American Dad! - Season 9 Edit

A baby! A baby you gave birth to

A bad man.

A bistro house with a South Asian flair.

A body...

A book or the Internet...

A brief PowerPoint presentation

A bullet intern to make sure I always have bullets?

A Choco Taco most frozen.

A couple of months ago?

A criminal is someone who gets caught, Steve.

A custom Rolex with a special display

A deli platter.

A dog.

A four pack of paint rollers.

A foxhole...

A girl, a black kid and a paraplegic.

A girls' finishing school in this very attic.

A good round of marbles to these confounded video games.

A government job fighting for so called freedom

A half tank, but it's a big tank.

A hard core workout regimen, do you?

A home? No kiddin'!

A hundred people?

A lawsuit...

A life without Jeff, but...

A literate girl is a lonely girl.

A little at a time.

A little.

A lot of people got really sick, actually.

A macaroni necklace.

A man, Francine.

A marketplace of ideas.

A marketplace of ideas.

A millionaire?!

A movie?!

A new couch!

A piece of cake!

A railroad gypsy took away my vas deferens,

A real Stephen Hawking.

A ream of printer paper,

A set of keys...

A simple pill that'll turn Stan back into a man.

A snowboard with wheels on it.

A solo gusli sensation!

A spare tire that doubles as a human boy?

A therapist? Sounds expensive.

A thousand percent, top priority on my mind

A trip to Fiji. A mourncation. Honeymourn?

A vacuum like effect and suck a person up inside of it?"

A very bitter presence.

A very light opiate,

A VHS tape rewinder,

A what?

A whole day of watching football in my underwear,

A whole pill will transform you into a woman.

A wild animal in the house?

A woman fish?

A woman like you deserves.

A woman now.

A, am I the only one struggling with this here?

A, asecret room?

Aah!

Aah!

Aah!

Aah!

Aah!

Aah!

Aah!

Aah!

Aah!

Aah!

Aah!

Aah!

Aah!

Aah!

Aah!

Aah!

Aah! Blouse Monster!

Aah! Damn it!

Aah! Ha ha ha!

Aah! It's got me!

Aah! The tint of the glow is slightly off.

Aah! Ticks!

Aah! Why don't I ever think of these things in the moment?

Abigail Breslin

Abort! Abort!

About a rabbit I owned that ran away.

About completing a survey about the service,

About everything I said today.

About exactly how your accident went down.

About former Charlotte Hornet Alonzo Mourning,

About Garbage Island and so many other things.

About how to work a snatch.

About my baby, you didn't even hesitate.

About my dad dying.

About our culture's veneration of the super rich.

About the time I murdered the entire Bolshoi ballet?

About thinking someone might've come to the door

About to roll over to 100,000!

About why I should go on that CIA hunting trip.

Absolutely incredible!

Absolutely incredible! Absolutely incredible.

Absolutely incredible! Absolutely incredible.

Absolutely not.

Absolutely not. Everyone knows if they're flawless,

Accuracy is so time consuming.

Achtung, an eagle.

Actually, babe, it's not too bad up here in space,

Actually, babe, we have no idea where we are.

Actually, I was hoping to talk to you about a solution

Actually, I win.

Actually, I'm just gonna go do my mission.

Actually, mine's whales

Actually, not all Chinese people think of Genghis Khan as scary.

Actually, once you get above the clouds,

Actually, they worked perfectly.

Actually, those are your girls. What?!

Actually, we're a couple now.

Adjacent?!

Adjacent.

After a horrible pharmacological mishap?

After every hunt...

After everything we've been through.

After reruns of the Taiwanese prayer breakfast.

After the break: bulimia

After the cat he was eating when I found him.

After their mother, the love of my life,

After you went back to sleep,

After your eye surgery today.

Again? You just went!

Again.

Agent Smith is still a woman?

Agent Smith reporting for duty.

Agents don't have any style anymore.

Ah, but I insist.

Ah, button nose.

