Please Like Me - Season 4 Edit

A bus is here. I mean, this just must be him.

A delightful nickname and then sometimes wanted to hang out.

A girlfriend?

A glass of water by his bed waiting for him in the morning.

A little bit but not much.

A little nutmeg, touch of cinnamon...

A pathological quest for stimulus.

A touch of baking powder,

About 12 seconds ago.

About dealing with some of this by yourself?

About how if you are a blind person allergic to dogs

About you is your sense of humour.

Absolutely at no point

Absolutely never. It's Josh and Tom.

Absolutely stunning with the very happy duck coming next.

Absolutely would. Sorry. Just trying to be supportive.

Absolutely!

Actually just not true, okay?

Actually, I'm surprised you weren't bullied at school

After they smoked meth, but no, there I was doing it.

Ah, excuse me, my name is Alan.

Ah, my name's Dan. I'll be taking care of the pairings this evening.

Ah, no. No, I'm going to catch the last train.

Ah, Rose, do you need a lift home?

Ah, to begin, we're off to South Gippsland.

Ah. That's interesting.

Alan is here to do things with your daughters.

Alan, how's work?

Alan, sit down! (LAUGHS)

ALAN: Hi, Josh

All I said

All of a sudden I'm housemates with Vladimir Putin.

All right, all right.

All right, I'm saying yes.

All right, it's not a competition.

All right. Well, then... What's the plan now?

All salads? Yeah, I'll have all the salads.

All these holes where the birds would lay their eggs.

Alright, Grace. GRACE: Yeah.

Alright, guys, it's 'miniature sex workers' now.

Alright, please, let's go. Yeah, fare thee well.

Alright. Yeah, boy!

Also, I just don't think it's the right time

Also, um, you're a good person

Always worrying about your fucking forehead.

Am I happy? That's just the saddest question.

And a very good BMI, like,

And also my dad was worried that, 'cause my mum committed suicide,

And also, this newspaper is all biased and stupid and...

And apparently you've been a bit over perky.

And as I got older, it got too embarrassing,

And bam! Before you know it you've been rejected

And chamomile dessert like that.

And did Google reassure you

And everyone making snap judgements based on your photo.

And he flies into a wall.

And he kept trying to explain away

And he's completely befuddled that things happen.

And how do they get them into the wine?

And how many were just oral?

And I accidentally grabbed the hand of the man next to me.

And I also would like to go see.

And I am indulging in my love for your dad.

And I didn't really understand it,

And I don't feel it very often

And I don't have that many people I can tell.

And I feel it and you gave me wine,

And I feel like maybe you assume that a lot of people don't like you.

And I feel very optimistic and enthusiastic about the future.

And I just don't know what he saw in me

And I just I thought it'd be nice if I bought you guys dinner. Mm hm?

And I just sort of... It seems right to be sad.

And I just want to let you know how thankful I am for that.

And I love you.

And I really hope that Hannah's having a good time too.

And I said something stupid and stormed out.

And I think you're a really good friend to Rose,

And I thought maybe I could sing Hannah a song.

And I thought, "If we're lucky, by the time we get home,

And I was wondering how you felt

And I wish you would just break up with me

And I'll have the spicy sauce

And I'm just...I'm shattered. He really snuggled me last night.

And I'm playing the role of your daddy?

And if he's standing there looking cute and he's forward enough,

And if I hear that you did anything for yourself,

And if something goes wrong, I'll deal with it?

And if they also swipe right, Tinder introduces you.

And if they were to separate

And if you swipe right, it means that you like them

And it tricked me into thinking that it's okay to smoke meth.

And it was the most adorable thing in the world!

And it's just very, like...

And just a touch of mackerel essence.

And make sure they direct debit the rent, no excuses

And maybe he's got a bit of money but he's not arrogant.

And maybe keep her in this mood if you could just,

And not giving it back.

And now she's texting me.

And now, whenever I go on the internet,

And rich and dead.

And said, "Let's bake a cake."

And she didn't like that many things, so...

And she still sort of felt love for you.

And sold to the young man in the mint green coat.

And somehow Mae's twisted that to mean

And spices and pepper.

And sure, like, I guess I'll admit that I've been struggling,

And that has always been

And that I'm very proud of you.

And that you're a grandparent

And that you're, like, wearing a monocle and eating jellied eel?

And that's because I tend to think nice things unsaid

And the gay on the ground looks up at him and says, "Am I hurt?

And the gay who wasn't on the ride

And the millions of years and the stardust and the mammoths,

And the more I try and get it back, the more I strangle it.

And the third time he goes around, the chain snaps!

And then he's up at reception,

And then I realised that's what I do.

And then one day it's just gonna feel less shit.

And then put into a cookie jar in my million dollar home.

And then setting it off.

And then she deteriorated into this dark place.

And then she said I had no idea,

And then she will wash my body with a damp silk cloth.

And then what happens?

And then what I would do is make it so that when I walk past you,

And then you get all these white people, who are not me,

And then you get curious about those apps

And then... I do like gays and fairs.

And they are laughing at you for agreeing to pee on a school kid.

And they need someone to pee on them and none of them need to go?

And they'll be paying half price.

And they're furious about these programs

And think that'd be fun for me?

And Tim decides to go on the ride with the chairs that spin around.

And to finish, a few eggs.

And Tom is worried that I... I need to talk to Tom.

And try and find sense or purpose.

And when we said no,

And you do sex with her?

And you thought, maybe with a bit of time and thinking,

And you're beautiful.

And your bisexuals were lying.

And, like, that's...that's bad.

And, look, I actually remember why I loved him.

And, uh, put some papaya on your eye.

And, um, Ella, she will come every morning

And... I mean, I did not think this through.

And... Taylor Swift,

Anything. Even if it's small

Anytime everyone is happy and calm, you say something mean.

Anyway, we were all bullied at school a bit, weren't we?

Are usually the best things.

Are you all out? Done at 1.5 million?

Are you alright? Yeah, sorry. It's fine.

Are you breaking up with me? Are we done?

Are you kidding?

Are you OK to be by yourself? Yep.

Are you ready? (SNIFFLES)

Are you sure? It's pretty spicy.

Are you sure? No.

Are you trying to think of all the negative reasons

Are you two all right?

Are you worried about going into a dark place like your mum?

Are you... are you maybe gonna have sex with me?

Arnold got that for me for Valentine's Day.

Arnold, maybe you can pretend to be Tom.

Arnold, you were absolutely right.

ARNOLD: Please leave a message and I will call you back.

As much as I did, you know?

As the truest version of myself.

Ask them if they have a partner,

At 1 million, ladies and gentlemen. 1 million.

At 1.3 million. At 1.350...

At 1.5 million, first call.

At 1.5 million.

At 920... Got the strategy?

At 960,000 bid now. 960. Anywhere else?

At 980,000. Stay with them, Josh.

Awkward for you.

Aww.

Be sad around me. Be sad around me.

Be strong, Josh, OK? Don't show weakness.

Beautiful cured goose ham

Beautiful flavours of vanilla,

Beautiful performance.

Because he gets motion sickness.

Because he's not Willy Wonka?

Because I am here on a date with you.

Because I like having you as a friend.

Because I was worried that when it did I wouldn't like it.

Because I'm pretty sure that when I took your nose I gave it back,

Because I'm the one who pays when it all goes tits up!

Because if I have to wait till tomorrow

Because it's a thing you tell people

Because nobody cares about her as much as I did and that's...

Because nobody reads the newspaper anymore, OK,

Because we have the internet now.

Because you are very needy.

Because, like, I'm sad, you know,

Before the potentially annoying thing happens.

Before you even get out of bed.

Before you give them the room.

Being examined by the really hot doctor,

Beluga caviar?

Between your personality and my personality?

Big, big strata fees.

Black beans?

Black fruits are like, you know, blackberries

Boo.

Brilliant.

Brilliant. Good.

Bully! Bully!

But do you remember the boy who's Aboriginal, which doesn't define him,

But do you think maybe we could take your mum off the table?

But fine, yes, I guess that's an insult. Arnold?

But fuck, you know, like, if my mum dies,

But he look like Willy Wonka, right?

But I am top of the class, right?

But I can do three push ups.

But I can organise it.

But I can see by the face that you're making right now

But I didn't mean out of the house.

But I do like in him thinking that I'm happy enough to climb trees.

But I don't want to say it's not, just in case it is.

But I have a really lovely photo of you.

But I just feel I've got to start standing up for myself.

But I just need, like, a very quick way of letting you know

But I think that's a normal kind of sad.

But I told the truth this time, so I think it's okay

But I'm not going to because I'm a good person.

But I've been googling how.

But I've not asked you for nothin'.

But it does get a really nice sense of structure

But it just can't, it cannot be made better.

But it just told me why other mums killed themselves.

But it's not insight, OK, I was just being funny.

But now I think maybe it's just because I'm sick.

But she was just acknowledging that you guys were in love

But she was really... she was a very big,

But she's just such a dope, you know.

But thanks for telling me.

But the chance of it being passed on is only 10%.

But the decisions you make, they're genuinely entertaining,

But the more time went by, the more I just got scared.

But the thing about that is that the most efficient way

But then it never came.

But then they go off and they get worried about dinner

But then you hate it and I'm sorry and let's never fight again.

But then you took mine and I don't know what you've done with it.

But they're fine now

But they're young at heart. OK.

But we did again so that you could hear the funny horse pun.

But when I get there, the light isn't on.

But you just can't make yourself love him.

But you're doing, like... you're trying to embarrass me

But you're not tired from cancer.

But you're not too bad.

But, also, my mum just killed herself.

But, jeez, forget it, then. I'm sorry.

But, like, in a good way.

But, no, that's the point. OK.

But, you know, I just think it would really make her day

But, you know, the affairs, I couldn't look past them.

But... okay, Josh...

Can anybody hear me?

Can I ask you something?

Can I get you anything else? A tea or coffee?

Can we talk about living in a loft now?

Can you please just hurry up and open it?

Can you please tell my mother you exist?

Can you stop me becoming my dad?

Can you, like, do something?

Can you...can you help me with that, please?

Can't I do the thing

Can't you just be happy that I don't have cancer?

Cats. Cat people.

Chicken dinner. What?

Claire got out. She did it.

CLAIRE: No, this is just one of those things

Come here. Over there, to you?

Come on through.

Correct. Can't you just stay here and feel superior?

Costs the same whether you complain about it or not, okay?

Could you get me a glass of water?

Crazy bitch!

Dad, Dad...I have something to tell you

Dad, I haven't bought you a Christmas present

Dad, I just, I really need you to stop clearing out the fridge.

Dad, I think I have a confession to make

Dad, it's just... What's in there?

Dad, just stop clearing out the fridge. Thank you.

Dad, Mum killed herself.

Dad, you made me drink fruit juice every morning of my entire childhood, okay?

Dad?

Dad? Um..

Death is... That's the worst thing.

Definitely not someone we would become friends with.

Desperate for me not to have cancer.

Diabetes.

Did he do anything else to you apart from calling you Peaches?

Did she say 'Josh'? Yeah, yeah. Say.

Did you ask her?

Did you get that washing out of the machine?

Did you like it when he touched your boobies?

Did you say anything to him that wasn't about your lump?

Did you, little Gracie? Hey? Josh.

Do I have anything to worry about?

Do I remind you of your dad

Do I remind you of your dad

Do I remind you of... It's a sore point.

Do I, um...do I remind you of your dad

Do you get rejected a lot?

Do you have cancer? No. I have fibroadenoma.

Do you miss Arnold?

Do you need anything? Tea or wine? Maybe not alcoholic

Do you not think there's a discord

Do you think I've been over perky?

Do you think it's cancer? I doubt it.

Do you think she's expecting to get into heaven?

Do you think she's thinking of killing herself?

Do you want me to choke you or something?

Do you want rice? No rice.

Do you want some?

Do you want to go and do something fun?

Do you want to punch?

Do you want to send her a little video message?

Does he, though?

Does it matter?

Don't embarrass me in front of Dan.

Don't get too excited.

Don't know who that sounds like, to be honest.

Don't look at me! Don't look at me!

Don't really know what that means.

Don't skip that bit now.

Don't think I don't know it's not the same thing, Josh.

Don't try and Oompa Loompa your way out of this one, Wonka.

