Three's Company - Season 2 Edit

A boyfriend and told you two to get lost?

A brick would bounce off that stuff.

A bunch of Disneyland tickets.

A can of what?

A charming man. Did he give you any tips?

A classic?

A curling iron, a traveling iron,

A fascinating creature.

A few hundred thousand! Well, what kind of investments?

A free drink to the best voice. ♪ I've been working on the railroad ♪

A handkerchief would've been better.

A homemaker. What's the difference?

A hoo...

A hoo... a hoo... Oh, Chrissy. Chrissy.

A hoo... hoo... hoo...

A hooker? [ Sobbing ]

A house without a can.

A job could really be wonderful for you.

A keep a supply of them on hand...

A little faster.

A little wine for the occasion.

A lot of people fall asleep at the movies. While they're necking?

A lot of women would be after me if it wasn't for this wedding ring.

A man and woman living together platonically.

A man's gotta do what a man's gotta do.

A miracle.

A movie camera. Wow wee!

A movie on the tube, huh? Yeah.

A nice man?

A nice, hot cup of cocoa?

A quarter is no problem.

A raise? I I can hardly afford what I'm paying now.

A real friend'd be glad to do that. Oh, thank you, Janet. I accept.

A real miracle, a gift from heaven.

A surprise? Mm hmm.

A temporary what?

A this. A that. A this. I'm trying to get this off of that.

A unicorn? Well, that doesn't mean that you were..

A Visitor's Tour of Sacramento?

A Waterpik, a hair dryer and a nightgown.

A wedding? Well, who's getting married?

A witness? To what?

A woman has a right to make her own life...

A wonderful and valuable heirloom.

Aaah! Aw, gee. I think we better go wash up.

Aaah! Oh! There's one right there! Where?

Aaah! What?

Aah! Aah! $1200? $1200?

Aah! Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.

About breaking your spout.

About how you tricked me so you could live up here.

About what?

Act natural. Will you just take the p...

Actually, I was gonna take Betty, but [ Sighs ] she's a lost cause.

Actually, it's her and her and him.

Actually, Mrs. Roper, it's kind of your fault. My fault?

Actually, uh,

Adiós? You come back here!

Adiós.

Adios. I'm the smallest of Janet's six big brothers.

Adorable. I bet you didn't know how talented your husband is.

After all, people can't help the way they look.

After all, sleeping is your favorite hobby.

After all, we men have to stick together, you know.

After all, who's the man around here?

After all, you're only gonna be going overnight.

After you grab a bus back to Westwood.

After you insisted on no changes, you come in here and ask me to change!

After you two went down to The Regal Beagle,

Again? Well, I want to get my roast out of the oven.

Aggressiveness. Your boss has gotta see that.

Ah, ah! No more of that "poor lonely soul" stuff.

Ah, and, Mr. Roper, um, how about...

Ah, Celise, you saved the whole party.

Ah, come on, Stanley. Hey, come on. Look at me.

Ah, madam, what a love... Hold on.

Ah, madam, what a lovely three piece living room set you have.

Ah, my dear Mr. Roper.

Ah, that's nice. What do you plan to do?

Ah, this stuff's not for me. When I want exercise, I go down to the gym.

Ah, what a lovely three piece living room set you have.

Ah, yes.

Ah! Here it is.

Ah! Let me do that. No, no. No!

Ah! Ooh!

Ah.

Ah. A millimeter to the left and I woulda lost this toe.

Ah. Hey, Jack!

Ah. Ohh. Easy!

Ah. San Francisco.

Ah. So what?

Ah. The airline pilot and fashionable dentist.

Aha! There she is...

Ahh ahhh ahh! Jack!

Ahh, thank you, Janet. Wear them well, Jack.

Ahh!

Ahh!

Ahh!

Ahh! Just one little problem, Chloe. [ Clears Throat ]

Ahhh! That's a beautiful effort, Miss Ramley.

