Please Like Me - Season 2 Edit

A big deal?

A coffee cart. I'm gonna lease it to you,

A day full of happy memories and fantastic tea.

A good guy and a good bloke.

A little bit weird in there, that beer pong.

A menace to a poor mentally ill boy.

A prostitute last night.

A refreshing change from the impossible standards

A special velvet box, just waiting for when you

Aaahhhhh.

About everybody.

About half.

About to have parmigiana.

About what?

About why you made that choice.

Actually qualifies you for.

Actually, Rose, we were just leaving.

Actually, that's a good point.

Actually, that's pretty clever.

After Ginger killed herself,

After Peg died, I started feeling that way

Again!

Ah, Josh.

Ah, you talk about hip hop music.

Ahh, nonsense.

Ahh, this is so sweet, but...

Ahh.

Ahh.

Ahh...

Alan, can you get the bath ready?

All hanging out.

All he ever wanted to do was eat celery and bird seed.

All of them, any of them, you know.

All of them? You had a busy day.

All of Tom's dreams are coming true.

All over your Facebook?

All right then, let's get you settled in.

All right then.

All right, all right.

All right, all right.

All right, all right. We're gonna need some water.

All right, come on, let's do this.

All right, do you want to know why I'm calling

All right, fine, I'll get another bag then.

All right, fine. Maybe I don't have any friends yet.

All right, guys. We're about halfway there,

All right, I will take it off.

All right, I'll quit my job then.

All right, Joshy.

All right, just shut up and get in the car.

All right, okay. The snake's scared.

All right, so you're right.

All right, this has to happen.

All right, well, where is she?

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right... just in front of it.

All the people you don't have in your life.

All the quiet space, okay?

All these chats where you told me

All your weird secret, secret weird things?

Already?

Alright, here we go. Are you ready?

Alright, no, it's alright. It's alright.

Alright, well, let's not go to the waterfall.

Also exotic fruit.

Also I don't understand, like,

Although he does seem like the kind of guy

Although I have to say I do think it would be quite odd

Although, I really can't see where else it could be.

Always Beyoncé.

Always played along with it until one day

Always so deep. So troubled.

Always time for Arnie!

Always wear loafers.

Always. Always grumpy.

Am I being helpful?

Am not.

And a message inviting me over

And also, I just, at the time, I didn't want to be gay

And because they're scared they consume stuff.

And besides, I wasn't trying to kill myself.

And everyone always talks about size.

And everyone was crying and I knew it was sad,

And get better.

And he blames Oprah for that.

And he just needs you to know, by the way.

And his name was Gavin.

And Hong Kong and Taiwan

And I can touch her hair and stuff.

And I could not stop my brain from thinking about,

And I didn't know how to tell them,

And I do have opinions, by the way.

And I don't understand it enough to explain it to her.

And I forgot about the beetroot.

And I got pretty smashed.

And I got really angry so I went to a party

And I got very drunk

And I have not been able to fit into this dress for almost a year.

And I have the means to do something about it,

And I just... Just want to give you some space.

And I mean, of course, I knew it was sad,

And I need you to give me money.

And I promise I'm not into him, but...

And I slept with his best friend.

And I thought it would be... rude to not reply.

And I took your phone, and I placed it on top of the barricade

And I want to do it now because Mae'll be there later.

And I want to marry her.

And I wanted to, like, argue with him but I didn't feel that confident, you know?

And I was never touched as a kid. People don't generally like touching me.

And I would just spend the whole day, like, so miserable

And I'd feel like I was letting the team down.

And I'm just sitting here.

And I'm still really annoyed about that.

And I'm worried I put it on too hot

And if I know you the way that I think I do,

And it couldn't fit

And it seemed like a nice idea

And it's easier to just come here

And it's impossible for you to feel romantic love for?

And it's not gonna be warm in the middle.

And just give up on girlfriends.

And just let it go

And just liking the color pink.

And keep moving like a shark.

And my decision's final, Josh.

And no adults before.

And noticing

And now he's just playing PlayStation in my home.

And Patrick, right?

And peanuts! What is that?

And play computer games and eat chips.

And right now you're my biggest expense.

And seeking approval.

And sell the adorable sweets on the cart?

And she said that it would be a bad idea for you

And she took custody of our house...

And she's sexy

And so tense, just terrified

And some...

And sometimes, when I call you at 2 p.m

And spending it on something extravagant like caviar.

And tell me that I was fat.

And that everyone is just thinking I'm a big idiot.

And that her love feelings stop her from making

And that I was gonna die.

