American Auto - Season 1 Edit

A bigger drumroll here

A bit late to the party, Bolvaria.

A brand new car.

A car by animals for animals?

A car for the people by the people.

A depressing shell of a human.

A dog's a big commitment. Ooh.

A few calls asking your position on murder.

A gym voucher, longer breaks

A kiss tushy? Can we say tushy?

A little more tailored or quirky?

A lot of spare weekends now, you know, since the divorce,

A molester, you know have you thought about that?

A new labor contract.

A new truck plant in Joplin. That's 7,000 new jobs,

A real beaut.

A roller rink in the boonies was doing a families day

A star is born, guys. That's awesome.

A stupid amount of it to stay right here at Payne.

A warm body at every port.

A week before it airs

A well paying job can get you real progressive real fast.

About channel surfing in a hotel.

About his many behavioral issues, all right?

About how I plan to sell a bunch of stocks

About insider trading?

About Jack and Sadie [bleep] through a gloryhole.

About some of the exciting things we have coming up.

About some troubling things.

About the 10k Pika.

About the future of the auto industry.

About this in front of

About what you're getting, you know, so...

Absolute truth. This is it.

Absolutely not then. Let's not say that. Carry on.

Absolving us of responsibility.

Act toxic and make him dump us?

Acted, and edited all of them by himself.

Activist for

Actually, all the kids have timed out.

Actually, hold on. Anyone here have an interest

Actually, I stopped eating Fritos

Actually, I was going to say we should do a full media blitz.

Actually, realizing that makes it sound worse.

Actually, these pawls would be in the UK model.

Actually, with the engine we were forced to use,

Addicted to cars.

Adds something to the place, huh?

Adequate mime representation on set.

Adnan is guilty.

After 6:00, I am dangerously unstable.

After he was done taking a dump.

After Jin's part, there's not much for me to say.

After that Balloon Boy thing. What did Fritos do?

Ah, better not.

Ah, I don't know.

Ah, if it is, it'd be a piece of crap.

Ah, it's nice.

Ah, nothing.

Ah, okay, well, that kinda gives me disaster vibes.

Ah, they're fine. It's just a stupid commercial.

Ah, yes. I was a bit of a wild child.

Ah, you won! This is a trick question.

Ah! "Pull out!"

Ah.

Alan, welcome to Payne Motors.

All in, it could be, like, ten figures.

All of a sudden, hmm, looks like you're so skinny.

All of the components that go into making a car.

All right, all right, all right.

All right, Clarence, all right.

All right, Elliot, I need a risk assessment.

All right, guys, let's sell the crap out of this car.

All right, huh. What a day it's been, right?

All right, I guess we'll let the numbers decide.

All right, I spent all night with my guys,

All right, I'm authorized to offer you three days.

All right, let's go flush this turd down the toilet

All right, let's say good night to the kids.

All right, people, let's get toxic!

All right, thank you so very much to you all.

All right, then I'll see you later.

All right, well, thank you for your time.

All right, well, thank you so much.

All right? As it happens,

All right? I'm just following the logic.

All right? We can't, you know,

All right.

All right.

All right. All right. All right.

All right. All right. His 12th birthday...

All right. Great.

All right. Here we go.

All right. I get it.

All right. Oh, God. Oh, God. This is gonna need stitches.

All the board members' names, you're gonna be fine.

All their jobs are going away and we're sitting here

All these families?

All these kids fresh out of business school,

All these people have been jumping ship for Volkswagen?!

All they care about is their jobs.

All: Aw!

All: Payne!

All: Payne!

All: Payne! That's right! Who! Are! We?

All: Payne! [air horn blares]

Almost finalized before you joined Payne?

Also technically, work.

Also, can you tell your sound guy that sometimes,

Also, I'm gonna nix her taking you for a drive.

Also, there has been an 18% spike

Also, we only got a couple hours left with the kids.

Although I could for the right opportunity.

Although I guess at first, we did.

Although it won't be for long.

Although, actually, now I come to think of it,

Although, some of their concerns are totally crazy,

Although, with NDAs these days,

Always hiding itself in the shadows.

Always. Seat belts.

Am I interrupting something?

Am I the thing finder today?

Americans as lesbian Americans.

An interesting blippity bloop bloop and

And a bunch of people died.