Ahhh. [ Nervous Chuckle ]

Ahhh. I strained it through a pair of Helen's stockings.

Ahhh. I'll remember that next time.

Ahhh. Oh, you know, what this arrangement needs is something...

Ahhh. Well, we had a few, but they all died.

Alex, this is Jack. Hi, Alex.

All all my time.

All at once instead of piece by piece?

All he know is... that you're hiding in my kitchen, cooking my dinner!

All I can tell you is I wished for something good to happen to all of us here.

All I did was repot it and cut it back a little.

All I have to do is follow this sales manual word for word, and I can't miss.

All I know is that you two need looking after,

All I was trying to do... Jack, Janet! Please stop.

All in black satin.

All it takes is a little...

All it takes is... Another man?

All on the same day you asked me for money for your lunch.

All right now. You just wind the thumb.

All right, all right. Here. Put that in there.

All right, Chrissy, where's the picture?

All right, Chrissy. All right. Now, where is Jack?

All right, Chrissy. I'm a fair man.

All right, Chrissy. What else did he say?

All right, come on. It's what I'm waiting for.

All right, everybody, ignore him.

All right, I think that's everything.

All right, it's lipstick from kissing.

All right, Larry. Here. Just take it. Take it.

All right, now, pick up your milk. Let's go.

All right, Roper. Here's my check for 1200.

All right, you found a young, pretty girl? Go to her!

All right, you proved it!

All right? All right. Okay.

All right? Sure. I mean...

All right. All right, Chrissy.

All right. Break it up, break it up, break it up.

All right. I'll be a weak, helpless girl at a bus stop,

All right. I'll help you. [ Telephone Rings ]

All right. I'll I'll tell you the truth.

All right. I'll turn out the lights. Okay.

All right. Knock, knock, knock, knock, knock.

All right. Knock, knock, knock, knock, knock.

All right. No. I'm inside now. Oh, sorry.

All right. Now I'm gonna use my mentalist powers to try...

All right. Now, repeat after me.

All right. Okay.

All right. Take it easy. Take it easy.

All right. Thank you.

All right. Uh, first thing... Chrissy's got to be told.

All right. We can't afford it.

All right. What does Roper really want?

All right. What's so important? Tell him!

All right. Where is he? Who?

All right. Which one of you guys hit me?

All right. You know, I think you should've stuck to modeling, I really do.

All right. You wanna cut back?

All the tables had these tablecloths with tartan designs all over them.

All the time that we've been going together,

All you do is look through the little viewfinder,

All you gotta do is eat three cans of Carter's baked beans.

All you have to do is just be cool.

Almost finished. Honey, there's a young couple here to see the house.

Almost nothing, he means. He's getting 200.

Almost. Good.

Alone at last. Yeah.

Alone with your wife?

Also there could be a terrific lawn out

Altered?

Always flying off somewhere.

Am I boring you?

Am I doing it right? You sure are.

Am I helping?

Am I to understand that all you need is Jack's share of the rent?

Amazing! Oh, it's incredible.

An appendix.

An interfering jackass of a roommate?

And a dog with black and brown spots.

And a new water pump. A few bucks, that's all.

And a nice man even insisted on giving her his lunch.

And a... And a merry Christmas to you too.

And all you can think about is enjoying yourself.

And and he was laid off.

And anyway, I thought you kids should have the use of it.

And attacked you like a mad dog.

And because you told us to leave the room...

And being detained for 48 hours.

And between us, we're two miles tall.

And don't stop until I tell you to.

And Florence Nightingale and Madam Currie.

And for anything else I've ever done wrong since I met you, I'll make it up to you.

And gave her my mother's wedding ring to remember me by.

And gave them to the Salvation Army.

And gently place it in this position.

And get the cat next door to come visit it.

And go settle things in the bedroom,

And great shoulders.

And hanging pictures wasn't one of them. Yeah, I'll bet.

