BoJack Horseman (2014) - Season 2 Edit

A booming industry with nowhere to go but up.

A little house by a lake?

A storage locker? Ugh!

A story that could never be topped.

ABC sent us limousines to take us to the wrap party.

About how he never forgave you and he tried to kick you out of the house

About the L.A. Kings, and then back to cancer.

Actually, everything feels fresh

Actually, I did it.

Actually, I want both beers!

Actually, I was on. You know what, I'm sick of talking about me.

After he died, Tina and I agreed we couldn't let the book get published.

After you get famous, you stop growing, you don't have to.

Ah, the Valley.

Ahem. "Dear Herb, just finished reading your novel.

Alex is a KGB agent bent on destroying America.

Alex, would you take me back to my sister's place?

Alex. Or should I say "comrade"?

All I ever did was that stupid sitcom that got ripped away from me.

Am I close?

And actress Margo Martindale in prison

And as long as the ratings don't dip below a dismal 15 million a night,

And as the Titanic's band played on as the ship sank,

And don't forget to suck a dick, dumbshi

And don't let me get out of bed until I turn horse colored.

And he said, "Son, you have water now."

And here we have Cinderella's magical pile of used mattresses.

And I am honored to be dedicating this bench in his memory.

And I found this transformation chamber.

And I gotta get my bubble on.

And I still have not been contacted by my handlers.

And I'm on the West End playing Juliet's... nurse.

And if that happens, I want you to take care of each other.

And if that happens, take care of each other.

And make sure you take a video, and I'll e mail blast it to everyone here.

And never challenges you or wants you to change,

And nothing I do is gonna change that,

And nothing was bigger in the '80s than '50s nostalgia.

And only part of the day building, but still, we helped some people.

And other various animals and humans. Come in, KGB High Command

And our star, BoJack Horseman!

And over the last five years, I built my own Disneyland.

And really spray the old Mr. Peanutbutter scent on everything.

And she's the head of programming at a major broadcast network?

And shouldn't give you any more trouble.

And sometimes you gotta swing for the fences, right?

And that scares you, so you sabotage yourself.

And that's how I turned my dream into what I call "The Happiest Place On Urf."

And that's how we do business on Urf.

And that's the most important thing. You listening? What's the most important?

And the smoke of adventure."

And then I met all of you, my friends.

And then we topped it with the "get a room" joke.

And then you never change.

And then you said that there was no Disneyland.

And they're acting real weird.

And this is Gabe Jr., the Grease Fire of the Caribbean.

And unlike that other Disneyland, this Disneyland only has one "i".

And want to see your way of life destroyed, well, so be it.

And we all know he hated your guts.

And when I'm around you, for the first time in 30 years,

And when the mayor gave us the key to the city,

And when the river finally stopped,

And you ended up wrestling on the floor over a telescope.

And you're just remembering this now?

Anyway, hi, I'm Henry.

Anyway, so long, thanks for the memories,

Are they putting my baby into a car, then driving the car into a lake?

Are we?

Are you kidding? I've always wanted to get tanked in a tank.

Are you scared at all?

As it turns out, it's not legal at all. Who knew?

At long last, can you keep down the noise, keep down the funk?

Back in the '90s, the biggest dweeb of them all was Steve Urkel.

Because I'm always Russian.

Because I'm, like, 70 percent sure you used to be American.

Because it was under tap dancing star Savion Glover's office. Let's go.

Because it's terrible.

Because sometimes you wanna go where no one knows your name.

Because this is where money starts rolling in.

Because we both breathe air.

Because you're saying the things polite society won't.

Bees, help! Your queen commands you!

Besides, she's got some really fresh ideas.

BoJack and my mom are becoming, like, friends

BoJack, I am really bumping on the whole you not liking Alex of it all.

BoJack, I'm starting to lose the thread of your character.

Boxer versus raptor. Na na na na na na na na

Boxer versus raptor. Na na na na na na na na!

Brad, hang on one second.

Bradley.

But at the same time we relate,

But David Copperfield really isn't a big draw anymore.

But Herb left you that disk because he wanted us to find his gold.

But Herb? He gave those beavers a dam.

But his resting place should be someplace meaningful, don't you think?

But I can't reach him and I don't know if I ever will.

But I forgot that.

But I want to be better, I'm trying to be better.

But I was clearing out some of the old stages,

But if you're ever in New Mexico, drop me a line.

