The Big Bang Theory - Season 9 Edit

A $500 gift

A a partially eaten piece of pumpkin pie

A beehive to fall on her head.

A birthday cake and Romania said it tasted good

A buddy of mine let me borrow it.

A connection with you all day,

A controlling ownership of anything we come up with.

A conversation for husband and wife.

A couple years, but I just put a few bucks aside

A doctor?

A fact that, when you tell your brother,

A few hours ago, we both loved this song.

A few people?

A few years. Mm hmm.

A financial success, and I get nothing?

A George Clooney limited edition manscaping kit?

A happy birthday.

A husband and a full time career.

A hypothesis that we've been working on for over a year.

A little bit of this? Oh...

A little mystery left in our relationship.

A little rain isn't gonna kill us.

A little, but...

A little.

A lot in a glass.

A lot of money for your invention.

A lot of people want to talk”"

A lot of people while you were sick.

A lot of that stuff; I'm better now.

A lot of things start with “U.”

A lot! Way better.

A medium sized asteroid.

A member of the group might know.

A member of your harem?

A microphone, a room

A million dollars?

A month? What? Are you kidding me?

A music loving hobo with a heart of gold?

A partnership to split anything we make equally.

A party bus party don't stop.

A party now, you have plenty of friends

A party sub implies it's a party.

A pasty, weirdo shaped hole in your life.

A plan to butter me up before delivering bad news?

A pleasure. Hi.

A power ballad, superhero crossover tale

A precocious little Internet show

A promise never to repeat said action.

A proper apology requires three steps.

A real life Game of Thrones.

A Rock and Roll Hall of Fame?

A rock in space that gets me

A Roommate Agreement meeting if you don't want to.

A Russian girl in an apartment in Van Nuys.

A scientist made that.

A six foot wiener in a Flash T shirt.

A small helium restocking fee.

A smart and wonderful woman, you know?

A straitjacket, 'cause 72's the best and you're crazy.

A superpower, and spent your whole life

A Swedish team of physicists

A Texas Special cattle and calf car train set

A Valentine's Day gift for you, our viewers.

A... a lot of attitude from the woman

About aluminum can recycling?

About dating Claire and Emily,

About five years.

About having a Roommate Agreement meeting.

About me, too.

About my share of the patent, so we're forming

About playing together.

About taking a weekend in Vegas.

About taking the smaller bedroom.

About the last Avengers movie... and a whole lot of answers.

About the North American Free Trade Agreement.

About the relationship.

About the three of us forming a partnership.

About what?

About where they were, we'll pretend to believe them,

About you and me and... the boat.

About you helping a beautiful girl with her screenplay?

Absolutely not

Absolutely.

Absolutely.

According to a recent study,

According to this Mexican Customs Web site,

Acknowledging that you understand the university

Across the border with that temper.

Across the street, in the left window.

Act surprised when she tells you."

Actually, funny story the boys in the lab

Actually, I admire it.

Actually, I think he's onto something.

Actually, I was thinking of making one small change.

Actually, I'm still here.

Actually, it's making me dizzy.

Actually, Raj ordered it.

Actually, that's why I'm calling.

Actually, the joke was on her.

Actually, we're not going to the movies.

Actually, what you're doing is pretending to complain,

Actually, yes.

Adam West, for some reason.

Admits where she buried his body.

Afraid so, Skippy.

After 800 flights of stairs.

After five years,

After I tell you what to say.

After Michael Keaton, Christian Bale

After my dad left, but before she died.

After my mom...

After that day, I was hooked.

After that, all I did was check out his profile,

After we talked about it, he started to calm down.

After you asked me out.

After you wrap the body in reflective tape,

Aftershock...!

Again,

Again, no offense, but so have I.

Again, no...

Again, that doctor didn't insult your honor.

Against my will.

Age is a state of mind, Leonard.

Ah ah ah, no money, no helium.

Ah, I also made oatmeal. Ooh,

Ah, it's basic thermodynamics.