Ah, Frankie Scott Key.

Ah, he's gone.

Ah, I can never get this.

Ah, just a lot of things I've stolen over the years...

Ah, oh, what's going on?

Ah, prom night.

Ah, sorry sir, just a little tired.

Ah, that's top secret.

Ah, the dodo Raphus cucullatus.

Ah, to hell with it.

Ah, what a restful coma.

Ah, your Chinese gibberish very mediocre.

Ah! Enough! Enough.

Ah! Keep doing that!

Ah! My pre owned Saturn! I just got this thing!

Ah! Oh, gross! Ah!

Ah! So it works like the holodeck.

Ah...

Ah... forget it.

Ah... okay. You think cocaine is a problem.

Ah... the old hood.

Ain't no tailgate without properly seared turkey burgers.

Ain't that right, Floppy Rabbit?

Aiya, picture better before.

AKA Old Scratch.

All evens.

All friends, somehow.

All he cares is what his football coach says.

All I did was take this pill, but the woman at the lab said

All I needed was the pin!

All I'm saying is that last time we came here

All men do it!

All my feelings feel like hungry!

All my money goes to experimental VD treatments.

All of our contestants go home with a parting gift

All of you, get out there

All right, according to the notes

All right, all right.

All right, American Dadders, earlier in the episode

All right, first of all, that never happened.

All right, five minute power nap.

All right, give it to me.

All right, guys.

All right, Hayley, where do you want it?

All right, how hard could this be?

All right, I promise, Francine.

All right, I'm gonna do the bumpers for the next few shows.

All right, Klaus, we're the Pilgrims

All right, let's do this.

All right, let's do this.

All right, Mom. Creepy.

All right, Mr. Hip.

All right, pocket square,

All right, Sinbad, we're finally going home.

All right, Stan Smith, let's see what you're hiding.

All right, Stan, we're ready.

All right, Stan.

All right, Steve! Way to go!

All right, talk to you next time

All right, that completes today's hotties

All right, that's it.

All right, then, friend.

All right, this Belgian is not going to

All right, we're here.

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right. Highlight:

All right. I'm gonna take a lap.

All right. It's time for me to answer

All suits in stock are 42 regular.

All that money.

All that's left is to figure out what we're gonna sell,

All the agents in the Inner Circle

All the groovy protesters wear them.

All this talk about satisfying's getting my girdle all gooey.

All this time, I thought...

All those girls want me?!

All those hippies urinating...

All we have to do is get out of the house.

All we know right now is that Steve was last seen at home

All we need is another one and...

All you're doing is lying around!

All... day... long.

Almost ready.

Almost there.

Also happens to be...

Also single daughter, Ramona?

Also, we haven't done an are you alive check today.

Also, we know Francine is way too interested

Although, unfortunately, because of a licensing dispute,

Always nibbling on my list.

Am I right?

Am I?

Amazing sex, Francine.

American bald eagles!

American Dad is filmed in front of a live studio audience.

American Dad! Remembers Jim Breuer.

American Dad! remembers Mutumbo the goat.

An 18 wheeler! I made it at work.

An actual living turducken.

An emotional tourist.

Anatomically a woman.

And a diversion.

And a good but not amazing Thai restaurant,

And a hundred.

And a weekend at my mansion in Monte Carlo.

And abide by the rules

And actually retain the information they tell them.

And after prom.

And aliens and fish?

And all liquor over $40!

And all of his cartoon pals

And all of your fortunes have come true!

And all so he could become a man?

And all that real life living

And already trying to flip it on me.

And also nerding out!

And and that's pretty much all I've seen, but...

And and why were you frozen for 30 years?

And apparently, I'm not allowed to have it.

And as you know, I'm friend..I'm friendly.

And at the end of that year, you don't get a gun."

And at the end of the night I'll say a chilly good bye

And back into life.

And besides, I didn't even know him.

And buried it in the forest!

And buried under the foundation.

