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Jon Benjamin Has a Van - Season 1 Jon Benjamin Has a Van is a hilarious television show that premiered in 2011. The show

Jon Benjamin Has a Van - Season 1

Jon Benjamin Has a Van is a hilarious television show that premiered in 2011. The show features the talented voice actor Jon Benjamin, known for his work on popular animated shows like Archer and Bob's Burgers. With its unique blend of mockumentary-style storytelling and offbeat humor, Jon Benjamin Has a Van quickly became a fan favorite.

The show follows Jon Benjamin as he embarks on outrageous and absurd adventures in his trusty van, aptly named "Vanjamin." Each episode is a wild ride, with Jon getting himself into all sorts of bizarre situations and interacting with eccentric characters along the way.

The cast of Jon Benjamin Has a Van includes a variety of talented actors, comedians, and guest stars who bring the show to life. Aside from the titular Jon Benjamin, the main cast also features Nathan Fielder, who later gained fame with his own hit show Nathan for You. Other regular cast members include Gabourey Sidibe, Leo Allen, and Henry Zebrowski, who all contribute to the show's humor and wit.

One of the standout aspects of Jon Benjamin Has a Van is its clever writing and sharp comedic timing. The show's humor often walks the line between witty wordplay and absurdist surrealism, resulting in laugh-out-loud moments that catch viewers off guard. Jon Benjamin's deadpan delivery adds an extra layer of comedy to the already hilarious situations he finds himself in.

The first season of Jon Benjamin Has a Van is filled with memorable and outrageous episodes. In "Little Little Italy," Jon explores New York City's smallest and most mysterious neighborhood, showing off his knack for investigative journalism. In "Breakdown Van," Jon transforms his van into a hospital and becomes a fake doctor, hilariously diagnosing the passersby with outrageous ailments.

"Star Door" is another remarkable episode that takes Jon Benjamin to Hollywood, where he tries to prove that he deserves his own star on the Walk of Fame. This episode showcases the show's clever satirical style, poking fun at the absurdities of the entertainment industry.

Jon Benjamin Has a Van is not only known for its comedic brilliance but also for its fantastic soundtrack. The show features an eclectic mix of music that perfectly complements the absurdity on screen. From catchy theme songs to whimsical tunes that play during Jon's adventures, the music enhances the overall experience of watching the show.

If you're a fan of Jon Benjamin's distinct voice and offbeat sense of humor, you won't want to miss out on Jon Benjamin Has a Van. You can easily find and download these sounds online to enjoy the show's hilarious antics and memorable moments.

So, buckle up and get ready for a hilarious and surreal journey with Jon Benjamin Has a Van. Whether you're a fan of mockumentary-style comedy or simply enjoy something out of the ordinary, this show is sure to leave you in stitches. Don't miss out on the hilarious adventures of Jon Benjamin and his trusty van; start watching Jon Benjamin Has a Van today!

A chiste
A chiste
A little late.
A little late.
A real thing.
A real thing.
A van Shaped star door.
A van Shaped star door.
Aah!
Aah!
Aah!
Aah!
Aah!
Aah!
Aah!
Aah!
Aah!
Aah!
Aah! The gun's hot!
Aah! The gun's hot!
Aah... aah.
Aah... aah.
About 20 minutes to think about it.
About 20 minutes to think about it.
About my drug business!
About my drug business!
About the world's most photographed baby
About the world's most photographed baby
About where most of this is coming from
About where most of this is coming from
Absolutely
Absolutely
After countless surgeries even the best doctors
After countless surgeries even the best doctors
After falling into the feeder of a grain thresher,
After falling into the feeder of a grain thresher,
Ah!
Ah!
Ah! Get down!
Ah! Get down!
Ah.
Ah.
All day long.
All day long.
All i can say is, god made man
All i can say is, god made man
All i could tell you is when god made man
All i could tell you is when god made man
All of you.
All of you.
All right, i want everyone to gear up,
All right, i want everyone to gear up,
All right, well, listen, this is how this works.
All right, well, listen, this is how this works.
All right. Yeah, well, hold on a second.
All right. Yeah, well, hold on a second.
All this and more
All this and more
All this and more on tonight's
All this and more on tonight's
All this and more on tonight's jon benjamin has a van.
All this and more on tonight's jon benjamin has a van.
All this and more on tonight's jon benjamin has a van.
All this and more on tonight's jon benjamin has a van.
All:
All:
Allora, is that so?
Allora, is that so?
And according to the record,
And according to the record,
And also, you're invited to our celebration,
And also, you're invited to our celebration,
And another installment of "ocd after dark. "
And another installment of "ocd after dark. "
And around the back and sides too.
And around the back and sides too.
And eat all our goldfish.
And eat all our goldfish.
And eyes.
And eyes.
And he sat there the entire time.
And he sat there the entire time.
And hear his incredible story.
And hear his incredible story.
And i can show it to you. It's right there.
And i can show it to you. It's right there.
And i hope you'll soon join us
And i hope you'll soon join us
And i love it,
And i love it,
And i was, like, um...
And i was, like, um...
And i would start screaming from being so scared.
And i would start screaming from being so scared.
And i'll deal with you later.
And i'll deal with you later.
And if we need it back,
And if we need it back,
And it's changed my life.
And it's changed my life.
And it's really the strangest feeling,
And it's really the strangest feeling,
And it's sooner than you think.
And it's sooner than you think.
And jargon loprax over here should have known better
And jargon loprax over here should have known better
And just thinking about going to war,
And just thinking about going to war,
And moving on to the next platform,
And moving on to the next platform,
And my first child was killed by los zetas.
And my first child was killed by los zetas.
And my job
And my job
And on tonight's exclusive interview,
And on tonight's exclusive interview,
And see the truth.
And see the truth.
And smoke yourself to death.
And smoke yourself to death.
And that's all you need to understand.
And that's all you need to understand.
And that's what sets us apart.
And that's what sets us apart.
And the main cause of this,
And the main cause of this,
And the writing on it tells us your van may be the key.
And the writing on it tells us your van may be the key.
And then i immediately passed out.
And then i immediately passed out.
And then i'll take you out to dinner
And then i'll take you out to dinner
And then it starts to get ugly.
And then it starts to get ugly.
And then they take room from us.
And then they take room from us.
And this was by far the worst thing i'd ever seen.
And this was by far the worst thing i'd ever seen.
And this was my response.
And this was my response.
And those who do it are disgusting pigs,
And those who do it are disgusting pigs,
And walked the whole way down the sidewalk.
And walked the whole way down the sidewalk.
And we already got it.
And we already got it.
And we shoot here, and then you're on the show
And we shoot here, and then you're on the show
And we talk to the youngest person
And we talk to the youngest person
And wealthy real estate developers.
And wealthy real estate developers.
And when the opportunity arose
And when the opportunity arose
And who knows how long before they take that from us too?
And who knows how long before they take that from us too?
And you can't tell me what to do.
And you can't tell me what to do.
And you give it to frank to smooth things over.
And you give it to frank to smooth things over.
And you got burned. See that camera?
And you got burned. See that camera?
And you slept with her.
And you slept with her.
And your lame party and your cupcakes.
And your lame party and your cupcakes.
And, uh, i want to thank you for this interview.
And, uh, i want to thank you for this interview.
And, um, he said something about iced tea,
And, um, he said something about iced tea,
Andiamo
Andiamo
Are avowedly christian,
Are avowedly christian,
Are biological offspring!
Are biological offspring!
Are incorrect? Is that possible?
Are incorrect? Is that possible?
Are you going to see him?
Are you going to see him?
Are you leaving?
Are you leaving?
Are you still smoking?
Are you still smoking?
Arf arf arf arf arf arf.
Arf arf arf arf arf arf.
As for our human visitor,
As for our human visitor,
As long as catalina says it's okay
As long as catalina says it's okay
As you can see from the imprint,
As you can see from the imprint,
As you're doing it.
As you're doing it.
Aside from immigrants, is litter.
Aside from immigrants, is litter.
At a high rate of speed,
At a high rate of speed,
At first little, little italy and little italy
At first little, little italy and little italy
At first, i denied these allegations,
At first, i denied these allegations,
At the actual border itself.
At the actual border itself.
At the celebration.
At the celebration.
At the top of her lungs.
At the top of her lungs.
At this time to the official reentry point.
At this time to the official reentry point.
Aw, it's not that secret.
Aw, it's not that secret.
Be careful with that, jon. That's some strong stuff.
Be careful with that, jon. That's some strong stuff.
Beautiful.
Beautiful.
Because it's a little bit better.
Because it's a little bit better.
Because there's never a moment
Because there's never a moment
Because this drunkard...
Because this drunkard...
Because two other people were there
Because two other people were there
Because we're about positive energy
Because we're about positive energy
Been supportive of your condition?
Been supportive of your condition?
Before frank leaves, okay?
Before frank leaves, okay?
Before i was deployed to afghanistan.
Before i was deployed to afghanistan.
Before you go to the bathroom.
Before you go to the bathroom.
Biological offspring bring unhappiness to us all!
Biological offspring bring unhappiness to us all!
Border!
Border!
Both: Yeah.
Both: Yeah.
Both: "to eat the world's due...
Both: "to eat the world's due...
Brigitte? Jon?
Brigitte? Jon?
Bring him. Now.
Bring him. Now.
Bring me a box of pizzelle.
Bring me a box of pizzelle.
Bross was basically flayed alive.
Bross was basically flayed alive.
Buddy, you're still gettin' burned.
Buddy, you're still gettin' burned.
But for us in mezea ministries,
But for us in mezea ministries,
But i can tell you this.
But i can tell you this.
But i have not forgotten the lives i've left behind.
But i have not forgotten the lives i've left behind.
But i never even knew there was a little, little italy.
But i never even knew there was a little, little italy.
But i'm asking you only one more time.
But i'm asking you only one more time.
But it was good that we made love.
But it was good that we made love.
But juan benjamin is in the casa.
But juan benjamin is in the casa.
But just as little italy is being squeezed
But just as little italy is being squeezed
But most people are unaware of an even more secret location
But most people are unaware of an even more secret location
But now, you know, you've done so much in a year.
But now, you know, you've done so much in a year.
But now...
But now...
But one former government official
But one former government official
But roy allston of roy allston's hair supply
But roy allston of roy allston's hair supply
But thank you for
But thank you for
But thank you very much. No, it was my pleasure.
But thank you very much. No, it was my pleasure.
But the most penetrating evidence is the shroud.
But the most penetrating evidence is the shroud.
But then we received this incriminating footage.
But then we received this incriminating footage.
But we believe that he smoked a pipe.
But we believe that he smoked a pipe.
But we could use your language skills
But we could use your language skills
But we mustn't let ourselves be led through life by them.
But we mustn't let ourselves be led through life by them.
But what other secrets does it hold?
But what other secrets does it hold?
But within christianity, there are many different sects,
But within christianity, there are many different sects,
But, uh, mr. Lockley passed away recently
But, uh, mr. Lockley passed away recently
By a solar flare!
By a solar flare!
By his military service.
By his military service.
By nebraskan reporter, greg devlin.
By nebraskan reporter, greg devlin.
By outside forces,
By outside forces,
By suddenly crossing one eye so that bross' face
By suddenly crossing one eye so that bross' face
By the grave and thee. "
By the grave and thee. "
By the news media,
By the news media,
Bye, gabriella.
Bye, gabriella.