And a copy of "No Other Exit" in case

And a DVD.

And a real motivator, yeah.

And adding the cost of a recall campaign

And also Antifa.

And ask if the zoo has any rules.

And ask Jin to come see me, that would be great.

And based on an old legend,

And before I go, a little drumroll, please.

And bite you with poison until you're dead.

And bring Q with you," or something.

And by 2050, I expect we'll have autonomous drone vehicles,

And by the way, fewer than 10% of Fortune 500 CEOs are women.

And can't even drive might be replaced by a former astronaut

And certain people will get hurt.

And chew gum at the same time, right?

And chocolate ice cream

And covered it up. Really?

And crimes of Johnny Turner, AKA The Michigan Monster.

And deal with the guilt in your own time.

And dealers overcharging for repairs,

And do they look like they would be together?

And don't get me started on "Tiger King."

And dress rescue workers up in her husband's skin.

And ethnic small plate restaurants.

And for the moment, I will hand it over to you, Jin.

And for you to then turn around and sell the dog

And frankly, revealed the need for quite a few more.

And gave me an opportunity.

And Gene was very strong in convincing that they weren't.

And give everyone T shirts. Okay. Building on that idea.

And give him a cowboy hat.

And give it, like, an obscure name people won't question?

And God bless you, and also God bless America as well.

And had planned to pull out of Millbank?

And have people be like, "Oh, hey.

And he asked to share just a few quick, quick words.

And he needs to sell.

And he never took no for an answer.

And he would have won by more, but his check bounced.

And her husband was a pastor at his church.

And here I was thinking

And hey, they buy cars too. So

And honestly, it's really more of a family

And Hot Dog Wednesdays...

And how are you finding the new job?

And how involved is Katherine personally

And Hunter Payne.

And I am a Payne family member.

And I am willing to offer you

And I cannot think of anything more beautiful

And I couldn't remember if you've been going to Mumbai

And I don't want to ask her, 'cause if she thinks

And I don't want you to bring,

And I hate to say it, but I told you so.

And I just didn't wanna, you know, blow my load

And I just have to say that your episode

And I just want to say how sorry we are here at

And I know you're scared. I know you feel lost.

And I mean that in the best possible way.

And I need to buy a car and I was not willing to buy used,

And I really wanna get one

And I still do because you are all my family too.

And I think it's looking good for you.

And I was, like, trying to explain how dumb that was,

And I will I'll let you know if I need it.

And I'm also recording all of this.

And I'm gonna my husband raw.

And I'm pretty sure one of them isn't even gay.

And I'm there too on the boat. I see everything.

And I've been considering going back to doing it again.

And if I'm gonna wake up every morning and walk him,

And if people aren't happy here, then I'm gonna fix it.

And if that makes other people follow,

And if they could do that to her,

And if they found out how you passed

And if you get in a jam,

And if you want to search for two things,

And in the sound of every baby's laughter."

And in this country? In America?

And interviews and dinners,

And is it appreciated? Matter of fact,

And it charges the battery.

And it is a very respected publication.

And it might, might, I'm saying might theoretically,

And it was so responsive.

And it will be retailing for wait for it $10,000.

And it's up to $725.

And its community leaders and business owners.

And just to reiterate, I'm also here

And Katherine was holding the other hand,

And knocked one right out of the park.

And like being tool less

And literally been to the moon.

And look, mistakes were made. Mea culpa.

And make more money, well, that's just it's

And morally, what about the human rights abuses?

And my dad just went from one factory job to the next.

And my only means of escape was to drive that to safety,

And no reading any of our emails, all right?

And not not like in bred simple.

And not just sitting there being all tall.

And not one mention of it rolling out of park.

And now everyone knows if I come home

And now I bet he's gonna be late.

And now if you follow me,

And now your master of ceremonies, Tom Bergeron!

And obviously our hearts go out

And one gooey coconut dream bar?

And percent is out of a hundred.

And pop up abortion sites.

And power and control.

And profit is what you make

And promoting you to positions

And put this puppy to bed?

And read some big fake happy speech.

And roughed in some of the sacrifices

And Sadie will keep the call going until we're done.

And save these conversations until the engine noise

And see what other talent's out there

And shank him or whatever it is.

And she comes to my PTA mixers...

