BoJack Horseman - Season 4 Edit

A bit more... is that it?

A shitty one. How about fixing your door instead of my metaphor?

Aaaah!

Aaah! [gasps]

All right, Beatrice, you got a good whiff.

All right, Crackerjack, time's a tickin'.

All right, folks, this is for posterity,

All right. Believe it or not, time's arrow neither stands still nor reverses.

And by making you fly I would, in a sense, be saving you!

And compliment my secretary on her tight sweaters?

And he's just giving this away for free in a coffee shop?

And if it were up to me, that old house would've been torn down years ago.

And now you ruined it.

And that broken door is the cherry on the top of the shit sandwich.

And then drive yourself and your young daughter home.

And your probably related dumb fear of flying. See if I care.

Are you insane?!

Are you kidding me? He looks nothing like me...

As a modern American man

Aww, I want a freezy pop.

Beatrice, promise me you'll never love anyone

Because I just read Romeo and Juliet and that totally changes things.

Because the girls at the hardware store are so annoying.

Before he catches you a sniffin' and gives you a spankin'.

BoJack? Where are you? Are you okay?

Boxer versus Raptor. ♪ Na na na na na na na na! ♪

But he's not, 'cause I'm not BoJack Horseman.

But I don't know how.

But I wanted to see how high we could go.

But that's the thing, everybody belongs in Los Angeles.

But the brain, well, we have all sorts of science for the brain.

But we spent the last eight months restoring this place.

But who else but I will make sure the numbers add up

But you can't change the past. Time's arrow marches on, right?

But, as they say, time's arrow marches forward.

By soft pitching a web series he crowdfunded.

Clearly, this is a sore subject. I was wrong to bring it up. Let's go back down.

Come on, let's head home.

Crackerjack, you look so handsome in your soldier suit,

Darling, we've been over this. He doesn't need his blanket.

Definitely going to have sex with him later.

Do not look up at the roof of that barn!

Do the responsible thing: have one more drink to steady your nerves

Do you even get Showtime here?

Don't make me go back to that quiet house, please.

Don't sweat it.

Eddie, why don't you mind your goddamn business?

Even Blinky couldn't have stopped that Nazi's bullet.

Faster. I want to feel alive again.

Fine. Keep your stupid secret about your clearly dead wife

For someone who appears to have never eaten a salad.

Get on out of here, Bobby and Susan! I saw you gnawin'!

Getting off on my own guilt while the rest of my life passes me by?

Guess it was just a big waste of time.

Ha ha! What? Too soon?

Hambone Fake name ington.

Hasn't got much use in the last 25 years, except for the termites.

Have a nice life, Hambone.

He was aware that we're posing for a family photo portrait.

He's gone, honey.

Heh! You're telling me! Tamera and Tamara are the worst.

Here it is, Mother.

Hey, buddy, is any of that to fix the door?

Hey, did you fix my door?

Hey, Eddie.

Hey, Not BoJack, did you hear they're making a miniseries about Sarah Lynn?

Hey, we got a saying in Michigan:

Hey, what's going on out here?

Hey! Stop fixing my door, asshole!

Honey Sugarman, how did such a sweet face end up with such a smart mouth?

How am I supposed to sell sugar and keep my secretary's self esteem afloat

How come you don't go away for winter like everyone else?

How many times do I have to tell you? I don't fly!

Huh.

Huh.

I am woefully unprepared to manage a woman's emotions.

I can't be with people and I can't be alone.

I can't stop thinking about him.

I didn't know arrows had legs. "Look at me, I'm a marchin' arrow."

I don't believe this.

I don't belong there, I don't belong anywhere.

I don't know how to be better, Joseph.

I don't know what's wrong with me.

I don't know, but I've got half a mind

I don't know, I thought you would fly to save me

I don't understand.

I don't want to live!

I don't want to live!

I gotta say, you really knew how to handle those salad tongs

I guess that's it.