Came into little italy like it came to regular italy,
Came into little italy like it came to regular italy,
Can be at each meal.
Can be at each meal.
Can't believe this.
Can't believe this.
Careened into jargon loprax's transport,
Careened into jargon loprax's transport,
Casablanca
Casablanca
Celebrities wanted in immediately.
Celebrities wanted in immediately.
Chief magistrate, we should be thanking my client.
Chief magistrate, we should be thanking my client.
Chris, marie,
Chris, marie,
Colonel?
Colonel?
Combined with the fact that there was an even more
Combined with the fact that there was an even more
Come!
Come!
Come.
Come.
Conspiracy theorists have long claimed
Conspiracy theorists have long claimed
Currently on death row.
Currently on death row.
Cut him loose and give him a gun.
Cut him loose and give him a gun.
Dave, tell 'em.
Dave, tell 'em.
Dave!
Dave!
Despite the fact that we've been saturated
Despite the fact that we've been saturated
Did i, nathan?
Did i, nathan?
Did jesus smoke a pipe?
Did jesus smoke a pipe?
Dirty, disgusting,
Dirty, disgusting,
Do not get in that
Do not get in that
Do the joke.
Do the joke.
Do you feel remorse for what you did?
Do you feel remorse for what you did?
Do you have a second to discuss gay marriage?
Do you have a second to discuss gay marriage?
Do you have a second?
Do you have a second?
Do you know it? Si, si.
Do you know it? Si, si.
Do you like wine?
Do you like wine?
Do you love him?
Do you love him?
Doctor, tell us right now.
Doctor, tell us right now.
Don't be a stranger, jon.
Don't be a stranger, jon.
Due to complications.
Due to complications.
Each with their own distinct and unique set
Each with their own distinct and unique set
Either don't have or choose not to acknowledge,
Either don't have or choose not to acknowledge,
Every ounce of strength in my body
Every ounce of strength in my body
Every second.
Every second.
Excuse me, sir, would you like to play cash stall?
Excuse me, sir, would you like to play cash stall?
Excuse me.
Excuse me.
Excuse me. You got burned.
Excuse me. You got burned.
Fat! Irresponsible! Lazy!
Fat! Irresponsible! Lazy!
Fine, yeah, i'll do it, um...
Fine, yeah, i'll do it, um...
Follow Up.
Follow Up.
For a period of six months.
For a period of six months.
For centuries, bald men have been using wigs
For centuries, bald men have been using wigs
For doing the joke a year ago,
For doing the joke a year ago,
For me to actually own a pipe that jesus himself smoked from,
For me to actually own a pipe that jesus himself smoked from,
For my story about you.
For my story about you.
For this world ends for everyone!
For this world ends for everyone!
Frank palantino and his gang,
Frank palantino and his gang,
Frank palantino has some trouble
Frank palantino has some trouble
Frank palantino told me
Frank palantino told me
Free to go.
Free to go.
Freedom man, huh?
Freedom man, huh?
From basic training?
From basic training?
From his interview that day.
From his interview that day.
From importing tiny prostitutes from italy.
From importing tiny prostitutes from italy.
From our consumer advocate ed sheath.
From our consumer advocate ed sheath.
From our consumer advocate edward sheath.
From our consumer advocate edward sheath.
From our intrepid undercover reporter.
From our intrepid undercover reporter.
From the corner with your helmet on.
From the corner with your helmet on.
From the pictures from that
From the pictures from that
From your incredible story.
From your incredible story.
Get in the van.
Get in the van.
Get it?
Get it?
Get the end of the world right every time.
Get the end of the world right every time.
Get the out of here with this.
Get the out of here with this.
Get those bags out of your eyes, okay?
Get those bags out of your eyes, okay?
Good luck.
Good luck.
Greg already struggles to maintain his composure.
Greg already struggles to maintain his composure.
Guess i'll lock up.
Guess i'll lock up.
Ha ha ha ha!
Ha ha ha ha!
Ha ha!
Ha ha!
Had you been drinking?
Had you been drinking?
Hang on each and every decision i make.
Hang on each and every decision i make.
Hang on!
Hang on!
Has long been rumored to harbor alien life Forms,
Has long been rumored to harbor alien life Forms,
Has recently come forward
Has recently come forward
He acts like he's a saint, but he's a hypocrite.
He acts like he's a saint, but he's a hypocrite.
He just pushed me over, sir, 'cause it's funny...
He just pushed me over, sir, 'cause it's funny...
He showed clarity issues.
He showed clarity issues.
He was selling information to the f. B.I.
He was selling information to the f. B.I.
He's never done an on Camera interview before,
He's never done an on Camera interview before,
He's visiting from florida.
He's visiting from florida.
Hello?
Hello?
Hello?
Hello?
Hello?
Hello?
Hello.
Hello.
Hello. Mangia, mangia, you hungry?
Hello. Mangia, mangia, you hungry?
Help me.
Help me.
Help me.
Help me.
Here in america, over 76% of the population
Here in america, over 76% of the population
Here in guatemala...
Here in guatemala...
Here on the compound of mezea ministries,
Here on the compound of mezea ministries,
Here! Cover us!
Here! Cover us!
Here. Here's gifts from america.
Here. Here's gifts from america.
Here's looking at you, jon.
Here's looking at you, jon.
Here's me eating an ice cream cone.
Here's me eating an ice cream cone.
Hey, can you look at this for a sec?
Hey, can you look at this for a sec?
Hey, hon.
Hey, hon.
Hey, i'm, uh, i'm in chamber with that human
Hey, i'm, uh, i'm in chamber with that human
Hey, jon, you forget something?
Hey, jon, you forget something?
Hey, who'd you talk to over there?
Hey, who'd you talk to over there?
Hey, you seem pretty cool.
Hey, you seem pretty cool.
Hey... yeah.
Hey... yeah.
Hi, hi. Sir, sir...
Hi, hi. Sir, sir...
Hi, we're with you can't shoot here!
Hi, we're with you can't shoot here!
Hi.
Hi.
Hi.
Hi.
Hi.
Hi.
Hi. Jon.
Hi. Jon.
Highly Secured compound of el manta blanca,
Highly Secured compound of el manta blanca,
His daughter makes them, so, uh...
His daughter makes them, so, uh...
His face was...
His face was...
Hold on a sec.
Hold on a sec.
Hold on one second.
Hold on one second.
How are you? I'm jon.
How are you? I'm jon.
How did that happen?
How did that happen?
How did you make it through till the end?
How did you make it through till the end?
How do we know this?
How do we know this?
How long you been working for nino?
How long you been working for nino?
However, in recent years,
However, in recent years,
I
I
I I just...
I I just...
I I'm seeing me five years ago.
I I'm seeing me five years ago.
I I'm sorry. I
I I'm sorry. I
I am el manta blanca!
I am el manta blanca!
I appreciate it. Um...
I appreciate it. Um...
I came through the star door from earth,
I came through the star door from earth,
I came through the star door. I didn't see.
I came through the star door. I didn't see.
I can get in a load of trouble for that.
I can get in a load of trouble for that.
I can't believe you actually did it.
I can't believe you actually did it.
I can't guarantee that, though.
I can't guarantee that, though.
I can't hear you, so...
I can't hear you, so...
I can't stand papa.
I can't stand papa.
I certainly didn't mean for you
I certainly didn't mean for you
I couldn't pass that up.
I couldn't pass that up.
I didn't even comprehend
I didn't even comprehend
I don't even understand french.
I don't even understand french.
I don't know if it's mozzarella or...
I don't know if it's mozzarella or...
I don't know what he's saying, but i don't
I don't know what he's saying, but i don't
I don't think it's
I don't think it's
I don't want it.
I don't want it.
I don't want to go through a star door.
I don't want to go through a star door.
I don't want to hit him.
I don't want to hit him.
I feared for my life
I feared for my life
I feel like nicolas cage.
I feel like nicolas cage.
I figured. I thought that was
I figured. I thought that was
I go back and forth between you and nino.
I go back and forth between you and nino.
I go back and forth between you and nino.
I go back and forth between you and nino.
I got a lot of people want to rent out that back room.
I got a lot of people want to rent out that back room.
I got my passport.
I got my passport.
I had no idea. Guys, right?
I had no idea. Guys, right?
I have so much to be thankful for here.
I have so much to be thankful for here.
I have to go.
I have to go.
I have to pretend to be interested
I have to pretend to be interested
I interviewed little italy
I interviewed little italy
I just didn't feel like i wanted to deal with it there
I just didn't feel like i wanted to deal with it there
I just dumped a ton of garbage in the street.
I just dumped a ton of garbage in the street.
I just figured since... well, you know.
I just figured since... well, you know.
I just host a tv show. That's it.
I just host a tv show. That's it.
I just like the way it sounds.
I just like the way it sounds.
I know, that's what i'm trying to tell the guy.
I know, that's what i'm trying to tell the guy.
I know.
I know.
I let myself go.
I let myself go.
I liked it better
I liked it better
I live a waking dream!
I live a waking dream!
I live for freedom.
I live for freedom.
I love pizelles, thanks.
I love pizelles, thanks.
I love you
I love you
I love you.
I love you.
I made some iced tea. Ooh... oh.
I made some iced tea. Ooh... oh.
I make the gesture to frank
I make the gesture to frank
I mean, i Not that i'm looking for it.
I mean, i Not that i'm looking for it.
I mean, i'll just walk around and...
I mean, i'll just walk around and...
I mean, we both
I mean, we both
I mean, we have a better producer
I mean, we have a better producer
I mean, you know, they're lucky to have the back room.
I mean, you know, they're lucky to have the back room.
I might just do that, if you don't mind.
I might just do that, if you don't mind.
I might stop off at the bar, though.
I might stop off at the bar, though.
I need to ask you a couple of questions.
I need to ask you a couple of questions.
I really, really wish i could have passed out.
I really, really wish i could have passed out.
I think that if i was bald, i'd kill myself.
I think that if i was bald, i'd kill myself.
I thought that was good.
I thought that was good.
I trusted you with my little girl,
I trusted you with my little girl,
I used it to not run away.
I used it to not run away.
I want all the guns on the street!
I want all the guns on the street!
I was angry at first, but...
I was angry at first, but...
I was not in the war.
I was not in the war.
I wear a hairpiece.
I wear a hairpiece.
I would like to request a mercy cube for my client.
I would like to request a mercy cube for my client.
I...
I...
I'd ever experienced in my life.
I'd ever experienced in my life.
I'd have to go all the way down there
I'd have to go all the way down there
I'll fight for you.
I'll fight for you.
I'll I'll probably just come back
I'll I'll probably just come back
I'll make you laugh.
I'll make you laugh.
I'm a smoker.
I'm a smoker.
I'm doing it right now, actually,
I'm doing it right now, actually,
I'm doing the interview.
I'm doing the interview.
I'm edward sheath.
I'm edward sheath.
I'm glad i don't do this anymore.
I'm glad i don't do this anymore.
I'm glad you came to see me, jon.
I'm glad you came to see me, jon.
I'm going on In, uh, on the On, uh, email.
I'm going on In, uh, on the On, uh, email.
I'm going on web.
I'm going on web.
I'm gonna be your counsel
I'm gonna be your counsel
I'm gonna come with you.
I'm gonna come with you.
I'm here to help you guys.
I'm here to help you guys.
I'm here to see rob. A friend.
I'm here to see rob. A friend.
I'm jon benjamin from america.
