The Ladies Man (2000) Edit

A good idea of what we can bring to your station.

A little bit more special.

A lonely, misguided...

A lot of these are from my wife.

A truck overturned in the slow lane.

A)" f Soul ]

About the “trailer park of the sea“ line, my houseboat...

Acapulco, Sweden, maybe the Solomon Islands.

Actually, get two thumbs up in there, you know, like the Fonz.

After grabbing a big, husky guy like Brian...

After that it Wash "t easy for the little man, but he got along.

Ah, gentlemen, can I help you?

Ain't that right, Scrap Iron?

All I know is that all my problems, they are now solved.

All right, fine. We can take it outside.

All right, that's nice. I got everything but the glass.

All right.

All right. So let's take some more calls. Go ahead, caller.

All right. Sure, Sweet Thing. Ha ha!

All your old lady ever wanted was you to spend time gettin' her in the mood.

Along the Stevenson Expressway, the traffic moving along nicely.

Also, if you are rich and you want to be boned,

And also I bought you a box of my favorite Mexican wine.

And because I have what is called 20 20 memory,

And besides that, Julie, you have to learn...

And cut his balls off!

And do it in the butt.“

And dorks hundreds of ladies, many of whom he don't even remember,

And from this moment on, I declare our supreme manliness!

And hang out with no underpants.

And her mother has a video camera.

And how long have you been, uh, “ nunning" it up?

And I am painfully shy.

And I can't understand why anyone would ever want to seduce you.

And I formed this group.

And I have all the money we'll ever need to make a fresh start.

And I read:

And I think we got time for one more call.

And I'll probably be holding it for a very longtime.

And I'm ready to take your calls.

And I've never stopped thinking of myself...

And if I can have the self control to not bone a lady as fine as she is

And if Leon Phelps is responsible for even one more...

And in that warm family environment,.

And it was like, " Uh uh uh uh.

And it was so stuffed with crap.

And Lance, dear, can you kick ass quietly?

And Lance. Well, Lance, you're clearly gay.

And look at that nice poster of Rick Astley.

And one day, he'll slip up.

And out of it I saw our man running through the parking lot.

And pinning him down to the ground...

And raised as one of their own.

And same old threats from the boss.

And she'd have to be attractive.

And she'd have to have known you long enough...

And so I was doing the twin sisters and then her mother walks in,

And straight to the F.C.C.

And that is my frieze.

And that makes me somewhat like an expert.

And the magic just happened once on that chair that you're touching.

And then again in June of '96.

And then Apr“ of '$6.

And then I will close the deal by giving her a preview of...

And then I will commence to whisper sweet words in her ear.

And then twice more on January 15,1997.

And they going right down here. Mmm! Mmm!

And three more times in the spring of '99

And wait for something to randomly happen.

And we are desperate for someone to fill her old slot.

And we spent a lot of time in this area here.

And we're almost out of time here on Money Matters,

And what do you know.

And when he does, we're gonna be there to nail him...

And when you find him, tell him to come in and pick up this crap.

And why do you feel like you have to sleep with all of them?

And why do you have a water bed when you live on a boat?

And will occasionally find myself waking up in the streets.

And winos and ditsy women who think they can run with the big boys.

And you will learn a new definition of pain!

And you'll see by tomorrow Bucky Kent will be all cooled down.

And you're not freaky or disgustin', please give us a call.

Another Shadow traffic update with TJ. Burks in ten minutes.

Arbor Day, Cinco de Mayo and Flag Day.

Are we going to do it?

Are you with someone tonight?

As far as I'm concerned, he can stay as long as he wants.

As you can see, she did not sign her name,

As your very special Sweet Thing.“

Ass tattoo.

At at Brian's.

Baby, I want to leave my whole life behind and run away with you.

Bangkok is lovely. In fact, I'm looking forward to taking it all in.

Bangkok. Yeah. That's, uh, cool.

Barney, is that you?

Because I have written the names of all of my very special sweet ladies down...

Because over the years I have learned to not do...

Because this is where the magic happens.

Booze... and penicillin.

Boss, you want us to let him go now, or

Boy, excuse me. Anyways, doggy style

But because...

