Futurama - Season 2 Edit

A Bavarian cream dog that's also self microwaving.

A chaotic time when his behavior is dictated...

A charity luncheon for the Met.

A doctor, honey.

A fashionable tank top, and designer boots...

A fight to the death.

A gentleman always sells a lady a car first.

A ha!

A puppy?

A VIP tour of the Slurm factory.

A weekend at one of those fancy spas.

A what? You know. A coward.

A woodpecker? Probably your roommate.

About anyone else...

About respecting other people's feelings after all.

According to his temperature gauge, which you should use next time

Actually, through the miracle of science..

Add some child Like delight

After you cook it.

Ah Ha!

Ah, come here, precious.

Ah, it's just a simple broken fang.

Ah, my old scuttling grounds.

Ah, what is this? The Middle Ages?

Ah.

Ah... futuristic.

Ah... much better.

Aha!

Aha! Bender, one. Toilet, zero.

Ahh.

Alien death cannons, clogging them with wreckage.

Alien saucers continue to rain destruction upon Earth.

All gone. Can I drive?

All he handed in was a paper smeared with feces. He tied with Fry.

All My Circuits will return after a word

All right, all right.

All right, all right. I'll bust you out.

All right, but that ass is gonna blow, and when it does...

All right, I'm coming.

All right, scum wads. This one's for Bender's cocktail.

All right! But not too many people. I want to keep it small.

All right! Whammy Wham Wham Wazzle!

All right. Spare me your life story.

All robots ' patriotism circuits will be activated.

All set.

All that is ours...

All this exposure to radiation is making me thirsty.

Allowed people to view broadcast programs in their own homes?

Also whether abbreviations count in Scrabble.

Although, on the other hand .

Am I right, men?

Amy made Valentine's plans with some goon...

Amy, take off these rubber bands..

Amy's rich, she's probably got other characteristics...

And a regulation two Story panty Raid ladder.

And a Toblerone.

And action.

And being self Reliant

And congratulations again on winning the contest.

And crammed 58 humans into a phone booth.

And cut!

And do you know why?

And ever since then...

And for the love of God, don't let it fall into the wrong hands.

And get ready for the show of a lifetime.

And good old American feces.

And handsome they are.

And her compellingly short garment!

And I could afford it all...

And I could be an acting coach!

And I had a piece of toast.

And I still barely felt anything.

And I... owe it to our race...

And I'll be forced to serve as Grand Marshal of a parade honoring them.

And I'll show you how normal I am.

And I'm feeling nosy and opinionated.

And if you survive, we'll make sweet love.

And it's all thanks to Bender.

And it's ready for my admiring public.

And let Guenter decide.

And mix it with glacial spring water

And over here is our church.

And Pepper gets the suppository.

And rip her shirt a little.

And so we say good bye...

And start thinking of the things that you want...

And tell her you have them.

And that doesn't even make sense.

And that'll allow Bender to feel other people's emotions?

And the lies upon lies...

And the winner is

And the winner of the big car race is Hot Rod Zoidberg!

And then you threw an octopus at my window.

And this time if someone's going to jump out of it...

And though a woman has come between us, I say we'll always remain friends.

And why is Slurm pouring into this sewer?

And you have inoperable cancer.

And you have to have a big clambake and cook him!

And you, Doctor?

And you'll be the alcoholic, foul Mouthed

And, Amy, I'm sorry I took your watch.

And, Bender, your beer belly's so big...

And... Look, Zoidberg...

Anger, huh?

Another job well done.

Anytime. I enjoyed hanging out.

Anyway, it's nice to have my own body back.

Are going to the backseat of his car for coffee.

Are you all right?

Are you crazy?

Are you familiar with my friend Al Gore?

Are you suffering from internal parasites?

Are you the moose Head fumigator?

Aren't you upset at all?

As a friend.

As a monkey, I was so dumb I tried to wear a hat on my butt.

As a result, we will not destroy your planet.

As I was saying, mankind would sooner perish...

As I'm also having a hot, naked affair with the foreman of this jury.

As it's an emergency

As we sail down the Slurm, you'll see our mixologists at work.

Ask her to mate with me.

Asking questions in school ls a great way to learn

At least you didn't smell as bad as them.

At the bottling plant on Wormulon.

At the end of the episode, everything is right back to normal.

Attention, McNeal. Your unexpected marriage plan scares us.

Aw, geez, let's just pray...

Aw, he's holding a spoon.