But if you're gonna kick me to the curb

But it represents a very powerful idea.

But let's give it a spin: "Special Feeling."

But let's not get distracted

But mostly it's just the famous people, right?

But now, with this book, I have something good.

But on the drive home from the hospital, his brakes gave out,

But perhaps the greatest role I've ever played is friend.

But the network said it was too edgy? This is that episode.

But then I thought, why isn't there a Disneyland?

But then when the cancer went into remission

But there is no meaning in death.

But today is about Herb, so let's respect that.

But we did have some crazy adventures together these last few weeks.

But we wanted to work "death" into the title for liability reasons.

But we're not gonna let you steal his legacy, Henry Winkler.

But why would anyone do that? I'm sorry, I'm rambling.

But you do know that there already is a Disneyland?

Can't say I'll miss it,

Capitalism sows the seeds for its own destruction.

Coach said he saw you headed to the visitor's locker room

Come on, everybody. What is this, a funeral?

Come on, Sarah Lynn.

Coolsville, daddy o.

Corona Light.

Could you get me a beer from the fridge? I didn't want to stand up.

Courtesy of the Toad man.

Cut it out with your childish high jinks.

D I I S. This is unambiguous.

Da

Damn. I know I should be mad, but that guy's just so cool.

Did he tell you anything else?

Did you mean "killer of gloom because I bring joy everywhere I go"?

Disneyland has a lot more sparking wires and loose nails than I remember.

Do we get to make more?

Do you have any idea how insane you sound?

Do you know Wanda Pierce?

Do you know what you're supposed to do with our date pits?

Don't forget the ashes, Princess Carolyn.

Don't say that.

Don't worry so much. It's my legacy they're crapping all over.

Don't worry. We'll take care of you.

Don't you have any friends your own age from school?

Don't you love it when appetizers have a little crossover episode?

Erica! You can't be here. This place is filled with children.

Every celebrity has an age of stagnation.

Everybody, stop!

Everyone, gather round and listen to Princess Carolyn's story.

Ew! Some of us are eating.

Family. It's family. I get it.

Fantastic.

Finally, people will have a place to go after they win the Super Bowl.

First of all, rude. Second, gross. And third, why?

Five Squirts.

For most, it's when they get married, settle into a routine

For some reason I don't remember, you're the best friend I've got.

From what a true friend Princess Carolyn is.

Gabe Jr.!

Give me your fax and pager number so I can add them to my Rolodex.

Good news. You know when someone dies, everyone wants to buy their shit?

Good thing you're getting a free sandwich, huh?

Good thinking, Joelle.

Got this crew of worker bees to help me build my Disneyland.

Great pilot.

Guys, I don't think that car crash was an accident.

Guys.

Hashtag 'cancer free.'

Hashtag 'hopefully it isn't full of peanuts.'

Hashtag 'invincible.'

Hashtag 'Oh, no. It was full of peanuts.'"

Hashtag 'tweeting while driving.'

Have fun being sad.

He crashed into a truck full of peanuts.

He died instantly.

He doesn't, because he's dead.

He literally wrote out "dot, dot, dot."

He sure did.

He survived the crash, but he was allergic to peanuts.

He was a peculiar client.

He was full of hope.

He's a little cranky because he just got adult braces.

He's a soviet sleeper agent who doesn't realize the Cold War is over.

He's right. Herb wanted a legacy, but he already has one.

He's trying to tell us a kid fell down a well.

Henry Winkler is a stone cold killer!

Henry Winkler, Jake and Maggot Gyllenhaal,

Her name is Nora. You know, my parents got a divorce because of you.

Herb clearly wanted us to do this, as a family.

Herb died?

Herb made me promise to get it published after he died.

Herb received in the post. Capital!

Herb said, "Volunteering isn't about keys. It's about people."

Herb told me you came by the house last summer.

Herb was a dear friend

Herb went over to a poor little Ottawan boy

Herb wrote a novel?

Herb's computer had a floppy disk drive.

Herb's giving us a reunion special.

Herb's gold?

Herb's nurse is a bear. You think she knew about this gold?

Here we have Mr. Todd's Wild Death Coaster.

Here's 10 bucks. There's a Squirt machine by the garage. Get five cans.

Here's the CliffsNotes version: Shut up, Todd!

Hey, be nicer to Sarah Lynn, will you? She didn't choose this life.

