Tuca & Bertie (2019) - Season 1 Edit

A "forever friend."

A boy fry'nd!

A cowgirl, a snowblower, a popsicle stick.

A delicate marriage between crullers and Bundt cake, the crunt.

A feminist one where Mother Goose is not defined by her ability to lay eggs!

A full day of self empowering activities!

A little for you, mm, but more for me.

A little for you, mm, but more for me.

A loose, dangly Band Aid that's been infecting every other area of my life,

A lot of young people get caught up in the fantasy of buying a house

A love letter.

A mob of women are protesting Pastry Pete's Patisserie,

A pulpy pile of your true feelings, Bertie.

A role model for future generations, a beacon.

A tiny house?

About what's been going on with you.

Ack! Don't tell me what to do, worms.

Actually, I think we have one more delivery to make.

Actually, it's a little realtor secret.

Actually, it's just a magazine publisher.

Actually, no.

Actually, no.

Actually, realtors are shockingly tolerant of shenanigans.

Afraid to hear the hard truths about yourself?

After all the times I lotioned you!

After finally trying cocaine for the first time?

After five to seven years, we can upgrade to another home

After staying up all night watching car crash videos.

Agatha! I should never have left you!

Agh, back to the grind.

Ah, a gourmet food magazine! Which one?

Ah, ah, ah. Heading home already?

Ah, excellent!

Ah, excellent. Can you take dictation for me, my dear?

Ah, such a tragedy.

Ah, you better live a long time, you old witch.

Ah!

Ah!

Ah!

Ah! All done.

Ah! Got one of those new shushable flat screens, hmm? Nice.

Ah! Holy fucking shit, the freaking Bread Bowl?

Ah! I just want to live with you forever! Aah!

Ah! I'm free!

Ah! Mm!

Ah! The leggings already!

Ah! This is all too much!

Ah! Too poetic.

Ah! Yes, your felony.

Ah.

Ah.

Ah. Can't say I recommend it.

Ah. Lost in thought. It's good to let the mind wander.

All I wanted was to swim to that island.

All my underwear, my sex toys.

All of us, from the moment we're born.

All of which we covered in parts one through four.

All right, all ready.

All right, all right, here I am. Where the boys at?

All right, although this is highly unorthodox,

All right, everyone, now that we've gotten some housekeeping out of the way,

All right, gang, let's get this wingding bash a roo a ragin'!

All right, I guess I'll just lock up when I leave.

All right, let's get into it.

All right, switch on the charm.

All right! My first customer!

All thanks to my poor judgment.

All the books told me not to.

All these voicemails from Speckle and one...

All this talk about mortgages, and 30 years, and early death...

All you had to do was tell me.

All you have to do, Bertie, is better than that.

Already done! Funds are low!

Also, Athena, stop humping your tambourines!

Also, I'm gonna look really hot in 30 years.

Also, if you maul that guy any more, he's gonna die.

Also, this place comes complete with one non standard toucan.

Also, you'll need to hydrate soon.

Always refusing to make tough decisions.

Always remember, silence is the enemy!

Am I in my apartment?

Am I? You didn't seem to mind my behavior

Amber, what are you doing here? Who's manning the Cineplex?

Amezing? Amazing. It was amazing.

And a busload of troubled teens will be there to hang on your every word.

And add that our audience is expanding, ex specially in the southeast.

And all our mutual friends will hate you,

And an ally!

And aren't prepared to do the work, financially, psychologically,

And as such, we would like you to do our money.

And at the whim of people bigger and stronger than me.

And baby snakes slither out of my mouth in the middle of a meeting?

And blissful bidets for our blessed booty holes.

And both of you live together in this house for a very long time.

And come work for me.

And communicative with me because that's what a relationship is!

And deserves that job!

And ended up in the emergency room!

And everything outside is so blue?

And explore the entire spectrum of emotion.

And get a load of this powerful toilet.

And get some context on how the appellate court system works.

And gives you what you want?

And grab a handful of bloody viscera,

And guess what I found.

And guess what. I'm sorry!

