The Big Bang Theory - Season 5 Edit

A bar stool dipped in cholera?

A best friend sleepover? Yay.

A beta test requires people that weren't involved in the develop...

A binding covenant that, in its 31 pages, enumerates, iterates and codifies...

A blue jay.

A bossa nova standard on the harp?

A comic that depicts a woman whose bosom can't be used as a flotation device.

A couple of circulars, nothing important.

A couple of them have big boobs.

A couple of weeks ago, I slept with my ex boyfriend.

A date. You and me.

A fact that wasn't discovered until they competed against each other...

A ghostly moan, a rattling of chains, a witch's cackle.

A ghostly moan, a rattling of chains, a witch's cackle.

A good wife would go to the store.

A grown man fainting at the sight of a little blood.

A guest in my trundle bed and a boy at my door?

A hobby?

A lichen is an organism made up of two separate species, fungi and algae.

A little bit for the genital girth.

A little bit? The man super glued Hershey's kisses to your nipples.

A little pre Halloween hijinkery.

A little. But not more than your urethrae will be...

A magic show is an inherently deceitful proposition.

A man pops out for a moment to evacuate his bowels...

A month ago, you were writing poems about his fiancée.

A new one? Unbelievable.

A pitcher of margaritas.

A prenup?

A pretty girl like Bernadette?

A pretty girl like Bernadette. She'll find a new guy.

A really hard look at things and come to the conclusion

A S...

A seagull stole a hot dog from me on the beach.

A side of corn succotash.

A suggestion box.

A tiara. I have a tiara. Put it on me, put it on me, put it on me...

A total loser.

A tribe of Abra Comanches.

A trivia contest. And you may choose the field of battle.

A vintage, mint in box 1975 Mego Star Trek Transporter...

A week from Friday.

A wife.

A word of advice. Moody self obsession is only attractive...

A word of caution, I would not do your Stephen Hawking impression...

A, comic books employ storytelling through sequential art...

A, either party is in danger of falling off a cliff, precipice or ledge.

Aah!

Aah!

Aah! Tiny Spock! Help!

Aah.

About halfway between Bruce Wayne and Scrooge McDuck.

About my fiancée.

Absolutely not. We're just gonna have dinner and, you know, see how it goes.

Absolutely.

Absolutely. If you admit you're a 30 year old man incapable of functioning on his own.

Absurd. What was he, a bad elephant who died and went to hell?

According to their Twitter feed, they're out of sunblock,

Act like one. Tell Amy you wanna spend the weekend having a sleepover...

Actually, Barry, we're not gonna have strippers tonight.

Actually, Froot Loops just got married to a girl.

Actually, I had him tested as a child.

Actually, it's good for both of us. I have assets to protect too.

Actually, some research indicates that by not overthinking...

Actually, that's only 750. Everything's on sale.

Actually, you did do one of them together.

Actually, you know what?

Admittedly the happiest 600 hours of my childhood.

After all, I did book the whole week.

After we got undressed and jumped in bed,

After you used the facilities at the gas station, did you make a purchase?

After you've been thoroughly amazed.

Again, I'm sorry. With Howard and Bernadette getting married...

Again, not enough evidence. For all we know, he's being murdered.

Again. Me, me. Okay.

Age 7, a blood thirsty chicken chases me up a tree.

Age 12, a magpie tries to steal the retainer out of my mouth.

Age 16, a parrot in a pet store calls me fat ass.

Agh!

Ah, great, more guys.

Ah, much better.

Ah, one name.

Ah, President Seibert.

Ah! Look at these cute jeans someone just threw away.

Ah! Oh, dear. I just realized I haven't offered you a beverage.

Ah! They'd go great with this sweater.

Ah.

Ah. I guess I was wrong.

Ah. I guess I was wrong.

Ah. Okay, well, I'm sorry you feel that way.

Ah. You're lucky to have me. Back in Omaha...

Aha!

Aha. Good question.

Ahem, hey, Howard, I need to tell you something.

Ahem, so vastly much.

Ahem.

Ahem. "Expedition 31 will launch this spring to the International Space Station.

Ahem. These are Cooper Coupons.

Ahh. Okay, now, this is the way it's supposed to be.

Ahh. The spoils.

Ahoy.

Aligns the lumbar,

All aboard. Woo woo!