Hey, boys and girls, this is your park DJ speaking.

Hey, buddy, let's just say we Oh!

Hey, guys, guys, come on!

Hey, Joelle, I actually came here to be alone.

Hey, Joelle. Wanna go to the mall this weekend?

Hey, listen to this letter. I think it might be a clue.

Hey, listen, I am so flattered,

Hey, maybe you'll find that something you're looking for.

Hey, this one's having a freak out. She needs to lie down.

Hey, Todd, can you drive me to get my car?

Hey, we never got a chance to walk around the lot.

Hey, what's going on here?

Hey, when was the last time all four of us were in the same room?

Hey, where should we go for my first meal after the operation?

Hey, Winkly, such a shame, isn't it? About our friend Herb?

Hey! My girlfriend's here. Look, everyone! I have a girlfriend!

Hey.

Hey. Special delivery.

Hi, Henry Winkler.

Hmm...

Hmm...

Hmm...

Hold on.

Honey, would you rub my chin for me so I can remember things?

Hooray!

Hooray! Gross miscarriage!

Horsin' Around was a goddamn riot!

How about a new show where celebrities try to guess

How about you just stop sulking and go win her back, dummy?

How am I the bad guy here?

How could you like Horsin' Around but not the horse?

How hard is it to look before they bring it out?

How is that my problem?

How would you like to narrate a documentary for

Huh?

Huh.

Huh.

Hungry for crumpets. But also hungry, dot, dot, dot, for life."

I always pictured you there.

I am awaiting orders to take down the American dogs and pigs

I am really feeling The Kirk Cameron Show.

I am. Of course. God, are you blind?

I assumed you weren't still a massive cunt.

I bet it's still in his old office. Unless somebody else moved in.

I bet that woman barely knew Herb.

I bid you good day.

I bought that cheap plot of non arable dirt by the toxic waste dump

I can do it for a small co pay.

I can tell. My stepdad was a bear.

I can't wait to get involved

I didn't kill Herb, but I did steal his manuscript.

I don't care about Alex.

I don't even know why I came to this party.

I don't even need a pilot. Let's just order 22 episodes.

I don't know what, but it's something

I don't know, I feel weird, like I want to spend more time with you

I don't know. Give it to some orphans

I don't need to take down capitalism.

I don't think I like it.

I don't trust that guy. I bet he's seen Home Alone.

I don't want MBN to just be another boring old network, you know what I mean?

I don't want that. That's blood money.

I especially loved those kids.

I feel like I can be.

I feel like that anonymous girl from Chapter 8 of your book

I felt totally alone in this world before I met Wanda.

I got here as fast as I could.

I got here as fast as I could. Where's the next Dakota Fa ?

I got that one! Snoopy the dog. From "Peanuts." Okay

I gotta get ready for my grand opening. It's finally happening. My Disneyland.

I gotta say, I'm not loving this pitch so far.

I had the idea to build a park, I did all the work and I beat the lawsuit.

I hate to be the one to tell you this,

I have a very important job for you, but if you're zonked out all the time,

I haven't gotten a single very special episode.

I jumped off that burning ship. Print media? What a joke.

I just don't understand why that lady was being all judgy.

I just flew in across the pond and I don't know which end is up.

I just got excited and wanted to smear Mr. Peanutbutter all over everything.

I just got out of my coma, and I don't have time to waste

I just wanted to fix things somehow

I just wish there was something I could do.

I just woke up from a 30 year coma.

I know it feels fast. We barely know each other.

I know there's no accounting for taste, but come on.

I loved you in that one episode of Law & Order: SVU.

I mean, a bottle of vodka?

I mean, I did write a best selling book, but I'm not famous famous.

I mean, I don't hate it because that's also negative, but you know.

I mean, I've never seen it. I assume it's about castles.

I mean, that's just good business.

I never should have tried to make your thing my thing!

I realize that by saying "what" I might set off a chain of events

I said tomorrow, right?

I saved us.

I should have been supporting you, like this support beam.

I spent the last few days with, because if this is who you are,

I think Herb might have been murdered!

I think I will have that beer, can you get it for me?

I think we got a real shot.

I thought you lived in Maine.

I told him, I'm not actually an attorney,

I used to volunteer with Herb at Habitat For Humanity.

I want to do things with you. Fully clothed, sober, in daylight hours.

I want to know what happened to the amazing guy

I want to swing for the fences, you know? Otherwise, what are we doing?

