American Dad! - Season 4 Edit

A A boy? Uh, c could a boy produce tears this big? [Sobs] Huh?

A bobby pin would fall out, and a rebellious lock would cascade down.

A butt print on Hayley's bedspread.

A calzone for Kirk Douglas here.

A carton of Virginia Slims, and I want you to make me look like Audrey Hepburn.

A case of whiskey and a Modern Bride, my good man.

A chocolate one!

A gift from the fire chief himself because of the hydrant.

A hundred shots of beer. I got 10 more to go.

A kid from Hebrew school told me about a guy named Warren...

A little better job with this whole suicide thing.

A lot of Central American children are born with harelips.

A lot of kids are starting fires these days. Maybe that'd work.

A man will spend 20 minutes looking for a golf ball.

A million dollars?

A motion sensor light? The association doesn't allow motion sensor lights!

A quick one. Yes. Yes to a quick one.

A reluctant bottom.

A sturdy groin is the linchpin of victory.

A sweater? What are you, an old lady?

A telethon? No one wants to run 26 miles!

A thousand copies ruined! You're fired!

A thousand copies ruined! You're fired!

A treasured item gone missing. Are you thinking what I'm thinking?

A Vassar alum who thinks she's a Sunni freedom fighter...

A wheel man? I know the perfect guy: Lucius Mayweather.

A.J.'s been kidnapped. I need you to help me with the handoff.

A.k.a. The black widow.

Aaah! Ow, my foot.

Aah!

Abandoned because someone killed its mother.

About the bundle of dynamite who lives with a talking burrito.

About things like panty hose or contraception.

Absolutely not. I'm zombie dancing with my son.

Accident waiting to happen.

According to his receipts, only one person...

Actors killed Lincoln!

Actors? Then why were you taking a family photo with them?

Actually, I've sort of moved away from traditional religion.

Actually, if you look closely, it says a million "doll hairs."

Actually, we just need you to sign this affidavit...

After I found out he was taking pictures of Steve while he was asleep.

After I found out you were missing, I was devastated.

After that negative pregnancy test, you've earned it

After the male chicks are liquefied...

Afternoon, sojourners.

Again, sorry I ate all the ambrosia salad. I did not realize it was for everyone.

Ah, Chinatown.

Ah, good. You're all here together. Now again, about the tickets

Ah, I love the boy, but I'm afraid he's part of the problem

Ah, I promised Francine I'd come home.

Ah, Stan, you made me mess up!

Ah, thanks, Uncle Howie.

Ah, this whole trip was a bad idea.

Ah, yes The DuBonnets.

Ah, yes. Culled.

Ah, you son of a bitch, you know I'm not a fighter.

Ah!

Ah! A nickel.

Ah! Nothing more relaxing than a nice cigar.

Ah! Oh.

Ah. I guess one of us should wonder who that could be at this hour.

Ah. What a long night of killing people who don't deserve it.

Ahh. I've been holding that in since Jeopardy.

Ahhh!

Al?

Alas, the case was locked. And the key was with the shop girl

Alejandro! Fire up the balloon!

All because you refused to do the heist my way.

All grown up like a big shot.

All I did was change the teleprompter, cut the bear's brakes...

All I need now is the passenger gull wing door, and I am finished

All it takes is two hours on Monday night.

All part of the show, folks. Everything's fine. Music, Frodo. Music!

All Pro fullback for the Washington Redskins.

All right now. It's time for Bernie's gardening tip of the week.

All right, all right! I give up! But it doesn't matter!

All right, all right. Slow down. Reel it back in.

All right, baby. Hop in and

All right, calm down. I'm almost done.

All right, fellas, huddle up.

All right, girls. Yoga time.

All right, girls. Yoga time.

All right, here's the theater.

All right, huddle up, Wolverines.

All right, I'm just gonna give you a little anesthesia.

All right, our last opponent. The Nexus Six Series Replicants.

All right, Roger. Lfinished my research...

All right, seagulls. Take me home. Hyah!

All right, Snake! The jig is up!

All right, Wheels, this is the last place Hayley saw her Shuffle.

