The Young Ones - Season 1 Edit

A bit like an aeroplane.

A former pipe fitter welder from Harrogate!

A lot of my mates say to me, ''Baz, what's the point?''

A lot of people say young adults are violent, right?

A plan! Hey, now we're in the same supermarket.

A woman is only a woman, but a concordance is a meal

Aaaargh!

Aaargh!

Aaargh!

Aaargh! Urgh!

Aaargh! Who's been using my toothpaste?

Aargh! Aargh!

ABBA? Swedish?

About black and white people living in harmony together on pianos!

About the rent. Oh, I nearly forgot! Two men wanted to see you.

About the rent. Oh, I nearly forgot! Two men wanted to see you.

Actually, it's about �4.50 each.

After 20 years of the suckers, I ain't got much choice.

After all, it's our world, too, kids! Right!

Again!

All right, I won't stand on convention.

All right, Neil, shut up.

All right, so it was a bad joke. But then death isn't funny!

All right. Aaaaargh!

And considering I'm not feeling very well today actually,

And get me something for my hallucinations.

And go down to the cellar and dig up the oil.

And I was at Violet's funeral.

And laughter and young people?

And my name's Alexei Yuri Gagarin Siege of Stalingrad

And stand on tables waving bits of paper at each other.

And the howling wind.

And the howling wind.

And the police and the government, if they can!

And there's my duvet and passport collection.

And this is it, Nozin' Aroun', yeah!

And we expect no reward but a staircase over our heads.

And you can forget about the bread.

And you won't even pay for it

And you've broken my favourite plate!

Another half hour. Just a bit more time, OK?

Anybody?

Anyway, forget you ever heard the name.

Anyway, they're probably bills.

Are they the lemmings, or are you, Cliff?

Are you the lease owner of the premises?

Are you the Tsar? Yes, I am, actually.

Argh! A rat!

Arthur, Betty, Boris and Angela!

At least he's not doing the washing.

Atchoo!

Back to the acting!

Bad for society when the kids get into it!

Bad karma.

BANG! BANG! Tough luck, fascist!

Basically the problem is this.

Bastard!

Bastard!

Be fair. It's got a letterbox. That'll come in really useful.

Because although to you lot I seem to have as much importance as...

Because Colonel Vyvyan and I had a house meeting 15 minutes ago.

Because now is the time to finish painting my astrological chart.

Because the letter is signed T Smith, Miss, see? See?

Boring! Don't you has beens read the NME?

Brilliant!

Brilliant! I'll have to make my own bloody tea!

Brilliant! Revolution!

But for me, it's the sport that matters.

But I can't drink in pubs.

But I know that pianos aren't gonna solve nothing, know what I mean?

But I was gonna make it an entertainment complex. This room's a roller disco.

But I'm sure young Master Neil do treat us rough.

But I've written a poem which might help you.

But if you knock that wall down the house'll collapse.

But it could've been very bad!

But it's all right 'cause I've got the dirtiest bit

But it's safer than crossing the road.

But surely, your mates must realise there definitely IS a point!

But today you suddenly changed your routine. Why?

But when the council come tomorrow,

But you're standing in a huge mound of lentils...

By the way, it was a complete lie about the oil.

Bye, then.

Cable TV.

Called Coo, Coo, Daddy Longlegs. Wanna hear it?

Can you swim at all?

Check and see if that really was an hallucination outside.

Clause 83.

Come on, man. You'd be doing me a favour.

Come on, run into the Winter Palace... Winter Palace,

Comes a love like this

Completely fair, ask Mike. So shut up!

Concentrating on all the subjects that young adults are interested in.

Considering none of you helped me unpack or do anything,

Could you be quiet? I'm trying to watch my favourite programme.

Cutting bodies for my course.

Dad was a bit of a communist, know what I mean?

Darling, we're the Young Ones

Dear me, Mum. I know our job is to serve the young gentlemen.

Dear, oh, dear. You'd do anything to impress me.

Did a guy with a lisp phone?

Did he say anything about the bananas?

Did you see that?

Didn't, didn't, didn't, didn't!

Does this face empty knickers?

