Workaholics - Season 3 Edit

A little more of the medicine. There it is.

Aah!

About how Alice was a bad daughter,

Actually I don't have any, ass,

Actually, carry me.

Actually, you know what?

Adam, come on! Let's ride!

Adam, help this guy out with his money, please.

Adam, we will next time, I promise. Come on.

After some stuff just happened?

Alice gets to the office five minutes early every day,

All I'm saying is, I wouldn't mind riding that mongoose.

All over the store. Everywhere.

All right, I'm gonna turn around!

All right, thank you, ma'am.

All right, what are we doing?

Always.

And 1 1/2 beers each...

And delete all her messages before she gets in today.

And delete those messages.

And drive us right to Telamericorp,

And giving her a piece of my mind.

And I accidentally deleted Alice's outgoing message,

And I almost feel like calling her up again

And I feel way better than I normal do.

And I just thought that maybe you should...

And I just wanted to say how sorry I was.

And I said, look, lady,

And I thought we weren't gonna make it.

And I will buy us some booze

And I would say,

And I'm not suffering from it, Alice, I'm living with it.

And I'm the boss. Leave a message.

And I'm very angry most of the time.

And it could be really serious.

And now I have to record a new one.

And one time I heard you queef. Slam!

And take care of your dumbass friends

And then got more perfecter.

And then I'm gonna eat it!

And then Montez sent out this funny video

And you expect us to be adult enough not to play with them?

And you get all ♪ juicy

And you look at me from a distance

And you sure as hell can't encourage

Any kind of innovation.

Anybody? Any kind of alcohol?

Are you o...

Are you okay?

Are you sure you're okay? 'Cause you seem really tired.

ATM, height, weight, skull circumference.

Because I don't get my period anymore.

Because they know they're gonna grow up and be hot.

Because they're about to taste laser.

Because you can't ride a bike in jeans.

Because you're a dickhead.

Been there, huh?

Beers is what got us in this situation.

Behind the line.

Bitch, you got too many teeth in your mouth.

Blake, let's go.

Boys rule!

But apparently it's not.

But for one person,

But it's password protected.

But it's Rancho Cucamonga, let's get prehistoric.

But look at me now!

But there's three of us.

But to me it's just OCD, you know.

But you never changed it.

But... aah!

Cans! It was just cans.

Chasing the American dream, and we made a big mistake.

Come on, come on.

Come on, dude. They're like 15, tops.

Come on, get your mind out of the gutter, you sick freak.

Come on.

Come on. We need to go now!

Coming through! Hustle. Whoo!

Considering I know Alice Murray better than she knows herself.

Cornhuskers rule!

Could've changed it.

Crazy, right?

Damn it! I just blew a .09.

Ders ie, guess who's about to be skitching?

Ders, check it out!

Ders, I might need to borrow a dollar or two.

Ders, I'm fading! Breathalyze me!

Ders, where are you going?

Ders! Ders, where are you? Okay.

Did I mention that? I'm Alice.

Didn't.

Don't act like you never passed out in the street

Don't move! Don't move!

Doubt it.

Dude, get with it, okay? They're gonna act all bitchy,

Dude, how hard did Alice snap on us today?

Dude, if she was here right now,

Dude, wake up!

Dude, we're 15 minutes from losing everything.

Dude. Dude, the voicemails!

Eat booze, little baby girls.

Eat laser, scummies!

Energy drinks and beer! Where?

Excuse me, folks. We got an emergency, here.

Excuse me, sir!

Excuse me, sir.

Feel a headache.

For entering the wrong password too many times.

Fuck you!

Get amped on Demamp!

Get in there and delete those voicemails.

Get off me. Oh, my God. We lose 'em?

God, Alice was being such a dickhead today, huh?

Going green.

Good morning.

Guys, those are sleeping pills.

Guys, we're not going anywhere till everyone's on the bus.

Guys, we're still drunk.

Handkerchief. Gross.

Hello, you've reached Alice. I'm the boss,

Hello? Alice?

Her mom kept leaving these mean messages

Here, come on. Let's go.

Hey hey, young ladies.

Hey, Alice, this is Blake.

Hey, give me back my bike!

Hey, okay, would you just be a bus angel

Hey, suck my di... ass!

Hey, wait!

Hey, why don't you go out into the parking lot

Hi, good morning. Just the coffee please.

Hi, you've reached Alice.

Hi.

Hmm? Aah!

How are you guys doing?

How did you...

How does this sound?

How was that, Blake?

Hup!

I can't answer, 'cause I'm the boss.