And that long to come up with AIDS?

And that makes me feel good.

And that means you guys have to drink all the cups,

And that's my truffle oil on your boobs?

And the fridge.

And the little fella will be fine.

And the weight of the tyres made its head pop.

And then because of that, the environment's got no chance

And then come back later.

And then he's attached a picture of me

And then I don't get angry

And then I used to pick up the 5 cent pieces

And then it makes them pee

And then the one on the right hand as well.

And then they smell the pee to check if they're ovulating.

And then we got news back from the capitals of Japan

And then you didn't even send it right.

And then you say, "Please stop bringing me meat."

And then you won't have a phone to call

And then, like, you know, the polar bears.

And there are probably plenty of boys out there

And there's just nothing anyone can do to make it better.

And they decided they are boyfriend/girlfriend.

And they just bring you meat.

And they probably can't be better, can they?

And they stop bringing you meat.

And they're of what people that they don't care about might think of it

And they're scared of sex.

And to make this official.

And Tom and his ex girlfriend, Niamh, are here.

And use the 5 cent pieces to buy candy,

And watch the sun rise.

And we can see these in the bush for free.

And welcoming, and mine are sharp.

And what are you in for, then?

And when she turned up,

And when you order it, you have to ask

And who gets to be like a poet if the pay is the same?

And why's that?

And yet, you managed to come back nearly every day

And you agreed we were just friends, all right?

And you can do anything.

And you have fat, fat cheeks.

And you have to have an opinion on it.

And you just want to use me as a flesh shag.

And you love him.

And you'll pay me a percentage of the profits

And you're bristling because Patrick's got a boy here.

And you're still in bed, not working at getting better,

And, great, well, I have to go.

And, you know, they're pests.

And... And you... You deserve

Another... another win.

Anthony Robbins.

Anxiety stuff? What's that?

Any of the decisions I made as a teenager, to be honest

Any time we're not hanging out, that's not Grace's fault.

Anytime you bring out an entire leg of ham,

Anyway, the project got axed.

Anywhere, please? Take me somewhere.

Are Alan and Rose fighting again?

Are giraffes like, your thing?

Are in this family?

Are making me not feel anything at all.

Are they all drugs?

Are they the same size?

Are those live worms?

Are we worried she's gonna think

Are we worse than most people?

Are you a kleptomaniac?

Are you all right?

Are you annoyed at me?

Are you bringing anyone?

Are you crazy?

Are you going to trim your pubes.

Are you guys finished?

Are you guys not kissing 'cause I'm here?

Are you having a bad time?

Are you in here because of tuna?

Are you not coming to the zoo?

Are you OK with that?

Are you okay?

Are you planning on proposing?

Are you ready?

Are you sad?

Are you still going out with her?

Are you still in this group?

Are you using that digital camera we bought?

Argyle, yeah.

Arnie!

Arnold, Hannah, Rose, that's my mum, Ginger

Arnold, hi!

Arnold, I didn't know you were rich.

Arnold, it's cool, man, honestly, don't worry.

Arnold!

Arnold! Yeah! Arnold.

Arnold?

Arnold?

Arnold.

Arnold. Hi.

Arnold. What's wrong?

As a voluptuous woman.

As if the Nazi zombies were my heart.

As long as you don't actually try.

As Niamh and a high school student.

Asked me if I was trying to get attention

At death, at mortality.

At least I have a mum, orphan!

At least my bird is colorful, Hannah.

At me?

At someone with a cold for having a runny nose.

At the hospital.

At the same time

Aw, she's so cute.

Aw!

Aww!

Aww.

Babe?

Babies don't care about the zoo.

Back into a mental home, Arnold?

Bad things happen, bad things.

Bad.

Because a friend at school went gray when he was 14

Because he's got this stupid face

Because his psychiatrist is concerned that if we spend time alone together

Because I tell you things all the time

Because I'm curious... I'm a curious guy.

Because I'm curious... I'm a curious guy.

Because I'm in a psychiatric hospital?

Because I've done my resume, okay?

Because it's where I live now.

Because she keeps telling everyone they can be better

Because she tried to commit suicide and that's why she's in here.

Because that feels like the beginning of you having body issues, right?

Because that's your disease.

Because they refuse to have sex with each other?

Because they think, 'Oh, yeah, someone's going to break my heart.'

Because you're an adult.

Because you're crazy, so it would look really harsh of me

Because you're not really interested in caring about others.

Because you're too scared to tell me about her

Because, you're bad at interacting with people

Beef, chicken, seafood maybe, you know what I mean?