Ah, it's my pleasure.

Ah, she took your brother out to celebrate.

Ah, she's a sweetie.

Ah, so like every other

Ah, there's definitely some oak.

Ah, touché.

Ah, well, what's this? A pot of oatmeal?

Ah, what might have been.

Ah.

Ah.

Ah. And what do you do?

Ah. What a lovely evening.

Ah. Yeah, I had to get a little creative

Aha!

Ahm asman matey bee ta teyva.

Alfred!

All about he was screwing around with Mandy Chao.

All afternoon?

All day. Otherwise we'd love to.

All excited to tell him because I thought he'd be thrilled,

All get vasectomies so this doesn't happen to us?

All I got for Valentine's Day was a postcard

All I had in my Batsuit

All I know is after the fight I went to Emily's to smooth...

All I know is logic.

All I'm looking for

All kinds of anxiety.

All kinds of neat experiments on them.

All my friends are going to a wine tasting

All of it?

All of them?

All right

All right

All right, all right!

All right, back to learning. Okay.

All right, do it.

All right, enough with the chitchat.

All right, everyone...

All right, fine, she doesn't need

All right, fine. Well, Sheldon, I'm no expert,

All right, great!

All right, here goes nothing.

All right, here we go.

All right, here you go.

All right, how are we gonna play this when they return?

All right, how you want to do this?

All right, I think I'm getting into a groove here.

All right, I'm not saying

All right, if you say so.

All right, if you're gonna calmly make excellent points,

All right, it's almost game time.

All right, it's called Never Have I Ever.

All right, it's your life.

All right, just stop. This is ridiculous.

All right, Leonard, hang in there.

All right, let's all just calm down.

All right, let's go.

All right, let's see.

All right, look,

All right, my advice to you is do it at her place

All right, my turn.

All right, never have I ever come up

All right, now all that's left

All right, now I'm starting to sense a little tension.

All right, that is a juicy one.

All right, that's eight hours of practice down the drain.

All right, this goes against everything I stand for,

All right, this rust,

All right, way to go, Cat Poster. You hang in there.

All right, we're just gonna have a conversation.

All right, we've got harp thing, sheep thing...

All right, well, after we talked about my issues with my mother

All right, well, can't you, like,

All right, well, Heather H. says,

All right, well, let me know if you guys want to go.

All right, well, what happens if you imagine him naked?

All right, well, what have you tried so far?

All right, what about music?

All right, where is Tall British Dave taking you?

All right, you two, don't start.

All right, you would think "the only adult"

All right?

All right?

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right. But this better not be

All right. I've made up my mind.

All right. Is my pole flag related?

All right. Let's begin with some fundamentals.

All right. Let's just finish cooking.

All right. Let's start over.

All right...

All righty, it's time for Dungeons & Dragons!

All the different ways that you can make toast.

All the movies you've watched,

All the other girls you're dating.

All the time at the university.

All the time isn't accomplishing anything.

All these years, I've been using “stalemate,”

All they have to do is...

All this could be avoided if you'd just come to the meeting.

All those Gandhi jokes about him?

All those nostril hairs.

All those other guys

All we need is to find stuff

All you did was come home from work,

All you did was offer

All you hear women say is,

All you need is a needle and an ice cube.

All your companies.

Allow me to make things entertaining again

Allow me to make things entertaining again

Allow me to underscore my sentiment

Allow us to answer a few quick ones that we get all the time.

Almost any scientific advancement can be used

Almost as much as my regular sized iPad.

Also comes with its challenges.

Also, uh, cherries?

Although Alfred and I had a lot more going for us than you two

Although as I say this,

Although I am currently single, if you know anybody

Although I am getting a little machine oil.

Although I've never really wanted a break from that,

Although, Penny did say exactly that.

Although, we all remember Jar Jar.

Am I an American hero?

Am I being naive?

Am I being weird?