And have a Christmas party with us.

And have dinner at my place?

And have to come begging every time I want a quarter.

And he can do the job.

And he figured it must be you, so he wanted to drop in and say hello.

And he knows his name is Jack.

And he knows who. And you put who and who together,

And he said he was ready for dessert!

And he said that everybody chews on one side of their mouth more than on the other.

And he said then you came back and you finally settled down to live in San Diego.

And he said then you came back and you finally settled down to live in San Diego.

And he said, "No," and I got mad and said...

And he says that he's gonna have to stay in Apache Springs for two more days.

And he started with mine.

And he wanted me to give you back your $100.

And he wants me to tend bar for him for a few hours.

And he's just waiting for the right moment to spring it on you.

And he's tinkling with the other.

And here we have the very lovely and talented Mr. Pico Boulevard...

And here's Chrissy dating this this total stranger.

And his feet not be burned?"

And his wife doesn't mind?

And I can't shop without enough money.

And I do mean need you.

And I don't know how long I'm gonna stay here.

And I don't like it.

And I don't like it. Well, why don't you stop thinkin' about it?

And I don't like to barge in on people when

And I don't think she has any right to do that.

And I got a big surprise for you.

And I got to thinking that...

And I happen to be one of them.

And I haven't finished it yet.

And I know you'd like to see some references to make sure I'm qualified,

And I love that dress.

And I love you. I mean, I don't love you, love you.

And I really resent the two of you...

And I really will go out and get a job.

And I seem to remember another girl. Um,

And I stopped by the Regal Beagle,

And I suppose you've selected my wardrobe also?

And I think Jack's had enough. Let's go.

And I thought you were supposed to be irresistible.

And I told everybody to... take a good look at what they were getting.

And I was the only one able to figure it out.

And I went to the prom wearing blue shoes.

And I will serve you for a change. [ Doorbell Rings ]

And I'd like to get this marriage over with.

And I'll be sure to turn it up real loud...

And I'll sit here denying it all through the movie.

And I'll take the one with the bar, which is the boy's, uh, bicycle.

And I'll take the other half off for lousy flowers. Thank you.

And I'm just trying to make a life for myself here,

And I'm only halfway through puff pastry.

And I've never had brains.

And I've reserved the bridal suite.

And if we do turn up, it'll be a lousy trick to play on us.

And if you see anybody coming, whistle. I can't whistle.

And it came out like "Hava Nagilia."

And it might be fun.

And it only cost you $299.95.

And it really hurt his feelings.

And it tends to absorb the healthful nutrients.

And it wasn't Chrissy's coat?

And it wasn't? No. It's some girl I never met.

And it's given him an idea of how much he can really get for this dump.

And it's not generally known, but it only mates once a year.

And Jack gets it for Chrissy.

And Judy is one of my best friends, so I figure the least I can do...

And just as the party started to sag,

And just so full of information. Yeah.

And just the dashiest dash of Tabasco.

And just what did you have in mind?

And kissing me and kissing me and wouldn't let up.

And knowing what a warm, generous, bighearted person you are...

And leave it with Chrissy to pick me up, and take a bus home.

And listen, you can come back whenever you like.

And live happily ever after, and everything they do is legal.

And Lucrezia Borgia.

And make him forget all about Susan.

And make myself miserable?

And Margaret just came up with 250 of it.

And maybe we can play a little Scrabble? And we could watch TV.

And most of all, what about our dinner?

And Mrs. Roper will be waiting to take him to The Regal Beagle, where... surprise!

And Mrs. Roper's got a plant that's as good as new!

And my ceiling is over my head.

And my father, he's gonna kill me if he finds ou...

And my own cocoa.

And my own husband is... Hold it. Hold it. I got you one, Helen.

And my own wife... my own wife... who's always looked up to me as a man...

And no cents.

And nothing ever happened here.

And now you guys are mad at each other because of a silly misunderstanding.