I want you to make sure it gets published after I die.

I want you to sober up.

I wanted to be responsible last night, so I Ubered home

I wanted to make sure what we were doing here was 100 percent legal,

I wanted to make you feel at home,

I was a deep cover KGB operative before I went into my coma.

I was afraid this would happen.

I was just there for, like, a month, 30 years ago.

I was wondering where you wandered off to.

I'll let you get back to your business.

I'm Alex.

I'm at my wit's end, I truly am.

I'm cynical and I'm possessive and I can sometimes fly off the handle.

I'm eccentric. I do weird shit.

I'm glad I never got famous

I'm going to the Lilith Fair this weekend to support female solidarity.

I'm gonna go play astronaut in the trunk of your car for the next few hours.

I'm gonna go rub me some elbows.

I'm Henry Winkler.

I'm Herb Kazzaz's blind executor

I'm honestly so high right now, I don't even know where I'm looking.

I'm jealous. I wish I wrote it.

I'm just a blind man.

I'm just a regular guy trying to live a regular life.

I'm just gonna throw this out there.

I'm just, like, so mad.

I'm no good with funerals.

I'm not always the best at being not terrible.

I'm not freaking out.

I'm not sure I can trust you with the responsibility.

I'm scared. I've never been in a limo.

I'm sorry I accused you of murder, American TV legend Henry Winkler.

I'm sorry I broke your expensive bachelor vase.

I'm sorry, did you say you just woke up from a 30 year coma?

I'm sorry, Horse Guy, but you can't.

I'm sure he's talking about other vultures.

I'm telling you, this book is gold.

I've been trying to contact my handler in Russia,

I've been working on this novel. I wanna be remembered for something.

I've got it! The password is...

I've never even heard of this song,

I've never seen Home Alone and everyone makes me feel like a freak because of it.

I've told the bees if they see you to sting you on sight.

If I could get everyone's attention.

If I wanted to flop around and get seasick for an hour, I'd call your mother.

If it wasn't for that, she never would've gotten sober

If tap dancing was gonna be a cool thing, it would have caught on by now!

If Walt Disney accidentally trademarked the wrong name. I'm sure these

If we can honor Herb's last wish, then that's something.

If you just forget the last 30 years ever happened.

If you're still figuring your shit out.

In fact, it almost feels like I just woke up from a 30 year coma.

In his last days, Herb's cancer had gone into remission.

Instead of going on a crazy adventure to find our dead friend's secret treasure?

Is it a good idea to keep all those mattresses

Is it possible maybe when the other guys tried to copyright the name Disneyland,

Is that name supposed to mean something to me?

Is that normal? Am I normal? What is happening to me?

It contains directions to Herb's gold.

It doesn't just happen when you get famous.

It really burns my brisket

It really feels like I'm back in the '80s, feeling like I'm back in the '50s.

It represents everything America stands for.

It was It was a dumb idea.

It was in your book.

It was just easier to believe that you killed him for his book

It was so funny how he never knew whether or not he did that.

It worked!

It would have turned Herb into a laughingstock.

It's a snake that eats itself. It's only a matter of time.

It's bear fur.

It's been really tough for me these last few weeks.

It's been two weeks since I woke up,

It's crazy, but I like you.

It's crazy, but let's do it!

It's like if Back to the Future and Peggy Sue Got Married got married.

It's like some sort of Disney version of Knott's Berry Farm.

It's like when you're watching Happy Days and Mork shows up.

It's not a party, it's Herb's funeral.

It's not an operation, but we could go to Storky's again.

It's phenomenal.

It's rectal cancer.

It's the address of a storage locker in Van Nuys.

Jeez, all day with the...

Joelle.

Jump to safety! No!

Just because I think you're all capitalist swine

Just finished drawing up blueprints for that Disneyland I'm building.

Just look at it.

Just take the disk from the guy

Just to reiterate, your brakes are in great shape

Kind of busy here, Todd

Let me tell you a story

Let the record show, this is the single dumbest case I've ever adjudicated.

Let us now read his final tweets.

Let's get food? Or walk in park? Or

Let's start that song again from the beginning.

Let's take things back to the '50s, '50s style,

Let's talk about you.

Like Natalie Portman in that movie where she was a professional.

Like the tooth fairy, that parents use to get their kids to behave.

Like you do with my boyfriend?

