Get Hard (2015) Edit

A black man just came in with a flamethrower, just like you always knew would happen!

A strip club isn't a home office.

A verdict is expected today in the mini Madoff trial of James King.

A very white gang.

Aah!

Aah! James, you mean to tell me you could do this shit the whole time?

According to who?

Act natural, James. You walking like you guilty.

Ah...

Ain't no gyms in San Quentin.

Ain't no kind of. They are.

Ain't no way you're making that much money without committing a crime.

Alissa!

All I'm saying is that when life puts a dick in your mouth, you make dickade.

All right, break it up.

All right, great job.

All right, James. Look, you're gonna get in a fight on the inside. Okay?

All right? People look at what you have...

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right. Ahem.

All right. I'll just go do it.

All right. Let's get started.

All right. Now, this is very complicated to follow.

Almost sounds like a movie.

Always check the anus.

An entire island.

And a great friend.

And as your incarceration expert, that concerns me.

And because you rock my world...

And between the pot and the hos...

And don't try any stupid shit.

And I am, I am. And I think I'm open to it now because of our talk.

And I can't ever thank you.

And I can't read your mind

And I got Makayla at the table.

And I just want you to know I'll do whatever it takes to survive and get my life back.

And I will be contacting my attorney. Daddy?

And I'm a businessman.

And if you go through that threshold and you make it back...

And it's that whole helpless feeling that I have about our creative process being monetized...

And next time you wanna store some fraud shit, get an iPad.

And now I'm fucked beyond all fucktitude!

And see how many hits it gets.

And somebody just graduated.

And that I am no Bernie Madoff.

And that the jury will put aside their bias and see the truth:

And the strip club ain't no home office!

And they want...

And today, that hard work paid off...

And you have so many friends, baby.

Any sort of contact with the clearing house, the traders...

Anything you desire, anything you want is yours.

Anyway, I'm going to prison and I need protection.

Anyway, Martin used to drive the same exact seven miles every day.

Are there any French gangs?

Are you fucking ki...? It's common sense, James.

Are you gonna get him some help on the inside?

Are you hard? And can you handle yourself?

Are you okay?

Are you ready to get hard?

Are you the king? How much money you gonna make today?

Are you? Ha ha ha.

Aren't you supposed to be a predatory lender? Then prey on me!

As for me, I was cleared of all charges related to the embezzlement.

Attention Sea Note. This is the U.S. Marshal Service.

Aw.

Babe. This does not make any sense.

Baby, all we have to do is keep saving.

Ball's in your court, Gayle.

Because if this isn't, this is the worst nightmare imaginable.

Because it's my job to prepare you.

Because me not getting this loan is a problem.

Because once we go, we do not hold back.

Because you're not doing what I told you to.

Before I pop yo ass!

Being with you and in front of all of our friends and family here...

Bênção kick!

Better luck on handling yourself!

Bitch, you got two seconds to let his fucking pocket go. Two!

Black people ain't trying to hurt you!

Bottom line, James! I know what I'm talking about.

Boyz n the Hood, man.

Buenos dias, Cecelio!

Burn him.

But by hard work.

But don't be fooled by its beauty and grace.

But don't start crying when you drop me off at the dorm, because then I'll start crying.

But I buckled down and I succeeded.

But I thought you loved me forever.

But I'll put the play together.

But if I could choose a dad...

But if I did I'd find

But is being right more important than friendship? Huh?

But last week, he started driving 56 miles every day.

But most of all, if you let someone fuck with your food, you're a punk fuck bitch.

But not with us. You know, inside it's all about color.

But Russell, from the Crenshaw Kings, referred me?

But that **** James

But then he explained how he was able to hide most of the money...

But you get protection from us, we got rules.

But you gotta trust me, man.

But you learned some of that shit from me too. Right, James?

But you, motherfucker, man, you white as mayonnaise, man. Ha ha ha.

But, thanks to Darnell, I was ready.

By my calculation we should be well outside the county line.

By the way, the gay game is a game you can win.

Bye bye.

Call my lawyer in Tijuana.

Can I join the gang, s'il vous plaît?

Capoeira must never be used unless capoeira is required.

Cecelio, turn it off!

Cecelio! Release the chickens!

Choking on a mouthful of balls

Clean the roofs, Mike.

Clear professional.

Come here, man. Heh.

Come here!

Come on, James.

Come on, man!

Come on, man.

Come on, man.

Come on!

Come on! James, you need to focus.

Come on.

Come on. Come on, let's go.

Come on. Get your juice, and your book bag.

Come on. Just can't get it through your head?

Come on. They're probably sending you to some Club Fed prison.

Cops came, man.

Cops came. I said, I did it.

Crenshaw Kings for life, motherfucker.

Cut it off. Get it out of my face, man.

Cut the light off! Shit!

Daddy, I don't think he did it.

Daddy, I like your car wash.

Daddy's working on it. I love you.

Dammit.

Damn. Mayo is badass.

Darnell, have you every shared with James the story of how you went away?

Darnell, why don't you tell him about that time that that white lady came and adopted you...

Darnell!

Darnell! I made it!

Darnell? Who's Darnell, ése? You're looking at Carlos.

Daughters will love like you do

Dickade doesn't sound like a significant improvement over dick.

Dickapedia! Why do you care?

Did it get bigger?

Die! Die!

Do like we used to do in the yard.

Do me on the new house.

Do you understand you're gonna get him killed before he even gets to prison?

Don't give me reason to find you again. Either of you.

Don't mad dog, James.

Don't worry, son! I'll take care of it.

Don't you mad dog me, James.

Don't you want...

Don't you, Mr. Popular?

Doughboy's like, Come on, man. Get up. Let him be. He's done.

Doughboy's real name was Russell. We was close, man.

Down the hatch! Heh.

Dude need a white gang.

Eating alone?

Everybody, step aside!

Everything.

Exactly what it is. Now, convey that shit. Let me see it.

Exactly. Thank you.

Except you can't vote, ever.

Except you forgot one little detail.

Excuse me, sir. I hate to bother you, but I need to fight you.

Excuse me.

Excuse me.

Excuse me. Everyone, just shh.

Explain to her why she has to go to school in a gangbanger school district...

Facial.

Fathers, be good to your daughters

Fifty six! So, what I did was, I checked the map.

Fine. Fine.

First rule in prison pat downs:

Fit in, man. Go ahead.

Follow your heart, man.

For the love of Alan Greenspan.

For too long, wealthy white collar offenders like you...

For what?! What is...?

Fortunately, I got a plan.

Frankly, I don't feel like you're giving me 100 percent.

Fresh air.

From now on this will be your cell.

Fuck a bag of tits!

Fuck a tit hard!

Fuck a tit!

Fuck cock!

Fuck is wrong with you? The shit is pretax.

Fuck someone!

Fuck yeah, James. Get his ass, James.

Fuck yeah!

Fuck you.

Fuck!

Fuck! My life is ruined.

Fucking working for a villain in a James Bond movie!

Gayle, a minute.

Get back here, bitch!

Get down, James. You gotta get down.

Get off! Get off!

Get off.

Get up, go over there, and politely ask that man can you suck his dick.

Girls become lovers

Give respect to get respect.

Go suck a dick.

Go survive.

Go upstairs, turn this place into prison.

Go! Go! Go!

God, look at you!

God!

God! You're failing.

God.

God. Oh, God.

Goddamn, James. Please, please, James.

Good job, guys. We're all working hard today. Mm.

Good job, James!

Good luck charm, my ass.

Good one, Spider.

Google I Have a Dream, assholes!