Don't worry about it because I'm paying.

Don't you think instead it'd be fun to, like, just be cute with me?

Don't you think it's a little bit arrogant to be scared of dying?

Don't you think?

ELLA: I always just assumed this is how tired everyone was.

ELLA: Tom... TOM: What?

ELLA: You see, he was very hot, and he had to touch my boobies.

Ella?

Ella's here. She's driving the van 'cause she's a feminist.

Emotionally taxing.

Enough is enough, okay? I won't be walked over.

Enriched with lamb's udder

Especially when they're terrible

Even if I don't iron, they just stop for me.

Every time I think I can't be more surprised by him,

Every time we tried to go for a walk,

Everybody's very dressed up.

Everyone keeps trying to make it better,

Everyone knows.

Everyone looks angry. At 1.3 million.

Everything goes blank, and when I come to,

Everything looks disgusting from too close, like skin.

Exactly. It's a bit odd.

Excuse me. (CLEARS THROAT)

Excuse me. Sorry.

Face.

Fibroadenoma. High five! OK!

Fine, fine!

Fine, we won't light the fucking fireworks, then!

Fine. (SIGHS)

Fine. We're broken up, then. Done.

Fireworks are ready! Are you ready?

Five!

For choosing to end her life?

For her to kill herself,

For me, the question here is, what's wrong with you?

For my parents to make me not want to do something

For, like, 25 years.

Forgot what I was gonna say.

Four!

From the terroir of McLaren Vale.

Fuck off!

Fuck, I just don't even know.

Fuck, that's recent, you know what I mean?

Fuck!

Fuck!

Fuck! Fuck!

Fuck! JOSH: Yeah.

Fuck. No, no, no, no, no!

Fuckin' light.

Funny hobby.

Gee, with the price of avocados lately, Josh,

Geoffrey?

Geoffrey? Geoffrey, I asked you a question.

God, they're flash bathrooms.

Going on in her head, yeah?

Going once.

Going once.

Going twice.

Going twice. Going three times.

Gold sunglasses lady, 1.4 million.

Good as new.

Good, good.

Good.

Good. Feels better. Mmm.

Good. Sorted that out.

Good. You're doing the right thing.

Goodbye. 'Josh'. See? She said it!

Goodbye. I'm sorry

Goodnight. Night.

Google Ads keeps trying to sell me a new mum.

Gosh, you've hyped it up, haven't you?

Got nothing to say about how wrong you were?

Grace, did you put my nose in the plant?

Grace, I'm just a little bit concerned

Grace, who is this? Hmm?

Grace, you absolutely cannot go around taking people's noses

Grace...who's this? OK.

Grow up and pull your bloody head in.

Grown in different soil or different weather

Guacamole? It's 2 extra.

Guys, I could be dying! Oh, you wish.

Guys!

Guys! I'm sick of this game.

H h hang on. Hang on, hang on.

Ha ha! The bad news is that he thinks his grandma glows in the dark.

Ha! You check the plant?

Hannah Banana.

Hannah, go to your room.

Hannah, I feel like you and I have a lot in common.

Hannah, I just...I gotta go to bed

Hannah, I think that you are fantastic and hilarious,

Hannah, I think you have Hollywood cheekbones, like Eddie Redmayne,

Hannah, we should set up your tent.

Hannah, you can sleep on the floor of the van, like a sleepover.

HANNAH: I don't know what to do.

Hannah. Oh.

Harrumph!

Have you been thinking all night

Have you decided what you're going to do with her?

Have you found someone to rent Tom's room yet?

Have you got, like, a little tissue?

Have you seen his emu impression?

He asked us why we were there and none of us could answer.

He broke up with me.

He definitely doesn't look at the other boys like that

He doesn't know what breasts are meant to feel like.

He gave me a hickey. Look at it.

He gets really thirsty when he wakes up in the morning,

He goes and does something more weird.

He goes around a second time and he waves to the other gay.

He goes around once and he waves to the other gay.

He had a tattoo of a child on his body.

He has this new found sense of independence.

He hasn't left yet? What's going on?

He is so fine. Josh, are you fine?

He just messaged and said that he's ten minutes away.

He just saw the strata fees.

He just wants to be friends. So...

He just will not stop talking about how much weight you've put on.

He says he won't come if I don't pee on him.

He smoked meth. Actual meth.

He wants me to pee on him.

He was a dream. Mmm. I don't know.

He was meant to come over today but he didn't show up.

He was so young for a doctor.

He was, like, a full babe. Like a model but educated.

He's 18.

He's a fully grown adult

He's being...he's being extraordinarily sweet

He's crying in there?

He's just jealous of the compliment.

He's just shocked that things in life occur.

He's like a chubby Stepford wife.

He's not answering.

He's not sad enough. You know, he is never sad.

He's said that quite a lot.

He's such a jerk.

He's trying to mark you.

Health and safety hazard. (LAUGHS)

Hello! Am I here?

Hello?

Hello.

Here he is. Big man.

Here we go. No, no, you'll like this one.

Here, you just do it. OK.

Hey, buddy. (WHALE SONG CONTINUES)

Hey, but you brought it up. It is the stupidest...

Hey, do you know what I think you'd really love?

Hey, do you remember the birds' nests?

Hey, do you want to hear something interesting?

Hey, excuse me.

Hey, excuse... excuse me.

Hey, guess what? What?

Hey, guys! I've got a surprise.

Hey, I'm still scared! I don't mean it.

Hey, Josh, can you do me a favour?

Hey, Ma. I'm sorry, I can't really talk.

Hey, this will cheer you up, Josh, OK?

Hey! Hey, wait!

Hey! TOM: Josh.

Hey?

Hi, guys. I was thinking about putting a bit of Mum,

Hi, I'm Josh. I'm not here. I'm sorry. Leave a message. Goodbye.

Hi, Ma!

Hi, Ma! Ma, it's me.

Hi, Ma.

Hi, Rose! We wish you were here!

Hi.

Hi. How's it going?

Hi. I'm Tom.

His mum died.

Hmm. Yeah.

Hmm... Uh, Tom's... Is Tom wearing headphones?

Ho ho!

Honestly, I thought you'd be relieved.

Hot chocolate? No. I'm fine, thank you.

How are we gonna fit that mattress up there?

How are you feeling?

How could they possibly need our help?

How did you forget to eat $150 worth of caviar?

How do I convince him I wanted a tattoo of a scorpion?

How do my son and my ex wife not know what my job is?

How expensive is this place?

How many have you had penetrative anal sex with?

How many of those partners did you do receptive anal sex with?

How many sexual partners have you had in the last six months?

How much is that?

How was it?

How was it?

How will I get home if you're on my Uber?

Hungry, Alan? No.

I actually just hate you.

I agree.

I already looked in there.

I also like how right I am and how wrong you are.

I always felt like she had a crush on you.

I am feeling optimistic and enthusiastic about my dating future.

I am in love with Hannah for doing this.

I am on a date.

I am so glad I got a chance to clean up the mess for a change.

I bet the first thing you do every day when you wake up

I can do that. Thank you.

I can not drive home, so I'll probably get a parking ticket.

I can think of literally nothing helpful to say.

I can't begin to imagine how you must be feeling.

I can't believe this is actually happening!

I can't believe this, Josh.

I can't believe you wrote a letter to my mum.

I can't help it.

I can't look at them from the outside

I can't offer you tea. I've got water or milk.

I choked Geoffrey. Yep, he asked me to choke him, so I did it.

I could afford to commute to work by helicopter.

I could go on about this for hours,

I couldn't live with Hannah, terrifying woman.

I did worry when you went to school in red tights.

I didn't even want this fucking ugly bed.

I didn't know we were including just oral, I'm sorry.

I didn't listen to her, Josh. I just...

I didn't organise my own intervention.

I didn't really want you to pay rent.

I didn't want her to leave, Josh.

I didn't want to do it. I just did it to be polite.

I disagree. I think it's a little funny.

I do like gifts.

I don't even know why we're talking about the boat again.

I don't even remember.

I don't feel better.

I don't give a shit what you do with me when I die.

I don't have any opinions about your figure.

I don't know

I don't know what 'side bit' means.

I don't know what to do now

I don't know where he is. I don't know where anyone is.

I don't know why I said that about the books. Okay, I have books

I don't know why she's being so mean to me.

I don't know, Dad. I just think you're allowed to be sad.

I don't know, I've never been to an auction before.

I don't know, it doesn't say on his profile.

I don't know, it just seems I'm a bit young

I don't know, OK? My emotions are out of control.

I don't know, OK? My emotions are out of control.

I don't know.

I don't know.

I don't know. I googled, "Why did Mum kill herself?"

I don't know. I've never had it before and it tastes sort of off

I don't know. It's just what people say to do, isn't it?

I don't know. Uh..

I don't like seeking.

I don't like you on these apps

I don't like you walking around with all that rejection.

I don't really want him to touch it either.

I don't think I know what you do.

I don't think I've seen her this happy for years.

I don't think that boy was a bully, Peaches.

I don't think they're done yet.

I don't think you need to clear out the fridge.

I don't think you've ever really known me

I don't want any of that celebration of your life bullshit,

I don't want things to go off.

I don't want to be dramatic about it

I don't want to do this via voice mail.

I don't want to encourage you,

I don't want to go back to the hospital.

I don't want to. Yeah, I just don't want to call my dad

I don't...I don't want someone to come and get her.

I dunno, it just seems like... like you don't really matter that much.

I exist.

I feel a bit sick.

I feel judged.

I feel like every time you talk about the best parts

I feel like some baklava.

I feel like some baklava.

I feel optimistic and enthusiastic about the future.

I feel very awkward and weird about how horrible we've been.

I feel...I feel so useless and small.

I felt like I was pissing into infinity. (LAUGHS)

I forgot. I don't have any gas

I found her in her room. She's dead.

I got so scared when we hit a bit of turbulence

I gotta go now, OK? I'm at Mum's. No! No, no.

I guess that I go home and I confront Hannah.

I guess we better lock up and get out of here.

I had chronic fatigue for two years. I can handle it.

I hate it when you blame the patriarchy.

I have a girlfriend now.

I have done so much.

I have never seen anyone more scared of flying than me.

I have something to tell you.

I have to go.

I have two cats.

I have wanted to talk to you so much,

I have... I have no idea what you want.

I haven't asked for your help lately.

I haven't decided yet.

I haven't got one.

I hope you're having a really lovely time camping

I hope you're not expecting child support.

I hope you're well.

I just definitely forgot to pack a tent

I just didn't know.

I just don't know what to do now.

I just don't think it's gonna be fine.

I just don't think it's right that I burden everyone.

I just don't think there's that much you can do, to be honest,

I just don't think we're very good for each other.

I just feel like the amount of time I spend

I just forced you into it.

I just got a bit overwhelmed and, yeah, I made a mistake.

I just got overwhelmed. We're always fighting.

I just have to break up with him.

I just left

I just made the situation happen.

I just sort of feel the same way as I do

I just think probably that you just hate me.

I just think you're ready to not need me so much.

I just told Arnold that Josh was still in love with him.

I just want to say a few things.

I just wanted her out of my knee circle.

I just wanted to say that. I don't know why.

I just... I thought you deserve to know.

I just...I think I'm gonna need you to call Arnold.

I know I seem really bottomy, but actually I really don't like it.

I know it was my idea but sometimes I have bad ideas.

I know it's a gamble here,

I know it's not perfect, but I think it's fine.

I know that's not what you mean when you say you don't want to,

I know when you're lying. I'm your mother.

I know you can't make sense of mental illness, I know.

I know you can't make sense of mental illness, I know.

I know you've got mental issues, but Christ, boy,

I know you've got some really good tools

I know, Tom. We're selling. On the market...

I know.

I know.

I lied because I wanted you to stop looking scared.

I like to smoke a bit before sex.

I live in a caravan. I don't have a job.

I lost track for a while, if I'm honest, but I'm focused.

I love corn chips.

I love you too, Alan.

I love you.

I love you.

I love you.

I love you.

I mean, 16, that seems like a lot, doesn't it?

I mean, have you ever successfully hailed a taxi in an unironed shirt?

I mean, haven't my people already put you through enough?

I mean, he looks adult. I promise he looks like an adult.

I mean, I can't go and see Arnold with a hickey.

