Slackers (2002) Edit

A local, huh? Looks like I'm gonna be making a visit to the Patton's house.

A moment where everything makes sense.

A moment where everything seems right and good...

A picture I let the boys

About a billion Alpha Centaurians.

Actually, that appointment's no longer on the books.

Actually, you know what? Can I talk to you about something?

After today's scam.

Airline pilot.

All I want is to take the midterm.

All right, boys. We've done this before. Let's do it again.

All right, cool. We'll find you.

All right, I have to go now.

All right, there's a study group Wednesday nights.

All right?

All runners cross the street!

Allow me to refreshyour memory.

Alone we were just a couple of freshman cheaters...

Am a professional, commercial...

And "bustinî caps in whitey."

And any mortal man who would try to court her...

And be so rich that you're gonna love me forever.

And before long they change you.

And don't let me hurt you just by accident

And everything's gonna be okay.

And here we were, 48 days away from a diploma...

And I felt like I was left out.

And I hate her completely.

And I know that you like me.

And I think that it's important that I say it out of the cage.

And I told her I cheated and I told her I loved her.

And I want you to give him all the time he needs.

And I'm gonna get a job at Stockton, Upright & Falk...

And if you're done trying to hide the baloney pony...

And it opened my eyes. I gotta be with Angela.

And never plans to.

And no one no one...

And not what's in the textbook.

And now I got a little movie of him "f" ing her.

And now, after this morning, we had our very own supply.

And our midterm...

And screaming and screaming and screaming...

And screaming and screaming.

And then it just so happens that they walk in when I'm sucking on her nipple.

And there's no angle. And there's definitely no scam.

And to think, I learned how to be a better man...

And transforms itself in to the most awesome sight in the universe.

And we're going to have a little talk, okay?

And we're gonna have sex in my bedroom

And we're grownups, so we don't argue over seats. Why don't we go over there.

And where have you been hiding all this time, my little monkey?

And worst of all, you're a whore!

And you are gonna let him take it at your desk.

And you know what? I love you.

And you may leave. I don't wanna see you anymore.

And you, you may have some...

And you're going to go out there...

Angela, I didn't do anything like that.

Angela, I feel really bad about what happened today with the bums.

Angela, I like you as a friend.

Angela, please, baby, please.

Angela, you see? I told you he was violent! Look!

Angela? Weird!

Angela's not a bitch!

Are you busy with something?

Are you fucking insane? This is a major breach of security.

Are you gettin' the special tingle from this boy?

Are you kidding? It took four years to build this place. This place is great.

As my minions pass out the test booklets.

At this school, if you can't pass a foreign language exam...

Back on up, slick.

Bag your own bitches.

Beautiful! All right! You're looking good!

Because I'm sorry. I just thought that

Because of her smile.

Because of the way she smiles.

Because the guy that I like is your friend Dave.

Because the third one is probably rifling through your shit.

Because when I close my eyes all I see is her face laughing and moving...

Been using a new shampoo?

Begin now.

Begins now.

Besides the fact that she's beautiful, smart and funny, how do you know?

Besides, maybe he's good in bed. The little ones always are. Come on.

Bittersweet cacophony

Blue eyes, honesty...

Boobies, boobies.

Boys, to a very successful operation. Possibly one of our last.

But certainly clever in your ways.

But he did have good taste in women.

But how many decoupage gifts can you receive?

But I just can't.

But I'm really not comfortable just talking to a girl.

But it wasn't your fate to be with her.

But some of us could use some study time.

But still, guys like me, Sam and Jeff...

But that's something I want to work on with just her, me and her together...

But together we were dangerous.

But wait,you say. How did we get Ethan's documents?

But you didn't fuck up so much as you fucked up.

But you hold the key

But, I just gotta say, that was really moving.

But, I mean, look at her.

But, you know, if you wanted to go to a law school, for instance...

Can shoot you down because a woman one time...