But before I go, I'd like to leave you with just one more thought.

But definitely not as much. And that makes me angry.

But he started out life on the steps of a majestic mansion.

But here's a funny thing about running after a dream

But here's a quick wrap up of the day's biggest stories.

But I can't do it. Somethin' is wrong.

But I cannot keep the future Mrs. Leon Phelps waiting.

But I finally decided to go over her head about this...

But I just can't live like this anymore.

But I like to call it Freaky Deeky Sex World.

But I still remember the tender moments we spent together.

But I'm in I'm in really bad shape.

But it's not the end of his story by along shot.

But Leon being Leon,

But listen. I am doing good, if you were askin'.

But of“ boning," you see what I'm saying?

But she definitely didn't understand my passion...

But the one thing that they cannot take away...

But then when we started to do it, all I could think about was Julie's face.

But you can't blame the Wang.

But you still got Leon Phelps. I'm sticking it out here.

By another insincere man.

By Leon Phelps.

By the sight of that man's ass.

Can we sell it? [Laughs] just kiddin'.

Causing ripples throughout the banking industry,

Chicago's number one news and financial net work.

Come back to me, Leon. I'm waiting for you...

Come on in, baby. The water's fine.

Come on. Let's see if we can get you into bed.

Conquer heaven with one intimate caress.

Continuing the trend of unloading the bulk of its holdings...

Could you please meet me at the nacho cart?

Courvoisier, yes. That is the drink.

Crawling back to that jerk just because I got both of us fired.

Cry havoc, and set free the dogs of war!

Cuckoo, cuckoo. Yeah.

Custom made, $100.

Cyrus Cunningham? Your ex fiance?

Damn it!

December, 1994.

Del an e.

DeLune, DeLune.

DeLune!

Did you say that woman's name was Honey DeLune?

Didn't you send me a note about getting together and sharing your money, love?

Do I have the right place? I was just

Do not question your love.

Does not the wind love the dirt?

Does not this flower of love...

Don't argue with me about it. I don't care if you are a doctor.

Don't let the smooth taste fool you. I'm from the streets.

Don't open that door, McGee.“

Don't push up on me in front of your peeps, okay?

Don't worry. It's a passing thing. Okay, Hillary?

Don't worry. When you're really, truly in love,

Don't you worry,Julie. I'm a man of action.

Easy. Easy, girl. That's one rambunctious guzzle you got there.

Eat all you want, boys. Eat all you want.

Educated, debutante, high society bus station skank.

Especially not in a Laundromat.

Ever since we last saw each other,

Everything will work out. Trust me.

Except a son.

Excuse me. I'll just be a minute changing.

Excuse me. What was that, little man?

Fantastic.

Folks like Enya, Yanni, Tesh.

For about 30 years now.

For another day.

For wrestling.

From all the sluts he's been banging for the past couple of years.

From sweet Leon...

From the lowliest bus station skank...

From the training.

Gas bill.

Gentlemen,

Gentlemen, let's torch it.

Gentlemen, please step into the serenity...

Gentlemen, there will be no fighting in this bar.

Gentlemen, we've been waiting for this day for a longtime.

Gentlemen... he's mine.

Get him!

Get me the bolt cutters.

Go to the bus station or to a bowling alley...

Going UP

Gold takes a big hit on the floor as the International Monetary Fund...

Good, good.

Good.

Greco Roman wrestling.

Has always been a thorn in my side.

Have the fragrant aroma affine, fine diamonds?

Have you ever gone down the Yellow River?

Have you ever known the joys of a missionary position?

He already has.

He always did.

He had everything he wanted,

He had this, like, smiley...

He has a little sip of cognac now and then, but

He learned everything a bright kid would wanna know about

He runs out of all of our houses bare assed, you know.

He said that the radio station won’t pay for any more of your fines.

He seduced my wife. He screwed all our women!

He'll be given a lot of money without having to earn it.

He's a dangerous thief of hearts.

He's unprofessional. He drinks on the air.

Hello? Am I on?

Her money. Leon, this is a love letter, not a lottery ticket.

Her name is Julie, and I never listened to her.

Here comes the pterodactyl. Hope you like it.

Here's a story I'm gonna tell you. It goes a little something like this.

