memory?

You ran away with my memory erased mother to a pagan festival...

You're gonna do the laundry anyway, right?

You're gonna vacuum anyway, right?

You're like Russell Crowe, and I'm Jennifer Connelly.

You're lying. I'm a loser.

You're the best thing that ever happened to me, and I took it for granted.

Your boyfriend stole my wife!

Your favorite song...

And this is Jewel. Your date.

and we'd be in big trouble.

but you're a lot less of a dork than I thought. Stick around.

Dad, I was with this one. Oh. Well, outstanding.

Def Leppard? Francine, what year is it?

Everyone else gets to. Well, everyone else isn't an alien, now are they?

Francine, can you hear me? Don't kick me out.

Great Grizzly Adams. Who fired the gardener?

Hayley, where's your mother? Last time I saw her she was in the kitchen...

Hey, Jackson, you ever do it with a dead mermaid? Mermaid? No

I don't have a hard time looking at you. At me?

I love you. I love you too, Stan.

I would never forget our anniversary. We have an anniversary?

I'd love to. Really?

Is today the 14th? Yes. Yes, it is.

It's not weird. I'm your dad. She's coming to.

just to get my attention? Did it work?

Keep her away from me! Aah!

Klaus! When you come home und pack...

Need a ride? Thanks, pops.

Nice to meet you. Charmed.

No problem. Here she comes now.

Nope, first time we've met, Francine. What?

Nothing. Stick of your favorite gum? What?

Oh, right. I must have blacked out. Wait a second. You party?

Oh, thank God. You are not off the hook, mister.

or you can go home and rot in the attic. Uh, Steve...

Please don't kill me! Let me get this straight.

Right in here, ma'am. Oh, you're such a nice young

Roger is an ali

Roger! She was all over me, and my wig fell off...

serving up body shots. What a hostess.

She's not here. There's a note in frosting on the fridge.

Shoot him! Shoot him!

So what do we do? Well, when she was 18, she lived in West Langley...

Stan? Francine?

That ought to get me out of the doghouse. Francine?

to a wonderful retirement home. How lovely.

Truck!

What are we, 12? Wait. Before you decide

Where's my wife? She ditched me as soon as we got here.

Who? The black guys who did this.

Why the hell does my wife think it's 1985? Huh.

Yeah? What about? Oh, I forgot our anniversary.

You again? Look what I have.

You're kidding. Fraid not.

"Hayley Me and Jeff went to Burning Man together.

"Jamaican" me crazy.