Can we help you with something, guy?

Can you believe that?

Can you explain that?

Can you see I'm having a god damn conversation?

Check out Ethan's schedule for me. Where is he now?

Child like wonder, maturity...

Clear!

Come and fuck me, baby

Come forward with your papers immediately.

Come here, then.

Come here. Give me a hug. Got nothing but love for you.

Come on!

Come on.

Dave, come on.

Dave, could you talk to Angela for me?

Dave, is this true? You have to do gay porn before you work in straight porn?

Dave, will you just answer yes or no? Please,just answer me.

Dave.

Describes yourself perfectly?

Did you...

Do I have a chance?

Do you Did you

Do you really need a diploma? No.

Does that feel good?

Does that feel good?

Does that sound like anybody to you?

Don't be so smug, Karl. There's a lot here you don't know about.

Don't do that.

Don't get flashy, Karl.

Don't make eye contact.

Don't make me put you under lock and key.

Don't taint her with your octopus ink!"

Don't worry.

Don't you fuckin' "Seed of Doubt" us, man.

Don't. I'll handle it.

Dream guy, huh? "Intelligent, good looking, smart, funny."

Duck, duck, goose, huh?

Duck, duck...

Dude, enough about Dave. You don't know a thing about Dave.

Dudes, I 'm breaking off so I can find my homeys.

Dudes, I 'm breaking off so I can find my homeys.

Enjoy your vacation.

Enough is enough!

Ethan Dulles is waiting in the lobby for me?

Ethan Dulles. I'm actually only here for an interview with Mr. Leonard.

Ethan never paid me. He blackmailed me.

Ethan wanted to work there more than anything.

Ethan, I appreciate the effort, but

Ethan, I really don't feel like being touched right now, okay?

Ethan, it's

Ethan, what are you doing here?

Ethan, what are you doing?

Ethan, what is that?

Ethan.

Ethan. Right. From, um

Every now and then, we're all given a perfect moment.

Everybody cross the street! All runners cross the street!

Everybody in the back.

Everything here, you touched it, baby.

Everything you need to get the girl is in here.

Exactly! It was my fate to meet her.

Excuse me.

Explosive diarrhea.

Find out the stuff that just doesn't translate to paper

Fine. Yes. Here, here.

First on the list, Stockton, Upright and Falk.

Flip me off one more time, I'm taking away the test.

For those of you who don't know me, my name is Philip, I'm the head TA.

Forest Whitaker?

Forget about looking at the balls.

From getting blackmailed by that little freak

From this point on there's no talking, no study guides...

Fuck you.

Fuck.

Fuckin' dinner on a budget.

Fudge!

Fudge!

Game time. Let me get some booklets. We need three.

Get away from the patient!

Get him out of here now.

Get his shoes!

Gimme seven!

Give me a day. I need to think about this.

Give me that test. You are mine, motherfucker!

Glued together with thousands of lies, and now it's being threatened...

Go ahead, go ahead.

God, he's choking on a piece of steak.

Good Christ!

Good God, man, what is wrong with you?

Good luck getting thatjob. They don't hire cheaters.

Good luck, kid.

Good luck. I mean that.

Good thing I'm not in this class.

Goose!

Got a few.

Guys, I saw the sign.

Guys, this is like child's play. A baby could do this work.

Guys, we're a team. Back me up. What do you say, huh?

Guys? Hey, yo!

Happy birthday.

Has a different plan for you.

Have you talked to her? Does she understand?

Have you two been physical?

He betrayed you. He stole my girl.

He broke my tibia!

He got hit by a truck!

He got hit by a truck!

He is no damn good. I bet he got crabs.

He is so

He put together a dossier of information...

He really is a sweet man.

He really likes you, and I cannot do that to him.

He's "doing" his special lady.

He's "f" ing you. He "f" ed me.

He's a bad dude.