Gosh, me neither.

Great! Oh, good!

Great.

Great. Then you have a plan for success.

Gringo, you take you and your dirty bitch elsewhere.

Guys like you will always be the fall guy because you're weak.

Ha, ha. Okay. Ha ha ha.

Ha!

Hand over the computer, James.

Have a good night.

He ain't gonna say no. It's a scientific fact.

He had the ticket!

He just wants you to protect him while he's on the inside.

He loves putting me in the hole.

He shipped me off to boarding school in London with the Murdochs and the bin Ladens.

He was our golden boy, you know?

He will not last in prison.

He wouldn't even last in my school.

He'll be choking on A mouthful of balls

He's a fucking cop.

He's a n**** lover. You take him.

He's gonna make a run for it.

He's gonna shoot us.

He's keeping me up to date. But the million dollar question is:

He's so charismatic. Real natural leader. Reminds me of a young Ronald Reagan.

Heh. Hell yeah.

Hell no, man. Is this the motherfucker who you said you had to get ready for prison, man?

Hello, this is James.

Hello?

Hello. James King, Senior Fund Manager, Wealthrop Funds.

Help me to not be someone's bitch.

Help me!

Help you with what?

Here, you tell her.

Hey there, Jamesy, that was quite a ride, man.

Hey, baby, do what I showed you.

Hey, back off! You better get those tits out of my face! Or I'll show you my tits!

Hey, big guy, my name is Ken. I work here.

Hey, boss man, did you get that text?

Hey, don't freak out.

Hey, everybody!

Hey, fellas. My heart's already been ****d.

Hey, guys. He's in there.

Hey, hi. I'm James. You mind if I could give you a little head?

Hey, I gotta go, okay?

Hey, I want you to be safe, okay?

Hey, I was nervous the first time I did karaoke, right?

Hey, I'm about to tear you a new ass.

Hey, listen up, everyone. I'm extremely sad.

Hey, listen, Russell...

Hey, listen. I tell you what though.

Hey, Mr. King.

Hey, pal. I'm about to tear you a new ass.

Hey, Russell.

Hey, Russell. Russell!

Hey, son. You're a disappointment to your parents.

Hey, that capoeira shit was amazing.

Hey, you are living the dream, my friend.

Hey, you know something, you're family now, kid.

Hey, your dad never went to jail, okay?

Hey! Have fun with it, right?

Hey! Hey, I swear to God. I swear to God, I'll cut you,ése.

Hey! Hey, you!

Hey! It's Darnell! It's Darnell!

Hey! It's me, James.

Hey! Step aside, FBI! Back up!

Hey! Wow.

Hey.

Hey. It's me, Darnell. Look, man, I've been thinking it over...

Hey...

Hi, Dad?

Hi, everyone!

Hi.

Hi.

His yacht.

Hmm. Almost.

Hold on! Hold on. Question, question.

Hold up, everybody. Stand back. I'll handle it.

Hold up! Oh, shit! Wait, wait, wait!

Honestly, all I gotta do is change my voice, talk a little deeper.

Hope you brought your Costco card, because you're about to get dick in bulk!

How about fresh farm to table, a purée of my balls!

How about we make a toast to escaping fucking Nazis.

How could you do this to me, Martin? Ten years in prison?

How do you know my mama?! You don't know my mama.

How does a million dollars sound?

How does a prix fixe dinner of five courses of dick sound?

How hard is it to cry, Makayla?

How many times did I breathe in clean air, fragrant with lavender, and take it for granted?

How to keister? Up the keister?

How to prevent this:

How?

However, from the sound of CNN and the looks of The Wall Street Journal...

Hug, motherfuckers!

Hug.

Humor me.

I actually respect you for trying, but enough is enough, James.

I almost sucked a dick because of you!

I am but a simple bartender from Belize.

I am genuinely sorry it had to end this way.

I am helping you. By saying no.

I am sorry, man, that just happened.

I apologize, James. What do you want me to do?

I came here to tell you we can clear your name, James.

I came up with a great idea.

I came up with that.

I can turn it on with no hands.

I can't believe this is happening to me.

I can't do it. I really tried. I just can't! You have to train me.

I can't see through walls

I claimed him! He mine, Leroy!

I could pay you.

I did end up getting six months for carrying an unlicensed weapon.

I didn't do it!

I didn't even say it. I was saying two other words.

I didn't hear that part.

I don't care

I don't even give a shit.

I don't even know what the fuck that is, man!

I don't expect you to get it on the first pass, so listen very carefully.

I don't have to be a thug to portray a thug. Okay?

I don't know how to explain what it's like to take money from someone like that.

I don't know what that means.

I don't know where I belong.

I don't like them. They cause too much trouble.

I don't wanna do this anymore. Let's move on. Okay?

I don't wanna know.

I don't want him out there, playing detective with somebody.

I don't want it.

I don't want that.

I don't want to see that. I don't want to see that trick.

I don't wish that on my worst enemy. You talking about bad? That's bad.

I figured out that the residue on Martin's car was saltwater.

I forgot the gin and juice. Should I run back inside?

I get up.

I got it.

I got it. Yeah, I got it.

I got the computer.

I got your keys!

I grab him. I got his head on my arm. I'm looking. I'm like, Ricky!

I guess you got hard, Mayo.

I had to make it look good. You throw a fight, you don't go down in the first round. It's fine.

I hate to admit it, but it's a good song.

I have a wonderful idea. Why don't you come with us?

I have to. I don't have a choice.

I heard you!

I helped the FBI find and return all the assets Martin stole.

I honestly don't get the difference between Roth and the traditional IRAs.

I hope you brought your dick punch card because the eighth dick is free.

I just felt with this face to face that you would...

I just gotta figure out why he's going to San Pedro. That's the only thing I don't know.

I just need some love. Can you just hug me?

I just needed a place to regroup.

I just thought you could use some company.

I just wanna say, thank you, James and Alissa, for making me...

I knew it! I knew my day would come.

I knew you were coming back.

I know I'm not crazy. Didn't I tell you to get off the phone? Get off the phone.

I know. Can you fucking just keep your head...

I know. This is some kind of joke.

I know. What are you doing?

I like his hair. He's breathing on you.

I like that. I like that a lot.

I lost everything! Fuck you!

I lost my black friend.

I love it.

I love it. And I'm like, I'm not gonna kill you.

I love you, Dad.

I mean a whole fraternity of motherfuckers gonna have your back.

I mean the small, small kinds

I mean, camouflage and cheetah print, that's straight out the gangbanger's handbook.

I mean, heck, I'm such a racist that my chess set, I only have white pieces.

I mean, she's the daughter of a convicted felon. She's strong.

I mean, technically, I am right now.

I mean, that's why I'm down here power washing cars every day.

I mean, we knew they cheated in soccer, but, had no idea...

I mean, you wanna raise a family in this house?

I never thought prison would be the place I learned to love again...

I only know these two.

I run over there. I'm running, I'm running.

I said, You damn right, it does. So we strapped up.

I said, You go ahead. Live your life. I'll tell them it was me.

I see all the wine, man.

I see you.

I sentence you to the harshest penalty allowed:

I speak French. I'm not fluent, but I can...

I still have that computer.

I still love you.

I suggest you walk wherever you came from, ése, before you have a problem.

I survived with these.

I tell you what:

I think I know who killed Tupac.

I think that's more of a Yale thing.

I think we've talked enough tonight.

I think you have the safety on.

I think, real fast, you need to tell me what the fuck you gonna do...

I told Doughboy I'd take the rap.

I told you to hit the bull's eye.