Doesn't anybody clean this oven except me?

Don't bother remembering it, 'cause I'll be dead soon anyway.

Don't make me paranoid, man!

Don't say that about the Arabs, you'll get us into trouble.

Don't worry, lads. These bastards won't get away with this.

Don't you think it's a nice house?

Drop in and see him for a chat at the Poly.

Either that or the whole town has flooded.

El Presidente!

Er...?

Er...I'm being hassled in the street by a chick!

Er...no.

Er...yeah.

Erm...

Erm... As a...?

Euripides is my dream poet.

Euripides trousers, you menda these trousers!

Even ones at the bottom of swamps, you wouldn't find one this dirty.

Everybody listen to me!

Excuse me!

Excuse me!

Excuse me.

Excuse me.

Fascist junta!

Fascist!

Feel my scalpel. Done it on a beanbag? I do it INSIDE 'em!

Fine, great, yeah!

Five, six, seven oclock, eight oclock rock...

For a house meeting.

For certain other criminal activity.

Funny comedians with the wigs and buckets of water.

Gentle, Slobber, I don't want the punters getting upset.

Gentlemen, house meeting in the hall, two seconds, be there!

Get a chance to put your ideas and opinions new concept, right?

Get...out!

Glad you all made it, 'cause if not, you wouldn't be here.

Glorious Five Year Plan Sputnik Tractor

God! You'd think ''Devil Woman'' had never been written!

Good 'un, Rol!

Goodness! Is that the time?

Great!

Great!

Great!

Great!

Guess it'll soon be over for you lentils.

Guys, I'm sorry the meal got a bit uncool, like, floorwise,

Guys, there's some dinner on the floor, if you want it.

Guys?

Ha ha ha!

Ha ha ha! Death!

Ha ha!

Ha! Missed both my legs!

Had me fooled. That's only part of the puzzle.

Has anyone ever been even slightly interested

Have you decided to apologise about Cliff Richard?

Have you had one, too?

He gets worse by the minute.

He knows about the Mersey sound!

He looks well on it, though, doesn't he?

He's bloomin' right, y'know.

He's right, they're gonna knock the house down tomorrow.

Heavy!

Hello, everybody!

Hello, King Faud, I've got a sample of oil for you...all over my shirt.

Hello, kitchen, hello!

Hello, my little Thunderbird puppet! Thunderbirds are go!

Help! We're sinking! We're sinking!

Here they are, El Presidente!

Here we go with Street Level.

Hey, hey! Yeah! Really great!

Hi, baby

Hi, guys.

Hi, I am Jerzei crazy, wacky landlord.

Hi, kid.

Hi, Mike... What are you doing here?

Hi, my name's Baz.

Hi, Neil.

Hi, Sputnik.

House! House! House!

How can they, the council, destroy the House of Mike?

How much does it cost, Neil?''

How we laughed!

How would you feel if you were old enough to have intercourse,

How'd you get here?

However, I, El Presidente...

Howzat?!

Human beings are the last consideration.

I am here.

I am liking your Harold Macmillan.

I bet if you looked in all the dirty ovens in the world,

I better get back to the lentil casserole before I get disorientated.

I better get it to the table quickly.

I better sell some tickets, hadn't I?

I can be a pig and do that for free!

I can't handle this.

I could murder a curry!

I could've made a fortune if I'd turned pro.

I didn't know that.

I didn't say anything about Cliff Richard. I wasn't...

I even believe it's perfumed.

I expect, like us, you're not into what your old man's into, right?

I got it together to soak the lentils last night.

I hate him! D'you think he really is British?

I hate rats, OK?

I hate that expression. It's so patronising

I haven't got six pairs of hands. I wish I had, but I haven't

I haven't had a holiday for over a year.

I hope you marry Scottish person like Lulu, yes?

I just stuff down a few pages of The Guardian before I rush out.

I knew them when they were a Lancashire clog dancing trio!

I know 4.50 is a lot of bread for a lentil casserole, but I did a lot.

I know how you feel. Saucers used to make me angry, too.

I like very much your punk rock stars.

I might be a bit stupid, like,

I might even get a personal message from Cliff!