Been thinking about you a lot.

Before they're an official addict?

Being alive is not the same as having a life.

Besides, it wasn't just you two.

Best friends.

Better than ever, honestly, really, really.

Big night. Big night.

Bloody hell, Josh.

Bluebirds were giving each other hand jobs.

Boom!

Boring, isn't it?

Both of them were her best friends.

Bow chicka wow wow.

Boy, it means a lot to me that I have your permission.

Boys, boys!

Bragging about your penis, Tom, what the fuck?

Brilliant.

Brine, oil, spring water,

But all those times, they passed.

But he looks so glamorous.

But I also want you and Grace to come

But I am still a human with feelings

But I couldn't do anything because the drugs I'm on

But I couldn't feel anything and that's not right, is it, Joshy?

But I didn't know what time you'd be up.

But I don't have any money to print it,

But I promise next time,

But I think it's important that nobody blames themselves.

But I think we only use 10% of our hearts."

But I'm leaving now.

But if it hadn't,

But if we keep excusing it because it's your disease,

But if you decide to leave, I'll have to call the public hospital.

But it was different with you.

But it was the last time, I promise.

But it's a horrible idea for you to be home alone

But it's just...

But it's the least I can do to stand here

But it's the least I can do to stand here

But maybe on the date, don't say things like that.

But my sister's sick.

But my toffees don't taste like sad.

But nobody ever asked you about it.

But other than that, you know, she's good.

But please don't think this is a big deal.

But she loves me and Gracie loves me

But that's just 'cause I wasn't interested

But then I tricked him into taking it off.

But then, when I found out you were fine,

But truth isn't important, Claire.

But we chatted about it heaps

But what does it matter, anyway? We're here now.

But what we need is more people to believe it's really good

But what you have to do is you have to order it,

But you don't want to stay here, do you?

But you never wanted to do anymore than that?

But you really liked him.

But, Dad, Dad, it's just we still owe the plumber

But, like, a daddy complex thing.

But, like, right next to me!

But, then, take me to the zoo.

But, you know, God is clumsy like that.

Buy a new one.

By a scout master?

Bye bye.

Bye bye.

Bye, Alan.

Bye, bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye...

Bye, bye.

Bye, Mae.

Bye.

Bye.

Bye. See you, Claire.

Bye. See you, Hannah.

C'mon.

Call Arnold.

Can I believe in not going for a run?

Can I fold the pocket square?

Can I get a green tea?

Can I give Tom his phone back now?

Can I have both?

Can I please get a Mexican pizza and a Hawaiian pizza?

Can I please get that Mexican pizza

Can I please just come in for a minute?

Can I stay with you?

Can I talk now?

Can I touch it? I wanna touch it.

Can I, like, make adorable sweets

Can I...

Can someone just tell me who this was meant for?

Can we drink these now?

Can we get Mexican pizza?

Can we just go on the bed?

Can we just stay here for a bit?

Can we not talk about Claire breaking up with Tom again, please?

Can we please go in?

Can we please go in?

Can we please just fucking dance?

Can we...

Can we... Can we take it to the vet?

Can you bring me some coins, Josh?

Can you come visit me?

Can you get me a Hawaiian?

Can you go rescue my frog costume?

Can you imagine what the weed is doing?

Can you make me some toast?

Can you motivate her, Josh?

Can you take her into the shade, please?

Careful, Mae, she might shiv ya!

Champagne, lots of champagne.

Cheapest bottle of champagne.

Cheers

Chicken, beef, chicken, pork,

Chunky tuna, sandwich tuna, mayonnaise,

Cigarettes are disgusting, OK. You smell so horrible, always.

Claire says this is a fire risk.

Claire, can you at least just pass me my phone?

Claire, can you please let me out?

Claire, can you please turn off the internet?

Claire, he's just sitting in the living room

Claire, let me out.

Claire's not that bad at relationships.

Come here.

Come inside.

Come on, fellas.

Come on, Hannah.

Come on, Hannah. Shall we go?

Come on, it'll be fun.

Come on, it's a nice thing that a good person would do.

Come on, it's my birthday.

Come on, Josh, just be grateful.

Come on, let's go see the monkeys.

Come on, let's... Let's not be crass.

Come on.

Come on.

Come on.

Come on. Let's go.

Come on. You didn't even notice the truffle?

Come on. You didn't even notice the truffle?

Come, come.

Conversation doesn't really flow between us, does it?

Cool dude Patrick lighting one of his cool dude cigarettes.

Cool.

Cool. John is also adopted.