I told you, Carlos! Keep that shit over there on your side!

I told you, don't freak out! You freaked out! God! Wait...

I totally feel fine.

I venture you've heard that I'm going to prison.

I walked right into that one. Heh.

I wanna fight you.

I wanna thank you personally for the Bradway Chemical buy.

I want what they have.

I want you to call me Dad.

I was being black.

I was in Nam!

I was over there, and I was touching all those shanks.

I wasn't dirty when you was up in it. I wasn't dirty then, was I?

I went to jail.

I will, Shonda.

I won't give the blacks a chance to win.

I would listen to him. This man's a dangerous felon.

I would love to. We could be island neighbors.

I'd better get back before lockdown or Cecelio will put me in the hole.

I'd like to put a buy order on Bradway Chemical, up to 7.50.

I'd love to hear it. I think it could really help me.

I'll be so strong for you, Dad.

I'll do better. We have the whole car ride.

I'll fucking kill you if you say anything.

I'll help him.

I'll kill you! I'll kill you!

I'm a Cliff Huxtable pussy looking motherfucker.

I'm a fair person.

I'm blooding in. Crenshaw Kings are gonna protect me on the inside.

I'm getting the house.

I'm getting the house. Unh!

I'm glad you like it, sweetie.

I'm going to fuck you up, Mr. James!

I'm gonna be there for 10 years.

I'm gonna break it off, make you eat it.

I'm gonna make you my bitch's bitch!

I'm gonna punch you in the fuck!

I'm gonna punch you in the fuck!

I'm gonna shit you!

I'm gonna suck your di...

I'm gonna suck your di... Your di...

I'm happy to see you too, big fella. I'm happy to see you.

I'm here, supporting a friend, doing some gay stuff.

I'm just wondering if maybe I'm not the best fit for the Alliance of Whites.

I'm not a puto.

I'm not gay, man.

I'm not trying to appropriate your culture.

I'm one of the hardest workers you'll ever meet.

I'm positive. I just wanna ask you one question.

I'm ready for it.

I'm rolling.

I'm sad dogging you.

I'm so glad I hired you. This is just what I need.

I'm sorry to remind you.

I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare you.

I'm sorry. My name is Chris. It's short for Christmas Came Early This Year.

I'm sorry. That's why I'm asking you to...

I'm still confused as to what piece you are in this puzzle, Carlos.

I'm very fond of you, but Himalayan Tiger tanked...

I'm... I'm laughing.

I've been pushed around for too long.

I've been washing your car for two years now...

I've got a good feeling about clean coal.

I've got a state of the art gym 40 feet away.

I've seen Boyz n the Hood.

I've seen white people before. My probation officer is white. You know what I'm saying?

I've taken millions from them...

If I see you around here again, I'm gonna put a hashtag on your ass.

If I were to get into this game...

If you follow this guide and do exactly what I say you will survive in prison.

If you heard everybody fucking, it is. That's how bad it is.

If you let someone mess with your food, you're a punk.

In 30 days, we'll have the money, the house will be ours. What is the problem?

In fact, I made this one for you.

In other words, liquidate two bricks of cocaine and park it right here.

In prison, a mad dog face is essential to your survival. Do you understand me, James?

In return, they unfroze my bank accounts, and I knew just where to invest my money.

In Scotland, they're referred to as chibs.

In this truck, the N word is perfectly fine. Just another word right now. Go ahead.

Infinity pool.

Instead of him going to prison, you got him 30 days to be out there, running around...

Is that a guesthouse for the guesthouse?

Is that weed?

It has no connection to the outside world. No emails, no internet, no trace.

It is so nice to talk to you.

It is what it is.

It just, like, jumped out, man.

It makes you wanna give it back to them...

It means we went and got the guns.

It reminds me of my humble beginnings.

It starts with a simple inverse inhale.

It took so long to ring me up, I had to miss my waxing appointment. I feel like a gorilla.

It was a reflex. I really can't tell you.

It wasn't quite the return I was hoping for, but...

It will be our pleasure to repay you for your many kindnesses.

It's a Brazilian martial art.

It's a good luck charm.

It's a teachable moment here, people.

It's actually quite deadly.

It's called capoeira.

It's confusing, but I don't...

It's Darnell.

It's delicious, though.

It's docked at the port.

It's fucking beautiful!

It's good, right?

It's good?

It's good.

It's in this cabinet.

It's James.

It's just the wine.

It's like a fishhook. The more you pull, the deeper it lodges.

It's Mr. John Mayer!

It's my sign.

It's not as bad as I've heard, is it?

It's okay. Put it back. God.

It's short for Mayonnaise on account of my skin color.

It's sticking right out of my head.

It's summer too.

It's the size of your dick.

It's what drives this country.

It's where you get your few precious minutes of fresh air and sunlight. Understand?

James is talking to somebody.

James King, exit the building and surrender to custody immediately.

James King, Wealthrop Funds.

James King. Protestant.

James, don't do nothing stupid. Just dress casual.

James, fuck him. We're leaving.

James, I love you...

James, listen to me.

James, now there's still time to get everything you want.

James, put that away, man! Stop!

James, seriously?

James, stop it.

James, this is sick. You gotta be crazy to think of this.

James, this is the moment when you cross that threshold...

James, what are you doing?

James, you got a choice right now. You got the right path, you got the wrong path.

James, you gotta get low!

James, you gotta throw something back!

James, you gotta trust me on this one.

James! James!

James! Let's go!

James? James. No. James, please.

James.

James.

James. I gotta tell ya. I just can't imagine what you must be going through.

James. What's going on here? What the hell did you do to my boat?

John, lay back. I'm gonna take a few bars.

Just a second!

Just eat your fucking salads.

Just get up there and sing.

Just get your ass out the car and go in there, act hard.

Just how strapped are these loser motherfuckers?

Just kiss me?

Just me, that computer...

Just run them over!

Just stay in county lines with that thing on.

Just this once.

Just to say thank you for all the hard work.

Just wondering if there's any word from the investigators.

Keep calm? Sir. Sir. Can you...?

Keistering.

Kill me! But please tell the world I'm not a thief!

Knee. Knee grr.

Leave him alone. I'll keep him.

Leave me alone! Stop! No!

Leave the cart there and back away. Move away, come on. Move, move.

Let go of my face!

Let me create wealth for you.

Let me hear some of it.

Let me ride you. Let me ride you into safety.

Let's go!

Let's go.

Let's go.

Let's go.

Let's just leave this material world behind.

Let's just rest here.

Let's just run away! Some place that no one would ever think to find us.

Let's roll, cos.

Let's roll.

Let's try this. What's that place where your leg bends?

Lights!

Listen to me. Listen to me. You're not gonna be at this school forever.

Listen to this. What if I have everything I need except the $30,000?

Listen up. I said I want you to learn how to suck dick.

Listen, listen, I got some explaining to do. James!

Listen, this relationship can't just be built around him.

Live in a one bedroom shack.

Look around you.

Look at his face. He looks like he's getting fucked right now.

Look what your dumb ass done did. Stab.

Look, babe. I am your wife, so I will put it to you straight.

Look, he's not trying to be a member, okay?

Look, the electronic toothbrush part, it still works.

Look, we'll work out the details later.

Look, you're gonna find you someone, man.

Look! All arrows point to Martin!

Look...

Looks like you could use a friend right now.

Loser motherfuckers.

Love you too, man.

Loyal to a fault.

Ma'am. Okay. I couldn't tell.

Makayla, what...?

Make the right decision, James.

Man, fuck this boat!

Man, give us a second.