Here's why I ask. Because it looks like somebody...

Here's your Oops.

Hey, go ahead, caller. You got The Ladies Man.

Hey, Sandra, it's me, Leon. What's happening?

Hey, there, Leon!

Hey, what's happenin'?

Hey, what's happening, Evelyn? I remember

Hey, what's happening? This is Leon Phelps. You got The Ladies Man.

Hey. But that is the only tape.

Hey. How you doin'?

Hi, Brian.

Hi. Can I get some more waffles down here? Thank you.

His days as the fastest and loosest Wang in town may be over,

His face appeared on the nation's most popular brand of hog balls.

His name is Leon Phelps.

His name is Leon Phelps. I fired him a week ago.

His popularity grew and grew until he was one of the biggest deejays in town.

Hmm? Good, huh?

Honey DeLune!

Houseboat bill. Electrical bill.

How am I supposed to do that? We tried every radio station in town.

How do you know when you're really, truly in love?

How do you know when you're really, truly in love?

How does a trip around the world sound for starters?

How he brings home the bacon.

How you boys doing?

How you doing? Good to see you.

Huh? Yeah.

Human shit? Human shit?

I am an expert in the ways of love.

I bet you're wondering what a nice girl like that is doing in a place like this.

I can eat this. Fine. I can eat it. If this is what you want, fine.

I can tell you how I felt when I knew I was truly in love.

I caught this mysterious tattooed guy and my wife going at it...

I did it. I did it! [Laughing]

I did not do anything to deserve this. [Crying]

I didn't force myself onto your women.

I didn't invite Leon

I didn't think it showed.

I don't know if you've heard of a lady who goes by the name of Celine Dion.

I don't know what she sees in him.

I don't know. Maybe there's somebody out there who don't know you.

I don't mean like thinkin' about some hot chick when you're bonin' a skank.

I don't need some crazy mystery lady.

I don't stay up that late anymore.

I don't think so.

I don't wanna talk. I just came to pick up my

I drank that one for Leon's one true love.

I get to fire him. [Chuckles]

I got my Courvoisier cognac right here,

I guess she packed her wedding dress away...

I hate the houseboat guy.

I have a Ph.D. in tang, as it were.

I have a plan for this type of thing.

I have done it to a lot of ladies,

I have made these photocopies for you all to take a look at.

I have performed the magic once in that wastepaper basket.

I have to say I've heard of you, but I'm not too familiar with your show.

I hear a voice that I connect to a face.

I I saw the guy.

I just got a letter from the F.C.C.

I just got off the phone with my Sweet Thing.

I know I'm in control of my personal world.

I know it has been a longtime since we parted ways that fateful night,

I know that now, because I, too, have a woman that I love.

I mean You know what I'm...

I mean, there must be some way to catch this woman's dude.

I mean, this is my statue, and this is my carpet.

I mean, when's it gonna be our turn, right?

I mean, you could find all the women you been with in town, right?

I meet you under the stands at a dog track. You sweet talk me into leaving.

I need to think this through. You call me when you come back to reality.

I noticed an open window,

I remember how you said I was your one true love.

I returned home only to find my wife lying there...

I said that you don't talk to Julie like that.

I saw him running running down the street.

I see under " interests, " you've written " Debit" ?

I seem to be dropping all your mail.

I simply gave them somethin' that you all wasn't givin' them.

I swear, I never thought I could be taken in again...

I tell you what I'm gonna do. We only got three minutes left for the show.

I think that you wrote the mystery letter.

I think you'll be glad that you decided to come.

I told you before, Leon, it's not a yacht if you get mail there.

I told you we were a lot alike.

I want you even more.

I was cleaning up the broom closet,

I was in training for the U.S. Olympic Team.

I was just saying to your wife Honey that I'm a changed man.

I was raised on pig's feet.

I was too busy trying to be " Leon Phelps, The Ladies Man, "

I was with these two girls, right?

I was, uh I was kind of hoping that you'd help me out.

I wasted a lot of my time in the process.

I will be going to the bathroom to puke up a hog ball.

I will crush you,

I will. This is my house, after all. Right?

I would hate to see you as an old man, Leon.