Aw, look how cuddly he looks in his new cape.

Aw, somebody likes snouts.

Aw.

Aww!

B: I get tongue Tied in front of an audience armed with death rays.

Babes? Mr. McKenzie?

Back in 1 999, Single Female Lawyer's season finale

Back. Back.

Banana! Banana!

Banking industry regulator.

Be forewarned:

Because my face was covered with barnacles?

Because they look kind of secret. Enough!

Because tomorrow, I will be depositing my jelly...

Because your emotions made him feel bad.

Beer. I would think.

Before genetic engineering.

Before I kill myself.

Before someone flushes another guitar string.

Before the party, you're in for a funderful treat.

Behold. When El Chupanibre comes for the..."virgin..."

Bender could feel exactly what I feel.

Bender from Bending State? Wow! You're a legend around here!

Bender is back.

Bender, do something.

Bender, how could you flush Nibbler down the toilet?

Bender, mon, lie yourself down.

Bender, romance isn't about money.

Bender, what's going...

Bender, what's wrong? I'm sick.

Bender, you didn't have to come down here.

Bender, you won't believe this...

Bender? Bender?!

Bender...

Bender's going to be killed!

Besides, you're not like other monkeys. You've got the hat.

Bet you weren't expecting that one, Calculon!

Between a life without sex and a gruesome death?

Bigger! Bigger!

Bingo!

Bingo! Oh, mama!

Bird eggs. Animal slices.

Bite my red Hot glowing ass! Wait a minute.

Bite my shiny, metal ass. You couldn't afford it, honey.

Blecch!

Boring. Let's hear about Walter Mondale already.

Boy, this a/c is incredible. I better turn on the heater too.

Brilliant deduction! You're a credit to your species.

But There'll be other parties

But at the same time...

But do you think maybe...

But Guenter's better off being intelligent. Tell him, Leela.

But I don't care if your skin's red or tan or Chinese.

But I don't see why we keep this ticking time bomb around...

But I don't want her!

But I don't want her!

But I shall attract one this afternoon...

But I think I actually learned something from him.

But I won't let you die.

But if he's anything like the common tree..

But if it's not too much trouble, when it comes to the ninth round...

But is squeezing each other's brains out...

But it doesn't make me happy.

But it is a tradition nonetheless!

But it's a fight to the death!

But jelly isn't everything.

But luckily he knocked one of my teeth out.

But perhaps your civilization...

But seeing my parents act like that

But she'll crush you like a worm. A smaller worm.

But she's a commoner. Her Slurm will taste foul.

But she's not.

But the empathy chip burned out.

But this is a unisex bathroom! Overruled, counselor.

But we learned who the real animal was today.

But we've all seen Zapp Brannigan's web page.

But what about your super Intelligence?

But what is it really? That's not for you to know.

But when it comes to medicine?

But you've become a fat sack of crap.

But, more importantly, it's a reason to try out my latest invention.

By God, I'll enroll at Mars University and drop out all over again!

By the tiny brain in his rump.

By the way, when is that scheduled? Never!

Came down here to find our pet, Nibbler.

Came from the blowhole of that hideous alien?

Camera one!

Camera three!

Camera two!

Can finally feel my pain.

Can I interest you in some surf and turf?

Can we have our free Slurm?

Cannot be taken back.

Check off what you look for in a mate.

Checking for color and bouquet.

Cheese it!

Cheese it!

Cheese it!

Chipped a fang.

Chrissy, we seem to be hitting it off.

Classmate! What you taking?

Claw Plock, Claw Plock, Claw Plock!

Clever things make people feel stupid.

Close enough. Come on in. Thanks! Here's your finger back.

Coed steam rooms.

Come in, Gary. I'll just be another 20 minutes!

Come in.

Come on in, roomie!

Come on, baby!

Come on, everyone! Keg party in Robot House!

Come on, Fry!

Come on, I passed it right to you!

Come on, let's all sing "Happy Birthday."

Come on, pet him and make up.

Come on, we're taking you pigs to the gym.

Come to daddy, sweetie ookums.

Come to Europa with us. We can't be alone.

Computer dating. Like pimping, but you rarely say upside your head.

Cool how we think alike, and junk.

Cool! Ow!

Could I have some Slurm?

Could you repeat that last p ?

Could you repeat that last part?

Counselor, it's unethical to sleep with your client.

Crashed into your uninsured home.

Crocodile.

Crocodiles.

Damage report!

Damn, it's too small.

Damn.

