That '70s Show (1998) - Season 3 Edit

Actually, uh, they already let him out. Gave him probation.

Alas, marijuana has ended my young, promising life.

All I ever thought about was school... studying, reading, homework.

All in favor?

All right, all right. You know what? Enough of your girly fantasy crap.

All right, Dad! I've got something to say!

All right, excuse me. But I think we've all lost sight of what's really important here.

All right. Well, don't mind me.

And as I care for him and buy him stuff, his love for me will grow.

And I felt her boob.

And I think that as a family, we should discuss rational solutions...

And I'm cracking down hard.

And I'm puttin'a stop to it before things get out of control.

And it could happen in your home, or yours, or yours!

And not making me go with him.

And now I have hippie stink on my couch.

And the peer pressure. Thank you, Mom.

And we know it wasn't easy for you...

And we love you.

And when I woke up, I was stuck to my bed.

And you wanted to kick him out.

And, you know, with the times... we're living in.

Are you on it right now?

Are you telling me that bag was yours?

As you all know, we had a little incident yesterday.

Because, I mean, he can't kick me out. Because, deep down, he loves me.

Believe you me, there is no third offense.

But it's true, man.

But you getting into trouble is not going to help me get out of trouble, okay?

Can I start?

Come. I'll show you.

Cool.

Crying and crying and crying.

Dad, I do it too.

Damn it.

Do you know that Red is kicking Hyde out?

Do you realize that you put your entire future at risk?

Don't tell me what to do, midget.

Donna, that could have meant anything.

Dr. And Mrs. Steven Hyde? All right, what's going on?

Dumb ass!

Eric, for the love of God, don't.

Eric!

Eric?

Especially with Jackie choking you the whole time.

Everything's back to normal, right?

First offense, five years in Siberia.

For God's sakes, Kitty.

Gee whillikers, Eric. Where have you been? You missed choir practice.

Get it? Develop?

God, this sucks! I can't believe Red's kicking you out.

Guess who?

Has been busted for possession.

Has Hyde ever pressured you to use this stuff?

Have you suddenly become the stupidest man ever?

He blew it. It's his fault.

He can rot in that jail, for all I care.

He has very pretty eyes.

Here's a new shipment, fresh from whatever the hell country I am from.

Here's your tea, Leo.

Hey there, curlicue, would you like to perform an unspeakable act on me...

Hey there, Red. Takin' out the trash, I see.

Hey, guys, do you think he's anyone's girlfriend yet?

Hey, guys, I had this dream that I was kissing my English teacher.

Hey, guys, I'm having the best time ever.

Hey, guys, look what I found in my sister Laurie's drawer.

Hey, guys, you know what? Yesterday, I was wrestling with Donna.

Hey, hey, don't go draggin' me into this.

Hey, I shot my toe with a B.B. Gun once.

Hey, I'm gonna let you in on a little secret.

Hey, isn't your English teacher a guy?

Hey, look at me. I'm the king of England!

Hey, man, don't thank me. Thank my mom.

Hey, man, I don't think you should kick Hyde out, because he's a good kid.

Hey, man, you missed your shift at the Fotohut.

Hey, when I grow up, I'm gonna be handsome.

Hey! Welcome back, man!

Hey. Steven brought that stuff into my house.

Honey, we already decided not to kick Hyde out.

Huh. Bet you didn't want me to see this, did ya?

Hyde, you were right. Marijuana's the bee's knees.

I am so baked.

I am... hopelessly addicted.

I asked you a question.

I can barely stand to look at you. Okay?

I don't love you. I don't like you.

I don't want it around you two. I just don't want it!

I got busted for possession.

I had to have tea with that greasy old hippie.

I just don't think that's gonna happen, Red.

I mean, I always thought it'd be, like, armed robbery or... pimping.

I mean, I'm sorry, where are you supposed to go?

I mean, is Kelso no longer the reigning king?

I mean, when I say, "For the love of God, don't."

I need that for the schoolchildren.

