💬 Three's Company

A going away party for one of the girls.

A little thou?

A loan approval doesn't depend on how you

A ma A man, a guy, asleep in the bathtub.

A man up there? In women's clothes?

A month.

A motel?

A receipt.

A terrific understanding of my problems.

A what?

Aah, ow, ow, ow...

Aah, the life you lead.

About a certain matter of, uh, sex.

About all that noise you were making last night.

About my father and that ruined it.

About that French food that I ate last night.

After all, who's the man around here?

After what they did to me, no, I’m not taking them any place.

Ah, ah see, they don't know that I gave it to them.

Ah, ha, hot Hot. [ Laughter ]

Ah, hold it. Hold it. Hold it.

Ah, I can't imagine anybody forgetting a thing like that.

Ah, more like a chimp. [ Laughter ]

Ah, this rubber bone I forgot to give it to Jack.

Ah, you've got a soft spot, too, right here.

Ah.

Ain't checked in yet.

All by itself did you?

All night, but I also find time to pick up part time jobs.

All right, captain Queeg,

All right, I will.

All right, no, with an explanation.

All right, shall we go into the kitchen?

All right, Stanley, how did you just happen to be peeping

All right, where is he?

All right, which one of us is going to go up and complain?

All right, you guys, knock it off!

All right.

All right. I'll invite them out to dinner.

All those young girls. You're not up to it.

Am i? Well, we just haven't seen each other much lately.

An advance out of him?

And And if you don't mind a stupid question, who are you?

And contented. [ Laughter ]

And green.

And he likes to read in there.

And he wanted to get rid of this litter of pups so I took one.

And I don't know nothing.

And I need some carrots.

And I was hoping to save that until I got married.

And if anybody else is in there, that's her problem.

And if you don't pay the rent, they're going to throw you out

And just to clinch it, tell them you've got

And Mrs. Roper.

And since it's harder for a woman to get a loan then a man,

And talk, and talk

And that did it?

And that goes for all of you!

And that's giving him the business?

And the muggings?

And the one thing I’m concerned about with now

And there was nothing else missing?

And they talk about women.

And think up a better story than leaving $300 lying around

And this is Jack Tripper.

And this is Janet.

And this way we have visiting rights.

And to keep all that hidden.

And wake you up? [ Laughter ]

And warn her.

And we hope you'll be very happy here, dear.

And what a darling way to give him to me

And what's there to talk over, Janet?

And when he goes to bed, he wants to sleep.

And when I couldn't do that, I got so nervous,

And you in the same room with him?

And you, uh, kept this cash hanging around loose?

And you?

And you're not stopping me either.

And, I’m not going to charge for it, either.

And, uh [ Laughter ]

Anniversary?

Any genius could have done it. My specialty is

Any luck?

Anyone for coffee?

Anything for me?

Anything you say.

Anyway, it's not my responsibility, is it?

Are the scrambled eggs ready yet?

Are you crazy? Moving in with two girls?

Are you gonna see a show or anything?

Are you illegitimate?

Are you kidding?

Are you peeping at that blonde again?

Are you serious?

Are you still sulking about those kids walking out on you?

Are you sure it was a man, not a woman?

Are you sure that you know what you're doing?

Are you sure you want to stay here with all the crimes

Are you thinking what I’m thinking?

Aren't they beautiful?

As a matter of fact, I often have.

As far as I’m concerned, she's already got it.

Aw, come on, Stanley.

Bathroom?

Bathroom.

Because before I thought it was your underwear.

Because you already paid it.

Because your underpants have giraffes on them.

Before they throw parties like that.

Before you go sleep walking, Chrissy?

Besides maybe he just won't eat it.

Besides, I could see some little hairs on his chest,

Besides, I got to get home and make the cocoa for Omar Sharif.

Besides, this time I gave him the business.

Betray her you

Between Jack and us.

Boy, in that nightie she's really something.

Break up a few things, get rid of the TV,

Breakfast. You're just in time.

Burglars don't care about your sex life.

Burglars?

But first let's just talk it over.

But I just don't have $20.00 to throw away.

But I need to borrow some milk.

But if you gave it to them, they have to

But if you tell him that the money was stolen,

But it was a man.

But me and the wife are having a little disagreement

But not with added bone meal and marrow bone jelly.

But silly me, I can see they're ready for bed,

But the barmaid's not.

But then he'll know Jack's living here.

But underneath that little radio was an envelope

But you can't find them, but that's not quite

But you don't have to worry, Mrs. Roper,

But you move it around nicely.

But, uh, ooh, all that foul language.

By the way, how are those nice girls you room with?

Bye.

Call the police.

Can I tell them you're pregnant?

Can you think of a better way to dry them?

Careful, you're using up my hair there.

Charge for what?

Charlie, Bill, you stay outside, careful with those shot guns.

Chasing you around, you think you could get

Chocolate chip!

Chrissy

Chrissy is walking in her sleep again Come on!

Chrissy, Chrissy?

Chrissy, have you seen the puppy?

Chrissy, is that you?

Chrissy, is this the young man

Chrissy, the mailman is supposed to know who lives here.

Chrissy, the man is coming from the YMCA.

Chrissy, wait a minute!

Chrissy, what made, what made you think that, uh, Mrs. Roper

Chrissy, what's bothering you What's

Chrissy, where are you going?

Chrissy, would you bring Mrs. Roper some milk?

Chrissy, you're behaving very strangely.

Chrissy!

Chrissy! Chrissy!

Chrissy?

Chrissy.

Chrissy... Chrissy.

Come and get it.

Come back here.

Come in the kitchen and show me what you've got.

Come in, Mrs. Roper. [ Laughter ]

Come on in!

Come on, Kojak, why don't you just tell them why you came.

Come on, sit down.

Come on.

Coming to look at the apartment.

Coming up. [ Audience cat calls ]

Conduct your private life.

Could you get me a heaping tablespoon of milk?

Couldn't you knock?

Dear, dear. You know, sometimes I think it would be better

Department at my school.

Did you forget to lock the door?

Did you get another girl for her room?

Did you hear that?

Did you tell him about that French food I ate last night?

Do find it a trifle noisy in here, dear?

Do I have to?

Do me a favor will you? Give my wife the recipe.

Do what?

Do you always carry your pickled onions loose?

Do you have to walk around the house in your underwear?

Do you realize how long it takes me to save $300?

Do you remember the little things

Do you study cooking full time?

Do you think he's taking too much geritol?

Do you think you could do any better?

Do you want me to be? [ Laughter ]

Doesn't mean he's a crook. [ Laughter ]

Don't blow it for Chrissy.

Don't put yourself down, Stanley;

Don't say anything.

Don't spoil it. [ Laughter ]

Don't worry about me.

Don't you ever think of anything else?

Don't you have something to do?

Down at the art theater and I thought

Down, boy. [ Laughter ]

Easy. I just convinced him that nothing would happen

Eat your din Din.

Eggs madera fun chów, can you boil an egg?

Eighteen months?

Eleanor didn't like it either, that's why she left it behind.

Eleanor must hate me.

Eleanor, yeah, she had a boy.

Even so, you can't move in here.

Even though I go in there with ten impeccable references.

Eventually, uh, I’m hoping to open up a little restaurant

Ever since he guessed the "Star Spangled Banner" in seven notes.

Every time you think you think you're doing the right thing,

Except Charlie; he suddenly came into a lot of money.

Fake?

Fantastic.

First, let's just get one little thing straight.

Followed by "Charlie’s Angels."

For a glass of wine.

For a lot more money.

For me.

For people who can really appreciate high prices.

Fred, listen carefully, take the muzzle off of the Doberman.

Fred?

French.

From Fresno to Los Angeles.

From last night.

Get out of here.

Girlfriend? Look, look

Girls got to have some fun.

Give me the screwdriver. [ Laughter ]

Gladly. [ Laughter ]

Glass of that terrible punch and then everything went black.

Go cure your hiccups.

Go, now back to bed.

Good lord, is it morning?

Good morning, Chrissy.

Good morning.

Good night, Chrissy.

Good night, honey.

Good night, Jack.