And by the way, you're wasting your money

And can I get some snacks between me and the target?

And could you please put the "Do not disturb" sign on the door?

And cut. We're clear.

And did you let me put these pills

And didn't drop things.

And do whatever he says.

And do you offer it to your guests?

And doesn't even pay his employees a living wage.

And don't let the butter sit on the ground too long

And even agreed to go couch shopping at the mall.

And even though they haven't been to the playoffs

And everyone's the better for it.

And everything will be fine.

And everything will go back to normal

And Familyland was thrown into chaos.

And finally, for Stan,

And find me my JonBenét Ramsey!

And finish!

And framed her own parents for his murder!

And Francine's parents are the Indians.

And from now on, when my son steals,

And from your ass.

And Genevieve Vavance was in on it.

And given Snot a hug...

And gloves but not pants.

And harvesting her organs in no time.

And have been living in the woods

And he always insists that I drink with him.

And he did a good job."

And he did a half ass job.

And he did it wrong on purpose.

And he didn't show you how to put the butter away.

And he got fired and sued into poverty

And he had a marvelous time.

And he has my son.

And he said that he has found,

And he says he'll only give him back

And he'll have to leave you alone forever.

And he'll realize you're the one calling the shots

And he's known the whole time.

And he's walking around to "Bad to the Bone."

And he's...

And her army of splay legged princesses

And here is a photo of your wife.

And him being sucked into space.

And hog tied you in your own home,

And how about your other pocket?

And how am I supposed to do that?

And how was it for you, Francine?

And I am not gonna pretend to have

And I am not your father.

And I bet you've never felt the rush

And I came across a signal from really far away

And I came real close to cutting myself.

And I can't find Red Dawn.

And I can't wait to see everyone!

And I certainly won't be putting on my pants.

And I did all these horribly nice things

And I didn't even prepare her for life.

And I exceeded them by 380 million.

And I got to know the one person who gave me all this,

And I got to say, I don't blame her.

And I had to watch what happened to my creation.

And I have proof.

And I hope you don't drop that baby

And I hope you said yes to both.

And I intend to see if Lord Grantham will be able

And I learned the true meaning of Thanksgiving.

And I love you, Denise.

And I make a hell of a lot of money doing it.

And I make a hell of a shoofly pie

And I need to get to an underpass before nightfall.

And I owe it all to you.

And I own the deed. It's mine.

And I said you introduced crack and AIDS to the ghetto?

And I taught them how to cook burgers on my car.

And I threw up all over the elevator buttons.

And I walked downstairs and got some cake?

And I want to talk all about it

And I want you to kill him.

And I wanted to see it come to fruition.

And I wanted to tell you I'm proud of you, son.

And I was just standing there on the ground,

And I was the champion.

And I, you.

And I'll be ready when it does.

And I'll have my vengeance.

And I'll just become

And I'll let you report on as much idealistic crap as you want.

And I'll see you tomorrow.

And I'm a sponge, I was waiting for it.

And I'm going to plunder your culture!

And I'm gonna be busting your ass all day.

And I'm gonna find out what.

And I'm here to review the details of your accident.

And I'm Kate Fagan, aka Hayley.

And I'm never gonna kill again.

And I'm not gonna touch it, because, from what I can tell,

And I'm not letting you kill anyone ever again.

And I'm on my last lap.

And I'm pretty sure that warrants a trip to Cold Stone.

And I'm proud of you.

And I'm sorry,

And I'm starting with a protein shake right now.

And I'm supposed to make sure you get a fair trial,

And I'm sure all of you'd really like to go home

And I'm usually up for anything.

And I've felt a dark presence when nobody's there.

And I've got a lot of bottoms to blister.

And if it's nightlife you're after,

And if it's nightlife you're after...

And if we ain't got no truth in this world, what do we have?

And if we ask every girl in school,

And if we ask every girl in school,

And if we're really gonna die,

And if we're really gonna die,

And if you do it right, you'll never get caught.