Man, I didn't say nothing.

Man, put them up.

Martin didn't do as well. But he learned a valuable lesson too.

Martin was arrested for fraud, tampering with evidence and obstruction of justice.

Martin was right. You are a lucky little shit.

Martin! Martin! Martin!

Matter of fact, call me the N word. But say it like you mean it, though. Let me hear it.

Matter of time. Matter of time.

Maximum bullshit prison?

Maybe I can help.

Maybe it's time that we act like we got work to do.

Mayo and Chocolat, motherfuckers!

Mayo and Chocolat.

Mayo and Chocolate.

Mayo and Coffee.

Mayo and Fudge.

Mayo, I need you to sink your mind into this, cos.

Mayo?

Me and Doughboy come around, we see Ricky on the ground.

Me and Doughboy said we'll go this way.

Me, my man, Ricky, and Doughboy.

Merry Dickmas, Santa Cock!

Million dollars sound like a one with six zeros behind it with two commas separating them.

Mm hm.

Mm.

Mm.

More importantly, I'm not gonna be anyone's bitch.

Most of them. Yeah.

Mother... Shit!

Motherfucker, freeze!

Motherfucker! Say something else, bro!

Motherfucker.

Motherfuckers!

Move!

Mr. King, no. I got that.

Mr. King, please. I feel like you just haven't given me...

Mr. King, that is...

Murder. Murder.

Murdered. Why do you want me to get murdered?

Music!

My heart is just now finally settling.

My knee?

My life's asshole is fucked!

My real father never had time for me.

No, he hasn't.

No, I'm not complaining because we have yet to have any sort of interaction.

No, I'm not on the bench, man.

No, it's not a compliment. That's not a good number. I'm like a 9.

No, it's not what you think. We're in love.

No, it's not, because I don't wanna play. I'm saying if.

No, it's okay. A lot of people get confused by that.

No, no, no, James! Don't freak out!

No, no, no! She's not done. She hasn't finished yet.

No, no, no. Not you, sir.

No, no. Like, the beginning, the beginning. Like, the first day of prison.

No, that's horrible, man. Anger. You gotta show me anger.

No, this house is a shithole!

No!

No!

No! I don't feel comfortable with that. Let go of me! Leroy is going to be upset.

No! I don't want any of it.

No! I'm not even wearing khakis.

No. He's gonna kill us, man.

No. I don't think it's a strategy that could work.

No. I have faith that the justice system will exonerate me.

No. No, no. That's never gonna happen.

No. We don't have that type of time. Cecelio!

No. You made me hard.

No. You're right. You're right. Those are the months.

Nope.

Not even a parking ticket.

Not even chicks. Or dudes. I fuck anything.

Not if Mayo can stop him.

Now from this point on, this ain't your house no more.

Now I'm gonna be dreaming about balls.

Now it is time. I can feel it.

Now JoJo, you might be right.

Now what do you do? You know what I mean?

Now you must bring your power into the world.

Now, before you say anything...

Now, do you have a problem with that, brother?

Now, I heard a crazy story about you. This guy James King?

Now, let me tell you, you're gonna bullshit a bullshitter...

Now, listen, I want you to drop this sir nonsense.

Now, Martin has a team of investigators working around the clock.

Now, the great thing about an IRA, if you need the money for education or a first home...

Of course he didn't.

Of course not.

Of course, that was before...

Oh, boy.

Oh, come on, baby. Do me like a billionaire!

Oh, go, go, go!

Oh, God!

Oh, God.

Oh, God.

Oh, God. Oh, James, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

Oh, God. Oh, James, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

Oh, I wouldn't worry.

Oh, man.

Oh, my God!

Oh, my God! I almost did it! I almost killed a man!

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God. My heart is pounding.

Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

Oh, my gosh. I can't believe I'm about to do this.

Oh, no! Please don't hurt my body! Aah!

Oh, no.

Oh, no. Okay, James. Cut it off.

Oh, shit!

Oh, shit.

Oh, shit.

Oh, shit.

Oh, shit. I'm so scared.

Oh, shit. Maybe in blackface. Who knows? Ha ha ha.

Oh, stop. That's bullshit, man.

Oh, these are shanks.

Oh, they be fucking in San Quentin.

Oh, wait, wait, wait!

Oh, yeah. Murder's my favorite.

Oh!

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh. Oh. Come on. Come on.

Oh. There's my cab.

Oh. There's no warm up?

Oh...

Oh... Oh.

Okay, fine. Fine. Do you know what? I'm putting my daughter on the phone.

Okay, I may have lied to you about going to jail, but I did my job. I got you ready!

Okay, I see what this is.

Okay, starter! Heh.

Okay, then.

Okay, uh...

Okay, very nice. John Mayer, everybody.

Okay, we gonna roll on them and take they money.

Okay! Okay!

Okay? You're a lion, I'm a gazelle.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay. Ahem.

Okay. All right.

Okay. Come on, this way.

Okay. Hey. Let me help you out, man.

Okay. Mr. King, I have a lot of people helping me that way already. And... And...

Okay. What's next?

On the first day?

On the inside, there's somebody on every corner to fuck you up!

Once you step through this threshold, motherfuckers are ready to kill for you.

One of those pieces of pizza will be thrown in jail at some point during it's life.

One out of three black men will find themselves incarcerated during their lifetime.

Or shivs.

Otherwise, the U.S. Marshals will be down there pronto.

Ow!

Peter piper picked a peck of pickled cocks!

Phew. Yeah.

Play something!

Please don't sexually assault me. I'm already too sad.

Please leave a message after the tone.

Please stop.

Pop? Really?

Pretty much. Good as new. Let's roll, Mayo.

Principles.

Prison is like life distilled to its purest form.

Prison school is in session, bitch! You already failing.

Prison school's in session, bitch.

Prisoners are scared. Guards are scared.

Private club, Jew Hair.

Progress.

Put that in there in front of the statues with the dicks.

Putting fingerprints on your gun. If you go to jail, I'm going to jail with you.

Ready for what?!

Ready, mother...?

Ready, mother...? Ready, mother...?

Really? Dad?

Release the dogs!

Remember this bracelet that crooked lawyer of yours gave me?

Ricky got shot.

Ricky said he'll go this way.

Ricky was star quarterback. You know, he had a college future.

Ricky!

Ricky.

Ricky.

Right now, I'm thugging. This is thugging.

Right now, you in the brothers only section. You got two seconds to get out.

Rita, Makayla, new house, good school.

Rita, Makayla, new house, good school.

Rita, thank you once again for taking the knife out of my head.

Rosa!

Rule number one:

Rule number one: You always be on guard, okay?

Run, James!

Run, James! Run!

Russell and his friends, they're different dudes.

Russell, can you please just help me, what I'm asking you for? Just start from the beginning.

Russell, I'm sorry, did I just hear a gunshot?

Russell! Excuse me.

Russell! Excuse me.

Safety off.

Saltwater, ocean, San Pedro.

Save me!

Say, cos, you ready to get put on the hood?

See? Safety's on.

Seven bedrooms.

She probably on her knees sucking somebody dick in the back seat of a truck.

Shh! Shh.

Shh! You need to shh. Senator.

Shit ain't gonna save you in San Quentin!

Shit, cousin! Man, tell them to put their guns down!

Shit!

Shit!

Shit!

Shit! Okay.

Shit! Ow.

Shonda visited me every day.

Shoot her. You need to shoot that bitch anyway.

Show...

Shut the fuck up, man.

Shut the fuck up!

Shut up!

Sir, I'm just saying, your ad says, Bad credit, no problem.

