The Big Bang Theory - Season 8 Edit

A $200 R2 D2 is a business expense?

A And Dr. Horrible.

A And that's not offensive?

A Are you sure you're not him?

A As a bit of an elephant seal buff,

A big commitment issue here.

A bird got into the clean room.

A bunch of countries that look like genitals

A ceremony isn't gonna change anything.

A clothespin for my nose.

A compromise is me driving you everywhere

A couple of Dr. Peppers, and...

A different 2015, not the 2015 that Marty and Doc were in.

A dinosaur chicken salad sandwich

A diversified portfolio of stocks and bonds.

A doctor who works a lot.

A five and a three.

A friend of mine, who you probably know

A gallant man would defend his fiancée

A good pharmaceutical sales rep?

A good Texan would've shot her, so...

A grown man in his 30s living with my mother.

A half human, half hippo soldier would be pretty badass.

A hotel? Did you see The Shining?

A hundred.

A kidney, cornea, piece of his liver?

A lactose intolerant roommate

A little bit of a cult following.

A little tremor that turns routine sinus surgery

A little voice in my head said I couldn't do it.

A little, but... he's basically harmless.

A lot of Ma's stuff brings back fond memories.

A lot of the same stuff we're into. Yeah, we do game

A lot of the things in that movie haven't been invented yet.

A loving mother...

A more profound understanding of the world we live in.

A new clothing size between medium and large called Marge.

A new romantic partner,

A new video together, as a couple.

A number of significant innovations have been inspired

A pair of pants.

A panic attack when we went through the car wash.

A perfect day for you?"

A picture of you on my lap

A popular Internet show, and a girlfriend.

A pretty scathing e mail.

A proven way to raise a child.

A quality piece of string art!

A railroad journey of healing

A recording session I must attend.

A regular, a cappuccino and a Chai tea.

A sincere effort to be a good teacher,

A single thing I was talking about.

A Slim Jim?

A space probe might be destroyed,

A statue of Shiva.

A steady girlfriend now, and we assumed

A story can do two things.

A toothbrush or pajamas?

A traditional Victorian Christmas.

A valid point, but unoriginal B minus.

A valuable coping mechanism I've used many times.

A wild animal into my home.

A working prototype of the Mars Rover!

A, surprised you know that.

Aah!

Aah! God!

Aah! Why?

About 60,000 square centimeters,

About a dinner with a theme.

About a topic I'm not familiar with

About being financially independent

About being left out of things,

About coitus with Leonard.

About dying on my birthday.

About flying men in colorful underwear...

About getting you invited to the symposium,

About having kind of a science retreat this weekend.

About herself and posts it on the Internet.

About Hinduism come from Indiana Jones?

About his relationship with Penny.

About how an entire life can seemingly amount to nothing.

About how I made a Van de Graaff generator

About how much I hated about that world.

About how much we love working with you. Isn't that right?

About how you're going to redecorate this place?

About our new birth control pill, Femevra.

About Penny and Sheldon doing this thing.

About Professor Abbott.

About relationships

About Ron Perlman's testicles.

About some traditional parlor games we can play.

About some traditional parlor games we can play.

About somebody pooping on a party in there!

About Stuart and your mom and all their HBOs.

About that picture.

About the 50 sexiest female scientists in California.

About the university forcing me to continue with string theory?

About what the message could be.

About where the boobs should be.

About you going too slow in the relationship.

Absolutely not.

Absolutely. You name it, we're doing it.

Academically inclined as are we.

According to a classic psychological experiment

According to a recent study out of Oxford University,

According to an online message board,

According to the codicil of the Relationship Agreement

Acquiring a joint pet is a big step for us.

Across a wide range of perceptual modalities.

Across the country, do you know what they would have said?

Action.

Actively seek to nourish the same pup.

Actually there's no proof of that.

Actually,

Actually, that's not true.

Actually, your name is on the electric bill.

Actually...

Actually... I said, stay out of it!

Add a belt and I'll take you someplace nice.