And have one cup of coffee, and you're out. Boom, boom!

And he winked at me!

And here's a pickle for the road. Stay cool and be yourself.

And how about banana muffins?

And I already totally fricked it up.

And I can ruin you.

And I didn't stop him. I didn't say anything.

And I don't know why, and I'm scared.

And I end up all alone like Tallulah?

And I feel the most ardent about you, my dear Lord Deli Guy.

And I have 35 percent down in my space bag.

And I have to defend my best friend in a sex bug trial,

And I have to give a big presentation at work today!

And I just cannot.

And I love those kisses! Give it, give it, give it, give it.

And I love to sit in my house, surrounded by all my crap!

And I love you! Sorry to bother you. I'll just go now, bye!

And I need you to eat me so my soul can finally rest!

And I never adopt 12 babies, and I don't have a family,

And I take it all very seriously.

And I thought, yo, what if we baked together?

And I usually talk over you, but I just realized I'm a stupid asshole.

And I wanna talk about it!

And I wanted to keep feeling good, so I figured I'd check this out.

And I'd like to piggyback on what Bertie is saying

And I'll briefly think, "I should go back on birth control,

And I'm just a little leaf getting blown around.

And I'm not talking about Tuca here.

And I'm terrified that the whole thing is gonna come crashing down on me.

And I've barely cursed at all. It's fucking weird.

And I've never shared this with anyone before

And if I win, you need to babysit my nephew.

And if what you love most is clutter... [chuckles]

And if you can't get him, we'll let you grieve for an appropriate amount of time,

And if you don't remove it, it will rupture,  and you will die.

And if your murderer gets murdered,

And it's almost Molting Day.

And it's got more real pieces of fruit in it.

And it's hard to start fresh with a new career at our age.

And it's my beak brightening strip.

And it's so awkward.

And keep tackling the bigger picture stuff.

And meeting you, I just figure maybe I could work here, too!

And my body is holding my mind hostage" days.

And my loins still long for your feathery bosom.

And next door neighbor.

And no one else will ever love or understand you

And no one replied to my email about merch design.

And now everything's probably falling apart at work and everyone hates me.

And now I'm here in a grocery store that sells $12 bottles of air.

And now I'm very disappointed in you. Bad bird, bad!

And now it's time  for some virtual jerking.

And now let's switch on the deep clean to root out the panic.

And now that I'm thinking about it, probably some sex.

And now you're doing all this great stuff for yourself.

And now, for some tasteful clip art.

And now, here I am, seven hours later, still unsure.

And now, the ghost of St. Oriole flies over Bird Town,

And now, you can take back your sugar.

And now, you're discarding me.

And one of them through acting classes.

And one surprisingly short spring.

And pause for a moment, we'd all realize...

And possibly followed it up with a "boioioioing"!

And probably sit next to a dude eating the world's smelliest egg salad.

And she built all these sorts of secret passageways into her houses.

And she gets to make out with Coach Maple whenever she wants.

And snakes didn't even explode out of my mouth!

And so, our favorite lovebirds find themselves

And some of them are way on the outskirts of Bird Town.

And sometimes inanimate objects that talk...

And sometimes, I think about him.

And stay out of my bakery!

And stay out of my bakery.

And supply me with constant positive reinfo fo!

And ta da! Here you go!

And that bag? Well, that bag is in another bag, baby.

And that beak of yours? Huge.

And that nasty rooster sexually harassed us today!

And that... you don't take them for granted.

And that's Athena. She's the smart one.

And that's Chef Dante Ferrari!

And that's his grandma!

And that's how we can triple our revenue by the end of the third quarter.

And that's my laptop.

And that's not all.

And the fire pit? Purely ornamental.

And the leggings.

And the puppies! Hey, babies!

And the things that they like to do.

And then go home and binge on interior design shows until I feel sick.

And then I have no connections left?

And then I let it happen to someone else! It was like the lamest déjà vu.

And then we'll get you right back out there!

And then we'll have you fine folks on your way.

And then, it'll be purely ornamental.

And then, when the last drop of wine is drunk...

And there it is.