I can't see!

I can't take it.

I cant see! Your hair!

I didn't wash them.

I don't know.

I don't know.

I don't want to talk to you every day

I drank, like, 17 beers,

I got one!

I hate you!

I hate you!

I hate you!

I hate you! I hate you!

I hate you. I hate you.

I hope these future babes brought their tongues.

I hope you know what you're doing, man.

I just had to send out this e vite to my landlord.

I just saw you drink one right now

I just took a bunch of power medicine,

I love that guy, man!

I mean, are you thick?

I need you to go into Alice's voicemail

I said, there's a bomb on this bus!

I swear.

I think I just found our ride to work.

I think so. Clutch driving, Ders.

I thought of the best one today.

I was like... You know how you're always like,

I watched dishes.

I will have you removed from this bus.

I'd say that to her.

I'll give you a ride to work. You don't look so good.

I'm a citizen hero.

I'm Alice, and this is my voice,

I'm bitchy. I'm very bitchy.

I'm glad that you like it.

I'm gonna buy this burrito, Ders.

I'm gonna go nuke this 'rito. Cheers.

I'm looking at the goddamn mom Teresa in front of me?

I'm not calling you every day, mom, because

I'm not gonna be the one twirking her,

I'm okay with that, considering...

I'm ready for work.

I'm sick and tired of being careful!

I'm sorry?

I'm sorry. You know I'm a Bianchi guy.

I'm talking about the bike, you sick freak.

I'm warning you, if you don't sit down,

I've drank enough, to the point

I've got her birthday, social security number,

I've never been so not drunk in my life, man.

I've told my boss I wanted to cover her

If she treats me like that, and I'm a good twirker.

If so, I'm begging you to go straight to 24th and Crocker

If this hangover kicks in...

If we go below 50 Miles per hour

If you catch me weighing anybody else's,

If you take this long, come on.

In cinnamon toast crunch dust and then suck her...

In Rancho Cucamonga?

In your pants.

Instead of directly that way.

It was a Mexi can.

It's a good... Oh, my God! Get down!

It's a new one. It just sprouted.

It's a quicker route.

It's Alice Murphy, actually.

It's all taken care of.

It's funny, 'cause it's dads.

It's hysterical.

It's just bean and cheese, man.

It's just been kind of a nightmare of a week.

It's not power medicine.

It's ringing, it's ringing.

It's so sad how much you love me

It's the scenic. Do you like beauty?

It's very dangerous out here.

It's, like... it's something that was perfect... a taco...

Jason Bateman blades. Uh, Shaq doesn't own a car.

Jillian, hey, how are we doing with those codes?

Jillian, I just need you to figure out this password,

Jillian, I thought telling you

Jillian, it's Anders. Listen to me.

Jillian, it's your birthday.

Jillian, turn it off, and get to it, okay?

Jillian, what's the haps on the craps?

Jillian, you set it up, remember?

Jillian, you're the best.

Just follow this laser pointer.

Just give me like a... We'll figure it out.

Just the coffee?

Leave a voicemail.

Let me get tecates and a couple of limes, okay?

Let me hit this, 'cause I'm feeling ripe.

Let the boys be boys. Slam!

Let the boys be boys. Slam!

Let's go! Come on!

Let's kill the pain. Kill the pain in my brain, man.

Listen, we're just a couple of young bucks

Look at me now!

Look, why don't you get in my car, okay?

Lot of people without cars, they blade all the time.

Move your hair! I can't see!

My sharper image breathalyzer key chain from the car.

My sister just found out these test results,

My stepdad's gonna find you and beat your ass!

No one asked!

No stops or anything? We've got a work emergency.

No, I don't think I...

No, I was, uh, weighing your phone.

No, my password is your birthday.

No, you are not skitching. Let's go.

No. I'm starving!

Not good. I messed up,

Not yours though. I bet they're c caved.

Of just dads sneezing.

Of the office.

Oh, [Bleep]! Blake?

Oh, and I'll get

Oh, Ders, be careful!

Oh, Ders! No, I have not started yet.

Oh, he's fine.

Oh, I feel a headache.

Oh, I know exactly what I'm doing, man.

Oh, I would happily do that,

Oh, man, I wish I could have said that,

Oh, my God.

Oh, no.

Oh, now I do.

Oh, oh, man.

Oh, oh, man. No, I can't do this.

Oh, she just flipped me off. That wasn't nice.

Oh, who am I, you might wonder?

Oh! Whoa!

Okay, Blake, I'm gonna call someone.