Admit it, you're a little turned on.

Adults in a mature relationship.

After a careful evaluation of our relationship,

After a lively debate,

After all these years.

After I spent two hours in your closet,

After much deliberation, we've determined that a turtle

After my entire class fails the midterm.

After the monkey sees, it kills.

Afterwards, Leonard blew his nose,

Again, it looked like my car, and the baby didn't even cry

Again, it was miniature golf.

Again, right in the ears,

Against my well known aversions to heat, small places,

Against well known unsolved physics problems.

Agreed.

Ah, here it is.

Ah, interesting

Ah, that's a good question.

Ah, that's just as well.

Ah, well... very well.

Ah, what a room!

Ah, yeah, now that's what I'm talking about.

Ah, you're upset because you spent the whole night working

Ah!

Ah.

Alarming biopsy results to my patients.

All by myself.

All canines instinctively know how to swim.

All guys like this do is just stand on other people's work.

All he had was an idea.

All I did was answer a few questions about the theory.

All I have is our new urine flow drug.

All I know is, he's got my mother

All I know, Mommy, is that he's a single, wealthy doctor...

All I said was you look handsome.

All I'm gonna say is

All is lost.

All Ma's food is gonna be ruined.

All my other solitude.

All my possessions were stolen.

All new light fixtures...

All of us.

All our technicians are busy helping other customers.

All right, all right. So it it sounds

All right, all systems go in five...

All right, Amy, this walkie talkie is yours

All right, Amy's in charge of pricing and being 75.

All right, do it. Call him.

All right, fine.

All right, fine.

All right, fine. Where did you misroute

All right, guys, look, I would love to go out,

All right, guys, what game do you want to play?

All right, here we go.

All right, hey, you two, we're here for Howard right now, okay?

All right, I talked to my supervisor,

All right, I'll get rid of him.

All right, I've got your back.

All right, it's time for a very special guest caller,

All right, keep thinking.

All right, let me see if I've got this straight.

All right, let's say a physician was prescribing

All right, let's see. What's something fun

All right, my plan is predicated on the assumption

All right, next, we're gonna introduce

All right, no here we go:

All right, now, one benefit of quantum coupling...

All right, playtime's over.

All right, power is reconnected. I think we're back in business.

All right, the pitcher's mound in Major League Baseball

All right, then.

All right, we'll wait.

All right, we've defeated the first challenge.

All right, well, I want it in a church.

All right, well, if I'm understanding this right,

All right, well, what do you want to do?

All right, you can't breathe our air without an inhaler,

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right. Never mind.

All right. Shall we?

All right. Tonight's the night.

All right. Well...

All that effort for nothing.

All that nonsense about superegos and ids.

All that's left to do is

All the dragon T shirts you want.

All the inventions you can have sex with.

All the non human apes are classified

All the other comments said really nice things.

All the squares have been purchased.

All the time.

All the way through Star Wars, I say one word

All the way to a sphincter tightening

All these bright people sitting around a table by candlelight.

All this loud music and exposed brick.

All we have to do is rig up a 3 D communication system!

All you ever do is make fun of him and engineering.

All you need to do is show everyone

All you said

All yours talks about is

Allergic to latex.

Almost 1:00 a.m.

Almost everyone has a past.

Already familiar with the material.

Also mine.

Also, picnics are no picnic.

Also, we both think I'm not funny.

Also, we have juice."

Also, what kind of name is Biff?

Also, Wolowitz invited us all to dinner, so...

Although I could ask the same question

Although I do often deliver

Although it can cause acne, which, if you ask me, kind of

Although it did get exciting for a minute

Although many older women lead vibrant, active...

Although now that I think about it,

Although that was right after the Tasing,

Although we do have a backpack

Although, I must admit, I'm smiling a little bit

Although, I'm concerned that level of politeness and charm

Although, there are ways to improve our communication.

Although...

Amazing.

Amelia and...

Amy and I have a superior relationship to yours.

Amy bought it for me.