And now, Jack, you can go on living here as long as you like.

And now, my dear Mona, Yes?

And now, uh, I have a surprise for all of you.

And now... ♪♪ [ Scatting Fanfare ]

And pick her up in my arms and throw her on the couch and then who knows what.

And poison half of Santa Monica?

And pry him away from her. With what? A crowbar?

And put his name there and then my name up here... You ripped the contract!

And put on some soft music,

And raised her rent $75 a month.

And relax for 20 minutes."

And sell it for whatever they can get for it.

And she finally agreed with me.

And she's upset because I didn't make a...

And shocks. Okay.

And smother her with kisses...

And so far, I approve of the title.

And so will his be when he eats that.

And somebody offered me a drink,

And stay there until he leaves, okay?

And steal the check? Nothing of the kind.

And suddenly she says, "Oh, my. Look at how late it is."

And suddenly there was this white unicorn with a tulip in its teeth.

And suppose I like to spend four hours with a guy.

And suppose it doesn't?

And take the bus downtown.

And that always turns a man on, right?

And that includes just about everything.

And that is his bedroom. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And that made me think that you weren't such a nice guy.

And that wins the trip? No. You gotta do a little more than that.

And that. Chrissy!

And that's just exactly what we're going to do.

And that's why I'm going with the first word.

And the "Have Fun" goes to the Mexican cruise ship.

And the first person it fits I'll marry.

And the jacket costs, what, 400? Make a trade off. Yeah.

And the night before you took out the garbage,

And the tables...

And the wine you chose: a subtle, yet daring... Too much sugar?

And then another, and then another.

And then Chrissy notices the time, and all the girls get into a cab...

And then drop you, Chrissy, off in front of your office building in Westwood.

And then he picked it up and he gave it back to me. Oh, that's class!

And then here's the female anatomy in full color.

And then I came back.

And then I couldn't sleep 'cause I kept goin' to the bathroom.

And then mail it together with these three labels.

And then Stanley will feel like he's cheating on me,

And then we had some wine. Oh, boy, does he know his onions.

And then we'd have open house.

And then you just happened to give it to Chrissy with a big ribbon on it,

And then you thought I was another kind of

And then? Then he turned the lights down,

And there were a lot of guys, not many girls.

And there's no way I'm gonna let a pantywaist like you be one up on me.

And there's some things I will not do, and one of them is...

And they said that our ancestors were Scottish.

And they're never satisfied. I mean, it's not as though I never put up a shelf.

And told Janet and Chrissy that I was going to be the father of her child.

And waiting for some girl to walk under it. [ Laughs ]

And we don't want to embarrass anyone, so we're gonna be in the kitchen.

And we have a carefully provided program.

And we solved your problem, 'cause Chrissy

And we were taking a bath together, and she...

And we'd like to thank Filthy Jeans for lending them to him.

And we're gonna have to cook our own meals.

And we're gonna see that he gets that.

And we're not gonna be singing "Happy birthday, Harry."

And what about the housekeeping money?

And what else did our efficient postal service bring us?

And when Chrissy comes home, she'll go to bed.

And when he compares your ability to others,

And when he finds out it's a bum check, he'll

And when I bring Mr. Roper back from the Regal Beagle,

And when it makes $50 interest, then he'll have the 100 to pay me back.

And when the guy's friends tried to help, Jim Walsh beat them up too.

And where's the Jack? As in "Happy birthday, Jack"?

And while I'm at it, why don't I also tell him...

And while you're in there, you might as well give those dirty magazines a bath too.

And who knows, ha ha, maybe I'll win a prize!

And who's this one, another sister?

And will you tell Mr. Compton I don't wanna play?

And you act like it was some sort of crime.

And you be a rough drunken sailor.

And you can have the apartment all to yourself. Oh, thank you.

And you can still find time to cook?

And you didn't pass "go" once.

And you get him, that's who.