Daylight and everything.

Deep down I knew it might one day help me save the world.

Did someone say something about a free meal?

Did you round up our dates at the bus station?

Did you see those other guys?

Didn't hurt that time.

Didn't I, Leela? Didn't I?

Die with dignity!

Disemboweling in your species...

Do I ask her to mate now?

Do you have anything looser around the thorax?

Does anyone have a camera? Right here.

Don't be jealous.

Don't stop now.

Don't take this the wrong way, but you don't seem educated.

Don't worry, it gets wider after about a mile.

Don't worry, you'll be fine. Oh, boy.

Don't yell at Nibbler like that.

Dr. Zoidberg is my friend...

Dr. Zoidberg said I should hold these while he's gone.

Dr. Zoidberg, it's not how it looks.

Dr. Zoidberg, that doesn't make sense, but okay.

Dr. Zoidberg, this is madness!

Dr. Zoidberg, what's that jazz on your head?

Dr. Zoidberg.

Dry woven reeds.

Due to exposure to toxic waste and radioactive runoff...

Due to technical difficulties...

Due to your hot, naked affair with the foreman. How do you plead?

During the second coming of Jesus.

Edna, have you anything to say before begins the Claw Plock?

Edna, it's me, Zoidberg.

Edna!

Edna?

Edna?

Edna.

Eh, it's nothing a lawsuit won't cure!

Eh.

El Chupanibre comes soon.

El Chupanibre? What's that?

El Chupanibre.

Encrusted with jewels.

Engage your mandibles and kiss me.

English, please?

Enjoy the tour, dudes!

Enough with the questions. More weight!

Epsilon Rho Rho.

Especially after I made a complete eel out of myself.

Eureka! The hat goes on the head! It's all so obvious now!

Even me?

Even Sean.

Everybody was doing it. I just wanted to be popular.

Everyone is gone!

Everyone knows 20th Century colleges were really expensive daycare centers.

Everyone's too polite to say you're covered with bed sores.

Everything always does.

Everything worked out great, thanks to Bender.

Evidently not.

Ew!

Excellent, excellent.

Excuse me, did you say 10: 15 to Nutley?

Face it, I'm a prize catch. I'm pulling down delivery boy money.

Far be it from me to question your stupid civilization...

Farewell.

Faster!

Fat Bot! No!

Fate is cruel and unyielding, and what must be, must be.

Fight to the death over matters of honor.

Fighting for her client

Fine. I'll swim around and drink as much as I want.

Fine. We'll have rack of Nibbler.

Follow me.

Fool me eight or more times, shame on me.

Fool me seven times, shame on you.

For five days unless we see McNeal at 9:00 p.M. Tomorrow.

For reasons beyond mating?

For Slurms. For Slurms.

For some reason, I'm frisky as a squid on Tuesday.

For the claw of the beautiful Edna!

For the legend of El Chupanibre.

For you see, I'm dying. Cough, then fall over dead.

For you, my friend? Anything.

For your information, it's because he's hideous.

Forget about it.

Found you!

Four score and 1145 years ago...

Fraternities, on your marks.

French?

Fresh from his bloody triumph over the Gandhi Nebula pacifists

From a gazelle kick this morning...

From our spring water generator.

From Slurm. It's addictive!

From this day forth, Robot House is on dodecatupple Secret probation!

Fry and I have fallen in love and we're going to mate tomorrow.

Fry and Zoidberg shall fight to the death...

Fry, are you all right?

Fry, do you even understand...

Fry, having guessed what animal I was thinking of...

Fry, I challenge you to Claw Plock.

Fry, I've never asked you for anything before...

Fry, it's been years since medical school...

Fry, Leela and Bender are missing.

Fry, look what you did. She won't shut up.

Fry, look who I found! It's Petunia, your dream girl!

Fry, that doesn't make sense.

Fry, untie us!

Fry!

Fry!

Fry!

Fry!

Fry! Although I suppose we could go for a walk on the beach.

Fry? Amy? Put your pants back on! I need a stapler!

Fry? Are you all right?

Futurama is brought to you by...

Gather 'round ol' Bender...

Gather 'round, children, to hear the legend of Bender.

Gather 'round, children...

Get a load of that!

Get down on all fours and lick boot. Give our alien masters whatever they

Get it?

Get off! Get off!

Get ready, Fry.

Get that stupid chip out of me...

Getting back to the matter . If it please the court .

Give it to me straight, Doctor. Don't sugarcoat it.