He's a great guy, and

He's filed under "cocksucker" in my little black book

He's great.

He's gunning for your job, right?

He's never gonna make it. He's supposed to work in a kibbutz this summer.

He's not gonna sell us out for a girl.

He's not our friend. What?

He's telling you the truth.

Heard you got a little smart with Mr. Leonard.

Hell no.

Help me!

Her gorgeous face and pert breasts disgust you, right?

Here. These are for you. Hey.

Here's to an A minus, boys, in physics.

Hey there! Mission Sports! Everybody smile for the camera!

Hey, do you have a condom?

Hey, hot boy.

Hey, how are you, Bill?

Hey, let's get out of here.

Hey, shorty. How's your leg feeling, buddy?

Hey, this has nothing to do with the girl.

Hey, wait! Ethan, wait. Dave.

Hey, you guys are about to enter into a world of pain.

Hey, you're not fucking "seed of doubting" me now?

Hi there.

Hi, Ethan. Can I see that paper?

Hi, Mrs. Van Graf. I'm Angela, a student volunteer here.

Hi. Hello. Yeah. See, the test booklets are out.

His name's Ethan. You don't know him? Everybody knows him.

His name's right on there. It's David.

Hit by a truck? Are you okay?

Holden University.

Holy

House rules. You don't make your own drinks. Valerie makes your drinks.

How about you sleep on the couch?

How do you know that she's "the one"?

How do you think I know your favourite animal is a monkey?

How much of that did I work to steal my own self?

How you guys doin'?

How'd you do on the test?

How'd you do on the test?

How's that for a secret? We hack into the power grids.

How's that for a secret? We hack into the power grids.

Hurry up, brownie, cookie, whatever.

Hypothetically, if there is no Ethan, she's not your type?

I 'm a commercial airline pilot.

I 'm sorry!

I 've never done a porno before.

I am a cheater.

I am in the class. I'm Sam Schechter. I got hit by a fucking bus.

I am not a whore.

I asked you to stop.

I came clean. And you should have stopped when I asked

I can't stop thinking about him. I can't shut up about him.

I can't trust you anymore. You're out.

I couldn't take it anymore. We're a team. You go down, we go down.

I did it because he caught me cheating.

I didn't do anything wrong.

I didn't know that you volunteered here at the hospital.

I didn'tlike being blackmailed by "Cool Ethan"...

I do love you.

I do not believe what you're saying to me.

I do tonight.

I don't What's the holdup? I've been waiting a half hour.

I don't know what to tell you, but I think Philip called this one in.

I don't think I know one of these damn answers.

I don't think I've ever taken a test honestly.

I don't think you have to worry about that.

I don't want to kick a dead horse, but that Dave...

I don't want to see any more, all right?

I got a proposition for you.

I got hit by a truck. I got a busted tibia.

I got some term papers, some E mails and this "dream guy" survey.

I got the proof. You were there, Dave. Dave Goodman, 555 01 22.

I got the ugly one.

I got this friend, and

I got this friend, and

I gotta be honest. Best dorm on campus doesn't excite me much anymore.

I gotta take a test. I gotta take a test.

I guess I just don't understand what Ethan has to do with...

I guess we all learned a life lesson, except for Jeff.

I had a nickname for you. Want to know what it was? I'm not gonna tell you.

I have cheated my way through college.

I have cheated my way through everything.

I have cheated my way through high school.

I have copies.

I have no boobs.

I have something to say to you.

I have to make that clear to you, because this cannot continue.

I heard all of that.

I hope you enjoy the presents

I just do.

I just don't wanna get sloppy 600s.

I just hate watching people suffer...

I just invited that guy Dave.

I just need a woman's POV on the whole "sitch."

I kinda wanted to talk to you about us, if that's cool.

I knew I couldn't get you because you're so beautiful.

I know Ethan.

I know he is, because he got caught helping me cheat.

I know what you did. I was sitting right next to you. Remember me?

