American Dad! - Season 3 Edit

A 16 hour flight for a bad pun?

A baby was reported missing today from Langley Memorial Hospital.

A beer I am willing to fight for and a job.

A coherent, ethical, compassionate approach to a complex problem.

A concerned American, Francine.

A Costco card!

A cure! Hooray! I had no idea.

A diversion? Oh, this is a caper, like in the movies.

A film I just signed on to do with Spielberg.

A friend.

A hidden chamber!

A house. We're saved.

A human being with a name.

A hundred dollars.

A larger settlement to women who are more attractive.

A little tough love turned out to be just what he needed.

A meter maid. How embarrassing.

A motel? You think I'm a prostitute, but I'm not.

A party... for my birthday... which was Wednesday!

A secret so horrific that you'd never ask me...

A toast to the happy couple.

A voice that was inspiring.

A voice that was sometimes hard to understand

A voice that was strong

A woman got ****d in the locker room.

Aah!

Aah! Oh! My foot! You ran over my foot!

Aah! Raisins!

Aay, you.

About all this sharing business

Actually, "Al" is short for "Alison." I'm a woman.

Actually, our lawyers have determined that juries pay...

Actually, the potato has no power.

Actually, there is one thing.

Actually, this is the bottom.

Actually, we do have some big news.

Adam Sandler had a remote control. I didn't know what was happening

Adjust your pot. Come on, what's he saying?

After all the money I spent! Capitalism let you down.

After arriving at a multicar pileup on the 395.

After I fixed the leaky roof his Realtor failed to mention

After my father left us...

After spending a week with her, I remember what it's like to be with someone who appreciates me!

Agent Peters, I'm sure you're mistaken.

Agent Smith will die a horrible, painful death.

Ah, right, right. Perhaps you'll like this.

Ah, women. So emotional. They're a mystery that eludes me.

Ah, yes. I was a real somebody. But I squandered that life away.

Ah, yes. Sergei Kruglov, the wolf of Leningrad.

Ah, you don't know what you're talking about. They are way too close.

Ah!

Ah!

Ah! What the hell?

Ah. I remember when I first fell for me. Great feeling, isn't it?

Ajob, huh? How'd you like to help my son with his model rocket?

Ajob, huh? How'd you like to help my son with his model rocket?

All aboard Tearjerker's Diabolical Plan Boat Tour.

All I really wanted was to spend time with you.

All my Nancy Drews, ruined.

All necessary. Besides...

All of our vacations, the only thing that ever brought this family together...

All over the world in just a few minutes.

All right, clear a path. Some people work for a living.

All right, Francine. Just relax. I know exactly what we need.

All right, Sergei. Are you here?

All right, Stan. Now, don't be nervous. This place is a sure thing.

All right. Here's where we'll find out who my real birth in laws are.

All right. I turned off the printer. I'm waiting for it to come back on.

All right. Let me take a look.

All right. What's the fastest way to the airport?

All the time I was under the boot of Communism...

All they wanna do is dress something up.

Alligator!

Allow me to impress upon you the severe mistake you have made.

Almost. I still need two things.

Although, Anne did take that great staff photo.

Although, I gotta say, I ate there this morning, and l...

Am I a loser? Because I don't have any friends.

Am I gonna die, or am I stronger than ever?

Amazing people, unbelievably shoddy furniture.

An illiterate Irishman's Polish monkey?

And It works!

And a milk, please.

And a pretend jail for me.

And all his accomplices are brought to jus

And also, I need to leave early on Friday...

And another one gone And another one gone

And as a token of my unconditional friendship, I wanna give you this.

And as if it wasn't enough that he was ******* and mentally retarded

And as you gaze upon the smoking wreckage...

And because we were different, the rules didn 't apply to us

And begin your life of fear...

And besides, shouldn't you be looking for your missing husband...

And causing us to determine that the behavior's based on a conditioned resp

And death.

And die.

And don't send your 20 year old stoner son!