I think we should kick Hyde out.

I think.

I think. No, yeah, I am.

I think. No, yeah, I am.

I took him in. I gave him a shot.

I will kick your ass so hard your nose will bleed!

I... I think it's great that Steven has a boss who cares enough to...

I... I'm... You're very... I'm... I'm very mad at you!

I'll tell you one thing. I'm not bailing him out.

I'm cracking down.

I'm gonna go to the Fotohut. I'll sleep on the floor. They got a hose out back.

I'm just here to install this... smoke detector.

I'm just... I'm so very nervous.

I'm not gonna let you get kicked out for something we all do.

I'm sorry. Confessing to Red makes Eric the king.

I've been too lenient.

I've indulged once or twice myself.

If she hadn't have passed out, I couldn't have raided her stash.

If you say so, that's good enough for me.

If, uh, Red thinks that I'm not good enough to live in this house...

In fact... Yeah, I can honestly say I have never felt any pressure.

Is that supposed to mean something, Bob?

Isn't there anything else you would like to say to this brave and noble young man?

It was beautiful... and squishy.

It was, like, the most romantic thing ever.

It's called marijuana.

It's either Jackie or the cold, clammy hands of death.

It's Jackie!

It's mine.

Jackie and Steven Hyde.

Jackie, you have to tell the Formans what happened.

Just to see my best girl Donna, that's where.

Kelso, he's been in jail for three hours.

Kelso, man, that's not normal. You could die.

Kelso, you're the king.

Kick him out! Kick him out! Kick him out! Kick him out!

Kiss my brown ass.

Laurie, stop it. Red, what do you think?

Laurie, there is no way we're kicking Steven out.

Let me tell you something else. If you ever do anything like that again...

Long live the king.

Look, Forman. I appreciate what you're trying to do, you know?

Look, I don't want it in my house.

Man, this is so wrong!

Man, who'd have thought? Hyde getting busted for possession.

Man! What's in this stuff?

Maybe you will develop some character.

Mints. A whole month's worth.

Mrs. Forman made me a sandwich.

Mrs. Jackie Hyde.

My gosh! That stuff was right here in our own neighborhood?

No, Mrs. Forman. It's cool.

No!

No!

No!

No! I meant my Spanish teacher. She's a girl.

No! No, no, no. You cannot ruin this for me, moose!

No. Absolutely not.

No. I mean, join the club, man.

No. Just happened to notice that that low life Hyde you've been harboring...

None of this would have happened if it wasn't for you.

Not so fast, sister.

Now, please, get out of my house.

Of course he's someone's girlfriend.

Off with her head.

Oh, Donna, stop. My head is... Whoo!

Oh, fine. I guess I'm not funny.

Oh, God. No, no, Donna. That's perfect!

Oh, I'm the king.

Oh, man. Join the club.

Oh, my God. Fine. I'm telling them.

Oh, my God. You... tick.

Oh, out of control how?

Oh, really? Well, if he thinks I'm such a tick...

Oh, Steven, my hero.

Oh, Steven, you're such a bad liar!

Oh, that's great, man.

Oh, wow. Tea, man.

Oh! Don't try this blaming society crap with me.

Oh.

Okay, what are you writing?

Okay. Donna, Steven and I are in love!

Okay. Everybody just stop worrying, all right? I'll be fine.

Okay. I'm sorry. I made a terrible mistake.

Okay. Okay, now.

Or would you prefer that I perform one on you?

Probation? Well, isn't that just ducky?

Really? Did your Mommy tell you that?

Really? I'm shocked.

Red, putting him out on the street is not the solution.

Red...

Say, chum, where ya headed?

Second offense, 10 years.

Since when have you been using this?

Since when?

Since when?

Sit up straight, Leo.

Smoke detector? Does that detect any kind of smoke?

So get this through your little Easy Bake Oven head...

So where was I for fun time?

So, from now on, no more easygoin', devil may care, everybody's best friend dad.

So, uh, just so I'm clear...