I know you don't have a girlfriend, Ethan.

I know! You can't shut up about him!

I know. I saw your name on the interview list.

I leave the stolen blue book as a decoy.

I lent Angela my notebook because I take such "world famous" notes.

I like you.

I look good and everything, but I'm still freaked out, 'cause of the meat.

I love to suck cock. And I arrange flowers too.

I love you, but I hate you

I love you.

I mean, Angela was perfect

I mean, I practically know everything.

I mean, I think this is the first legit thing I've ever done.

I mean, most women weren't the least bit interested

I mean, the girl's never even had a cavity.

I mean, where are you?

I must leave now. I am a coward. Do not tell anyone.

I need to be with her.

I never would have given that stuff to Ethan in a million years...

I parked my wheel right out here. I'm fine. Thanks, guys.

I plan to take you to this place where you can actually study the real thing...

I really have to go.

I really like someone else.

I run this office. All of this is me.

I said to her, or him, I said

I saw the sign I saw the sign

I saw the sign When I opened up my eyes

I say "happy," you say "birthday."

I see the Olympics for you, baby. Everybody's a winner.

I see what I wanted to do

I slipped in, I slipped out. It was beautiful.

I t is 3 0 percent of your grade.

I think it's right the "F" over there.

I think we could do better than that.

I think you're doing the right thing. I've never seen you like this before.

I thought that was your sexy ass. Come here.

I told you, Jeff...

I wanna come up.

I want that punk thrown out of this building.

I want to, Dave...

I want you to get me a girl.

I want you to get this bad energy out.

I was hoping you wouldn't take it this far. Damn it!

I was hoping you'd say that...

I was just calling to inform you...

I was right. You're a hard person to follow.

I will break, I will enter...

I will pillage, I will probe...

I will torch, I will shatter, I will rifle...

I wish I could back you up. I'm not getting kicked out of college.

I work with my

I work with my hands all the time. I mean, love to rub you down.

I worked the docks.

I wrote my number down in case you wanna call me to talk about the test.

I, ladies...

I'll be your best friend...

I'll get the birthday club cards.

I'll probably give you a nickname.

I'll take you somewhere.

I'm bad!

I'm calling from Non bottled Wine Beverage Monthly, a new publication.

I'm cool with splitting the bill

I'm doing it because because I love you.

I'm done.

I'm fine now. Thanks to you.

I'm gonna Thank you. Good bye.

I'm gonna ask you this right now and I want you to answer me honestly.

I'm gonna file criminal charges on all your asses.

I'm gonna go talk to Dean Rattenbaugh about that...

I'm gonna have to say slave to the freaky assed booby.

I'm gonna march you right up there.

I'm in love with him.

I'm into that firm.

I'm kicking you guys out unless you find a new place. No hospitals.

I'm new, so bear with me.

I'm not an evil, lying genius.

I'm not gay, you know.

I'm not gonna eat that shit, you fuckin' retard.

I'm not the kind of guy who would rub this kind of proof in your face.

I'm pretty sure I'm in the wrong class.

I'm really happy that we got this cleared up...

I'm Sam Schechter. I got hit by a truck today.

I'm sorry you had to settle for Dave

I'm sorry, I don't think that we've met before. I'm Angela.

I'm sure there's a lot we could talk about.

I'm tellin' you...

I'm the kind of guy who will

I'm the one who took care of it. You're out.

I've been watching you everywhere you go.

I've hacked into the administration network. I've done it all.

I've seen a lot of pornoís in my day. It's like a trade secret.

If I thought that you felt this way.

If it'll help me take the midterm, I'm happy to show everyone my balls.

If you can be kissing a girl like Angela...

If you don't know me, that means you've never been to class.

If you don't want to be with Dave, that's fine.

If you just let me get in there, I'll replace that mouse and be outta there

If you stopped smoking these doobies, smack joint heads.

If you think that's weird, one more thing.