Amy has secretly been giving you little puzzles

Amy just hurt my feelings. I want to break up with her.

Amy made a motion for a picnic in a park,

Amy saves the day.

Amy should have figured out she's wrong by now.

Amy totally took off her...

Amy writes Little House on the Prairie fan fiction

Amy, good luck getting these guys excited

Amy, he's my best friend, and if you don't take me,

Amy, I am so sorry.

Amy, I have gotten more done in the last few days

Amy, I've already had one new hole torn in my body today.

Amy, please. I am trying to figure out a way

Amy, the Daleks are right on my tail!

Amy, wait!

Amy, were you serious about being able to serve?

Amy, what did you say?

Amy, you're a neuroscientist.

Amy!

Amy!

Amy!

Amy?

Amy's mad at me, and I'm not clear why.

An accomplished scientist,

An alien named Ford Prefect pretended to be human

An anxiety inducing stimulus, measure your stress levels

An article was just published

An earlier appointment opened up for Leonard

An eight point two out of ten.

An espresso machine for your office.

An interplanetary mission, anyway?

An uncomfortable situation.

And "******* mother tchotchke crapfest."

And a dog who loves me so much she drinks my bathwater.

And a few weeks ago, he almost did a pull up.

And a lot of things

And a naked lady pen that Raj took

And a nation rallied behind him!

And a pointy hat sticking out of your eyeball.

And a really good comeback for Chicken Legs,

And a robot prostitute?

And a supercooled fluid is either meaningless or... false".

And a... and a physical and a moral coward!

And about a hundred degrees.

And admit that we contaminated the clean room?

And affects a mild mannered personality.

And after I let you be Gary!

And all she did was help out another scientist,

And all that's left is an old bottle of champagne

And already the third best sales rep.

And also Bazinga.com was taken.

And always end up taking over.

And and he's far richer

And and we don't belong here,

And anything you say

And are requiring me to teach a class.

And are you gonna use candy to lure them in?

And as long as it's two consenting adults,

And at the end all that's left are some papers in a box.

And at the same time,

And at the same time, not.

And be worth half what I paid for it.

And become his friends and play with him!

And before you answer that, can I have my dessert?

And begin.

And believe me, when food goes in that mouth,

And besides, your mother and I were talking...

And can pull her own limbs off and sew them back on.

And can you describe the bag?

And check in on Stuart because he might be "lonely."

And cooked it in the Easy Bake Oven of my mind.

And couldn't be bothered to tell me?

And crawl out all on their own.

And craziness going on... No, you told me.

And cruise the streets looking for kids to pick up?

And do it on somebody's grave.”

And doesn't deserve his own joke.

And doesn't require outside machinery

And don't expect me to carry you, I do that enough in life.

And don't think...

And dressed like Jabba the Hutt?

And eliminating in Home Depot buckets.

And engaged for one year.

And even I knew it was weird to hire somebody.

And even if there was,

And even though we're not allowed back there,

And failing that,

And feel like a turd. Say cheese.

And fill out your application?

And finally found a place where I belong.

And for all the times you find me irritating,

And for some reason, it just wasn't as good as the first one.

And for those of you who were popular in high school, it's over. Sorry.

And for your information, Leonard,

And found these books full of numbers.

And Gertie can't stop crying.

And girls.

And give poor Raj a chance to come up with what we should do.

And given that you're probably still waiting

And go over the stuff Bernadette gave me.

And good luck I'm a pretty laid back guy.

And got a manicure.

And got him to sign it over.

And got on a train and ran away.

And guess what. That's okay.

And has been extensively corroborated

And have anything better to do.

And he can move out of your mother's house.

And he didn't think that it was fair

And he died.

And he really does have one, you jerks on the comment board.

And he seems to know his way around the ladies.

And he wants to teach why not?

And he's a household name, you know?

And he's all white.

And he's getting the surgery right now.

And he's picking the tomatoes out of his salad

And he's still doing it.

And her body to new feelings."

And her eyes sparkle when she watches old French movies.