And there's a lady on her phone in there all day, so we can't poop!

And think of all the time you'll save not watching a fireplace

And this is my ChapStick! I bought this ChapStick!

And this is my client, and you will treat her with respect.

And this is my partner and adult daughter Sophie.

And this is our au pair Beakles.

And this is where they'll find our bodies.

And this new bird waltzes in with no experience whatsoever,

And those meetings do drag on. Might be better to sit this one out

And to keep the lights on in that dingy apartment of yours.

And tonight, maybe we can do some celebrating

And under "occupation" for said account owner,

And water your cactus when you're out of town.

And we could, you know, I don't know, target some ads.

And we have savings for a down payment.

And we'll make out for exactly two minutes before he grabs my left boob.

And we're having a really big fight right now, but she's my best friend!

And what did that get her?

And what else, Screechiest One? What else should we reject?

And when his family came back in spring...

And when she passed away, we put her ashes in there.

And whisk you away to the desert

And whose stumpy ass torso is that?

And you didn't warn me?

And you ended up just like her!

And you feel sorry for them!

And you gave my grandmother away.

And you might find there's an even better way

And you never wanna have fun adventures anymore.

And you'd be a moron not to cut that shit out of your lady pipes.

And you'll end up alone!

And you'll never amount to anything?

And you'll never be happy in a relationship

And you're gonna get married, and have babies, and host dinner parties

And you're not boring. You're a magnificent little weirdo.

And, boom, Pastry Pete offers her an apprenticeship!

And, gosh, I hope I become half the woman you are.

And, Sophie, would you like to admit that condo loan you defaulted on

And, uh, freelance junk collector.

And, uh... [coughs]

And... I bought a house!

And... wiki wagga wagga yaay.

Anyhoo, I'm swinging by our place...

Anyhoo, my friend was hoping to get your number.

Anyhow, tomorrow's even better for the presentation.

Anyone else wanna have a go?

Anyone else wanna share a mantra, huh?

Anyway, Rebecca thinks we should make an offer now,

Anyways, what other neighbor stuff can we do?

Are those pubes?

Are we gonna sit around and tell scary stories?

Are you back here?

Are you gonna be a big girl, or do you need the robot?

Are you gonna cut me up and sew my booty hole

Are you here for our "buy 40, get one free" goldfish sale?

Are you just saying my deepest fears and insecurities?

Are you listening to yourself? Bertie, you have a boyfriend!

Are you mad at me?

Are you okay?

Are you serious, sir? You don't discipline your child.

Are you serious?

Are you shitting serious?

Aren't crunts already world famous?

Aroma therapy?

As a man, it's so nice to finally have my voice heard, you know?

As it comes to symbolize the frivolity of the idle rich!

As soon as folks get a taste of Sweet Beak!

As you can see, this home has tremendous copper pipes.

As you can see, this jaguar and I are two adults with our shit together.

Ashley, who cares? Terrence.

Asking for what I want is not my style.

Astral projection?

At least you got the good sense to take my money.

Attempting to transition into an established mating ritual.

Aw, jeez.

Aw, just come with us. It'll be fun.

Aw, man!

Aw, okay.

Aw, okay. But now I'm all pumped to work my Tuca magic and be useful to the world.

Aw, shit!

Aw, well

Aw, yeah, I'm about to bang out a ton of these gigs today!

Aw, yeah!

Aw, yeah! Imaginary fucking.

Aw, you guys.

Aw!

Aw! You seem sweet.

Aw.

Aw. And you always let me eat your snacks.

Aw. I'm sorry.

Aw. My best friend, Bertie, loves it when I fill drawers with ham.

Aw. That would be great.

Aw. You'd make such a cute, old widow!

Aww, poor Bertie.

Aww!

Back in the olden days,

Backtalk? That's 50 sit ups, Songthrush!

Bad brain! Bad brain!

Bad sex bug! Bad!

Bake a big batch of croissants

Baked by the Tasty Num Nums award winning inventor of the crunt.

Baker Barb.

Be a good boy and eat your gamby!

Be so kind as to beguile us

Be still.