I have to ask, are you...

I haven't flown since Lorraine died,

I heard people poop their pants when they die.

I know it's here somewhere.

I never said I can't fly, I said I don't fly.

I plastered this wall, didn't I? Uh... oh... oh, oh...

I put it in the closet for safekeeping.

I thought you could take it with you.

I want to dance. I want to fly!

I was at a coffee shop yesterday, I heard a guy trying to impress someone

I was never taught, and I will not learn.

I wish I could somehow pay you back for all your help.

I'd do anything to feel alive.

I'll fight better if I know Blinky's safe with you.

I'll make a distraction at the piano, you climb up, get the weather vane.

I'm gonna play a song now, so look at me!

I'm sad to leave the summer house.

I'm the last of my line.

I've got to ankle back to Indianapolis.

I've missed you, Diane.

I've missed you, too.

If anyone's to blame, it's the **** for peeving off Hitler so bad.

If it can be pinched, they'll pilfer it.

If it means so much to you, I will let you help me.

If the government is rationing sugar, can't you ration work?

If you keep breaking it, I'm gonna break you.

If you want help with that weather vane you'll clam up, Hambone!

It is summer, after all.

It merely marches forward.

It'll be grand. Everything will be just grand.

It's a blight on the neighborhood.

It's Beatrice.

It's okay. I'm better now.

It's okay. Talk to me. What's going on?

It's only ghosts here in the winter.

Keep going, keep going, keep going. There we go, big boy.

Kit Kats aren't already broken. That's the whole point.

Let me guess: the web series is about how funny he and his friends are,

Let's paint the town scarlet, crimson, and ruby!

Like a motorized freckle?

Like a young Clark Gerbil.

Listen, you're sloshed and making a scene.

Look at this.

Love does things to a person, terrible things.

Mama, I don't need no Blinky blankie to fight ninny Nazis.

Meester Horseman.

Mmm. [slurping]

Mrs. Sugarman, control yourself.

My grandfather. I used to come here in the summers when I was a kid.

My hands are doing the wiggly doozle in three four time, but

No more of you? [chuckles]

Not now, you two.

Nothing a little operation couldn't fix.

Now step away from your father's breakfast

Oh, all right

Oh, Beatrice, you know iced cream is for boys.

Oh, darling, don't lift that. You'll rupture your uterus.

Oh, Doc, I let her down.

Oh, don't be cross with Mother!

Oh, God. No, no, come on.

Oh, Joseph, I failed him.

Oh, my God, what am I doing in this backwash of a town?

Oh, of course, the twelve hundred... [muffled muttering] pound horse

Oh, really? Time's arrow marches?

Oh, right, right, right, right, right.

Oh, that would be a dream,

Oh, we'll be as quick as a pour of warm molasses.

Oh, yeah, that's right.

Oh! I almost forgot.

Oh.

Oh. Uh, all right.

Ohh...

Ohhh!

Okay, all right, so you've gone now. You walked away, while I make my point.

Okay, now, the house is absolutely, totally finished.

Okay.

Okay. Obviously, this was not the preferred outcome for either of us.

Once my mother dies and I die that'll be it,

Ooh! I know where this is.

Ooh! It's still there!

Operation?

Or he was, yeah, before he gave it all up for a life of quiet anonymity.

Or if you were just squattin' in his house?

Ow! [grunts]

Pathetic, much?

Perhaps a small town just like this one.

Perhaps he's even... in this very room.

Please.

Probably should have warned you,

Sal! Oh, Sally!

Sally, why don't you get yourself some freezy pops,

Say, I got a swell idea. Why don't you drive?

Say, if it isn't my old baby blanket, Blinky

She just let her womanly emotions get the better of her, that's all.

She's a brand new woman now, and she'd like to meet you very much.

So don't forget to look far away sad.

So you were with Sarah Lynn when she died, right?

Somebody get this guy an overall!

Take care, you two.