I mean, I don't know why you don't care if I'm involved or not.

I mean, I don't like the idea of the pain,

I mean, I don't think I can convince him that I wanted to climb a tree.

I mean, I don't want anything to change.

I mean, I just have to, don't I? Just have to.

I mean, I love being alone.

I mean, I take your side plenty, don't I?

I mean, I used to have real bad ingrown toenails

I mean, it's just disgusting, isn't it?

I mean, it's such a controlled environment.

I mean, like, I'm still sad, obviously,

I mean, taxis, they just stop for me.

I mean, that's a lie.

I mean, that's not so bad, is it? Peaches. Delicious!

I mean, there's nothing funny about that, Dad.

I mean, we didn't let Aboriginal people go to school

I mean, yes, of course. Let's.

I mean, you can't hail a taxi, can you?

I mean, you would not be saying that

I miss the days when your gays were gay, your straights were straight

I missed you, John.

I need somebody to help me say it one time!

I never said you weren't a bed expert.

I probably have nicer feet, though.

I promise I won't hurt him.

I promise. No, that's not what I want!

I really don't want to, but also I'm a very shit guy,

I really feel like I need some attention from you right now.

I said I'd call and I didn't. I'm a dick! I'm a penis!

I said, "Grace probably thinks Peppa Pig is her mum."

I should have taken the hint when your best friend left you

I should not be here anymore

I spoke to my dad about Mum dying

I still hate myself so much I want to hit myself with a hammer.

I suppose those bees

I tell everybody how much he loved holding my hand

I think he remembers me.

I think he was in love with you.

I think he whispered, "I love you."

I think I accidentally swallowed a bit.

I think I just didn't want anything to change

I think I just saw Geoffrey. (CHUCKLES)

I think I said, "It's weird having a doctor who's the same age as you

I think I was...

I think I'm bleeding.

I think I'm gonna buy this place!

I think I'm interesting, but actually I just have a beard.

I think it will be. Do you?

I think it's acceptable risk.

I think maybe he just doesn't like me anymore.

I think maybe we'll try the poles in the other holes.

I think she would've liked that.

I think she's a bad mother.

I think so.

I think the poles might go through these holes.

I think there were a number of reasons for the separation.

I think this is it, 1.5.

I think Tom should film them, so if something does go wrong,

I think we both know this.

I think we have to break up.

I think we should go and get tested for HIV together instead.

I think you need to calm down a bit, Josh.

I think you say things you don't mean to make people like you.

I thought people your age preferred getting taxis.

I thought that I'd change my mind by the time I got here.

I thought, like, "Well, that is so weird."

I told you not to dress as a fairy.

I tried to talk to Hannah like you said, and she left, Joshua!

I used two just because.

I want a second opinion.

I want to break up!

I want to have tears.

I want to kiss you. Gosh.

I want you to know that. Like, it's not weird to me.

I want you to know, we actually already had that conversation today,

I want, like, proper snotty tears.

I wanted her to change.

I wanted to put her somewhere that she would like.

I was Cupid, obviously, okay? I mean, I had heart shaped arrows

I was just going to say

I was just trying to be helpful.

I was so sure it had something to do with real estate.

I was waiting for a text to confirm my pizza.

I will be able to glean some happiness from this. Thank you.

I will be selling the property out today at 980,000.

I will be very angry, Josh.

I wish he'd touched my boobies.

I wish I could have taken the hint for myself. Fuck!

I would put her on, but she is having too much fun.

I wouldn't be winning...

I... don't know.

I'd like to add that she was a good woman.

I'd like to be remembered as a war hero.

I'd like to live in a loft with a ladder.

I'd love an ambush for a birthday present.

I'd love to watch the tennis, except I'm stuck here.

I'll be a proper gentleman.

I'll certainly pass those on.

I'll get some rice!

I'll get the mop. No, it's OK. I'll clean it up.

I'll get there.

I'll just entertain myself.

I'll only hit bad guys.

I'll think of something.

I'm a bit worried it's going to go to voicemail.

I'm a lady. (LAUGHS)

I'm a managerial consultant, Josh.

I'm a podiatrist.

I'm a...I'm a funny guy.

I'm an actual penis!

I'm feeling like I learnt a lot about myself and the world.

I'm focusing on trying to get back to the truest version of myself.

I'm going to give you a count of one to five and then...

I'm going to list some other bad things now. Okay.

I'm going to start again. Two gay guys go to a fair, right?

I'm going to the toilet

I'm gonna become my dad.

I'm gonna have to, aren't I?

I'm just saying, the reason we broke up were the affairs.

I'm just trying to, like, get myself out there, you know?

I'm like the Hermione of using condoms.

I'm lonely!

I'm not done listing bad things.

I'm not even playing anymore.

I'm not gonna wash your manky corpse.

I'm not sure that I thought it through!

I'm paying!

I'm ready to focus.

I'm really... I'm trying not to be

I'm sick of sexuality being fluid.

I'm so exhausted.

I'm so sorry that your mum is still dead.

I'm so sorry.

I'm sorry about last night.

I'm sorry about YOUR life.

I'm sorry for being shit.

I'm sorry for being shit.

I'm sorry you feel anxious. I shouldn't have brought it up.

I'm sorry, it's just so awful. (SNIFFS)

I'm sorry, Josh. I didn't... I didn't mean it, Josh.

I'm sorry, Mum. I'm on a date and I have to go.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. Leave a message. Goodbye.

I'm such a baby about it. It's so embarrassing.

I'm sure they're pretty in the dark.

I'm sure you'll easily find someone much better than me.

I'm telling you a story about my dead grandma.

I'm too tired to argue, Tom. Fine.

I'm Wurundjeri on my mum's side.

I'm...

I've been doing mischief.

I've been grounded again.

I've been talking to those moving guys the entire day.

I've been thinking a lot that my mum used to be happy and OK,

I've been trying so hard not to fight with him.

I've been worried about my genes, so I googled.

I've come this far.

I've decided the fireworks are safe and fine and actually very thrilling.

I've got milk. Look, in tiny buckets.

I've got one of a scorpion.

I've got tenure. Oh.

I've really been trying to self improve lately.

I've seen him in velvet pants.

I've started seeing someone else.

I've taken up boxing training.

I've worn myself out.

I've, er, got posture.

If I could stop people turning into their parents,

If I was dead, I would absolutely not care if someone looked at me.

If she didn't drink so much chocolate milk.

If that's what you taste like then I just... you need to change something.

If you don't put the right poles in the right holes.

If you go out in an unironed shirt, then I just...

If you need a lift, you call me, yeah?

If you need me to bring you dinner, you call me and I get it.

If you saw all the French lace I've been buying.

If you want to go, you just go, then.

Imagine if you had a hot doctor touching your body.

In her, um, widow's veil

In the front room, on display for 4 5 days

In the pictures, there was a bed up here.

In, like, a nice way. Like, he likes it.

Incredible. Like living in a ship.

Instead of the people that don't like you, it's fine.

Insufferable.

Is because, like, the same variety of g****

Is check your phone to see the time

Is for them to do it.

Is gonna be an improvement?

Is he fun?

Is it a date,

Is it a girl with low self esteem?

Is it cool, is it?

Is it okay to eat?

Is it really so hard for you to believe that I'm on a date?

Is tap alright? Yeah, yeah.

Is that a lot?

Is that a speck of mould?

Is that an insult? I don't know if that's an insult.

Is that his name? Jim.

Is that meth?

Is that okay?

Is that right? Just shut up.

Is that the kind of anecdote you like to hear?

Is that the side bit? What is the side bit, Tom?

Is this distracting you from pretending that it's the olden days

Is this not the truest version of yourself?

Is to just stop being afraid of death altogether.

Is... is that a good anecdote for you?

Isn't Hermione's only downfall her hygiene?

It can make you sort of quite ill sometimes.

It definitely wasn't my doing.

It doesn't matter. But you've never seen anything like them

It is a bit.

It is so mean of you to think that I would do that.

It just means that I'm probably getting my period.

It just seems so harsh saying this like this.

It matters to Tim and Jim. It'd matter to Tim and Jim very much.

It means I was bullied.

It might be overpriced. Yeah, boy!

It really wasn't looking where it was goin'.

It said that if you have bipolar,

It says, "Welcome home," like one of those frogs.

It seems like your mum's in a really good place, doesn't it?

It was a health and safety hazard.

It was Geoffrey! Hey.

It was not a mess.

It was the prequel to Fury Road

It was the ritual theatre.

It was until you said you're okay now.

It'll be fine.

It's a good pasta maker.

It's a queen sized mattress, Tom. It'll be fine.

It's absolutely not my fault you get seasick.

It's all good. All good here.

It's all very... just a bit shit, you know?

It's better to do it when Grace is young.

It's delicious.

It's deranged!

It's destroying rural communities.

It's ending. At 1.5 million.

It's fine.

It's fine.

It's fun to pretend to be single for 20 minutes,

It's going very well, I think,

It's good. Yeah. I mean, that is good.

It's hard to tell behind the hat and sunglasses.

It's her body. Her body was actually emanating the glow.

It's just a nice feeling to feel love for someone

It's just fibroadenoma. Is that good?

It's just so clear, every time you have, like, a couple of drinks

It's just sometimes when you're drunk

It's just that I think it might not work

It's just weird that you would presume

It's just, um...it's just

It's just... (SIGHS AND SNIFFS)

It's just... (SIGHS AND SNIFFS)

It's just...it's just I'm worried I'm hurting you.

It's like blood diamonds, you know?

It's like I forgot she was mental.

It's like...this is a joke. My life is a joke.

It's new but I like it.

It's not a fun Friday night.

It's not a trick. Go.

It's not cancer? Not cancer.

It's not even your worst feature.

It's not my favourite!

It's not personal, it's my professional opinion.

It's not that easy, though, is it?

It's not working.

It's not you, you know.

It's okay to have not been bullied.

It's okay. I just got tested.

It's okay. It's fine.

It's presumptuous to call this a date.

It's probably code for you.

It's really not like that.

It's so awful.

It's sort of a date.

It's sort of why wine is so, like, romanticised,

It's too much, Josh. It's too much.

It's Tuesday night, after all.

It's very gross. It is gross

Jalapenos? Yes, to jalapenos.

Jeez, I'm getting sick of this mysterious business he's doing.

Jesus Christ.

Jim gets motion sickness and... And...

Josh could do it. He always needs to pee.

Josh just told me he's breaking up with Arnold.

Josh was definitely the worst part of the relationship.

Josh, 1.5 million in the end!

Josh, can you feel it, please? No, I just could never.

Josh, do you... do you think

Josh, Hannah has been ignoring me.

Josh, have you heard from Hannah?

Josh, how old is this boy?

Josh, I don't wanna be difficult,

Josh, I'm busy. OK.

Josh, I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have left

Josh, Rose...Rose and I got divorced. I...

Josh, you are a bully to Tom.

JOSH: Nah, he just does that when he's cold.

JOSH: The community? They'll come.

JOSH: Yeah, it was just so exhilarating.

Josh! Could everyone just behave, please?

Josh! Josh!

Josh? Hey?

Josh.

Josh. Josh!

Josh. Josh.

Josh. OK, that's enough.

Just 'cause you're in school musicals doesn't mean anything.

Just any negative emotion.

Just bad. That's the answer.

Just eat around it.

Just feel it, please. I've already touched it.

Just give her a compliment. She needs your support.

Just gonna go over there and sit on a log.

Just heard that you guys weren't very good at threesomes.

Just kept bouncing back open.

Just let me finish.

Just let things calm down a bit, maybe, yeah?

Just lift your arm for me.

Just like a big brave man, a big brave strong man.

Just put her on top of the fridge.

Just quiet.

Just take your time, Josh. Don't let him pressure you.

Just text her and tell her you're sorry, okay?

Just text her, okay?

Just trying to meet people and exist in the world.

Just, what I think, I think the key is, right,

Just, yeah...

Just...

Kids these days! Am I right?

Ladies first.

Last time I was at the hospital my gran died.

Let's have a shower.

Letting them know we're on the market will get things moving...

Like robbers, etc.

Like, a really pretty guy with, like, cute curly hair,

Like, everyone's just still so racist.

Like, I actually hate you at the moment.

Like, I don't think she wanted to be married to you,

Like, I get it, I get it. She's actually not very interesting.