All right! Enough of this meshuggaas.

All right! One, two

All right.

All right.

All right. Be right back.

All right. But I'm getting some ribs first.

All right. Car's packed. Time to go.

All right. Have fun, you two.

All right. I did your little play, and it was intoxicating.

All right. I'm gonna go get my face painted and then get the hell outta here.

All right. There's your trans fats.

All right. We're all packed. You ready to go, Francine?

All right. What's done is done. Can't change it now.

All the guys at work get to go out and have fun while I'm stuck here every night.

All the world's oceanographers have been looking for this squid...

All you care about is 'ood and 'ussy.

All you care about is pizza?

All you care about is pizza?

All you do is bitch and moan and pull guns on us.

Allow me to introduce myself. Carlotta Monterey.

Almost like he doesn't want anyone to know he's home.

Alphabetically by actor's last name.

Also, if anyone knows anyone who recently died with an intact size three sphincter...

Also, she'll have snacks. Healthy snacks, but snacks.

Also, we lost communications with Stan 12 hours ago.

Also, we lost communications with Stan 12 hours ago.

Although, if we find the squid, we will take Francine on a worldwide lecture tour.

Although, while you don't care about your son's feelings...

Amazing how the human brain works, isn't it?

Amen. Okay, let's do this.

An above ground sprinkler on the front lawn? No, sir!

And "fine" certainly won't beat Miss Carlotta Monterey's pie.

And 96% of you...

And a hell of a football player.

And all because we worked together.

And all he does is say terrible things about you.

And an alien who's acting like a jealous four year old!

And as far as I know, she's never been hunted near extinction!

And as far as I know, she's never been hunted near extinction!

And as her only child passes away before her very eyes...

And burped, and changed, and held...

And call off the hit.

And caring about someone more than myself was a trauma too great for my psyche to bear.

And could still get their internship form signed.

And deliver the sausage you ordered.

And devised the perfect plan to rob Etan Cohen's bar mitzvah.

And doctors can't cure it.

And doctors can't cure it.

And don't try to sleep with it, because it doesn't have any money.

And don't whiz in the shower on her birthday.

And driven me into the arms of my lover, Raoul!

And even though we were all wet and naked and slippery...

And every time he leaves for a mission...

And exercised, and bathed, and oiled...

And frankly, the family's recently been far more concerned...

And get this, anyone can come...

And gives me Bonnie Franklin hair.

And Grandpa told me that I was wrong and you were right about him the whole time.

And handsome. Don't you dare forget handsome.

And he came in to wash his hands. I count that.

And he mated with a bull to conceive me!

And he needs me. Francine, I've gotta get down to that courthouse...

And he seemed pretty sure that nothing could stop the aging process.

And he's a Fig Newton of someone's imagination. [Crying]

And he's a Fig Newton of someone's imagination. [Crying]

And he's acting like he owns the world.

And he's not talking because we can't torture him!

And Heisenberg's wife was unhappy...

And here are your test results. I couldn't even look at them.

And here I am living out of an overnight bag...

And hey. Looks like you're a Chiquita banana.

And his young boy companion.

And I also stole your dress socks.

And I am an Amish idiot savant who hath proven with nary a doubt...

And I am Marie Dubonais, your neglected wife.

And I am Raoul! You are too old and barren.

And I am Toro, Raoul's half bull son from the future.

And I am your doctor. The bull's horn has done too much damage.

And I can't get around that. I mean, my situation's hopeless...

And I couldn't bear to carry that shame around for the rest of my life.

And I did love going to the aquarium with my dad when I was a girl.

And I didn't tell you because I knew you wouldn't approve.

And I don't break a promise.

And I figured out that they were looking in the wrong ocean.

And I got you something sexy to wear to bed up at the lake.

And I hate to waste a good spotlight. [Clears Throat]

And I have no genitals.

And I have no genitals.

And I have no mate.

And I haven't been able to trust anybody ever since.

And I haven't gotten past the first paragraph?

And I haven't had lunch with Bullock once.

And I just wanted to enjoy it for a while.

And I knew you were the one for me.

And I mean anything.