Give it to me straight, Professor.

Give me that.

Give me the script.

Give up the rock!

Give us McNeal or we'll waste your cities with our anti Monument laser.

Give us McNeal! That was McNeal.

Glagnar's Human Rinds.

Go ahead. I got a lot of work to do.

God bless America.

God, you're alive!

Good news. We've got a very special delivery today.

Good night, losers.

Good old Coney lsland College. Go Whitefish!

Good one, Chet.

Good work, everyone. The mother ship is destroyed.

Good work. You have pleased your queen.

Good work. You have pleased your queen.

Got it!

Grab on!

Gracias.

Grandpa 's making up stories again.

Grunka Lunka dunkity darned guards Shut up.

Grunka Lunka dunkity dasis

Grunka Lunka dunkity dinkredient

Grunka Lunka dunkity doo

Grunka Lunka Lunka dunkity dot

Guenter, take the hat. No, the banana! The banana!

Guenter, you're alive! I guess the hat broke my fall.

Guenter's intelligence lies in his electronium hat.

Gunculon!

Hang on, Nibbler!

Happy birthday, young Nibbler.

Happy birthday!

Happy.

Happy. I like this feeling.

Hard ass. I heard that.

Have you looked in a mirror lately?

Have you seen my sombrero?

Having lots of sex Huh?

He belongs in the wild, or the circus on a tiny tricycle.

He better be. That's why we pay him, right?

He got flushed down the toilet.

He must be El Chupanibre.

He only flushed himself...

He probably came through here.

He stole most of the world's monuments

He was so cute.

He was so sweet.

He will be snared by this rope trap.

He would never hurt people.

He'll be floating upside down by morning.

He'll choose if he wants to be intelligent or a mindless animal.

He's coming out of...

He's five.

He's got male jelly coming out the wazoo.

He's like a father.

He's my experiment, the top Secret contents of this stinking crate.

He's not your father. That guy in the punch bowl was your father.

He's running a fever of 900 degrees.

He's so talented.

He's the lobster equivalent of Fry.

He's the original party worm!

Hell, no!

Hello, Fry.

Hello? Septuple A?

Help us, Guenter!

Help! Help!

Help! I can't swim!

Her caviar is on your neck!

Here he is! Come and get him.

Here I come! Let me just One more taste.

Here the Grunka Lunkas are inducing Wumpus berries

Here we are! Monument Beach!

Here, you drive.

Here's hoping.

Hey, aren't you supposed to be eating our brains?

Hey, can't you see I'm using the toilet?

Hey, dean, nice Looking model. You keep away from it!

Hey, dudes! You can win a chance to party with me

Hey, handsome. Is there room in there for two?

Hey, hey!

Hey, I can get any girl I want, anytime I want.

Hey, I got a busted ass here!

Hey, I wonder if these guys are here to watch the erotic display too.

Hey, it's your fault.

Hey, it's your fault.

Hey, later you want to drive out to Europa?

Hey, Leela, look who's the superstud.

Hey, look at Nibbler!

Hey, look! The disgusting little men are starting to sing.

Hey, looks like Zoidberg's finally coming out of his shell.

Hey, that's not that bad.

Hey, what are these rings in Nibbler's fang?

Hey, what the hell are you doing with my head?

Hey, who's up for a nice hot steam?

Hey, yeah.

Hey, you know what would cheer you up?

Hey!

Hey!

Hey! What's with the flying jerks?

Hey! You like bananas?

Hiney, you say. With your testimony

Hmm, oh ho! A ha!

Hmm, sewers.

Hmm, somebody must have turned down the gravity.

Hmm! I've heard that line before.

Hmm.

Hmm. According to this map, the only way out is through...

Hmm. This "love" intrigues me.

Hmm...

Honey unit, I'm home! Monique!

Honey?

Hooray!

Hooray!

How about 8:00?

How about we all party one last time for him?

How can you tell down here?

How could they know about a show from 1 000 years ago?

How dare you make me feel anger...

How do I look?

How is it? It varies from person to person.

How much more for Phi Beta Kappa? How much you got?

How was your day?

How was your day?

How will I ever get rid of my male jelly now?

How would you feel if I flushed Fry down the toilet?

How's the corpse? Hooked up okay?

How's them eats? Don't mind if I do.

Huh?

Huh?

Huh. Looks like Bender learned an important lesson...

Humans really could mutate down there...

Hurry! What's happening?

Hush, you romantic fool.