And filthy rich in three, two

And fix my damn lair, you thieving bastard!

And for that, I'm sorry. You have a right to be mad at me.

And found out there's a cure for ich.

And from those vegetables, I will plant more seeds.

And get all his National Geographics.

And he asked me to work on you myself.

And he didn't even realize. He's like America, the guy.

And he gets home tonight.

And hence, are not made into robots.

And here I was thinking you were just a gullible idiot.

And here we have our two big manly men...

And his creepy Russian uncle or whatever.

And his father left them.

And how good do you feel sticking to the appropriate gay activities...

And how good do you feel sticking to the appropriate gay activities...

And I bet they're all like, "Why?" And he's all like, "You know why."

And I brought over some friends from school.

And I didn't think I was gonna get through the day.

And I don't have any money to get home.

And I don't need a family who never believed in me.

And I don't paint houses for free, man.

And I don't want that feeling to end.

And I gotta say, ladies, this country is awful.

And I have nothing to be ashamed of.

And I have to start thinking about the baby's well being.

And I just joined your workforce.

And I knew these men wouldjust break her heart, like my father did.

And I know exactly what it is.

And I love you, Sexpun Smith.

And I never wanna hear anything about it ever again.

And I shall become more powerful than you could possibly imagine.

And I shouldn't have tried to change myself, either.

And I stepped on a eye.

And I think perhaps she knew she'd be remembered.

And I think, " Why, Athena? Why?"

And I want our friendship to last forever. Just picture it.

And I want you to go home with it.

And I was raising my son to be a true party member.

And I was wondering, um, are you making so many bad movies at once...

And I wouldn't have Lady Peckinpah.

And I'd be right. I just..

And I'll be like:

And I'll be your enabler as soon as Stan finishes being who he is:

And I'll take that eighth of an inch, sir. I'll take it like a man.

And I'm gonna be a panda.

And I'm gonna go see him right now.

And I'm horny.

And I'm only telling you this because I... think I'm falling for you.

And I'm sorry that girl was the one to make you feel special.

And I'm terrified of fountains. They're unnatural.

And I'm thinking, "He's king? He's king?

And if you keep upsetting me, then I'll have to retreat to my safe place between her breasts.

And if you wanna win back my love and be part of this family..

And in addition to never wanting to meet them...

And in that uniform, all those things will happen to you.

And instead of helping me, all you're doing is trying to make me give it up.

And into the arms of his husband, Campbell Scott...

And it felt so... right.

And it means you get to pick tomorrow's lunch.

And it never funny. Not once.

And it took the death ofhis best friend...

And it worked brilliantly.

And it's even sadder than Oscar Gold.

And it's gonna help us win this rocket contest.

And it's very heavy. And I'd like to come in and put it down.

And Keira Knightley. Tell Keira Knightley I love her.

And Klaus. Is Klaus okay? He's the only one I really care about.

And let me tell you, you... should probably get tested.

And maybe the call of a lone crow can echo in the distance.

And mix me into the local bologna supply!

And my life is back to God's design

And my name will live on forever.

And my son, my young son...

And none of the horses are eating each other

And now a thin girl is crazy for Steve?

And now for the newest segment of Channel 3 News...

And now I'm a nobody again...

And now I'm gonna kick your tight little asses

And now she's tied up in the basement with Roger...

And now the Channel 3 Noon Report...

And now there's one right under our noses.

And now, ladies and gentlemen, Fantastic Cruises Dinner Theater...

And once you strap it on, they won't take it back!

And one that's cracked the ugly.

And Orlando Bloom. You know what?

And proud of it.

And Scottie Pippen sneakers.

And Sergei's retired. But we still like to keep an eye on these people.

And she dared me to congeal myself in Jell O.

And she threatened to go to the police! So I knocked her out!

And she was enjoying a taste of the good life.

And she was like, "Oh, my God. I was so scared...

And she's following him. She's right behind you. Do not go in there, " Hercule"!

And since he somehow managed to get closer to the alien than anyone...