And I mean this factually, not judgmentally. You're a loser.

And I mistook it for ghosts.

And I need my number one man

And I probably charged it to me.

And I probably charged it to me.

And I put grenadine on the list.

And I spoke to the kids. They support me.

And I stupidly said yes.

And I thought, "Maybe he's not so trustworthy."

And I want him to taste defeat.

And I was able to parlay that confidence...

And I was made of clay, and I was so flexible, and I loved it!

And I'd do the same to any of you!

And I'll sneak the money off Snot before he ever knows

And I'm gonna be a better man in your eyes for it.

And I'm gonna make him pay!

And I'm Hayley, and all of this is just a figment...

And I'm not even at my desk. I'm at Duper's desk.

And I'm Roger. Your internship's over, Hayley.

And I'm setting that weirdo straight.

And I've decided I can accept this.

And I've never smelled good things in here before.

And if I don't do it right now, I might never be able to.

And if my dad won't accept that, then I can't live here anymore.

And if not, if you're listening to this from heaven, I love you, kiddo.

And if that wasn't bad enough, then he broke up with me.

And if you don't, I cut off your leg with that chain saw.

And if you weren't before you are now, because you're intrigued by this moment.

And if you've never been to a concert with me...

And introduce ourselves to Roger's new girlfriend.

And it made me realize something

And it's about time you said it.

And it's this Saturday night. See, that's good, Francine.

And jammed laxatives arm deep into a buffalo!

And just like that, I'm gay.

And just like that, I'm working for the Chinese again.

And l I just l I don't know.

And let me finish my own moment.

And look at my pendulous 'nads!

And look. We can hang your allergy pills here, your asthma inhaler there and

And lose our buzz? Come on! The night's just begun!

And make the other team's coach cry.

And make your job a lot more exciting?

And me getting away from mine... forever!

And meet in an hour to pitch.

And Mr. Epstein was my granddaddy.

And my chest hurts.

And my heart has a cavity that only you can fill.

And my Megan, she would have been 19 years old today.

And now I'd like to read selections from my letter of apology.

And now our last speaker from MADD, Warren Beanstalk.

And now you are.

And now, black music!

And once Debbie sees him freak out over losin' his precious gifts...

And people shouldn't be publicly shamed for not following it.

And please, Lord, give me the strength...

And pull the cord straight towards your chest.

And put a hard candy in your mouth so you'd have sweet dreams.

And rocked to sleep to Hindi lullabies.

And second

And second, they're talking about your spine.

And sending a message to my people to blow this dump of a planet up.

And she wrote that whole diary in her attic during World War II.

And she'll be out of your life forever.

And shove my face to the floor!

And sleeping with you at night.

And so I move that all bylaws which have been recklessly amended by Chairman McFreely...

And so, fellow students...

And so, on behalf of the Guinness Book of World Records...

And somebody has nothing!

And someone asks whether it's in or not, you'll know that it is in.

And sometimes, you know, I just be here at the house

And suddenly, I had another brilliant scheme.

And tartar sauce.

And tell the judge my father really has changed.

And thanks to your wonderful salesgirl here, I'll take them.

And that fat dude in the cape.

And that guy turned out to be a runaway alter ego of mine.

And that guy's dream

And that one's Sushi!

And that you strip him of his upcoming bar mitzvah ceremony!

And that'd be fine because I would have known my soul mate...

And that's how I bought this folding chair that turns into a backpack.

And the best ribs in the state are at Way Crazy's in Langley Falls.

And the ego goes into defense mode.

And the last thing I should be spending money on is a prostitute.

And the memory of our love would be enough to sustain me...

And the nights are all for me.

And the pink berets? What of them?

And the rest are down in my wig cellar.

And the second lead is 30 pounds overweight.

And the transvestite who pooped mozzarella dinosaurs."

And the winner of the Eastern Regional Beetman Tournament

And the world's most flexible contortionist.

And theJ FK assassination.

And the**** who run the A/V club.

And then ask my grandfather whyJim Nabors was at his funeral.

And then bust it out Roker style.

And then disappear all day so you can run around as one of your ridiculous personas.