Like, I'm smart.

Like, I'm so furious.

Like, I'm your favourite. (LAUGHS)

Like, in the grand scheme of things, like the billions people

Like, in the scheme of the world, she was just an average lady.

Like, just the tiniest little bit in this confetti cannon

Like, look at you. You're winning at life.

Like, taxis aren't stopping for Aboriginal people, are they?

Like, that's very... Fuck, shit, that's like your parents' generation,

Like, there's just nothing in the world.

Like, there's such a bigger chance that I murder you right now

Like, we know she's a dope.

Like, who knows what version of reality she had

Like, yeah, sure, it's a real douchebag move

Like, you have to really believe

Listen. OK. OK.

Lock up your daughters, everyone, 'cause Alan's here.

Look at me I'm not just losing,

Look, I put up fairy lights.

Looking for a rise of 50.

Love you. Yep. Love you.

Ma?

Ma?

Mae and I need to communicate better.

Mae asked me to get you to cry more, so you do that.

MAE: If you need anything at all, you call me, OK?

MAE: There, you see?

MAE: What is he saying? Are they bidding?

Make sure they sign the lease

MAN: 920. AUCTIONEER: At 920 it is.

May be eaten shell and all.

Maybe all the time you spent hurting people for fun.

Maybe I just miss having someone around

Maybe I'll just...

Maybe I'm pregnant. (JASON LAUGHS)

Maybe it's still good?

Maybe tell me about your day.

Maybe you could say something nice to your mum?

Maybe you guys want to hang out with me, yeah?

Maybe you should drive down when you wake up!

Me she liked me.

Me too.

Methinks you might want to make your exit now.

Million dollar baby was thin and fit.

Miniature guide horse? Yeah.

Mixed with black pepper and some baking spices.

Mm hm.

Mm hm. No, Jim's on the ride.

Mm hm. So the first time he...

Mm mm, no, I don't think. I have no thoughts.

Mm mm. No, I'm very responsible.

Mm, and clarinets don't ruin 'Shine Bright Like a Diamond'.

Mm.

Mmm, no, no, no, no. Not every time.

Mmm!

Mmm! Mm, delicious. Here, I'll let him explain.

Mmm! Mmm! Mmm! Mmm.

Mmm! My compliments to the chef.

Mmm...

Mmm... They probably would, actually.

More credit than I ever gave them.

Morning! I'm making porridge.

Mum told me that she was in love with you.

Mum, sometimes I wonder if I'll ever do anything that'll make you proud of me.

Mum, we're just playing, okay. Calm down.

Murdering lots of people.

My dad never made me lunch, actually.

My doctor's the same gender as me.

My ex boyfriend loved being choked.

My first fight went better than expected.

My great granddad though, whoa. I mean, he probably would have

My phone broke.

My whole stash!

Nah, it's just you and your dad

Nah, nah.

Never had a doctor the same age as me before.

Next time you send a video, get some skin out.

Nick Wasserman was constantly harassing me.

Night.

No more bullshit involved lately.

No one got out.

No son of mine is going to be hitting people for fun, Josh.

No, ah.

No, already have. You let me. You let me.

No, are you crying? Claire, stop crying. It's gross.

No, Dad, you can't eat an artichoke

No, definitely, he misses you. He loves you. Yeah, definitely

No, Ella, let's not turn this song up, yeah?

No, fine. Okay, fine. I'll stay here.

No, Hannah, you're not allowed to insult yourself, okay?

No, I did not

No, I don't need to. She's, like, she's cold.

No, I don't think so. That's not for me.

No, I don't want to leave, actually, as it happens.

No, I just want him to say, "You're doing a really great job.

No, I just...

No, I mean, I'm not angry at her, I just... (SNIFFS)

No, I need my phone to be capable of feeling joy!

No, I won't, all right? I won't. Stop looking so scared.

No, I'm too scared to see what she says.

No, it's been decided.

No, it's good, it's good.

No, it's like the boat all over again.

No, it's not. (CLEARS THROAT) Yeah.

No, Josh, I really want to start again.

No, let's not be those guys.

No, no, I need you to keep crying.

No, no, let's not use a potentially dead man as entertainment.

No, no, no, no, just take a step back here.

No, no, no, we can make this happen.

No, no, no. Not you.

No, no, no. You're doing, like...

No, no. I love it spicy, yeah. (CHUCKLES)

No, no. I'll...I'll clean it up.

No, of course you didn't.

No, please don't. Just not today.

No, she didn't listen. She never speaks.

No, thank you.

No, that's not a thing.

No, that's not a true thing. Toothpaste isn't magic.

No, this definitely feels like I'm being broken up with.

No, this is very good.

No, this one's made entirely in steel,

No, Tim's on the ride. Oh, it doesn't matter.

No, Tom. I was too worried about my cancer.

No, we're never done.

No, yes, but if we designed all activities around what you liked,

No, you are.

No, you being here doesn't make any sense, Hannah.

No, you hate me.

No, you're doing tricking.

No, you're just saying that so you can divert attention from me. Now get out!

No, you're just trying to get rid of me.

No, you're tricking, aren't you?

No.

No.

No.

No.

No.

No.

No.

No.

No. He...

No. I don't think you should, to be honest.

No. I mean, she packed bags.

No. Mum, ab so lute ly not.

No. Nah.

No. No thanks, just to be safe. I'm trying not to eat carbs.

No. No, I don't think so.

No. No, no, it's not a joke.

No. No. (CHUCKLES)

No. No...

No. You're not on a diet.

No... obviously you should talk to her, just maybe not today.

Nope.

Nope. No. No.

Nope. Nope.

Not anymore.

Not driving me to school in red tights seems easy enough.

Not me, obviously.

Not me. Don't punch me.

Not me. I didn't. I wouldn't.

Nothing.

Nothing's ever been more clear than that guy's dreaminess.

Now I don't even know if it's fun anymore.

Now, I don't know if we just got lucky

Now, putting aside when you're a bit of a brat with your dad,

Now, what the hell am I supposed to do now?

Now? You couldn't pretend to like me until we got home?

Nuh, I've seen worse. This guy still had a face.

Nuh, porridge is too cheerful for this shit.

Nup.

Obviously that's a weird lie that he's told me,

Obviously you don't think of me as a friend. You're just using me.

Of course I was bullied at school.

Of course, of course.

Of course, some milk.

Of the house, but you're not actually doing anything.

Of your relationship, it's always before I was born.

Oh, bugger me, that's good!

Oh, did you win?

Oh, don't be modest. That's... that is a beautiful shirt.

Oh, fine!

Oh, fuck.

Oh, fuck.

Oh, fuck. Sorry. I'm so sorry, Josh.

Oh, get fucked, you don't have a credit card.

Oh, God, that's fucked in the head.

Oh, God, they're so far from moving out.

Oh, God.

Oh, God.

Oh, he's fine. He's not fine.

Oh, I don't go out in unironed shirts.

Oh, I love you, darling.

Oh, I mean, how?

Oh, I remember.

Oh, I think I'm gonna start crying again.

Oh, I think so.

Oh, I wish. We've got so many more houses to look at.

Oh, I'm not longing for him.

Oh, it expired on Sunday.

Oh, it was just so often, lovey.

Oh, it's a shame. I quite like you.

Oh, it's busy, yeah.

Oh, Josh, I've always wanted to eat

Oh, my God, do you think someone died?

Oh, my God, this is happening.

Oh, my God, yeah, I have been doing squats, Dad. Thank you for noticing.

Oh, my God!

Oh, my God! We got it! We got it!

Oh, my plans never involve chitchat.

Oh, no, Ella, he just said he's in school uniform and hopes that's okay.

Oh, no, he just said he's in a wheelchair and he hopes that's okay.

Oh, no, I really thought you saw this coming.

Oh, no!

Oh, no! Why did I do that, Tom?

Oh, no.

Oh, no. No, no, no.

Oh, no. No, no, no.

Oh, no...

Oh, not guilt. Can't he go to a therapist?

Oh, shit.

Oh, shit.

Oh, shit. Sorry.

Oh, thank you for an incredible night.

Oh, thanks. That's very kind of you, Arnold.

Oh, that's vague.

Oh, um, Josh... What?

Oh, we're including just oral?

Oh, yeah, absolutely. No doubt about that.

Oh, yeah, we're... we're working through things.

Oh, yeah, you had reasons, I was a nightmare.

Oh, yeah! No, that is nice.

Oh, yeah. Pretend.

Oh, you know.

Oh, you're looking slim too..

Oh, you're probably fine. I mean, you're so tidy.

Oh, you've already said quite a lot.

Oh!

Oh!

Oh!

Oh! (CHUCKLES) Ohh! (GASPS)

Oh! (LAUGHS)

Oh! It's up to 1.35.

Oh! Mmm!

Oh! Ooh!

Oh.

Oh.

Oh. A while.

Oh...

Ohh! (GIGGLES)

Ohh! Fuck off.

Ohh! I had something to tell you but I can't remember.

Oi.

OK, are you hungry?

OK, but you just said you were trying to improve,

OK, fine. Yeah, he was hot. That was entertaining.

OK, I I can call for you, if you want.

OK, if I could do anything I like at all,

OK, let's just do this thing.

OK, no, I just... Yes, fine, we're on the market.

OK, OK.

OK, um, we should get food.

OK, well, I was hoping to distract you from all of that

OK.

OK. I'm good.

OK. OK.

OK. Sorry.

OK. Take that back, you sissy!

OK. Um, OK, you need to call your dad.

Okay

Okay, Arnold, I preferred it when you were more scared of the world.

Okay, cool. Let's get PEP.

Okay, Dad, tell me everything you want to tell me about the house.

Okay, fine, you go. I'll wait here

Okay, I just wanted to remind you

Okay, I... I... Okay, stop it.

Okay, just make sure you interview them

Okay, see ya.

Okay, so I've invented a game.

Okay, so now, Hannah, you have to insult Josh.

Okay, so, Mum, I've never said that really...

Okay, thanks, Ma. Thanks so much.

Okay, then. Fine.

Okay, well... well, this is shocking.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay. Cool. I'll call her and find her.

Okay. Hannah said you had a fight.

Okay. I won't talk to her, then.

Okay. It's good.

Okay. Pants.

Okay. That was a lot.

Okay. What happened?

On our honeymoon, on the island, there were these...

On the bus, across the oval. Always Peaches.

On top of everything else. Book me an Uber.

One gay guy goes on the spinning chair ride.

One!

Only, like, two. Yeah.

Ooh hoo! This really is not ideal.

Ooh, I love this song.

Ooh, I'm so jealous of her cheekbones.

Ooh! So sorry. Sorry.

Ooh. There we go. (CHUCKLES)

Oop! (CHUCKLES)

Or blackcurrants, just dark berries.

Or if I owe your dad and Aunty Peg

Or Johnny Depp, or like a woman, any woman also.

Or tax or Sea World and just...

Or the world's worst application for Young Australian of the Year?

Or we could just stop there and it's done.

Or when, um, orcas are in captivity.

Other than g****s, okay?

Other than that, he's all right.

Otherwise you'll be copping two for the price of one

Ov...

Oww! Are you alright?

People have been very nice to me,

PEP is like the morning after pill, but for HIV.

Perfect, yeah. Do you know what I didn't do?

Perhaps an anonymous group of friends at a party

Please be quiet. Still with you, sir. 960,000 bid.

Please don't make me go to bed alone.

Please leave your message and then press the, uh, hash key.

Please shut up, OK?

Please tell me you didn't do it.

Please. Please don't.

Pretending to help by standing in various parts

Pretty sure that's exactly the same compliment you gave Josh's mum.

Probably his child, I reckon.

Promise I'm not going to get in trouble?

Putting yourself out there like that, though.

Ready. Aha.

Real, not paper.

Really great. (WHALES GRUNT AND SING)

Really, I do. I feel quite anxious talking about it.

Right, because I'd say the most alluring thing

Right?

Right? Yeah.

Right.

Right.

Rose, I think I should just move out.

Rushes over to him and says, "Are you hurt?"

Sad, angry, confused, regret I don't mind!

Say 'Josh'. I'm Josh.

Say a kid did it.

Scratch it with a stick so it looks like you fell out of a tree?

Secondly, ah... you're a fun person.

