The Simpsons (1989) - Season 28 Edit

A beachside bacchanal

A business deal gone wrong.

A charge plate?

A chessboard where the pieces are lipsticks!

A cinder block with a stretched out belt

A corking revenge rap.

A cute little guy I could take to the circus and the movies

A decluttered life is a h... (gasps)

A decluttered life is a happy life.

A decluttered life is a happy life.

A diorama of the sky from the night you were born.

A dog? He saved a dog?

A fabulous new bar, just got interesting.

A family member must sign me out.

A few of these French Canadian bikers

A founding member of The Five Boyfriends,

A great musician only needs her instrument.

A hundred bucks to walk you to the curb?

A hundred dollars! (gasps)

A man can have two faithful companions.

A man who discovered Rick Ross

A menu

A non food answer.

A pop up thermometer in him, just in case.

A posh club, beautiful single men and women,

A pot of goals. All right.

A sophomore at Exeter?

A soulful R&B quintet.

A team?!

A telescope and a hose

A thousand bucks a kidney?

A thousand yards away.

A traumatic incident on the property.

A very touching scene.

A white nerd.

A wonderland of boutiques

Aah!

Aah!

Aah!

Aah!

Aah!

About playing the owner in commercials.

About the Declaration of Independence, Lou.

Absolute goulash!

Absolutely not!

Absolutely.

Actually, more like Macedonians.

Adolphe. A name that will only be associated

Affairs were launched on my dance floor

After spin class.

After World War China

After you put your fingerprints on this knife.

Against your boy Friday?

Agnes!

Agreed. Now, are we done here?

Ah, cha cha cha!

Ah, good thing I was joking.

Ah, ha

Ah, I guess this summer's really over.

Ah, Skunk a san.

Ah, there sure is, you can let me scratch your husband.

Ah, there.

Ah!

Ah.

Ah.

Ah. I still don't remember you, man.

Aha!

Ahoy hoy. This is Sector 7G, where...

All doors would open for Monogram Monty.

All I got was a pack of cigarettes

All I had to release were the June bugs.

All I have left is my family mausoleum.

All of his buttons fell off of his shirt.

All right, all right.

All right, because up until now I've been such a great guy.

All right, but who's the boys?

All right, come on, deer and pig.

All right, deviant out.

All right, I'll tell you what:

All right, that's it. I'm comin' in there!

All right, then.

All right, you've served your purpose.

All right.

All the little children have a the adult anxiety now

ALL: Aw!

ALL: Aw!

ALL: Aw!

ALL: Aw...

ALL: Aw...

ALL: Aw...

ALL: Combing is murder!

ALL: Ooh...

ALL: Yay!

Also, Dollard St. Laurent.

Also, spiritually and emotionally.

Also, we both have to sign this permission slip.

Although we interpreted the theme a bit differently

Altoids, butterscotch candy,

America's number one doggy daddy.

An old boarding school chum,

And a college education!

And a little bit to Baz Luhrmann.

And a man who dated Betsy Ross.

And a man, I might add a very short man.

And a store to support.

And a willingness to eat anything you cook.

And after I read it, I knew I'd jacked my last courtesy shuttle.

And all his briny shoggoths,

And all they can do is stare blankly.

And as God is my witness,

And by an excess of cataracts.

And coated with powdered diamond.

And consummated on my floor floor

And could you move a little to your left?

And Dead Man Chalking.

And deliver me some egg rolls.

And do the word search on the kids' menu.

And don't forget, we have a baby and an iguana.

And everyone left the hot tub

And face down their demons.

And finally earn the town's respect.

And for some reason, we're going back to Kamp Krusty.

And get me a quarter ton of lake ice.

And getting drunk on a boat

And go to work at, well, the sexiest nuclear plant on Earth.

And Grampa?

And Hanoi Honey Barbecue Banh Mi Pho furter.

And he was never heard from again.

And he was whipping me so hard.

And her point value?

And I am here with the legendary Nurple Purpler Nelson Muntz.

And I didn't bother to check.