And then he takes a chance. He takes a chance by joining the football team...

And then I saw you, and my fun went soft.

And then Officer Turlington followed me home!

And then remove the rats that had made said feces.

And then the crows will come.

And then they abandoned me years ago...

And then your parachute opens.

And then, like a bolt of lightning, it came to me telethon!

And there's a shooting pain in my left arm.

And there's always an underlying reason for this kind of thing.

And these are my equally important friends, Cheese, Hubert and Li Fung.

And they threatened to kick my ass because I wouldn't give them an " O."

And they threatened to kick my ass because I wouldn't give them an " O."

And this guy's a loser!

And this is how we're gonna do it with some unscheduled maintenance.

And this is where Etan's gift table will be.

And this is who I'm with. Greg is my partner.

And this tiny little box here is you.

And this will be exhibit "A."

And together they'd have a little Stan Fran

And told me all about your diseases and your dalliances!

And two.

And wants to take me on an expedition to Antarctica to find the colossal squid.

And was briefly married to Bill Belichick's niece.

And watched every heist movie from The Apple Dumpling Gang to Ocean's Twelve.

And we can't prevent it! Hayley has horrible taste in men.

And we spent the afternoon sharing our thoughts about her.

And we'll see how purple your majesty gets.

And we're not leaving that lake until you get a concussion.

And what do kids get for bar mitzvahs? Gifts and lots of'em.

And what if I gave you $1,800 and five cents?

And what you just said there, you crossed the line, buddy. I've decided.

And what's upstairs from there?

And when he had the position, he didn't have the momentum.

And when I tell your mother you're lying, she'll believe me too.

And when you weren't looking, I took your keys and replaced them with yogurt.

And while you're serving me, how about a little dollop of horseradish on the side?

And who shot Gianni Versace? Was it a Jew? I don't know. It was in Miami.

And who's this? Judy Panowitz. The " i" dotted with a heart.

And will never be bar mitzvahed.

And will you share that information with us willingly?

And won the championship ourselves?

And written sentiments that have no monetary worth but are emotionally valuable.

And you didn't realize that people are born that way.

And you don't know how to make love to a woman...

And you feel like you just slept eight hours.

And you know what Danny did? He looked at me.

And you need me to decide how many hot dogs to send them for their grand opening?

And you? You'll have this little piece.

And you're dressing your tongue up to go out trick or treatin'.

And you're gonna love this my wife, last week.

And you're living here.

And your character reference is his only chance for leniency.

And your dad's car I was trying to steal it.

And your gibberish got me punched in the boob.

And, Debbie, a super shalom to you.

And, Klaus, you got nothing because people think you're dead.

And, to a lesser extent, my partner, Mexican Joey...

Andy? Oh, my God, Andy!

Another assassination season stuck doing inventory with Mitchell.

Anybody seen that billboard for the local news?

Anyone else get a boner when Akiko slapped me?

Anyone else kind of hoping she's a midget?

Anyway, everything will be okay as soon as I have this delicious

Anyway, I found out where this Sydney guys works, where he lives, even his phone number.

Anyway, I thought he was dead.

Anyway, I took your iPod from the dresser for a variety of complex reasons...

Anyway, if we beat Smith's team, it won't save our season.

Anyway, just wanted to apologize for all my whining.

Anyway, platinum is used as a catalyst

Anyway, the planning stage is over.

Anyway. There was a notice in the paper.

Anyways, maybe sometimes I be on missions...

Apparently the ones I brought weren't good enough.

Apparently, a side effect of the acne treatment was total loss of

Apparently, his grandmother gave it to him.

Are the hottest thing in a cool pink can.

Are these balloons full ofheroin?

Are trying to escape school sanctioned mob justice.

Are we in an M. Night Shyamalan movie?

Are you going to achieve that by rob bing

Are you gonna marry my daughter?

Are you in love with Meg Penner?

Are you kidding me? This is gruesome.

Are you okay, Pandora? You look a little down.

Are you sad right now?

Are you Travis Bowe?

Are you, uh, gonna tell me what it is?

Aren't you Aren't you gonna freak out and go on a rampage?