Beakles, no!

Beaks, and boobs inside the ride at all times, thank you.

Beat it, Bruce!

Because for some reason, this is how you picture old age.

Because it's dangerous.

Because it's fun to lookie loo and pretend we're rich.

Because no one is ever good enough for you!

Because nothing will ever be as good as ketchup.

Because that's a vital step in baking croissants, of course.

Because there isn't a fireplace.

Because this place is a dream!

Because you actually have a job!

Because you can't get defensive, so you really internalize the guilt.

Because you insisted the buffet was all you can eat!

Because you're horny. [laughs]

Because you're my home.

Because, as adults know, shit must be kept.

Bed fries.

Before Coach Maple, even.

Before grasping the left breast of his mate.

Being a bully is cool again!

Being an adult is the enemy!

Being responsible is the enemy!

Bernard, bring us the beertinis!

Bernard, good to see you, too!

Berticia, you're a queen. I'm so proud of you.

Bertie and I are committed to this process.

Bertie ertie, I can't see you!

Bertie here would like to challenge you to a croissant bake off.

Bertie is the best chef in the whole world and she can kick your ass.

Bertie just wants me to be my best self!

Bertie, are you cleaning up?

Bertie, are you okay?

Bertie, come here.

Bertie, come on outside and help me set the table.

Bertie, did you have anything to add?

Bertie, do you have enough mustard to fill a bath tub?

Bertie, give it a try.

Bertie, how many Band Aids in a doctor's dozen?

Bertie, I think I'm ready to call my sister.

Bertie, I'd like to thank you for speaking up today.

Bertie, it's that dirty turtie!

Bertie, look at these sex bugs. They're just trying to have a good time.

Bertie, make room on the counter for these hot trays.

Bertie, make room on the counter for these hot trays.

Bertie, no.

Bertie, please, only first timers sing by the fountain.

Bertie, should I squeeze lemon into an open wound?

Bertie, talk to me.

Bertie, thank you for your mentorship.

Bertie, that was true power.

Bertie, Tuca is in the hospital.

Bertie, wait for me!

Bertie, what's wrong?

Bertie, will you be our new senior operations analyst?

Bertie, would you like to make your opening statement now?

Bertie!

Bertie!

Bertie! Bertie!

Bertie! Bertie! How many teaspoons are in an ounce?

Bertie! Bertie! The garlic made me better!

Bertie! I couldn't help but notice your gorgeous pastry making technique.

Bertie! Thank you so much for meeting me before work.

Bertie? Bertie! Bertie!

Bertie's boss barely notices we exist, I swear.

Best to not spread this around. It could make our company look bad, so...

Better bring an umbrella. Maybe I'll listen to a podcast on the way.

Bigger!

Bike pump, old porn, new porn, frying pan, screwdriver...

Bird flew right into her face, gave her a concussion.

Blah, blah, I'm Bertie's dumb, annoying coworker, Dirk.

Bleh!

Blur, blur, blur. Bang, bang.

Bone jour. [chuckles]

Boo yah! Water sports! Ba bow! [laughs]

Boom! Problem solving.

Borkle and Squeaky are my only friends. [laughs]

Boss, boss, where is the boss?

Boy, oh, boy, I sure do love these Sweet Beak pastries. [laughs]

Breakfast burrito.

Breakfast nook, moon roof, spa tub, uh, farmhouse sinks with Wi Fi.

Bright red.

Brilliant! [laughs]

Brilliant! You really know yourself. I long for such clarity!

Bring more cocktails to the dressing room, and keep that booze a'flowing.

But another offer has come in for the house.

But as long as you don't act on them, weird crushes are cool.

But at night, I'm a creep.

But broken things can become beautiful with a little patience.

But by smell and appearance.

But by smell and appearance.

But do not get intimidated.

But don't worry. I have a foam roller. We'll roll you right out.

But don't worry. We've got the best doctors.

But first, to display my lovely ingredients,

But have you seen The Nests of Netherfield?

But I can't do that without you, so get back to me.

But I don't know. It's all happening so fast.