I'm jon benjamin from america.
I'm jon.
I'm jon.
I'm just gonna walk...
I'm just gonna walk...
I'm okay. Leo, no, come with me.
I'm okay. Leo, no, come with me.
I'm out of bullets!
I'm out of bullets!
I'm saying, were you in a firefight or...
I'm saying, were you in a firefight or...
I'm serious. It's $100 if you
I'm serious. It's $100 if you
I'm smoking.
I'm smoking.
I'm so sorry, jon.
I'm so sorry, jon.
I'm sorry about
I'm sorry about
I'm sorry we didn't have any wine.
I'm sorry we didn't have any wine.
I'm sorry, you're in a meeting.
I'm sorry, you're in a meeting.
I'm sorry. You lost cash stall.
I'm sorry. You lost cash stall.
I'm the host of cash stall.
I'm the host of cash stall.
I'm totally free now.
I'm totally free now.
I've become a very important man, as you can see.
I've become a very important man, as you can see.
I've been so pumped full of drugs,
I've been so pumped full of drugs,
I've begun to notice it looks more and more filthy,
I've begun to notice it looks more and more filthy,
I've done a lot of stories in my life,
I've done a lot of stories in my life,
I've found love, all because i smoke.
I've found love, all because i smoke.
If i spoke to her then.
If i spoke to her then.
If you wanna come and help.
If you wanna come and help.
If you're convicted it's, you know, immediate execution,
If you're convicted it's, you know, immediate execution,
If you're watching this right now,
If you're watching this right now,
In 2008, 32 year old farmer bross lockley
In 2008, 32 year old farmer bross lockley
In 2009 he was interviewed
In 2009 he was interviewed
In a few hours, earth will be destroyed.
In a few hours, earth will be destroyed.
In all this nonsense they jabber to me about.
In all this nonsense they jabber to me about.
In america someday!
In america someday!
In america, you became little, little italy.
In america, you became little, little italy.
In human history.
In human history.
In the bathroom.
In the bathroom.
In the case of the star door accident.
In the case of the star door accident.
In the end, we commissioned most of them as officers.
In the end, we commissioned most of them as officers.
In the face of adversity.
In the face of adversity.
In the face of great adversity.
In the face of great adversity.
In the guitarist from metallica's house.
In the guitarist from metallica's house.
In the states.
In the states.
In the town of la frontera comalapa.
In the town of la frontera comalapa.
In the world couldn't repair
In the world couldn't repair
In to see me, she screamed at the top of her lungs.
In to see me, she screamed at the top of her lungs.
Including the only pipes
Including the only pipes
Including yours, my friend.
Including yours, my friend.
Indeed, i do.
Indeed, i do.
Into guatemala,
Into guatemala,
Involved in top Secret operations.
Involved in top Secret operations.
Is a star door, a portal to another galaxy.
Is a star door, a portal to another galaxy.
Is an offense punishable by death.
Is an offense punishable by death.
Is it in danger of disappearing altogether?
Is it in danger of disappearing altogether?
Is slightly blurred.
Is slightly blurred.
Is that a bald spot,
Is that a bald spot,
Is that sometimes it just gets very hard...
Is that sometimes it just gets very hard...
Is that the wife?
Is that the wife?
Is the back room of this deli.
Is the back room of this deli.
Is there really such a thing as star doors?
Is there really such a thing as star doors?
Is there really such a thing as star doors?
Is there really such a thing as star doors?
Is to house extraterrestrial life Forms,
Is to house extraterrestrial life Forms,
It also had other markings on it,
It also had other markings on it,
It is here on this most hallowed of land
It is here on this most hallowed of land
It took me so long to put my life back together.
It took me so long to put my life back together.
It was funny.
It was funny.
It was It was juvenile, and i'm sorry it happened.
It was It was juvenile, and i'm sorry it happened.
It was like being in a dream.
It was like being in a dream.
It'll come off by itself, end up down the drain.
It'll come off by itself, end up down the drain.
It's 9:00 a. M. Anyway.
It's 9:00 a. M. Anyway.
It's a celebration.
It's a celebration.
It's a joke, rocco.
It's a joke, rocco.
It's funny what happens, no?
It's funny what happens, no?
It's happening tonight.
It's happening tonight.
It's not important.
It's not important.
It's ours to take.
It's ours to take.
It's pretty.
It's pretty.
It's quite clear that he smoked a pipe.
It's quite clear that he smoked a pipe.
It's still almost impossible to communicate the horrors
It's still almost impossible to communicate the horrors
It's stupid.
It's stupid.
It's the end of the world, you know.
It's the end of the world, you know.
Jargon loprax, i hereby sentence you
Jargon loprax, i hereby sentence you
Jesus christ, no!
Jesus christ, no!
Join us in the blessed sacrament that is
Join us in the blessed sacrament that is
Jon benjamin has a van.
Jon benjamin has a van.
Jon benjamin.
Jon benjamin.
Jon, come on.
Jon, come on.
Jon, could you please get my passport out of the van?
Jon, could you please get my passport out of the van?
Jon, i understand your pain.
Jon, i understand your pain.
Jon, let me let you in on a little secret.
Jon, let me let you in on a little secret.
Jon, meet me at the compound.
Jon, meet me at the compound.
Jon, tell 'em i I
Jon, tell 'em i I
Jon.
Jon.
Juan?
Juan?
Juan. What?
Juan. What?
Just don't worry about nothing. I'm taking care of you.
Just don't worry about nothing. I'm taking care of you.
Just like my barbecue sauce.
Just like my barbecue sauce.
Just relax, let me handle this thing, okay?
Just relax, let me handle this thing, okay?
Just so you know this has gotta be the last time
Just so you know this has gotta be the last time
Just tell her we'll shoot around...
Just tell her we'll shoot around...
Just to get back into the states.
Just to get back into the states.
Kept the sign and the velvet ropes.
Kept the sign and the velvet ropes.
Killed them.
Killed them.
Killed those two offspring.
Killed those two offspring.
Killing his two offspring in the backseat of the car.
Killing his two offspring in the backseat of the car.
Killing two of his offspring.
Killing two of his offspring.
Known to be in existence.
Known to be in existence.
Known to have been smoked by jesus.
Known to have been smoked by jesus.
Large.
Large.
Let me explain.
Let me explain.
Let's do it.
Let's do it.
Let's drink all our punch
Let's drink all our punch
Let's eat.
Let's eat.
Let's eat.
Let's eat.
Like a fountain of youth.
Like a fountain of youth.
Like a pile of raw chicken fat
Like a pile of raw chicken fat
Like specters from some lost civilization!
Like specters from some lost civilization!
Like, a penis in their mouth.
Like, a penis in their mouth.
Like, we got you on camera the whole time
Like, we got you on camera the whole time
Listen, i got to take this call.
Listen, i got to take this call.
Listen, jon, we can do this
Listen, jon, we can do this
Listen, you don't worry about nothing, okay?
Listen, you don't worry about nothing, okay?
Little italy and little, little italy?
Little italy and little, little italy?
Little italy has shrunk dramatically.
Little italy has shrunk dramatically.
Little italy is coming!
Little italy is coming!
Little italy remains one of new york city's
Little italy remains one of new york city's
Little, little italy started.
Little, little italy started.
Lived, studied, and smoked his pipe.
Lived, studied, and smoked his pipe.
Log on.
Log on.
Look at you all in your stupid white robes
Look at you all in your stupid white robes
Make love to me, then leave.
Make love to me, then leave.
Make love to me.
Make love to me.
Make me an egg.
Make me an egg.
Make sure that you take two pills a day.
Make sure that you take two pills a day.
Many soldiers return with life Altering injuries.
Many soldiers return with life Altering injuries.
May i take your picture?
May i take your picture?
Maybe the world did end a little bit each time.
Maybe the world did end a little bit each time.
Maybe they weren't.
Maybe they weren't.
Me.
Me.
Most infamous drug lords.
Most infamous drug lords.
Most of the time, they weren't fooling anybody.
Most of the time, they weren't fooling anybody.
Most of this information has been declassified now,
Most of this information has been declassified now,
Much better.
Much better.
Much of it has been absorbed by neighboring china town,
Much of it has been absorbed by neighboring china town,
My client came from earth through the star door
My client came from earth through the star door
My father...
My father...
My father...
My father...
My natural hair is so perfect
My natural hair is so perfect
Need you looking good tomorrow.
Need you looking good tomorrow.
Neighborhood association president frank palantino.
Neighborhood association president frank palantino.
Nice. Oh, yeah.
Nice. Oh, yeah.
Nightmare.
Nightmare.
No offense, but... they're sort of silly looking.
No offense, but... they're sort of silly looking.
No one's gonna know that hair's not real.
No one's gonna know that hair's not real.
No problemo, guys. It's a joke.
No problemo, guys. It's a joke.
No, i mean i'll call her,
No, i mean i'll call her,
No, no, no, no...
No, no, no, no...
No, we all go through life with selfish desires,
No, we all go through life with selfish desires,
No.
No.
No. No.
No. No.
Nobody's arguing those facts.
Nobody's arguing those facts.
None of which All right, look,
None of which All right, look,
Not that i need the calories.
Not that i need the calories.
Nothing. That was stupid.
Nothing. That was stupid.
Notice the trash can 15 feet away.
Notice the trash can 15 feet away.
Now consisting of only a few new york city blocks.
Now consisting of only a few new york city blocks.
Now my daughter, she make delicious italian cookies.
Now my daughter, she make delicious italian cookies.
Now take a pill.
Now take a pill.
Now you help me!
Now you help me!
Obviously, thank you for, uh
Obviously, thank you for, uh
Of actually being there.
Of actually being there.
Of italy called "little italy. "
Of italy called "little italy. "
Of new york city is getting smaller and smaller.
Of new york city is getting smaller and smaller.
Of rituals and beliefs.
Of rituals and beliefs.
Of the disfigured farmer about her experience
Of the disfigured farmer about her experience
Oh Ooh.
Oh Ooh.
Oh, did i mention they were female bios?
Oh, did i mention they were female bios?
Oh, god
Oh, god
Oh, god!
Oh, god!
Oh, great.
Oh, great.
Oh, it's lovely down there. Yeah.
Oh, it's lovely down there. Yeah.
Oh, joy!
Oh, joy!
Oh, my god!
Oh, my god!
Oh, my god!
Oh, my god!
Oh, my god.
Oh, my god.
Oh, my god.
Oh, my god.
Oh, nino asked me
Oh, nino asked me
Oh, right.
Oh, right.
Oh,.
Oh,.
Oh!
Oh!
Ohh! Switch!
Ohh! Switch!
Ohhh!
Ohhh!
Okay, i need you to be honest with me.
Okay, i need you to be honest with me.
Okay, okay, guys.
Okay, okay, guys.
Okay, okay.
Okay, okay.
Okay? You get some rest.
Okay? You get some rest.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay. Well
Okay. Well
Okay. All right. You can hear?
Okay. All right. You can hear?
Okay. I'm mosham.
Okay. I'm mosham.
Okay. Well then, you two guys can get out of here.
Okay. Well then, you two guys can get out of here.
Old friend.
Old friend.
On net.
On net.
On the contrary, they got it absolutely right.
On the contrary, they got it absolutely right.
On the other side of the star door.
On the other side of the star door.
On the show. Sure.
On the show. Sure.
On tonight's jon benjamin has a van.
On tonight's jon benjamin has a van.