And you girls should learn to ignore my body.

And you got worried. Of course I got worried.

And you guys aren't going anyplace, that maybe you can come downstairs...

And you knew I saw you, but that wasn't enough for you, was it?

And you know what they say, Jack?

And you know why I left you too.

And you offered me 200?

And you said, "The truth shall set you free."

And you saw me, and I know you saw me because the girls told me you saw me!

And you told me to say nothing but the truth?

And you wanna show this sort of a movie on it?

And you, sir, qualify for the $50 commission. Oh, my God.

And you're giving him some answers. "Dressing, meet the salad."

And you're livin' here with them, I gotta throw you out of here.

And you're not going to take pictures.

And you're the queen.

And young. Yeah.

And your own wife.

And yours, Mr. Roper? That's right.

And, Jack, Janet, look, whatever your problems are,

And, Jack, since you're gonna be on your own tonight,

And, naturally, he'll want to see me home.

And, remember, what happens between two consulting adults...

And, uh, I'm sure he's heavily in debt by now.

And, uh, this, uh... this here is my roommate, Chrissy Snow.

And, uh... Chrissy.

And, well, anyway, I just thought you might, uh,

And, well, I really need somebody there with me to, uh, take notes and...

And, well, Janet, I think that Jack looks terrific.

And, well, you know that I can't take more than two drinks.

And, you know, with your mother missing you so much...

And? Maybe they won't notice.

And... and he asked me...

And... I don't wanna hurt you, and I don't wanna hurt my friends,

And... there was a band,

Another day of Morris Morris, and I would've gone mad, mad.

Another of your little digs, huh?

Another one of your little digs, huh, Helen?

Another woman?

Any Christmas cards or Life magazines?

Any more would be precocious! What you have achieved is divinely tantalizing.

Any pain? Anything broken?

Anybody has ever given me in my whole life... No. No, it's not.

Anybody who wants the place to themselves...

Anyone can tell just by looking at you.

Anyplace you're not!

Anything would be more fun than that...

Anything. It could be anything. You know, uh... Oh, what?

Anyway, he's got these really hot films that were confiscated.

Anyway, I'm raising their rent $75.

Anyway, we know what we saw.

Anyway, we'll know better as soon as he's able to stand up by himself.

Apprehending a felon. That sounds so exciting.

Are the girls up yet? Yeah, Chrissy's getting dressed, and Janet's taking a bath.

Are you a friend of Jack's?

Are you all gonna be seeing Chrissy's movie again?

Are you all right?

Are you all right?

Are you all right? Chrissy, speak to me!

Are you all right? I'm fine. Fine!

Are you choking, Stanley? No.

Are you crazy? Where are we gonna get money to buy a house?

Are you crazy? You'd have to go around introducing him as "my son, the daughter."

Are you finished with your third degree? Maybe I'll take my shower now.

Are you going out? Yeah.

Are you gonna leave me here unbuttoned? Oh, come on, Jack.

Are you kidding me? That's Susan Walters.

Are you kidding? Come into my kitchen. Fellas!

Are you kidding? I can't leave my post. I promised Steve I'd stay...

Are you kidding? That car is practically brand new. It's an old lemon.

Are you nuts? It's the answer to our prayers.

Are you on a paper diet or something?

Are you riding those bicycles to your home?

Are you saying women are only interested in me for my plumbing?

Are you saying... Do you want Jack to be hurt again?

Are you still upset about your dad? No.

Are you sure this is the guy?

Are you the cleaning lady?

Aren't these beautiful books? Oh, yes. Hand tooled leatherette...

Aren't we overreacting?

Aren't you gonna give them something for all the work they did?

Aren't you gonna introduce us?

Aren't you gonna put a border on this cake?

Aren't you interested in hearing what I think is best for me?

Aren't you the student who's living with two girls?

Arguing with one woman.

Arthritis?

As a matter of fact, I called the police to complain about it.