In a little room In a little locked room

In that case, I'm gonna need a passport, a birth certificate...

In the back of her closet, in the shoe box.

In the middle of a moment like that...

Is enough enough Is enough enough

Is he a pilot too?

Is that better?

Isn't that the most important thing, honesty?

It does that, you know.

It fell out of your hair that way and I want it back.

It was Sam's idea to join forces.

It's 2:00 in the morning.

It's a hair doll.

It's a scam. Another scam. You can't believe them.

It's a study group.

It's been kind of a long night.

It's Ethan again.

It's gonna be on tonight at 8:00. Everybody smile!

It's like fate.

It's not a Dave thing.

It's not mine.

It's not open book.

It's not too soon, I say. I think the well's sort a run dry.

It's one of our favorite scams the worm in the apple.

It's still 22 to 3, mine.

It's the guy.

It's totally fixable from where I'm standing.

It's wasn't you. It was the guys in the room. It was hot in there and

Jack?

Jeff bought in sophomore year. He marches to a different drummer.

Jeff learned a different lesson.

Jeff learned how to print diplomas.

Jeff's gonna get out too. He's gonna be a financial master of the universe.

Jeff's not exactly crazy about authority.

Jesus, this looks bad.

Joe Schmo has no answers for you.

Just back off and go do your stupid ass thing.

Just back off and go do your stupid ass thing.

Just call me.

Just give me one second. Okay? Just one second.

Just promise me this has nothing to do with the girl.

Keep 'em.

Keep it. I got plenty of copies.

Keep lyin, buddy. We got it on tape. I might just call that number.

Knows what to say without being told."

Lenny's.

Let him go. You gonna be good?

Let me help you out. You've had such a hard day.

Let me just explain.

Let me just take this moment and say one thing.

Let me tell you what it looks like. It's a very distinctive note

Let's get the heck outta here.

Like David and Goliath.

Like that?

Like, are you from this area?

Listen to me. Listen to me!

Listen, Angela, we took this picture in Ethan's room.

Listen, I blew up last night, but I'm proud of you.

Listen, I got hit by a truck today.

Little Red Riding Hood. Congratulations.

Look at me. I'm an anonymous blender inner.

Look at the matches. He's in the inside.

Look, I'm just saying

Look, let me explain something to you.

Look, we will get him the girl.

Looks like I'm gonna have to pay your friends a little visit, Dave.

Love.

Make the switch.

Man, I mean, we can't do that to her.

Man, this is a really hard test.

Masturbating. In the dorms.

Maybe I should make the contact. What do you think?

Maybe it's the smell of your ass getting kicked out of school.

Maybe she needs a little sponge bath. She's so dirty.

Maybe you wouldn't need someone to fill out every test form...

Me and my friend, Jeff, we can control the power on campus.

Me and my friend, Jeff, we can control the power on campus.

Me too.

Meet back here in 20 minutes.

Mission Sports 2 2 Bureau Sports Channel.

Monkey boy.

Monkey boy.

Move over.

Move over. Let's go to bed.

Move, move, move. You're late now. Move.

My college career is a house of cards...

My girlfriend's also a doctor up in Boston. I think I love her.

My God, I was so happy to get out of the house.

My heart is beat beat beating

My rib cage is very tender.

My stepmother drives me crazy.

My testicle turned blue.

New route!

New route! This way! Let's see the form! Big smiles!

Next time you're jackin' off, you sit Indian style.

No athletics like amateur athletics.

No exceptions.

No matter what.

No one comes into Ethan's room. Ethan's rules.

No one's gonna drag you up to get into the line where you belong

No problem.

No problem. I'll put it in my book. I'll say, "Talk to Dave about Angela."

No, actually, I think maybe we should learn more about Mrs. Van Graf here.

No, Angela, it's not okay.

No, I don't A Euro pass? No. No!

No, I'm just getting hotter.