Tear the house down?!

Tell me, doc, is she gonna be okay?

Than the dragonfly, who has the word "fly" in the name of what he is.

That is a dick move, buddy!

That was the reaction I was going for.

That's usually a series wrap on a friendship.

The Crab Brothers who run this place are total scavengers.

The house isn't finished yet.

The night Lorraine died she wanted to go back,

The problem is I can't get the right supplies

Then after a long day of killing Nazis

They do let in just anybody.

They got this new thing now, it's called being a passenger.

This is the first summer we'll spend here without him.

Those are because the war is over.

Uh, yeah. You think I just want to mope around in a shrine to the past,

Was it quick? Did he suffer?

We can't stop till we find that weather vane.

We do appreciate the sacrifices you make, Joseph.

We need to take this portrait before you and I both take a powder.

We'll sit in a beer garden and enjoy a pint.

We've dropped bombs on Japan and now everyone is happy.

Well, as a great woman once said, suck a dick, dumbshit. [grunts]

Well, call me a Kit Kat bar because I'm already broken.

Well, I'd love to stay, but I must be going.

Well, it'll always be here, just like polio and blackface.

Well, the important thing is that barista's

Well, the photographer's here. Where is Crackerjack?

What are those fireworks for, Mother?

What are you are you insane?

What I was going to ask was if you were related to Joseph Sugarman,

What kind of a sandwich has cherries on top?

What the hell?

What the hell'd you do that for?

What were you thinking, hoofing around the dance floor

What? No. Why would I ? Forget that.

What? Wait.

What's broken in the heart can never be repaired,

When these guys tear the house down it might make some noise.

When you're having honest to goodness fits of hysteria?

Where is he? Nobody knows.

Which is probably for the best.

Who's BoJack Horseman? He's a very famous TV and film star.

Whoa! Plane! Look out!

Why did everybody stop, huh? What's the gag?

Why did you save me? [sobbing]

Why would you get Paul Giamatti to play me... meaty roles like that one?

Why, I have half a mind...

Why, I've got half a mind to paint things redder than the banks of Normandy!

Why, it's only as easy as finding a hobo in a barrel of beans.

Why'd you say you can't fly? Who's that other person you're clearly in love with?

Will shimmy up a drain pipe to get it, that makes more sense

Wow.

Yeah, and then you tried to kill me.

Yeah, fine, you can help, a little.

Yeah, well, there isn't any more of us.

Yeah! We're hooligans!

Yeah? Well, you got a nice set of pipes.

Yeah. "Hey, Tamara, how about you get some manners ta day?"

Yes, I suppose that's true.

Yes, that's right. What a pretty girl.

Yes, you have a very attractive mother.

You aiming to get her killed as well? She's all we got.

You can sprinkle some sugar on a lemon. That's a good healthy girl snack.

You don't have to fly the plane

You hear that, honey? Time's arrow marches.

You know who looks like BoJack Horseman? Phil the stock boy

You want to fly? All right, let's fly. [grunts]

You want to know how Lorraine felt when she got sucked into that engine?

You want to see how high we can go?

You're flying right now, asshole!

You're like a Josh Groban who doesn't also think he's funny.

[big band jazz playing] [laughing]

[big band music playing] [gasps]

[BoJack laughing] [Eddie] Whoo!

[braying] Yeah, I see it.

[clattering] ♪ It's been so long ♪

[crunching and clattering] ♪ That I'm more horse than a man ♪

[doctor] Nothing we could do. I need to find it.

[door opens] Yes, Mother.

[faucet squeaks] [plumbing rattles]

[fireworks popping] [Beatrice gasps and coos]

[hammering] What the...?

[humming] [playing melody]

[kisses] Ohh.

[knock at door] Oh!

[phone beeps] [line ringing]

[screaming] [metal crunching]

[shouting] Get back here!

[sighs] [Giamatti sobbing]

[smashing, clattering] ♪ Back in the '90s ♪

[sobbing] [BoJack] Aaah!