Cool... Can I try?

Could you just move just a little bit more outside the door?

Criticizing my life,

Cumquats.

Dad and Mae are here.

Dad, all they do is cry and sleep.

Dad, okay, sure, fine.

Dad, she doesn't have any teeth.

Dad, that camera is so old.

Dad, what's the surprise?

Damn it, I've been tons punked.

Decoupage?

Definitely not, nope.

Delicious.

Delicious.

Did he seem sad?

Did that bruise your ego?

Did you build a barricade outside my door?

Did you do anything else weird with her?

Did you ever consider all the weed?

Did you get your mac and cheese badge?

Did you have to hit it like that, Josh?

Did you just buy raisins?

Did you know that I can touch my eyebrow to my nose?

Did you know that if a cat has a deformed baby

Did you know that if a cat's mum has a deformed baby,

Did you know that male giraffes

Did you know that we've been friends since we were 10?

Did you let her near any crayons?

Did you sex a goth, Claire?

Did you steal something?

Did you talk to him about my cheeks?

Did you tell me that?

Did you trim your pubic hair with my beard trimmer?

Did you turn off the Wi Fi?

Did you want to photograph the cart?

Did you?

Did your sluts leave?

Didn't I say he was handsome?

Didn't want your parents to worry.

Die slowly over two weeks

Dinner?

Disappointment in the man.

Do I have an ego?

Do I?

Do it again, do it again!

Do they have a sound?

Do they have the same degree of wrinkliness?

Do we need lots, Mae?

Do we really want people going into the spa?

Do you ever talk about me in therapy?

Do you feel motivated?

Do you feel motivated?

Do you guys have a lighter?

Do you have a boyfriend?

Do you have a girlfriend?

Do you have a photo?

Do you have the brain capacity to understand love?

Do you know how hard it is to get a hair dryer

Do you know how to get there?

Do you know I can't watch that much dancing.

Do you know she stole my good socks?

Do you know what I mean? It never looks that impressive.

Do you like hanging out with me?

Do you like it?

Do you mind if I put you on speaker?

Do you mind just sitting with her for a moment?

Do you need me to, like, call an ambulance?

Do you not like me?

Do you realize how needy your mother is?

Do you remember that?

Do you remember you when you were a scout?

Do you think it would've worked if you didn't leave?

Do you think it's an issue that she's a child?

Do you think that's a skin cancer?

Do you think they're still looking?

Do you think you could enjoy having sex with prostitutes?

Do you use the word charming?

Do you wanna come?

Do you wanna play "Mario Kart"?

Do you want a... do you want a hug?

Do you want chocolates? Do you want some chocolate?

Do you want me to stay?

Do you want me to take some of your stuff?

Do you want me to take you home?

Do you want me to, I can, like,

Do you want some chili?

Do you want some wine?

Do you want to borrow my camel chinos.

Do you want to come watch my dad propose?

Do you want to come, Marilyn?

Do you want to go on a date?

Do you want to go outside?

Do you want to go? It's a lot of walking.

Do you want to play?

Do you want to see a picture of my Halloween costume?

Do you want to watch something?

Do you watch much Alfred Hitchcock?

Do you wish I was angry?

Do you... Do you want a rest?

Do you... do you want something?

Does anybody want that last chocolate?

Does he always, like, dance talk?

Does he... Does he have a point?

Does Mae know that when you say "for better or worse,"

Does that mean we won?

Doing what?

Dolphin killing tuna, salsa, must...

Don't be sad.

Don't be such a baby.

Don't be such a pussy.

Don't blame me, man. You're her dad.

Don't feel like you need to fill out

Don't get dismissive.

Don't know.

Don't look! I'm sorry.

Don't look! Okay

Don't need a new camera. We use our phone.

Don't read it to me

Don't say that about my marriage.

Don't spoil the surprise.

Don't swallow. In fact, don't chew.

Don't through it on the ground. That's illegal drugs.

Don't want to talk about it.

Don't worry about it, I'll find someone else.

Don't worry about it, Tom.

Don't worry, I'm really good at romance.

Don't worry... Just whenever, whenever.

Don't you swear at me, Joshie.

Don't you think perhaps the happiness and joy of the zoo

Don't you think we should use a condom?

Don't you think?

Eager to please.

Eggplant is delicious.

Eh.

Eight...

Eleven...

Er, it's just really hurting my knees.

Especially when I like the idea of sex with him just so much.

Eugh! Freaky.

Eve?

Even the musk sticks?

Even though nobody will even know I did it, I'll do it.