See ya later, sucker.

See, some women can have it all.

See? You still make me laugh.

Seems like quite a big risk, doesn't it, to ask someone to choke you?

Seriously, stop crying.

Seriously? You don't know what PEP is?

Shakes his head at 960 bid.

She could basically be a Buddhist monk

She has fireworks! She has fireworks!

She hasn't spoken to me for days and I didn't do anything at all.

She looks healthy too

She probably shouldn't kiss me like that.

She was just getting really intense and I told her to piss off,

She was such a kind woman that her spirit was glowing with light

She wasn't that fond of you.

She'll still be pretending to be asleep.

She's a hot mess.

She's doing the "going once" thing.

She's doing the "going once" thing.

She's got room in her social calendar for you.

She's just being so mean to me.

Shh. MAN 2: 940.

Shit, I don't know. What's next in store for you?

Shit! Shit!

Shit.

Shit.

Should I go? No! God, no.

Should I just pee on him? I mean, I've already come this far.

Should I leave a message? (BEEP!)

Should we get PEP? Do we have to get PEP?

Shush! Just shut up and listen.

Shut up.

Sir, can I see that finger that I've come to know and love?

Slash, you know, scary to ask you again

Smoked salmon. No point wasting that.

So back when you were five or six, a rainy day,

So either you contribute properly or you be a proper friend.

So furious. You can imagine.

So he goes around once and he waves at Jim...

So how do you know that getting back to your truest version of yourself

So I need you to believe that this morning, she said 'Josh'!

So I went to turn it off,

So I'm playing them whale songs to try and calm them down.

So it was all very sad, and we left the room.

So let's just stop.

So many people just love being peed on.

So not sick. Have you joined AA?

So that the community can come and say goodbye.

So that's that done.

So the first time he flies around, he waves at, um, Jim.

So the game is called 'Let's All Compliment Hannah'.

So we began with a little flour and some butter,

So we didn't have to bother anymore.

So we went quite hard on the murder and the ****

So what do you imagine were the reasons she had

So what does that mean?

So what you need to do is have

So what's happened is you've just found a loophole

So when Josh says to you you're chopping the onion wrong,

So you can stop worrying about that.

So you think you'll stay together?

So your bully in school was a guy who gave you

So, do you still talk to each other?

So, J... No, J...

So, this is my house.

So, um, while we were at dinner,

So, we all compliment Hannah and then Hannah has to give us an insult.

So, what brings you here?

So, what's next in store for you?

So...

Solar hot water system.

Sold! (LAUGHS) 1.5 million?

Sold! Congratulations and well bid.

Some beautiful black fruits

Some really nice things about you

Some star anise and pistachios,

Someone called me fat in Year 3.

Sometimes he messages me that he misses John.

Sometimes he sits in rooms alone without me.

Sometimes he'd turn up at my house unannounced.

Sometimes I get accepted.

Sometimes it's best to know when things are over

Sometimes you turn up and get cranky,

SONG: # Doo wop, doo wop

SONG: # Doo wop, doo wop

SONG: # One, two One, two, three, four

SONG: # One, two One, two, three, four

Sorry

Sorry about your life.

Sorry I'm not a bed expert like you clearly are.

Sorry, I mean, yeah, okay. Yep, you look good.

Sorry, I'm just tired.

Sorry, sorry.

Sorry, Tom, Josh and I were just having a chat about Josh's mum.

Sorry.

Sorry. Hi, Rose.

Sorry. No, I'm sorry.

Sorry. No, yeah, yeah.

Sorry. Sorry. Yeah.

Sounds fun. Maybe I'll join you. Maybe I'll do some boxing.

Stay firm, don't get spooked, don't go above your limit.

Stop talking about me as though I'm not even here!

Sure, of course.

Sure. Is everything okay?

Sure. Let's do this.

Sweet, sweet. Fibroadenoma!

Ta da!

Taking a lovely little boat ride out on the seas and leaving me behind.

Talk to me, Tom. Oh, wait, wait, wait.

Temporary tattoo.

Than the lasagne I made.

Than you'll die in a plane crash.

Thank you!

Thank you.

Thank you. (SQUEALS)

Thank you. Thanks, Tom.

Thank yourself.

Thanks for calling and letting me know. Seriously, okay. Thanks.

Thanks very much.

Thanks, Dad.

That are just aimed at helping Aboriginal communities catch up,

That bipolar's not as genetic as some people think?

That from now on, if my mum dies,

That he didn't see four years ago.

That I thought you were into the doctor.

That I was going to commit suicide.

That if you are a blind person

That is a hose. OK.

That is so creepy. That is actually so creepy.

That is so unbelievable.

That is such a good hiding spot.

That it has a genetic origin,

That make sense?

That makes him think that I think it's fun to hurt people

That makes sense, doesn't it? It's deranged.

That many genuine things about you, I guess,

That says, "That's my good boy."

That she will wear for 40 days and 40 nights,

That should take about 20 minutes

That sounds expensive.

That table came out of nowhere, didn't it?

That there was a prostate cancer joke.

That they're gonna want to choke you.

That they've been putting tropical fruit in the wine?

That was fucking creepy.

That was mean. Yep.

That we've left the light on, and she hates wasting electricity.

That we've left the light on, and she hates wasting electricity.

That when you find someone to move in,

That would have been a hard thing.

That would have been hard, right?

That you just hate me

That you would much prefer it if they were not unsaid

That you'll be there sometimes?

That you're a shit guy.

That you've been ignoring her calls.

That, um... you're shit at sports.

That...

That's a big...that's a very big...

That's a once off, just that one year

That's a separate issue to your mother,

That's a thing you invented in your head and then got sad about.

That's a very specific feeling that I've never felt before.

That's been ageing for 13 months

That's below your reserve. Dad, fine. Please.

That's cool.

That's fine. Thanks.

That's gonna be really shit for a while.

That's good.

That's good. That's clever.

That's great

That's great. Great.

That's how you taste caviar!

That's just not done.

That's just not what I want.

That's just not...that's just not what I want today

That's like North Korea but in a lychee.

That's nice rephrasing for 'lonely'.

That's not a thing, me caring... I wanted you to come, okay?

That's not going to sound patriarchy ish?

That's one fine caravan.

That's quite young. Who do you think you are?

That's ridiculous.

That's the flirtiest comment I've ever heard

That's what I have to do. We are not outsourcing this.

That's what you get for treating us just this nicely.

That's where she put mine, huh? (LAUGHS)

The affairs were the worst part.

The bag.

The bit that was left or the mechanical claw bit?

The choice is yours.

The condom broke.

The good news is, neither of us have HIV.

The last few conversations that we've had, they just..

The loft place. Which one?

The longest bit of the bed. Oh, sorry.

The majority of doctors available at short notice are men.

The Middle East.

The neighbours won't stop screaming at each other,

The one with the kitchen.

The only prerequisite I have for a friend.

The only reason for a loft is to sleep in.

The reason why it's interesting

The scratch will be too fresh to have believably bruised.

The thing is that you're assuming he doesn't like you, you know?

The timber has shrunk a bit.

The, um, policeman asked us if we knew him,

Then as I was heading down the hall I see from her doorway

Then I won't be able to try the stick.

Then of course I will.

Then there's, like, essentially an 80% chance

Then you run the risk of having to bed this bozo. (CHUCKLES)

There are real towels in the bathroom.

There isn't anywhere safer than in a plane.

There just shouldn't be much else in wine

There's definitely... there's just definitely oak.

There's no money in healthy toenails.

There's no right or wrong way to grieve.

There's nothing I can do about it.

There's someone at the door. I don't want to answer it!

They can all go see and I'll stay here with Arnold, in trouble, again.

They didn't like Enya, they don't like whale songs.

They didn't like the Lion King soundtrack,

They don't put fruit into the wine.

They don't put the berries in the wine, Rose.

They kept trying to shut his eyes but they wouldn't close

They put the oak in. That's interesting, isn't it?

They should've filled them in.

They're in their 40s and he's...

They're just words they use to try and describe

They're not good at doing "things".

They've been illegal for eight years.

They've been very good when I'm standing in front of them,

They've got mirrors on every side of the cubicle.

Thing is, once you light them, they require your immediate attention!

This has been such a productive day.

This house is so ugly and he's pretending it isn't.

This is a joke. This...this better not be a joke.

This is exactly what I was talking about before!

This is exciting.

This is gonna cost about 200 bucks a head.

This is me when I have my plastic surgery.

This is the best $900 I have ever spent in my whole life!

This is the stupidest, the stupidest...

This particular flavour profile.

Thought I could sleep under the van.

Three!

Tim is on the ride. Tim is on the ride. OK.

To be that successful and have a meth addiction. Impressive.

To deal with the situation you're in.

To fill the space and make noise.

To move out and leave Josh.

To never have to leave your room.

To see if the toothpaste works

To start experimenting that hard with my sex life.

Today mostly I feel isolated

Tom will give you a hand job, if you like.

Tom, don't sound excited. Sorry, Alan.

Tom, how could you in any way think that's a compliment?

Tom, you absolutely would not like living in a loft.

Tom, you've just broken your favourite lamp.

TOM: (ON PHONE) Something's happening.

TOM: Are you crying again?

TOM: Yep.

TOM: You don't have cancer! Oh, my God!

Tom!

Try and get some perspective.

Trying to massage this relationship, I could have learnt the clarinet

Turns out I am surprisingly easygoing.

Two bucks for guacamole is really a pretty good deal.

Two gay guys, Tim and Jim, go to a fair.

Two weeks, but we can't do sex things.

Ugh, I feel like that's an insult for both of us.

Ugh! I'm sick of Josh's mum.

Uh oh. He's just whispered something to her.

Uh uh, I just want to have a look.

Uh, and... now I guess we'll sing you a song.

Uh, Hannah, I think you are really strong minded and independent.

Uh, have you called an ambulance?

Uh, hi, luvvie. I'm sorry I missed your call before.

Uh, I read an article

Uh, like, three days ago.

Uh, Mum's dead. Yep, I'm sitting with her now and she's dead

Uh, OK.

Uh, sometimes when I think of her,

Uh, we're just on our way camping for Hannah's birthday.

Uh, well, I waited for him to finish smoking his meth and then we had sex,

Uh, wha... Oh, no, Hannah.

Uh, what else? Arnold's here. Just miserable.

Uh, what were we saying about her?

Uh, yeah.

Uh...

Um, are you hungry, Josh?

Um, are you planning on going home

Um, are you sick?

Um, because Mum died

Um, do black beans have carbs, Josh?

Um, is there oak in this?

Um, just, um, thank you for keeping me alive.

Um, no, really, I'm fine.

Um, OK, you know this isn't your fault, yeah?

Um, Rose, Josh was just saying

Um, so this is one of the hardest conversations

Um, someone needs to come get her.

Um, sometimes I think I miss him but then I think

Um, uh, uh, goodbye. See you.

Um, we can sign the lease on Friday.

Um, what I would do first of all is, um, get it taxidermied.

Um...

Um... (SNIFFS)

Um... (SOBS)

Um... get the bag with all my special food in?

Um... income inequality.

Um... Then it's like 16, I think. Is that a lot?

Until, like, 30 years ago.

Urgh!

Vegans but not all the vegans, just quite a lot of them.

Very cool, very chic. I'm stuck being white.

Very funny. (CRUNCHES)

Very modern.

Very smart and does surprisingly romantic things

Very special thing to me.

Wait, I didn't get to tell you about the hot doctor.

Wait, wait, wait. How old is this gay couple?

Was I thinking you were in love with that doctor.

Was it OK? What did he say? Was it bad news?

Was that an option? Why wasn't I told that was an option?

Was that Grace has been watching the iPad a lot lately

Wasn't just young, though, was he?

We absolutely cannot light 8 year old fireworks.

We become viral internet sensations.

We can get a mattress up here. OK!

We can scream now? (WOMEN SCREAM)

We got the place! What place?

We have to talk.

We just can't.

We just looked like the worst people.

We should probably clear out the fridge.

We'd be in your bed eating savoury snacks, okay?

We're arguing about the right way to chop an onion.

We're at 1.3. Can I tell them the house is on the market?

We've been chatting, I invited him out again,

We've been having this same conversation for six months.

Weird to hurt someone as a favour.

Well, all of mine are.