I would have fired him years ago if he wasn't such a

I would love to stay and have another one, like I usually do,

I would never do something of this nature.

I would’ve chased after him, but I was too sore.

I' thiS time f.”

I'd like to remind you, young lady,

I'll be right there.

I'm about to go on. I have to stay in character.

I'm actually with these guys. You're all right in my book.

I'm Gil Stewart, looking after your money.

I'm going to assume a missionary position,

I'm in a relationship, but I don't know if he is for real.

I'm just gonna ease my way out. Play a little music. No more phone calls.

I'm must go and have sex...

I'm on my way to see the girl of my dreams.

I'm presently in the process of getting my resume typed up over at Kinko's.

I'm so glad you invited Leon here to spend this time with us.

I'm so tired of being “ The Lad/es Man. ”

I'm sorry to interrupt you. Yeah, I know you gotta go.

I'm sorry, Lance. I'm going home.

I'm sorry. What were you saying, sweet thing?

I'm sure you're aware your little friend, Leon Phelps,

I'm telling you, he's just what your station needs.

I'm trying to concentrate over here.

I'm, uh I'm sorry about the door.

I've eaten more exotic foods than that.

I've got a crazy idea.

I've got a few minutes before I go on.

I've never seen anything like this in my life.

I've waited longer for this than anyone.

Idiot.

If that's her name, Leon is in a whole lot of trouble.

If the lady lives right here in Chicago, that ought to be easy.

If you got some Courvoisier, we could pour some of that in here too.

If you need a temp job, let me know, okay? Gotta go. Love your place.

In fact, he got

In fact, I'm looking around this place...

In fact, the only thing that ever compared...

In favor of better performing securities.

In hell!

In July, 1992.

In most cases, it was really good.

In this magical kingdom,

In this, my black book.

Instead of Leon Phelps, the man.

Is his dignity.

Is in this rich lady's letter and her money.

Is it not the sweetest flower?

Is that you suffer from,

It ain't no thing, all right? It ain't no thing.

It happened when I met someone...

It is 2:30 in the a.m., and you are listenin' to The Ladies Man.

It is the fault of the Wang. I should cut this thing off.

It was April, 1990.

It was sort of a missionary position

It will randomly work out!

It would’ve been really nice if you had written this letter.

It'll work out, you’ll see.

It's all right, baby. Men are pigs.

It's all right, man.

It's more like a trailer park of the sea.

It's my opinion. I can have that if I'd like.

It's no houseboat, but it's nice.

It's not what you think.

It's time to take it back.

Jeez!

Julie, can you do that again?

Julie, when am I gonna see your room?

Julie, when am I gonna see your room?

Julie, you made it just in time.

Julie. Come on in.

Just came tumbling down all over me.

Just speed through. Same stuff.

Just thought you could use a little advice.

Just to impress you and the rest of the Sunshine Band, I'll eat it.

Kept on laughing. I thought she was crazy.

Kill him!

L I'm the problem.

Ladies, if you are rich and I boned you,

Lam rich!

Lance!

Lance!

Lance! Lance! Lance! Lance!

Lance! Lance! Lance! Lance!

Lance! Lance! Lance! Lance!

Last time I trusted you, you told the city of Chicago to do it in the butt.

Leon developed into quite a stylish young man.

Leon didn't go home with her, but he took home her business card.

Leon Phelps here, and I am looking at a half empty bottle of Courvoisier,

Leon Phelps.

Leon single handedly saved my second and fourth marriages.

Leon, all your problems will be solved when you get a job like normal people.

Leon, we may never work in radio again.

Leon, why haven't you called me?

Leon's completely cleaned up his act.

Lester, could you just shut up and give me the number for Honey DeLune?

Lester, how come you tell that story every time we walk into this bar?

Let it feel your your...

Let me give you the play by play.

Let me help you with that. There you go.

Let me just grab these keys, and we'll be right inside.

Let me see if I remember Cour

Let me see that.

Let's do it like we used to real nasty!

Let's go back to my place.

Let's go. Come on.

Let's have a drink. Come on in, baby.

Let's have a quickie for old time's sake.

Let's see what we've got here.

Like a bank or somethin'.