But I don't wanna be that person anymore.

But I feel like I could tell you my craziest ideas.

But I get the sense that she's choosing not to.

But I hate it and it's nasty. Look, it's our turn!

But I hate possibilities.

But I have to be the worry wart.

But I just don't really like anybody.

But I know you're the only person who can help me.

But I needed all those novelty socks.

But I paid a deposit!

But I was just buying you time.

But I'm free this afternoon.

But I'm not chasing after you anymore.

But I'm sure there are plenty of kind folks

But I've taken for granted that your face will always be there.

But in the small scheme of things,

But it doesn't matter 'cause it's all in my head.

But it was great seeing you, Auntie Tallulah.

But it won't be so charming when you're my age.

But it's a long drive and I'm afraid of crabs.

But it's not just the sex, or Speckle.

But it's okay. I have a plan.

But just think about how you'll be helping the environment.

But let me just say one more thing.

But maybe you're just having one of your pre panic attacks, you know?

But my mom was crafty and took good care of us.

But not too far from a hospital.

But now it's all, "Tuca, get your box of stuff out of the way!"

But now, an uncharacteristic moment of silence for DJ Parkour...

But now... [gulps]

But of course.

But okay.

But right now, our friendship just feels like so much... work.

But since you're anxious, I'll say nothing.

But sometimes all you need to do is show up.

But sometimes I wonder, what would it be like to be a bigger cog?

But text me his photo, and I'll plot his murder the moment I'm free.

But that was after she made her own money in the plumage industry,

But that was great. Next?

But that woman put nothing but positivity and love in this world

But that's crazy! Yeah.

But the arms of an adjunct.

But the new me would also say

But the way you say them makes them sound mean, so...

But then at Countess Hennypeather's summer equinox

But then I pressured you.

But then, Draca extracted it.

But there's not much I can say that... [gasps]

But this is about me and how I freeze up all the time.

But those two old birds are, like, listening to everything we say.

But wait. What's this?

But when we zoom back in again, close enough to see the details,

But when you're not around, guess what.

But whenever I'm quiet, I hear my estranged friend say mean things,

But without them, the board game industry would immediately go under.

But you haven't met the sex bugs yet.

But you know sex bugs can lay dormant

But you need to be honest with me

But you sound bat shit crazy.

But you were like a runaway train with this house.

But you're a filthy little bird, aren't you?

But you're all over the place.

But you've only been here one day, and you're doing amazing!

But your ex girlfriend sounds like a big meanie.

But, nah, it makes me crazy!"

But... but I'm a good bird.

Buying a house with my ex wife was a disaster.

Buying a jaguar is just the Tuca version of buying a house.

By all accounts, you seem to find me dreadfully foolish.

By the Bird Town Medical Society

Bye!

C O N. CON!

C U L T. CULT!

Call me if you ever want to quit your desk job

Can a mother overlove her daughter?

Can I come with you?

Can I have a bite? [munches]

Can I keep it?

Can I throw a party at your house next weekend?

Can you believe he just grabbed me like that?

Can you believe that?

Can you drop me off at the arcade?

Can you juice these jeans?

Can't chat, Bruce. We're trying to chase down some sugar.

Can't handle the real world, so you run away to these losers.

Can't take my eyes off those calves.

Can't wait for you to accomplish something I can brag about.

Candle facts.

Capitalists!

Case dismissed.

Cashing checks from my rich auntie, mobile notary again,

Caw!

Center for Sex Bug Control.

Chantelle, I swear, it was hilarious.

Charming. I'd love to hear some of your ideas.

Check this out.

Cheers.

Cheesy!

Chefs hate that!

Cherish those you love, Tuca.

Child, you overwatered.

Chop chop! Next song, ladies!

Claudette never smiles!

Cloaca! [echos]

Closed caskets. Every one.

Coach Maple trained me in the mornings before camp.

Coach Maple?

Cock in the Pit!

Code red, code red! They've seen the truth!

Come [groans]

Come here and give your grandma some kisses.

Come look at this pantry. It's got a Lazy Susan and a Lively Linda.

Come now.