And she looks at him and she goes,

And she put Katherine hand in mine,

And she really saw something in me

And she said singing was indescribable,

And she said, "As long as you guys are holding hands,

And so

And so I'm gonna leave it to her.

And so on and so forth.

And so that main course is another drumroll,

And sometimes I just need a little me time.

And still aired the old one.

And stop acting like awkward teenagers.

And stuff gets out of context.

And that is why I am so excited to present to you

And that the gray carpet is way better.

And that way, even if you don't lose a pound,

And the board want to keep you.

And the bowl, if you know what I mean,

And the cargo areas would all be equipped with these.

And the guy he kidnapped is still alive.

And the hit that our brand would take?

And the lawsuits, obviously.

And the Michigan Mentors, there's nothing I can't do.

And the other half are people saying

And the two of you could give a joint press conference.

And then and then edit it, get it ready to air in a week.

And then all the arrows would be the cameras.

And then do you wanna

And then have your lips planted in that general vicinity.

And then I gotta clean it all up after.

And then I'm on a busy work errand

And then if we don't do the recall,

And then if you run out, they bring you more?

And then in Bosnia and Herzegovina.

And then issue a very expensive recall

And then it's gotcha question, gotcha question,

And then it's like...

And then learning that we had put the wrong pawls in

And then look at this section.

And then lump them with a dud and make them pay up.

And then one day I confiscated this from my stepdaughter.

And then the doctor said, "I'm not even anemic.

And then we tour the warehouse

And then we've got that dealer call at 11:00.

And then with us, times are always tough.

And then you die.

And then you start feeling pretty good.

And then, "Oh, I'm so big and fat," you know?

And there was all this drama What drama?

And they deserve to be.

And they don't care about fiction books, you know?

And they had crab legs.

And they wouldn't care. I mean, we need to cut and run.

And they're amazing.

And this is Gary.

And this is just a taste of all the details

And this is not just me we're a little worried

And this is what they choose to write about.

And throw them in the crusher and just like...

And today, we're all just out there.

And turned away a family with two moms.

And we all get it eventually, but sooner.

And we falsely promised a big announcement.

And we just need to make a decision already.

And we would blow our load,

And we'll assign you someone.

And we're chatting about the weather, right?

And we're joined by the new CEO of Payne, Katherine Hastings.

And Wesley Payne did it in a day?

And when my grandmama was about to pass away,

And when she first got here,

And when you have a great product,

And when you say accurate, maybe wink a little bit

And who do we have here?

And who's also his brother in law,

And with them, methadone clinics and needle exchanges

And would not that be nice?

And yes, of course

And you all like to hate him, but you know what?

And you could put up all the smoke and mirrors

And you did a nice job and you didn't do the stuff

And you ever notice how she says right

And you know I don't play with demons.

And you know who profits?

And you learn from them and you move on.

And you meet up at a hotel bar.

And you worked really hard to get there

And you're like a bat out of hell!

And you've never heard of him?

And, Cyrus, you me a lady.

And, hey, you look at me now. [chuckles]

And, Sadie, could I please have a word?

And, some might even say questionable, cuts,

And, uh, here is your money.

And, uh, this quarter is... Real bad.

And, you know, full court press.

And, you know, there is an adjustment period

And?

And/or nuclear energy.

Andre was [bleep]damn adorable.

Andre was taken.

Andrew Garfield, Pierce Brosnan.

Any luck?

Any night you want. Oh, you're on.

Any of your emails, okay?

Any way that somebody else can just maybe get it for you?

Anyone can do it.

Anyone can participate. Anyone can listen.

Anyone's ever said to me, Andre,

Anything else on our end, guys?

Anything more than coworkers with you,

Anyway, before I turn it over to our CFO,

Anyway, I think you've probably got

Anyway, if I call my guy and I'm like,

Anyway, let's all take a moment of silence

Anyway, so not sure if any of you heard any of that.

Anyway, that is the only reason that I said

Anyway, uh, why don't you take a moment with these?

Apparently this guys has murdered at least 12 people.

Are after some location data. Apparently,

Are all leaving with him this week.

Are there any human rights abuses

Are there any questions?

Are they calling you asexual too?

Are we allowed to get rid of a sideview mirror?

Are we seriously gonna change our whole strategy, though,

Are you enjoying that?