I might even get put in prison and have water dripped on my head.

I never knew there was so much in it!

I nibbled a few lines of ''Hippolytus'' the other day at number 32.

I really screwed that up.

I see things much more clearly now

I should do, like, thirteen portions.

I should stress that you must have a degree

I suppose you hate gay people! Hippie!

I suppose you think it's pretty weird, don't you?

I suppose you think peace and freedom and equality are boring, too?

I think I should lay this one on you, man.

I think I'll play ''Murder in the Dark''.

I think Special Patrol Group is a stupid name for a hamster

I think we ought to get it together maybe to eat something, huh?

I think you are nice, democratic boy, yes?

I thought this was my bedroom.

I thought we were lying on a raft just now.

I tossed a coin for the bed, and you lost!

I was getting bored, so I thought, I'll crack the floor with my head.

I was here first!

I will not be associated with saucers.

I will see him now.

I wish, just once, just once, this wouldn't happen to me.

I wondered if you'd swim to the chemists

I wouldn't discuss the colour of orange juice with you, Neil!

I'd like your duckdown stuck to the soap.

I'd look pretty stupid if anyone was watching.

I'd look pretty stupid if anyone was watching.

I'd overlook this, but unfortunately you are responsible

I'll be looking at what it's like to be a young unemployed adult!

I'll get a few quid on the guitar.

I'll get some fresh air in here.

I'll handle this!

I'll never get it back to the cooker in time.

I'll probably come back as a lentil.

I'll see you on the other side, OK? This is it, I'm going, OK?

I'll teach you to try and assassinate the President.

I'm 16, old enough to get married, but I can't drink in pubs.

I'm 16, right? I can join the Army, the Air Force and the Navy.

I'm afraid, under the new regulations,

I'm depressed. It's nine below zero.

I'm feeling really, whoa! OK, yeah. You feeling OK, right!

I'm going to call the pigs, actually. See what they'll say.

I'm going upstairs now to finish my astrological star chart.

I'm gonna kill myself now.

I'm just gonna have to... Ow!

I'm not a fridge, you know!

I'm not going to the launderette, I'm going to the cellar...with a stiff.

I'm not paying you to eat black men!

I'm not really foreign, y'know.

I'm prepared to offer a free amnesty, if you behave

I'm protesting.

I'm sorry. If I was to make an exception, who'd respect me then?

I'm standing up here 'cause that's what this programme's about: shock!

I'm supposed to write an essay on it, but...

I'm surprised anyone except me knows this place even exists.

I've finished my gallows. It's far out, you should see it.

I've got myself a walking, talking, living, walking, living doll...

I've got six pairs of hands! I'm Krishna!

I've got six pairs of hands! Look, it's amazing!

I've only got 50p.

I've tried hundreds of times. You can't hammer in the last nail!

If only we were deaf.

If the world's an egg, I'm the lion stamped on it.

If we don't smash the house up, the council will demolish it tomorrow.

If you are, I think it's in pretty poor taste!

If you don't, that's cool, 'cause I only spent all day cooking it.

If you haven't got a job, you're out of work, which means only one thing:

If you're on the dole, go and see Rol!

In anything you ever say or do, Neil?

In ten minutes, there'll be a rock 'n' roll benefit in our room.

Is good house, is clean house. Michael Caine and Twiggy, yes?

Is Neil gonna make the supper or not?

Is this some sort of sick joke? Why isn't supper ready?

It better be good, this Norman Tebbitt.

It just so happens I've been writing a song up here, concerning my diet,

It lights joss sticks and plays Rock Around The Clock. Amazing!

It may seem heavy handed for �1.50, but I expect to get my loans back.

It means something really heavy.

It means there's no more telly.

It struck me that, considering what I'm gonna do tonight,

It was bound to happen sooner or later.

It was...sort of crunchy.

It'll take ten weeks to starve another one

It's a little white dot.

It's a programme for young adults made by young adults,

It's amazing what you can come up with with just flour and water.

It's important, right? It's now and I want to watch!

It's never gonna blow up.

It's not quite finished yet, actually...

It's not really the same thing at all, is it?