[sobbing] [playing different melody]

[squeaking] [gasps]

[whirring] Do you even know how to... anything?

♪ And days go past ♪ ♪ Oh, so fast ♪

♪ Drink a brew, I'll see your face... ♪ Come now, be serious.

♪ I don't think I'm gonna last ♪ [wood and glass clattering]

♪ I keep trying to escape this town ♪ ♪ And I just might ♪

♪ I was in a very famous TV show ♪ [wood smashing, truck beeping]

♪ I will always think of you ♪ ♪ I will always ♪

♪ No, I don't want to be alone now ♪ ♪ Oooh ♪

♪ Oooh ♪ ♪ Just biding my time ♪

♪ Summer, winter, year by year ♪ ♪ Year by year ♪

♪ Try to restart ♪ ♪ That'd be smart ♪

♪ I'm BoJack the Horseman ♪ ♪ BoJack ♪

and everything sucks. Michigan?

and keep the change. [chuckles]

And you held her hand. Did you cry?

Are you all right? It's okay. I'm okay.

Are you... Ryan Gosling? No.

as much as I loved Crackerjack. I promise. I won't.

Bea, will you hold on to it for me? [gasps]

BoJack Horseman? No. What? Who's BoJack Horseman?

BoJack is being played by Paul Giamatti. What?!

BoJack, come home. I can't.

but, like, from a guy's perspective. What?!

Come on. [coughing]

Did you snap your cap? You mustn't despise me, darling.

Don't yell, Father. I just can't anymore.

He should've had it. [Giamatti] She's dead?

Hey, Eddie, come on. Eddie, let's go! [sobbing]

Hey, gimme that! [Honey wailing]

Hey, I'm Tamara, that's Tamera. [gasps]

Hey, there it is! Oh, hey! You can't be in here!

Hey, what's your name? Eddie.

Hey! That's not yours! Yeah! We stole that fair and square.

Hey. I don't need any help, thanks.

I don't fly. Okay.

I get that all the time, it's No, BoJack Horseman.

I never should have let him go. Honey, no.

I'm not Did she totally poop her pants?

I'm not too fat to be BoJack. Yeah, BoJack is much fatter, right?

Is Mother okay? She is now.

Jeepers! [sobbing]

just, like, hanging out. He described it as HBO's Girls

Listen to me God, is that true?

Look at that weather vane. Ah.

Me? That's right.

Mother, can I get a freezy pop? Sure, darling.

Mother, let's go. Eddie, let's go!

Mother? Oh, hello.

Mother? Oh!

Mrs. S. Please, please tell me

No, BoJack is not fatter. So you're fatter?

No, sorry. See? That guy's way too fat to be BoJack.

No! We are both equally not fat. Right.

No. TMZ said you took her to the hospital.

Oh, shit. No, I'm fine, actually. You want to go higher?

Oh! Mrs. Sugarman. What happened when he got shot?

Oh. [Eddie chuckling]

Ow! [groans] What are you doing?

Please fix me. I want to be better. [door opens]

Please! Mother?

Please. That's before mentioning poor Beatrice.

Shouldn't we be celebrating? Yes. Yes!

So what was all this for? I don't know.

So, like, in an airplane, then? I don't fly.

That'll be great. Oh, thank you.

That's just war, honey. [sobbing]

There's, like, no barrier for entry. Oh, God, that's true. [sighs]

to kiss you with that smart mouth. Well, that half you can keep.

We're all just tiny bugs, right? [groaning]

What did they do to you? [sobs] Oh, hush.

What do you care? I don't.

What is a series wrap? Are you serious?

Where are you going? Home.

Whoa, whoa whoa whoa! [crashing]

Why'd you call me Hambone? You told me that's your name:

Why'd you make me do that? [groans] You're welcome.

You can have whatever you want. Attention, everyone!