As a child!

As am I.

As her godmother, I'll be there to support you all the way.

As if you've got nothin' to hide.

As long as I'm here, I might as well do my marketing.

As long as it's not too shticky.

As long as they bring booze or girls!

As long as we stay friends, there's nothing we can't

As part of the family. Beloved.

As she's dying from cancer.

As the day progressed, he was with nine more families in nine more outfits

As the happiest man alive by becoming Mrs. Lady Carolyn Gilbert Lawson Rojas?

As the pizza delivery man emerges from his carriage and rings the doorbell

As you can see, I've fashioned a disguise...

Ask him about school. It's the perfect opportunity to bond.

Assistant regional distribution manager for Hotdog Hauss.

At 3:15, my mom will be waiting for me in her S.U.V. Here.

At 7:00 with boxes and packing tape.

At a street fair in Little Eritrea.

At bit uncalled for, but whatever.

At least we made amends.

At next Monday's board meeting, that hydrant's going bye bye. Excuse me a second.

At the Macaroni Grill.

At this rate, the beer's gonna come out at the same time as the spring rolls!

Avery adopted him. That makes you his mother.

Avery, if your wife finds out about this, she'll be devastated

Avery? [Inhales Deeply]

Avril Lavigne! She sucks!

Aw, cheese and crackers!

Aw, Francine, you know I'll always come back.

Awakened from its subterranean slumber by mining activities.

B But that's a stupid law. And it's okay to break those, right, Dad?

B.T.W., I haven't gotten ticket money from any of you, wh which is cool.

Baby, none of this happens till you're dead.

Back home, I had a terrible gambling problem.

Bad news about Halloween, Francine.

Bam?

Bam. Bam. Bam.

Bar mitzvah cards, each filled with cash, checks...

Barry says different, which means...

Bathroom material. This V.I.P. Has to V.I. Pee pee.

Be careful, Steve. There's a man throwing things.

Be home at 10:00. And good bye.

Be reinstated to their original glory.

Beat it. Sydney's gone. And this guy only looks out for numero uno.

Beat it. Sydney's gone. And this guy only looks out for numero uno.

Because as of now, the neighborhood watch is disbanded.

Because corn dogs are fried.

Because Francine loves me, and I know she'll wait for me, no matter how long it takes.

Because he had to go to some

Because he's a grifter who doesn't care about me and never did.

Because I always admired John DeLorean.

Because I had to see how I stacked up.

Because I have some big stuff going on.

Because I haven't had a chance to go to the store yet, honey!

Because I just froze four. Oh! Oh! No, one just thawed out.

Because I thought you'd overreact.

Because I was captain of the debate team.

Because I will not do it! [Huffs]

Because I'm ashamed of her for more reasons than you can imagine.

Because I've got Oh, wait.

Because it's embarrassing. It was my father's job to teach me.

Because it's more important to find a golf ball than to please our wives!

Because it's still on vibrate from the movies last night.

Because l I need to get them appraised, for insurance purposes

Because next week we have a meeting with Global Mobile!

Because none of you have girlfriends.

Because of us, he missed out on his whole life.

Because of you I destroyed three innocent girls, lost Debbie...

Because of you, bitch, call your mother and tell her you killed her.

Because that's gonna be thrown at me.

Because that's the only man who knows the code to disarm the bomb, and he's not talking.

Because the hair gave me confidence.

Because we're optimistic. Ira and I.

Because when her husband had the time, he didn't have the energy...

Because you love me so much...

Because you said we were in this together.

Because you were spending too much time with her

Because you were too drunk is a definite no no.

Because you were too drunk is a definite no no.

Before they have them destroyed.

Before you tell him you're a turd burglar?

Behind your creepy, deformed back.

Behind your creepy, deformed back.

Behold my Fortress of Solitude!

Behold, a grown man weeping like a

Behold, it is here! My first pube!

Behold, Mother! Your husband is a giant

Behold! Fabulous Thunderbirds, bitches

Being trapped in this room is stressing me out.

Being with you during the day...

Beit din? Wh What's that?