It's orange, Rick, and I don't want to depress you,

It's pretty different really, isn't it?

It's the other side of town.

It's the sort of vegetablist comment you'd expect from a dictator.

It's time to go to bed.

It's very simple. I was playing Murder in the Dark in the cellar.

It's what he would have wanted.

Jeremy, actually!

Jeremy, if you're worried about the rent, I've got it sussed.

Just a little piece of information.

Just because you do a little bit of housework!

Just don't bring me down again.

Just give me the key.

Just look at all this mess.

Just one other thing. What are you talking about?

Just what I need, far out!

Know what I mean?

Late! We're only on time because you kept me awake all night ringing bells.

Let them try and ignore that, right?

Let's talk about death. Don't consider my feelings, will you?

Lets shake some action here on 2

Like seaside postcard from Leicester?

Like unemployment...Maggie!

Listen, do you know the difference between you and some Number Twos?

Listen, I've stewed up some lentils and seaweed as a...

Listen, Jerzei...

Listen, man, sleep gives you cancer. Everyone knows that.

Listen...we got a letter from the council.

Look, do you mind all just going, please?

Look, I don't want to discuss it, OK?

Look, it's a sign, that little white dot.

Look, man. Either strut your stuff or bog off!

Look.

Look...that's a saucer.

Lucky they told me my room was on fire. I might've gone to sleep and burned to death.

Lucky you!

Made by amateurs and of interest to only two people!

Maybe it'd be cool if I just died, right?

Maybe just once I'd like to keep the lentils off the floor.

Maybe we should get a cat and give it to the cat, 'cause none of you...

Me and my mates thought that TV just wasn't NOW, right?

Me, too.

Mike, you bastard!

Mikey, look, I have some Coca Cola, we have party, yes?

More young adults are unemployed 'cause they can't find work.

Moscow Dynamo Back Four Balowski.

Most days you come through the door.

Move away, I want to get in my room.

Mr Balowski said the last lot only moved out yesterday.

Mr Balowski! We have residents' rights!

Must be a really old telly.

My grandfather made that guitar out of matches on his deathbed.

My mind's beginning to play tricks with me.

My name's Neil.

N O Z, Z for Zap!

Neil, I'll give you three seconds to make supper, starting now!

Neil, where's that emergency tin of spaghetti hoops we brought?

Neil, your bedroom's on fire!

Neil!

Neil! Neil! Let's not beat about the bush...

Neil! Why don't you listen to me, Neil?

Neil?

Neil? I want that �1.50 by Wednesday or another moose dies.

Neil...did you actually pay to get in?

Neil...what are you doing, Neil?

Never mind me, who are they?

Nice angle on the wall, I like your style.

No one phoned you, Mike. Well..

No room at all, eh?

No, I'm the oppressed workers, remember?

No, it's because we only moved in here yesterday!

No, it's not ready.

No, look.

No, no. Killing myself. This is my Last Supper, right?

No, oh, no... You got any new material?

No, they were with the Moscow Dynamos ice hockey squad.

No, they're not, Vyvyan.

No!

No. A letter.

No. I'm gonna watch the dot for a bit longer.

No. We got a letter from the council. And nobody's fed my hamster!

No...

Nobody'd buy Evian water if it was called Blackburn water, eh?

Nobody'd wear Kicker boots if they were made in Scunthorpe.

Nobody's fed Special Patrol Group, have they?

Non attendance is punishable by death.

None of the guys, no matter what,

None of you ever listens to a word I say!

Not a peep out of you, or you'll have me to answer to!

Not even if they've been eaten by wild dogs...

Not that I sleep much anyway, 'cause I spend my time in the kitchen.

Not the street, just us! We're a health hazard.

Nothing, nothing.

Nothing!

Nothing.

Now it's the part of the programme where you, yeah, you the viewers,

Now we can go to the rent tribunal. You pay less for an outside lavvy.

Now, everyone, the masters are coming to beat us.

Now, watch this very closely.

Of our alleged cruelty.

Oh, blimey!

Oh, dear, yes, Lucy. We love it

Oh, far out!

Oh, God! No sugar!