Come on in, boys!

Come on, Bertie Bertie!

Come on, Bertie! Just a little further.

Come on, birds.  We gotta hustle! [grunts]

Come on, Dante. I want those kisses.

Come on, guys.

Come on, third wheels. Let's go.

Come on, Tuca. Let's go!

Come on, you get to have your things everywhere.

Come on!

Come on!

Come on. Tell him off!

Come on... Oh, my God. No.

Come. Lie in the water.

Completely underdressed for company.

Confidence!

Confident yet relatable.

Consider it a neighborly gift.

Consider me a built in entertainment center with no off switch.

Consider me impressed.

Cookie omelet, anyone?

Cool, cool, cool, cool, cool.

Cooling off now. Bye!

Could you maybe talk to him about proper office behavior?

Could you read the instructions

Crab Thingz! Make your shell pretty!

Crab Thingz. Eating smaller, weaker crabs!

Crafting fashions that keep housewives, starlets, and investors happy.

Crap hole, dick ass bitch! Oh, how do I stop this shit?

Crème brûlée torch? That's me. I'm on that.

Croissants, Bundt cakes,

Cute!

Daddy, I'm gonna have to call you back.

Damn it! Once again, the siren call of delicious freebies

Damn it. That's a fun thing to say, but tough to hear.

Damn it. The one time I didn't fall asleep naked!

Damn, I'm good!

Damn, that dude loves bananas.

Damn, that's good.

Damn, vent! Why you gotta do me like this?

Damn. Baker Bess

Damn. Good one, Speckle.

Damn. This family's ugly!

Damn. You all shamed me.

Dare I say, croissantiest and best.

Deal with it!

Déjà vus are supposed to be mysterious and cool!

Delicious! I love it! I I can't live without it!

Denied! Go in the street!

Did he give you the sex bugs?

Did she marry some rich tycoon?

Did the landlord ask you to?

Did you feel it?

Did you get that message I sent?

Did you girls want me to order pizza?

Did you go to the beach?

Did you know a jiggly buffalo

Did you know he won a Tasty Num Nums Award last year

Did you say you graduated from culinary school?

Did you see my sugar bowl? I I put it here like an hour ago?

Did you use, ma'am?

Didn't even get to use my new flamethrower.

Didn't that pastry guy give you his number?

Didn't you?

Die, die, die!

Diet tricks for losing those fat legs and that birdseed booty?

Dirk is very good! Chill, guys, chill!

Dirk, I think you should pack your things and leave the office for the day.

Dirk, why don't you get us started?

Do we really need to use the word "assault"?

Do what you did with that bartender in Mooseville.

Do you bugs wanna be a real band, or are we just having fun here?

Do you even work on this floor?

Do you feel it inside, in your pulp?

Do you have any Ethernet cables I could use to start a LAN party?

Do you need help with your virtual sex transaction?

Do you still have it?

Do you think Pastry Pete does this to everyone?

Does it sing? It does now.

Doesn't mean I'm not swimming in gigs.

Doesn't mean we need to live in the house for that long.

Doggie tour guide, and noble motory.

Doing it.

Don't break up with me!

Don't judge.

Don't judge.

Don't let her be so rude to you.

Don't look at me. Being right all the time is a burden.

Don't make yourself a new boyfriend out of fries.

Don't turn around,

Don't want to live with you? Of course I want to live with you.

Don't wear a watch. I go by the sun.

Don't worry. Everything's going to be okay.

Don't worry. I used their bathroom anyways.

Don't worry. We'll make it all back

Don't you dare say another word about my mother.

Don't you dare.

Don't you have a computer in your apartment?

Double salami with extra salami, hold the bread?

Down, puppies!

Draca sent me.

Draca, I see you're a woman of few words, which I admire,

Draca! What are you doing here?

Drizzle on some chocolate and powder, and call them "chouquettis."

Dropping sweets, reminding us to keep our loved ones close.

Dry off and come on over for dinner!

Dude, that's the same chick that's been partying here every night

Dumpling delivery?

Dying?

Easy.

Eep!

Eep!