Good night, Janet.

Good night, John boy.

Good night, mom.

Good night, Mrs. Roper.

Good night.

Good, go to sleep.

Good.

Good. Okay.

Good. Then just pretend your mother is my mother and do it.

Goodnight. [ Laughter ]

Gorgeous.

Got nothing to do with me!

Grab your coats and let's get out of here.

Great.

Happy anniversary, Mr. Roper.

Hard working young man.

Has already put in an eight hour shift.

Have a drink.

Have another beer.

Have her put to sleep.

Have to what?

Have you seen some of these new shows?

He came in to steal the bathtub and fell asleep on the job.

He could fix this without a ladder Just fly up here.

He could sleep in our room.

He dictates too fast?

He didn't even read us our rights.

He dumped my dinner down the sink!

He dumped my dinner down the sink.

He is the boss!

He knows everything.

He said he wanted me for a friend.

He said I was in perfect shape.

He says it kills two birds with one stone.

He thinks He thinks queen Victoria was a swinger.

He touched my bosoms. [ Laughter ]

He wanted to know how much my father made for a living.

He was beating on the ceiling with a broom handle.

He was looking in our bedroom window and yawning.

He was wearing a girl's dressing gown, but he didn't fool me.

He won't believe us.

He won't even remember it's our anniversary.

He would be good protection for us around the house.

He would enjoy throwing us out.

He'll be back as soon as he figures it out.

He'll believe it.

He's housebroken. [ Laughter ]

He's in the bathroom.

He's kind of nice, though.

He's really flipped out.

He's trying to invite you out to dinner tonight?

He's trying to tell you someone's ringing the doorbell.

He's very good looking.

Heaping?

Heaven's no! And break your perfect record?

Helen, I’ll take care of you later.

Helen, lock that door.

Helen, stop him!

Helen.

Hello, Jack.

Hello, mother.

Hello.

Her labor pains started and they rushed her off

Here it is and hurry up, I’m really starving.

Here you go.

Here, would you take a look at this dog food?

Here, you can put this on.

Here.

Here's your problem right here.

Hey Lar

Hey, don't you have any friends who can loan us some money?

Hey, don't you lock your door?

Hey, he doesn't have to know.

Hey, he won't do it You know?

Hey, she really likes you, you know.

Hey, wait a minute.

Hey, we can't let Roper eat dog food.

Hey, why don't we have a garage sale?

Hey, why don't you complain to his boss?

Hey, you can't go out like that.

Hey! That's a dog.

Hey.

Hey. Hey. Hey. [ Laughter ]

Hi, here you are.

Hi, Jack, come on in.

Hi, Jack!

Hi, Larry, we were just talking about you!

Hi, what a surprise.

Hi!

Hi.

Hi. [ Laughter ]

Hi. How you doing there?

Hi. Tripper, Jack Tripper. I'm moving in here.

Him huh All I get from him is one grunt for yes,

Him in the same room with us?

Him? No, he's not the one.

His secretary's out sick and I’m substituting for her this week.

Hmm?

Hold it.

Hold it. Hold it.

Honest Larry The used car salesman?

How 'bout you, what do you do?

How about a cookie?

How about that?

How about you, Janet, can you get a loan?

How come I opened the front door without a key?

How did that puppy get down there?

How did you do that?

How did you get him to change his mind?

How do you do?

How long has this been going on?

How long?

How many times have you pulled this stunt?

How much longer do I have to stay here?

How nice.

How you doing?

How you doing? Nice to see you.

How?

How'd they get away this time?

How'd they get loose?

How's father?

Huh?

Huh? I I don't know. I I Last thing I remember I had a

Huh? Oh, uh...

Hum?

I I wanted to see what the weather was like.

I almost broke my neck on this garbage can.

I always Do you think I would take something

I always have trouble getting loans,

I always say it's little homey touches that make a home homier.

I am?

I beg your pardon?

I beg your pardon? Don't even sound like a girl.

I believe you.

I bet that put a damper on their news.

I better get him to bed while he's still moving.

I broke in your cab, but if you keep all the windows open,

I came with a friend who knew one of the gate crashers.

I can imagine what it must be like.

I can.

I can't afford any place else unless I can find someone

I can't argue with that. [ Laughter ]

I can't budge the window and it's raining.

I can't let you eat that, Mr. Roper.

I can't tell. I'm used to seeing it pregnant.

I can't, he's in jail.

I couldn't, I just I just couldn't live in the same house

I counted six places she's gone already.

I decided it was up to me, so here I am.

I did not fall asleep.

I didn't hear nothing, I didn't see nothing,

I didn't hear that, either.

I didn't know your teeth were giving you trouble, Jack.

I didn't mind all the music,

I didn't think you could hear it over your snoring.

I don't allow that.

I don't believe in biting off more than I can chew.

I don't care what you say Stanley, it's a him.

I don't care whose mother

I don't get a chance to practice much at the YMCA.

I don't get it.

I don't have any collateral.

I don't hear any water running.

I don't know how to do that quietly.

I don't know she can make it down those steps asleep.

I don't know what you're talking about.

I don't know, Eleanor always did the cooking.

I don't know.

I don't remember.

I don't think the dog would mind.

I don't want another beer.

I don't want any explanation.

I don't want to be neighborly.

I don't want to go to bed, I want to watch "Name that Tune."

I don't want to talk about it.

I don't want you to leave this room.

I feel so sorry for the poor little thing.

I figure, what, $300.

I fixed that drain pipe.

I got news for you, Stanley, you've got competition.

I got to get to work, Janet.

I guess I’ll just to have to You know

I guess the little puppy will just have to go hungry.

I had to be the best in school, the best in bible class

I have a very light beard.

I have a very sensitive finger. [ Laughter ]

I have to catch the 10:45 bus back to Fresno.

I haven't spoken to a soul in this whole day.

I heard.

I hope it's all right.

I hope you got something good to eat.

I just came here to tell you

I just gave it to you yesterday.

I just opened my mouth and screamed.

I just think if he's coming to live here,

I just want to get to the bottom of this.

I just want to make his room more attractive.

I just want yes or no.

I knew it.

I know I work a six hour school day and I have to study

I know what I’m doing.

I know you Chrissy, you have a very low melting point.

I know, but Frank seemed so nice.

I know, now, just keep it down next time, okay?

I know. I know. You don't have to tell me.

I like it already.

I mean the stuff she feeds ain't fit for a dog.

I mean he'll give it to someone else.

I mean if he finds out I’m living with a guy

I mean they don't look real. [ Laughter ]

I mean they're always here somewhere

I mean those items are not exactly missing,

I mean, anybody can see that those aren't real.

I mean, burglars would think it was a trick and not come in.

I mean, everywhere you look at her, she's a girl.

I mean, he will have to get rid of it somehow

I mean, I know there's not a lot of you,

I mean, I think he'd make a terrific roommate.

I mean, just a little bit of sweet talk and you fall apart.

I mean, this is a college, not a monastery.

I mean, what did she expect me to do, hit a homerun?

I mean, you look wonderful. [ Laughter ]

I must of gone up and down that ladder 50 times today.

I must've been sleep walking again.

I need time to think it over. I'll take it.

I never made punch before. [Water running]

I promise I’ll pay back the loan.

I ran out of clean shorts.

I read it last night in bed.

I really appreciate this, Mr. Travis.

I saw him plain as anything.

I shall return, meanwhile, make yourselves beautiful for me.

I should've laid right into him.

I shouldn't have let him push me around, you know,

I shouldn't stick my nose into other people's doors.

I started walking in my sleep.

I still think that Why are you watering the table?

I sure hope Jack likes them.

I sure hope that baby doesn't keep them awake at night

I think I have some in my bed.

I think I’d better go down and stop him.

I think so.

I think that we should add up the pluses and the minuses.

I think your onions are overheating.

I thought he must be away since you let me have his room.

I thought I flushed that down the drain.

I thought so.

I thought you took it to bed with you.

I thought you'd never ask.

I thought you'd object.

I tried.

I wa On the other hand, I don't want to be unreasonable.

I waited until I saw Mrs. Roper pick it up.