Oh, I need you, you need me

Oh, my darling, can't you see

Oh, no!

Oh, no!

Oh, oh, yeahI Oh, yeahI

Oh, right on!

Oh, right on! Right on!

Oh, that's better.

Oh, very clever!

Oh, well. Nightie night!

Oh, wow, I have!

Oh, wow, man, that's really heavy, man.

Oh, wow!

Oh, wow!

Oh, wow. A wet bum.

Oh, yeah. Thanks, Mike. Bye.

Oh, you are made of stone, But you're not a lone...ly house.

Oh... Are you going to bed, Vyvyan?

Oh...this is so dirty, man!

Oh...yeah...

OK, guys, don't do anything unusual.

OK, hold back, no previous. The scotch egg's another story.

OK, I see, is good joke? Is earthy English humour, yes?

OK, I'll change it, then. Hello, Cliff Richard!

OK, lads, erm...

OK, let's dance! Let's do the fog!

OK, Neil?

OK, Rick.

OK, thanks, Maggie.

OK, that's good.

On the night we heard the shot.

Once in every lifetime

One thing unites us, that we all have in common,

One!

Ooh, look at that?

Or ARE you, Cliff?''

Or can I call you Comrade?

Or have we just forgotten?

Our world, too!

Overseas sales.

PHWRRRT!

Plus 60% McCartney, 40% me.

Pretty angry stuff, right?

Probably stuck in a queue or something!

Really great. Woodstock!

Really? Well, I don't believe you.

Records and tapes.

Relax. We're not sinking. We're not sinking.

Remember when this very room was filled with light

Revolution, blood runs, flags wave.

Rick, come and look at this! You're gonna freak!

Rick, Rick! You're gonna freak, man!

Rick, what are you doing with my crucifix?

Right at the climax, the oppressed working classes of this house,

Right, it's time for a natter with our very special guest,

Right, laundry...

Right! This is it!

Right...

Roland Percival, who's Careers Officer at East London Poly

Said I'd never heard of you.

Search me. Perhaps they're friends who've just popped in to...

See you later, Ford Anglia!

Sh! Sh! Sssssh!

Shame about Cliff Richard.

Should get a lower wattage bulb.

Shut up!

Shut up! I'm stirring my coffee!

Small, tough and the chips are always stacked against you.

So he should, Lucy, for we love it.

So maybe sometime you pay me rent,

So we just thought we'd have a programme for us.

So what are you worried about?

So what do I say to the Saudis?

So, a real message of hope and good cheer from Roland, an ace guy!

So?

Solzhenitsyn? Solzhenitsyn?

Some of these bricks explode! That's good, innit?

Sometimes you even open it!

Sorry about that, it always happens.

Sorry to be a party pooper, but I want get undressed.

Sorry, guv'nor. Apples and pears, tit for tat!

Spill the beans, Vyv.

Step back, recoil. I want to study the angles. I'm not talking fishing!

Stop making him paranoid, you slag!

Stop the insurgence!

Strange that Mike wants a meeting in here. I've never been here before.

Strolls across the floor. Hi, Neil, he says, warming up.

Stuff the revolution, where's my 200 quid?

Suppose we'll have to cook our own supper.

Sure the letter wasn't a packing case or a tea chest?

Surreal!

Take any street, an English street, filled with life, hope and poetry...

Thank you.

Thank you. I need your rent book.

Thanks a lot, Maggie, worth listening to.

Thanks a lot, Vyvyan!

Thanks to him, I never have it!

Thanks, Mr Balowski, for the oldest, dirtiest teapot in the world!

That doesn't mean I want you to seduce my parrot!

That was brilliant!

That was really pretty bad, Rick.

That, I don't know.

That'll do, Slobber. That'll do.

That'll have to do.

That'll teach you to stop skiving on the cleaning!

That's a really negative way to kill yourself.

That's all very well, but, after years of stagnation,

That's because this is where we keep the cleaning stuff.

That's boring.

That's incredible! You're as like as two peas.

That's my clause!

That's no reason to hassle me on the toilet!

That's OK, Neil.

That's right, Neil, yes! Lounge around, have a good time!

That's very Zen.