And if you need anything at all, my name is Benji.

And if you were really bad,

And if you're looking to get your funny bone tickled,

And if you're looking to get your funny bone tickled,

And if you're looking to get your funny bone tickled,

And if you're looking to get your funny bone tickled...

And if you're too chicken to ask her out,

And in the lobby!

And instead, she wasted her entire life waiting for you!

And is very embarrassed for you.

And it was the best thing that ever happened to me.

And it'll haunt me the rest of my life.

And it's beautiful.

And it's like you thought of it.

And it's not covered.

And it's not fair to ask you to wait for me.

And it's not gonna be me.

And it's set to the highest strength level.

And it's Taco Tuesday, where all the tacos are two for one.

And it's time for you to chill out.

And it's worse than you think.

And Jack took off.

And Krampus would punish the naughty ones.

And let's see who's better.

And like most dogs...

And like the open road...

And made me kiss a raccoon on the mouth..."

And make them into a "U" over there!

And making fun of those of us who do.

And Margie, feel free to move about the Cuban.

And mature.

And maybe now even a dumb ass like you

And maybe you can teach me

And me and his ghost have been traveling the stars

And more confident.

And most of them wear bow ties

And Mr. Smith, please know that if you are hiding anything,

And Mr. Smith, please know that if you are hiding anything,

And my body's shutting down.

And my mom isn't going.

And my temperament feels inconsistent.

And nobody knows where he is,

And not just for them, for us, too!

And not when I was boy.

And now he's gone.

And now I taught them to girls, do it!

And now I understand

And now I'd like to welcome

And now I'm in hot water.

And now I'm... Getting tired of me interrupting you?

And now it's on your permanent record.

And now it's time for you and your kind

And now let's have a big welcome back for

And now sex time

And now that I can't kill, Bullock fired me.

And now this lady's getting tampons.

And now we're totally screwed for prom!

And now, a word from our sponsor,

And now, the final Lego to complete our official entry

And of course we'll take the secret back roads.

And oh, I get it, she set me up, I'm stupid.

And one of the armies is entirely made up of children.

And only homeownersdrink import.

And only two hours late!

And only two hours late!

And our prayers.

And Outside II: Without a Sweater.

And people don't want to put their lunches in the door

And perky bosom, you're gonna get lots of attention.

And pick them up after school?

And playing video games.

And please welcome my dear friend

And pour one for yourself.

And pretend I'm Baby Jesus.

And properly manage a successful business.

And remember, those books are for posture only.

And rented our last two copies.

And restock it, but it's been 12 years.

And ride Brokeback Splash Mountain.

And Ron Howard, the director with...

And run through Old Man McGuilicutty's bear farm.

And second, I escaped my kidnappers.

And see how they access the permanent records.

And see how things really were.

And see those zeros, if it kills me.

And shake you good!

And she's all alone.

And since your father isn't up to the task,

And so much more meaningful

And so the Frog King said to the Burgermeister...

And so, the Great Wall rose

And some of it's gonna be tempting.

And somehow induce a miscarriage.

And sounded like The Beatles.

And spend the rest of my life with her.

And spiritual guide, Miss Genevieve Vavance.

And started living your life again?

And stay out, perverts!

And Steve Smith, here you are, safe, free,

And stuff the leaves in the gutters.

And subjected to Heaven knows what.

And surrender? Never!

And take the trash out before we eat.

And taking picture with friends.

And talking about how your ass is disgusting.

And taught me how to survive.

And tell me I'm your favorite horse in the stable!

And that I would meet her now,

And that vaccines are

And that was the last time Familyland was visited

And that, Mr. Baby, is why I vastly prefer

And that's all of ours.

And that's hitting you pretty hard.

And that's how you should be treated.

And that's the twenty second flea flicker in a row.

And that's when I realized

And that's when I was sure that I could see the future

And that's where all conversations end.

And that's why the world sucks so hard now.

And that's why you and all the other baddies

And the Asian chick from Rite Aid?