Am I like the dryer sheets of your heart?

Am I?

Am I?

America's urinal cake

Amy broke his heart,

Amy broke up with Sheldon,

Amy broke up with Sheldon.

Amy has ended our relationship.

Amy knows much more than I do.

Amy showed me a compelling study

Amy was afraid to tell her mom she broke up with Sheldon.

Amy, can you believe it? It's Dr. Leonard Hofstadter!

Amy, don't be like that.

Amy, I don't understand, are we broken up or not?

Amy, I hope you can forgive me.

Amy, I noticed your status still says

Amy, I was wrong. Step two

Amy, I'm never washing this hand again.

Amy, if you want to be my girlfriend again,

Amy, thank you for dinner.

Amy, that action will never be repeated, and that's a promise.

Amy, that was lovely.

Amy, there was a song I couldn't get out of my head.

Amy, why don't you

Amy, you have a confetto in your nose.

Amy! Amy!

Amy! Come in.

Amy! What?

Amy?

Amy?

Amy?

Amy.

Amy.

Amy. Amy.

Amy...

Amy...

Amy's at a conference this weekend,

Amy's birthday present will be my genitals.

Amy's gone,

Amy's making me go shopping with her later,

Amy's probably going to date someone at some point.

Amy's upset? Is it about me?

Amy's with Sheldon who she loves like a son.

An engagement ring

An extra helping of this?

An hour, tops.

An hour? What? That's crazy. We have a reservation.

An Indian guy outsourcing a computer job to a white fella.

An irrational fear of beans.

An nondescript, white panel van.

And “C” for the speed of light.

And “made up my mind,

And a captive audience to hear about it? You bet I am.

And a little hungry.

And a lovely Valentine's Day.

And a one, and a two...

And a physicist

And a thermos full of soup.

And a Thunderbolt port?

And act like they were stupid for being mad?

And actually, it was three different men.

And advance. And advance.

And after a while Siri started repeating her answers.

And again.

And again.

And aim for your car

And all alternate universes

And all its moons, I'll be happy.

And all the times that I'll offend you in the future,

And all you received in return

And also, we don't like her.

And am I emotional about that? No.

And analyze this situation.

And and have the cutest little baby bump ever

And and here we are.

And and I realize that she stood up by remaining seated,

And and the one time where... where you were afraid,

And and whenever you're hungry,

And any time you need a break

And as an added bonus,

And as Ash Ketchum said to Pikachu, "I choose you."

And as far as Mr

And as Moon Pie explained,

And ask her to marry me.

And ask her to marry me.

And at the children's hospital until they asked us to leave.

And Batman from The Lego Movie.

And be prepared for tears.

And beat the Swedish team to the punch,

And became a scientist.

And become one with the Internet

And believe me, I try.

And bought her a Prius.

And bring back the bear!

And by dally, I mean some hardcore

And by the way, on July Fourth, we're all sleeping here.

And call you my friend.

And can keep a small portion of their heads dry.

And chaotic for me, and trains represented order.

And checked how long that kind of thing lives

And clearly I'm getting nowhere.

And compare it to the ones we've already collected,

And compare my genitalia to part of Czechoslovakia?!

And congratulations. Thank you.

And couldn't get the tire off.

And dated me, then broke up with me,

And decent friend who's happy to be there

And did you know she has him add things

And didn't blink once."

And didn't invite her.

And do a question and answer session.

And do something else for a while?

And do what makes her happy.

And Dr. Amy Farrah Fowler

And Dr. Amy Farrah Fowler present...

And Elder Sign with Frank and Alicia.

And fall in love with me.

And fall in love with me.

And finds out I don't have an Uncle Harvey?

And forget what I said about the Myanmar catfish.

And gave herself a complete makeover in one day.

And get stuck with the fish,year that's on you.

And get to work.

And hadn't shown him any physical affection for years.

And happy birthday

And have him tested. Good.

And have your body tell you

And haven't told her,

And he does more things for you than I can even begin to list.