One is in an abbey in genoa, italy.
One is in an abbey in genoa, italy.
One of the western hemisphere's
One of the western hemisphere's
One of the world's most secretive military bases.
One of the world's most secretive military bases.
One year later we went down to mexico
One year later we went down to mexico
Onto transport lane 57 and collided with jargon loprax,
Onto transport lane 57 and collided with jargon loprax,
Ooh.
Ooh.
Or is it actually a solar panel for a sex machine?
Or is it actually a solar panel for a sex machine?
Our exclusive interview
Our exclusive interview
Our exclusive interview
Our exclusive interview
Out of the van right now.
Out of the van right now.
Over here.
Over here.
Ow.
Ow.
Perhaps this video will better explain.
Perhaps this video will better explain.
Pizzelle con la macchina.
Pizzelle con la macchina.
Please the court.
Please the court.
Please, amigo. Su pasaporte.
Please, amigo. Su pasaporte.
Pleasure to meet you. Enjoy your stay.
Pleasure to meet you. Enjoy your stay.
Pleasure was mine.
Pleasure was mine.
Plus a special "shame on me" report
Plus a special "shame on me" report
Plus, a special report
Plus, a special report
Pointing to the fact that jesus smoked a pipe,
Pointing to the fact that jesus smoked a pipe,
Premiere tourist destinations.
Premiere tourist destinations.
Previously we did a story about border security,
Previously we did a story about border security,
Private nathan glaser is one such soldier
Private nathan glaser is one such soldier
Probably still smell 'em.
Probably still smell 'em.
Pushed me over the border
Pushed me over the border
Raise a foot if you believe me!
Raise a foot if you believe me!
Really cool to meet you.
Really cool to meet you.
Really wants to advertise.
Really wants to advertise.
Recently, we received a number of complaints
Recently, we received a number of complaints
Relax. I'm doing great.
Relax. I'm doing great.
Reverend rocco janson says he has a special insight.
Reverend rocco janson says he has a special insight.
Right at this moment, i'm driving into area 51,
Right at this moment, i'm driving into area 51,
Right here's good, guys.
Right here's good, guys.
Rob Rick, rick.
Rob Rick, rick.
See before we came here, uh, we lived in an area
See before we came here, uh, we lived in an area
See if i can pick up some girls.
See if i can pick up some girls.
See the camera? Ohh!
See the camera? Ohh!
See the camera? Okay.
See the camera? Okay.
See what we got.
See what we got.
See, little italy starts to shrink
See, little italy starts to shrink
Sex with.
Sex with.
Shame on me.
Shame on me.
Shame on me.
Shame on me.
Shame on me.
Shame on me.
Shame on me.
Shame on me.
She can make her own decisions!
She can make her own decisions!
She screamed
She screamed
She's a full Grown woman,
She's a full Grown woman,
She's so small.
She's so small.
Si, si.
Si, si.
Since i moved into my new neighborhood,
Since i moved into my new neighborhood,
Since then we use it when big tourists
Since then we use it when big tourists
Sir?
Sir?
So i have to cover it.
So i have to cover it.
So i need to know who was driving the car.
So i need to know who was driving the car.
So i'll do as i please,
So i'll do as i please,
So it's, like, a million light Years from here, right?
So it's, like, a million light Years from here, right?
So many of us came to america to have a better life.
So many of us came to america to have a better life.
So not the best.
So not the best.
So thank you for being here, nathan.
So thank you for being here, nathan.
So we burned you.
So we burned you.
So we got you. Very good.
So we got you. Very good.
So we'll just do the story,
So we'll just do the story,
So we're done, man.
So we're done, man.
So you got 34 new messages this morning?
So you got 34 new messages this morning?
So you offer more realistic Looking toupees?
So you offer more realistic Looking toupees?
So, george, how can we help you?
So, george, how can we help you?
Somewhere in the keenan system.
Somewhere in the keenan system.
Sorry, fellas.
Sorry, fellas.
Sorry, what? "Casa" what?
Sorry, what? "Casa" what?
Sorry.
Sorry.
Stay here, and, you know, space is a premium, so...
Stay here, and, you know, space is a premium, so...
Suffered a horrible accident
Suffered a horrible accident
Sure, it was hard to make a living first,
Sure, it was hard to make a living first,
Taking your picture all the time.
Taking your picture all the time.
Telling the story of where it came from.
Telling the story of where it came from.
Than to harbor biological offspring in his transport.
Than to harbor biological offspring in his transport.
Than you ever were,
Than you ever were,
Thank you very much...
Thank you very much...
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thanks a lot, tom. See you, derrick.
Thanks a lot, tom. See you, derrick.
That a young jesus of nazareth
That a young jesus of nazareth
That area 51's main purpose
That area 51's main purpose
That bross had suffered.
That bross had suffered.
That jesus christ smoked a pipe.
That jesus christ smoked a pipe.
That killed those, uh, kids.
That killed those, uh, kids.
That little italy has always just let little, little italy
That little italy has always just let little, little italy
That people think it's a hairpiece,
That people think it's a hairpiece,
That was a movie.
That was a movie.
That was That was...
That was That was...
That's hot.
That's hot.
That's me! Yeah!
That's me! Yeah!
That's That's my joke, you ass!
That's That's my joke, you ass!
That's the law.
That's the law.
The answer is yes.
The answer is yes.
The are a myriad of theories on how and when it will happen.
The are a myriad of theories on how and when it will happen.
The breeding of biological offspring
The breeding of biological offspring
The church of the pipe of christ.
The church of the pipe of christ.
The cloth draping that wrapped the body of jesus
The cloth draping that wrapped the body of jesus
The doctors think it started in basic training.
The doctors think it started in basic training.
The door might not remain open very much longer.
The door might not remain open very much longer.
The end of the world is a horrifying, uh,
The end of the world is a horrifying, uh,
The extent of damage to my body.
The extent of damage to my body.
The game cash stall? Wait.
The game cash stall? Wait.
The historic little italy section
The historic little italy section
The horrendous deformities
The horrendous deformities
The is the interview man i told you about.
The is the interview man i told you about.
The joke.
The joke.
The journey you're about to embark on
The journey you're about to embark on
The moment i met him.
The moment i met him.
The most useless bios of them all.
The most useless bios of them all.
The other pipe is here
The other pipe is here
The show you can't shoot here!
The show you can't shoot here!
The smoke must be getting in the way of the signal.
The smoke must be getting in the way of the signal.
The sweet and the smoky,
The sweet and the smoky,
The top secret area 51
The top secret area 51
The tricky part was getting them through clearance.
The tricky part was getting them through clearance.
Then you accuse me of being a fraud.
Then you accuse me of being a fraud.
There is no entry here. No pasada aqui.
There is no entry here. No pasada aqui.
There's no question about it.
There's no question about it.
There's no tomorrow, i promise.
There's no tomorrow, i promise.
There's no way to determine what to expect
There's no way to determine what to expect
There's the camera right there. Okay.
There's the camera right there. Okay.
They don't consider pre Traumatic stress disorder
They don't consider pre Traumatic stress disorder
They don't get it.
They don't get it.
They shot the tire out!
They shot the tire out!
They themselves are squeezing out someone else.
They themselves are squeezing out someone else.
They're bios. It's case closed.
They're bios. It's case closed.
They're coming!
They're coming!
They're gone, aren't they?
They're gone, aren't they?
They're gonna try to wipe us out.
They're gonna try to wipe us out.
They're more interesting than you.
They're more interesting than you.
They're so small.
They're so small.
They're so...
They're so...
Things happen all the time.
Things happen all the time.
Thinks he can change all that.
Thinks he can change all that.
This area right here is the Yeah?
This area right here is the Yeah?
This bad blood.
This bad blood.
This clarity Deficient earth idiot...
This clarity Deficient earth idiot...
This cube clarity analysis disallowed.
This cube clarity analysis disallowed.
This human came through the star door
This human came through the star door
This is all bull.
This is all bull.
This is me! Every inch i loathe!
This is me! Every inch i loathe!
This is my daughter gabriella.
This is my daughter gabriella.
This is not mississippi where the age of consent is 12.
This is not mississippi where the age of consent is 12.
This next one's hard to believe.
This next one's hard to believe.
This reverend claims to know exactly when the world will end,
This reverend claims to know exactly when the world will end,
This, um, pizelles. Pizelles?
This, um, pizelles. Pizelles?
Thousands of lives
Thousands of lives
Throw cigarettes at people
Throw cigarettes at people
Time is money. Let's go.
Time is money. Let's go.
To america entrado, okay? We'll see you back
To america entrado, okay? We'll see you back
To check in on rob and see how he was doing.
To check in on rob and see how he was doing.
To death by execution, effective immediately.
To death by execution, effective immediately.
To disguise their hair loss.
To disguise their hair loss.
To give you this.
To give you this.
To have to live in mexico for a year.
To have to live in mexico for a year.
To know exactly when the world will end.
To know exactly when the world will end.
To make things right.
To make things right.
To tell you to shut your mouth.
To tell you to shut your mouth.
Today.
Today.
Top Secret discotheque
Top Secret discotheque
Trish!
Trish!
Uh Huh. Yes.
Uh Huh. Yes.
Uh, benjamin.
Uh, benjamin.
Uh, cara, gabriella, bella,
Uh, cara, gabriella, bella,
Uh, i have a tv show.
Uh, i have a tv show.
Uh, we all get along.
Uh, we all get along.
Uh, we could make love.
Uh, we could make love.
Um, in brooklyn.
Um, in brooklyn.
Um, stay with me.
Um, stay with me.
Um, you're not gonna
Um, you're not gonna
Uncovered a relic which bore hieroglyphics
Uncovered a relic which bore hieroglyphics
Unlike most, he claims with certainty
Unlike most, he claims with certainty
Until now.
Until now.
Very awkward.
Very awkward.
Very nice. Yes.
Very nice. Yes.
Wait till my wife gets a load of this.
Wait till my wife gets a load of this.
Wait. Wait.
Wait. Wait.
Want to stay in little, little italy.
Want to stay in little, little italy.
We bring you the story of one man's courage
We bring you the story of one man's courage
We don't take it all.
We don't take it all.
We even confronted me about this on camera,
We even confronted me about this on camera,
We got you.
We got you.
We have our celebration,
We have our celebration,
We have to hurry.
We have to hurry.
We let 'em use it.
We let 'em use it.
We might have to use it in court.
We might have to use it in court.
We not only believe that jesus is the son of god,
We not only believe that jesus is the son of god,
We return to lockley farm to speak with the wife
We return to lockley farm to speak with the wife
We share everything.
We share everything.
We will not accept this. We will appeal this.
We will not accept this. We will appeal this.
We'll visit with this soldier
We'll visit with this soldier
We're all going to the next platform.
We're all going to the next platform.
We're done.
We're done.
We're down here doing a story
We're down here doing a story
We're here to shoot video for the show,
We're here to shoot video for the show,
We're just gonna shoot in the lobby.
We're just gonna shoot in the lobby.
We're just shooting around...
We're just shooting around...
We're with the show you can't shoot here!
We're with the show you can't shoot here!
We've been taping you the whole way
We've been taping you the whole way
We've been taping you the whole...
We've been taping you the whole...
Weirdo.
Weirdo.
Well that's a possibility More than a moment.
Well that's a possibility More than a moment.
Well, hopefully we can get
Well, hopefully we can get
Well, hopefully we can get
Well, hopefully we can get
Well, i didn't know it was gonna be a road.