Sir, thank you.

So as owner and CEO of Hollywood Luxury Bubbles...

So before you out there and make a stupid ass decision, why don't you think about that?

So can you define no problem?

So hard.

So I need you to do something for me so we don't create any dangerous situations.

So I shorted gas and went long on coal.

So I'll talk to you later. Have fun.

So let's let that go.

So powerful.

So the idea is that I make a face that conveys the fact that I'd have no problem hurting you.

So the normal minimum buy in to the Nexel Fund is 5 million...

So tomorrow we're gonna go over to my cousin Russell's house. Now listen.

So what reason did you give him to assume that you went to jail?

So you don't think it's too much house, do you?

So you figure it out. Shoot me, Martin gets shot.

So you gotta shake that fear. I want you to go and punch that big ass dude in the mouth.

So you probably got as much or less...

So you probably got as much or less...

So you're gonna go and kill somebody, James? Huh? Have you lost your fucking mind?

So, mothers Be good to your daughters too

Some roosters, some mangly homeless guys, whatever he's got.

Somehow you're getting me to hug you, and I don't know how that's happening.

Someone learned how to keister.

Someone let me out!

Someone should have told you this Mayo went bad.

Son, I want you to stay strong. Do you hear me?

Sorry. It's part of my training.

Spider, what do you take me for?

Spider, you're up.

Stab!

Stake my claim.

Statistical analysis is what I do. Here's the deal:

Stock market is gangster. Take what's yours and fuck the other guy, right?

Stop clicking around and give me the gun. Come on. Give me the gun.

Stop freaking out!

Stop it! You all friends! Right?

Stop! Look at me.

Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Please.

Stop. Stop. You don't have to eat like that. You're on furlough.

Success is a mindset!

Summer, Christmas...

Surprise!

Survival.

Take it from me.

Take whatever you want!

Tell me how you gonna escape San Quentin. Stop wasting my time, James.

Ten thousand square feet.

Thank you for coming back for me.

Thank you so much for celebrating our engagement with us.

Thank you, Jesus!

Thank you. Bye.

Thank you. I've got about six hours more.

Thanks for driving me to college, Dad.

Thanks for everything.

Thanks for not doing nothing stupid, man. Let's get out of here.

That crazy is good.

That feels very good.

That I didn't steal money from people.

That is not true.

That is really great. Now, can we please be done with this conversation?

That literally just happened.

That sounds like a choice!

That still doesn't feel...

That was important to me!

That was like third quarter 2012.

That's a mad dog.

That's amazing. Mr. King, listen to me.

That's be tall.

That's deadly?

That's disgusting. But guess what? You can look forward to 10 years of it!

That's good, because let me tell you something:

That's good, James. That's really good.

That's good. Let me see what your mad dog face look like.

That's great. I spend my whole life in Crenshaw...

That's insane!

That's it, that's it. Ahem.

That's it! That's it, gringo. I swear, I'm getting sick of this shit. I'll stab you.

That's it? My fingerprints are off that easy?

That's like a rabbit. You don't want him no more...

That's nice. That's cool.

That's not bad at all.

That's not bad, James.

That's not gonna happen, James, because I'm gonna put my investigators...

That's right!

That's right. We're talking the real police.

That's sad.

That's the Alliance of Whites.

That's the difference between me and you. Hence, why you need to suck a dick.

That's the gang I have to join?

That's the magic of compounded interest.

That's the wrong N word. Come on, James, I'm giving you a free pass right now.

That's what happens when you try to jump a fence illegally. Hm?

That's what we do!

That's what we need. This will clear my name.

That's what we're here for.

That's when your casket drops into the ground.

That's why I wash cars today.

Thattaboy. Hey, James, do you wanna switch off, man? I got nothing left up top.

The boss is here.

The charges are securities fraud and embezzlement.

The devil in here, bitch!

The fact that I went to prison?

The fuck are you doing, man?

The fuck was that?!

The key to survival in prison lies in the following simple questions:

The king needs his castle, James.

The more I read, the more I listened...

The music, the fashions, the attitudes, the beefs...

The one thing you need to understand at the Wealthrop Fund...

The only name on the board is fucking Martin!

The problem is he is never going to believe that you went to jail.

The Sea Note? What a dick.

Then get mad! She gonna leave you? What is she doing?

Then I remembered the mileage. I used to take a picture of the odometer all the time...

There it is.

There it is. The master records.

There it is. There's his boat. The Sea Note.

There was a moment where I stopped being hard...

There you go.

There you go.

There you go.

There's a spot on the bench for you, if you decide to join.

There's the computer.

These are the king's tits!

They be fucking in San Quentin.

They fucking in San Quentin.

They got him.

They hung up.

They might as well call it San Fucking, man.

They relax, then I'm like, Boom, get on the ground now!

They seem kind of racist.

They want your huge house.

They were just encouraging me...

They're behemoths. They would break my spine.

They're passing me this sticky icky.

Think about that!

This bitch is gonna mess around, get us audited.

This illegal, unlicensed gun.

This is beautiful.

This is deadly?

This is delicious.

This is gonna help me in the long run.

This is L.A.'s number one gay hookup scene.

This is terrible foreplay. Come on.

This is the end, guys.

This is the U.S. Marshal Service.

This right here is my prison readiness program.

Those are the type of guys you're gonna see in San Quentin.

Those guys get away with murder.

Three black pieces.

Three headshots. Pop! Pop! Pop!

Time to smoke some fools.

Transfer 100 million from my client accounts.

Turn it off!

Turns out that's the exact distance of a round trip to San Pedro.

Two kitchens.

Ugh.

Ugh. There it is. Same computer he had when he started the company.

Uh, James.

Uh...

Um...

Um...

Understand something, James. The yard is the most deadliest part of prison.

Understand that this is the most dangerous situation there is.

Very inspiring, sir.

Very suspicious of outsiders.

Wait, man. You murder people all the time, Black.

Wait! Wait! Wait! Don't leave. Don't leave, please. I could use your help.

Wall Street, man. Those are the real criminals.

Watch and learn, son.

Watch this.

We can talk about that another time.

We can talk about this after we go catch this guy.

We dead ass serious about what we do.

We do it! And we do it hard!

We got 40 cars and we got eight hours of the air down here!

We got into it with some other guys. You know, some gangbang stuff.

We gotta roll, Mayo.

We just have to figure out a way to get the door open.

We saw those guys later that night.

We was just some boys in the hood.

We'd need to get a hold of the master records...

We'll find out what he is.

We'll start a whole new life in Cape Verde and nobody has to go to prison.

We're about to simulate a prison riot.

We're at the lvars Brasserie.

We're going to Martin's office.

We're like zebras.

We're moving on from the mad dog. James, can you fight?

Welcome back to the free world, James. How you wanna celebrate?

Welcome home, man. Come on, let's get in the car.

Well, actually the time value of money is such that...

Well, actually, there's one more part to your present!

Well, Dad, looks like you thought of everything, didn't you?

Well, he's not really ready for that right now.

Well, I don't wanna say that. Russell, I shouldn't have to say that.

Well, I need protection, and I'm hoping to join the Crenshaw Kings.

Well, in case our guests have guests.

Well, now you know.

Well, that may not, but you haven't seen my Bênção kick.

Well, the fact that you went to prison.

Well, this is a rare moment for optimism because the answer to that is a resounding yes.

Well, welcome to the club, Jimbo.

Well, you couldn't get him to take the plea deal.

Were they, uh...?

What are you doing?

What are you doing?

What are you doing? What is that?

What are you talking about?

What are you trying to do?