And I handled it as well as a freshman at Michigan State!

And I respect that.

And I used you to escape from the home

And I want to break out of our rut,

And I wanted to make the dope feel like a dingus.

And I worry you drink too much beer.

And I'd wager five million on it.

And I'll be darned if this sad wino

And I'll start by leaving my hair mussed up.

And I'm stuck window shopping

And I'm with Homer Simpson, a man who just stole a caboose.

And I've never been good at zipping up dresses.

And I've never gotten over you.

And if you turn me down,

And it changed my life.

And it said...

And it's silly for me to...

And it's the greatest feeling I've ever had!

And it's wrong to take advantage of the elderly.

And Jacuzzis full of brisket.

And left the store satisfied.

And Lisa's only "B." Super joy.

And Maggie, when we visit Gil,

And make it snappy.

And maybe bloodshot eyes.

And maybe not so precious?

And most of his invitees are either dead or fictional.

And my heart is palpitating.

And never tell them the other exists?!

And next week, we will have the MRT,

And next week, we will have the MRT,

And no one goes to Heaven.

And no one pays those prices.

And nobody crashes my party.

And Nongender Normative Malibu Stacy.

And not a hint of mischief.

And not worry about ratings?

And now I'm glad everything's all right.

And now we've got nothing.

And now, Itchy and Scratchy

And one for the doctor.

And possibly a scofflaw

And presiding over it all was me,

And promised him the box to live in.

And she could leave on her own.

And sign up for another free trial under a new e mail.

And since we're family, we don't talk!

And so... Aw, I didn't get it.

And still retain the ability to function.

And that's amore.

And that's why I invited you here.

And the dog gives us all the love we could handle.

And the girl thinks she's Queen of the May.

And the kids are still having fun at the park with Grampa.

And the king of a hip hop empire.

And the pursuit of a goose.

And the thing I love about you most

And the Williams sisters.

And there he is, the living logo of Golden Goose Records,

And these weren't just any hot dogs...

And they both have different sleep schedules.

And three wolves!

And throw everything out, think of the kids.

And throw it away. HOMER: Boring!

And to keep him, I'll give up beer.

And to prove it, here's something I drew last night.

And to prove it, I'm eating a carrot.

And trust me, I know cheap.

And underwear 'cause this dress is mighty short.

And use it as an excuse to meet me?

And vote!

And we forgot to bring diapers.

And we're really gonna need some laughs then

And when I say never, I mean forever.

And when they do, Old Sam the Sign Hanger

And which courthouse we surrendered at

And why, if you were trying to be close,

And write your name on your drink cup,

And you call yourself a veterinarian. Ha.

And you did, you became even more horrible.

And you have any flair at all,

And you know what we found inside?

And you played it on the jukebox.

And you.

And you're a tone deaf pauper who lives in a grave.

And you're gonna write it.

And you're wrong now.

And your older, smarter brother is going to help you.

And, uh, this Piccadilly Circus walkup is his wife.

And... I want my camera back.

Angela's Ashes, centuries of troubles.

Any time we step behind a wall.

Anybody got a quarter?

Anyone with, you know, I don't know, um,

Anything but that!

Anyway, when the canoe flipped, I made my getaway.

APP: I was never here.

APP: Turn left.

APP: Turn left. Don't look at me.

Apparently, I'm their leader now.

Are all dead.

Are covered in barbeque sauce.

Are going to be taxed at the same rate as ordinary income.

Are roaming the playground.

Are these from the gas station?

Are they worth anything?

Are you a cashier or a psychiatrist?

Are you going to the Allens'

Are you gonna let him do that?

Are you happy with your romantic life?

Are you hearing yourself?

Are you here for my pig?

Are you Montgomery Burns, the despised billionaire?

Are you nuts? You had Dean Cain!

Are you sure you're not spending too much money?

Are you the host of this incredible soiree?

Aren't we just supposed to do the stories we want

As far as the eye could see.

As sporting men are wont to do.

As the dog loving capital of the world.

As the tea dissolves this sugar.

As we agreed.