Well, Grace has been watching the iPad a lot.

Well, how much is enough think?

Well, I didn't notice.

Well, I do because I'm the bloody landlord!

Well, I don't really get tested, because I'm always so safe.

Well, I have to pre empt your mistakes

Well, I invest in real estate, but it isn't my job.

Well, I'm absolutely gonna turn into my parents, OK?

Well, I'm happy and OK. You're happy and OK. It's terrifying!

Well, I'm pretty annoyed that Tom's more into the fish and chips

Well, it depends on the app.

Well, it was the only way I could find you.

Well, it's a shit shtick.

Well, it's both true and a joke, isn't it?

Well, it's just never ending. It's just always.

Well, maybe some fish and chips.

Well, no, I don't care.

Well, thanks to the patriarchy,

Well, that's cool, isn't it?

Well, that's poetic.

Well, that's, um... (COUGHS) I don't know about that.

Well, the good news is Josh definitely does like you,

Well, then say that.

Well, Tom, we were waiting for the perfect moment

Well, um, it's free.

Well, we're playing hide and seek, but they take it too seriously!

Well, what did you say? You have to...

Well, what do you think it is? I don't know.

Well, you aren't telling Dad. Absolutely not.

Well, you could've told me to wear a nice shirt.

Well, you know something's not right, ladies and gentlemen,

Well, you never told us. Did he tell you?

Well, you'd better look after him, Jason,

Weren't you, Josh?

What about getting a pimple in your nostril?

What am I going to say?

What are black fruits?

What are you focusing on?

What are you reading about in the newspaper?

What are you talking about?

What are you talking about?

What are you talking about? You go on with this boat thing.

What can I possibly say now

What can I... what can I do to help?

What choice do I have?

What did she like? Not much.

What did you call him? Just Nick?

What did you do?

What do you actually do?

What do you mean you don't know?

What do you mean, "It doesn't matter"?

What do you mean, no?

What do you mean? I took her to a 15 course meal.

What do you mean? Like, what's next?

What do you think?

What do you want to say?

What do you want? I just want you to hold me.

What does it feel like?

What else is happening?

What good is being the winner if...

What have you got to say about that?

What I would like is for my body to be laid out on a platform

What if they need our help?

What if they've been stung by a jellyfish

What is happening, Tom? Why are you being mysterious?

What is it, Josh?

What is PEP?

What the fuck is wrong with you?

What the hell are you doing?

What the hell's that supposed to mean?

What triggered the crying this time? The water?

What you hear is, "You're not the boyfriend I want,"

What?

What?

What?

What?

What?

What? No, no, no, no, no.

What? No. No, I just...

What? Oh, I'm sorry. I'm not hungry.

What? That is just the stupid...

What? What's going on?

What? Yeah. I am desperate for you not to have cancer.

What's all this, then?

What's happening in that bottle.

What's the Arnold status?

What's this?

What's uuuup?

What's with the whale songs?

What's your plan? I'm meant to have a plan?

When a man of my age is looking forward to a finger.

When are you back so we can do sex things?

When he was a teenager.

When I die, I want to have the saddest funeral.

When I make your little packed lunch and put a little secret note

When people tell me they like cats, you know?

When really all he's saying is, "You're chopping the onion wrong."

When was the last time you saw your mum?

When we met, you were the winner.

When we're doing our little sexy role play

When you're all up in my grill with your D?

When?

Where am I meeting people? There's no people.

Where is he? What's he doing?

Where to?

Where we find out how Charlize Theron lost her arm.

Where would you go?

Which boy I'm talking about?

Which... I would've thought that I wouldn't have had sex with someone

While Ella was in the room

While you were in the bathroom.

Who do you think will be moving in?

Who gave you a hickey? And why do you have a scratch on your neck?

Whoa ah! Yep.

Whoa ah. Yeah.

Whoa!

Whoa! Whoa.

Whoa.

Whoo! (MAE LAUGHS)

Why are you so desperate to have been bullied?

Why aren't you talking?

Why can't I ever notice things?

Why can't you ever take my side?

Why did no one get out?

Why did you put her in a cookie jar for?

Why did you tell me to talk to her?

Why didn't you say anything?

Why do you always have to pre empt my mistakes?

Why do you think I don't know all this, okay? I know, yeah?

Why he doesn't need to feel sad

Why I might get back in contact with you?

Why is Tom still talking to the real estate agent?

Why isn't he answering his phone?

Why it can be so expensive, 'cause you can never replicate

Why not? Why can't we do sex things?

Why wasn't the other one... Why didn't he go on the ride?

Why would she say that? I've been fine.

Why would you 'un alone' me by surprise

Why would you bring that up?

Why would you do that?

Why, what's going on in your little head, little matey?

Why?

Why? Just give me Tom.

Why? You used to internet date. What's the difference?

Will be easier to live with than me.

Will you pee on him?

Winner, winner, chicken dinner.

With a housewarming gift.

With gorgeous flavours of lavender and cherry blossom.

With our dear friend Joshua tonight?

With what he thought was logic and reason.

Would always taste different, right?

Would you like me to organise the bill?

Would you like to see inside the palace?

Wow, I'm cured.

Y...

Yeah

Yeah

Yeah, 'cause if you hurt him, then you'll have to deal with us.

Yeah, all the food for your special diet.

Yeah, and that's his whole shtick.

Yeah, bit of a problem there. I did not pack a tent.

Yeah, death is really bad. It's just...

Yeah, everyone like cookie.

Yeah, he can't play willy nilly because he's not Willy Wonka, yes.

Yeah, I feel like maybe you don't know that,

Yeah, I had fun anyway.

Yeah, I know. Listen. Yeah.

Yeah, I really feel like I'm finally catching up with the Kardashians.

Yeah, I thought about that, but then what if we get naked?

Yeah, I thought, "Do you know what would be less predictable

Yeah, I vote yes.

Yeah, I'm gonna go to bed.

Yeah, it is. It is a bit strange, isn't it?

Yeah, it was, um... it was pretty bad.

Yeah, it's just, like, fibrous tissue.

Yeah, Joshua!

Yeah, no idea. I regret saying that.

Yeah, no, I know. Yeah, it's nice.

Yeah, no, I'm sorry. I just...

Yeah, of course not.

Yeah, okay, I'm buying you and Mum a nice dinner, okay?

Yeah, that's Mum's ashes.

Yeah, that's what I read

Yeah, this boy doesn't exist.

Yeah, we should absolutely stop this while we're ahead

Yeah, we've been texting.

Yeah, well, so I've got good news and bad news.

Yeah, why would you let me do that?

Yeah, yeah. You really commit. Yep. Mmm.

Yeah, you can't beat Hitler.

Yeah, you do. Remember, old habits?

Yeah, you never wanted to live together.

Yeah, you've been a little silly.

Yeah? (LAUGHS) OK.

Yeah? Can we promise each other that?

Yeah? I've got a joke for you.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah. (CHUCKLES)

Yeah. A girlfriend.

Yeah. I just have a little bit.

Yeah. It was brutal.

Yeah. Look what he did to me.

Yeah. Oh, OK.

Yeah. See? He's not fine.

Yeah. Well, we didn't end well.

Yeah. Yeah, I mean, it's just a little scary, isn't it?

Yeah. Yeah, OK, I get it.

Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. You know, uh... I just can't handle the guilt.

Yep, yeah, very healthy.

Yep.

Yep.

Yep.

Yep. He's a podiatrist and he had a terrarium

Yep. I know. I guarantee you I know all about this.

Yep. I'm a real shit guy.

Yep. Yeah, it's a pleasure to see you too.

Yep. Yeah, we've all seen the emu impression, haven't we?

Yes

Yes, it's just that Tom's still in it.

Yes, Jim gets motion sickness, Tim is on the ride.

Yes, OK, so Tim... No, Jim...

Yes, Thomas?

Yes!

Yes! Correct.

Yes! Dad, I know all this.

Yes! I will go first.

Yes! That was great!

Yes?

Yes? Can you talk to your dad?

Yes? Is this a trick?

Yes.

Yes.

Yes.

Yes.

You alright? Yeah, I'm good.

You always think you're seeing Geoffrey, but you're not.

You and Mum loved each other and then she died.

You are incapable of being happy!

You are lying, Joshua.

You are never going to be happy, Josh.

You aren't on a date.

You being here doesn't make any sense.

You can do anything you like with my body. Whatever you want.

You can do whatever you want today. It's not...

You can get a miniature guide horse.

You can get a miniature prostitute to guide you around.

You can go too, Josh.

You can sleep with us, Hannah.

You can't fight me. Obviously you're stronger than me.

You can't play with people willy nilly

You could just try it.

You could just wear a scarf.

You could materialise a tent?

You did bring a big bag of old fireworks, though.

You didn't edit that, did you?

You didn't tell me what you wanted the entire move.

You didn't want to look at houses, you wanted to stay with Josh.

You don't care.

You don't get to diet this evening.

You don't have to be rude. I'm just asking you a question.

You don't have to do this.

You don't know that.

You don't want to even know what she's capable of, Jase.

You get him that water, understood?

You give me your laundry, OK?

You had those full body bathers.

You had to do this here?

You have a lot of big books, you must be pretty smart.

You have to be mindful. Just slow... Stop it!

You just...you sort of have to be there.

You keep going on about this, I'm not going to have sex with you.

You know what I mean?

You know what's happening here, don't you?

You know, go out on a limb and say something from the heart.

You know, he would be furious to see me here on a date with you.

You know, how did I assume... Don't, Hannah

You know, how do you put that across in a photo?

You know, I don't want to underthink.

You know, on Tinder, you get a selection of people's photos.

You know, sorry, but they do. They just stop.

You know, when you said that you were living in a caravan,

You know?

You know?

You know? And that's gonna be bad for a while.

You know...I kind of thought you were joking.

You learn to focus on the people that like you,

You like to leave me. Hannah, you're overthinking this.

You liked boxing yesterday. You should have been here then.

You look like my dad. (CHUCKLES)

You look lovely. Very expensive.

You look really good. Thank you.

You look scared.

You must be clever, don't you think?

You need to start paying rent.

You saw me in school musicals.

You see, because, like, everyone else is going to see

You should be able to smell oak in there too.

You shower out here? No, I shower at the gym

You sound so exhilarated. I think you liked it.

You staying up to watch the tennis tonight?

You think that's insight 'cause I mentioned my parents,

You wanna throw me away?

You want me to convince Dad to be sad?

You want some dinner? Yes, please.

You want that milk? There's still a few days left.

You wanted me to talk more! Yeah.

You were Charlize Theron's arm to me, Hannah.

You were in the war?

You were just a regular Scout, just a junk Scout, like a peasant.

You were worried about Mum, I was worried about Mum,

You were... Who bullied you?

You would've been on her side. Maybe come back tomorrow?

You'd better bloody get onto it.

You'd better come out now.

You'll never buy real estate shaking your head that way.

You're a good kisser.

You're a great person, Josh.

You're Aboriginal, yeah?

You're always getting annoyed at me

You're always trying to start a fight.

You're being very rude, young lady!

You're gonna be a million dollar baby.

You're gonna break up with me because I have cancer.

You're gonna get naked with Arnold?

You're gonna have in your life.

You're gonna make me come.

You're just looking at me like I'm in love with him.

You're just thinking about other things.

You're just trying to get rid of me.

You're looking very slim, Rose.

You're making me anxious.

You're not dying! Josh, feel it!

You're not on social media. You almost don't exist.

You're not Willy Wonka, Arnold!

You're only allowed to insult Arnold.

You're really not that powerful, Tom.

You're really not very good at being dominant, are you?

You're running away from home?

You're spending the money wisely.

You're talking to

You're the best you're the best guy.

You've been on my mind a lot lately, Hannah.

You've given it adequate think.

You've just started going 'ugh' at the end of my sentences.

Your mum just ran away from home, Josh.

Your mum set you up on the kitchen bench

Your mum's here and she is very upset

Your mum's house is sold, mate. Congratulations.

Your poor dad would just trip in one of the holes.

Your whole job is to tell me what's happening.

Your... Just your forehead.

1 million clean to you.

1 million.

1.4 now. At 1.4, I have...

1.5, they're selling.

10.

12.

100% you said you get seasick.

980. At 980, madam.

'Bye. See ya.