I want my own bed.

I want you to talk to your roommate, Chrissy,

I was enjoying the view from the rear.

I was going to come down.

I was going to go shopping.

I was going to go to the beauty parlor.

I was going to have a walk on the beach, but I’m giving

I was just passing by and I thought I’d knock.

I was just telling the girls what attractive

I was up there. I know what I saw.

I was watching television with my eyes closed.

I wasn't going to.

I wasn't napping in my arm chair.

I went straight for the pages with the corners turned down.

I wonder what game is going on up there?

I wonder what he's up to this time.

I wonder why they didn't take the TV.

I work in a pool?

I wouldn't have minded if I’d been invited.

I wouldn't live under your roof for all the tea

I, uh, this This Is horrible.

I'd rather take a bath. [ Laughter ]

I'd rather you ate off the table.

I'll be out here with you gals chin wagging.

I'll do it.

I'll eat some of this French Uh whatever you call it.

I'll explain later, Mr. Roper.

I'll fix it later, unless the interior decorator here

I'll fix you something else.

I'll fix you something to eat.

I'll get it myself.

I'll get it.

I'll go as soon as my nails are dry.

I'll go in first, if they have any sense,

I'll go look anyway.

I'll have a couple of

I'll just dump this down the sink here.

I'll just put these in my room.

I'll pay you somehow Here.

I'll see ya, you old softie.

I'll see.

I'm afraid so, dear.

I'm as normal as Mr. Roper.

I'm awake and I fall down. [ Laughter ]

I'm caddying.

I'm Chrissy.

I'm Chrissy’s mother. I'm sleeping here tonight.

I'm cured My hiccups are gone.

I'm fine, thank you.

I'm glad to hear it.

I'm going to undress, I’m going to climb into my bed,

I'm going up there and I’m going to bounce him

I'm going.

I'm gonna stick with the stew.

I'm here to fix your doorbell.

I'm hoping to.

I'm just glad that you weren't hurt, that's all.

I'm kind of bushed, and I’d like to go to bed.

I'm not an interior decorator.

I'm not gonna lose any sleep over a stupid little puppy!

I'm not in the mood to experiment.

I'm not shouting!

I'm not?

I'm so glad you changed your mind.

I'm so hungry I could eat a horse!

I'm sorry I misjudged you.

I'm sorry to bust in on you like this.

I'm sorry, if I can just get to the kitchen for a moment

I'm sorry, it's those four glasses of (hiccup) beer.

I'm sorry, Jack.

I'm sorry.

I'm starved.

I'm still saving.

I'm studying to be a chef at the L.A. Technical college.

I'm such an idiot.

I'm sure I will.

I'm taking a shower.

I'm telling you, Helen, it was a woman.

I'm the one who phoned in about the stolen money.

I've been hearing a lot of whimpering.

I've been walking behind you since you got off the bus.

I've come to look at your apartment.

I've got a sure fire method for curing this.

I've got a thought.

I've got an early class tomorrow Not tonight.

I've got something that will take your mind off of it.

I've had it.

I've kept the plug in it ever since.

I've only got one thing worth selling

If he fetches [ Laughter ]

If I can save $20 a

If I had any money I’d go to a hotel,

If it were my bags, you would have to carry them.

If my father were poor and starving,

If Roper catches you, he'll sell you to the burger joint

If she finds out I mean two girls living in an apartment

If the guys at the gym could see me now

If they would move out, I could rent that apartment

If we keep this dog, Mr. Roper will cancel our lease.

If we stick him in a broom closet he will feel at home.

If you must you must. [ Laughter ]

If you'd go away, I’d give a party.

If you're chicken, I’ll go.

In an envelope marked "rent."

In her nightgown.

In our underwear.

In return, like, uh, well, take them out to dinner.

In the morning and I saw her walking around half naked

In the street.

In this neighborhood lately.

In your father's church magazine.

Interesting doorbell.

Is he a friend of yours?

Is not gonna work here, man.

Is she really still asleep?

Is that all?

Is that where you're staying?

Is the bed big enough for the three of us?

Is the sleep walking, though.

Is there anything else missing?

Is when he gets a side order with his big mac.

Isn't he something?

Isn't that brilliant?

Isn't that good?

Isn't that right, Chrissy?

Isn't there, uh, another girl who lives with you?

It It'd be fun.

It is not the spare bed, it is my bed and I’m going back.

It started out as scrambled eggs.

It was a her. [ Laughter ]

It was her wedding reception and I ruined it.

It was in a big white envelope with the word "rent"

It was like reading a gourmet menu at a health farm.

It was probably just a misunderstanding.

It wasn't loose.

It'll brighten things up for him.

It'll give me a rest from your cooking.

It's a beef borgignon [ laughter ]

It's a gourmet dish.

It's a her.

It's a him.

It's a mistake anybody could make.

It's a pub just like they have in England.

It's a real load off my mind, believe me.

It's against his religion. [ Laughter ]

It's all right. It's all right. Son,

It's all you can do to keep the pot boiling down here.

It's all your fault, you know, you made the punch.

It's been a long time since you laid your finger on me.

It's for the puppy.

It's French!

It's going to be painful.

It's good for the teeth.

It's just You know how you are.

It's just a flesh wound, I’ll be fine.

It's Mr. Roper.

It's Mrs. Roper.

It's my favorite drink before going to bed.

It's not his dictation It's his hands.

It's not me, I never moved. [ Laughter ]

It's not my fault, Eleanor didn't leave the recipe.

It's only horse meat.

It's probably Larry trying to sell some used ear plugs.

It's right over here on this empty shelf.

It's such a relief to know that you have a man to protect you.

It's supposed to be in there.

It's the best I could do under these primitive conditions.

It's the cutest little anniversary present

It's the last time you'll be seeing her.

It's the only thing we have that'll fit you.

It's the pub for us again.

It's the Ropers.

It's the thought that counts.

It's time somebody's chimes were rung in this house.

It's wonderful.

Jack made it. It's beef borgignon.

Jack, as a student here all you have to prove is need.

Jack, Chrissy walked in her sleep last night

Jack, Jack, this is the '70s, for heaven's sake.

Jack, would you mind closing it?

Jack, you wouldn't be Jack Tripper?

Jack?

Jack.

Janet

Janet and Eleanor, isn't it?

Janet just explained it to us,

Janet works in a flower shop, isn't that exciting?

Janet, I’ve just been in the bathroom.

Janet, that little puppy could not climb

Janet, there's a phone call for you.

Janet, you've got to do something.

Just in case. [ Laughter ]

Just stamping out Jack's name for the mailbox.

Just to leave the front door open.

Just what I always wanted.

Keep him out?

Larry

Larry, hey, that horror story stuff

Larry, it's about the dog

Larry, please, we just can't have a dog!

Larry, we are not allowed to have any pets.

Larry, you're gonna have to take this dog back.

Larry! [ Laughter ]

Larry?

Larry's not gonna take that dog back

Last night?

Let me see what you've got in here.

Let's check first.

Let's go eat.

Let's go.

Let's move the plants.

Let's see.

Letting him think I’m gay?

Like Like a couple of, uh oh, oh.

Like I was saying, I told the wife, you know,

Like you and me, Stanley.

Listen, Jack, how would you like

Little loveable, little

Little thing can't sleep.

Loans.

Look at Mr. Roper.

Look at that crack in the ceiling.

Look at that.

Look at this It's your favorite kind

Look here's my receipt book right here.

Look I’m sorry, I understand your problem.

Look what happened with Frank.

Look, aren't those pretty?

Look, I don't care whether you believe me or not,

Look, I will be on my best behavior, honest.

Look, I’m going down to the Regal Beagle

Look, I’m sorry about that jar of pickled onions

Look, I’m sorry, I’m going back to the apartment.

Look, officer, we are really in a bind here.

Look, we can explain.

Look.

Lying around?

Mainly from memory of course. [ Laughter ]

May as well.

Maybe Maybe we should just tell Roper.

Maybe Chrissy’s home.

Maybe he's a burglar. [ Laughter ]

Maybe I’d invite the girls to come along with me,

Maybe it slid down or fell under something.