As a matter of fact, I'm beginning to like you.

As a matter of fact, yes, I have.

As far as I'm concerned, this girl who got the manager's job, this Chesty...

As long as I keep dirt off the streets.

As long as you don't mind sitting in the backseat. You know.

As the Good Book says, all's well that ends well.

As well as the... girl...

As well as what?

At 11:30 in the morning?

At least Lloyd's got some sophistication.

At me and telling stories behind my back.

At the supermarket. Oh, no. He picked you up?

At this here Sunset Pines Hospital.

At this hour? Why don't you go to bed?

Attracted to me, and plenty of 'em still are.

Aw, and this one's from you.

Aw, come on, Jack. I think it's really nice of Mrs. Roper to think of us.

Aw, come on, Jack. You wouldn't want me

Aw, come on, Stanley.

Aw, come on, Stanley. When are we gonna get a chance...

Aw, come on. A little of that never hurt anybody.

Aw, don't take it so hard.

Aw, Jack. Did you?

Aw, Jack. Did you?

Aw, Jack. We'll have a great dinner. Then we can talk.

Aw, poor Jack.

Aw! [ Chuckles ]

Aww.

Awww! Awww!

Awww. Let me see.

Back! Resist! Oh, please!

Baked beans?

Barging... in like this.

Be back in a minute, honey. Okay.

Be careful!

Be gentle with me, Helen.

Be gentle. Okay, up, up.

Be my guest.

Beaten? Oh, hey, I'm not beaten, Janet.

Beats me.

Because all the time that I was talking to you down at the club,

Because I don't have free passes for something romantic.

Because I don't wanna go to work.

Because I have to stay here and mix a couple of drinks. For who?

Because I walked out on you.

Because if I put it on all at once, I might miss a few spots.

Because it isn't honest, that's why.

Because it was normal.

Because it's Christmas. [ Doorbell Rings ]

Because Jack just ran out of gas.

Because my father sent away to one of those firms that trace your family roots..

Because the next thing I remember, I woke up this morning in Jack's bed.

Because then you could bring the car back to Westwood...

Because they want Jack to be surprised.

Because tonight we're having your favorite...

Because we know we can count on you.

Because you're a pig.

Been before... the mountains, the Mojave Desert.

Before and after.

Before he gets everything locked up.

Before that strange creature so rudely interrupted?

Before we got married, a lot of women were

Before we let you buy your car back,

Begging your husband for more money.

Beginner? Who are you calling a beginner?

Believe it, Chrissy.

Believe me, after that, they looked at Stanley Roper with respect.

Besides, even if it isn't, that's my affair.

Besides, I already tried it, and the jacket's not there.

Besides, if nobody's sitting next to me, the car tilts sideways.

Bet you'll never guess who baked it.

Between the, uh... This is Captain Chadway.

Big change? Well, yeah.

Billy has good intentions.

Boo boop bee doo.

Both? I hope you don't mind me saying this.

Boy, all the time we thought Jack was out cooking,

Boy, Chrissy, you are tough.

Boy, Helen, it was so humiliating.

Boy, I really used to score pretty good in those days.

Boy, I tell ya, Jack, I'm I'm just fine.

Boy, I wish it were that simple.

Boy, I wish you'd care for me the way you care for your plants.

Boy, some of the things that girl comes up with.

Boy, that Linda.

Boy, that stuff was so hot, it kept me awake all night.

Boy, this whole thing has given me a headache.

Boy, what do they teach you guys at cooking school?

Boy, you're really down, aren't you? Yeah.

Boy! That is a bundle of overtime to take home, Janet.

Boy! That was dumb, wasn't it?

Boy. Poor Mrs. Roper.

Boy. This is gonna be great.

Break your own record for most boring evening.

Breakfast anyone?

Bridge parties, charity balls.

Bring the conversation around to money. Leave that to me.

Building who can't get me when they need me?

But a lovely woman's money is very hard to shake.