Well, i didn't know it was gonna be a road.
Well, i suppose for a, uh, non Believer such as yourself,
Well, i suppose for a, uh, non Believer such as yourself,
Well, i'm not gonna dispute anything the prosecution said
Well, i'm not gonna dispute anything the prosecution said
Well, it attracted a lot of attention.
Well, it attracted a lot of attention.
Well, no, i felt the same way
Well, no, i felt the same way
Well, not many do anymore.
Well, not many do anymore.
Well, obviously, i didn't get it right that time,
Well, obviously, i didn't get it right that time,
Well, you're not not in trouble.
Well, you're not not in trouble.
Went a little awry.
Went a little awry.
What about august 9, 1998?
What about august 9, 1998?
What about me?
What about me?
What are you doing here?
What are you doing here?
What happened?
What happened?
What the?
What the?
What the...
What the...
What was it like over there?
What was it like over there?
What, are you driving with blindfolds on?
What, are you driving with blindfolds on?
What, because i've been wrong 17 times?
What, because i've been wrong 17 times?
What? Are you serious?
What? Are you serious?
When are you coming back?
When are you coming back?
When he was buried.
When he was buried.
When i pushed you over the border
When i pushed you over the border
When i woke up from my coma,
When i woke up from my coma,
When you get to the other side of the star door,
When you get to the other side of the star door,
When you turned the corner
When you turned the corner
When you used to drink and drive.
When you used to drink and drive.
When you're not constantly on guard.
When you're not constantly on guard.
Where i pushed you over the border.
Where i pushed you over the border.
Where we headed?
Where we headed?
Where you push me over the border.
Where you push me over the border.
Which makes sense, because i'm a disgusting pig.
Which makes sense, because i'm a disgusting pig.
Which trish has determined to be a galactic map.
Which trish has determined to be a galactic map.
Which was called area 54.
Which was called area 54.
Which, as you might well remember,
Which, as you might well remember,
While working right here on his farm.
While working right here on his farm.
Who has authenticated over 700 religious artifacts,
Who has authenticated over 700 religious artifacts,
Who Who's gonna wear one of those?
Who Who's gonna wear one of those?
Whoa!
Whoa!
Whose life has been changed forever
Whose life has been changed forever
Why am i alive?
Why am i alive?
Will be remembered as the single most important event
Will be remembered as the single most important event
Will go to the left of the guard station
Will go to the left of the guard station
With area 51's biggest secret.
With area 51's biggest secret.
With blood drizzled on it...
With blood drizzled on it...
With greg devlin.
With greg devlin.
With his communication skills, huh?
With his communication skills, huh?
With images of war over the last few decades
With images of war over the last few decades
With me.
With me.
With reclusive guatemalan drug lord el manta blanca.
With reclusive guatemalan drug lord el manta blanca.
With reclusive guatemalan drug lord el manta blanca.
With reclusive guatemalan drug lord el manta blanca.
With the faces of my past whispering past me,
With the faces of my past whispering past me,
Within area 51,
Within area 51,
Within the top Secret military base,
Within the top Secret military base,
Wonderful. Yes.
Wonderful. Yes.
Would you like to play cash stall?
Would you like to play cash stall?
Wow.
Wow.
Wow.
Wow.
Y You
Y You
Yeah, all right.
Yeah, all right.
Yeah, do you check it every day, or...
Yeah, do you check it every day, or...
Yeah, hi.
Yeah, hi.
Yeah, i don't take babies.
Yeah, i don't take babies.
Yeah, i know. That looks bad.
Yeah, i know. That looks bad.
Yeah, me too.
Yeah, me too.
Yeah, mosham.
Yeah, mosham.
Yeah, they're dead as a doornail.
Yeah, they're dead as a doornail.
Yeah, they're great.
Yeah, they're great.
Yes, i am, dave.
Yes, i am, dave.
Yes.
Yes.
Yes. Loving it.
Yes. Loving it.
You ass!
You ass!
You ass!
You ass!
You came here, you fell in love with a girl,
You came here, you fell in love with a girl,
You can win $100 if you... Cash what?
You can win $100 if you... Cash what?
You can't just run off willy Nilly
You can't just run off willy Nilly
You can't shoot here!
You can't shoot here!
You can't shoot here! You cannot shoot here.
You can't shoot here! You cannot shoot here.
You can't shoot here! And that's why...
You can't shoot here! And that's why...
You can't win this.
You can't win this.
You dick!
You dick!
You don't even speak her language,
You don't even speak her language,
You don't have to eat before, but just around meal time.
You don't have to eat before, but just around meal time.
You don't mind that, do ya?
You don't mind that, do ya?
You don't wanna do that.
You don't wanna do that.
You got burned.
You got burned.
You got burned.
You got burned.
You got me, pal? Yeah, yeah... yep.
You got me, pal? Yeah, yeah... yep.
You got nothing to worry about.
You got nothing to worry about.
You guys all right?
You guys all right?
You guys okay? You good?
You guys okay? You good?
You have responsibilities.
You have responsibilities.
You know what? I'm really happy for you, rob.
You know what? I'm really happy for you, rob.
You know, it took its toll on my relationship
You know, it took its toll on my relationship
You know, living with my With my injury.
You know, living with my With my injury.
You know, they just moralize.
You know, they just moralize.
You know, those little.
You know, those little.
You know, you have a wife and a family and...
You know, you have a wife and a family and...
You lazy jerk.
You lazy jerk.
You look well.
You look well.
You mind if i smoke?
You mind if i smoke?
You mother
You mother
You must leave now, sir! Let's go!
You must leave now, sir! Let's go!
You take one of these pills, and i can understand you.
You take one of these pills, and i can understand you.
You tied down right now?
You tied down right now?
You too are not without blame.
You too are not without blame.
You too, colonel.
You too, colonel.
You used to be such a self Absorbed ass
You used to be such a self Absorbed ass
You wanna log on? I don't know how.
You wanna log on? I don't know how.
You want to come hang with us?
You want to come hang with us?
You want to come hang with us?
You want to come hang with us?
You wear one of my hairpieces on the street,
You wear one of my hairpieces on the street,
You were walking.
You were walking.
You will feel a little bit better.
You will feel a little bit better.
You, in the next stall,
You, in the next stall,
You, man.
You, man.
You!
You!
You!
You!
You'll never guess who smoked this pipe.
You'll never guess who smoked this pipe.
You'll see it.
You'll see it.
You're 45. No one starts smoking at 45.
You're 45. No one starts smoking at 45.
You're a drug lord now?
You're a drug lord now?
You're a fraud.
You're a fraud.
You're a pro.
You're a pro.
You're all too small and you know it.
You're all too small and you know it.
You're on the show you got burned.
You're on the show you got burned.
You've probably just asked...
You've probably just asked...
Your sex life, your individuality,
Your sex life, your individuality,
Yup, we did it!
Yup, we did it!
12 years ago, military archeologists
12 years ago, military archeologists
15!
15!
'Cause he was saying that this is
'Cause he was saying that this is
"Joke," in spanish.
"Joke," in spanish.
Aah!
Aah!
Aah!
Aah!
Aah!
Aah!
Aah!
Aah!
Aah! I got you.
Aah! I got you.
Aah. Your hands.
Aah. Your hands.
Actually, you don't, jon!
Actually, you don't, jon!
After holy and moley.
After holy and moley.
Agreed.
Agreed.
Ah, god.
Ah, god.
Ah, thank you.
Ah, thank you.
Ah, well, his death takes nothing away
Ah, well, his death takes nothing away
Ah. And your interview with him.
Ah. And your interview with him.
Ahh!
Ahh!
Ahh! Ahh!
Ahh! Ahh!
All right, all right, all right!
All right, all right, all right!
All right, all right, all right!
All right, all right, all right!
All right, let's read some mail then.
All right, let's read some mail then.
All right, now let's, uh, let's take a look,
All right, now let's, uh, let's take a look,
All right, wait.
All right, wait.
All right! Whoo!
All right! Whoo!
All right.
All right.
All right. Bye, nino.
All right. Bye, nino.
All you have to do is sign the form,
All you have to do is sign the form,
And now a jon benjamin has a van
And now a jon benjamin has a van
And now all we got
And now all we got
And so when they brought my daughter
And so when they brought my daughter
And then what happened? Well, then things change.
And then what happened? Well, then things change.
And what, uh, what happened?
And what, uh, what happened?
And you didn't deliver it, you're still alive.
And you didn't deliver it, you're still alive.
Anything?
Anything?
Are they filming something? Yeah, this is you can't...
Are they filming something? Yeah, this is you can't...
Are you serious? Those are the rules.
Are you serious? Those are the rules.
Aw, this is making me hungry, you guys wanna eat?
Aw, this is making me hungry, you guys wanna eat?
Bad things happen here.
Bad things happen here.
Because i don't like
Because i don't like
Because i've received the messages, jon.
Because i've received the messages, jon.
Bethlehem The year, 25 a. D.
Bethlehem The year, 25 a. D.
Booooomb!
Booooomb!
But now it's just a irish pub.
But now it's just a irish pub.
But you can't do this.
But you can't do this.
But you don't see the whole picture, man!
But you don't see the whole picture, man!
Can you Sir, excuse me?
Can you Sir, excuse me?
Can you Wait, i'm sorry?
Can you Wait, i'm sorry?
Can you put that out?
Can you put that out?
Can you shoot video in here?
Can you shoot video in here?
Carol? Uh, no, we can't.
Carol? Uh, no, we can't.
Cash stall, like the stalls that we're in
Cash stall, like the stalls that we're in
Chief magistrate, as you can clearly see,
Chief magistrate, as you can clearly see,
Christianity is the world's largest religion.
Christianity is the world's largest religion.
Cigarette?
Cigarette?
Come on, we're going. Jon, you're getting
Come on, we're going. Jon, you're getting
Come on! Get the jeep! Get the jeep!
Come on! Get the jeep! Get the jeep!
Coming up on jon benjamin has a van...
Coming up on jon benjamin has a van...
Currently, there are only two surviving pipes of christ
Currently, there are only two surviving pipes of christ
Cut me loose.
Cut me loose.
Dave? What's up?
Dave? What's up?
Defending statements.
Defending statements.
Defense rests.
Defense rests.
Denied.
Denied.
Do you know if they all died?
Do you know if they all died?
Do you know, in the year since you
Do you know, in the year since you
Do you want me to do anything here?
Do you want me to do anything here?
Don't lecture me, dave, okay?
Don't lecture me, dave, okay?
Don't worry, rob.
Don't worry, rob.
Drive, man. What are you waiting for?
Drive, man. What are you waiting for?
El manta blanca will see you now.
El manta blanca will see you now.
End of the world tonight.
End of the world tonight.
Es un chiste, amigo.
Es un chiste, amigo.
Exactly, the whole way
Exactly, the whole way
Exactly.
Exactly.
Excuse me, edward, why are you throwing trash on the street?
Excuse me, edward, why are you throwing trash on the street?
Excuse me, sir, would you like to play cash stall?
Excuse me, sir, would you like to play cash stall?
Excuse me, sir.
Excuse me, sir.
Excuse me? I'm jon benjamin.
Excuse me? I'm jon benjamin.
Excuse me. Oh, we're...
Excuse me. Oh, we're...
Excuse me. Where you goin', eh?
Excuse me. Where you goin', eh?
Excuse me. You got burned.