At least based on the cheers you got at employee karaoke night.

At least it's of natural causes.

At long last, I'm Mr. Plow!

At Monty Burns' Middle Hampton estate."

At my insistence, I will keep you at a distance.

At my sister's house!

At the dog's bed?

At your old summer place?

Attaboy!

Aw, good boy

Aw, good doggy.

Aw, he eats the same way I do,

Aw, I have never been more glad

Aw, I'll row you over.

Aw, maybe now I can finish my novel.

Aw, that is really, really sad.

Aw, there are too many award shows.

Aw!

Aw.

Aw.

Aw.

Aw.

Aw.

B flat, C, D flat...

Baby, I'm sorry.

Back in a flash, Grandmama.

Bah!

Bam!

Bart here will walk you to the bus stop.

Bart was a gigolo.

Bart, are you coming?

Bart, get in here and feel this stock.

Bart, I've seen that shed before!

Bart, what were you up to?

BART: Ay, caramba!

BART: Heaven

BART: His name was Charlie.

BART: I know what you're thinking

BART: I realized she had me pick her up four days in a row

BART: In fights with your children, I take your side.

BART: It might've felt more like a lie

BART: Let's see.

BART: Mom! Dad!

BART: Nippley

BART: Oh, bequeath...

BART: Okay,

BART: Quiet! We tipped over in the rapids.

BART: So that's it

BART: This is WJZZ, Springfield Elementary's

BART: We'll be free to do whatever we want.

Bart?

Basically, I'm just watching it like the rest of you.

Basically, it was when you were born.

Baz, you belong with the Flanders.

Be gone, urchin. We have work to do.

Be mad at the world?

Because I am a nice guy,

Because I know you're so loyal to me,

Because I smell like lamb, Lou.

Because I was high on poster paint fumes.

Because I've got birthday checks to deposit.

Because it's the greatest game ever.

Because that a dog is a therapy animal.

Because the game is good for him.

Because they spent too much on the award show.

Because you're the lottery ticket

Because, in dogs, we see the things we wish

Because...

Before he was Jay G, he was Jeremy Gilroy,

Before that card didn't work.

Before the old man realizes what's what.

Being a douche.

Being nice and safe in jail

Being the perfect grandson.

Bequeath, bequeath.

Bessie, have I seen your grandkids in church?

BESSIE: Oh..

Between our companies.

Between the last tycoon of the Jazz Age

Bigger than Jesus, okay?

Biotch! (honks)

Blake, I have to say, this whale watch

Blake, I really believed you could change.

Blake, is that you?

Bone broth brittle?

Book now for Christmas.

Books and checks that's all I sign.

Boom shakalaka.

Boom.

Boss wants to see you.

BOTH: Excellent.

Box seats.

Boy oh boy, a '20s shindig at Old Man Burnsie's.

Boy, I really don't want to get rid of the pig.

Boy, the "putting him in a coma" idea

Boy, who knew you'd look so great in a strapless dress?

BOYS: ♪ Buy us some water ♪

Brant... Brant here pour something for you.

Bring up the couch.

Broke?

Broke? Me?

Brothers in avarice.

BUDGIE: Dr. Budgie warned them.

Bumblebee Man, ¿cómo está?

BURNS (coughing): ♪ After the ball is over ♪

BURNS (over P.A.): Attention.

BURNS: Come on, Simpson.

BURNS: Prepare for

BURNS: What are you up to, Nigel?

But a lot of people would kill for these licenses.

But a storm is brewing over the home of...

But after that, ashes.

But after the eighth pan, it tasted like ashes.

But all cakes are pieces of something bigger.

But aren't you gonna get in trouble for missing work?

But aren't you gonna get in trouble for missing work?

But but I was supposed to redeem myself

But but without it, I'm nippley.

But could I really do that to Homer?

But did they listen to Dr. Budgie?

But do you know what says "yes"?

But don't tell, because they'll make me miss school.

But don't worry, I'll have your swine taken care of

But for calming down, I prefer my mama's methods.