I am Lure of the planet Omicron Persei Eight.

I am normal.

I asked me for Valentine's Day off. I was in no mood for my shenanigans.

I believe the answer is "television. "

I burned my finger.

I call this the F Ray.

I can attract all sorts of women.

I can't live another minute without poor, sweet Nibbler.

I can't see. Are we boned? Yeah, we're boned.

I can't stop eating this delicious ooze.

I can't.

I carry more eggs than any other female...

I choose my own claws.

I could fire my staff and hire Grunka Lunkas at half the cost?

I could fit if I didn't have these damn arms.

I could make the costumes.

I could make up an ending we'd act out.

I couldn't do that to the professor. I'm his prize experiment.

I couldn't find it after the crash.

I couldn't stand it any longer. L...

I couldn't tell him. It's fin fungus.

I demand to know what happened to the plucky lawyer

I demand you restore my buttocks to their former glory!

I deserve the same respect other college dropouts get.

I didn't come here to see any activity involving two guys.

I didn't hear you. I was using this to look inside of things.

I do my job, there's Amy.

I do, but I don't know how to make them stop!

I do.

I don't eat bananas. I prefer banana Flavored energy bars made from tofu.

I don't know yet...

I don't know. What are you teaching?

I don't like you.

I don't mean to nitpick, Super Doc...

I don't pay you to sing. You just used your bathroom break.

I don't see anyone kissing it!

I feel a little tipsy

I feel relieved that I'm cuter than her.

I feel slightly less miserable already.

I feel terrible.

I find it offensive.

I go to the candy machine, there's Amy.

I got all C's!

I got her number! How do you like them bananas?

I got your hookup. My fee's 500 bucks, but seeing how it's you...

I gotta catch my bus back to Nutley.

I gotta find that golden bottle cap.

I guess we'd better go down into the sewers and look for him.

I guess we'd better go down into the sewers and look for him.

I guess we're two different people.

I had fun. If I ever feel Ionely...

I hate that rodent! He's my most important experiment.

I have a scheme so deviously clever that I...

I have a special surprise for you.

I have an idea! Let's go out for ice cream.

I have an old five Megawatt broadcasting tower.

I have no idea.

I have the energy to get myself another beer.

I have three arms.

I have to get back to the one thing

I haven 't killed him yet. I can 't go it alone.

I haven't eaten since Tuesday.

I heard you went off and became a rich doctor.

I hereby return to my Single Female Lawyer career

I installed bumpers to reduce the risk of butt failure.

I just came to tell you that Zoidberg's really great.

I just want to say that today I got up...

I just want to talk.

I know this.

I know Zoidberg's magical words were really yours.

I know, but I just missed Nibbler so much.

I learned to feel things I've never felt before...

I like those odds.

I like you as a friend. But we're spending too much time together.

I love every living creature.

I love the future!

I love you, Bender.

I love you, Fry!

I love you, too.

I made it up so no student would dare take it.

I managed to keep your head alive with some quick surgery.

I may not know from emotions...

I mean, thank God you're alive!

I miss Nibbler.

I move for a mistrial

I must say, Amy, you're all made up. Just like Fry's date. Get it?

I need to tinker in it.

I never should have thrown out the manual.

I never want to see another can of Slurm again. I'm thirsty!

I order every available ship to report for duty.

I owe it all to you.

I prefer programs of the genre "World's Blankiest Blank. "

I pretend to steal your girl, you punch me, I go down

I said harmless, not armless.

I said pet him.

I saw the first 30 seconds of that episode.

I say I'm giving up the law! And I'm giving up being single!

I say, Robot House.

I say! You've damaged our servants' quarters. And our servants!

I say.

I see some movement. I think it's him.

I see you don't care if people question your sexual orientation.

I see you've met Guenter. You know each other?

I should think so. Although last time aliens invaded

I sleep with Amy, there's Amy.

I tell you, being here really takes me back to my college days.

I think I'll stay here.

I thought Amy could come to my place for coffee.

I thought you were the robot. Nope. Human.

I told him to go back to the jungle.

I understood the word "hat. "

I used to hang out here as a larva.

I used to spit at stuff in the 20th century.

I volunteer.

I want the tactile pleasure of chopping him right here, in the gonads.

I want to be a moderately intelligent monkey who wears a suit.

I was curious about the guards.

I was miserable as a genius.

I was really having fun. If that's how you feel.

I was wondering if maybe...

I was wondering where I put that.