Even though you seem to have moved on very quickly.

Every party, we just end up standing alone together,

Every single cup and our cup.

Every time people look at monkeys,

Every time they take your pants off. I mean, that's

Every time you finish having sex with her,

Everybody I knew was gonna die,

Everybody poops, hey!

Everybody seems to think that they have to have an opinion.

Everybody's just a stupid, whining, little bitch.

Everyone has those stupid things now.

Everyone just breathe out, and you can take care of Grace.

Everyone kept asking me how my weekend was

Everyone thinks they're the least crazy person in there.

Everyone's disgusting.

Everyone's good, okay? All tops, tops people.

Everyone's terrified, all the time.

Everything all right here, Arnold?

Everything just tastes like sad.

Everything we have is already so big.

Everything you did to Grace.

Except when I look at your face.

Except, instead of saying jalapenos,

Fat Harry always swims and he's hips fat.

Feel how your body moves when you laugh.

Fi i i ine, yeah.

Fifty years of having this face has made him fuckin' furious.

Film, design, dance?

Fine, don't come, I'll find someone else.

Fine, I mean, he's just...

Fine, just wait. I just don't...

Fine.

Fine.

Fine. So what do you want to see then?

First, looking at the one on the left.

Five...

Floor!

Floor.

For a cup of coffee these days?

For a psychiatrist to want to do?

For doing activities

For extra jalapenos...

For my mom so do you need me

For no reason.

For the advertised position of plus size model."

For the money so that we can afford things

For weeks and weeks.

For you and Grace.

Four...

From Patrick's point of view.

From the moment I met you,

Fuck off, Tom.

Fuck, fuck, fuck.

Fuck, they're scared of bread.

Fuck!

Fuck! Niamh.

Fuck.

Fuck.

Fucked up.

Fucking crazy, man.

Fucking do it.

Fucking party.

Funny little fellas, aren't they?

G'day, g'day. Josh.

Gah, fuck!

Gavin is not going in the bin.

Gavin was the last one left

Gavin's dead.

Gee, you can really feel the radiant heat, can't you?

Geez. It's in the water.

Geoffrey was so pretty.

Geoffrey, you're being intense again, okay?

Geoffrey.

Geoffrey.

Germany has a lot of goths.

Get involved, get involved.

Get out of here.

Gets the chocolate, yeah?

Ginger, stop it.

Ginger?

Ginger?

Ginger's note.

Girls have their strong points.

Glasses.

Go away, snake, go away!

Go away.

Go on, pick her up.

Go on, say "Hello."

God, no. It's freezing

God, you're so fast!

God?

God?

God.

Going to see a shit choir so I can be nice to my sick mom.

Good birds.

Good morning.

Good one.

Good tea.

Good time.

Good, 'cause I'm feeling really good, Joshy,

Good, I'm great... I'm really, really good.

Good, thanks.

Good, yeah?

Good?

Good.

Good.

Good. Good.

Good. Good.

Good. Yeah, I mean,

Good. Yeah.

Good... out of this place.

Goodbye, Tom.

Goodness, me.

Goodnight.

Googling.

Gosh.

Gosh. No.

Got you.

Grace

Grace has never been to the zoo.

Grace is sick.

Grace, we are going to the zoo.

Grace, you lie here.

Great, do it.

Great, so now I'm physically comparable

Great, thank you.

Great!

Great. That's great.

Great. That's what it is, then.

Grey doesn't suit them.

Guys, we're here.

Guys.

Ha ha!

Ha! Ha!

Ha. Extra chocolate.

Hah.

Ham cock! Ham cock!

Ham cock... Ham cock!

Ham shots for all!

Ham time... Ham time.

Handsome? Mighty?

Hang on, Josh's calling.

Hanging out the exact same amount, alright.

Hanging out with your cool gang.

Hannah

Hannah is in a choir.

Hannah, that's Rose and that's Josh. Rose is my new roommate.

Hannah, what about you?

Hannah.

Hannah. Mind if I join you?

Hannah's depressed, open the chocolates.

Happening in 10 minutes.

Happy birthday to you.

Happy birthday to you.

Happy birthday, dear...

Harley Davidsons?

Have alone time.

Have an opinion on anything.

Have we met?

Have you been seeing your mum?

Have you counted how many people

Have you ever seen a baby elephant?

Have you ever tried it?

Have you ever wanted to try and kill yourself?

Have you found a boyfriend yet?

Have you spent time with your mum while she's elevated before?

Hazel's coming to pick me up.

He ate all my truffle macaroni and cheese.

He can get out?