And single handedly prevented a coup.

And so we say goodbye to Walter Ellis.

And so we'll certainly miss our dear old friend Walter...

And some kind of striped shirt with maybe something written on it?

And Stan was always the pillow she'd cry on.

And started digging

And tell all your friends Belmonpau is looking for some weed.

And thanks for hiring me as your college intern, Mr. Schmear.

And that bitch who stole all my stuff.

And that's who I became. For myself, my wife and my kids.

And that's who I became. For myself, my wife and my kids.

And the living room is a hole with a donkey in it!

And the money we saved not having a child...

And the new touchy feely Stan fits.

And the pride of the hive, Queen Jamie Bee Curtis.

And the robot and piercings are gone by tomorrow or this pit becomes your grave.

And then we talk about our day.

And this end dispenses Ludens cough drops. I'm fighting something.

And to do that, you must communicate from your heart. Go ahead. Open your eyes.

And we're both godless heathens. Wait, that's just you!

And we're finally gonna lose...

And we've been married 50 years!

And wear American Winnie the Pooh sweatshirt.

And what have I done with my life?

And when your father gets home, we'll do just that.

And why was he replaced with a robot?

And why wouldn't they? She's all dried up.

And with it, you can get anything you want.

And you are never to bring another one into this house!

And you empty it. You got it?

And you guys can check out my ass as I walk away. I think you'll be pleased.

And you have to do the same.

And you know that'll translate into some attention from the ladies.

And you know what? I don't like you either.

And you know what? It was nice

And you know why? Because you are an ass family.

And you who've mocked will now learn to respect the power of the bee!

And you'd be forced to come home early and spend time with me for a change?

And you'll be doing your killing with this.

And you'll never be any good. Never.

And you'll walk out that door scot free.

And you're my number one gal.

And you're not gonna put out until you see my medical records?

And you're starting to get lunch lady arms.

And, Hayley, your face will remain metal free, like a good radio station.

And, look, you got to wear an apron. That's almost a dress.

And, look, you got to wear an apron. That's almost a dress.

And... I'll do it. I'll take your virginity.

And... then... they...

Anonymous and very wealthy.

Another one bites the dust

Another one bites the dust

Any hot pieces of tail around this office that like a good groping?

Anything goes wrong with this guy, it's your fault.

Anything, you say?

Anyway, gotta go kidnap a Greek guy.

Anyway, if you find this fellow, you'll get a promotion and a pay raise.

Anyway, it wasn't just the restaurant or the Parade of Homes.

Anyway, listen to me prattle on about my date.

Anyway, my model rocket's coming along great! Sergei's really helping me.

Anyway, our Alien Task Force clearly needs some rejiggering.

Apparently, he thought hanging with penguins would be a blast.

Approachable yet regal. And funny.

Are they flushing? They're not flushing.

Are you a jelly or a fritter man?

Are you crazy? What if Klaus got to it first?

Are you enjoying being three years younger than me?

Are you here for spring break?

Are you here to take us for Mexican food?

Are you kidding? Look at what freaks his kids turned out to be.

Are you kidding? No man on earth can resist the charms of

Are you kidding? She'd go straight to the C.I. A!

Are you one of her father's war buddies?

Are you people totally heartless? Mr. Halworthy helped build this town...

Are you Randy's mother?

Are you sure? We have many new takeout menus.

Are you sure? You're really ready?

Are you trying to tell me this wasn't real?

Aren't they the same thing? Anyway, Stan's coming, so...

Aren't you...? Aren't you gonna apologize and beg for your life?

Aruba, Jamaica

As a young C.I.A. Agent, I heard a rumor that when Iran Contra became public...

As child's model rocket assistant.

As I recall, he's got a peculiar phobia of fountains.

As if it wasn't enough that he was *******

As long as you stand near bright lights and avoid cedar.

As of today, your community service is finished

As part of some evil plot to dominate the world?

As soon as Agent Peters shows up, we can start.

As soon as show and tell is done.