Excuse me. You got burned.
Finish out the prescription, okay?
Finish out the prescription, okay?
For clarification on this land dispute,
For clarification on this land dispute,
Freedom lights. That's my brand also.
Freedom lights. That's my brand also.
Gabriella, we shouldn't.
Gabriella, we shouldn't.
Gabriella!
Gabriella!
Gabriella?
Gabriella?
Gabriella.
Gabriella.
Gabriella.
Gabriella.
Gay marriage? I don't know much about that.
Gay marriage? I don't know much about that.
Geez.
Geez.
Get him!
Get him!
Get in. You're driving.
Get in. You're driving.
Give it back! That's my passport!
Give it back! That's my passport!
Give me my passport, rob.
Give me my passport, rob.
Give me my passport, you ass
Give me my passport, you ass
Go now! Come on!
Go now! Come on!
Good guess.
Good guess.
Good morning, eric.
Good morning, eric.
Good morning, jesus.
Good morning, jesus.
Got a little mint to 'em, too.
Got a little mint to 'em, too.
Gracias
Gracias
Gracias. Sorry about your baby.
Gracias. Sorry about your baby.
Greg provided us with some of the raw footage
Greg provided us with some of the raw footage
Ha Ha, i get it, 'cause i'm on tv, that's funny.
Ha Ha, i get it, 'cause i'm on tv, that's funny.
Ha ha.
Ha ha.
Has the military or the veterans administration
Has the military or the veterans administration
Has this happened before?
Has this happened before?
Have fun in guatemala, rob!
Have fun in guatemala, rob!
Have fun in mexico, rob!
Have fun in mexico, rob!
He brought me here. I didn't...
He brought me here. I didn't...
He can't hear. No eardrums.
He can't hear. No eardrums.
He did?
He did?
He has to turn this thing off now.
He has to turn this thing off now.
He just had this feeling of strength coming off him
He just had this feeling of strength coming off him
He makes his money
He makes his money
Here we are with dr. Emil bronnard,
Here we are with dr. Emil bronnard,
Hey watch it, big man!
Hey watch it, big man!
Hey, end of the world tonight.
Hey, end of the world tonight.
Hey, jon. It's dave.
Hey, jon. It's dave.
Hey, man, do you have a second to discuss gay marriage?
Hey, man, do you have a second to discuss gay marriage?
Hey, man, you got a light?
Hey, man, you got a light?
Hey, man, you got a light?
Hey, man, you got a light?
Hey, paulie, finish him off.
Hey, paulie, finish him off.
Hey, what are you doin'? What's your name?
Hey, what are you doin'? What's your name?
Hi, gabriella.
Hi, gabriella.
Hi, i'm jon. Hi.
Hi, i'm jon. Hi.
Hit him one more time, that'll give him
Hit him one more time, that'll give him
Hm.
Hm.
Hm.
Hm.
Hmm.
Hmm.
Holy moley. Get it?
Holy moley. Get it?
How do you know this is gonna happen?
How do you know this is gonna happen?
How has it been since you've been back
How has it been since you've been back
How'd the story go?
How'd the story go?
Huh?
Huh?
Hyah! Ow.
Hyah! Ow.
I actually smoke as well.
I actually smoke as well.
I also lost my arm in the war.
I also lost my arm in the war.
I came for you.
I came for you.
I can't hear you.
I can't hear you.
I can't I know, i can't Uh, 'cause i'm on the phone.
I can't I know, i can't Uh, 'cause i'm on the phone.
I can't unders
I can't unders
I can't understand.
I can't understand.
I could be the father that you've never had...
I could be the father that you've never had...
I could eat. Yeah, let's eat, let's eat.
I could eat. Yeah, let's eat, let's eat.
I couldn't tell, the scale was off
I couldn't tell, the scale was off
I did it again. I gotta go.
I did it again. I gotta go.
I didn't do anything. Ah, it's probably nothing.
I didn't do anything. Ah, it's probably nothing.
I didn't know you smoked a pipe.
I didn't know you smoked a pipe.
I didn't know you was doing this interview.
I didn't know you was doing this interview.
I don't care, rob. Please, juan.
I don't care, rob. Please, juan.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't like nightmares.
I don't like nightmares.
I don't mean to be insulting,
I don't mean to be insulting,
I don't want to run him over.
I don't want to run him over.
I don't want... oh, god.
I don't want... oh, god.
I don't watch the news.
I don't watch the news.
I feel like you need to do more to burn somebody.
I feel like you need to do more to burn somebody.
I get 'em both goin'.
I get 'em both goin'.
I got burned?
I got burned?
I got you
I got you
I have no idea what you mean.
I have no idea what you mean.
I hereby revoke your driving privileges on gu'an
I hereby revoke your driving privileges on gu'an
I hope you'll make it.
I hope you'll make it.
I I can't. I'm doing a show.
I I can't. I'm doing a show.
I just shot my father in the face.
I just shot my father in the face.
I just... you know, i
I just... you know, i
I know.
I know.
I know. It's not as easy as it
I know. It's not as easy as it
I like this attitude.
I like this attitude.
I lost my arm in the war.
I lost my arm in the war.
I lost my leg during the war.
I lost my leg during the war.
I lost my voice thinking about being in the war.
I lost my voice thinking about being in the war.
I mean, but honestly,
I mean, but honestly,
I mean, thanks for being on you can't shoot here!
I mean, thanks for being on you can't shoot here!
I only speak english.
I only speak english.
I really love non Smokers.
I really love non Smokers.
I said, no, rob, i'm not getting it!
I said, no, rob, i'm not getting it!
I still have nightmares.
I still have nightmares.
I told you guys, i don't work for nino.
I told you guys, i don't work for nino.
I understand, but you can't
I understand, but you can't
I understand.
I understand.
I understand. It's just...
I understand. It's just...
I want you to do me a favor.
I want you to do me a favor.
I was a government scientist at area 51,
I was a government scientist at area 51,
I would love that.
I would love that.
I'd been getting ready for bed and brushing my teeth,
I'd been getting ready for bed and brushing my teeth,
I'm going to try to go to my inbox.
I'm going to try to go to my inbox.
I'm going to wash your wounds.
I'm going to wash your wounds.
I'm jon, i'm just visiting.
I'm jon, i'm just visiting.
I'm jon. I know.
I'm jon. I know.
I'm mike.
I'm mike.
I'm not chasing you. I'm walking with you,
I'm not chasing you. I'm walking with you,
I'm not gonna take your baby.
I'm not gonna take your baby.
I'm so sorry. Honey, i told you to knock.
I'm so sorry. Honey, i told you to knock.
I'm so sorry. I didn't catch that part.
I'm so sorry. I didn't catch that part.
I'm sorry, thank you. Absolutely.
I'm sorry, thank you. Absolutely.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry. I couldn't hear that.
I'm sorry. I couldn't hear that.
I'm sorry. I don't understand...
I'm sorry. I don't understand...
I'm telling you. I'm telling you.
I'm telling you. I'm telling you.
I've never fired a gun before, rob!
I've never fired a gun before, rob!
I've smoked for about two weeks.
I've smoked for about two weeks.
In the first six months
In the first six months
Indeed, i do, eric.
Indeed, i do, eric.
Is she gonna be okay?
Is she gonna be okay?
Is that trish? Mm Hmm.
Is that trish? Mm Hmm.
Is the star door activated?
Is the star door activated?
Is there really such a thing as star doors?
Is there really such a thing as star doors?
Is there really such a thing as star doors?
Is there really such a thing as star doors?
It didn't end well.
It didn't end well.
It exploded in his hand, nino, it was a tiny bomb.
It exploded in his hand, nino, it was a tiny bomb.
It is, colonel.
It is, colonel.
It means you got burned.
It means you got burned.
It seems impossible.
It seems impossible.
It was probably the most disgusting thing
It was probably the most disgusting thing
It was very difficult at first,
It was very difficult at first,
It was. Well, the thing is,
It was. Well, the thing is,
It would be an honor...
It would be an honor...
It's "life in the fast lane," rob.
It's "life in the fast lane," rob.
It's 14, actually.
It's 14, actually.
It's all right. I'll see you later.
It's all right. I'll see you later.
It's all right. I'll see you later.
It's all right. I'll see you later.
It's crazy that you live here, rob.
It's crazy that you live here, rob.
It's identifying the coordinates
It's identifying the coordinates
It's no chiste.
It's no chiste.
It's not me this time, jon!
It's not me this time, jon!
It's not over. I have to go.
It's not over. I have to go.
It's not their land. It's our land
It's not their land. It's our land
It's not what you think.
It's not what you think.
It's okay, brigitte. Jon is in pain.
It's okay, brigitte. Jon is in pain.
It's the best wine you ever had.
It's the best wine you ever had.
It's the scariest thing you could ever imagine.
It's the scariest thing you could ever imagine.
It's too late for excuses,
It's too late for excuses,
It's, uh... well, who's that?
It's, uh... well, who's that?
Jackson! Team "a"!
Jackson! Team "a"!
Jesus christ, rob, what are you doing?
Jesus christ, rob, what are you doing?
Jon benjamin, yes. Rob lives here?
Jon benjamin, yes. Rob lives here?
Jon, come back. I can't do this alone.
Jon, come back. I can't do this alone.
Jon, don't be a prick.
Jon, don't be a prick.
Jon, jon...
Jon, jon...
Jon, this is all an illusion, okay?
Jon, this is all an illusion, okay?
Jon!
Jon!
Jon!
Jon!
Jon!
Jon!
Jon! Drank a lot.
Jon! Drank a lot.
Juan benjamin.
Juan benjamin.
Juan, please! I don't want to live in guatemala!
Juan, please! I don't want to live in guatemala!
Juan...
Juan...
Just tell her we'll shoot in the place.
Just tell her we'll shoot in the place.
Keep shooting! Blow out the tires!
Keep shooting! Blow out the tires!
Know what the problem with kids is?
Know what the problem with kids is?
Kramer, from seinfeld.
Kramer, from seinfeld.
Leo. Leo!
Leo. Leo!
Let's get a good story.
Let's get a good story.
Lollipop?
Lollipop?
Look, i do want to apologize
Look, i do want to apologize
Look, i don't want to argue semantics with you.
Look, i don't want to argue semantics with you.
Look, i gotta pull over and get more smokes.
Look, i gotta pull over and get more smokes.
Look, you're not my dad or my step Dad, all right?
Look, you're not my dad or my step Dad, all right?
Looks pretty good.
Looks pretty good.
Maybe. Hey, you know what?
Maybe. Hey, you know what?
Mm Hm Hm Hm.
Mm Hm Hm Hm.
Mm Hm.
Mm Hm.
Mm Hm.
Mm Hm.
Mm Hmm.
Mm Hmm.
Mm Hmm. All vehicles will cross here
Mm Hmm. All vehicles will cross here
Mm Hmm. What if the messages you receive
Mm Hmm. What if the messages you receive
Mm Ooh, look, "sarah, chat tonight. "
Mm Ooh, look, "sarah, chat tonight. "
Mm.
Mm.
Mm.
Mm.
Motion accepted.
Motion accepted.
Mr. Benjamin,
Mr. Benjamin,
Mr. Benjamin,
Mr. Benjamin,
Mr. Benjamin? Mr. Benjamin?
Mr. Benjamin? Mr. Benjamin?
My name is jon. Ah.
My name is jon. Ah.
My shoulder, it hurts. Hang on.