Maybe it'll give Roper a nice glossy coat.

Maybe it's like shoe laces, if you don't tie the bows tight

Maybe not [ Laughter ]

Maybe she's taking a bath.

Maybe she's taking a shower.

Maybe there was something wrong with the gin.

Maybe they're hiding.

Maybe we can sell something.

Me I wasn't peeping.

Me move in here with you two?

Me, wear this? You've got to be kidding?

Me? Hey, it's your mother.

Me? I'm a decent, normal man.

Messy, messy!

Milk?

Milk.

Mind? I'm delighted!

Minus?

Minus.

Mm, mm, mm...

Mm, mm?

Mother, I wouldn't know an orgy if I fell over one.

Move 'em out. [ Laughter ]

Mr. Roper doesn't believe in charity.

Mr. Roper fixed our fridge, and you know how he fixes things.

Mr. Roper told me all about him.

Mr. Roper, I I have something I want to tell you,

Mr. Roper, would you like to step inside for just a moment?

Mr. Roper?

Mr. Travis, I really don't want that to bother you.

Mrs. Roper, I can't let you have that.

Mushrooms, an onion We'll start with that.

Must I? [ Laughter ]

My dinner's floating out to sea and you tell me

My friend, Larry, gave him to me.

My friends call me "Pattikins."

My grandmother's wedding ring.

My idea.

My luck.

My money.

My mother won't even know he's there.

My pleasure.

My poor feet.

My treat.

My wife doesn't.

Neither did I.

Never mind, never mind.

Never mind, that's fine.

Never mind. I'll I'll make my own.

Next time you want to fake a burglary, make it look real.

No actually, not all of us are interior decorators,

No definitely not. Definitely not.

No dogs or babies allowed.

No kidding?

No kidding.

No luck.

No mother, it's not as bad as it looks.

No one else is supposed to use it.

No sense in my going back home this late.

No thanks, i The what Beagle?

No they don't.

No they spilled out on the floor of the cab.

No, Chrissy, crying won't help anything.

No, I don't want to borrow a book.

No, I mean I’m Patricia Crawford,

No, I want to go home to my own room to sleep in my own bed.

No, I wore my robe

No, I wouldn't do that. What about the fleas?

No, I’d enjoy it.

No, I’m Chrissy Snow.

No, I’m not.

No, in Eleanor’s old room.

No, it's about him.

No, Jack! Not on the table!

No, Janet, I think you're very cute.

No, Mr. Roper, she didn't We did?

No, no loans, yes loans.

No, no, no, no, no It will not work.

No, no, no, no, this is a job for the man of the house.

No, no, no. [ Laughter ]

No, no, no. Before we rush into this

No, no, wait, whoa, whoa What about the 25 bucks?

No, no, we didn't get another girl.

No, no. I I never saw him before.

No, oh, no, no, no.

No, so he could be sure I couldn't.

No, thanks.

No, that was my wife's dinner.

No, that's clean.

No, that's just the way I left it.

No, the one I saw was completely Oh, no you're not.

No, the walls just got dirtier. [ Laughter ]

No, uh, Janet or Chrissy’s or my odd socks.

No, wait, you don't have to do that.

No, we didn't talk about you.

No, what I meant was that you're great looking.

No, you stay where you are.

No, you're forgetting, I took that to be repaired.

No?

No? I thought all you f fellows were.

No.

No. Ooh, but I can make one up from the party leftovers.

Nobody seems to want you.

Nobody's that stupid.

Not here.

Not in my building you're not.

Not in your case, Stanley.

Not Larry That old softie.

Not like that! Like this.

Not on my part.

Not quite I also told him that you were gay.

Not the mailman, my father.

Not to get excited? [ Laughter ]

Not to me they don't. [ Laughter ]

Not to Stanley.

Not tonight, oh.

Not your hand, the rent.

Nothing seems to be missing, Janet, so you have nothing

Nothing.

Now it defrosts every time we flush the toilet.

Now you can put me up for the night.

Now, Chrissy, what's making you walk in your sleep this time?

Now, don't get mad, Stanley.

Now, for my special touch I’ll need some bread crumbs.

Now, I have a lot of things I was going to do today.

Now, I want you to think very carefully.

Now, if she wants to walk in her sleep,

Now, there's just a few questions.

Now, uh, what does your other roommate do?

Now, wait, wait, don't panic.

Now, we've really had it.

Now, will you go down there and tell Mr. Roper that I promise

Now, will you stop kidding around?

Now?

Of "War and Peace" at the art theater?

Of course not.

Of course you can borrow some milk, Mrs. Roper.

Of course you can Mrs. Roper. [ Laughter ]

Of forcible entry.

Oh boy, I hope she doesn't keep walking all night.

Oh boy, just as i was dozing off.

Oh for heavens sakes Go get the dog.

Oh hey, honey, how about a game of darts?

Oh I do envy you, young people.

Oh my god. Oh, Jack! Jack!

Oh what a sweet little thing.

Oh what are we gonna do?

Oh yes, there's too much for us.

Oh you wanna go into the kitchen yourself Mrs. Roper?

Oh, a girlfriend spent the night here last night.

Oh, are you coming too?

Oh, as long as you live here.

Oh, boy, do I know what you mean, Chrissy.

Oh, boy, you really loused up that toast.

Oh, boy, you took it to be repaired.

Oh, boy.

Oh, but Chrissy’s mother's going to be in the spare bed.

Oh, but that's not enough for the three of you is it?

Oh, by the way, you wife was just telling me

Oh, Chrissy gave them to me,

Oh, Chrissy, your father is just a minister, he's not god.

Oh, Chrissy.

Oh, come in.

Oh, come on Just because he calls himself "Honest Larry"

Oh, come on, Chrissy, people are doing it all over the place.

Oh, come on, I won't give you away.

Oh, come on, son, you're not dealing with a rookie.

Oh, come on, Stanley, it was just a little party.

Oh, come on, Stanley, just a little something

Oh, dear!

Oh, do you mind if I eat in my boots?

Oh, doesn't anybody sleep at night anymore?

Oh, don't go yet. Come on, sit down a minute.

Oh, fix the doorbell, Stanley.

Oh, for heaven’s sake, Stanley, Jack made it.

Oh, forget it.

Oh, gee.

Oh, god

Oh, good Chrissy, you blew it.

Oh, good night.

Oh, good.

Oh, he warned us last month if we don't have

Oh, he won't really throw us out.

Oh, he's fine dear, but he worries about you.

Oh, he's probably just shy about people eating his cooking

Oh, hello, darling. [ Kissing sounds ]

Oh, hello.

Oh, hey, forget embarrassed.

Oh, hey, Janet, come on in for a second, will ya?

Oh, hey.

Oh, hi, hi, come on in.

Oh, hi, Jack.

Oh, ho, ho. Isn't he darling?

Oh, how nice.

Oh, I almost forgot the The reason I came up here

Oh, I do envy you!

Oh, I hope Jack finds someone to take her.

Oh, I just can't keep up with him.

Oh, I just gained five pounds hearing about it.

Oh, I just left it over there on that empty shelf.

Oh, I mean the kitty.

Oh, I put the plant in Jack's room.

Oh, I see what you mean.

Oh, I’ll heat it up in a jiffy.

Oh, I’m sorry, Stanley, did you tell him about your pain?

Oh, I’m sorry.

Oh, I’ve never seen such traffic

Oh, I’ve read all about the wild parties and orgies,

Oh, is he giving you a rough time?

Oh, it doesn't get in the way. [ Laughter ]

Oh, it must be Mr. Rogers.

Oh, it started when I was a kid.

Oh, it takes that long? [ Laughter ]

Oh, it was a horrible, hairy little thing.

Oh, it was thrilling.

Oh, it's easy. I'll show you how to score.

Oh, it's that window in the living room.

Oh, it's you.

Oh, Jack!

Oh, Janet

Oh, Janet, I am so embarrassed!

Oh, Janet, I’m sorry to bother you

Oh, Janet, that's ridiculous.

Oh, Janet’s fine. Eleanor left to get married.