As we speak, he is shooting 20 films, all with A list celebrities.

As you can see, my bed is also a race car.

At last, raccoons eat your neighbor's face.

At least we'll get through this together. Right, Francine?

At the very least, we should have popped by now.

Attack, my minions! Armed with your toxin, attack!

Attagirl

Attention, everyone. Let's all give a big opa...

Aunt Sadie, Great Gram Gram, Star Trek's James Doohan.

Aw, yeah. Just me and my shorty, Bernice.

Ba bam. Ba boom. Ba bam. Ba boom.

Ba bam. Ba boom. Ba bam. Ba boom.

Back in time to kill Betsy Ross?

Backup dancing.

Bad choice. That one is named "English Patient."

Bad Larry, your wife made this guacamole?

Bah Bah, you didn't wrap Jergens in Ziploc.

Bah Bah. Twenty years, you still not get it right.

Be a shame if you were to wake up one day...

Be careful, Stan.

Be warned, I am proxy bidding for an anonymous patron in Zurich.

Beat it, kiss ass.

Because Gwen is moron. She needs lots of help.

Because he doesn't like you.

Because he knows he can get away with it.

Because he wants to kill you.

Because I foresaw this very situation

Because I haven't done anything great. Well, that's going to change

Because I thought we could be secret Asians.

Because I vowed, " The West stole my son, so I will steal your son...

Because I'd want to tell all my friends to be on the lookout for a cool guy.

Because if I say, "He's not in Napa, he's at the ice factory"...

Because it make him feel good.

Because that sounds like the opposite of selfish.

Because the kids came along, and I didn't have time anymore.

Because the plan gets a little convoluted and a lot crazy.

Because there's an air marshal pointing a gun at your head.

Because they're Death Eaters.

Because they're mine

Because they're not my birth parents doesn't mean they're not my parents.

Because you killed him!

Because you will also be viewing the film...

Becky Arangino. She's from Seattle. She's 5 foot 4. She's...

Becky, thanks for getting us this lifeboat.

Becky!

Beer. Shaken, not stirred.

Beers. Sparklers. Check it out. I'm John Williams.

Before they even knew I was okay?

Behind you lies Communism, the paradise of the proletariat.

Believe it or not, the beautiful marble on this wall...

Believed in what?

Besides, it's spring break, right?

Better hurry before world's largest kitty bat it away.

Betty Bea Getty McClanahan, we're ready for you.

Betty Smith is a black widow. She dates, and then... she kills!

Betty, over here.

Betty!

Betty! Betty!

Betty! Betty!

Betty! Betty! Betty, it's Benny! Betty. Betty, Betty.

Betty! Betty! Betty, it's Benny! Betty. Betty, Betty.

Big ups to my boys, Sugar Ray, for blowing up the crib, S.B. style! How we do?

Big, macho Stan is a killing virgin.

Bit of a maverick. Doesn't like taking orders.

Blanket? Blanket? Blanket?

Bloody Mary. Bloody Mary

Body after charred body was pulled...

Boundaries, they don 't give a hoot

Boys playing with dolls. Horses eating each other.

Br Breathe through your nose.

Breathe it in. Just smell it.

Breathe through your nose!

Brett, I've realized I'm a lesbian, so I'm leaving you.

Brett, no. You gotta believe.

Brett, you're a Satanist. I could only be friends with you if you believed in...

Brett? Brett?

Brett. Brett, I thought I lost you.

Brief, dignified, unclear.

Bring you back a snow globe.

Buh, buh, buh Bernice.

Bullock has something to tell you! He's gonna tell you that

Burned your friend in the face. That's extreme. Extreme is awesome

But according to our intel, they're absolutely atrocious.

But But I already ordered the prosthetic.

But Craig was your friend! How could you do this?

But don't be mad at capitalism. Capitalism loves you!

But don't call it a robot, and don't

But every time he tell that joke, I laugh...

But he kisses at a 12th grade level.

But he's got the guts to get the job done.