"Fucking mu..." "Fucking mutton birds!"

(ALAN CHUCKLES) (JOSH) So...

(ALAN LAUGHS) Josh wasn't the worst part.

(ALAN) Hello. (WOMAN) Hello.

(BEEP!) Hi, Ma!

(BOTH) It's honeydew

(BURPS) Oh! Sorry. (LAUGHS)

(CHUCKLES) (ROSE) Alan... (LAUGHS)

(CHUCKLES) What? What is it?

(CUCKOO CLOCK CHIMES) Guys!

(ELLA BURPS) (TOM) Did you just burp?

(ELLA LAUGHS) (ARNOLD) Fuck!

(ELLA) Silly string fight! (OTHERS SHOUT)

(GASPS) He is Willy Wonka! (LAUGHS) Yeah.

(GRINDR ALERT) He's 18.

(GRINDR ALERT) Oh, God.

(GRINDR NOTIFICATION) That's him.

(JOSH LAUGHS) That is such a good insult

(JOSH) Great. (ROSE CONTINUES LAUGHING)

(JOSH) Him? The body.

(JOSH) No, she's not. (ALAN) I'm sorry?

(JOSH) Tom. What are you doing?

(JOSH) You seem upset. You seem observant.

(LAUGHS) Brilliant. Funny.

(LAUGHS) I just had to make sure.

(LAUGHS) I'm working on something here.

(LAUGHS) Is this an intervention?

(LAUGHS) Ohh!

(LAUGHS) What a creep.

(LAUGHS) What's wrong?

(LAUGHS) It's not. That is bloody serious, Josh.

(LAUGHS) Yeah? We're single? Yeah, single, ready to mingle.

(MOBILE PHONE RINGS) I'm sorry.

(OTHERS CHUCKLE) Yep.

(ROSE AND JOSH LAUGH) It wasn't funny.

(ROSE) I am. Why are you saying this?

(ROSE) No! All right, okay.

(ROSE) Thank you, Dan. Thanks, Dan.

(ROSE) What? No, it's fine. I don't...

(ROSE) Yes, I am. You are not.

(S******S) (ALAN) And this?

(SQUEAKS) Ahhhhh!

(SQUEALS) You said I should!

(TAPPING ON DOOR, DOG BARKS) Oh, my God.

(TOM) Well, that's our night ruined. Ooh, I wanna go see.

(WOMAN) Our puffed pig's ear. (ALAN) Ohh.

* Ooh * * I left better behind *

* Ooh * * Oh, the good Lord knows it *

* Ooh * * Oh, the good Lord knows it *

* Ooh * * Okay *

* Yeah, I'll be fine, yeah, yeah * * Ooh *

♪ Ooh ♪ ♪ I left better behind ♪

♪ Ooh ♪ ♪ I left better behind ♪

♪ Ooh ♪ ♪ Oh, the good Lord knows it ♪

♪ Ooh ♪ ♪ Oh, the good Lord knows it ♪

♪ Ooh ♪ ♪ Okay ♪

♪ Ooh ♪ ♪ Okay ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh ♪ ♪ Oh, the good Lord knows it ♪

♪ Oooh, ooh ooh ♪ ♪ Oh, the good Lord knows it ♪

♪ That I'm ♪ ♪ Still holdin' onto something ♪

♪ Yeah, I'll be fine, yeah, yeah ♪ ♪ Ooh ♪

♪ Yeah! ♪ ♪ And if you think ♪

♪ You think ♪ ♪ That I'm ♪

$900? What?!

$900? Yeah.

A little blend of Riesling... Thanks, Dan.

And I just... Yes, I know!

And let's move on. All right.

and the oppression thing, didn't we? Yep.

Are they? No, they're not.

Ask him. Yeah.

Bit of stainless steel. All right, all right.

Book two. You can't book two Ubers.

But not a tent. No tent, just fireworks.

But then he smoked meth. Oh, that's not good, Josh

Bye. Okay, bye. Can you please pull over?

Call me tomorrow. (ALAN) won't book me a car?

Can I take your coat? (ROSE) Oh! Yes.

Cate Blanchett. Yes!

Cheers. Here we go. Cheers.

Come on. No, please just give it to me.

Dad, you're staying together. No, don't say that, Joshua.

Dan? Oh, God.

Did you or not? No. Of course I didn't!

does lots of nice compliments... Oh, yeah?

Doing the opposite. Yep! Yep, the opposite.

Eye contact. Eye contact! Okay. (CHUCKLES)

Get lost! Leave me alone! All right, I'm sorry.

Get out of there. Okay.

Good. Great.

Happy birthday! Sorry I'm late.

He cured me, Bastion. Yeah.

He didn't ask what we wanted. It's a set menu.

Hello, Hannah. (LAUGHS)

Hey, Ma. Hi. Hello!

Hey? That could be cute. I know how to do a face swap.

Hi, Rose. Oh, where's Josh?

Hitler! Whoa, and we're done.

Honestly, go on! I don't need to go!

How are you, Rose? Oh, yes, good. (CHUCKLES)

How is it? Oh, yeah.

How is she? Mmm. She's getting bees.

How long have you had those? Oh, not long.

How? Always calling me stupid names.

How? I'll put it on my credit card.

I do not get seasick. 100%!

I don't call my dad enough. (LAUGHS)

I don't have any room left. No, me neither.

I feel quite silly. Yep.

I get points. Do you?

I had a feeling. I didn't need to tell you.

I hate this game. Thomas, your turn.

I just saw Arnold pack his guitar. Oh, no.

I know, Dad. (ALAN) Girls are neat.

I met a podiatrist. Mmm! There you go.

I thought I said to bring a tent. Oh, you definitely did.

I used to be a Scout, remember? You know, I did Scouts for a bit.

I want to go back to the camp site. Why?

I was hoping you wouldn't do that. Yeah.

I would never, I promise. Oh, thank you. I appreciate that.

I would quite like to go see. You don't need to go and see, Josh.

I'll edit it. No, I don't...

I'll send a picture message. Oh, thanks, Mum.

I'm going back to the tent. What? What?

I'm gonna come. Yeah?

I'm Josh's mum. Perfect.

I'm not miserable. Just miserable.

I'm not sure about it. Mm hm.

I'm still in love with him. Actually you're not.

I'm still in love with your dad. No, you're not.

I've set it up before. Yeah.

Is it there? Yep.

Is that a no? Abso... No. No oak in this one.

Isn't that right, Hannah? Mm, fun.

It is not the boat! Yes, it is!

It's become habit. I'm so sorry.

It's good. Yeah, it's good.

It's good. Mmm. (ROSE) Yeah. Yeah?

It's not funny. (LAUGHS) Yeah.

Jesus fucking Christ. Ooh.

Josh, are you meeting any new men? Oh, you'll like this.

Josh. Oh. Hey, Dad.

Just get a taxi. (HANNAH) Nuh, get stuffed.

Just trying to live. Mm hm.

Like in that movie? Maybe someone drowned.

Like, $150. $150?

Look at this gorgeous plating! There is literally 15 dishes coming.

Looks good, better. (LAUGHS)

Mae bullies me. (MUMBLES) No, she doesn't.

Man's gotta eat! Yeah, okay.

Many times. (GRINDR NOTIFICATION ALERT)

Mmm! (ALL CRUNCH NUTS)

Mmm! Mmm!

Mmm! Aged beef is good. Oh, that's not the same thing.

Mmm. Like, you're a sweet guy, Josh.

Mmmm... Yeah. Mmm mmm mmm mmm mmm mmm mmm.

Mole on lip. Tom, don't.

Murder. And speed cameras.

Nectarine? Nala? No.

No, I did not. Mm, good.

No, I don't smell any oak. There's no oak.

No, you weren't

No. You don't like the tennis?

No..

No... no. Josh, you're being silly.

Not this again. Not in a mean way.

Nuh. Yeah, goes right over my head.

Oh, did he say why? He said something came up.

Oh, fuck off! Leave me alone! All right!

Oh, God, no. Ah, no, thank you, Ellie.

Oh, he's doing it now. (ROSE LAUGHS) Oh, no.

Oh, hello. Okay?

Oh, I can smell the berries! (JOSH) Yeah?

Oh, it does sound convenient. (ALAN) Yeah.

Oh, Josh! Josh!

Oh, like a wind chime? Yeah.

Oh, Mae's not a bully. Okay, she's not.

Oh, no, what's wrong? (SOBS)

Oh, shit, I really stuffed up. What do you mean?

Oh, yeah. (ALAN) Thank you.

Oh! It's a smelly one! (LAUGHS)

Ohh! (BOTH LAUGH)

Ohh. (CHUCKLES) Uh?

Okay, I'm ready. I'm already filming.

Okay. (STRUMS GUITAR)

Okay. Okay.

Ooh! (ALAN) Ha ha.

Oooh! Are you dating already?

Peaches? Peaches?

Please just let me have it. (GASPS)

Really? Mmm.

Really? Yeah.

See ya, little munchkin. Oh, piss off!

She can't afford this. Ohh! (LAUGHS)

She's a little munchkin. Piss off!

Sorry, Dan. (ALAN) Sorry, Dan.

Sorry. Fuck you!

Sorry. Tasty.

Thank heavens. A lucky boy.

Thank you, Dan. Zero oak.

Thank you! Josh, I'm on a diet.

Thank you. Ohh.

Thank you. Sex things.

Thanks, Dad. Josh.

Thanks, Dan. Thank you.

Thanks, Mum. (CHUCKLES)

That doesn't sound like Josh. (LAUGHS)

The accordion. The... Yep. All right.

The performing arts prefect. Mm hm.

The purple hair. The cheerleading. Okay.

This is Josh's heart! Mm hm!

Tom likes being bullied. No, I don't!

Tom, can we braid your hair? Yeah.

Tom? (LAUGHS SARCASTICALLY)

Ugh! 'Ugh'? Why 'ugh'?

Um, no, can we start again, Josh? Nah.

Um... Roughly?

Umm... Oh, Josh, um...

We just definitely can't

Well, what were we supposed to do? Anything.

Were we? Were you? Oh, yeah.

What are these? (JOSH) It's fish eggs.

What are you doing? I'm just...

What are you doing? No, I'm paying.

What did he call you? Peaches.

What happens if you get to five? Two!

What was your plan? I'm still working on it.

What? Are you married?

What? Nothing, Tom.

What? Well, I'm stuck, aren't I?

When did you realise this? When we got here.

When you're ready. Whoa, Dad.

White people are the worst. Some of my best friends are white.

Why would you do that? Are you paying attention?!

Wow. Wow. Ohh!

Yeah, Arnold is quite good. Yep. Yeah.

Yeah, I can. Mmm.

Yeah, I'm gonna take a look. No!

Yeah, I'm into it. 'Cause it tastes like pussy?

Yeah, it was. Yes, it was.

Yeah, thank you. (DRUMS ON TABLETOP)

Yeah, yeah, she seems good. Yeah.

Yeah, yeah. Yes, you're staying together.

Yeah! Google says to use toothpaste.

Yeah? Yeah, I'll do it. Okay.

Yeah. (HANNAH) I'm using them all!

Yeah. (TOM) Hey, Ella?

Yeah. No. No, sorry.

Yeah. Not Big Boy? Sugar Lips?

Yeah. Yeah, okay, now we're both smart.

Yes, I am. Are not.

Yes, we can. They might explode.

You are not. I am! (LAUGHS) I'm very stuck.

You can't afford that. Yes, I can.

You okay? Yeah.

You should see the toilets. No, I don't need to.

You weren't patrol leader, though. No.

You're very independent. Like a Destiny's Child.

...

.."Hey, have a good day at school."

..I just wish there was someone else that cared about her

..Mum killed herself.

..that she was just being mean for the fun of it?

..that was just the most difficult thing I've ever done

..they seem like she was trying to say goodbye.

..this winnerly, if it wasn't for you.

..Tim is on the ride.

'Bye

'Bye. OK. 'Bye, Josh.

'cause he's a very fragile boy.

'Cause what it is, right, is my mum but burned into a pile

"F..." (LAUGHS)

"I support your decisions."

"I went around three times and you didn't wave back once.

"Of course I'm hurt!" (BOTH LAUGH)

"Should've been in the brochure."

"Someone should fill in those bloody holes!"