Oh, just until Chrissy calls.

Oh, may as well go for the eighteen, huh?

Oh, me too.

Oh, mother, it's not really

Oh, Mr. Roper, our smiling landlord.

Oh, much as we love her

Oh, my god, what a mess.

Oh, my god.

Oh, no thanks, I can't stay long.

Oh, no thanks, I don't even know how to play.

Oh, no time, I’ve gotta get to work.

Oh, no, it's warm enough in here.

Oh, no, no, don't throw it out.

Oh, no, no, no, no, officer, there are no signs

Oh, no, no. Listen, that's my fault.

Oh, no, she's a typist.

Oh, no, this is the eight hour version

Oh, now come on, you guys, you know Roper's rules

Oh, now don't get excited Stanley.

Oh, now he can sleep on the sofa.

Oh, now Stanley, stop pretending.

Oh, now, you said we, does that mean

Oh, of all the vain, arrogant, egotistical

Oh, oh, how cute.

Oh, oh, I could have sworn that

Oh, oh, I see.

Oh, oh, is that something you made in cooking school today?

Oh, oh, it's nothing really.

Oh, oh.

Oh, only if he made fun of us.

Oh, ooohhhh, I love your eyes.

Oh, probably something delightfully kinky

Oh, really?

Oh, she went to see her dentist.

Oh, so do I.

Oh, Stanley, I know a man when I see one.

Oh, sure I do.

Oh, sure,

Oh, thank you very much.

Oh, thank you, Chrissy.

Oh, thank you, Stanley.

Oh, thank you.

Oh, thank you. That's got to be Chrissy.

Oh, thanks, Jack. I know I can trust you.

Oh, that means Roper will be here any minute

Oh, that wasn't the party, Stanley,

Oh, that's a relief.

Oh, that's cute!

Oh, that's French isn't it?

Oh, that's nice, dear.

Oh, that's no problem.

Oh, that's okay, I had to go to the bathroom anyway.

Oh, there's nothing to it.

Oh, this is Chrissy’s mother.

Oh, this, uh, $300, do you have the numbers of the notes?

Oh, those, yeah, sure.

Oh, try not to do that, dear. [ Laughter ]

Oh, uh, she works in a flower shop.

Oh, um, does it have to be all one color?

Oh, um, yeah, but that won't hurt my application, will it?

Oh, we keep that out there for our own use.

Oh, we need, we need.

Oh, we thought we'd been robbed.

Oh, well how about the all night showing

Oh, well you see,

Oh, well, in that case it's all right.

Oh, well, it'll be a nice change for Mr. Roper.

Oh, well, let's don't brighten things up too much.

Oh, well, there wasn't enough for both of us

Oh, well, there's an all night showing of "War and Peace"

Oh, what about your room?

Oh, what are we gonna do now?

Oh, where did you get him?

Oh, why not? [ Laughter ]

Oh, wonderful.

Oh, wow, and here all along we thought you were coming up

Oh, wow, how great!

Oh, yeah, I got it right here.

Oh, yeah, um, Mrs. Roper, I am really sorry.

Oh, yeah, we're expecting you. You can use the bathroom now.

Oh, yeah?

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah. [ Laughter ]

Oh, yeah. I remember you.

Oh, yeah. Thank you, this will be fine.

Oh, yeah. The Ropers have it.

Oh, yes, nothing but men, isn't it?

Oh, yes, that's me, officer.

Oh, yes, yes, we'll see a show, all right, "Baretta,"

Oh, yes, yes, yes, now

Oh, yes.

Oh, you can do that later.

Oh, you can't go to bed. [ Laughter ]

Oh, you didn't leave that little puppy down there

Oh, you girls don't have to wait on me.

Oh, you know, Stanley, you shouldn't blame the kids.

Oh, you mean like this?

Oh, you saw me I mean her. [ Laughter ]

Oh, you shouldn't take any chances.

Oh, you sit there. [ Laughter ]

Oh, you wouldn't have liked it, Stanley.

Oh, you'll love it there The beer is flat,

Oh, you're right, we can't tell Roper.

Oh, you've had the carpet cleaned.

Oh!

Oh! I'm sorry.

Oh! Must you announce those things?

Oh?

Oh? Then why did the ladle turn green?

Oh.

Oh. [ Chuckling ]

Oh. [ Laughter ]

Oh. Oh. Hey, gee

Okay About what?

Okay No No No No

Okay, he is a great cook.

Okay, let's ask him.

Okay, let's go.

Okay, okay, I get the message.

Okay, Patricia, the thing is [ Laughter ]

Okay, she's asleep, come on.

Okay, what are you making for dinner tonight?

Okay.

Okay. Eggs, butter, what are these?

On the corner!

On the couch.

On the floor is better

On their honeymoon. [ Laughter ]

On top of their morning paper.

One beer is fine.

One false move and we take you right to the vet.

Only if I let him catch me.

Only thing Larry ever gave anyone was the business.

Only things that don't come off.

Ooh I could kiss every inch of you!

Ooohhh

Ooohhh, that is much better.

Or in this case, someone like Jack.

Or the

Or the tequila, or the whisky, or the rum, or the vodka,

Otherwise she wouldn't stay with him.

Otherwise, you'd be out on the street,

Out of the box herself.

Out the window at three o'clock in the morning?

Out to dinner?

Owww ieeee!

Pants, socks, shorts Anything else?

Patricia Crawford.

Peeping out.

Peeping? [ Laughter ]

People running around without any clothes on.

Pictures, plants, lamp, uh, well nothing seems to be missing.

Please have a little respect for the dying.

Please?

Please.

Printed on it.

Promises, promises.

Put it there.

Quietly.

Really helps you sleep. That's a medically proven fact.

Really?

Really? I found a spider in the bath once.

Really? Well, I guess you'll be safe enough.

Regal Beagle.

Right in my hand and then Mr. Travis asked me

Right out into the street.

Right out on his ear.

Right, there is only one way to tell.

Right, well, what do you say?

Right.

See I had a quart but it went sour.

See I put it out on their front door step this morning.

See if it's supposed to be heated.

See these wires? They're loose.

See what I mean, why'd he have them off in the first place?

See ya later.

See, here's my copy and there's your copy.

See, I put in a place where I knew they wouldn't miss it

See?

Seven pounds, eight ounces.

She could've fooled me. Well, um, uh Look, Patricia?

She didn't even notice.

She doesn't happen to be a student too?

She knows you wouldn't

She looks dreadful without makeup, doesn't she?

She means a typing pool. [ Laughter ]

She means the groceries.

She what?

She'll be here in a few minutes.

She's no place to go.

She's right, Jack.

She's so healthy.

Shh Shhh Shhh

Should I call a doctor or get a net?

Six o'clock.

Sleep walking eh This is a decent neighborhood.

Sleep walking What are you talking about?

Smells funny.

So he could be sure you'd pay the loan back.

So I’ll just mosey on my way.

So I’m afraid you know what the answer's got to be.

So I’m just having this stew that was leftover

So it's not missing, sir.

So much to do around here.

So naturally I took it.

So why don't you go up there again tonight and ask them

So will Jack.

Some blonde left him on my doorstep.

Some money.

Some of us are boxers.

Somebody broke in.

Someone must have taken it!

Something I learned in class today

Sorry to barge in on you again like this,

Speaking of Roper, how long do I have to go on

Special treat for your tonight, Stanley.

Special?

Ssh! Come on!

Stanley be careful, they're live.

Stanley was born with that sense of humor,

Stanley, what happened? [ Laughter ]

Start what?

Still?

Stop shouting. You'll wake her.

Stupid doctor! That stupid doctor!

Suppose her mother sees me?

Sure What are you giving away this time

Sure this stuff is good?

Sure.

Ta ta.

Take off those clothes. [ Laughter ]

Take them out to dinner What for?

Take your clothes off first. [ Laughter ]

Tell me something?

Tell me, are you in the habit of leaving $300 in cash

Terrific.

Than a little tickle on the tummy.

Thank you for not running us all in, officer.

Thank you, I enjoyed making it.

Thank you, Stanley.

Thank you.