Okay, haven't you ever screwed the pooch?

Okay, well, I know we had more than one beer in the house.

Once again, does anybody have any beer?

Open the bag and show me the tampons.

Or a churro? I'm starving right now.

Or don't go directly to Telamericorp,

Pfft! Yeah. Just blading on into work.

Put it down.

Put it... I said...!

Really? Today?

Remember that? It's all natural.

Right down there, if you want to see that.

Right.

She doesn't even deserve one ounce of your twirk.

She is, yeah.

She put her little thing down.

She's a freaking trick ass b yotch.

She's a shoplifter. She's stealing.

Shut your mouth and find a hobby.

Sir, you're never gonna catch any fish

So I couldn't take it, and I finally just called her

So I know all this might sound weird to you,

So I know I was really tough on you guys yesterday,

So I'm just gonna tell you, if you go near my phone again,

So I'm... ready for action.

So sit down.

So that hits even closer to home.

So what? You're perfect?

So your OCD makes you weigh people's phones?

So, yes, wise selection.

Sorry, chica.

Stick a fork up your butt and eat poo,

Still a burrito, man!

Tampons. She's a tampon thief.

Thank you for being a true Braj.

Thanks for saving my life.

That has to be a fact.

That looks like a baby.

That might be enough to take us to the level.

That was awesome!

That was me.

That was really good.

That way, we can monitor our blood alcohol level, guys.

That's fascinating

That's not enough to get us kablamo ed.

That's weird. I don't even feel hungover.

That's what they're there for. That's fun.

The doctor ordered some go juice.

The doctor prescribed some go juice!

There should be a warning right on the label.

There you go. Drink up.

There's a bomb on the bus!

There's a volcano over there.

They never give up, man.

They remind me a lot of myself when I was a future babe.

They're all gone, man. They're all gone, man!

Think, speak.

This is Anders.

This is saying I'm locked out of the system for 24 hours

This rock star needs a monster can of red bull. Now.

Time to go.

Tits are rad!

To replenish our body with liquor.

To stay the eff away from it would be enough,

True soldiers, for real.

Tuck the pole. Watch your eyes, everybody.

Uh oh, blazer, hold on!

Uh, I was just trying to be the best assistant I could be.

Uh, this is, uh, not Adam.

Uhh...

Want to let us hop on for a little ride?

Watch this.

We are not giving up! Okay?

We can't take a run at 'em yet.

We got some open seats right in the back,

We got to take the bus. Let's go!

We have to stay drunk till we get to the office.

We need you.

We'll be fine now.

We're about to bunny hop this muh...

We're drunk right now, and we feel great, right?

We're gonna go in that liquor store,

We're taking 'em just in case the beer wears off.

Well, color me flattered.

Well, I'm not a vet.

Well, yeah, I don't know, mom.

Were you trying to listen to my messages?

What a good little baby.

What are we doing!

What are you doing?

What are you doing? Stop it.

What do you say? Uh, we're all young adults.

What? You deleted the voicemails?

What? You're her assistant.

Whatever, dude.

Where are they?

Where are you go...

Where I would go right to her face,

Where is Adam with those beers? Man, I can't get a hangover.

Where's Blake?

Which gives us 29 minutes to beat her there

Which is in her face,

Who are asleep there.

Who is this?

Who this?

Whoa, man! Look at these cool bikes!

Whoa!

Whoa!

Whoa!

Whoa. I'm level... That's a .25.

Whoo!

Why aren't we going the Ders way?

Why aren't we going the Ders way?

Why don't you guys go ride each other?

Why don't you show me your tampons?

Why, dude?

Why?

Why? Why don't you get your period anymore?

With rollerblades before!

Y'all ain't gonna be able to make it!

Yah! Yeah!

Yeah, and it's what's gonna get us out.

Yeah, I don't know if you know our new catchphrase,

Yeah, I know, I know that.

Yeah, P.M. that's power medicine, man.

Yeah, that's the complete opposite direction

Yeah, the last one, Ders.

Yeah, yeah. Oh, Adam!

Yeah, you know, maybe as you get older

Yeah!

Yeah! Blood alcohol level!

Yeah? And you should fricking roll up your pant leg.

Yeah. And that's what I was doing.

Yeah. We're so close, we're so close.

Yep, there it is.

Yep. I did a great job.

Yo ba sayo.

Yo, Ders. Ders!

Yo, you look like you smoke, and I know that you don't.

Yo.

You are a.

You don't access to her voicemails?

You don't know how to delegate.

You don't know how to motivate.