That's what happens to people who aren't working class.

That's what I'm saying. Is it? Where's Mike and Vyvyan?

That's you, mainly,

The band, Radical Posture.

The British Foreign Secretary has arrived,

The complete negation of our personality,

The council are gonna knock the house down.

The council are gonna knock us down.

The council have okayed it, babes, OK?

The mind numbing servility and the 18 hour day,

The only thing left is the teapot, and that's filthy

The personal abuse is our lot, and the further back you go, the better.

The tickets are �200 each.

The voice of youth! They're still wearing flared trousers!

The woods and the darkness...

The Young Ones

Then we go milk bar for soda pop?

Then why isn't Cliff Richard boring, clever trousers? Tell me that!

Then, this huge spurt of oil came out.

There you are, Vyvyan.

There you go. That's the problem.

There's a song to be sung

There's gotta be 25 million in this.

There's lots of heads buried in the garden 'cause of saucers!

There's no difference, y'know? Ow, ow!

There's no difference. You think there is, but there isn't!

There's no need to worry. I've a plan with which to thwart them!

There's no point hanging around.

They are F A B, that's English for stupid. Fantastic!

They began the night Uncle Volga died.

They seem to reach back forever.

They seem to reach back forever.

They'll find the house already demolished from within.

They're gonna demolish the house tomorrow.

Thirteen?! What are you doing, starting a football team?

This benefit is for you. In aid of you. To help you.

This could be very big. Family size.

This is a student residence. A seat of learning.

This is funky, like one big empty room here, yeah!

This is it! I've waited two hours.

This is it. I'm going. This is the final moment, OK? Right.

This is really amazingly hot!

This is revolting!

This isn't the house to be demolished!

This little Herbert has been bothering the gentlemen and ladies,

This must be my bedroom all my clothes are here.

This should raise a dry smile...

This, a holiday?

Those clever trousers in the army.

Three seconds?

Throw down your tools and throw up a barricade!

Tickets!

To live, love

To make a meal, Neil?

To offer his apology for recent press criticism

Try a bit of poetry, hippies!

Tsk!

TV has woken up to the need for locally based minority programmes,

Two men? Morecambe and Vise?

Two weeks in a cellar under a lightbulb?!

Two!

Typical!

Uncanny!

Unemployment!

Urgh! Why are your sheets all sticky?

Very funny! It's clever to laugh when three million people are on the dole?

Very long...

Videos.

Viva El Presidente!

Vyv was typing and used it as Tippex.

Vyvyan, I don't wanna get specific,

Vyvyan, this isn't our house!

Vyvyan, you might've washed your hands!

Vyvyan!

Vyvyan?

Was the food richer then?

Watch it! Watch it!

Watch out, Norman Tebbitt! Come on!

We burn Mike's room, anyway. And then, hey, presto! Revolution!

We should take all our washing when we go to the launderette.

We're gonna be rich. House meeting, tomorrow, 9 o'clock, broom cupboard.

We're gonna do a number recently in the charts about racial harmony.

Weird, eh?

Well, erm...

Well, old man?

Well, that's fair enough, then.

Well, that's put the rent up by a third!

Well, this is it. The rock 'n' roll benefit for the oppressed workers...

Well...you'd be right.

What about Cliff Richard?

What about him?

What about the People's Charter we drew up?

What about this?

What are you two doing? You should be digging for oil.

What do you do of an evening if you're young and can't go to pubs?

What happened to the revolution?

What I think is if the kids are united, we'll never be divided!

What is it, that one thing?

What is that little white dot?

What that lad needs is a good, hard... (DING DING)

What would you say to them?

What, have you turned it into a roller disco?

What, hippie?

What?

What?

What? A little bit? All right...

What? What did you just say?

What?!

What?! I'm not sharing a room with that rubber johnny!

What's the matter?

When fascists keep trying to push you over it.

When I eat a meal worth 4.50, I'm not paying for it, got me?

When the trapdoor opens and I die,

When they come, I'll hide in the wall and pretend to be thermal insulation.

When they get back, tell them I'm incredibly sorry, right?

When they knock the wall down... Boom Shankar!