But he's got the guts to get the job done.

But I don't care, as long as he doesn't hassle me about my piercings.

But I don't even think he's from here.

But I finally have a chance at happiness, and I'm taking it.

But I forgot. You know, had some kids, focused on the lawn.

But I got news for you, mister.

But I got to admit...

But I gotta have friends.

But I must warn you! I never lose.

But I remember it like it was a week ago yesterday

But I see her every night...

But I see now I must take my time.

But I set your mother up with Hercules.

But I thought you've killed a bunch of people

But I'll say another thing. It's Sunday night and we finally had a family dinner.

But I'm gonna wait till these white folks go to bed, then dig up that gold.

But I'm ready to move on. I'm out there. I just bought Rollerblades.

But I'm up for Medium. The writing's more complex on this one.

But if you can't accept me for who I am, then this friendship is over

But if you don't like it we'll just throw it out.

But if you've never experienced a ticket book in one hand...

But in fairness, you ran out of the mango shrimp salad...

But in fairness, you ran out of the mango shrimp salad...

But instead, I've hit rock bottom.

But it was totally justified.

But it's a great place for people to toss change...

But it's completely explainable by natural laws.

But it's cool, because I'm about to reconcile emotionally with my wife.

But it's cute that you thought that.

But it's for the rocket contest at school! Whoever's flies highest...

But it's not going to be what defines me.

But it's worth it to finally nail this bastard.

But maybe some nice carob paste or some hummus.

But my dream of living in Langley Falls kept me alive.

But my suspicions.

But my wife's far too fat to be pregnant.

But no more. I'm done.

But not Geoffrey Rush. But do it in front of Geoffrey Rush.

But not the best spring break ever.

But not the best spring break ever.

But now I'm out, so we'll see what happens.

But now that you have reminded me...

But of course. Give the esteemed used car salesman our finest table.

But she's a disaster at picking men. So we pick one for her.

But she's moved on...

But somehow my son picked up a Communist word.

But sometimes I think they're the ones who teach me.

But still.

But that doesn't mean we can't be spring break buddies.

But that was American Dad's 1,000th vagina joke!

But that was only for, like, two days.

But that's your eternal soul.

But the man who bring it is my sister's husband, so I sell shoddy lamb.

But the only way it can happen is if you embrace God.

But the spigot's on! And once it's on, it can't be turned off!

But then Communism fell, and the wall came down.

But then I did some digging and I found out that you're in the CIA.

But then I remembered what you said about letting go and moving on.

But then I thought, "Who's that for? Who am I doing that for?"

But then she started dating again.

But two days before we opened it wasn't your father's fault

But we already have a family, and you said we're a great family.

But we hear what you're saying. Times are tough.

But we knew what we were in for when we became C.I.A. Wives.

But we owe it to your mother to pretend to have a great time as a family.

But we should probably meet Francine.

But we visit her while we wait for market to fall.

But what about me?

But what about my lab partner? You kicked her out!

But what does that have to do with you digging up our yard?

But when I do, I'm gonna kill him so bad Death'll throw me an ice cream party.

But when Stan was feared and had the money to back it up...

But when they try to bring a child into it, I gotta put my foot down.

But you know what? I'm done. Done.

But you need to listen to me. Can you do that?

But you'll have to wait your turn. Sanders is first.

But you're definitely woman " B" in my life.

But, sir, how do I get into the resort?

But, what about McDonald's?

By making the saddest film of all time!

By the time we adopt her, she was convinced that left handedness was evil

Bye, Stan's mom!

Bye! Have a beautiful time!

Bye! Have a beautiful time!

Bye! Have a beautiful time!

Bye. Have a beautiful time.

Bye. Have a beautiful time.

Bye. Have a beautiful time.

Bye. Have a beautiful time.

Can 't cry on cue

Can I feel your muscle? Oh, can I pretend I'm a monkey and hang off your arm?

Can I look at your movies?

Can we just cut to the key yelling points?

Can we use this alligator?