My shoulder, it hurts. Hang on.
My wife, my children.
My wife, my children.
Nathan, shut up.
Nathan, shut up.
Never. Mm Hmm.
Never. Mm Hmm.
Nice.
Nice.
Nino! They're coming!
Nino! They're coming!
Nino. Nino?
Nino. Nino?
Nino. Papa!
Nino. Papa!
Nino. What, scum?
Nino. What, scum?
No chiste. No pasaporte, no entre.
No chiste. No pasaporte, no entre.
No filming in the store.
No filming in the store.
No mercy.
No mercy.
No problemas.
No problemas.
No what?
No what?
No, come on.
No, come on.
No, don't shoot me! Shoot the wheels!
No, don't shoot me! Shoot the wheels!
No, i don't know what's happening.
No, i don't know what's happening.
No, i never was deployed. I never made it to afghanistan.
No, i never was deployed. I never made it to afghanistan.
No, i was just talking to the border guard...
No, i was just talking to the border guard...
No, i'm getting no support from either of them.
No, i'm getting no support from either of them.
No, i'm here for rob, rob shutterman.
No, i'm here for rob, rob shutterman.
No, i'm not a weirdo. I'm the host of ca Sir?
No, i'm not a weirdo. I'm the host of ca Sir?
No, i'm not.
No, i'm not.
No, i'm very busy tonight. I can't.
No, i'm very busy tonight. I can't.
No, it was from screaming.
No, it was from screaming.
No, juan.
No, juan.
No, no, i don't I'm jon...
No, no, i don't I'm jon...
No, no, no! This is an outrage!
No, no, no! This is an outrage!
No, no, no. No entrada.
No, no, no. No entrada.
No, no, no. Yeah, yeah. $3.
No, no, no. Yeah, yeah. $3.
No, no, we don't.
No, no, we don't.
No, no, you should definitely go.
No, no, you should definitely go.
No, please, you don't understand! Nino!
No, please, you don't understand! Nino!
No, unfortunately you can't.
No, unfortunately you can't.
No, you can't shoot here.
No, you can't shoot here.
No!
No!
No! You're an idiot! They're gonna kill me!
No! You're an idiot! They're gonna kill me!
No.
No.
No.
No.
No.
No.
No.
No.
No.
No.
No. I'm hungry.
No. I'm hungry.
No. Jon, get my passport
No. Jon, get my passport
No. Okay.
No. Okay.
No. Yes.
No. Yes.
No. You ready?
No. You ready?
No. I'm not bald.
No. I'm not bald.
Noo!
Noo!
Now go!
Now go!
Now what are you waiting for?
Now what are you waiting for?
Now you bring this box to little italy
Now you bring this box to little italy
Oh ho ho ho.
Oh ho ho ho.
Oh, absolutely for. Oh, we got that light.
Oh, absolutely for. Oh, we got that light.
Oh, can you hold on a sec? Sure.
Oh, can you hold on a sec? Sure.
Oh, for god's sake.
Oh, for god's sake.
Oh, god. I'm out of bullets!
Oh, god. I'm out of bullets!
Oh, hi, dave.
Oh, hi, dave.
Oh, i mean, are you for or against?
Oh, i mean, are you for or against?
Oh, i'm sorry, hold on.
Oh, i'm sorry, hold on.
Oh, i'm sorry.
Oh, i'm sorry.
Oh, it's fine.
Oh, it's fine.
Oh, jeez.
Oh, jeez.
Oh, my god, they're shooting back!
Oh, my god, they're shooting back!
Oh, my god.
Oh, my god.
Oh, my god.
Oh, my god.
Oh, nice.
Oh, nice.
Oh, no thanks, i just ate.
Oh, no thanks, i just ate.
Oh, no, he was drinking.
Oh, no, he was drinking.
Oh, so you're completely bald.
Oh, so you're completely bald.
Oh, sorry. Yeah, we got
Oh, sorry. Yeah, we got
Oh, the jungle is so verdant.
Oh, the jungle is so verdant.
Oh, we were just explaining that we're on the show
Oh, we were just explaining that we're on the show
Oh, wow. Let's Yeah.
Oh, wow. Let's Yeah.
Oh, yeah, i love 'em.
Oh, yeah, i love 'em.
Oh, yeah, i recognize him
Oh, yeah, i recognize him
Oh, yes.
Oh, yes.
Oh, yes.
Oh, yes.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh. Great.
Oh. Great.
Oh. Oh, wow.
Oh. Oh, wow.
Oh. Okay.
Oh. Okay.
Oh. We haven't made love yet.
Oh. We haven't made love yet.
Oh...
Oh...
Ohh.
Ohh.
Okay, yeah.
Okay, yeah.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay. I'm sorry for the confusion.
Okay. I'm sorry for the confusion.
Okay. Let me just get my passport.
Okay. Let me just get my passport.
Okay. Um... Okay?
Okay. Um... Okay?
On the grounds that jargon loprax's offspring
On the grounds that jargon loprax's offspring
Oof!
Oof!
Ooh!
Ooh!
Ooh.
Ooh.
Or yours, i mean you are the one that started it.
Or yours, i mean you are the one that started it.
Originally it was a stop on the underground railroad.
Originally it was a stop on the underground railroad.
Over there in that barn, interviewing him.
Over there in that barn, interviewing him.
Papa... i love him.
Papa... i love him.
People smoke because they want,
People smoke because they want,
Perhaps this video will better explain.
Perhaps this video will better explain.
Pervert!
Pervert!
Please, do something.
Please, do something.
Please. Oh.
Please. Oh.
Plus you lose your freedom,
Plus you lose your freedom,
Pre Traumatic stress disorder.
Pre Traumatic stress disorder.
Pretty thick jungle, huh?
Pretty thick jungle, huh?
Psst, jon.
Psst, jon.
Really? Yeah.
Really? Yeah.
Right, i know.
Right, i know.
Right, right, okay.
Right, right, okay.
Right, right.
Right, right.
Right.
Right.
Right.
Right.
Right. How do you feel?
Right. How do you feel?
Rob?
Rob?
Rob?
Rob?
Rob. Rob.
Rob. Rob.
Roy, you're You're not bald at all.
Roy, you're You're not bald at all.
Seatbelt? Just go!
Seatbelt? Just go!
See the camera right there?
See the camera right there?
See ya, sucker.
See ya, sucker.
See, you can understand me now, right?
See, you can understand me now, right?
Send in the van!
Send in the van!
Senor shutterman, the army's coming!
Senor shutterman, the army's coming!
She's 15, you sick!
She's 15, you sick!
Shh.
Shh.
Shoot! Shoot! Shoot!
Shoot! Shoot! Shoot!
Show some consideration.
Show some consideration.
Si, muy bonita aqui.
Si, muy bonita aqui.
Si. As you gringos say, life is a fast lane.
Si. As you gringos say, life is a fast lane.
Sir, have you been drinking?
Sir, have you been drinking?
Sir, i'm not gonna tell you again.
Sir, i'm not gonna tell you again.
Sir, i'm sorry, you're gonna have to make your way
Sir, i'm sorry, you're gonna have to make your way
Sir, were you driving this van?
Sir, were you driving this van?
Sir, you cannot cross here. Okay.
Sir, you cannot cross here. Okay.
Sir, you got burned.
Sir, you got burned.
Sir?
Sir?
Sir. Really funny, jon
Sir. Really funny, jon
Sit down.
Sit down.
Smoking causes cancer, you know.
Smoking causes cancer, you know.
So because there was already a little italy
So because there was already a little italy
So how do you know that jesus smoked a pipe?
So how do you know that jesus smoked a pipe?
So if i jumped over here right now,
So if i jumped over here right now,
So just explain what you're doing,
So just explain what you're doing,
So now that you believe jesus smoked a pipe,
So now that you believe jesus smoked a pipe,
So pedestrians crossing on foot
So pedestrians crossing on foot
So tell us about your specific injury.
So tell us about your specific injury.
So the interview's over.
So the interview's over.
So this is the actual border. Yes, sir.
So this is the actual border. Yes, sir.
So this is the hallway that led to area 54?
So this is the hallway that led to area 54?
So we got you on the camera, so you got burned.
So we got you on the camera, so you got burned.
So you did not sustain your injury during an attack?
So you did not sustain your injury during an attack?
So you don't wanna play cash stall?
So you don't wanna play cash stall?
So you got burned.
So you got burned.
So you look a little bit better.
So you look a little bit better.
So you were scared of the idea of war.
So you were scared of the idea of war.
So you work for el manta blanca now?
So you work for el manta blanca now?
So, uh, what do you do, man?
So, uh, what do you do, man?
Something's definitely
Something's definitely
Something's definitely
Something's definitely
Something's happening, right?
Something's happening, right?
Sorry?
Sorry?
Sorry.
Sorry.
Sorry. Bang Bang
Sorry. Bang Bang
Sorry. What the matter with you?
Sorry. What the matter with you?
Sorry. It's
Sorry. It's
Sorry. It's just when cars go by,
Sorry. It's just when cars go by,
Soy mexicano. No.
Soy mexicano. No.
Sponsored by veterans against war.
Sponsored by veterans against war.
Star door!
Star door!
Star door.
Star door.
Still to come, a special "shame on me" report
Still to come, a special "shame on me" report
Still using a vhs.
Still using a vhs.
Stop talking, brigitte.
Stop talking, brigitte.
Take off your shirt.
Take off your shirt.
Tell me about it. Yeah.
Tell me about it. Yeah.
Thank you very much for talking with me.
Thank you very much for talking with me.
Thank you very much. No, thank you.
Thank you very much. No, thank you.
Thank you, timmy. Now go home.
Thank you, timmy. Now go home.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you. Yeah.
Thank you. Yeah.
Thanks, sport.
Thanks, sport.
Thanks.
Thanks.
Thanks.
Thanks.
That helicopter sound must not remind you of war,
That helicopter sound must not remind you of war,
That interview was, like, three hours long
That interview was, like, three hours long
That's a nice scarf.
That's a nice scarf.
That's awful.
That's awful.
That's correct. And that's how...
That's correct. And that's how...
That's him! The one on the van.
That's him! The one on the van.
That's interesting.
That's interesting.
That's not the point, the point is that
That's not the point, the point is that
That's, uh, not where you should put out your cigarette.
That's, uh, not where you should put out your cigarette.
The answer is yes.
The answer is yes.
The border!
The border!
The celebration? We're celebrating.
The celebration? We're celebrating.
The end of the world.
The end of the world.
The guy in the wheelchair. He's right in front
The guy in the wheelchair. He's right in front
The hieroglyphics tell us that the relic itself
The hieroglyphics tell us that the relic itself
The house is over here.
The house is over here.
The idea that we were on a top Secret military base
The idea that we were on a top Secret military base
The point is littering is disgusting,
The point is littering is disgusting,
The shroud?
The shroud?
The van is aligning itself with the star door.
The van is aligning itself with the star door.
The world is gonna end today?
The world is gonna end today?
Then i just ran away.
Then i just ran away.
There's no doubt in my mind
There's no doubt in my mind
There's thousands of cameras all over this city
There's thousands of cameras all over this city
Therefore, chief magistrate,
Therefore, chief magistrate,
They're great.
They're great.
This guy does interviews.
This guy does interviews.
This is a stove.
This is a stove.
This is bernie, my father.
This is bernie, my father.
This is boring.
This is boring.
This is it, no mercy.