Are you feeling all right? Me?

Are you kidding me? It's not like she's Elon Musk.

Are you kidding? That's nothing.

Are you on Tinder?

Are you really putting that under your sleeve?

Are you saying you're not gonna make cars here?

Are you sure you're not just siding with Jack

Are you sure? I don't want to bug you.

Aren't private planes usually the ones that crash?

Aren't we leaving?

Aren't you aren't you the chap from the video?

Ari Harman, two years on the board,

Ariel.

Around here lately have been quitting.

Around our other factories.

As "a celebrity."

As a condition of employment.

As a friend, not so you could screw us over.

As a LGBT et cetera in real life, right?

As a young female executive

As an operating profit margin, at 11.5%,

As if the problem is I'm just being stubborn.

As much as the rest of us

As of this morning,

As the office fun guy, but...

As these kind of selfish, conniving villains,

As they say, a breeze.

Ask for my help in the first place?

At any rate, let's all just be professional and positive.

At any rate, we took a prototype of the Pika

At least I think that's what he said.

At least not before my stock options vest

At our house. There's something special

At the end of everything and you have to say right back

At the glass ceiling, but that was now

At worst, I'm on the fence, at worst.

At your age, it would be shocking.

Authentic minivan drivers?

Ayuda.

Back on the line with the rest of them.

Backing down makes me look indecisive.

Backup to the dream bar is dipped madeleines.

Barb, please! No, don't you sit down!

Barb. Short for Barbara.

Barely saw my kids but had to keep 'em fed.

Bars. Mm hmm.

Based on your settings

Bashar al Assad has a 1976 Payne Condor,

Becau See

Because

Because as you know, there were quite a few concerns

Because everyone else is busy.

Because everyone will know you're mine.

Because I am going to buy you...

Because I don't think that's gonna be much better for him.

Because I don't wanna murder our customers?

Because I needed me time.

Because I paid you to take the dog, all right?

Because I'm not asexual.

Because it is the side of decent human beings.

Because obviously, we can't let her go for being not a lesbian.

Because Payne Motors truly has the Power to Move.

Because people here keep making it weird.

Because see, we're just we're friends

Because she might not be gay in real life;

Because the Ponderosa made me feel sick."

Because there's an NDA, so there's

Because they thought I was too loyal to be poached?

Because they're in a car commercial.

Because to me, it's about skeet shooting.

Because waiting is not going to

Because we're already under the spotlight.

Because yeah, I did have one very big announcement

Because you are hurt that I just yelled at you

Because you think people will think that he's white?

Because you wanted to make sure

Because, like, why

Because, man, I just

Because, you know, you don't want to hold it in

Before a picnic luncheon.

Before suggesting anything in the future.

Before they even know what hit them.

Before they've all been picked over.

Behind the scenes, as it were, of what makes Payne tick.

Behind the sniper to protect him.

Being in her office when she's not there.

Being the voice of the entire gay community.

Believe in me within reason.

Believe me, I really do. But coffers are empty, guys.

Believe me. I gain no pleasure from this.

Bergeron should have mentioned the heroin.

Betrayed every creative bone in my body.

Better than the blue? I really like the slate.

Between Albania and North Macedonia.

Between the company and the press,

Between you and the head of the program.

Big change of plans for Millbank

Big Pharma to Big Auto

Bill, that's not what that means.

Blabbing on and on about what they're doing.

Blank faces. It's a clean look.

Blank sheets of paper.

Boba shops and cannabis dispensaries

Bolverian real estate prices are gonna surge

Boom! Who's your Pharma Bitch now?

Bosnia, we bombed them in the '90s.

Both: ♪ She'll be coming around the mountain when she comes ♪

Brakes that work and engines that don't explode.

Breaking up with her boyfriend that would just rather

Bring those 12 people back from the dead.

Busted. I'm trying to quit," etcetera.

But also hand over the location data?

But Andre already has a mentor.

But anyway, I met the two women in the new couple.

But apparently she doesn't care what I think.

But are we a little short on lifeboats?"

But Asia

But bad enough that they don't think it's good.

But do I push back?

But do please be subtle about it.

But do understand that this doesn't reflect our beliefs.

But Gene, I have heard some rumors

But great idea.

But he was big around the middle,

But how did that work?

But how will you do it?