And the best part is we'll be...

And the better listener you are, the better tips you'll get.

And the cash I make from this gig helps me

And the founder of the park, Roy Family.

And the house is sinking, too!

And the lanyard you made me at Camp Shoulda Woulda Coulda

And the most efficient way to convey that truth?

And the only one who knows where to find him is Jack.

And the only strange activity we've seen

And the other one for people's bag lunches.

And the Pappy goes to...

And the people lost all semblance of civilization.

And the results show I'm positive for Bird Flu.

And the river of clotted beef blood that came out of it

And the surprises don't stop there

And the way you opened an entire pack of Starbursts

And the wire blades could...

And their asses should...

And then get right back on the road.

And then he disappeared completely.

And then he... Knew in the third race

And then head over to Simpler Times Mountain

And then I encouraged you to try.

And then I get to do my exposé on Garbage Island.

And then I went in the sun.

And then join forces for the big finale?

And then let me drink it?!

And then Sinbad sacrificed himself

And then started and stuck with

And then wait for the next bus, which comes right on schedule,

And then we're gonna jump off the roof,

And then you sleepwalked to the kitchen and ate some.

And then, after that... to know.

And therefore the Christian truth?

And these East Coast folks love to litter.

And they all worked at a Korean restaurant.

And they will tell you that they prefer the Nerd Squad

And they're sending people to have her killed!

And this is a very important IHOP to me.

And this is real freedom!

And this one I sc****d on a rock,

And thought, "I'd like to get in on that"?

And throughout time, what has consistently been

And to the Internet.

And to the west, the Cowboy King,

And together, we're...

And tonight I'm a chef!

And two, run 22 flea flicker plays in a row Friday night.

And unlike you,

And until we do,

And use the neighbor's bathroom.

And want to buy things.

And we bone 'em! Totally on board.

And we can still prevent the Holocaust.

And we hide you away for a week,

And we may never make it home.

And we...

And we'll be at the forefront, raking in the rubles.

And we're about to move forward with an attack

And we're back.

And we're gonna find that girl with this!

And we're gonna help.

And we're gonna share your bowl as a bathroom.

And we're heading to the funeral.

And we're here to stop you.

And we're holding 81 percent

And we're never coming back here again.

And Wednesday, I worked at GameStop

And welcome to partake of our bounty.

And well, I'll just say it:

And went into a rare condition known as...

And what are we doing in your bedroom?

And when I send this downstairs,

And when I told her to stop, she framed me, too.

And where'd you hide the body?

And while I smell beer on your breath,

And why am I the little person?

And with three hours until the coin toss

And without hat.

And without their parents, they will surely starve.

And work on my skateboard.

And you and I haven't really done anything together in a while.

And you bought some really expensive candy.

And you can get your job back.

And you didn't even know you were pregnant!

And you didn't even notice.

And you don't get hurt when you crash.

And you don't have to raise your hand, Steve.

And you get a call from my company

And you have to wait, like, forever for a piece of cake?

And you just cover the price of my lessons?

And you just sat there, snapping photos?

And you know where your best friends

And you people wonder why the world is all taking boats.

And you realize you're no longer two people

And you should hurry back to the dance,

And you'll get fired.

And you'll have all the love and respect

And you're exactly what the world needs right now.

And you're gonna remember this for the rest of your life,

And you're just gonna have to trust me on this.

And you're not stuck.

And you've brought no dipping sauce!

And you've got your boy shaped ruby.

And your eyes and your mouth.

And your keys

And your sad music is making her cry.

And, son, that's why

And, Stan, I maxed out your credit card to hire Buddy

And, uh, how long have you and Steve been friends?

And, um, here.

And, yes, I would like another turn.

And, you know, I think they make a lot of good points

And, you know, loose lips.

Another one of your missions.

Another stray dog today, Stan.

Answer that last one first

Any fun stories or anything?

Any movie scripts you write based on your experiences here,

Any news from the lab on reversing... all this?