And he has the Lilo & Stitch collector plates to prove it.

And he tried to deny it, but his teeth were all purple.

And he used a kitchen timer.

And he was really just keeping

And he witnessed the whole thing.

And he's back in the closet.

And he's sad about it.

And he's the creepy thing in the TV.

And he's, all, like,

And help the less fortunate, huh?

And her mom made her sit in my closet.

And her name was Rosa Parks.

And here we are still talking about them.

And his car wasn't cool.

And his girlfriend, Amy

And his obsessive compulsive disorder.

And his tight little pants

And Homo sapiens frequently mated with each other.

And how are you gonna do that?

And how does it make you feel

And how is the radiant mommy to be?

And how many guys have you gone out with?

And how much longer to the aquarium?

And how much money did your version of Frozen make?!

And Howard doesn't help, either,

And Howard's birthday was a drop off party.

And human resources.

And I accused him of being jealous.

And I acknowledge I can be an intimidating person.

And I call her “Meemaw”"

And I could use your assistance

And I don't need to tell you, there aren't a lot of men

And I don't see any other countries

And I don't want store credit.

And I don't want to repeat this apology nonsense

And I don't want to see that happen again.

And I doubt the military would be interested

And I feel the urge to urinate.

And I get butterflies in my stomach.

And I had been thinking about giving it to you,

And I have more apologies to make.

And I have the soulful eyes of a cow.

And I haven't spoken in over ten minutes,

And I hope that sandwich does cause a party!

And I hope you do it right now,

And I just went up two flights of stairs

And I just... With all

And I kept the leftovers in Claire's fridge that night.

And I knew

And I know that your name is Kenneth Fitzgerald.

And I like to think I helped.

And I need to challenge someone to a duel

And I need to work on that.

And I never did thank you for that, dear.

And I passed Howie on his way out.

And I realize

And I really appreciate your enthusiasm about the baby.

And I really want you to adopt me.

And I saw all the faces and the presents,

And I shall move the world."

And I shouldn't have to see my boyfriend

And I taste good too.

And I think he grew an inch and a half.

And I think my background in "mathletics" helped.

And I think she deserves the benefit of the doubt.

And I think you're even more beautiful

And I thought I ladled the gravy on thick.

And I told you he bit me!

And I treated you terribly.

And I try to keep you on the phone,

And I want you to know that I mean it, you know?

And I wanted to let you know that things didn't work out.

And I wanted to offer you the aquarium tickets.

And I was hoping maybe this year we could.

And I was insensitive.

And I was nursing a baby,

And I was right.

And I will keep loving you until the end of time.

And I wish Leonard never told me.

And I would imagine it meets many

And I would like to hang myself from that tree.

And I would love to interview the both of you.

And I wouldn't tell him.

And I'd like for us to have a good relationship.

And I'd think you'd understand why I'm annoyed.

And I'll get started on a new Roommate Agreement.

And I'm angry at George R.R. Martin

And I'm gonna call Bernadette and see what's keeping them.

And I'm gonna eat it all!

And I'm gonna get fat.

And I'm gonna need you to sign a nondisclosure agreement.

And I'm just hearing about this now?

And I'm just trying to figure it all out.

And I'm laughing like I did the first time I heard it.

And I'm mad that I've had to hide this

And I'm no longer in it?

And I'm scared of fireworks.

And I'm so sorry.

And I'm sorry I lied about

And I'm sure you're tired of hearing that.

And I'm told asking out another woman might make me feel better.

And I'm truly sorry.

And I'm worried I might be overwhelmed

And I've never been called "ma'am" before.

And I've never done that before.

And if any of you have enjoyed seeing me here today,

And if anybody has any questions about what happened or how,

And if he has twins, we can do

And if I do, I I don't need your hand me downs!

And if it looks nothing like Kim it's Khloe.

And if it's a boy, do we get him circumcised?

And if she says no...