Like this “ Hey." [ Chuckles]

Listen Listen, Honey, I don't think this is a good idea.

Listen up, everybody. This will be...

Listen, baby, that was cool, but I gotta go.

Listen, baby, the answer to all of our troubles...

Listen, don't talk to Julie like that.

Listen, how about you have a I'd like to offer you a pickled pig's feet.

Listen, I could really use that drink now.

Listen, I don't care what you say. Chlamydia is a soup.

Listen, I handle my drink better than today.

Listen, I was wondering, can I ask you a question?

Listen, I'm sorry. We We got off on the wrong foot here.

Listen, Julie, you are now in the world of Leon Phelps, okay?

Listen, maybe it's not a good idea. We don't have the time to do this.

Listen, seriously, Lester. Can you take a break for a second?

Listen, there's no reason to go there.

Listen, this is not cool.

Look at this place. This place is disgusting.

Look out, Chicago! The Ladies Man is back!

Look what it's done to us.

Look, Cyrus, why don't you just listen for a second?

Look, everybody. People are actually eating the bar food.

Look, you got your nice little stuffed animals there.

Look! He's a circus clown!

Ls not love not unlike the unlikely not it is unliking to?

Ma'am, I'm gonna have to put you on hold, okay? Lad/es Man.

Man, I'd like to take a bite out of your butt.

Maybe I didn't understand her needs.

Maybe we won't actually go that far.

Maybe you didn't want to have anything to do with me.

Mistakes are sometimes funny.

Mm hmm.

Mm mmm.

Mm!

Mm.

Mmm!

Mmm'. Mmm, mmm, mmm'.!

Mostly at K Mart and Wal Mart.

Mr. Phelps.

Mrs. Robinson, are you trying to seduce me?

Much like Moses in the days of old.

Musky form down hard.

My God, this is a butt load of cash you got here.

My houseboat. It's my houseboat!

My husbands away.

My lovely producer, Julie Simmons,

My name is Leon Phelps, and to those of you that are uninitiated,

My personal space.

My Sport:

My wife and I didn't have a perfect marriage.

My wife of seven years was in the sack with another guy.

Next caller, go ahead. You got The Ladies Man.

Next caller. You got The Ladies Man.

Next caller. You got The Ladies Man.

Next one? There is no next one.

Next thing, I'm busting slobs with you in a bathroom of a Chuck E. Cheese.

No matter what they do to me, they can fire me from their radio station,

No o o!

No, he was not. Why? Because we're men among men.

No, I'm not dead. Surprise.

No, I'm not.

No, it's not good.

No, listen, Julie. That is where you are wrong.

No, no, no, no, no. I hope you burn in hell.

No, that's “ da" butt.

No, to me you've always been just plain old Leon Phelps.

No, we are not going to do it.

No, we don't let him go! Get back in there!

No, we promise there won't be any more vulgar material.

No,Julie, listen. I can't stand the idea of you...

No!

No!

No! No!

No? Okay. Go on up there. Have a good time tonight.

No? Well, let's move onto somethin' else.“ You just need to listen.

Not because he was smart and not because he was rich,

Not by a woman but by a man.

Not every one. I can still pull a favor, hopefully,

November of '95.

Now listen. All you men here with wives or girlfriends...

Now, back to Money Matters. I'm your host, Gil Stewart,.

Now, give it to me, you stud.

Now, I understand that your work...

Now, I will see you and Bill this weekend. Okay? Bye bye.

Now, Leon Phelps, prepare to meet your doom.

Now, years ago I was in the army,

Nuts! Al's right.

Obviously, you haven't grown up much since our little mistake.

Of my beautiful foyer.

Oh, boy.

Oh, don T stop! Oh, don "t

Oh, he left his clothes at your house.

Oh, it's because there's more motion in the ocean.

Oh, man.

Oh, my God!

Oh, my God! It is!

Oh, no, that is workin'. Yeah.

Oh, uh, Leon, you're gonna have to give me a little bit of time.

Oh, very nice. Very nice.

Oh, well, on to the next one.

Oh, what the hell.

Oh, when so much time went by, I thought...

Oh, yeah, look at that. Oh, yeah, it's fresh.