Thanks for helping me with my stuff from the cab.

Thanks, kids.

Thanks.

That all up so I can stay home with you and talk.

That almost makes sense, doesn't it?

That and a few other birth defects.

That awful girl at the party last night?

That could be a problem.

That day after tomorrow is a very special day.

That I’ve grown used to that other people still notice.

That if I took a puppy, he'd have to cancel the debt.

That is just like Jack Anything to be different.

That is not a plus.

That is your room and this is our room.

That landlord of yours, he's really the pits.

That little radio couldn't be worth $300.

That looks delicious!

That lousy, used car salesman!

That money today

That only three can play. [ Laughter ]

That party upstairs kept me awake till three o'clock in the morning.

That used to give you pleasure?

That was last month's rent.

That was me, wasn't it?

That was my dinner. [ Laughter ]

That was my mother on the phone;

That was our rent money.

That was quick.

That was the earthquake.

That water's wet.

That young couple next door, they've been ripped off twice.

That'll keep him out for the night, huh?

That's $2.75.

That's a brilliant idea! [ Laughter ]

That's a girl In the door That's right That's right

That's a girl. She's getting back in bed.

That's a lovely mole you've got on your thigh.

That's all I’ve gotten for 20 years.

That's always the first thing to go.

That's good enough for me.

That's hard to say, you and Chrissy left before I did.

That's his favorite program.

That's impossible.

That's it, we mustn't despair.

That's it.

That's it. [ Laughter ]

That's not my best feature.

That's only $3.00.

That's right, Stanley.

That's right.

That's the answer; there is a financial aid

That's the kind to be.

That's the only way he'll allow it.

That's true.

That's what I figured.

That's what she'll think.

That's wonderful.

The big one, don't you remember?

The blonde you're always peeping at?

The cops will pick him up.

The door.

The explorer? [ Laughter ]

The girls in the office call him Christopher Columbus.

The guys I know don't have that kind of dough,

The hair is really getting thin back here.

The hookers will pick him up.

The next time we see Roper, we'll throw a stick.

The one in 105.

The one who kept giggling and trying to do a strip tease?

The one who's you know?

The only time he tries something French

The original one in Russian.

The oven?

The proof will be in the eating.

The puppy's not there, it's gone!

The rent, the food, the phone bill.

The rest of the time I pick up odd jobs.

The Ropers know we were keeping a dog up here.

The smell should be gone in about

The volume knob is missing.

The weatherman said there'd be thunderstorms tonight.

Their party did that.

Then why didn't you look out our bedroom window?

Then you eat it.

There is nothing going on in our apartment.

There was an envelope that said rent on it,

There was nothing wrong with the punch.

There wasn't any foul language.

There you are. [ Laughter ]

There you go.

There you go. [ Laughter ]

There's a girl coming to look at Eleanor’s room.

There's a man in there.

There's been a lot of break ins around here lately.

There's just one more place.

There's nobody in there.

There's nothing going on in ours either.

There's one thing I’d like to mention, Mr. Travis,

There's plenty wrong with me.

There's someone out there.

They all look alike nowadays. [ Laughter ]

They always check them out.

They are yours; she got them from your garden.

They didn't take the television set.

They give loans to students in need.

They have to make up a really sad story.

They just smashed right in.

They just sort of fall off the bread.

They probably clashed with his dressing gown.

They smell of pickled onions.

They'd make me turn in my towel.

They'll make a run for it.

They're just lost.

They're lovely, hard working.

They're really not bad kids, why don't we invite them

This breakfast is good enough to eat.

This is gonna make you feel so goooood.

This is my building. They should get my permission

This is not underwear, it's my bathing suit.

This is our landlord.

This is our social calendar.

This is your bed, big time.

This morning

This time nobody's leaving.

THREE'S COMPANY WAS VIDEOTAPED IN FRONT OF A STUDIO AUDIENCE.

Thrilling?

To collect the rent.

To dinner tonight?

To give them pleasure.

To share an apartment with.

To surprise me that way Leaving him on the doorstep.

To take to pay this off, I mean, six, twelve,

To the hospital.

To worry about.

Toe

Tripper, Jack Tripper?

Turn around.

Two girls?

Two grunts for no, and a burp when he wants his dinner.

Two of them were fifties, fifteen of them were tens.

Two weak girls depending on you.

Ugh!

Uh huh.

Uh, good evening.

Uh, I want to make your favorite salad

Uh, is there any shaving cream?

Uh, leftovers. I was just throwing this out.

Uh, most of it. [ Laughter ]

Uh, not too well done, huh? [ Laughter ]

Uh, oh, I’m sorry, I’m Jack Jack Tripper.

Uh, there's a machine on the corner.

Uh, this is our landlord. He's always doing that.

Uh, well, it's uh, cold.

Uh, well, uh, Mrs. Roper, we can explain.

Uh, what did you want this money for?

Uh, white wine for me.

Uh, wine, I need some wine. Do you have a bottle?

Uh, yes, this is the kitchen where we chin our wags.

Uh, you don't happen to have a razor do you?

Uh, you don't happen to have a towel handy?

Um hum.

Un unh.

Unless the burglars are still here.

Unless the doctor finds something wrong with him.

Until I call and tell you mother's gone, okay?

Veal parmesan with a side dish of luscious fettuccini.

Very good, Stanley.

Very strange.

Wait a minute Wait a minute! [ Laughter ]

Wait a minute, where's the radio?

Wait a minute!

Wait a minute.

Wait, Iâve got an idea

Wait, you're not wearing any shoes.

Wait.

Wait. Try this.

Want some coffee?

Watch him. He's tricky.

Watch out for that table. [ Laughter ]

Watching the Wright brothers fly for the first time?

We We won't.

We accept and thank you very much.

We all make mistakes.

We are going to be quiet from now on.

We are.

We both worry about you living in this terrible town.

We can't find, small things, you know, like lipstick or

We can't go on avoiding Roper forever.

We can't keep it.

We could rent one.

We could sneak him in.

We discussed it enough last night.

We don't have a garage.

We don't have to use our real names.

We don't need philosophy, Jack, we need money.

We found him in the bathtub.

We gave the party last night.

We gotta get rid of that dog.

We had a peeping tom the other night.

We had the police here and everything.

We have to put on our makeup.

We have?

We hope you'll be very happy here, dear.

We just can't leave him in there, I mean,

We mustn't despair.

We need it to pay last month's rent.

We ought to make him feel at home.

We use it to clean the sink. [ Laughter ]

We were just about to call the police.

We'd all be sitting pretty.

We'd probably be safer that way.

We'll be out on the street! [ Doorbell ]

We'll get your bags in.

We'll go down to the pub and hide out.

We'll just keep her out of the bathroom.

We're already a month behind.

We're going to buy the only thing we can afford: Time.

We're not in the habit of having $300.

We're out $300.

We've got no time. I'll put his stuff away.

Wednesday?

Weekdays from eight till two,

Well

Well I I knew that. [ Laughter ]

Well I gave it to them.

Well if it was your mother, I’d do something.

Well it beats the YMCA.

Well it's only fair.

Well we've hardly had a chance to talk.

Well, almost It'll be 20 years day after tomorrow.

Well, anybody who loves parakeets must love dogs.

Well, call him.

Well, Chrissy, what?

Well, dear, I think I’ll turn in early.

Well, he has to shave.

Well, here I am.

Well, how about you two, you should be able to raise

Well, I I I

Well, i I I I mean they look like a pair of,

Well, I also owed him $25 and I told him

Well, I can just cry.

Well, I can see I’m out gunned around here.

Well, I could always come back tomorrow.

Well, I did my bit I put the toilet seat up.

Well, I don't care what it is.

Well, I guess no loans.

Well, I guess she loves him too,

Well, I had to find a good home for it

Well, I promise you, I’ll never let them out of my sight.

Well, I put up the clean curtains.

Well, I should hope not.

Well, I think it should be the head of the house.

Well, I thought that your father was the problem?

Well, I told him that Jack was a decent, respectable,

Well, I was going to wash them.

Well, I was looking out this window about three o'clock

Well, I was one of your guests.