Listen, kiddo, forget about them.

Little Sarah Lynn.

Look at all these old 20th century relics.

Look at all this Horsin' Around fan correspondence

Look at you, all professional.

Look, one of those answering machines with tapes.

Look, the great guy you've been getting to know, that's me.

Look, the reason I called you is because I need a favor.

Look, you obviously really care about this girl

Looks like a bunch of old junk.

Looks like Herb set up a password.

Machine? Squirt me. Hi yah!

May I, counselor?

Message deleted.

Mixed with the pluck and determination of that anonymous girl

Mm... How curious.

More like "Candle in the Windfall." Cha ching! Hmm...

Mr. Janitor, you're standing next to a machine right now.

Mr. Kazzaz, this is Manny from Pep Boys.

Mr. Peanutbutter.

My name's Toad, baby.

My name's Toad. Toad Chavay.

Nah.

New Mexico?

No matter what, we're going to stick together.

No matter what, we're going to stick together.

No need to apologize.

No, BoJack. What's the play here?

No, but I do know a hot ticket, and this funeral's a real whom's whom

No, I have Herb's book.

No, I wanted you to leave more quietly.

No, it's a It's a prop. I just said

No, no, no, listen!

No, no, no! Listen.

No, Sarah Lynn, I'm dying.

No, that's not it.

No, we talked about cancer, how hard it is living with cancer,

No, you don't understand.

No! Bees! Come on!

No! He's It's not adorable!

No! I can do it! I'll get clean tomorrow.

No! Wind! Be cool!

No. I'm a janitor.

No. My mom's boyfriend home schools me. He's a photographer.

No. You should stick around.

Nobody wanted Herb's office, remember?

Nora? I don't know. I banged so many chicks in the '80s.

Now grab the binoculars. I need dirt on Wanda's new gentleman friend.

Now I got a job in broadcast network television,

Now I got the biggest hardware store in Seattle.

Now I'm in outer space.

Now, let's hear it for our amazing cast.

Now, this is just a prop.

Of course you didn't.

Of course, I haven't had sex in 30 years. I hope.

Oh, do you? I never noticed that.

Oh, God, I I'm so sorry.

Oh, God, it's coming. I can't stop it.

Oh, God.

Oh, great!

Oh, hey, Mr. Peanutbutter, why don't you talk about how you knew Herb?

Oh, I [coughs]

Oh, I get it. You just don't wanna be here.

Oh, I get what happened.

Oh, I just assumed you had a bunch of kids,

Oh, I never met the guy. I'm just here to schmooze.

Oh, jeez, got a couple curly guys in here with the regulars

Oh, let's get some light in here, it's so dreadfully dreary.

Oh, lookie here.

Oh, my God, is it morning? We stayed up all night talking,

Oh, my God, the gold is his manuscript.

Oh, my God, you were the other kid on Horsin' Around.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God. You should be on TV,

Oh, no, I think I'm gonna hit that truck.

Oh, no, no, no. No!

Oh, pardon me. Ow!

Oh, shit.

Oh, thank you.

Oh, that's exactly what I was going for!

Oh, this is easy. Try "BoJack."

Oh, uh, okay.

Oh, um, okay. Uh...

Oh, yeah, I guess.

Oh, yeah! We're finally due for our free sub.

Oh, yeah.

Oh!

Oh...

Okay, I get it. You are building your own Disneyland.

Okay, I gotta go.

Okay, Todd, you can do this.

Okay, well, let's have a look at the Articles of Incorporation to see

Okay, what if we got relevant superstar David Copperfield

Okay, yes. It's true.

Okay, you guys. [yells] You vultures are killing me!

Okay, you're clearly in one of your moods

Okay? You two are family, whether you like it or not,

Okay.

Okay. But also I'm hungry, so I might just stop by the food court first.

On Law & Order: Special Victims Unit.

Oof! Uh...

Oops

Or as we like to call it, Herbitat For Henranity. [laughs]

Or could it?

Or like when Kramer was on Murphy Brown

Pardon me. Is one of you Sarah Lynn?

People loved Horsin' Around. This would only ruin that.

People would love it!

Per the instructions of his last will and testament, I am to give you this disk.

Perhaps it is my overly formal manner of speech.

Please hold your questions until the end of the tour.

Please tell us another story but with even more details.

Plus, it's hard to think straight with this fire everywhere.

Princess Carolyn, please elaborate.