I wish I could believe that.

I wish just once...

I wish Slurms McKenzie were here to enjoy this.

I won!

I won't fight. I'm a conscientious objector.

I wonder why Dr. Zoidberg is acting this way?

I wouldn't feel so bad...

I'd be cuddly, too, if someone gave me a new cape.

I'd kiss you but I lost my teeth.

I'd like some of that.

I'd like to propose a toast to... Coat check #84.

I'd like you to meet my parents, Leo and lnes.

I'd love to take a whack at you...

I'd rather live in a crate than share a room with this dork.

I'll be a science Fiction hero, like Uhura or Captain Janeway or Xena.

I'll be waiting!

I'll do it.

I'll fix it for you.

I'll get my coat. Let's go, Bender.

I'll get the water boiling.

I'll have a look, but I'm an expert on humans, not robots.

I'll have to ask my manager.

I'll just ask those people for directions.

I'll just have everything on the menu.

I'll just turn the wheel to maximum fastness.

I'll lend you this.

I'll make you a cake you'll never forget.

I'll only have to remember one phone number. Shake hands. Make up.

I'll pet him with both hands!

I'll pet him.

I'll run it through our high speed Romance A Logical Datafier.

I'll save us!

I'll save you the only way I know how. By partying!

I'll save you, Nibbler.

I'll see you during the recess.

I'll take care of this.

I'll take care of this.

I'll take my chances.

I'll take one.

I'll take this suit to the decontaminators.

I'll try not to interfere in your life.

I'm 40% zinc. Then Echinacea or St. John's wort.

I'm a doctor!

I'm a highly desirable male, groaning with jelly...

I'm afraid so.

I'm an expert at not caring.

I'm at the end of my rope.

I'm beginning to think there'll be no forced mating at all.

I'm confused, Fry.

I'm experiencing a powerful yearning to...

I'm feeling a strange new emotion.

I'm feeling less nuts, thank you..

I'm from the 20th century. Ask me anything.

I'm Gearshift, chapter president.

I'm giving nine to two, on Zoidberg...

I'm glad you made it, because in honor of Parents' Weekend

I'm Glurmo, your guide to the splendtacular Slurm factory.

I'm going to go eat a bucket of ice cream.

I'm going to go work out with the Nautilus.

I'm going to go work out with the Nautilus.

I'm going to rip your swim bladder out and show it to you.

I'm gonna go lie down.

I'm happy Bender...

I'm in love!

I'm in the Astro Afro Antarctico Amerasian Auto Association.

I'm installing an "empathy chip."

I'm just too busy.

I'm Malfunctioning Eddie...

I'm never going 1 2 minutes without a Slurm again.

I'm not Bender. I'm Fry.

I'm not mopey.

I'm not your grandpa. You're my uncle from the year 2000.

I'm overcome with... feelings.

I'm partied out. All I want is to stay home and rent videos.

I'm pretty good.

I'm simply looking for a female swollen with eggs...

I'm so glad we could admit Amy

I'm so lonely.

I'm so tired of partying. So very tired.

I'm sorry, but it is.

I'm sorry, Zoidberg...

I'm staying out of this. Now here's my opinion.

I'm taking my new car to Mercury. Wanna come?

I'm terrible at parallel parking.

I'm thirsty. Grab my feet and dunk my head in.

I'm too scared.

I'm Victor, and I know many things about the art of unloading fine cars...

I've been known by the name of Honest Bender.

I've got a date. She's coming.

I've got to powder my mouth flaps.

I've never seen anyone so addicted.

I've performed a few mercy killings.

If Bender just understood the pain he caused me.

If I didn't have to feed that stupid Nibbler.

If I was going to do it with a big, freaky mud bug...

If I weren't so desperately poor.

If it isn't my favorite head on Amy's body: Fry!

If only we could know which can had the winning bottle cap.

If she wants to be taken seriously, why not tear the judge's head off?

If the legend is true...

If there's an alien out there I can 't kill

If they don't see a TV show about some bimbo lawyer?

If they hope to see a TV show that hasn't existed for 1 000 years

If we'll be blown to bits, we'll do it it in the comfort of our home.

If we're not seeing each other, can I get another date for Valentine's Day?

If you care about Nibbler, stop caring about him.

If you care about the case, you should sleep with me.

If you catch my drift.

If you disrupt the mating dance...

If you don't stop fighting, I'll have you both neutered.

If you have no ship, secure a weapon. Fire wildly in the air.