Well, I was up there and I

Well, I’ll just go put some iodine on this graze.

Well, I’m I'm sure it's delicious.

Well, I’m glad you enjoyed it.

Well, if you're going to be any kind of maniac,

Well, it is small of course, but then most of the time

Well, just as long as you know different.

Well, just relax.

Well, just to be neighborly.

Well, Larry has a soft spot for animals,

Well, look, I’m I'm sorry. I better be going.

Well, maybe we can go bowling afterwards.

Well, not exactly missing, but there are always things

Well, now, uh, well, uh, how long did you want

Well, that doesn't prove anything, look at your mother.

Well, that's it, little girl, I’ve tried everybody I know.

Well, that's silly, nobody makes bread crumbs,

Well, the rent money was stolen, our apartment was burgled,

Well, there's the bus station.

Well, this key might give us a clue.

Well, those girls better watch it or out they go.

Well, wait a minute, it'll be strictly platonic.

Well, we better have. [ Doorbell ]

Well, we have a lot of other girls

Well, we weren't the only ones making noise.

Well, we've got to raise the money somehow.

Well, what about Mr. Roper?

Well, what am i supposed to do, now?

Well, what are you waiting for?

Well, what's your thought?

Well, where are you going to find carrots this time of night?

Well, you know a lot of people do eat horse meat.

Well, you should be getting the hang of it soon.

Well, you still can.

Well, you've got one.

Well, you've got to get out of those clothes.

What Oh my god She's sleep walking, again!

What a lousy break.

What a super idea, Janet.

What about a motel? [ Laughter ]

What about Mr. Roper?

What about that boss of yours, that one who's always

What about the 24 hour laundromat?

What about the doorbell?

What about?

What am I, a gorilla?

What are we going to do about the rent?

What are we going to do now?

What are we going to do?

What are you doing?

What are you, some kind of sex maniac?

What blonde?

What can I tell you, I almost had the money

What did you do with the rent money?

What do ya mean?

What do you mean, your mother's staying?

What do you think?

What does that mean?

What earthquake?

What ever happened to the sexual revolution?

What fellas?

What happened?

What if she has to use the bathroom?

What is going on?

What is he, crazy or something?

What is it?

What made you think that you could

What makes you think that?

What stunt?

What time is it?

What we've got to do is raise the $300 for this month's rent.

What you're talking about is it?

What?

What? [ Laughter ]

What?!

What'd you do, wear a mask? [ Laughter ]

What'll it be?

What's all that jelly stuff in there?

What's cooking?

What's going on?

What's she doing in L.A.?

What's that?

What's the matter little, girl? Hmm hmm

What's the matter?

What's the trouble?

What's wrong with that?

What've you got?

Wheaties. [ Laughter ]

When he goes for a checkup, he thinks he's wasting his money

When he's still a student.

When I hurt myself, I cry, and that's the way I cry.

When I want to sleep, I go to bed.

When? When?

Whenever I think of it.

Where did you get it?

Where would you read a thing like that?

Where you'd spring from?

Where'd you get those?

Where's Jack going to sleep?

Where's Jack?

Where's my wine? Oh, hi.

Which Chrissy took to be repaired,

Which means I am not a hardship case.

Which mother are you?

Which one of us was the last to leave the house this morning?

Which reminds me

While you're reading your newspaper,

While you're watching the TV, while you're taking your nap.

Who do you think your fooling?

Who is it?

Who said that? [ Laughter ]

Who's sharing the apartment with you?

Why aren't you having some?

Why can't she sleep walk in the daytime?

Why did you give it to the Ropers?

Why didn't I think of that before?

Why didn't you leave us a receipt?

Why didn't you say something?

Why disturb them?

Why don't you all join me?

Why don't you bring it into the bedroom sometime?

Why don't you hold her for a minute, Chrissy.

Why it's Mr. Roper.

Why not?

Why should I?

Why wasn't it all right before?

Why were you sleeping in the bathtub?

Why would I object?

Why?

Why'd they run away from me like that?

Will the view be better if I stand? (Hiccups)

Will you get in here and quit playing games?

Will you get your mind out of the bed and onto the ceiling?

Wires don't get loose all by themselves, you know.

With a couple of roommates who don't have any money either

With a man, I couldn't He didn't even say, "please."

With a man, you know what she'll think.

With all the terrible things that go on in this town,

With our rent money in it $300 cash.

With the money we make from the sale, dummy?

With what?

Without leaving the receipt?

Wonderful.

Would have been here sooner, but I’ve been very busy.

Would like to do it?

Would want a dog?

Would you excuse us for a minute?

Would you like a cookie, Chrissy?

Would you like another beer?

Would you like some hot milk?

Would you?

Wouldn't catch me sleeping in there.

Yeah

Yeah right through the ceiling we thought.

Yeah, almost as good as mine.

Yeah, and then the next night he bought the friend.

Yeah, any reasonable man would understand.

Yeah, busy napping in your arm chair.

Yeah, but

Yeah, but it's still the same shorts.

Yeah, but there's your boyfriends and everything.

Yeah, but they're only after one thing.

Yeah, but you know he's already made about 20 calls.

Yeah, for the garbage pail. [ Laughter ]

Yeah, he is, isn't he?

Yeah, I took it to be repaired.

Yeah, is that better?

Yeah, it was the first time our bed moved in years.

Yeah, let's call the police.

Yeah, like right now I’m thinking,

Yeah, look honey,

Yeah, maybe with a béarnaise sauce

Yeah, she had a boy.

Yeah, she must have. [ Laughter ]

Yeah, so am I.

Yeah, there's nothing a girl likes more

Yeah, well

Yeah, well I’m no fool.

Yeah, well, ah, you mustn't blame yourselves.

Yeah, well, I guess I’ll put my pants on.

Yeah, well, maybe I’ll just leave my bedroom door open

Yeah, well, we're keeping half of the bargain so far.

Yeah, when I took the radio.

Yeah, why?

Yeah, with any luck.

Yeah, you can borrow mine.

Yeah, you remember I came up to fix the sink yesterday?

Yeah, you'll have to be strong enough for both of us.

Yeah?

Yeah.

Yeah. [ Laughter ]

Yeah. Chrissy!

Yeah. What's a dog doing in my building?

Yes as a matter of fact, it is.

Yes dear, I know. It's all right.

Yes you are, aren't you?

Yes, loans is the key.

Yes, loans.

Yes, of course you'll have to share everything.

Yes, real cozy, you know, a little wine, a little bread,

Yes, she walks around the neighborhood.

Yes, sir, a transistor radio, black with a silver dial,

Yes, sir!

Yes, sir?

Yes, they've been opening up all over the area.

Yes, uh, well, that's all right.

Yes, well, goodnight. [ Laughter ]

Yes, yes it is.

Yes.

You You want to go and look in the bedroom?

You always put on your robe and slippers

You are leaping at the galloping gourmet of 1980.

You are so beautiful!

You ate that stuff I sent down last night?

You better feed her.

You can move in as soon as you like.

You can move in, it's all right.

You can't find your lipstick?

You can't help yourself, Chrissy.

You can't sit there while we get undressed.

You can't tell the difference.

You did too.

You dirty old man.

You do have your share of next month's rent, don't you?

You do it better than anyone.

You don't care for it, huh?

You don't catch us walking around the apartment

You don't have to take them inside.

You don't want that sweet, little cute,

You don't?

You end up giving the guy the wrong idea.

You ever gave me.

You fall asleep in the middle of everything.

You fell asleep right in the middle.

You get that, Chrissy We'll take care of these.

You go and invite them, and I’ll look for something to wear.

You got a dog up here?

You got anything stronger, like cocoa?

You got your confession Now make the bell go "ding dong."

You had to find something to worry about.

You have got a problem.

You have to learn how to trot before you can gallop.

You haven't even heard it yet.

You just have to be flat broke.

You know maybe she's hungry.

You know how he carried on when I moved here

You know I finished that spicy book you gave me to read.

You know it wasn't easy being a minister's daughter.

You know Larry.

You know something Helen?

You know that ladder's really been a big help to me.