Beneath the water tower tomorrow night.

Besides, every time I look at A. J...

Besides, it's just until I can find a woman for Avery.

Bet ya she's the broad you bought the ring for.

Better than sitting at home with the wife, bored out of my

Better. Stevie Ray Vaughan's older brotherJimmie.

Big stuff going on. Yes, I know. We've all heard it.

Bill Bill

Bill, why aren't we back at the room right now having sex?

Bill, you ever jerk it in the great big blue?

Bill! Oh, I'm so glad you're here! I'll go get my bag.

Birthday party? Oh, right!

Boing eats

Boing meets girl.

Bon voyage, Hayley

Boner structure.

Bosom of our upper middle class... bosom

Bosom.

Bought a Hopi Indian revenge mask in the last 50 years.

Boy, does that sound like heaven. Kind of in a rush though.

Boys and girl You're a girl, right?

Brad, Jenny

Bring him back, you monsters!

Brownies!

Bullock always has dignitaries and heads of state there.

Bullock's wife is being held by a vicious gang of Islamic terrorists.

Busy? I was here first.

But But... I was gonna teach him stuff.

But a word of warning. This car is an ass magnet.

But actually, you're taking this better than I expected.

But after 11:00 p.m. We go our separate ways.

But an above ground sprinkler is a snake in the grass!

But are you strong enough to point that high powered perception at yourself?

But as I don't partake of the devil's nectar, I've decided upon gloves.

But by that time, we were engaged...

But deep down, you must have known, so this is a good thing.

But do you know what the second greatest nation is?

But don't worry. Everything's gonna be fine.

But don't worry. Snot will have a role to play before this is over.

But don't worry. You and me? That's still happenin'.

But every time I get on one, I get so mad at my dad, I lose my concentration and fall.

But first, the ritual of the rusty dagger...

But first, you will have to meet my demands.

But for God's sake, the man needs you.

But he can't take your spirit! Now is the time to fight!

But he keeps his chin up through all of it.

But he tricked you into running away with him.

But he was just trying to help.

But he watches the corner of Wilton and Delancy for us.

But I can't because the C.I.A. Made me a freaking fish!

But I couldn't get close to that key.

But I did learn something:

But I didn't steal anything.

But I do like lawyers, but I don't like offices.

But I do like peaches.

But I do understand how it feels to be a powerless outcast.

But I don't see the colossal squid. Wait a second.

But I get off when they get off.

But I got something that's gonna make everything all right stickers!

But I have got some big stuff going on.

But I never laid around the pool having Meg Penner rub lotion on me.

But I still have to report it to my insurance.

But I still like my idea of putting David Blaine in an airless refrigerator.

But I think if anyone in the world could do it, it'd be you boys.

But I told them the bag stays with me!

But I wanted to go straight from the airport to my Fortress of Solitude.

But I will. I promise.

But I'll catch you later, nerds. [Laughs]

But I'll think of another one "crust" in time.

But I'm an artist, so that's the life I chose.

But I'm having a small cocktail party tomorrow night.

But I'm just not as strong as [Gasps]

But I'm not gonna be branded a liar again!

But I'm not gonna be branded a liar again!

But I'm not ready to tell anybody.

But I'm pretty sure the**** didn't know about 9/11.

But I'm really nervous. What if they catch us?

But I'm saving 10 minutes by not being all fake and smiley.

But I'm sharing in the laughter!

But I'm sure you're fine.

But if not, well, I'll have my answer.

But if we want to survive this, we need to work together.

But if you just can't stop thinking about this gorgeous mug...

But if you say yes to my next question, I know that all the dark clouds...

But if you say yes to my next question, I know that all the dark clouds...

But instead of a dummy, I use a car.

But instead, she just sobs...

But it doesn't even matter, 'cause I'm not going back. I'm never going back!

But it turns out he's just a crash test dummy.

But it will spoil theirs. Now, what do you say?

But it's a weekday. That's "once in a while on weekends" talk.

But it's actually going to help you.

But it's daytime. You're talking about nighttime stuff.

But it's like my tattoo says

But it's not fair. We have so much lost time to make up for.