So, um, I'm just gonna let you fellas get to know each other.

So, when do we meet your new fella?

So, you do it too, huh?

Soda pop, eh? I have something that's even keener than soda pop.

Sorry, dollface. But now, thanks to marijuana, I'm incurably insane.

Squishy.

Starting right now... fun time is over!

Steven, we're kicking you out.

Subject closed.

Thank you!

That's it?

That's right. So you can't kick Hyde out.

That's, like, exotic.

The problem is...

Then I guess I'm not.

Then, for the love of God, don't.

Then...

They're not mints. They're birth control pills, you headgear wearing moron.

They're not minty.

This can work. If I tell Red, then he's gonna be a hypocrite for kicking you out...

This is what's happening all over America.

This young man needs our guidance now more than ever.

To come over and talk to us on his behalf.

To make sure that this never happens again.

To think of all the times we had to drive across town...

Treat him better than your own son.

Uh, 'bout a week ago tomorrow.

Uh.

Um, I'm not comfortable living with a criminal.

Um, Steven, wait.

Um, what? Yeah! Coming, Mom!

Um, you do know that he once compared you to a tick, right?

Unless the criminal likes to make snow angels.

Wait, wait, wait. Wait.

We meet every Thursday.

We took him into our home. We treated him like our own son.

We were worried about... I'm sorry. I'm just... I'm so sorry.

We're gonna split a soda pop. It'll be keen.

We're in love.

We're tryin' to raise money for a field trip to Amsterdam.

Well, I have a pretty good idea.

Well, I'll tell you how.

Well, I'm not gonna let a swell kid like you ruin your life.

Well, if he was someone's girlfriend, I think it might look something like this.

Well, Mr.... Hippie.

Well, that's over. Thanks, Hyde.

Well, they both sound good. Dealer's choice.

Well, well. Turns out you were all wrong about Steven.

Well...

What kind of a moron would go and take the fall for some little...

When Hyde is on the streets, he'll have to turn to me.

When that cop found my bag, and you said it was yours, and they sent you to the big house...

Why'd he tell the cops the bag was his when it was actually mine?

Yea.

Yeah, Hyde in jail.

Yeah, I know. Upstanding businessman. Last guy you'd expect.

Yeah, maybe for you. I was deloused.

Yeah, thanks.

Yeah, the times are, like...

Yeah, uh...

Yeah, well, better late than never.

Yeah, yeah, everything's back...

Yeah! And he went to jail for it! Isn't that fabulous?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yep. All it takes is one puff to make you hopelessly addicted.

Yes, well... Thanks for telling us the truth, Donna.

Yes. It will be good for you in the Fotohut.

You better have a damn good excuse.

You can stay.

You have done a horrible thing with a children's toy.

You have the best mom ever.

You know how they treat their criminals in Russia?

You know what? I'm gonna tell Red that I do it too.

You know what? You're... You're bull...

You know whose fault this is? Do you? Do you?

You know, curlicue... is... can be... is a term of endearment.

You know, guys, I've been living my life all wrong.

You know, something cool.

You're both smart boys. What were you thinking?

You're right, Kelso. You're the king.

You're right, Kitty.

You're the reason this whole mess happened.

And, um... Peer pressure.

He's a doper. Well, you say that like it's a bad thing, man.

I got busted. Damn. That's a good excuse.

Oh. All right. Okay.

Okay? Okay.

Red, we really need to talk about... No. No. No!

So what'd they get you for? For loving me.

Steven! No! I don't want to talk about Steven!

Take it back! No, Kelso.

Tea. Well, um...

The problem was that we weren't thinking. We weren't thinking.

to get it! Ix nay, Midge!

Well, I... I'm not... Oh, oh, um...

What? Dad, that's not fair. Not fair?

When she's upset, I'm upset. And the next thing you know...

Yea, Daddy! Red!

Yeah. Yeah, and I found that today, the need to experiment...

'Cause she's, like, 14?

"Mari what a"?