You know that's a perfect title for my autobiography?

You know what Mr. Roper's like.

You know what she tried to give me one night at bedtime?

You know, he stays in that bathroom twice as long as we do.

You know, I don't know how you do it, Helen.

You know, I think we ought to do something for those kids

You know, it's a shame you don't live in India,

You know, it's funny, when you get to be my age,

You know, it's too bad your fairy roommate

You know, lucky for you, you don't have a dog up here,

You know, maybe there's something about you

You know, there's been a lot of robberies

You know, they crawl up the drain pipe,

You know, those clothes don't fool me a bit.

You know, tinkerbells?

You know, we don't know how those burglars got in here.

You know, what's so nice is that you seem to have

You know, you're lucky I don't run you all in.

You live with two girls?

You mean Horace and Mike?

You mean I discussed it.

You mean I walked out into the street in my nightie?

You mean that you don't mind?

You mean you don't want me to be nice to him?

You mean you don't want to have dinner with us?

You mean you'd actually hit another guy?

You must have been getting undressed.

You never are. [ Laughter ]

You really are a very strange person.

You saw the way he was looking at you in there.

You say something about the rent?

You scared me half to death.

You see anything?

You see I know it looks really strange

You see, every week we collect some money for the pot.

You see, if we tell our landlord that we can't pay the rent,

You see, my father earns over $6,000 a year,

You share the apartment?

You sit here, Chrissy.

You take him down to the Regal Beagle, and keep him there

You tell her to get dressed before going to bed.

You took the radio?

You wanna give her one, last, little stroke, Chrissy?

You wanna have some din Din, huh, little baby?

You want me to tell the landlord that the rent money is stolen?

You want to borrow a book? [ Laughter ]

You want to put these in the oven?

You were at the party last night.

You were robbed, weren't you?

You were young once.

You weren't down there with Mr. Roper.

You what?

You won't mind?

You would?

You wouldn't want me to wake you up in the middle of the night,

You'd be sacred there. [ Laughter ]

You'd like them.

You'll wake the Ropers. Quiet! Shh!

You're a big help.

You're a lifeguard?

You're a typist? With a shape like that?

You're going to spoil him.

You're living with a woman?

You're making that up.

You're not dying.

You're not gay, are you?

You're not welcome.

You're right, dear.

You're right, I’ll watch it.

You're right, let's talk.

You're right.

You're right. But with Jack, I’ll be strong.

You're right. I'll go look.

You're very bright.

You've been playing around with these wires?

You've been too quick for me.

You've got enough mouth for three lips.

You've got him, haven't you?

You've got to be kidding.

You've got to give me a better reason.

You've never seen it walking up the stairs.

You've only been up a half an hour but your tongue

Your anniversary?

Your father's living with two girls?

Your pet tarantula? [ Laughter ]

Your room?

Your side lost. [ Laughter ]

Your stew's not very good, but at least I’m used to it.

Your stuff was delicious. [ Laughter ]

Your tongue just went into overtime.

107.

A blanket.

And these L.A. cabs are terrible.

Before you left for work

Did you touch the rent money?

'Night.

"Baretta"! [ Laughter ]

"Charlie's Angels"! [ Laughter ]

"I don't want any weirdo's or hanky panky in my house."

"Sin city" he calls it.

(Jack) right.

(Janet) Hi.

(Together) minus/plus

(Together) plus.

[ Applause ]

[ Audience whistles ]

[ Awwwww ]

[ Banging noise ]

[ Banging on door ]

[ Banging on window ]

[ Barking noises ]

[ Clearing throat ]

[ Deep sighing ]

[ Dog whimpering ]

[ Dog whining ]

[ Dog yapping ]

[ Door bell ringing ]

[ Doorbell ]

[ Doorbell ringing ]

[ Garbage disposal running ]

[ Gasps ]

[ Giggling ]

[ Groaning ]

[ Heavy breathing ]

[ Hiccup ]

[ Kissing ]

[ Knocking on door ]

[ Knuckles cracking ]

[ Laughter ]

[ Laughter ] [ applause ]

[ Laughter/applause ]

[ Mr. Roper yells ]

[ MUSIC ]

[ Music ]

[ MUSIC ]

[ Music ]

[ MUSIC ]

[ Music ]

[ Pans dropping ]

[ Phone rings ]

[ Screaming ]

[ Thunder ]

[ Whimpering ]

[ Whimpering like a dog ]

[Aaahhh]

[Applause]

[Doorbell]

[Laughter]

[Speaking French]

♪ COME AND DANCE ON OUR FLOOR (COME AND DANCE ON OUR FLOOR) ♪

♪ COME AND KNOCK ON OUR DOOR (COME AND KNOCK ON OUR DOOR) ♪

♪ DOWN AT OUR RENDEZVOUS (DOWN AT OUR RENDEZVOUS) ♪

♪ LAUGHTER IS CALLING FOR YOU ♪

♪ TAKE A STEP THAT IS NEW (TAKE A STEP THAT IS NEW) ♪

♪ THREE'S COMPANY TOO ♪

♪ WE'VE A LOVABLE SPACE THAT NEEDS YOUR FACE ♪

♪ WE'VE BEEN WAITING FOR YOU (WE'VE BEEN WAITING FOR YOU) ♪

♪ WHERE THE KISSES ARE HERS AND HERS AND HIS ♪

♪ YOU'LL SEE THAT LIFE IS A BALL AGAIN ♪

$300 and we're wiped out.

$300, are you sure this is going to be enough?

Three's Company - Season 1
Three's Company is a beloved sitcom that aired from 1977 to 1984, captivating audiences with its hilarious and offbeat humor. Season 1 of Three's Company, which premiered on March 15, 1977, introduced us to the iconic characters we all came to know and love. The show centers around the comedic misadventures of Jack Tripper, played masterfully by John Ritter. Jack is a culinary student who finds himself in an unusual living arrangement. Due to a mix-up, Jack becomes the roommate of two single women, Janet Wood (Joyce DeWitt) and Chrissy Snow (Suzanne Somers), in an apartment owned by Mrs. Roper (Audra Lindley) and her husband, Stanley (Norman Fell). However, there's a catch - the three have to pretend Jack is gay to appease their conservative landlords. The chemistry between Ritter, DeWitt, and Somers is electric, resulting in non-stop laughter throughout the entire season. Ritter's physical comedy skills shine as he continuously finds himself in awkward situations, trying to keep up the façade of being gay. DeWitt portrays the sensible and level-headed Janet, while Somers brings charm and innocence to the role of Chrissy. The supporting cast adds an extra layer of hilarity to the series. Audra Lindley delivers a memorable performance as Mrs. Roper, the quirky and nosy landlady who often meddles in Jack, Janet, and Chrissy's affairs. Norman Fell is equally amusing as the skeptical Mr. Roper, always suspecting that something is amiss with Jack's identity. Beyond the main cast, Three's Company also features recurring characters who become integral parts of the series. Richard Kline shines as Larry Dallas, Jack's womanizing best friend who often helps him navigate the trials and tribulations of living with two attractive women. There's also the lovable landlord Ralph Furley, played by the talented Don Knotts, who joins the show in later seasons. The success of Three's Company lies in its clever writing and the brilliant comedic timing of its cast. The show tackles controversial topics of the time, such as sexual innuendo and societal norms, with a lighthearted approach that never fails to make audiences burst into laughter. The infectious theme song, composed by Joe Raposo, perfectly captures the carefree and lively spirit of the show. With its catchy melody and playful lyrics, the theme song became an integral part of the Three's Company experience for fans worldwide. If you're longing for a nostalgic trip down memory lane or want to introduce a new generation to the comedic genius of Three's Company - Season 1, you're in luck. You can now play and download all the sounds of this fantastic season here. Relive the magic of Jack, Chrissy, and Janet's escapades, and get ready to laugh until your sides hurt. So, gather around and join the hilarity that unfolded in Three's Company - Season 1. With its talented cast, timeless humor, and unforgettable characters, this sitcom remains an all-time favorite, even decades after its initial release. Get ready for a laughter-filled adventure that will keep you entertained from start to finish!
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