And her fiancé, who doesn't believe

And here comes a cake with raisins in it.

And here I am in the trap.

And here we are building our own multi wire detector

And here's the wind up...

And hightail it across the street to Disneyland

And his last meal was a food pellet?

And his power is bringing joy to children.

And honestly I'm a... a little terrified of her.

And honestly, I'm kind of glad.

And how could a chimp even solve that?

And how difficult it is to do

And how difficult they can be, and I think...

And how it relates to the calculus of variations?

And I almost plotzed on the kugel.

And I am nothing but proud of you.

And I am tempted to crack you open

And I applied to be among the first to go.

And I assumed my career would continue

And I bought a $2,000 iguana habitat.

And I broke the drawer on your night stand.

And I can have it.

And I can't think of a thing to get them.

And I could make the case

And I could never do the math like you can,

And I did not want to go to an American prom.

And I didn't know how else to give you the good news.

And I didn't want you to think less of me.

And I didn't write the article.

And I don't want you to be confused

And I don't want you to say it

And I had all the letters to spell “persimmon.”

And I I appreciate that, but I'm not going to die.

And I I want a clean slate.

And I just bit the fingers off your receptionist!

And I just can't hide it.

And I just go along with it.

And I know because I saw a sad man with a pepper mill

And I looked over and I saw a Jesus bobblehead

And I love how your hair is always on the soap.

And I love that I work and do all the cleaning,

And I love that you're strong and independent.

And I made the bed. Now where's my star?

And I may have made it seem

And I need to sort these coins by size.

And I promise

And I promise I won't get mad.

And I really appreciate it,

And I really appreciate it, but now I don't need it,

And I really appreciate it, but now I don't need it,

And I really can't let that happen

And I respect your right to your beliefs.

And I roll...

And I saw a woman dressed as your half ape character.

And I saw Jabba the Hutt riding by on a motorcycle.

And I swallowed the gift receipt so you cannot return it.

And I think I found something we'll enjoy watching even more.

And I think you don't like people

And I thought it might have some interesting applications

And I thought you were, like, really great in it.

And I thought,

And I want you to get along.

And I want you to know

And I was distracted.

And I was just angry at myself.

And I was praying to the Lord

And I was too embarrassed to give it to you.

And I was wondering if any of you guys

And I wasn't included.

And I will pray for you.

And I wouldn't be able to forgive myself,

And I, too, came back stronger.

And I, you.

And I'd like to learn more about it.

And I'd like to point out

And I'd like to tell you why I should be chosen to...

And I'd love your help.

And I'll catch up with you guys later.

And I'll start.

And I'm back on the prom bandwagon.

And I'm banished to the kitchen.

And I'm contractually obligated to make them up

And I'm just hoping we can put this whole thing behind us.

And I'm not angry at all that my boyfriend

And I'm not blind.

And I'm not in love with you.

And I'm not?

And I'm okay with that.

And I'm pretty sure I saw a display case

And I'm putting this on Instagram so he can see it

And I'm still floating.

And I'm sure he knew that

And I'm sure in time they'll change again.

And I'm sure you can turn it around.

And I'm wondering how mermaids have babies.

And I've also been continuing to make progress

And I've learned that one in 700,000 people

And I've seen you guys ignore each other for hours

And if anything bad happens, what's the rule?

And if he ever goes berserk, I know I can outrun him.

And if he's taking off his pants,

And if I could read people's minds,

And if I get it, it could screw everything up.

And if I had a friend, they might have told me that.

And if I may get serious for a moment,

And if I'm this man's father, then he's my son.

And if so...

And if there were, we wouldn't be at the bottom of it.

And if you die during surgery...

And if you only do solid research

And if you screw up,

And if you touched the ground, burn you.

And if you're cool being the only adults there,

And if you're gonna

And in every other aspect of his life, so...

And in plain view of what, for a ten year old, was

And in that future,

And instead of talking about the things

And intellectual resources?

And it doesn't get recorded.

And it just... flew away.