Princess Carolyn, sing us another song in the key of Kazzaz.

Probably because I'm such a big fan.

Probably not since the show ended.

Quick, Todd! The mattress pile!

Really it's just one thing.

Remember how he always wanted to do a treasure hunt episode of Horsin' Around

Remember that time you peed in Drew Barrymore's car?

Remember this word: family.

Right at shin level.

Right, but obviously, I don't care about that,

Right. Well, nerdy Steve Urkel invented a machine

Seriously?

She's basically just a stunted 20 year old.

She's been with the company 30 years. Everyone above her kept getting fired.

She's molting. You know how sisters are.

Shove it up your ass with a spoonful of sugar,

Sincerely, Henry Winkler,

Slap my salami, the guy's a commie.

So "Disneyland" is still up for grabs?

So he could steal the book and publish it himself.

So he'll be in his twenties forever.

So I have the blah blah blah of first refusal or whatever.

So if I go through that magic machine, I'll become cool and confident?

So in that memory, were you British or American?

So no one's read this book except for Henry Winkler

So too will I spin one last record as my DJ booth is engulfed in flames.

So we can always remember your great friendship.

So you're probably wondering the real reason.

So, at the end of the day,

So, I took matters into my own hands,

So, it turned out to be a good thing I peed in her car.

So, now I'm sleeping on my sister's couch, but it's not ideal.

So, these two were so consumed by greed that it destroyed them.

So, what's up, kiddo?

Some kind of magical trash troll?

Some of us here are trying to forget you exist.

Someone already got to Herb's gold.

Something about a merger?

Sorry for all the noise.

Sorry I tricked you, but with Todd running his own Disneyland

Soup plantation Kitchen! Soup kitchen! Whichever one is the good one.

Stella! Stella!

Still, Herb thought me wise for some reason.

Story, story!

Sure thing, Wanda. And I can get you there fast

Sure. We'll cut there.

Tell us about your thing, though, it sounds fascinating.

Tell us another story, Pink Cat Lady.

Than believe that he just died for nothing.

Thank you, Tina, for those touching grunts and growls.

Thanks for coming out. Thank you very much.

Thanks. Hey, why'd you roll up your sleeves like that? You look weird.

That if the show takes off, everything's going to change?

That other guy, the guy from the party,

That ****stani girl who keeps winning Nobel Prizes.

That some people would turn a funeral into some kind of schmoozefest.

That transformed him into the debonair Stefan Urquelle.

That was beautiful.

That'll do, machine.

That's a lie. We're actually in Olympia

That's all right. I've learned that when you're in a loving family

That's better.

That's like saying I have a lot in common with Kanye West

That's like watching Castle but hating castles.

That's me too and you need to know that. I'm not perfect.

That's my problem. I'm too good at sabotage.

That's not Ugh...

That's the show, folks.

That's why it's so terrifying

That's why most people die.

That's why you've been following us around all day.

The disk just has just one file on it, it's

The first time BoJack dates a woman his own age,

The guy from that one episode of Law & Order: SVU."

The middle of your line is as good a place as any.

The name is a work in progress,

The point of Disneyland isn't to make money and win lawsuits.

The Walt Disney Company.

There is no shame in dying for nothing.

There were no further details.

There's a bunch of fur in here.

There's nothing wrong with a little horsin' around.

There's only room for one goofy dog there and his name is Pluto.

There's so much to hate about what you just said.

There's somebody beneath you!

There's something I gotta say. When I was

They keep giving the best story lines to Sarah Lynn.

They wrote down something else by mistake,

This Wait, what? What happened to the $10?

This is Comrade Alexander calling KGB High Command

This might be a stupid question, but were you always so... British?

This place is incredible.

This table's been wobbling all evening.

This treasure hunt sucks.

This was so fun.

Those other people are the worst

To life, huh? It'll kill you.

To make the World Trade Center disappear?

Todd, no.

Todd? Who's Todd?

Topical! I still got it!

Trying to destroy America, the country we all live in.

Tubular.

Ugh.

Ugh.

Uh, I was sort of thinking of this as kind of just my thing

Uh, yes, I remember that. Why do you remember that?

Unless you mean killer of gloom, because I bring joy everywhere I go.

Unless, of course, someone intentionally cut them,

Urf is a made up magical kingdom I added to the Disney canon.

Wait, I haven't seen you in 30 years.