But it's not too late. We can kill Turlington...

But it's the '50s, and you don't know what to do with those feelings.

But it's time for you to go home.

But look at all these turfs we need to pass through!

But luckily, we found someone who can help.

But more importantly...

But my dad's not gay!

But my number one duty is to say howdy doody to your fruity.

But my Stan Smith is dead on.

But not the Verne Troyer kind.

But now I realize I just want time with you.

But now that I hear it, it's just right.

But our Valentine's Day getaway is just around the corner.

But out here, I'm the law! You're in McFreely Town!

But Roger's too powerful for just the two of us to take down. We're gonna need help.

But s'mores sound really good.

But since the new law, you can't get it anymore.

But that that that that can't be.

But that balloon is for official Guinness business only.

But that doesn't mean I need to stoop to their level.

But that means your picture's gonna be in the paper tomorrow

But that's just a misdirection. The real gifts we're after are the ones in his jacket.

But the exit polls from the math department are trending in our direction.

But the homeowner's association ordered earlier trash pickup at this house only.

But the truth is you were right. I love you.

But the whole thing was messy, so I jumped ship in Okinawa...

But then come back. Steve, can you hear me?

But then I found all these C.I.A. Surveillance cameras all over the house.

But then it wasn't my card! It wasn't my card at all!

But there is a tantrum brewing in me the likes of which this mall has never seen.

But there is something you should know.

But there's always the spring cotillion.

But there's always the spring cotillion.

But they cost $ 10 times my monthly budget for hand clothes

But understand that I am a homosexual, yes?

But we can be spoilers.

But we can plant a story in the school paper saying you collect compasses.

But we might as well go out in a blaze of glory.

But we need a magician. Is there a magician on this team?

But we never said we wanted to see

But we're never gonna get any answers that way.

But we've been here barely an hour.

But what about me?

But what does he know about story? Bupkes.

But what if that detective sees you with someone other than me?

But what you did makes me feel...

But when I got back to the pumps, they were gone

But when it's someone you care about, well, I understand now why you went all nutter butters.

But when that clock runs down, this building will explode.

But when you see him, do me a favor. Tell him he blew it.

But who ruined the success of others.

But why would the hooker take your car to this guy?

But why'd she go so crazy?

But you can still salvage my love by finding my other glove.

But you can talk to your dad.

But you can't just beat us to death on school property.

But you changed. You're innocent.

But you have a wife and kids at home.

But you have two blanks. You can spell " liar," " go"...

But you know he does, right?

But you know that deep, deep in my heart I've always loved

But you strut around like you're Mary, Queen of Scots, Brangelina and Jesus all rolled into one.

But you're welcome to as many hot meals and warm cots as you need.

But you're worse. You stole my idea and lied about it to your own family.

But, Daddy, l I tried my hardest.

But, Debbie, we were gonna use the reward money to buy a real cat skeleton.

But, no, he had more important stuff to do.

But, Roger, I've never seen my dad cry. I don't think he can.

But, yeah, now I'm here, in this part.

But... while you think it's terrible...

But... why would he Unless

Butt head.

Buying me a tiny remote control helicopter that'll break the moment I use it!

Buying me a tiny remote control helicopter that'll break the moment I use it!

By 11:00 a.m. He was in line for the flume...

By an armed stranger who failed the psychological test to become a cop.

By completing the Beetman video game.

By the way, thanks for letting me borrow your eye patch.

Bye, boys. It was a memorable night.

Bye, Mom. Going on the road with Klaus for 15 weeks, following My Morning Jacket.

Bye! Have a beautiful time!

Bye! Have a beautiful time.

Bye! Have a beautiful time.

Bye! Have a beautiful time.

Bye! Have a beautiful time.

Bye. Have a beautiful time

Bye. Have a beautiful time!

Bye. Have a beautiful time!

Bye. Have a beautiful time!

Bye. Have a beautiful time!

Bye. Have a beautiful time!

Bye. Have a beautiful time!

Bye. Have a beautiful time.

Bye. Have a beautiful time.

Bye. Have a beautiful time.

Bye. Have a beautiful time.