No, no, I'm a commercial airline pilot.

No, thank you. Thank you for coming.

No, we shouldn't.

No, you don't.

No. No, I mean

No. That does not agree with me.

Nope. Oh, no. No hospitals.

Not insist that you go on the pill

Nothing higher than an A minus, or we dock you.

Now I've got the questions, and all my roommate needs are the answers.

Now's the time to start panicking.

Obviously he's a lot better now. Thanks for your concern.

Of course, if this were to get out, you guys would probably be expelled.

Oh, Angela

Oh, Angela

Oh, baby.

Oh, God, I 'm choking.

Oh, God, I'm choking!

Oh, how I need you so

Oh, how I need you so

Oh, I'm so hot. I'm overheating.

Oh, I'm sorry.

Oh, my God, how's your leg?

Oh, my God, I am so sorry. I led you on.

Oh, my God! Thank God! I thought you were with Dave!

Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Holy Are you okay?

Oh, no. That's my mom.

Oh, one, two, three, four hard nipples. Nope.

Oh, shit.

Oh, so very hot.

Oh, sponge me.

Oh, we love it. It's so good.

Oh, well. Leonard Leonard and I are very good friends.

Oh, yeah, your girlfriend.

Oh. You're gonna see him right now?

Okay, but is he all right?

Okay, but you be quiet, hair doll.

Okay, Dave.

Okay, Ethan.

Okay, go sit. Go sit.

Okay, go. All right. And leave that stuff there.

Okay, harrumph, it's over I saw that.

Okay, I 'm done. "X" marks the spot. I 'm here. Peace.

Okay, I 'm done. "X" marks the spot. I 'm here. Peace.

Okay, let's see the so called proof.

Okay, people, this is the midterm.

Okay, that one I don't get.

Okay, that's fine. We don't have to have lunch.

Okay, the test is over. We're done here.

Okay, well, I'll just go check the books. Bitch.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay. I'll buy it.

Okay. I'm going to fix your nose...

Okay. What do you want?

On your resume under "activities"...

One camera, 24 hour a day sports coverage.

One more job, guys. I say we bury him.

One more thing. A wee leprechaun.

Ooh, you guys are so fuckin' hot.

Or be hired by a prestigious financial firm like Stockton, Upright & Falk.

Or did you not...

Or just talk about anything.

Out soon

Party hearty.

Party!

Pass 'em to your left. To your left!

People skills I may lack.

Phase four: sanction the exit.

Phase one: be invisible.

Phase three:

Phase two: human copier.

Please come to Mr. Leonard's office...

Please?

Professor Markoe's? Yes, the exam is today.

Put that in your photographic memory.

Put the underwear on your head, Ethan!

Quickly, quickly! Everyone! You, last student, turn!

Quickly.

Really?

Really? Tell me something about you.

Reanna?

Remember me? Dave. I'm a friend of Ethan's.

Right here, right here!

Right, homeboy? I'm not kiddin' around, bitch.

Rockets in the night come to take me away

Ron Mathius, Census Bureau, my wife Valerie.

Ron Mathius, US Census Bureau.

Sam took it like a man.

Sam, I'm not going to lie anymore.

Sam, where'd you say she was from?

Sam?

Say it, repeat it, believe it.

Seduce me because of some deal you had with Ethan?

See, I'm simply here to copy the questions down.

See, it wasn't exactly like that.

See? She worked on the docks. That's fascinating.

She is a lovely girl with a pure heart.

She was a little suspicious at first, but I'm dealing with it.

She was asking for it.

She would slice his manhood off.

She'll be comin' 'round the mountain

She'll be comin' 'round the mountain

She'll be comin' 'round the mountain

She'll be comin' 'round the mountain when she comes

She'll be ridin' six white horses

She'll be riding six white horses

She'll be riding six white horses

She'll be riding six white horses

She's a local.

She's a Midwestern gal.

She's not my type.