Wait, no. I don't deserve beer.

Wait, she just got out of a 30 year coma

Wait, shut up. Is this the restaurant you bought

Wait, so you'd rather just stay at this funeral and be sad,

Wait, Wanda, we need to talk.

Wanda just got named head of programming at MBN.

Wanda likes you. Why ruin that?

Wanda, meet the one and only BoJack Horseman.

Wanda, these last few days have been so amazing.

Wanda, you make me want to be a better man

Wanna check out that water tank where they filmed The Love Boat?

Want me to leak a nude pic for charity?

Want to yell at the waiter and make a scene?

We already had sex, but I still want to spend time with you.

We can spend more time together.

We could be on the air for many years

We fixed the brakes on your car, pick it up tomorrow.

We got the biggest laugh I ever heard with that "gag me with a spoon" joke.

We gotta hang out more. I didn't know there was anyone else like me.

We have a special guest here tonight.

We probably won't even see each other again, until the next funeral.

We spent most of the day working on that name,

We were gonna sprinkle Herb over the ocean,

We'd most likely drive each other mad.

We'll air it three nights a week.

We're filming Hey, I Think You Can Dance! next door.

We're here to celebrate

We're in this together now, Todd, and nothing will distract me from

We're not a family, BoJack.

We've been there 80 times? It just opened last month.

Well, anyway, I can't believe I'm on a date with BoJack Horseman.

Well, BoJack's stunted, too. He got famous in his twenties,

Well, forgive me.

Well, I think it's safe to take the cone off.

Well, I'll see for myself.

Well, I'm out of ideas.

Well, no one knows how to get under your skin like family.

Well, remember when I first moved in and I kept asking

Well, technically, you did build this while working for P.B. Livin,

Well, that and she just woke up from a 30 year coma.

Well, that'll be $6000.

Well, that's Hollywood for you.

Well, what do you want me to do with it? It's coming.

Well, you blew it again.

Well, you know, I was I was trying out a new look

Well, you should be.

Were you being civil when you had sex with my mom?

What are the writers doing to my baby? Are they killing it?

What are we supposed to do with a floppy disk?

What are you doing here? You didn't know Herb.

What are you saying?

What the..

What?

What? I never Why would ? Wait, which one was your mom? Blond hair? Glasses?

What? I never knew you did that.

What? I'm not a killer.

What's a Coke Zero? I have no idea.

What's going on?

Whatever it is, it is super slimming. I am for totes jel over here.

When am I gonna learn about drunk driving?

When I cry, it messes up my makeup and then I get really bummed out.

When you were trying to show up Mr. Peanutbutter?

Where you make a big deal and everyone laughs,

Where's this next Haley Joel Osment?

Whereby we continue this conversation, but what?

Whether or not people have talent?

Who cares what he wanted?

Who? [giggles] People are watching.

Whoa, can't I help?

Whoa, who are you?

Whoa! Sorry about that needle skip, folks.

Why do I always do this? I push away everyone I care about.

Why does this always happen to me?

Why don't you take this up to Ottawa and spread his ashes there.

Why serve dates and not have a place to put the pits?

With a steel pipe

With this classic '50s hit that everybody remembers:

With two "i"s. That son of a gun trademarked the wrong name.

Woo hoo!

Wow, heady stuff.

Wow, Herb kept all this old stuff.

Wow!

Wow. That's a great line.

Yeah, but 80 times?

Yeah, but you love it, so whenever you suggest it, I always say yes.

Yeah, get out of here, dweeb.

Yeah, I left California pretty much right after.

Yeah, I'm remembering a lot of stuff. The ketamine's wearing off.

Yeah, memories.

Yeah, same for me.

Yeah?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah. He was my best friend and he died hating me

Yeah. I know

Yeah. Let's move in together. Let's do it.

Yep. It only took 12 disks to install it.

Yes.

Yes. That's a great idea, Mr. Dog Man.

Yes. That's why I brought it up.

Yo! That's my bike!

You are a severe alcoholic.

You ascribed a mystery to Herb's death to give it meaning

You called me all the way over here to not get you a beer?

You can count on me.

You can lead a horse to roller, but you can't make him rink.

You can't count each individual thing as a different thing.

You clearly had a special relationship.

You clearly knew the man so well.

You do understand what my "thing" is with your boyfriend?

You don't think Elton John was raking it in when Diana died?

You don't wanna go to the party?