Eep! [clears throat]

Eep! Sorry, we're shoplifting!

Eesh. Who did that?

Eh, four stars.

Eh, I got seven kids.

Eh! Hands, why must you betray me?

Eh! Sorry.

Eh. There's always more houses.

Eh... Boy, oh, boy, do I love bird peepin'.

Eh... Ooh!

Eight burners, three sinks, and one crème brûlée torch.

Energy healing?

Enwrapped with passion once again.

Even back in college, you didn't listen to me

Even though we just made up, I still have an upset feeling.

Even though you had a super bad case of the Berties.

Even when I go off to theater camp.

Ever since we moved in together and work's gotten really busy,

Ever since you and Tuca stopped talking,

Every Tuesday and Thursday at 7:45 p.m.

Everybody, fuck off!

Everyone is gonna leave you in the end.

Everyone knows that. You need to go back to toilet school.

Everyone loved me.

Everything starts falling apart the second you're gone.

Everything was great when we lived together.

Everything you're saying is totally reasonable,

Ew!

Ew!

Ew! Okay, fine!

Ew.

Ew.

Ew.

Exactly! Thank you!

Excellent show, Tuca!

Except for this one, because it's jammed.

Excuse me, do you know where I can find

Excuse me, while I wait for my terrified friend,

Explain!

Extermination? You can't just kill them!

Fashion magazine, dirty dishes.

Favorite place to hide during a thunderstorm, on the count of three.

Fear not, ladies. Your chef has finally returned.

Feather curler? Okay.

Feed me more files!

Feel it.

Figure this out, you two.

Finally, the intersection of passion and safety overflows

Fine by me.

Fine, but it's your fault for giving me gum.

Fine!

Fine.

Five stars, right?

Five years ago.

Follow me.

Followed the instructions and everything, then I kicked things up a notch.

For combining crullers and Bundt cakes?

For example, enjoy a pornographic film together."

For example, I called in sick to work today,

For horny people who don't know how to have sex.

For Miss Marzipan's School for Horrid, Horrid Children,

For now, Maxwell, you give him yours!

For six months, 11 days, and eight hours, right?

For the brief time that she was in it.

For the next woman to climb through.

For the past two months.

For the women who weren't allowed near them.

For the yolk and white must be yin and yang,

For this sex bug medication out loud, please?

Forget those worms. Look at me.

Four stars.

Fraudulence! Those weren't my impeccably composed words!

Fresh mail, coming in hot! Hyah!

Friend, hero, connoisseur of snacks!

From my own phone?

From what? Wait. Are there giant crabs in this lake?

Fruit roux.

Fuck, shit, asshole, dick face, shit, fuck, the "C" word!

Fuck! Fuck! Be cool! Be cool!

Fucking mother plucking seed sack!

Gah!

Gamby, be quiet!

Gamby?

Garlic, garlic, dish soap, garlic, and a bag for the garlic.

Get off my shit, Jeremy!

Get on up there and work your Tuca magic.

Get on!

Get out, Mom!

Get started on those crünts. And don't neglect the crunts.

Get the fuck out, Mom!

Girl Thingz! Gender is binary.

Girl Thingz. Moms just don't understand.

Girl, when he splashes that vinegar... Mm, God damn!

Girl, you horny as shit!

Girl, you stupid.

Girl, you're a killer out there!

Give it, give it! Kisses!

Give me those kisses. I want them.

Give us back our sugar, you half wet, half dry, full slime booger.

Glad to see you're okay.

Glug, glug, glug. Smooch, smooch, smooch.

Go back to your data processing, you ungrateful and talentless little girl.

Go get him, girl.

Go here.

Go jerk off in a lake.

Go to work. I know.

Go, Grandma! Go!

Gobble me up, sweet child!

God damn it, Carol!

Good day, everyone.

Good day!

Good day! We are Beauregard and Blenda Bartholomew.

Good idea.

Good luck with your banana ride share business.

Good morning, all.

Good news! The doctor is almost done looking inside you.

Good road trip, chica.

Good thing I'm going to that empowerment meeting today.