"than doing the thing I said I would do?"

"your clothes will be completely ruined."

('LAND OF 1,000 DANCES' BY WILSON PICKETT PLAYS)

('LOVE YOURSELF' BY JUSTIN BIEBER PLAYS ON CAR STEREO)

(ALAN CHUCKLES)

(ALAN) Oh, boy, oh, boy, I've... I've had too much to drink.

(ALAN) Yeah?

(ARNOLD GRUNTS)

(ARNOLD MOANS)

(ARNOLD) Hey, guys, um, I brought my guitar

(ARNOLD) No. No, no, no.

(ARNOLD) Um, babe, I think...

(BEEP!)

(BIRDSONG)

(BLOWS NOSE)

(BOTH LAUGH)

(BOTH LAUGH)

(BOTH SING) * For all the times that you made me feel small *

(BOTH WEEP)

(BOTH WEEP)

(CHAOTIC MUSIC)

(CHOKINGLY) I'm very proud of you.

(CHOKINGLY) You are a very special young man.

(CHUCKLES)

(CHUCKLES)

(CHUCKLES)

(CHUCKLES)

(CHUCKLES)

(CHUCKLES)

(CHUCKLES) Are you happy?

(CHUCKLES) Good.

(CHUCKLES) I'm really not.

(CHUCKLES) No, they don't...

(CHUCKLES) No!

(CHUCKLES) Oh, wow!

(CHUCKLES) Right.

(CHUCKLES) Yeah. OK.

(CHUCKLES) Yes.

(CHUCKLES) Yes.

(CLEARS THROAT AND SIGHS)

(CLEARS THROAT) Next time, get her to talk to me.

(CLOCK CHIMES AND CUCKOOS)

(CONTINUES CRYING)

(CONTINUES SOBBING LOUDLY)

(CRIES SOFTLY)

(CRIES)

(CRIES) Oh.

(CRUNCH!)

(DAN) and a touch of skin contact Semillon.

(DAN) Next, we have a little Syrah from McLaren Vale.

(DAN) These nests are your golden eggs.

(DOOR OPENS AND CLOSES)

(DOOR OPENS)

(DOOR SLAMS)

(ELLA) Look what we did to the van! Oh.

(ELLA) So brave.

(FIREWORK BANGS)

(FOOTSTEPS APPROACH)

(GASPS) I know I'm the worst friend!

(GENTLE MUSIC)

(GENTLE PIANO MUSIC)

(GLUM MUSIC)

(GRINDR ALERT)

(GRINDR NOTIFICATION ALERT)

(HANNAH SOBS)

(HANNAH) I just don't understand why you'd think

(HANNAH) Oh, I don't like this game.

(HANNAH) Uber is not my fault!

(HEADBOARD BANGS)

(INDISTINCT P.A. ANNOUNCEMENT)

(JOSH GROANS)

(JOSH MOANS SOFTLY)

(JOSH SCATS SOFTLY)

(JOSH) I have this memory of just loving him

(JOSH) Maybe we should call my mum.

(JOSH) Maybe you told me when I was 13

(JOSH) No, okay, so what it is, right,

(JOSH) Oh, God.

(JOSH) Ooh ah.

(JOSH) You're doing so good, Arnold.

(LAID BACK MUSIC)

(LAUGHS UNCERTAINLY)

(LAUGHS)

(LAUGHS)

(LAUGHS)

(LAUGHS)

(LAUGHS)

(LAUGHS)

(LAUGHS)

(LAUGHS)

(LAUGHS)

(LAUGHS)

(LAUGHS)

(LAUGHS)

(LAUGHS)

(LAUGHS) Fresh bidder, sir.

(LAUGHS) Great.

(LAUGHS) He's funny.

(LAUGHS) I don't know what they want.

(LAUGHS) I don't know.

(LAUGHS) No, you're not.

(LAUGHS) That's a shame.

(LAUGHS) They... they should have warned us in the brochure.

(LAUGHS) Yeah, I fixed it.

(LAUGHS) Your dad...

(LESLEY GORE SINGS) # Sunshine, lollipops and rainbows

(MAN AND WOMAN ARGUE LOUDLY)

(MAN) Hey. Hey!

(MAN) I'm sorry to interrupt.

(MAN) Last time I tried to fly it was so embarrassing

(MAN) Okay.

(MELANCHOLY MUSIC CONTINUES)

(MELANCHOLY MUSIC)

(MOBILE PHONE RINGS)

(MUM) Hannah, could you come in here?

(MUM) She's just showing off.

(NEIGHBOURS CONTINUE ARGUING)

(NEIGHBOURS' MUFFLED ARGUING CONTINUES)

(OBJECT CLANGS)

(OPERATIC SINGING)

(OTHERS LAUGH)

(OTHERS LAUGH)

(OTHERS SING) * Everybody's looking forward to the weekend *

(PEOPLE CHATTER)

(PHONE APP DINGS)

(PHONE RINGS)

(PHONE RINGS)

(PHONE RINGS)

(PHONE RINGS)

(PHONE RINGS)

(PHONE RINGS)

(PHONE RINGS)

(PLAYFUL MUSIC)

(QUIRKY MUSIC)

(QUIRKY PIANO MUSIC)

(REBECCA BLACK SINGS) * Gotta get down on Friday *

(RECORDED MESSAGE) This is Rose. I can't come to the phone right now.

(REGISTER BEEPS)

(ROSE LAUGHS)

(ROSE) It must be very vulnerable

(ROSE) Oh, this is wild! Ohh!

(ROSE) Oh, yum!

(SCATS) # Boo boo bop bop be doo bop be doodle

(SCOFFS) What? What?

(SCREAMS) Good result. Good result.

(SCREAMS) We got it! Yes! Yay!

(SIGHS HEAVILY) Oh, um..

(SIGHS)

(SIGHS)

(SIGHS)

(SIGHS)

(SIGHS)

(SIGHS)

(SIGHS)

(SIGHS) I wish Mae would talk to me about this stuff instead.

(SIGHS) Just give me a minute.

(SINGS ALONG) # And I feel so fine

(SINGSONGS) Grace, who is this?

(SNIFFLES)

(SNIFFLES)

(SNIFFLING)

(SNIFFS)

(SNIFFS)

(SNIFFS)

(SNIFFS)

(SNIFFS)

(SNIFFS) Yeah.

(SNORTS)

(SOBS LOUDLY)

(SOBS LOUDLY) ..sad thing

(SOBS QUIETLY)

(SOBS)

(SOBS)

(SOBS)

(SOBS)

(SOBS) So, yes, thank you for acknowledging that.

(SOBS) Why here?

(SOFTLY) Hi.

(SOFTLY) Yeah.

(SOULFUL SCAT SINGING)

(TAPPING CONTINUES, DOG BARKS)

(TEARFULLY) I just don't want to.

(THUNDER RUMBLES, RAIN PATTERS)

(THUNDER RUMBLES)

(TOM AND ELLA LAUGH)

(TOM) I win!

(TOM) Oh, my God!

(TOY SQUEAKS) Bye bye.

(TURNS UP VOLUME)

(TURNS UP VOLUME) # When we're together

(TUTS)

(VOICE MAIL) Hi. I'm Josh. I'm not here.

(WEEPS) Fuck

(WHALE SONG PLAYS)

(WHIMPERS)

(WHISPERS) Thank you.

(WISTFUL MUSIC)

(WOMAN) Porridge of sunflower seeds and winter walnuts

(ZIPS UP PANTS)

# Alright!

# Ba da da bup bow! #

# Ba do ba ba de ba di ba ba da ba boo bah

# Be da ba be do ba... # Ah! Ah!

# Be do dah bup bup be do dah

# Be dooby do da... # Ah!

# Be dooby doo ba ba da ba ba

# Be dooby doo ba ba da ba roo

# Be dooby dooby doo ba ba da ba roo

# Be dooby dooby dooby dooby do ba ba

# Be dooby dooby dooby dooby do ba ba ba

# Brighter than a lucky penny

# Chitty bang bang Chitty bang bang

# Chitty bang bang Chitty bang bang

# Chitty bang bang Chitty bang bang... #

# Chitty bang bang, yeah

# Do the alligator

# Do the Watusi

# Doo wop

# Doo wop

# Doo wop, doo wop

# Doo wop, doo wop

# Doo wop, doo wop Doo wop, doo wop

# Doo wop, doo wop Doo wop, doo wop... #

# Doo wop, doo wop... #

# Doo wop... #

# Everything that's wonderful is what I feel... #

# Got to know how to pony

# I left better behind I'll be fine. #

# I left better behind I'll be fine... #

# I'll be # Fine

# I'll be fine, yeah, yeah

# Just to know that you are mine Ba ba da bow. #

# Let your backbone slip

# Like Bony Maronie

# Like my little Lucy

# Make my mamma turn another blind eye

# Make my mamma turn another blind eye

# Mash potato

# Na na na na

# Na na na na na, na na na na, na na na, na na na

# Na na na na na, na na na na, na na na, na na na

# Na na na na... #

# One, two, three

# Ooh

# Ooh

# Ooh # I left better behind

# Ooh # I left better behind

# Ooh # OK

# Ooh # OK, yeah

# Ooh, ooh # Oh, the good Lord knows it

# Ooh, ooh # Oh, the good Lord knows it

# Ooh, ooh ooh # Oh, the good Lord knows it

# Oooh, ooh ooh # Oh, the good Lord knows it

# Oww!

# Oww! Ugh!

# Potato, po taht a, do dah, po taht a

# Put your hands on your hips, yeah

# Uhh!

# Uhh!

# Uhh!

# When you're near, that rain cloud just disappears

# Wow!

# Wow!

# Yeah, I'll be fine, yeah, yeah # Ooh

# Yeah, I'll be fine, yeah, yeah # Ooh

# Yeah, yeah

# Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

# Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

# You know I feel alright... #

♪ 'Cause if you like the way you look that much ♪

♪ A vision of ecstasy ♪

♪ And if you like the way you look that much ♪

♪ And never felt so low when I was vulnerable ♪

♪ At first I felt the energy of sun rays ♪

♪ Doo wah, doo wah ♪

♪ Doo wah, doo wah... ♪

♪ Everybody's looking forward to the weekend ♪

♪ Everybody's looking forward to the weekend, weekend ♪

♪ Find light in the beautiful sea ♪

♪ Friday, Friday ♪

♪ Friday, Friday ♪

♪ Fun, fun, fun, fun ♪

♪ Gotta get down on Friday ♪

♪ I choose to be happy ♪

♪ I fell in love, now I feel nothing at all... ♪

♪ I left better behind I'll be fine... ♪

♪ I left better behind I'll be fine... ♪

♪ I'll be fine ♪

♪ I'll be fine, yeah, yeah ♪

♪ I'll be fine, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪

♪ I'll be fine, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪

♪ Light inside your heart ♪

♪ Looking forward to the weekend ♪

♪ Make my mamma turn another blind eye ♪

♪ Make my mamma turn another blind eye ♪

♪ Make my mamma turn another blind eye ♪

♪ Oh, baby, you should go and love yourself ♪

♪ Oh, baby, you should go and love yourself ♪

♪ One, two One, two, three, four ♪

♪ One, two. One, two, three, four ♪

♪ One, two. One, two, three, four ♪

♪ Ooh ♪

♪ Ooh ♪

♪ Ooh ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh... ♪

♪ Partyin', partyin', yeah! ♪

♪ Partyin', partyin', yeah! ♪

♪ Right away ♪

♪ Shine bright like a diamond ♪

♪ Shine bright like a diamond ♪

♪ Wah, wah, wah. Wah, wah, wah ♪

♪ Was I a fool to let you break down my walls? ♪

♪ We're like diamonds in the sky ♪

♪ We're like diamonds in the sky ♪

♪ When you hold me I'm alive ♪

♪ Yeah, I'll be fine, yeah, yeah ♪

♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪

♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪

♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah... ♪

♪ You and I... you and I ♪

♪ You should go and love yourself ♪

♪ You should go and love yourself ♪

♪ You're a shooting star I see ♪

♪ And if you think that I'm still holdin' onto something ♪

♪ I know that we become one ♪

♪ It's Friday, Friday, gotta get down on Friday ♪

♪ One right away ♪

15 tiny little meals for dinner. Mm hm.