But after what I saw this morning, and after what I heard just now,

But Chrissy, that'll ruin everything for you.

But do me a favor. Don't tell Mrs. Roper about the 100,

But do you have a razor I could borrow?

But don't worry about us. Chrissy and I will think of something to do.

But don't. It's okay between us, all right?

But first he told me something that I didn't know.

But for 200 it gets better.

But he don't fool me none of the time."

But I can get it back in two shakes.

But I can tell he's a fine boy,

But I do wanna give... give it...

But I don't know which end to talk to.

But I don't understand where you guys got the idea that this stuff was cannabis.

But I don't want it.

But I don't want to give her a present. I want my $100.

But I get out of school way before you two quit work.

But I have everything I need. Oh, that's true. That's true. That's really true.

But I have to go to San Francisco this weekend on a business conference.

But I learned something.

But I love you just the way you are.

But I need a real customer.

But I never signed over the registration. You gave them your word.

But I think I'll ride throughout the kingdom today,

But I think the decision has to be mine.

But I think you should apologize to Chrissy.

But I thought you didn't like her. You didn't even wanna talk to her on the phone.

But I want to keep it a secret from Mr. Roper. See, I wanna surprise him.

But I want to. No, it's none of our business.

But I would know those feet anywhere, wouldn't you, Janet?

But I would need a, uh, deposit.

But I wouldn't go out with you anyway!

But I'd already figured out that I was mistaken about Chrissy.

But I'll work very hard and be very cooperative,

But I'm free Sunday. Oh, great. I'll call you tomorrow.

But I'm gonna win the war.

But I'm just not that crazy about Scrabble.

But I'm seeing Linda now on a regular basis, and I can't help it

But I'm talking about regular women.

But if I hadn't brought you, would you have believed me?

But if I were you... And I'm not...

But if you're too busy for that... Oh, I'll take that now.

But if you've got the car, then we'll have to take the bus home.

But in my book you're okay.

But it better be good, because I won't believe a word of it!

But it does seem to fit a little better, doesn't it?

But it doesn't come that easy for me. I have to go buy the book here.

But it gets in the way sometimes.

But it is Jack's life, and we've got no right to interfere.

But it seems like I'm damned if I do and I'm damned if I don't.

But it took two priests and an altar boy to drag him out of the church.

But it would have made Jack too nervous.

But it's a common mistake, and a lot of beginners tend to fall into that group.

But it's cold! Oh, Mr. Roper!

But just hang 'em on the wall anyway

But Mr. Roper is really upset.

But my secretary got the flu, see?

But now I can see it ain't normal, so everything's back to normal again.

But otherwise, first rate.

But right at this moment, he's not too sure.

But right now let's plan how we're gonna use it. Okay.

But since then, prices have gone sky high.

But suppose... now just suppose... that it's not all work.

But thank you for a lovely evening though.

But thanks anyway, Stanley.

But that was Mary Milligan's fault.

But the beer glass kept sliding off.

But the last thing in the world I wanna do is marry Jack.

But the one thing I can't figure out is where they're gonna get the water from.

But then again, he never talks about any of his affairs.

But then you hit me. Oh, well...

But then, I put up shelves.

But there are a couple of things I think you ought to know about him.

But this time he's got a temporary.

But those are your favorite dishes.

But together we make a great act.

But we can have gobs of fun here. How?

But we don't have to trick the kids.

But we expect him back real soon.

But we'll still be here.

But what about all those times we saw Jack down at the Regal Beagle...

But what about the water? The water? The water's fine.

But what happens when Mr. Roper tries to cash it Monday morning?

But what if they find that stuff in there? Be quiet!

But what's a man to do when a beautiful girl climbs all over him?

But when I met you, I thought you were a creep.

But when you didn't arrest my friend Jack, I thought you were a nice guy.

But whenever my father's around, I feel just like I did when I was a little girl.