What did they do to my yard?

What happened to my tennis court?

What if I speak to all the bitches and we organize...

What is that? I love you! I was playing!

What is this shit?

What is your problem, man? What are you doing?

What the fuck are you doing, man?

What the fuck are you knocking over the bike for?! Run!

What the fuck is that, man?

What the fuck was that?!

What the fuck?

What the fuck? You talking about my ballsack?

What the fuck?!

What the hell? Where'd that come from?

What the...?! How many motherfuckers live here?!

What you doing in the trunk?

What?

What?

What?

What?

What? Dogs?

What? James. What are you doing?

What? No.

What? This is so dark.

What? What the fuck?

What?!

What's the latest from the investigators? The investigators?

What's your life worth to you?

Whatever happens to me in there, it's your fault!

Whatever it takes.

When life puts a dick in your mouth, you make dickade.

When we clear the breakwater, shoot them.

When you got a line of inmates waiting to use the phone...

When you was at Harvard, did you ever get ****d for failing a test?

Where am I gonna find someone who...?

Where are you at, man?

Where did you put...? That was in your ass. That was in your ass.

Where is this stuff coming from, James?

Where'd that come from?

Which forces me to ask the question, Are you fucking with me?

Which forces me to ask the question, Are you fucking with me?

While I got you out here, I just wanna... I just wanna talk to you for a second.

Who are you gonna restore that Airstream camper with?

Who are?

Who I fucked!

Who showed you Boyz n the Hood?

Who the fuck are you, man?

Who the fuck are you?!

Who turn into mothers

Who wants to party?!

Who's John Mayer?

Whoa, whoa. Don't hold it by the blade. Haven't you ever held one before? Right here.

Whoo! Look at that kick!

Why are you arresting me?

Why do you look like that?

Why don't we have enough time?

Why don't you leave him alone, Carlos! Leave him alone, Leroy!

Why don't you tell it? Don't leave out details.

Why would he hire you?

Why would you come up in my hood, in my house...

Will fall Hands against the prison wall

Will you stop?

With that rate of return, I could buy a new car every time it gets dirty.

With the historical performance of the fund, that's gonna double every three to five years...

With what Ricky did and the ticket...

Wow, I got you good too.

Wow, what a story.

Wow. I knew you were the right guy for the job.

Wow. Yeah.

Yeah, except when I ran his record, it was the cleanest one I'd ever seen.

Yeah, it did, baby.

Yeah, Russell said you'd be by.

Yeah, well, I'm not totally giving up. There is time.

Yeah, yeah, like Lil Wayne, right?

Yeah, you did it like three times. You tried to get me fired, but thought my name was Andre.

Yeah!

Yeah! Ha ha ha. Finally.

Yeah! You got it, James.

Yeah? You gotta stake your claim, James.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah. How about that, you knew my name!

Yeah. I had no idea that I was performing for a monster.

Yeah. Merry Dickmas, Santa Cock! Hmm?

Yeah. No, we all did. I just didn't wanna bring it up first, that's all.

Yeah. That's good. I love the fact that you're listening. I love that.

Yeah. We're alive.

Yeah. You're about to 20 likes on Instafuck.

Yeah. You're about to 20 likes on Instafuck.

Yellow tie.

Yes, go do it.

Yes, we're definitely doing it.

Yes!

Yes! I see you.

Yes! Thank you!

Yes! You gotta stake it!

Yes.

Yes. Heh.

Yes. Look, you did your time.

You about to get some right now, motherfucker.

You ain't got to do this.

You and I are exactly the same.

You are carrying a fugitive.

You are marrying my daughter, for Pete's sake.

You are not exactly a thug.

You belong with me.

You better not drop me! Goddamn it!

You can too.

You come back safe.

You could be the Athena to my Odysseus.

You could swim over and borrow a cup of gold.

You couldn't get past Cecelio and some Chihuahuas.

You damn sure got your get up right, man.

You deserve everything you're getting. Good luck on survival, sir.

You didn't know? Yeah.

You do not leave this room without my permission.

You don't know when to quit, Mr. James.

You don't need to win, but you need to show these guys...

You don't think people can see those? I hired you to do one thing.

You don't want my pocket.

You expect me to help you? I'm supposed to teach you what?

You fuck your mother with that dick?

You gave your life and your freedom for Russell.

You go back over there with the n****s! That's where you belong.

You going down.

You going to San Quentin. There's 100 percent chance...

You gonna have to do a little better than that, James.

You got a right to be happy too, you know?

You got anything to confess before I rip your face off?

You got me so hard.

You got to be the dumbest genius I've... Get up, James!

You gotta go. Okay. Bye.

You gotta step carefully because if you step in the wrong place...

You gotta think long term. Think about the relationship.

You guys are very lucky.

You had to change your clothes for this?

You have 30 days to get your affairs in order.

You just gotta set your sights on something more realistic, you know?

You just remember:

You know what? I got something I wanna say to y'all since I'm guessing...

You know what? Let me give you my statistical analysis.

You know who else started in a garage?

You know, and to think it all started with this.

You know, fresh start.

You know, growing up, my family would never spend any time together like this.

You know, I bought an island in Cape Verde.

You know, maybe you guys should just calm the fuck down.

You know, to get respect from the other inmates.

You know, you're the best boyfriend I never had.

You look a little nervous. First time holding a gun?

You looked good out there, my big strong fiancé.

You made me hard.

You made my company $28 million today.

You making me mad, motherfucker!

You need to do something that's really gonna help him.

You need to fucking take it somewhere else, ése, huh?

You paid your debt. And we as society...

You picked the wrong day to come to the park.

You point at him. I'll point at Martin.

You point? Okay. That's how you wanna do it?

You pull that out on the yard, somebody come out attack you, they can do this to you.

You ready to train harder than you've ever trained?

You ready, motherfucker?

You really are innocent, aren't you?

You really did it all on your own.

You really don't need...

You remember. You know.

You scared the shit out of me, man.

You see, everyone, whether we're born rich or poor...

You see, I didn't get to where I am today by asking for handouts.

You should know, you did all right this time.

You stabbed me!

You stop with your unorthodox style of cussing!

You sure?

You think I like it?

You think that you can get with me?

You think this a motherfucking game? You think I'm playing?

You think this a motherfucking game? You think I'm playing?

You told me I needed to try to fit in, so I stayed up all last night studying your culture.

You traitor!

You walking in there, they're probably gonna think you a cop off the bat.

You wanna watch The Notebook?

You watch your back on the yard.

You were always one step ahead of me.

You were dirty then. You're dirty now.

You will no longer refer to this area as a tennis court. From this point on, this is the yard.

You: No! I don't want any more! Stop! That's enough.

You. You, right there, with the hat.

You...

You'd better... Don't...

You'll be out in a year and in the best shape of your life.

You'll be playing tennis and golf, you know.

You're breaking my spine!

You're going to prison unless you can prove that Martin did it.

You're gonna be my grand bitch!

You're gonna be my grand bitch!

You're gonna go to that bar. That guy. That guy right there.

You're gonna have to work harder than you ever worked before.

You're in my world now, bitch!

You're never getting out alive! Ha, ha.

You're not gonna get it. You'll be in for three months.

You're not gonna shoot me.

You're so bad.

You're talking to James King.

You're the teacher.

You're under arrest for 43 counts of fraud and 30 counts of embezzlement.

You're wasting time. Police'll be here any second.

You've reached the mailbox of Martin Clark.

Young lady.

Your boy, Mayo, is an earner.

Your cousin. Your cousin, Darnell, man.

Your time is up!