Shh, be quiet. We're in my girlfriend's dorm.

Shoe box! Yes! I knew that.

Shotgun.

Shut the fuck up!

Shut the fuck up!

Shut up. I'm giving it to him.

Simple, easy, by the book.

Sir, congratulations. You have failed.

Sit down.

So bring me the girl, Dave, or you and your friends are goin' down.

So I figure why not put things in perspective and help out, you know?

So I paid Dave and his goons to get close to you.

So I was wondering if I could

So if you could give me a little privacy.

So let's find a chair. There are plenty over there.

So she volunteers at this hospital

So this conversation you're having isn't taking place.

So we split up into two groups to take Ethan down.

So we thought we'd lend him a hand.

So what do you say?

So you fingered an old lady?

So you like living in the dorm?

So, do you know what the book looks like?

So, the concerns of the little people don't apply to visionaries like you?

So, you're cooling off, right?

Social security number, diary, vaccination reports and...

Some of my notebook had her handwriting in it.

Something's wrong.

Son of a bitch!

Soon you're gonna be mine, aren't you?

Stay there.

Stepped on your heart and left a scar in its wake.

Still checking.

Stockton, Upright and get those lousy cheaters expelled.

Study materials need to go under our desk...

Studying and wasting the most important years of their life...

Sure.

Sweetness can rot your teeth

Swirling gases growing hotter and hotter...

Tell her the real secret.

Tell that motherfucker to go.

Tell you what.

Thank you.

Thanks for being honest.

Thanks to this fine, young gentleman.

Thanks.

Thanks. Jeff, I got a job for you. You'll start tomorrow.

That is your fate, Dave.

That means our textbooks go under Exactly!

That means you're in violation of the honour code.

That pretty much wraps it up.

That this man is, in fact, a cheater!

That would open doors for the rest of our lives.

That your product has been selected as the best boxed wine on the market.

That'd be pretty tough.

That's adorable.

That's Castratia.

That's great news.

That's how he's going to talk about you.

That's interesting.

That's it.

That's not one word.

That's right, so all of us here at the magazine thought...

That's Sam. Sam cheats for convenience.

That's the reason I went to college.

That's the way I designed it, so just finish writing whenever you

That's what it's all about. I didn't understand that until I met you.

The big bad wolf's gonna find you.

The classroom is being threatened by fire. Run from this inferno.

The colour of your balls won't change the fact that you missed the midterm.

The fact is, the midterm has already been, and you missed it.

The guy is a stalker. I mean, Ethan, he's nuts.

The lawn mower's waiting.

The little freak is right, all right? Dave screwed us.

The myth has it that she's the most beautiful of all the goddesses...

The one dimensional man

The shit we pulled.

The system that forces us guys to like girls, all right?

The thing is, she's got this

The university took stern action.

The usual way.

Then you do things together You swim, you row, you boat...

Then you need a jump start.

There goes Dave the liar. I "f" ed his old girlfriend.

There's always one in every crowd who doesn't believe me.

There's really nothing here. Someone's going to have to make contact.

They call me Cool Ethan. I live in Heineraker Hall.

This guy could have us kicked out of college, man.

This has nothing...

This is a copy of the final exam, which is what we're taking right now.

This is a different route.

This is a tough one. Just give us the night.

This is a very lovely house you have here.

This is Evan Scabetta.

This is everything we have on Angela.

This is good.

This is great? This is a shit heap.

This is how it all started.

This is me. You have to understand this.

This is Mr. Leonard's office in Human Resources at Stockton, Upright and Falk.

This is not very manlike of me, is it?

This is nothin'.

This is really weird. I never thought we'd see the day when the team split up.

This is so "F" ed up.

This is where it's at. We should really get out.

This was our territory...

This way, this way, this way!

Time's up! Okay, that's it. Time's up. Close your books, stop writing.

To do...

To my little locked room

To my little locked room