You ever wanted a do over?

You get better at hangovers.

You give out laser pointer key chains,

You got some brats on the bus?

You got to move your hips like a figure eight. Damn.

You got to, man, if it's that good.

You guys never told me you liked my way.

You know how I am when I have a hangover.

You know, my manager at Togo's always said,

You might be the boss, but you, ma'am,

You might want to go this direction

You see that lady over there?

You should interrogate her for, like, an hour.

You should tell that to her face.

You take it to gain more power in oneself.

You think you can handle those future babes?

You were just hit by a bus, buddy. Suck it up.

You were just pointing 'em at people's crotches.

You'll be back washing dishes at Shakey's.

You'll never amount to anything.

You're dumb and no one loves you.

You're good. Let's get this.

You're not going straight to the office like I asked you.

You're not gonna gain strength. You're gonna go to sleep.

You're welcome, Braj.

Your ass is about to get kick assed.

Yours is about, uh, 12 fluid ounces, give or take.

Zzz!

90 seconds.

♪ Living that blade life What are you talking about?

Always. That's what happened.

are no leader. Yeah!

Are you okay? S'go... without me.

because you drive him crazy. Oh, the dickhead.

Blake! Blake! Whoa, dude!

Burritos. Check it out... painkillers.

Choco tacos. Nice. A choco taco, it's perfect.

Come on, let's go. Always, man.

Come on, man. The pills...

Come on. Tap it, and there it is.

Come on. Whoa, front of the line.

Damn, I forgot a belt! Shhh.

Dude! You're my best friend!

Feeling... Oh, he's passing out!

Go shave your muff! Suck it.

Go without you? Yes.

Handle that, okay? Burrito? Yes, yes.

He blades a lot. Yeah, uh...

He's wasted! I don't feel good.

Here we go, here we go. Hey, right here!

Hey, Blake. What?

Hey, clerk. Down here.

Holy... I'm leveled!

How'd they find us? Ahh...

Hurry up, dude. Feel good, then not so good.

I did. It's her voicemail.

I hate her. Yeah.

I'm about to be hungover, dude! No!

Inside. We need beers. Wait, no!

It's P.M. Who woulda thunk.

Jesus. What the...

Jillian! I'm close.

Move your hair. Move your hair!

Move! What are you doing?

No, this isn't the Ders way. I love the Ders way.

No, we had four. Uh huh.

No? Thank you all for your help.

Oh, God. Oh! Just sit down.

Oh, here we go. Where are the beers?

Oh, no! What?

Oh. Hey, he's all good.

Okay. We'll be right back.

Ow! I slipped a disk. Adam? Adam?

Pretty smart, huh? Yeah, but that's P.M.

She... what are those? They're headache pills.

She's a grown adult... Here it is.

Shhh, shhh, shhh. I can't wait to hear it.

Somebody needs to get twirked. Yeah.

Son, I need to know... Oh! Watch out!

Stay up. I will.

Suck my ass. Yeah, he said, ass!

Tell me you can do that. I'd say yeah...

That'd be great, champs, okay? Very good. Thank you.

The Ders way's a good way. Triple left, center, right

The only thing I can do. Holmvik!

There's more of them. The juice!

Wake up Demamp! Hmm?

We did it again. We did it!

We know. We hear you. You're a great twirker.

we're all going to explode! What did you say?

We're screwed. He's right, we have no choice.

What are you doing? I'm skitching.

What do you mean? I'm not...

What do you need? Burrito.

What was it? Do it.

What, man? I'm here. Dude, wake up!

What? Blake!

What? Did you?

What? Future babes.

What? Get down! It's Alice!

What? I'm starting right now.

What? Oh! Ow!

What? Uh oh.

What? What do you mean? Keep pedaling! Aah!

Whoa! Oh, my God!

without any stops. 24th and Crocker?

Yeah, I totally would. Through her ear hole,

Yeah. Cool.

Yeah. That's 11 stops.

Yeah. What are you doing?

Yeah. Hey, what the heck? Good stuff.

Yep, I'll meet you guys there. Wait, where are you going?

Yep, yep. I hate you.

You got it. Oh, and Adam?

You got money in here? Help him out.

You thought of that today? Yeah, earlier.

You're a. You're a dumb.

You're my best friend, dude! Come on!

.06.

.10. We are dangerously close to being hungover.

'cause I just called her work phone.

♪ And I've had it up to here

♪ it's a level of devotion...

♪ On a skateboard, tattooing up your mind ♪

♪ sweet and salty in the sky

♪ with the static in the ocean