Your training's not going well, man.

Yup. Yeah.

...how do you know I went to prison? It's simple.

...over there with the n****s, ése. With Leroy?

...partner. Ah.

...to keep people from accusing me of joyriding. People do that? That's awful.

...where there are no extradition laws. Fucker's got a yacht and a island, James?

Aah! Aah! Aah! Come on! Get him! Get him!

Absolutely. Okay, so James, if that's the case...

Alissa? Shoot her.

All right, stop. You could train me.

All right. Fuck the board! Let's go, James!

All right. No problem. I appreciate it.

All right. We got a problem. What's that?

And find out who this Darnell is. I'm on it. Right away.

And things change with time. No, no, they don't.

Answer the question. Is my eye twitching? It look fine.

Any better? Awkward.

Are those guards? I think so.

Are we at Coachella? No, James!

Are you a woman? I am if you want me to be.

Be my white knight. Save me. Don't get your hopes up.

Because he thinks I went to prison, babe. That's the part I don't get.

Because that's how you survived. Right? No, you shut your mouth. No, it is not.

Before you get mollywhopped. Okay, Darnell.

Bitch! Don't walk away from me! What the hell did you just say to me?

Bitch. What?

But not as beautiful as you, Alissa. Aw.

Bye, Makayla. Bye, Mr. King.

Chinese hackers. They're pretty sure. Hey!

Chocolat? Chocolat.

Come back, Mayo. Take it all.

Come on, dear. Hey, watch it!

Come on. Three, two, one! In the mouth!

Dad! Take the plea.

Darnell? Yeah?

Did this motherfucker tell you to lie to me? Russ.

Do you wanna step with me?! God!

Do you want me to teach you how? No, I'm gonna pass on that.

Don't worry. Kind of hard not to worry. You're my daughter.

Done. Oh...

Dress casually. Blackface.

Drop it! Oh, shit.

Dual hand jobs. No. No! I kill with these.

Enough to choke a baby. That's right.

Ew. That's right. Nuts and butts.

Fantastic. All right.

For you to sleep on, señor. Go on, we ain't got time for games.

Friendship. Go back where you belong.

Fuck you calling a n****?! He was. I wasn't.

Gayle, call my lawyer. My party!

Get off my hand! Sorry, I'm nervous.

Give me 12 months. Months.

Go. I'm going.

God! Oh, my God.

Gonna knock your ass out! Don't hit a woman!

Good Lord. What's gonna happen? Cecelio's just gonna throw some stuff at you.

Grab it! Yeah. I got it, I got it!

Grr? Put it together, though.

Have fun with it. Yeah.

He ain't complaining. You should get tested.

He assumed it? Yes!

He'll never put two and two together. No, stop it!

He's a cop! I smell bacon.

He's a great teacher. See that?

He's really excited about this. Okay. Let's do it.

Heh. Thank God we won't be needing this anymore.

Hello. I'm gonna put a cap in yo ass.

Hello. What's all this stuff?

Help! Help! Stop! Mr. King. No!

Here you go. Oh.

Here. Right there. Don't point it at me.

Hey, babe! Watch this, honey.

Hey, big guy, you catch the game? Yeah.

Hey, I'm James. I wanna suck your dick.

Hey, who are you talking to? It's Darnell. He's helping me.

Hey! It's Darnell. Help!

Hey. That is amazing. Thank you so much.

Hi. Hi. Hi.

Hmm? Oh, my God.

How does a million dollars sound? Ha ha ha.

How ya doing? A whole lot of fucking.

Huh? Like Macbeth.

Huh? Why don't you pick up the gun!

I already cut off my ankle bracelet. No! No.

I didn't say nothing! Oh.

I don't know how I'll ever repay you. Oh, come on, man.

I don't know what that means. It means we got the burners.

I don't know. Hm?

I don't see anyone. You belong with the n****s.

I don't want one. Just call me Darnell. Hit it, Fudge!

I get excited about murder. Don't worry about it.

I got next! What the fuck?

I gotta go. I'll call you back. Hang it up!

I kick, James! Yeah.

I knew you were coming back. Motherfucker!

I lost everything because of you! I didn't do it!

I love you and Makayla. Yeah, I love you too. Good night.

I love you too. All right.

I love you. I love you.

I miss her so much. What the fuck are you doing, James?

I swear I don't know what any of this is about! Mm hm.

I wanna fight you. What'd you say, dickhead?

I wanna suck your dick. There you go! Just dive in!

I was trying to leave that area. You need to go back...

I'll go over there. Don't call me dirty.

I'll love you forever. Hey, bro, you know, it's just talk.

I'm cut! No, you cut me, man!

I'm going to be attending San Quentin. They're sending you to San Quentin?

I'm gonna pull it. Okay.

I'm gonna put it in my mouth. Yeah.

I'm just saying. Shut up, James.

I'm just standing here. No, you not. You got my bitch!

I'm not a cop. Fucking hate narcs.

I'm not doing anything! I'm about to whoop your ass, white boy!

I'm sorry. I'm sorry, man.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry, man.

I'm sorry. Thank you.

I'm sorry. What's a mad dog? You a mad dog!

I'm stabbed! No!

If I can play it. Great.

If I get more phone time. Hang it up!

Imagine a pizza, okay? Okay.

Interesting topic of conversation. Wait. No. That wasn't a sit down invitation.

Is it a king's dick? It's slightly above average.

Is my eye twitching? No!

Is that a real site? No. James, it's a... Get up.

Is that supposed to be my nickname? That's your nickname.

It's a deal. We got a deal. Excellent.

It's a real pleasure to watch you work, sir. Thanks, Leo.

It's a shiv. It's just a shiv. Yes, I know.

It's Darnell! What the fuck are you doing here?

It's like they don't recognize you anymore. Thank you. Yes.

It's Nazi titties! And they're huge!

It's what he wore at his last runway show. Oh, Lil Wayne.

James King. Yeah?

James, come on. Excuse me. Right through here.

James, no. What?

James? You think that's a strategy that could work?

James. Daddy, what's he doing here? It's fine, honey.

Keistered? Yeah. Were they keistered?

Let me hold your pocket. All right.

Let's just shake hands. There is no shaking hands, gringo.

Let's play a memory game, okay? Engage. Yes.

Lifeboat. Come on. All right.

Look at you, man! I know.

Mm hm. Good point.

Mm hm. Heh.

Motherfucker! You got two seconds! Don't hit a woman!

Mr. King, that's... That way, you can make it on your own.

Mr. King? Yes.

Nice whip. What the hell are you doing?

No, I didn't! Yes, you did!

No, I'm okay. Hold up.

No! I'm leaving you. Why?

No. Four...

No. Yeah.

Oh, dear Lord. Someone help me! Stop it! You're being ridiculous!

Oh, fuck! What? It's a...

Oh, God! You drove it in a little deeper.

Oh, it burns! Pepper spray, bitch!

Oh, my damn. Alissa.

Oh, no. They're getting ready to leave. Shit. We gotta jump.

Oh, shit! Bring me their fucking heads!

Oh, shit. What's your what, ****a?

Oh, sure. Ha ha ha. There's nothing I love more than making money.

Oh! Oh! Why do you say it like that?

Oh. Everybody gets the dick.

Oh. Oh, oh.

Okay, how do we get it? Martin has the original copy...

Okay, I know what you are. Let me hold your pocket.

Okay, James. James. Grr.

Okay, okay. Not to mention Russell.

Okay, you wanna go then? What?

Okay? Okay

Okay. Ha ha ha.

On a yacht! I'm so sorry.