Bye. Have a beautiful time.

Bye. Have a beautiful time.

Bye. Have a beautiful time.

Bye. Have a beautiful time.

Bye. Have a beautiful time.

C.I.A.

C.I.A. Very impressive. [Snaps Fingers]

Cabin number two, Frasier Lake. Ten minutes.

Call me old fashioned, but I'm the man. I'll handle the bags.

Call me Tommy. Mr. Calhoun was my daddy.

Can I finish my story, please?

Can I rub your back?

Can we have one family meal without someone flashing their genitalia?

Can we sometimes meet for a snack?

Can you imagine, Stan?

Carlotta Monterey. Nice to meet you.

Caught a flight home, got back last night.

Caution. Objects in mirror may be sadder than they appear

Chairing the homeowner's association's my game.

Chairman McFreely may have disbanded the neighborhood watch.

Charles, we're moving out!

Charlie Sheen sleeps with whores then has breakfast with a fat child.

Che Guevara?

Check it out. A wallet made of rabbit fur.

Check out my rocket zipper.

Cheerio, Junior.

Cheesers came back.

Chick a, chick a.

Choose your method of challenge.

Chrome dome, baldy, cue ball, "Leukemia" Skywalker

Churros, elephant ears The whole nine yards.

Class, we have a new student joining us today.

Collaboration is an important thing

Collapsible flowers on wires. Slips right out of your sleeve. You want to be amazing?

Come back to us when you've worked out literally everything.

Come here, you son of a bitch bastard.

Come on, AveryJunior. You shouldn't see Daddy like this.

Come on, Barry. Let's go drop off your gift.

Come on, boys! We're getting you out of here.

Come on, guys. Let's go home.

Come on, honey. Let's go have our weekend.

Come on, l 24!

Come on, let's get to Biology. It's fetal pig day.

Come on, man. Loosen up.

Come on, number one.

Come on, Steve. What do you say?

Come on!

Come on! Blow her off!

Come on! Jugs, nerd, gays to the van!

Come on. Come on. Come on. Let's go.

Come on. Give me a break. You only have to wear that brace for six weeks.

Come on. It was my first sloppy seconds.

Come on. Let's go get drunk. You're driving.

Come on. Let's go to another room.

Come on. Let's go to bed.

Come on. Let's go to the fridge to check on the bologna situation.

Come on. Let's go to the fridge to check on the bologna situation.

Come on. Old times?

Come on. One more play and my dad will know what it feels like to lose.

Come on. The password you chose? In case you want to call off the hit?

Come out or your girlfriend gets it.

Come see my room.

Comes by and says this is her dog, it is.

Comfy there, Mr. Decider?

Coming back around. Keep the dream alive.

Coming right up. I just wanted to introduce you to my friend Sandy.

Congratulate Achmed Asadi for making the world's biggest falafel.

Constructive vandalism? Charles, how does my morning look?

Could anyone else have played Colonel Mustard in Clue?

Could be fun. You see, Hayley, that's how you make the "maybe" pile.

Course he did it, and he said it was all his idea. Made me look like a total liar.

Course it is, you old polecat.

Coward! I gave you everything!

Coward.

Craigslist? What is that, like Schindler's List?

Crap! We should have been running instead of wrapping up.

Crash test dummy? But they told me

Crime beat?

Criss Angel? You freak my mind, you filthy punk.

Cubs make good eating. Sliced thin on a Ritz. Mmm.

Curl up with a book, maybe write a song.

Cut! Cut! I'm sorry, folks. I have no idea how that tape got in there.

Dad Dad!

Dad kicked me off the football team. All he cares about is winning.

Dad loves sports. I bet he'd love to watch me play.

Dad, all I want is for you to be the man that you're asking me to be.

Dad, are we having a father/son moment?

Dad, are you breaking the law?

Dad, he's changed. I took my measure of him...

Dad, his trial's going on right now. You gotta hurry!

Dad, I found out how you can reintroduce your proposal at the next association meeting!

Dad, I have something to tell you...

Dad, I haven't started the Parthenon. It's due tomorrow, and I'm really tired.