"Put your damn door back on or you're gonna freeze to death, you stupid horse!"

["A Horse With No Name" playing]

["Stars & Stripes Forever" playing]

[BoJack] It's Michigan, and it's beautiful here,

[cellphone ringing]

[chuckling]

[chuckling]

[crying]

[doctor] This was bound to happen. That's just show business.

[Eddie laughing]

[Eddie] ♪ Up and down ♪

[Eddie] Oh, lordy.

[flashbulb pops]

[galloping]

[gasps, groans]

[Giamatti] ♪ Three little orphans One, two, three ♪

[glass shattering]

[glass shatters]

[groans] No!

[growling]

[grunting]

[grunting]

[grunting]

[grunting]

[grunting] Why did you fix this so good?

[grunts]

[grunts]

[grunts] Idiot.

[gulping] Ahh!

[Honey] ♪ Spring and autumn, up and down ♪

[laughing]

[laughs] All right! Ow!

[laughter]

[laughter]

[light applause]

[moaning]

[muffled gasp]

[note plays]

[notification chime]

[notification chime]

[panting]

[panting]

[panting]

[panting] I don't know. I'm so sorry.

[playing melody]

[rattling]

[ringing]

[rustling, hammering]

[sander scraping]

[scoffs] I believe something got plastered.

[shuddering]

[sighs and groans]

[sighs, mutters]

[sighs] Let me get my toolkit.

[sniffing]

[sniffles, sighs]

[sobbing, sighs]

[sobbing]

[sobbing]

[song melody, slowly]

[theme music playing]

[tires screeching]

[together] ♪ But memories, they last ♪

[together] ♪ But memories, they last ♪

[together] ♪ But thoughts of you Haunt my heart ♪

[together] ♪ Maybe tomorrow, not tonight ♪

[truck advancing, beeping]

♪ 'Cause there ain't no one For to give you no pain ♪

♪ After three days in the desert fun ♪

♪ After two days in the desert sun ♪

♪ And darling, you'd be sublime ♪

♪ And days go past ♪

♪ And I'm trying to hold on to my past ♪

♪ And the sky with no clouds ♪

♪ And we're... ♪ [crying] Oh, God!

♪ BoJack ♪

♪ But the air was full of sound ♪

♪ Fill my head when I'm off to war ♪

♪ I guess I'll just try And make you understand ♪

♪ I need somebody dearly ♪

♪ I see your face When each day's through ♪

♪ I was looking at all the life ♪

♪ I will always think of you ♪

♪ I'll hear this song Inside my ear ♪

♪ I'll take flight ♪

♪ I've been through the desert On a horse with no name ♪

♪ In the desert You can't remember your name ♪

♪ In the desert You can't remember your name ♪

♪ It felt good to be out of the rain ♪

♪ La la la la la ♪

♪ La la la la la ♪

♪ La la la la la ♪

♪ La la la la la la ♪

♪ La la la la la la ♪

♪ La la la la la la la ♪

♪ La la la la la la la ♪

♪ Made me sad to think it was dead ♪

♪ My skin began to turn red ♪

♪ Oh, so fast ♪

♪ Oh, the beautiful gals of '44 ♪

♪ Or I'm more man than a horse ♪

♪ The first thing I met Was a fly with a buzz ♪

♪ The heat was hot And the ground was dry ♪

♪ There was sand and hills and rings ♪

♪ We were lost Now we're found ♪

♪ When each day is through ♪

♪ Without a home or a family tree ♪

♪ You see, I've been through the desert On a horse with no name ♪

♪ 'Cause there ain't no one For to give you no pain ♪

♪ And the story it told Of a river that flowed ♪

♪ BoJack the Horseman Don't act like you don't know ♪

♪ I was looking at a riverbed ♪

♪ It felt good to be out of the rain ♪

♪ La la la la la ♪

♪ On the first part of the journey ♪

♪ There were plants and birds And rocks and things ♪