Ow! Oh, shit! I'm sorry.

Please! It's the hood.

Put it back? No. No, no.

Quick, throw it in the Zodiac. Right. Then we can get the fuck out of here.

Really? Yeah.

Say what you mean. You got five years' receipts, motherfucker?

See you tomorrow. James. James.

Shake? You wanna shake my hand? Oh, regular.

Shake. It's fine. Okay.

Shit! Goddamn it! Aah!

So it's Martin. No.

Sorry, Daddy. That's okay, but that's just nasty.

Stab. I'm dead.

Stab. Ow.

Stab. Stop.

Stab. Stab. Guards! Guards!

Stabbity stab, stab, stab! Ow. Ow!

Stop! I beg of you! Like a pit bull with no leash.

Stop. Is this motherfucking...?

Take whatever you want! Let me see that!

Thank you, Darnell. I'll see you in the morning, convict.

That is... Thank you.

That's all you, James. All you, James! Aah!

That's for Ricky! For sure.

That's great. I'll tell the others. I'm just saying...

That's impossible. That's what they all say. Get him out of here!

That's terrible. Ha, ha.

That's what they do. What if someone says no?

That's your plan? Yes.

The king's titties. That's right.

There's a lot of them. Yeah.

There's gotta be more of us than them. There's not.

These transaction records prove you're guilty. I've never seen these. These are fakes!

This is a bad time. Okay, I tell you what, man.

This is nuts. Okay. I don't get what's nuts to you.

This is what I need to hear. Yes! Yes.

This is where I need to get out. James! No! No!

This is your fault! What?

This San Quentin! You understand me? Okay.

Time for what, James? Protect the computer!

Tonight will be our night. No. Tonight won't happen.

Traitor? Everything you taught me was a lie!

Trying to do this thing. No.

Trying to figure out a place... I'm your old bitch.

Turn around and walk! I'm walking.

Ugh. Sho' enough!

Unh! That's your mad... That's it?!

Unh! Yeah!

Voted Flirtiest Brunch three years in a row. What do I say? What do I literally say?

Watch out. Move, old man.

We're not like a zebra. We are like a zebra. You're my...

We're talking about survival. I understand.

Well, let me walk you out, man. No, that's fine.

Well, yes. In this...

Were you in on this? No, not at first.

What are you doing? Working on my trash talk.

What are you talking about? Darnell's doing a wonderful job.

What is baked potato? Wait. Did I leave one out?

What is your problem? I don't know.

What the fuck is that?! Get off! It's me! It's me!

What? Baked potato...

What? Oh, God!

What's keistering? Slow down! You ain't ready for that.

Where you going? Huh, Martin? Where you going?

Who are you? I'm Dante.

Who falsified my transaction records? All right, lay it on me.

Who the fuck is Mayo? I'm Mayo. It's my gang name.

Who you supposed to be dressed like, James? Little Wayne.

Who's Darnell?! You are.

Who's the king? I am.

Whose tits are these? They're my tits.

Why do you want me to get murdered? No.

Why would you tell him that? I didn't. He assumed that.

Why you smiling? I'm not smiling. I'm tense and I'm agitated.

Yale. I'm sorry.

Yeah, are you a winner? Yes, I'm a winner.

Yeah, I suggest you walk, white boy. Walk! All right. I'm walking.

Yes. Go over there and fight one of them.

Yes. Phew.

Yo, he's good. He with me. And who the fuck are you, ****a?

You all right? Yeah. Come on.

You are sick. I'm not sick. It's called desperate.

You blew up my club, Jew Hair! Oh, shit!

You could sell Chiclets on the road. What?

You don't have to give me that much, Mr. King. Hold on, hold on.

You don't have to give me that much. Hold on. There we go.

You eat organic? What?

You got a problem, gringo? Darnell, what are you doing?

You happy about that? No.

You know, the gay game... Uh huh.

You ready, motherfucker?! Aah!

You ready, motherfucker?! Aah!

You say that now. No, no, no. I'm always gonna say that.

You wanna go? What are you doing?

You're gonna learn how to suck dick. What?!

You're gonna show me you can get hard! I'm gonna show you!

You're in my world now! Aah!

Your fiancée left you. That's right!

Your what?! My Bênção kick.

...a big, big island?

...a part of your special night. Thank you very much.

...access to trading records and client information...

...and an $8 million loan from my father.

...and everybody else with eyes and ears go to get they news, you broke, motherfucker.

...and everybody else with eyes and ears go to get they news, you broke, motherfucker.

...and I can tell you're the type of man who likes the best of everything.

...and I can't wait to be married to you.

...and I had to get the money from somewhere. I had no choice. It was you or me.

...and it might be a good idea to get you extra protection on the inside.

...and join America's most elite.

...and now I'm about to get killed by some white guy from Beverly Hills?

...and present yourself as something you not, offering shit you can't deliver?

...and that's what inspired me to write this song...

...and they haven't stepped to me yet.

...and they want it.

...and they were high fiving me.

...and turned you into an offensive tackle.

...and we're looking at, mm, $1.2 million easy.

...and, of course, the doling out of commissions all goes through Martin.

...are a great man, James King.

...as I was just named partner in my firm.

...but I can get you guys in using a brokerage pocket account.

...but I thought of you, and it got me hard again.

...but that's what happened.

...except that would be worse because then they'd have it.

...for $30,000.

...form a union, and we put our feet down and say, Enough!

...fucking things up!

...have gotten a free pass with light sentences in minimum security prison...

...hip hop is a very sophisticated, multifaceted subculture...

...house?

...how would you like to make $500 just for telling me what prison was like.

...I got you this!

...I just wanna say, I'm the luckiest man in the world!

...I wanted to offer you an exclusive platinum lifetime wash card...

...I'm left with one choice, and that's to get your stupid ass in shape.

...in 23 years' time, I'd have in excess of $3 million.

...is based on our own decisions. It's simple as that.

...is that everything flows through Martin.

...is the only indigenous American art form, I say listen to a little Jay Z, my friend.

...it was just an ambrosia of primal sensations.

...it's not a good thing, James. It's not a good thing at all.

...just make the bullshit plausible.

...motherfuckers can make withdrawal penalty free.

...on the same computer that he had when he started the company.

...on this twenty four seven until we find out who really did this.

...or miscellaneous...

...or white...

...right here next to you.

...should welcome you back, and we do.

...so now here comes the guy that wants to rub your face.

...so you need to go in there and you need to make them believe that you're one of them.

...so, really, there's no harm done.

...than this little no good, manipulative, degenerate motherfucker...

...that speaks to all different types of people.

...that you're gonna be somebody's bitch. Ten years of this:

...that you're not afraid to fight back. Get used to fighting. See those guys over there?

...that's got dogs that can swim. Let me tell you something about swimming dogs.

...the more I felt connected to its rich cultural tapestry.

...then why aren't you trying to find the guy that framed you?

...there's winners and there's losers, James.

...think about the type of money that you'll save with this investment.

...this is the first time that you've ever been forced to listen to a black man.

...to make me wanna keep motherfuckers off your ass.

...until your eternal demise.

...we gonna be dead ass serious about you.

...where they're murdering kids. Murdering!

...which is a log of all transactions made by anyone in the firm.

...which is actually available on iTunes tonight at midnight.

...while working Americans have suffered. Well, that ends today, Mr. King.

...who've made an opposite prediction on the market.

...wife. So hot.

...you do not wanna piss them off, James.

...you have eternal protection...

...you know...

...you'll end up in the wrong territory. For a person like you that can't fight...

...your hot, hot...