When will the government realise that young adults are responsible people?

When will the government realise we have a valid contribution to society?

Where's my biro?

Where's Vyvyan?

Which bit of him would you like to see first?

Which is why I go over people's heads.

While we starve to death! Beatnik!

Whilst they were shaking their booties, know what I mean?

Who are you? I wanna watch ''Postman Pat''.

Who's been sticking chewing gum on the floor?

Who's Bill?

Whoa! All right, yeah!

Whoa! All right! OK!

Whoa! OK, yeah. Great to be here at this benefit!

Whoa! Yeah!

Why did you throw the toilet out of the window?

Why don't you become a policeman? Become a pig?

Why don't you just go and live in Iran? Or Russia?

Why don't you listen to ME?

Why don't you sit in the supper, man?

Why smash saucers? Your prints on 'em?

Will rise up and seize control of the state.

Will the snows never cease?

Will the snows never cease?

Will you make supper, or shall I kick your teeth in?

Wise up, he'd chop my hands off!

Wise up, Rick, this world is like a burnt steak.

Wish we had a video, then I could watch it in the morning.

With a new programme for young adults: NozinAround.

Wonderful.

Wonderful.

Woods...and the darkness.

Would you mind looking after my buddy?

Wow, I really hope we don't have a crash.

Wow, look at all these letters!

Wow, this is the end, man.

Yeah

Yeah, got you back! All right!

Yeah, he's my uncle, actually.

Yeah, I've got a Swiss bank account with 2,000 cats in it! Come on!

Yeah, of course. Yeah!

Yeah, OK, OK, like house meeting, OK?

Yeah, right. Thanks a lot there, Rol.

Yeah. I've arranged for you to share Neil's bedroom.

Yeah. Right. OK.

Yeah...

Yeah...glue!

Yes, but this is a benefit gig.

Yes, but why can't you dig as well?

Yes, so we'll pay the rent another time, cool?

Yes, that's absolutely ice box!

Yes, yes, Neil. Listen, I've got everything ready.

Yes, yes, yes! So you keep saying, but they'll never do it.

Yes.

Yes...yeah!

Yet you could not drink in pubs, huh?

You agree the council must be thwarted, right?

You all right, Vyvyan?

You bastard! You complete and utter bastard!

You better ask him that! I'm a bit more interested in my bottom!

You better not, 'cause me, Mike and Vyvyan are pretty sick of you.

You did it on purpose 'cause you know I've a runny bottom.

You do want to be incredibly rich, don't you?

You find me boring or something? Look...

You haven't even made the tea, Neil!

You in trouble, Vyv? Eh?

You know I'm a vegetarian!

You know the French for ''duvet''? I'm talking 100% cotton.

You know the plan? At the peak of the gig...

You know, I just love your English beetles.

You must be working too hard.

You realise all this loafing around has cost us one day of being rich.

You really are a cliff.

You see? I used to be a cat burglar.

You should feed that hamster more often.

You should take it easy.

You the final sausage in the fridge? Someone after you with the clingfilm?

You think I'm an aeroplane, don't you? I'm not!

You trying to be funny?

You what?

You wouldn't have a tin of Swarfega about the palace, your mightiness?

You'd have to ask my parents, they wouldn't tell me.

You're always so pleased with yourself! So bloody clever!

You're right, we've been working too hard.

You're supposed to knock.

You're the spitting image of our landlord, Jerzei.

Your Lulu, your Dave Clark Five!

Your magnificence.

4.50?!

6.15, enter Mike the cool person for his dinner.

200? That's nearly a term's grant.

..we haven't got a telephone. Yeah, I know.

..we haven't got a telephone. Yeah, I know.

A hippie! A hippie.

Bloody hot, isn't it? It is.

But did a guy with a lisp phone? No, he didn't.

But I live in the launderette! Yeah, it's OK, because...

But look, it's half empty. It was just lying there, Rick!

But we have to do that, too. Best not to think about it.

Bye, Rick. Yes, goodbye.

Could I have a word with you? No.

Didn't! Did!

Do me a favour! What?

Dust the duvet, I'll handle this. I'll handle this!