And if she says no...

And if she says yes,

And if she says yes, we can put this behind us

And if she starts to cry, don't make any promises.

And if they say no, play it off as a joke.”

And if we can, we can't get a pretty one,

And if you and I have children,

And if you mess with me, I'll report you,

And if you propose, I promise to say no.

And in a gentle, loving way,

And in double blind studies,

And in it I will my Wil back to Wil.

And in ten minutes I figured out

And instead, she rejected me.

And is that why everybody was invited but me?

And it changed my life.

And it doesn't help

And it feels like now might be the right time.

And it helps to have small, delicate fingers.

And it is a pleasure to work with you

And it isn't weird.

And it just got weird.

And it saved my night.

And it seems like we've got everything we need

And it was Gandhi who said,

And it was magical.

And it was Sheldon Cooper who said “Let's speed this up.

And it was the heart of cookie season.

And it... it was just too much.

And it'll run forever.

And it's gone.

And it's just so nice to see you all again.

And it's not because of your chair.

And it's not like we're abandoning him.

And it's sweet that you're worried about me,

And it's the happiest day of our life.

And just be together?

And just get the patent ourselves?

And just like that, you're a Klingon Sanskrit junkie.

And just when they think they got away with it, you jump out.

And kind of delicious.

And last but not least,

And leave me for someone more like you.

And leave you there.

And Leonard said, “Stop saying that.”

And let Emily take a look at you.

And let her know that I'm in a relationship.

And let the grown ups talk.

And license it to companies that make guidance systems.

And lie about it to your wife!

And like that earworm, I can't get you out of my heart.

And listen to the baby's heartbeat.

And look at you, sitting in Sheldon's spot.

And make sure guys aren't being pervs.

And maybe a little Princess Bride.

And me doing this.

And menial life of an engineer.

And most important,

And most importantly, put it on speaker so we can hear.

And my entire family.

And my illness was no excuse for my behavior

And my mucus is as clear as a Yosemite waterfall.

And my pajamas dry.

And my slogan was “a line that's straight

And my wife isn't speaking to me.

And never coming down.

And no matter what happens, this is still a fun experiment.

And normally, I wouldn't,

And not because he thinks he doesn't have any other choice.

And not fight with you about it?

And not inviting me or even telling me

And not only am I Leonard's mother,

And notice that your...

And now Ben Affleck is Batman?

And now I feel worse again.

And now I'm sitting in an engineering lab at Caltech

And now the crazy version of what I just said.

And now this feels like a bad idea

And now you know why I needed the massage.

And now you see the problem.

And now you've made it a problem.

And now, because you're pregnant, you have to.

And now, don't get your hopes up, 'cause he's pretty busy,

And one thing leads to another.

And one, two, three.

And other people's feelings don't matter?

And our shipment's on back order for a month.

And overbite.

And performed my first Vulcan nerve pinch.

And poke around your crawlspace?

And pretend that I don't have to go to the bathroom.

And pretty much track his every movement.

And pull!

And Pythagoras had

And railroad schedules, and I went out...

And Raj and I are volunteering

And reevaluate our situation.

And remember what a good time we had.

And resume our relationship.

And Rick said you could bring in your old one to recycle it.

And rolling around in the mud.

And ruin everything.

And said, “Eat farts.”

And say, “Barkeep, bring me the strongest ale you have

And scoot over.

And see this woman?

And see this woman?

And serve it in the skull of a goblin!”

And set the thermostat

And she left this on my doorstep with a note.

And she made us eat penis cookies!

And she wanted a pastry chef named Jean Philippe.

And she's concerned about us seeing each other at work.

And she's not trying to get back together with you?

And she's pregnant because we had sex.

And Sheldon gave me money for a hotdog on a stick.

And since it is 2003,

And since it's in a quantum state,

And slam it hard,

And slap a sombrero on his head.

And slaughtered every last one of them, so...

And somehow managed to escape from his dark and crazy dungeon.