But I believe there is you know,

But I didn't actually say it.

But I don't care. I really just wanna sell cars.

But I don't think it really raises awareness.

But I don't think that's gonna happen, do we?

But I guess they kinda knew what they were doing.

But I have to warn you, it's not pretty.

But I really didn't mind having braces.

But I say if you don't want that in your backyard,

But I think it charms you.

But I was told I wasn't allowed to use the C word.

But I'll say it slowly. Please, hurry.

But I'm a lesbian and I'd wear what they're wearing.

But I'm a professional and

But I'm gonna get even sillier with it

But I'm gonna need to see a birth certificate.

But I'm picturing it now

But I'm the one feeling buttered up.

But I'm the one feeling buttered up.

But I'm the one feeling buttered up.

But I've been trying to brake for, like, 20 seconds now!

But I've got nothing to back it up with.

But if ask her if she's gay, we also get in trouble?

But if it looks too bad,

But if it was solar, the hotter the day,

But if it's anything like O.J. in '94,

But if we do the recall,

But if you come for the king, you best not miss.

But if you follow my lead, I will get us through it.

But in different locations?

But in the end, you're gonna have to decide

But is that logically sound?

But isn't a person's life kinda priceless?

But it does a bit. No.

But it felt like, you know, we were saying something.

But it goes up and down all over the place.

But it would suck because that car sucks.

But it'll take one to two hours.

But it's a $40 part.

But it's actually about all of us.

But it's also your job as CEO

But it's been a while.

But it's my job to look out for my guys,

But it's not quite 12.

But it's, you know, you're gonna have another one, aren't you?

But Jin just told me that he'll be leaving Payne,

But just gonna be honest, I'm not a huge fan of freckles.

But just in case, are we talking the,

But just to put it out there, we'd save tens,

But just yesterday you were saying

But Katherine, you're the CEO of a car company.

But let's not do that kind of stuff in front of

But like I said, it's two days. Take it or leave it.

But like you said, without mistakes,

But makes sense 'cause you're the CEO.

But maybe I'll circle back around.

But might not appear Black on screen.

But Millbank is good too. Lots of opportunities here.

But my mother's family is from Vietnam.

But no complaints just means no one's complained.

But now I'm leaving my job family

But now let's think about the cost of not doing a recall.

But so far, we've managed to find another $800 in saving.

But something bloody uncomfortable.

But something else too, change.

But take some personal responsibility.

But tell me, is an American's life

But thank you for giving me a lesson

But that is your drink, right?

But that knowledge isn't the reason they sold,

But that would make it

But that's in half an hour, so you're free right now.

But that's my grandmother's name,

But the actor is, in fact, Black, right?

But the Pika's so light.

But the problem is body heat. You don't want a hot sushi.

But then you're like, "Okay, yes.

But there are a lot of other boys who could use one.

But there's no words to describe it.

But they are what they are, and this is how it looks.

But they're not that out of line with our competitors.

But they're respectful.

But they're there.

But think about how much electricity

But think about the optics if we pull out.

But this this seems like a really big mistake.

But this is a Payne family event,

But this time?

But tonight you look more good.

But two of their valets didn't, so...

But we can't release the actor based on his race.

But we did it because we had a leader that said we could.

But we'd be willing to reimburse you

But we're just regular people doing our best.

But what America wants to know is what's he driving?

But what comes to mind specifically?

But what does this have to do with us?

But what I'm asking is not can you do it,

But what I'm telling you could be huge,

But when I was on the transmission line

But whoo!

But will it look like tokenism

But with some heavy foundation, it would have been fine.

But without those mistakes, we would never reach the moon.

But yeah, could you give some examples?

But yes, this is the first I'm hearing about it.

But you don't think that she, like

But you have that Motor Trend interview.

But you know he's gonna hate this?

But you know what we're gonna do?

But you know, a business is only as good as its employees.

But you know, everyone around here knows that I

But you know, if the money is good.

But you know, it'd have to make sense financially.

But you know, we shoot it in such a way

But you put the call on mute.

But you told me to shut up,

But you wanted me to be the voice of the workers.

But you were close. Damn it.

But, hey, you're the boss.

But, you know, as the first female CEO of Payne

But, you know, I'm still friends

But, you know, if you're fine not having the tools

But, you know, on the plus side, I never claimed to be.