But he never said anything about second parts

But I always believed people cared about a human being

But I can come right home.

But I didn't want the other workers

But I feel bad leaving Mr. Burns. I'm all he's got.

But I feel good about it.

But I got over it.

But I love those chicken asses!

But I still agree to be mummified with you if you pass.

But I want to, um, hang out.

But I want you to give it to Marge.

But I was the only friend he had left in the world

But I wasn't having that.

But I'm afraid not so much lately.

But I'm four loops away from finishing my potholder.

But I'm having a little celebration of my own.

But I'm really sorry.

But I'm the only one who takes care of him.

But if you don't have one, the lady at the car wash

But it's only... No!

But it's your name! It's as if Macy's didn't sell Mace!

But know this: Jay G ain't all that.

But my pig has to stay outside, like a common snowman?

But my saxophone no longer gives me joy.

But not today.

But not you.

But now you're a cheap, old lamewad.

But once I got out here by myself, completely free,

But one is always his favorite.

But she left this morning.

But that's everything I got.

But that's more than I make now!

But the day I met you, I had them.

But the fun of the game is catching them, not buying them.

But the rest of it's good, right?

But the second one is devastating.

But there is good news at the end of that pain bow.

But there was a hole in me that even a thousand pans

But there was another kid with us.

But these are Double Stuf at best.

But they had a falling out,

But they have to accept it.

But they're so far away.

But this is no time to argue.

But until his inglés gets just a little bit better,

But we still have a little more gas.

But what about a Marine Corps veteran?

But why?

But you called me your "Little H Dog," remember?

But you don't have to advertise it.

But you don't leave the lid off a pickle jar like her.

But you're right about everything else

But, in America, we have storage lockers,

Buy a candle and I'll tell you.

By $100,000.

By a budget summer camp.

By a well heeled backer.

By every one of these places.

By Hate Squad, featuring the Rhyme Crime All Stars.

By partnering with Caligula's World Family Entertainment.

By which I mean he can't end up in your smoker.

Can be sure to be seen at.

Can I bring anyone a...?

Can I eat the cherry first?

Can I pet your pig?

Can I put Homer's pillows under my butt?

Can we still hike sometimes?

Can we talk about something else?

Can you cover for me?

Can you hand me your mic?

Can you just take one look at our darling daughters?

Can you kids keep a secret?

Can you talk to your mother?

Can't believe I missed that.

Can't stop, I have to hit one of them.

Can't we have a peace... of pizza?

Can't we live off the money from your store?

Can't you at least open it so I can find out what it is?

Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH

Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH

Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH

Car door handles,

Case dismissed.

Catahoula Leopard Dog, Lagotto Romagnolo,

Cha cha cha?

Cha cha ching!

Change your mind?

CHARLIE: I'm a grown up! I can swim!

Charlie! You're alive!

Charlie? Did he have a red vest?

Cheap hats? You ruined Sunday dinner

Check out these sweet mane combs.

Check your contract.

Chewie is what I call my mouth.

Chewie, we're home.

Chief Wiggum, can't a man enjoy

Chief Wiggum, maybe I can defuse the situation.

Chief, why are you letting him leave?

Chimps have no tails?!

CHORUS: ♪ The Simpsons. ♪

Coaster, thank you for your service.

Cobbler.

Collie, dachshund, Tibetan Mastiff,

Combing is murder!

Come back! Everyone needs to watch the musical!

Come here, spy.

Come on out. I won't hurt ya.

Come on, mister.

Come on. Pull. Come on.

Come with me.

Come with me. Is it related?

Comedy can be so surprising.

Commence ripping!

Coproduced a failed revenge rap,

Could it have changed him for the better?

Could the stenographer read that last part back

Covered in grave dirt.

CROWD (chanting): Gil, Gil, Gil, Gil,

CROWD: Aw...

CROWD: Huh? Wha?!

CROWD: Nobody!

CROWD: None of us!

CROWD: Quo!

CROWD: Yes, you can!

D'oh!

D'oh!

D'oh!

D'oh!

D'oh!