Can you imagine anything more horrific than Steve losing his hair?

Can you just give this away for us? You're a doll.

Can't bounce back like I used to.

Can't talk, on a mission, under fire. Let me throw a quick hypothetical.

Can't wait.

Carlos...

Carm, you made it!

Carmen here, celebrating spring break in Langley Falls...

Carmen, we're ready to light you, and I missed my kid's birthday.

Carry me there.

Cash? You have a vast, almost unending expense account.

Caucasian folks of well off means

Caught him, sir! The alien jumped into Stan Smith.

Celebrity babies! They're all going home to see them online!

Central Virginia State. Yes, it's a real school.

Check it out, Dad!

Check out those calves. You know what that is?

Chicken strips on a TV tray in five minutes...

Chilly told us what happened.

City streets.

Clapping.

Clear my head, and then I'll go back in and crack that mother.

Clearly these horrible movies are a cover for some diabolical scheme

Clearly, there's a spell at work, hiding the true appearance of the school

Clearly, we're gonna have to do this the hard way.

Climbing the corporate ladder! That's the kind of rush those Reds never got to feel.

Close your eyes, both of you.

Closer.

Coffee stirrer. Hot cup. Cup, cup, cup.

Cold.

Come at me with a brush, see what happens.

Come back. Let me try the other hand. Rip out the IV. Rip it out. Rip it out!

Come down into the pit, and we'll stage it.

Come on, Brett. You can pull out of this.

Come on, do it, do it, do it!

Come on, Georgetown.

Come on, give me a hug. You know you want to.

Come on, I dare you. You have been dared.

Come on, let's go.

Come on, Stan. Get in the car. We have to talk about what happened.

Come on, Stan. You can do better. It's for your legacy, man.

Come on!

Come on! Eat my algae! Climb me like a monkey!

Come on. You can't give me a ticket. You just can't.

Congratulations on locating Sergei.

Congratulations, Smith. You have bested me for your son's affection.

Congratulations. You're in the Parade of Homes.

Correction. Millions and two.

Could be. You know who's gonna find out?

Cousin Phil, number 302.

Cover me.

Crap. That's the end.

Crazy night last night, huh?

Cucumber farmer. Lovely woman. Doesn't speak a lick of English.

Cut it out.

Cut it out. Go. Get it away. I will kill you.

D Day, 1944.

Dad had the right idea. I need time away from you people too.

Dad is nuts. There is no gold.

Dad, can we go to Graceland?

Dad, speaking of guy stuff...

Dad, wait. It's Saturday. Can't you help me?

Dad, what are you doing?

Dad! You're finally home! I need your help.

Dad.

Daddy. You're just in time to go with me to pick raspberries for justice

Dammit, why is this door locked? Francine?

Damn duck grease.

Damn it, Roger! Look at this! Someone must be following you.

Damn it, Stan! How come you never share?

Damn it, why couldn't you jump off the boat after dinner?

Damn it!

Damn it! Come on. It's green.

Damn it! Now we have to pay her a settlement.

Damn it! We don't have time for that! Take 'em off already!

Damn it.

Damn it. Your parents always show up unannounced.

Damn right. I think it's because they remind me of a better time...

Damn, those sons of bitches are close.

Damn! That bitch's mind works fast!

Damn. I'm failing him. Some friend you are, Stan.

Dance for me.

Dance, fools! Dance for your king!

Darling, I swear, put a bell around your neck or something.

Deal.

Dear Lord, I know this is all my fault. I was intolerant.

Dear Lord, if you're not too busy giving the guys at McDonald's..

Dear Lord, please make my ticket the winner.

Desperate to get rid of all evidence, he buried the gold in his yard.

Deuteronomy.

Devil sticks!

Dick, I believe you're up.

Did he do something? Say you'll buy her jewelry. He'll buy you jewelry!

Did he just say " proletariat?"

Did he tell you he killed your husband?

Did I clean my toilet with a washcloth, then jam it into your mother's mouth?