This is it, no mercy.
This is my first one.
This is my first one.
This is serious! You shouldn't have driven.
This is serious! You shouldn't have driven.
This is the guy you come and see?
This is the guy you come and see?
This is the show you can't shoot here!
This is the show you can't shoot here!
This is the story of courage and strength
This is the story of courage and strength
This is what you do to me after i trusted you.
This is what you do to me after i trusted you.
This is you can't shoot here! So...
This is you can't shoot here! So...
This isn't a joke, jon!
This isn't a joke, jon!
This was bound to happen.
This was bound to happen.
Three minutes into the interview
Three minutes into the interview
Through that door, to the right.
Through that door, to the right.
Times have changed, huh?
Times have changed, huh?
To victory, huh?
To victory, huh?
Today, later Sixish or so.
Today, later Sixish or so.
Tom brokaw, how you holding up?
Tom brokaw, how you holding up?
Tonight on jon benjamin has a van...
Tonight on jon benjamin has a van...
Tonight on jon benjamin has a van...
Tonight on jon benjamin has a van...
Tonight on jon benjamin has a van...
Tonight on jon benjamin has a van...
Tonight on jon benjamin has a van...
Tonight on jon benjamin has a van...
Trish, i didn't realize it was your birthday today
Trish, i didn't realize it was your birthday today
Turn that fan off!
Turn that fan off!
Ugh! Ow.
Ugh! Ow.
Ugh.
Ugh.
Uh Huh.
Uh Huh.
Uh Oh.
Uh Oh.
Uh, but then fascism
Uh, but then fascism
Uh, i'm not sure.
Uh, i'm not sure.
Uh, i'm sorry, i really don't.
Uh, i'm sorry, i really don't.
Uh, no problem, greg, thank you for having me.
Uh, no problem, greg, thank you for having me.
Uh, yeah, i've been smokin' freedoms for years.
Uh, yeah, i've been smokin' freedoms for years.
Uh, yeah, these are they.
Uh, yeah, these are they.
Uh...
Uh...
Um, are you still wearing cologne?
Um, are you still wearing cologne?
Um, he has a pipe in his mouth.
Um, he has a pipe in his mouth.
Um, i I shouldn't.
Um, i I shouldn't.
Um, i think if i'm smoking,
Um, i think if i'm smoking,
Um, nino. Nino?
Um, nino. Nino?
Um, sure.
Um, sure.
Um, yeah.
Um, yeah.
Um...
Um...
Upon what grounds?
Upon what grounds?
Vamonos! Vamonos!
Vamonos! Vamonos!
Wait, what That's a joke, right?
Wait, what That's a joke, right?
Was it? Yeah. Oh, you have to go?
Was it? Yeah. Oh, you have to go?
We burned ya!
We burned ya!
We can't shoot there?
We can't shoot there?
We don't want to read your mail.
We don't want to read your mail.
We have information that other churches
We have information that other churches
We have spent the last 12 years trying to activate it,
We have spent the last 12 years trying to activate it,
We just burned you. You got burned.
We just burned you. You got burned.
We'll go on foot! You got blood on me!
We'll go on foot! You got blood on me!
We're doing the show
We're doing the show
We're going through!
We're going through!
We're gonna be enjoying it today
We're gonna be enjoying it today
We're presently on route to the secluded,
We're presently on route to the secluded,
We're shooting in places where you can't shoot.
We're shooting in places where you can't shoot.
We've been taping you all the way
We've been taping you all the way
Welcome.
Welcome.
Well, a 50th birthday isn't something a lady
Well, a 50th birthday isn't something a lady
Well, he came into the room.
Well, he came into the room.
Well, heh...
Well, heh...
Well, i didn't need to hear that,
Well, i didn't need to hear that,
Well, i do now.
Well, i do now.
Well, i do now.
Well, i do now.
Well, i guess what he's trying to get across is
Well, i guess what he's trying to get across is
Well, i I used to have more hair up on top going across,
Well, i I used to have more hair up on top going across,
Well, i mean, he did say they were getting squeezed, so...
Well, i mean, he did say they were getting squeezed, so...
Well, i was in his house, uh, interviewing his wife
Well, i was in his house, uh, interviewing his wife
Well, it actually started
Well, it actually started
Well, it is kind of a bad thing
Well, it is kind of a bad thing
Well, let me get
Well, let me get
Well, let's do it. Mm.
Well, let's do it. Mm.
Well, let's see sarah.
Well, let's see sarah.
Well, not exactly.
Well, not exactly.
Well, that sort of means the same thing.
Well, that sort of means the same thing.
Well, that's not nice.
Well, that's not nice.
Well, that's ridiculous.
Well, that's ridiculous.
Well, there is much evidence
Well, there is much evidence
Well, there were the four predictions last year,
Well, there were the four predictions last year,
Well, to each his own.
Well, to each his own.
Well, um, i don't know if you knew this
Well, um, i don't know if you knew this
Well, we bonded over being bald.
Well, we bonded over being bald.
Wha I don't No.
Wha I don't No.
What are you doing here?
What are you doing here?
What are you talking about?
What are you talking about?
What do you guys want, chinese?
What do you guys want, chinese?
What does that mean?
What does that mean?
What i'm trying to say is,
What i'm trying to say is,
What is that? Drug gang.
What is that? Drug gang.
What is this place?
What is this place?
What joke?
What joke?
What was area 54?
What was area 54?
What?
What?
What?
What?
What?
What?
What?
What?
What?
What?
What?
What?
What?
What?
What?
What?
What?
What?
What? That i wasn't drinking.
What? That i wasn't drinking.
What? We don't have much time!
What? We don't have much time!
What? You have to come with us.
What? You have to come with us.
What? What's going on? Please come with us.
What? What's going on? Please come with us.
What's happening, rocco?
What's happening, rocco?
What's that all about?
What's that all about?
When did you start smoking?
When did you start smoking?
When you go into the shower, you have to take it off.
When you go into the shower, you have to take it off.
Where were you when you saw him?
Where were you when you saw him?
Who are those people?
Who are those people?
Who is this?
Who is this?
Who? You can't shoot here!
Who? You can't shoot here!
Whoo!
Whoo!
Whoo!
Whoo!
Why are you chasing me?
Why are you chasing me?
Why not, right?
Why not, right?
Why would you build a road in front of a star door, right?
Why would you build a road in front of a star door, right?
Why would you do that?!
Why would you do that?!
Why? What'd i do? Right now, sir.
Why? What'd i do? Right now, sir.
Why'd i get involved in a turf war between
Why'd i get involved in a turf war between
Will you move? It's jamming.
Will you move? It's jamming.
With a history spanning back over a century,
With a history spanning back over a century,
With all due respect, sir.
With all due respect, sir.
With my toupees, you will look more realistic,
With my toupees, you will look more realistic,
Wow, that's incredible.
Wow, that's incredible.
Wow. That's amazing.
Wow. That's amazing.
Wow. You really went all out this time, rocco.
Wow. You really went all out this time, rocco.
Yeah, but they're not you got burned cameras.
Yeah, but they're not you got burned cameras.
Yeah, every morning.
Yeah, every morning.
Yeah, go ahead, i'm sorry.
Yeah, go ahead, i'm sorry.
Yeah, how are your new friends?
Yeah, how are your new friends?
Yeah, how you doin', anderson cooper?
Yeah, how you doin', anderson cooper?
Yeah, hurry.
Yeah, hurry.
Yeah, i heard.
Yeah, i heard.
Yeah, i know, women are awful.
Yeah, i know, women are awful.
Yeah, i know.
Yeah, i know.
Yeah, i mean, that's
Yeah, i mean, that's
Yeah, it's a peace offering i guess.
Yeah, it's a peace offering i guess.
Yeah, kramer.
Yeah, kramer.
Yeah, right, right.
Yeah, right, right.
Yeah, sure. Thank you.
Yeah, sure. Thank you.
Yeah, that sounds good. Yeah, let's get dumplings.
Yeah, that sounds good. Yeah, let's get dumplings.
Yeah, that's right. Oh, my god, really?
Yeah, that's right. Oh, my god, really?
Yeah, yeah, the wife emailed me.
Yeah, yeah, the wife emailed me.
Yeah! Yeah!
Yeah! Yeah!
Yeah?
Yeah?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah. For instance...
Yeah. For instance...
Yeah. But i'm not bald.
Yeah. But i'm not bald.
Yeah. Look, i wanna apologize for doing the joke
Yeah. Look, i wanna apologize for doing the joke
Yeah. Rocco's holy moley.
Yeah. Rocco's holy moley.
Yes, i do.
Yes, i do.
Yes, it was, uh, right here on the left.
Yes, it was, uh, right here on the left.
Yes, sir. Wow.
Yes, sir. Wow.
Yes, that's how
Yes, that's how
Yes, that's why.
Yes, that's why.
Yes, the shroud.
Yes, the shroud.
Yes. Silly to
Yes. Silly to
You are such a! You idiot, shut up!
You are such a! You idiot, shut up!
You can win $100 if you answer all the questions
You can win $100 if you answer all the questions
You can't what? You can't shoot in here.
You can't what? You can't shoot in here.
You didn't go to afghanistan?
You didn't go to afghanistan?
You don't smoke.
You don't smoke.
You don't smoke.
You don't smoke.
You got nothing in common with them.
You got nothing in common with them.
You have a mole.
You have a mole.
You have a second to discuss the issue of gay marriage?
You have a second to discuss the issue of gay marriage?
You heard me.
You heard me.
You know i do. We have the best red wine.
You know i do. We have the best red wine.
You know what, i will.
You know what, i will.
You know what?
You know what?
You know, i felt it would have been completely awkward
You know, i felt it would have been completely awkward
You lied to me, you had me deliver a bomb.
You lied to me, you had me deliver a bomb.
You lost your voice from screaming?
You lost your voice from screaming?
You make your own barbecue sauce?
You make your own barbecue sauce?
You mean somebody took my picture?
You mean somebody took my picture?
You out your god damn mind?
You out your god damn mind?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
You say that like it's a bad thing.
You see, juan...
You see, juan...
You see, juan...
You see, juan...
You should have told me you were 15.
You should have told me you were 15.
You should have told me you were 15.
You should have told me you were 15.
You tell nino he's lucky
You tell nino he's lucky
You tell nino shut is mouth!
You tell nino shut is mouth!
You, man! What the?!
You, man! What the?!
You'll get the opportunity to look a little bit better.
You'll get the opportunity to look a little bit better.
You're absolutely right, jon.
You're absolutely right, jon.
You're gonna be okay, jon.
You're gonna be okay, jon.
You're gonna miss 'em, aren't you?
You're gonna miss 'em, aren't you?
You're hit!
You're hit!
You're on the show you got burned.
You're on the show you got burned.
You're smoking?
You're smoking?
Your eyes...
Your eyes...
Your honor, we request a mercy cube.
Your honor, we request a mercy cube.
'Cause that was When i left last night
'Cause that was When i left last night
'Cause you were never there.
'Cause you were never there.
'Cause you're not allowed to shoot... in here.
'Cause you're not allowed to shoot... in here.
"Let this glutton be...
"Let this glutton be...
"My name is sarah. " Yeah, "my name is sarah. "
"My name is sarah. " Yeah, "my name is sarah. "
"Pity the world!
"Pity the world!
[Laughs
[Laughs
15 minutes in, greg manipulates his vision
15 minutes in, greg manipulates his vision

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