But, you know, stuff like that. Stuff like that.

Buy you a smoothie? My treat.

By Bolvarian standards.

By getting rid of the passenger side mirror?

By me not eating corn.

By mistakes, do you mean

By next year, there will be no one good left here.

By posting that rainbow square.

By putting them on the spot.

By running air conditioners outside.

By the way, how are you feeling about the car?

By which I mean my actual family who I'm related to.

C'mon, somebody coin me, please.

Can drown them out.

Can I just say i it's really cool

Can I talk to you for a minute?

Can it be $10,000?

Can we ban that from the building?

Can we discussed this in private?

Can we get the blue van in here, please?

Can we just focus on one issue at a time?

Can we just hide the last few dollars in some sort of fee

Can we talk about this in private?

Can you believe he was that hot?

Can you do that?

Can you flip those any louder?

Can you just put the call on mute?

Can you name a single thing that you love about cars?

Can you please not pass out the pens?

Can you tag my manager in it as well?

Can't believe we had to leave early.

Can't get any worse.

Can't remember his last name.

Can't, yeah. Oh, I hate that word.

Captain Obvious to Sadie. You're jealous of Jack's date.

Captain Stevens, turn the plane around, please.

Carole Baskin, I'm coming for you.

Catch a tailwind down the coast.

CEO of a very successful company.

Charlie Altman? Yeah.

Charlie here has some pretty interesting ideas.

Charlie Hunnam, Henry Cavill,

Charlie was telling me some amazing stories

Check that out.

Claire Hartley in Gov Affairs, and Rob Berg in Design

Claire? No, no, no.

Come around that way?

Come check out the Silly Wall.

Come here.

Come on, Bennet.

Come on, Elliot.

Come on, everyone. Off your asses.

Come on, man.

Come on, Payne! Show her some love. Let's go.

Come on, she it's a layup.

Come on, you don't need to know those moves.

Come on! I said get out of those seats.

Come on.

Come on.

Comes from a woman, his opinion is that it's bad.

Comes out to somewhere in the neighborhood of,

Coming up in automotive technology in the future.

Complying with the subpoena? Yes!

Computers do most of the work.

Confident tone, it'll

Continue with the work day as planned.

Cool penis, by the way.

Cool? O okay.

Cool.

Cool.

Cool. [both chuckle]

Cool. Can we beat old pregnant lady?

Cool. Good.

Could be true. It is possible.

Could have told this on the phone.

Could I get two ham and smoked gouda

Could I have a lot of shots of something?

Could lead to smaller penis sizes for newborns.

Could you check for death or dying, please?

Could you check for, I don't know,

Could you introduce us to a few of them?

Could you not do it in Jin's office?

Could you tell us some of those ideas?

Couple of days? You said we'd do it tomorrow, though.

Crazy, right? That's so many.

Creative accounting.

Cut to her singing, and it gave me freaking goose bumps.

Cy dawg. Heads up!

Cyrus, are you done yet? Mm, it's rough.

Cyrus, Cy

Cyrus, proceed.

Cyrus, what about you?

Cyrus, what do you think we should do?

Cyrus, what is the technical name for this?

Cyrus? Nerd it. Do your nerd thing.

Cyrus. Cyrus. Cyrus.

Cyrus. Cyrus. Cyrus. Cyrus.

Dads, switch cars. Moms, stay where you are.

Damn it. I'm so bad at trading stock.

Damn it. Wrong number.

Darling, I'm

Dealing with regulators, whatever you need.

Defective locking pawls, for example?

Demolitions expert, little guy in a box.

Derek Gobetti. That guy was hilarious.

Derek Gobetti. That was his name.

Derek something,

Designing all of his jets and rocket ships

Did anybody bother to vet this woman?

Did someone fart?

Did we ever get an answer on that one?

Did you know people around the office

Didn't even have to be cars.

Didn't work out so well for you last time, did it?

Didn't you wonder why there's so many pictures

Dinner at mine tonight? [chuckles]

Dirty 30.

Discriminatory? [all talking at once]

Discuss amongst yourselves.

Do anything on this roller rink thing?

Do I need a permit or something?

Do I normally look like a garbage person?

Do not apologize.

Do not do or say anything

Do not feel that pride,

Do the bookkeeping for their store.