Oh, yeah? Well, I still live in the streets...

Oh, yes! Oh, yes! Don't stop.

Oh, yes.

Oh, yes. I'm going to enjoy this.

Oh, you might try his houseboat,

Oh,yes, this is good.

Oh! Heh heh!

Oh! Yes, indeed. Look at them.

Okay ♪ Hey, macarena ♪♪

Okay, I told you this was temporary.

Okay, I'll stay for one pickled egg.

Okay, listen, this is very nice, but

Okay, listen. I don't know.

Okay, sir, listen.

Okay, that's cool, I guess. But listen.

Okay, you're gonna have to hold anyway, sir. Yeah.

Okay.

One night, I went out to train...

One pickled dish at a time. Why are we gonna

Only one thing was off limits.

Ooh, look at that. They got two balls.

Ooh, what is this?

Ooh!

Ooh. It's a lady.

Or as I like to call it, my personal " skankuary. "

Or as they say in the medical profession, the ball sac.

Or sisters or mothers,

Or, “Do you want to do it in the butt?

Our general area of our search, okay?

Our morning anchor quit, out of the blue.

Over at WAMS from Cyrus.

Perhaps you thought I'd recoil from your bar food, but

Pertaining to us and our love life.

Pin its its well oiled and...

Play some AI Green and smack her on the ass. She likes that.

Plus, I felt it in my pants.

Poor little Leon was thrown out into the cold,

Practically nobody eats these.

Release the power within yourself

Right.

Right. After that, I discovered there were others like me,.

Rot in hell, Honey DeLune.

Say there, sweet thing.

Say, is that a picture of him over there?

Say, look at this. It's a telegram from Jimmie Walker.

Say, sweet thing, can I buy you a fish sandwich?

Score! Score! Score!

Scrap Iron, you're my man.

See? I'll eat it here. Cut it up a little bit and eat it like that. See?

She can do that amazing thing with her tongue

She didn't understand the thrill any man would feel...

She didn't understand why Brian, my wrestling partner, and I...

She is over there and she is awaiting with bated breath...

She said she was in radio. Said she wanted to put Leon on the radio.

She'd have to be single.

She'd have to have parents that wouldn’t throw you off the porch.

Shh. I was bonin' a lady inside.

So excuse me while Leon Phelps shows you...

So I bid you adieu. See you on the other side of the tracks.

So I guess she thought I knew who she was.

So I opened the door...

So I suppose you could say I'm full of contentment and cheer.

So it became really difficult for me to use the telephone.

So she puts it on the tripod and she starts to ram it.

So this is my fabulous yacht.

So why don't we talk about something else.

So you don't want a fish sandwich?

So, if you have a romantic query and you are under the age of 50...

So, is that it?

So, listen, excuse me.

So, yes, I think I have found true happiness. And I raise my glass.

Soft breath on on the back of its neck.

Something is wrong. I can't do this.

Something like

Something like

Sometimes what you were dreaming about was in front of you all along.

Sorry about that. I brought you some flowers.

Sorry, Leon. I'm not really interested in settling down right now.

Sounds like the answer for you is doing it doggy style.

Speed on through.

Spicy hog balls. Where'd you find these?

Spring of '89.

Stereo systems and, of course, love.

Stole two fine hams and shoved them down the back of your dress.

Stop talking.

Such a favorite with the owner of the station.

Sure you don't want a dab? It's a lemon essence, and it is delightful.

Susan from Oak Park. you have a question for Leon?

Sweet Thing is Honey DeLune!

Take your lover by the hand.

Takes you all around the world, is that right?

Talk to her, Lord. Please talk to her.

Tame the wild cosmos with a whisper.

Tattoo thing on his, uh, on his, uh

Thank you for sticking up for me.

Thank you, Candy. You see, I like to help people. That is what I do.

Thank you, Scrap.

That I was gonna let that dude disrespect my Julie twice.

That is good Courvoisier.

That is it!

That is not wrestling! Hello!

That is not wrestling! Hello!

That made everything that I enjoy in life...

That place was full of pleather and cologne.

That should be reason enough to let me go.

That tells me that this is my very special Sweet Thing.

That there are more important things in life than work.