D'oh!

D'oh!

D'oh!

D'oh.

Dad, did Mr. Burns cheap out?

Dad, maybe she'll sign a menu.

Dad, we don't have time for this.

Dad, what are we doing?!

Dad, why are you making me hide things from Mom?

Dad!

Dad's hanging out with a hip hop super producer,

Daddy's got your oatmeal.

Dalmatian, fire department.

Damn it, I need time to think here.

Damn it, Monty, I don't want to die.

Damn it, we're even being beaten by Jimbo's podcast.

Damn it! I'm not giving him to you!

Damn, I didn't think you had it in you, M.B.

Damn, I didn't think you had it in you, M.B.

De fuse. Huh.

Deal. Uh oh.

Dear God, so many times

Death to tennis camp!

Detention has many names.

Diagonals! That's where "race car" was hiding.

Did I.

Did it sound like she was talking through her throat?

Did this junk bring me joy?

Did you swallow the cheese and not the pill?

Did you want to buy that?

Didn't always used to be like this. No, no.

Didn't happen.

Do I hear $50,000?

Do I know you?

Do they have diagonals?

Do unto Snickers as you would have Snickers do unto you.

Do you even know what that means? Do you?

Do you know what kids get after a scary experience?

Do you know what you've done?

Do you really want it?

Do you self gratify?

Do you think Mr. Burns learned anything from all this?

Do you think they'll send Dad away forever?

Does that mean anything?

Does the defendant ask this court

Does this beverage coaster give me joy?

Doesn't look like your god.

Doesn't look like your god.

Doesn't mean you can cut.

Doggy heaven isn't real?

Dogs are born to follow and obey.

Dogs are nice. I love dogs.

Dogs in cages.

Don't be so hard on yourself.

Don't feel weird doing drugs in front of me.

Don't forget to sign it.

Don't forget your gift bag!

Don't leave anything up here! We will not be back!

Don't let it be forgot that on this shining spot

Don't lick my face the makeup's lead based.

Don't look at me.

Don't misunderstand me,

Don't push your luck.

Don't take my mother, I need her to make me French toast!

Don't take too long.

Don't tell anyone, I plan to off myself.

Don't tell me,

Don't want to.

Don't you love Grandparents' Day?

Don't you understand?

Don't you worry. A posse's loyalty is forever.

Doomed.

Dr. Budgie warned all of them.

Duffman has got it.

Each of my enterprises has its own G6.

Eating is to me what drinking is to me.

Ed Litzenberger, captain;

Egg yolks scare me...

Eh, I saw him.

Eh, I'm having a fight

Eh, I'm just a man who enjoys his job.

Eh, not that much.

Eh, she's got it all. Hair that goes on forever...

Eh, too far.

En tidy ment? I thought this family meeting

Enjoy the show.

Enjoy your game from which I do not make a dime.

Er, uh, arf.

Especially that time I fell down a slippery slope.

Even I'm baffled by the toilet payment system.

Even my beloved nuclear plant.

Even though he did nothing wrong.

Ever made outside of Arizona

Ever since I took his girl to see Lunardi's balloon.

Ever wonder how many worlds are out there, Homie?

Every day will now include a moment of musical appreciation.

Every police regulation says "no,"

Everyone knows that.

Everyone, down below the belt! Move, move, move!

Everything I am I owe to you.

Everything, sir?

Excellent.

Excellent.

Excellent.

Excellent.

Excellent. Now, Doctor, the matter of your bill...

Excellent. Simpson, I'm giving you a raise.

Except for Ringo, Princess Margaret, and me.

Except for the Johnsons', who I need to speak to privately.

Except physically.

Excuse me there, Simpson.

Excuse me. Coming through. Working out issues.

Experienced Peekimon searchers.

Fancy a bite of roast Goosius?

Far? Babe, when you whale watch with me,

Farewell, darling. You take the sun with you.

Fascinating.

Fascinating.

Faster!

Fat man begins

Featuring the Rhyme Crime All Stars hate you!

Feel like their number is the furthest from being called.