And it may not be cool to say so,

And it plays right into my well known fear of

And it scares me.

And it was a mint condition Scotty from a smoke free home.

And it was just kissing.

And it would be awkward to exclude her.

And it's in the basement of a urologist's house

And it's just furniture.

And it's kind of a big deal financially.

And it's not okay to feel the way I feel.

And it's simply too much.

And it's the happiest day of our lives.

And join us as we take our final lap...

And just so you know, when this started,

And kept my mouth shut.

And last Diwali I watched you eat two pounds of sacred cow

And later tonight, your mother".

And leaving forever.

And leaving it in the sink is not doing the dishes.

And led to sex.

And Leonard never lets me have French toast sticks in the car.

And Leonard's not gonna move out until you're ready.

And live an incredibly wonderful life.

And made his millions.

And maybe dance with someone who has arms.

And maybe there's a way we could use Maglev technology.

And maybe you had a problem with it

And mine isn't.

And mooch off some guy's mother.

And my favorite comic book store burned down,

And my own reflection.

And my toothbrush.

And never left a train station?

And never left the train station.

And never living the rest of his life in the shadows

And never told any of us.

And no regrets.

And none of us wanted to walk back.

And not a single person cared enough to comment.

And not just

And not just “never gets.”

And not just a regular gorilla?

And not just because

And not tell Bernadette how badly I blew this interview?

And not the much more ominous "hello."

And not to take crap from anybody.

And now for our commencement address.

And now I have a brother?

And now I think it's dumb.

And now I'm gonna hear it from Jenny.

And now it's time for the speed round of Flag or Not a Flag.

And now that I think about it...

And now we know everything about each other,

And now you agree, so...

And now you're bringing my mother to a party I'm going to?!

And now you're counting

And now you're worried you made a huge mistake switching fields,

And now's a little hug machine. Oh,

And one "Night to Remember"

And one adult who pretends to consent

And one giant container of matzah ball soup.

And one guy whose genitals look like Denmark!

And one of the officers here

And one train could take me to my current job

And only one gentleman who could be bothered

And our butts! Not hanging it!

And pajamas are the sleep pants of the Man.

And Penny's love of the ol' glug glug?

And pie came out.

And psychology has once again

And Raj's parents

And read for a part.

And realized it's also gross.

And reevaluate our situation.

And rubber gloves, uh, air freshener

And rule number one is pants.

And said they're rethinking it

And salute you.

And say when to stop

And season one of a show called Hannah Montana.

And secondly,

And secondly, I didn't even want you there.

And see how it affects your problem solving rate.

And see if we could get in and look around.

And send that TARDIS back to Gallifrey,

And she kissed me under it in public.

And she was a urethra that could not shake him.

And she's back in the hospital now,

And she's in a bad marriage.

And she's worried that you won't

And Sheldon made me a beverage, too.

And Sheldon really believes we're at a public swimming pool?

And showed him all around NASA

And silly as it sounds,

And since you've had such a rough day,

And snacks.

And so far, I've gotten your probability of death

And so much blood rushed to your genitals,

And so, that's something that we have in common.

And solve the dark matter proton decay problem at the same time.

And some of it's wool,

And something just didn't seem right about Kooth****eney.

And sometimes I get the pedals mixed up.

And sometimes, a mother.

And Stuart is not your bubala; I'm your bubala.

And suck the air right out of your lungs.

And takes the time machine

And talk about something safe, you know,

And tearing down other women is part of my pageant training.

And tell him William Shatner painted it.

And tell them that we compromised all the equipment?

And telling your friend her new pants look like a saggy diaper.

And thank you for putting up with me

And thank you very much for being a fan.

And that made her angry?

And that sounds like a company that makes Dits.

And that was in zero gravity.

And that was Kevin Smith.

And that, little lady, is pi to a thousand places

And that's a little scary.

And that's how it's done.

And that's why you get an iPad helicopter!

And that's why you're the best roommate ever.

And the Avengers are cool with her pumping breast milk at work.

And the game is over.