And sometimes we marry them anyway.

And sometimes we'll sleep over here.

And speaking of red flags,

And squirting Botox into old lady faces...

And stand up for ourselves!

And staying in Detroit longer than you needed to.

And still enjoy the occasional visit.

And still sits on it. Yeah.

And stop talking about how great Claire is.

And stronger.

And Stuart ate all the blueberries.

And Stuart lives here.

And talk about why you married Leonard.

And thankfully, all the things my girlfriend used to do

And that “really” was a real “really,”

And that brings us to “Z” gauge, at a

And that brings us to today, at

And that Hollywood phony Chris Pratt

And that means this baby's gonna half a mess.

And that pretty boy Clooney.

And that stands for "Mature Audiences," buster.

And that was that.

And that's coming from me.

And that's even before we screw it up

And that's how Mommy and Daddy met.

And that's not helpful.

And that's something.

And that's when you just tear 'em a new one.

And the best decongestant we make.

And the day after that was 72,

And the department that e mailed you

And the mama panda gets so scared.

And the object we discovered is...

And the odds of me letting you forget this are zero.

And the other one must decide which he would eat,

And the pilot did such a good job,

And the Scrabble only has seven tiles,

And the shifts are six hours.

And the sooner we decide it's leever,

And the sound is cutting out.

And the threesome didn't deserve the belly laugh it got.

And the very fact that you needed a written guarantee

And the women I have a feeling were responsible.

And then

And then angrily slamming it behind me?

And then break up with me.

And then dated me one more time before going back to him,

And then fought crime disguised as Man Bat,

And then I say, "I'm getting too old for this crud"?

And then instead of dinner a couple of times a week,

And then it feels like

And then it was 72 again...

And then it'll only be

And then me to bring it home with,

And then one night we got a little reckless.

And then sits quietly by my side while I watch Daredevil.

And then there's a animated smiley face

And then there's this nose.

And then we swung by the grocery store.

And then we'll all be like, "Oh, yeah!"

And then we'll kick things up a notch and explore

And then when I arrived,

And then you both watch educational television.

And then you got arrested.

And then you met Amy.

And then, the the rats get eaten by...

And there goes my list.

And there goes our hike.

And there's a baggie of Cheerios for you

And there's a chance you'll get diarrhea

And there's no excuse for that.

And there's only 8,000 tickets left.

And there's your damsel.

And there's your next T shirt.

And they all walked out.

And they don't have sex.

And they don't like me?

And they... they they don't wear underwear.

And they'll be like, "What?!"

And they're trying to beat us to our own discovery.

And things got a little spontaneous.

And this an actual “I'll think about it,”

And this is the thanks we get.

And this may sound surprising,

And this may sound surprising,

And thought I'd gone deaf, that was my hypochondria.

And Tibetan throat singing.

And tipping his hat to the cleaning lady didn't do that?

And to memorialize this occasion,

And toss him in the pigpen.

And tried to lay some groundwork for you?

And tries to climb into bed

And under no circumstance

And want to make it up to you.

And want to move forward.

And was curious what your rate is.

And we all can't wait to see what they are.

And we all had tickets, that would be fine.

And we all think that you can do better than Koothrappali.

And we don't even know about it.

And we had sex because...

And we just don't ask too many questions.

And we keep buying them.

And we know how much he cares...

And we learned that you don't need an eyeball to do that.

And we live here, so we have no choice.

And we promise we'll leave you alone.

And we will officially no longer be roommates.

And we'll look back on this night

And we'll save a spot in line for you.

And we're going to prove that we don't need alcohol

And we're here to take you

And we're seeing what's out there.

And we've built it up in our heads so much.

And we've seen the prize.

And welcome to "Sheldon Cooper Presents: Fun With Flags."

And welcome to a special live edition

And what are you getting him back for?

And what is your earliest memory of the character Spock?

And what we do have I need for my quantum excitation study.

And what you said is true.