Did I ever tell you about my parents? Tragic story.

Did I tell you about that chick I met at Langley Sand and Gravel?

Did someone say skiing?

Did you know the dudes sit on the eggs? No, thank you.

Did you look for me? Did you even look?

Did you notice your showerhead was on the pulse setting this morning?

Did you put that nose ring back in?

Did you sexually harass Miss Vanderbooben?

Did your father hassle you about stuff?

Didn't get Whisperer. Casting director's a whore, she hates me.

Didn't I support you when you wanted to open that small business?

Didn't need to. The ship's got plenty of food.

Didn't you say your nudity empowered you?

Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding!

Disguised as teachers from the school.

Do I even like girls? I must like girls.

Do they know where you live? Do they know where you live?

Do they?

Do you know how many babies are born without an anus?

Do you know what the C.I.A. Would do to me...

Do you see a Gallagher tree, Francine? Roger's back to his old ways.

Do you wanna be responsible for hurting an unborn life? Do you?

Do you wanna be?

Do you want to make cookies with me?

Doctor patient confidentiality, Francine. Or whatever. I don't know.

Doctor says I have a big, spongy cervix.

Does anyone have more Areola Pink? I only have one tube.

Does that make sense? It doesn 't need to. I was a meter maid.

Don't be silly. I've been gone a day.

Don't cry, Roger.

Don't get me wrong, I like the Berenstain Bears.

Don't know why we didn't think of that nine months ago.

Don't listen to him. He's just jealous.

Don't look at me. I'm a disgrace.

Don't put that mask on me! I'm not ready to die! Not before Shatner!

Don't shoot me in the stomach. That's stupid.

Don't speak to me that way! I'm your mother!

Don't tell me any more of your secrets!

Don't touch my mommy.

Don't worry, baby. The bus is for foreigners.

Don't worry, buddy. You're someone else's problem now.

Don't worry, Francine. I'm not a millionaire.

Don't worry, honey. I'll find them no matter how long it takes.

Don't worry, I'll be taking it off at Art class...

Don't worry, Lady Peckinpah.

Don't worry. I'll come up with a plan.

Don't you ever tell me what to do!

Don't you get it? She's as raw as the Wu Tang Clan like it.

Don't you have anything a little more... useful?

Don't you wanna know how that's possible?

Don't you worry, little girl. We're gonna find you a real home.

Douche!

Drunk, sloppy sex!

Duck, duck, duck, goose.

Ducks and chopsticks

Dude, my wife's right here, man.

Dump it. Dump it all.

Each time I track him, I get a little closer.

Eating trout lips, watching T.J. Hooker.

Eating trout lips, watching T.J. Hooker.

Eddy, what's become of me?

Eh, give this one a four. Don't feel bad. You've had three kids.

Enough is enough. There is no gold.

Enough, Stan. Why is this such a big deal?

Equally nice.

Eric Roberts? Pope of Greenwich Village?

Escape into the taste of summer.

Especially compared to yours. How do you guys do it?

Especially for a photographer we just plucked off the street.

Even child molesters have friends.

Even Father Donovan can't remember who this poor schlub was.

Even in death it provides sustenance for the Lord's other creatures.

Even my deepest, darkest secret.

Even their creepy mascot.

Even where they leave everything to hot Gwen and you get nothing?

Every guy she goes out with dumps her on the third date.

Every guy she goes out with dumps her on the third date.

Every penny counts.

Every time I let a man take a picture of me in a bathroom, it goes bad.

Every year, Stan checks out...

Everybody needs to go home!

Everyone ran off last week before I could explain the point of Sunday night dinner

Everyone thought I was this badass CIA agent, so I went with it.

Everyone, get out right now! Come on! Let's go!

Everyone, shoes off.

Everyone, this is James. I found him curled up under the dart machine...

Everyone'll get a tasty treat instead of a national tragedy.

Everyone's fine.

Everyone's gonna laugh at me.

Everything goes.

Everything okay, Stan?