Feeling like his best years had passed him by.

Fellas! What can we do here?

Fill his office with balloons? Too soft.

Fill his office with scorpions?

Fine, just the dog ones.

Fine, then I'll kill it myself. (gasps)

Fine. But we can't go out alone.

Fine. Fine, jelly beans.

Fine. Plus five opioids.

Finnish Spitz, Norwegian Lundehund,

First of all, it's Marge.

First the kids are screwed up, and now our marriage is?

First time a worm ever killed a bird.

Fists against the hologram,

Five dollars.

Five dollars. No, no, no, no, no.

Five Krusty Burgers. No tomato.

Flanders ruins baseball.

FLANDERS: ♪ Take me out to the ball game, Lord ♪

Fling the bling, spill them bills.

Fold up bicycles, and go.

For a basketball lesson with Charles Barkley?

For cheap hats?!

For Funniest Vanity Plate,

For gettin' what's mine.

For her, I gave up what meant most to me:

For however long dogs live.

For making all your lives better.

For money!

For our grandma?

For primo grooming time.

For school clothes.

For Springfield Elementary School Radio, WSES.

For Springfield's haunted houses, Moe Szyslak.

For the fifth time today, I am not a diving platform!

For the next couple of days.

For the sheer joy of it,

For thine is the flower and the gravy forever.

For those yachts that have little submarines in them.

For what?

For you,

For you, Grandmama.

Forget it, Lou. It's Chili Town.

Fortunately, my ladies like to be called anything but.

Fortunes were won and lost at my tables.

Found her!

Frankly, that's a white person problem.

Fred Hamilton. Window six

From my cognac flavored vodka

From now on we're an open book.

From someone whose manners are in the bottom one percent!

From such different backgrounds could end up as chums?

From the power plant he loves.

From the Sunnyday Nursing Home.

From the writing team of...

From this day hence, this beautiful creature

From this point forth, this town will be known

Fruit? (sighs)

Fruit?! What a nightmare!

Gam Gam Gam.

Gam Gam.

Gave it all away. Nothing brings me joy.

Gee, I didn't realize

Geez, I was thinking about taking him shopping

Geez, there's a lot of donuts when you get in early.

Geez, there's a lot of spaces when you get in early.

Geez! I thought my stories were long.

Gentlemen, I'm a so tired of all the bad a blood

GERTIE (through electrolarynx): Hello, sweetie, I didn't know

Get 'em quick, before they're Sai gone!

Get me files on Pete Sampras

Get out! You're harshing my clinic.

Get the ham!

Get your best coffin suit, 'cause you're goin'.

Gil, Gil, Gil, Gil, Gil,

Gil, Gil!

GIL: Ow! Damn it!

Gil? Why are you helping these people

Give me more ideas to get back at Jay G.

Give me your phone.

Give me your sweater.

Go ahead, Reverend. Start at "Dearly beloved."

Go. Go with God.

Goes right by the candy store, eh?

Goes through the roof.

Golden raisins, just the way you like 'em, baby.

Gonna do the unthinkable.

Gonna go to work early.

Good bye, Bart.

Good bye, Businesswoman Malibu Stacy,

Good bye, loneliness.

Good bye.

Good day.

Good Lord, how is he overpowering my P.A. system?

Good luck. It's tempered titanium

Good morning, Momo.

Good night.

Good Simpson. Faithful Simpson.

Good to see you, Mr. Mayor.

Good, good. Not that many mistakes at all.

Goosey!

Goosius is on everything

Goosius. (honks)

Got delayed at the border.

Got it, and no.

Got it.

Got it.

Got it.

Got it.

Got it.

Got to be a quarter, not two dimes and a nickel.

Gotcha! Where am I?

Gram Gram.

Grampa, I called to make sure the kids are okay.

Great Gatsby!

Great, I'll set something up. Erin, are you on?

Ha ha ho! Thank you, Galileo.

Ha ha! I'm joking. Unless you want to.

Ha, no way.

Ha! I'm free!

Ha. You hear that?