But why Helen? I mean, I'm home with her all day.

But you better not blow it unless you really mean it.

But you can't quit after just one day. You can do that job.

But you can't. Janet, she can't.

But you didn't tell me he got divorced.

But you don't do that in a blender.

But you don't own the car anymore.

But you don't understand, Officer. I'm the one who called.

But you gotta promise me something.

But you gotta promise me something... no tears.

But you gotta tell him you love the job and you don't wanna give it up.

But you know what? What?

But you're not leavin' here with a hole in your shorts.

But you're stingy with that too.

But, I mean, maybe I don't put up as many shelves as some husbands,

But, Janet, what about a woman's right to be a homemaker if she wants to?

But, Mr. Roper... I gotta catch up on my sleep.

But, of course, I should have guessed.

But, see, he's not here right now.

But, Stanley, the kids paid you the money! They own the car now.

But, Stanley... Come on, Helen.

But, uh, don't take it hard, huh, kid?

But, uh... See, um, when you say...

But, well, now it would look silly.

But, you see, earlier tonight you made a very

But...

By myself. Why?

By the time I'm 30, I'm gonna be lopsided.

By the way, do any of you know where Mr. Roper keeps his checks?

Bye bye, Jack. Bye.

Bye, babe. Janet?

Bye. Bye.

Bye. Bye.

Bye. Bye.

Bye. Bye. No, wait.

Bye. Good bye, Susan.

C A R.

C committed some kind of offense,

Call me.

Called "Bedroom Playground."

Calling all our friends, trying to raise the 300,

Can a man say something? No.

Can I borrow it for this afternoon?

Can I get you something? A glass of white wine would be nice.

Can I have a raise? No.

Can I make it up to you by taking you to dinner tomorrow night?

Can I see it? Oh, good. Sure.

Can I stay? 'Cause I don't know what's going on around here.

Can of bis?

Can we discuss this later, Helen? For the automobiles, right?

Can we go in the kitchen now? Tonight? Chrissy,

Can we please talk about something else? All right.

Can you close the door, Mr. Roper?

Can you have a smiling heart attack?

Can you let him in while I fix my hair?

Can you spare them?

Can't we see something more romantic?

Can't you forget about that?

Can't you talk to your uncle in my bathing suit?

Candy caramel, corn on the cob.

Cannabis?

Caramba. That's not me. I never posed for them.

Careful, Stanley. They're bringing back the death penalty for murder.

Carry moonbeams home in a jar?

Carter's beans for the red, white and blue.

Cere.

Certainly, certainly. Would you excuse us for a minute, Mr. Roper?

Certainly. It's when a boy and a girl fall in love...

Change your mind? Good. Come on in.

Chateau Supermarket.

Cheap, Stanley. C H E A P, cheap!

Cheap!

Cheap? That's one thing those girls are not.

Check the temperature of the roast, toss the salad,

Checks for jewelry, for automobiles.

Cheers. [ Chuckles ]

Chew it slowly, Stanley, 'cause that's your breakfast.

Chloe, listen to me. There's nothing wrong with having a great body.

Chloe, you look "terrifico."

Chloe? Oh, well... [ Clears Throat ]

Chrissy didn't tell me you were beautiful. [ Laughs ]

Chrissy honey, you see... [ Doorbell Ringing ]

Chrissy isn't home.

Chrissy knows you come on strong with every girl you meet.

Chrissy needed comforting, and what did I do? I made her feel worse.

Chrissy thought that you forgot her birthday.

Chrissy, about Lloyd...

Chrissy, all you have to do is just be alluring and be seductive... sexy.

Chrissy, calm down. Don't panic until you know who it is. Okay.

Chrissy, can you maybe, uh, see...

Chrissy, can you sew a button on for me, please?

Chrissy, Chrissy, chew, chew! Rah rah rah!

Chrissy, Chrissy! Bring a mop! What?

Chrissy, Chrissy...