And the guys might be right

And the hate just grew.

And the Kunta in your Kinte,

And the last time I looked into your eyes

And the more important thing to remember is

And the only reason they even mentioned it in the magazine

And the other train could take me to an audition for a movie,

And the pitch!

And the ribbon I got in swim class

And the story's really good!

And the thought of people

And the time traveling physicist named Cooper

And the trees and...

And the wave is gone.

And then it's a little scary, but could be fun

And then after pupating in our nation's railway system,

And then after someone said "Newton,"

And then call Leonard for help instead of me?

And then come back and see the end of the pitch.

And then Debbie and I got to talking

And then expressed my gratitude that Scientific American

And then I'd throw the cookies away.

And then I'll have the strength to tell you

And then only choosing Leonard.

And then she threw me out

And then she touched my arm for two Mississippis.

And then showing up unannounced at her door.

And then then we get on this big canvas and do our thing.

And then there were the holidays, and then he was sick.

And then they finish it off by staring

And then we do this!

And then went back to the home they share

And then what? And then nothing.

And then while I'm talking to Penny,

And then you try to cover it up.

And then you're dead to me.

And then, bam!

And then, oh, last but not least,

And there goes the mood.

And there's a great deal of pressure

And there's no books called “Officer Hernandez.”

And they caught me in the sculpture gallery

And they're all giggly around each other.

And this is Stuart!

And this is your project.

And this music we're listening to right now is funky as well?

And those eye rolls, but I do. Hmm?

And though we can't understand it, we can be happy to know

And thought some humans wouldn't be able to solve them.

And throw it.

And to clarify...

And to defend, I roll...

And toasting Professor Abbott.

And tried to build a nuclear reactor in the tool shed.

And try to blow the wool off.

And used it to set my father's Mercedes on fire.

And user name "General Relativity."

And want to crawl back inside your mama.

And watch it go everywhere.

And watch the rest of Ghostbusters

And we could have our first sleepover.

And we could teach them about Martian history.

And we had two wonderful Mississippis.

And we just let in a flying crap machine?!

And we said we weren't gonna call it an allowance

And we still don't know who framed him.

And we think it'd be beneficial

And we thought we'd take a shot

And we weren't even watching TV.

And we'll get to have fun interactions

And we're back.

And we're gonna let you go with a warning.

And welcome to Sheldon Cooper Presents: Fun with Flags,

And went to the bank.

And what's the significance of the spider?

And when he lands in the bag to eat it, we close it up.

And when I get to see them for the holidays,

And when I say “love”" I meant as a friend.

And when my roommate got engaged,

And when people finally do notice you...

And while they say never meet your heroes,

And while you're at it,

And whisks me millions of years

And whiter, too, 'cause I wasn't

And who cares who's smarter?

And who says you could even survive

And why can't he take your mom?

And wishful thinking.

And woman of science.

And would you like to know why?

And wouldn't let me in.

And yes, that's how you say that.

And yet, every year, she forces me to celebrate it.

And yet, I still love when you hold a door for me.

And you are going to let them out.

And you as well, Mr. Our Premise Is Intriguing.

And you can't deal with it.

And you don't even have a wedding date.

And you don't have to not ask me twice.

And you don't think that's too rough?

And you found somebody you could push around?

And you gave me the robes to give it in. Thank you.

And you got me locked in a room with a man

And you got me nothing.

And you guess if he was talking to his girlfriend or his dog.

And you have to be respectful of her beliefs.

And you have to be respectful of her beliefs.

And you haven't even brought up Stand By Me.

And you know from past experience

And you know what the best part is?

And you know what?

And you love the sound of your own voice.

And you need Howard to replace your dad as Ringo.

And you probably have to invite your other friend

And you put it right in the center of the table.

And you said no to tickling, polka music

And you said you pressed record.

And you should pick me

And you stay later?

And you think that's going to help? Yes.

And you thought it was soaping me up in the shower.

And you thought they all had a silver lining.

And you were gonna throw it at each other like children?!