That was along shot. Wore me out.

That was beautiful.

That was not a good idea.

That was two years ago.

That's a good question.

That's a song I wrote for you.

That's a very good question, Candy. Yes, I can,

That's cool. But you were tryin' to oil me up, and that's not really cool.

That's delightful.

That's exactly what I was wondering one night about two years ago.

That's for sure. Whoops. Butterfingers.

That's gonna get you kicked off the air

That's Hal. Don't make any sudden moves around him.

That's it.

That's my cue. I'm out of here.

That's my urn.

That's nonsense,Julie. There's that kiddie station up in Wilmette.

That's not Don't

That's not a crazy idea. I like that idea and I will support it.

That's not nice. What's wrong with you fellas?

That's right, baby. It's your Laundromat love machine.

That's right!

That's right!

That's right. Don't be shy.

That's right. That's right.

That's the craziest thing I've ever thought of.

That's the day I believe a wet bird don't fly at night.

That's the first time it's ever worked.

That's the way I like to look at it, you know.

That's the wife of the dude who wants to kill Leon.

That's what she said.

That's why I couldn’t dream of settling down.

That's yucky.

That's, uh That's Leon Phelps.

The army, they called it Asia,

The bus is what we'll be taking.

The clothes really haven't given us anything.

The day arrived when the benevolent proprietor and Leon parted ways.

The Dow closing out today at minus 55,

The feeling of my back pressed up against the wall of the Laundromat.

The feeling of your skin pressed up against mine.

The job search starts tomorrow.

The king shared everything with him.

The ladies loved Leon Phelps.

The love line with all the right responses to your romantic queries.

The master of the house was a great man...

The one person you can trust is Leon Phelps.

The one that dumped you?

The one with the three inch penis?

The only way to deal with them is booze.

The point is,

The S&P is down four.

The tape is important. There's people looking.

The way you always used to describe me...

There goes Julie Simmons.

There is somebody that I helped.

There may be weird smells afterwards, but don't worry. just take a shower.

There were some things that Cyrus didn't have a taste for.

There you go, now. That's a nice one. That's a nice one.

There.

There's nothing really else to say about that. I think you all know that.

There's only one thing to do.

There's some racy stuff at the beginning, but you can speed through it.

There's something I want to say, all right?

These are new. The best!

They can call me all kinds of names,

They can make me get down on my knees and beg for my job,

They listen all the time. Probably listening now.

They look and feel plastic, but they smell real.

They talked and laughed on into the night.

They, too, have had their lives shattered...

This guys ruined my life!

This is a little something that I wrote.

This is a nice place. It looks like you've finally made the big time.

This is gonna be so good. I haven't had these since yesterday.

This is it!

This is my mirror.

This is nice.

This is not cool. This is unfair.

This is nothin'. lt's just one of those Biore patches, that's all.

This is the answer to all your unemployment problems?

This is the thing. They kept changing all those collect call phone numbers,

This is very good!

This is what I like to call the L.A. Forum,

This postmark is from Chicago.

This stinks.

This will be your area. [suggest that...

Thought he could take something from us, something we hold sacred.

Time has changed nothing.

Tiny little fine,

To finally realize what a wonderful person you're capable of being.

To hear what you got to say.

To the classiest, most sophisticated,

To the thrill of my performances...

Trained constantly.

Trying to get at.

Uh

Uh, I have a question. Could I

Uh, let's see. [Humming]

Uh, The Lord's Man Show.

Um So, I understand that you are a nun?

Um So, where will you be holding this

Um, “ homo un erectus. ”

Um, come by and pick me up tomorrow night. Okay?

Um, I have made love to many fine ladies,

Um, let me see. Have you ever had sex?

Um, same old, same old. Leon Phelps is a genius.

Um, why don't we just let bygones be bygones?

Unless, of course, you're not wearing any pants,

Unloads 10% of its gold holdings,

Until he squirms and squeals like a little piglet.

Until next time, this has been The Lad/es Man.

Vengeance is mine! Aa aah!

Very soon to assume a missionary position.

Victims of the smiling ass.

Wait a second. It says here we did it in a Laundromat.

Wake up!

WAMS has done quite well without the help of rejects...