Any of which should qualify me for this manhood you speak of.

Any questions?

Anybody see one?

Anyone can kill.

Anyone seen my kid?

Anything at all, I will sniff it out.

Anything else I can help you with?

Anyway, about my idea for the fridge in the break room...

Anyway, I guess I'm just trying to say,

Anyway, I usually do eat cake before bed,

Anyway, I usually do eat cake before bed,

Anyway, I was hoping to talk to you

Anyway, now that you're a bartender,

Anyway, today in sex ed,

Anyway, today in sex ed,

Anyway, we gotta find Cuban and stop him.

Anyway, what's next?

Anyway, you each owe me $400.

Anyway, you look good.

Anyway..

Anyway...

Apologize?

Apologize?

Apparently they have a thing.

Are an outdated stereotype perpetuated

Are are you the one?

Are are you trying to use the Force on me?

Are hiding a wine stain on your couch.

Are hiding a wine stain on your couch.

Are teaching me Spanish,

Are the mirrored shades.

Are there going to be casualties?

Are trains becoming obsolete?

Are using this rally as a cover

Are we done here?

Are we really gonna do this?

Are you a smoker?

Are you accusing me of being vindictive, Francine?

Are you bigger than 42 regular?

Are you boys still there?

Are you crazy?!

Are you done having your idea?

Are you gonna blow up Mount Rushmore?

Are you hot?!

Are you implying that there was any version of her that wasn't?

Are you insane?!

Are you just guessing that she's slutty,

Are you kidding me?

Are you listening?

Are you Nemo?

Are you okay?

Are you okay?

Are you one of them?

Are you some kind of deviant?

Are you still together?

Are you suggesting an organized and systematic...

Are you sure that's what caused the accident?

Are you sure you need more coffee?

Are you sure you want to bother?

Are you sure you're not just tired?

Are you sure you're not talking about Walt Disney?

Are you sure?

Are you thinking what I'm thinking?

Are you up there?

Are you...

Are, are you, are you sure about this?

Are..

Are... are your boobs bigger than mine?

Area four.

Area one.

Area three.

Area two.

Argh!

Armor me and supply me with weapons.

Around 3:30 really boring.

Arriving at party.

Artemis, show her.

As always, Stan.

As an angel.

As champions on Family Feud.

As for me, I was never heard from again.

As for you, all your organs are wrong and scary to me.

As for you, old Smith,

As friends.

As I said, no time. Now let's go.

As if a pizza guy has ever been murdered here

As interruptions.

As it was closed immediately under a mountain of lawsuits.

As long as her parents are in this house,

As long as I don't find anything at the routine inspection

As long as you have a T shirt I can sleep in.

As much as you drop the football.

As quickly as we can,

As rolling a spliff in Kingston Town, mon.

As the kingdom hovered on the brink of war.

As you can see, our facility is exceptionally cruel

Ask anyone who does audiovisual in the Langley Falls area

Ask me a question, but don't use me as a prop.

Asparagus.

Asses. We'd prefer slightly too large or boyish

At a gas station.

At best, we were... "friendsly."

At Hearty's and it's gonna be this great thing, but...

At how cheesy Outer Space Land is.

At least I have the radio to keep me company.

At least let us come with you!

At long last, Herr Frederick,

At long last, I'm a man?

At the accelerated rate they're growing,

At the grocery store.

At the grocery store.

At the International Star Registry,

At The K&R Suit Experience, we have hundreds of suits,

At the mall before it goes out of business.

At the same time that we got a yacht!

At the same time?

At the top of an active volcano!

At your next Occupy rally.

Athletic. Chiseled. Missing.

Attendance at the national monuments is dwindling,

Attention denizens of Familyland.

Attention Familyland patrons,

Attention, Inner Circle.

Auf Wiedersehen, you undead son of a bitch!

Auf Wiedersehen!

Aw, come on. Um...

Aw, gee whiz.