Ew! No! That would be creepy.

Exactly. They've turned us into a nation of wimpy...

Exchange the captured spies.

Excuse me.

Excuse me. Trying to merge.

Excuse me. Trying to merge. L I'm just trying

Face it, Tearjerker. You've jerked your last tear.

Face it. No one would sexually harass you.

Face saves it, though. Face is glorious.

Fake, if you will, to withstand the impact!

False alarm. It turns out I just had to poop. What did Luke say?

Family doesn't support me. That's okay. I know it's here.

Family hug.

Family hug.

Family!

Family!

Famine, war Ahh.

Fantastic. All I ask in return is that you vote with me on the dish.

Fantasy? This is my legacy

Farting in my bathing suit

Feel good? Feel like a big man?

Feelings! The game of feelings!

Fifty miles to the freedom of an orphanage..

File: Print.

File: Print. And... No. L5 error again.

Finally! Oh! Can't tell you how long that's been in there.

Find them all by next Friday, and I'll give you another eighth of an inch.

Fine, Stan. Destroy the yard again.

Fine. I don't need science.

Fine. I forbid it. Not while you're under my roof.

Fine. I'll film it myself. I don't need you two.

Fine. Then I'll call a friend. I'll just open up my address book

Fine. Then we'll just go see Dr. Nussbaum for 150 an hour.

Fine. We'll just use Roger.

Fine. You are such a fascist, Dad!

Fire will cleanse our sins.

First time peeing in an airplane.

First up, some kind of crappy little paddleboat

First you say my mother and I are too close.

Fish can't get herpes, can they?

Five tears will have you on your ass.

Five thousand dollars.

Followed the Ice Creamsicle wrappers and found my gold"!

For a West German tennis equipment salesman

For Communism!"

For God's sake, you're an American.

For good measure, I'm gonna set the whole thing off with this:

For the kids' sake, we should meet your real parents...

For years, my conduct has been largely benign...

Forgot my sunglasses.

Forty years of alcoholism and three doctorless abortions.

Forward psychology?

Found it. No, it's a baby pine cone. Add that one to the collection.

Four times a week, every week.

Francine called. Lady Peckinpah is dead. " Ah.

Francine finally had what she wanted.

Francine hates you. You should kill yourself in the motel off the freeway.

Francine is our smart daughter. We never have to worry about her.

Francine, call Belmonpau.

Francine, did somebody bet me how many washcloths I could fit in my butt...

Francine, how can this be true? What the hell's wrong with me?

Francine, I can explain.

Francine, I can't put a number on you.

Francine, I heard you bullied your way into the Parade of Homes

Francine, I swear on the lives of our future grandchildren...

Francine, I'm a C.I.A. Man. Sharing, opening up I'm just not that type of guy.

Francine, if you wanna deal with Roger, be my guest, but I am through.

Francine, it's unnatural.

Francine, Julie's searching for a man to fill the role of her missing husband.

Francine, show some compassion. Her husband is missing.

Francine, Stan's coming home soon.

Francine, the problem here is that Stan's built a wall around himself.

Francine, they're on date number three!

Francine, this is all in your head.

Francine, turn around.

Francine, wait!

Francine, what the hell? You have something you wanna tell me?

Francine, you are single handedly bringing on the downfall of society.

Francine, you never told me your husband was such an open book.

Francine, you were right. We've been horrible.

Francine, you're not looking at my fingers.

Francine, you've clearly gone insane. I'm not even gonna entertain that idea.

Francine!

Francine! I think he's about to make a breakthrough!

Francine! Oh, it's spring break! It's great!

Francine? But how did you Freeway!

Francine? Wh What are you doing here?

Francine.

Francine. Thank God. I've been waiting for you.

Frankly.

Franny, I need you to run lines with me.

Free of excess, devoted to the cause.

Freeze. Put your hands in the air.

From the third, or perhaps fourth harvest of revenge plants...

From the wreckage of the gruesome collision.

From work. We know each other from work.

Fuck you!