All four wisdom teeth fit comfortably in my mouth without need of extraction...

All hail Sam Kass.

All in all, a pretty magical night.

All right, all right.

All right, but for the record...

All right, Cooper. Prepare to have your heart broken.

All right, fair enough.

All right, fine. Let's just play.

All right, honey, if we're gonna make the movie, we should go.

All right, honey, let me tell you a story.

All right, honey, look...

All right, honey, she's upset. You're her boyfriend.

All right, I have no choice...

All right, I think we got them all. Let's divide up the loot.

All right, I'll remind you.

All right, I'll watch my e mail for the details.

All right, just hurry!

All right, let me give you a little Girlfriend 101.

All right, let's move out.

All right, let's shoot stuff.

All right, look, I'm gonna level with you.

All right, look, I'm gonna level with you. I'm terrified about going into space.

All right, Mom. When you're at the Ripley's Believe it Or Not Museum...

All right, more Sailor Moon for me.

All right, my turn. Ahem.

All right, name your price.

All right, Penny, your turn.

All right, picture this. A beautiful outdoor concert.

All right, pivoting to the big question.

All right, settle down. Red light. Red light.

All right, Sheldon, if you need me to take you to the dentist, I will take you.

All right, Sheldon. There's only one thing left I want you to do.

All right, Sheldon. We're going to Wil's.

All right, Sheldon. Your bird death ray is ready.

All right, so technically it's not a dinner date.

All right, so this particle here is the boson moving forward in time.

All right, so, yeah. Okay, now I'm gonna drink this entire cup.

All right, terrific. Let me just go find a pair of shoes that aren't so tall.

All right, test my ringtone.

All right, that's enough. Today is not about you two.

All right, then.

All right, then.

All right, then. Just shout when you hear the task you want to undertake.

All right, this is a Google Earth view

All right, this is one on one, first to five wins the office.

All right, uh, fine.

All right, uh, how about...? Oh, how about Rocket Man?

All right, we gave it 45 minutes.

All right, we're gonna have to go with an oldie but goodie:

All right, well, whatever. I wasn't worried.

All right, what's going on?

All right, without objection, the minutes of the previous date...

All right, Wolowitz, listen up. You sign anything she puts in front of you.

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right. And in three, two, one.

All right. Let's give it a shot.

All right. Look. Just remember how this works.

All right. So the topic at hand is sexual fidelity.

All right. Thank you. I'm sorry too.

All right. That's enough trash talk.

All right. Then break it off with the new girl.

All right. This four letter word describes either a printer's type size...

All right. We're going out. You like sushi?

All right. Well, could you at least give her a message?

All right. What would you like me to do first?

All right... friend.

All rightie. Shirt coming off.

All systems go, if you catch my drift. Heh.

All that time spent in fear. For what?

All the time.

All the women who rock me.

All these years, I've been so wrong.

All those bridesmaids dresses remain unused...

All we have to do is move quickly over this ridge,

All we know is that Leonard is home.

All you can eat Last Supper Buffet.

All yours if you're willing to reinstate the Roommate Agreement.

ALL:... we now pronounce you husband and wife.

Allergist.

Allow me to say, job well done.

Almost done.

Almost got it. One more time.

Almost. Really get your tongue in there.

Alrighty then. I guess I'll just get started.

Alrighty. An 8.2 magnitude earthquake devastates Pasadena...

Also for breaking the head off the ice swan...

Also no.

Also, and I can't stress this enough, I don't want to take you to the dentist.

Also, instead of just living in your mother's house, you could live inside her body.

Although I can be faulted for being overly fond of koala bears.

Although my dad's gonna go a little nutso over losing his deposits.

Although One Fish Two Fish Red Fish Blue Fish...

Although our cat got stuck in my brother's camp trunk...

Although repellent is kind of a strong word.

Although the people at Cartier took a pretty good shot at it.

Although we both know that won't last.

Although what I lack in leadership,

Although, truth be told, my groin's a little worse for wear.

Although, we distinctly heard his office window open and shut.

Although, you don't use them for what they're for, so what do I know?

Always makes me think

Always.

Am I okay?

Am I okay? Leonard, I'm on a lifelong trajectory...

Am I the bad guy in this?

Am I wearing a summer frock? No, I don't want tea.

Ames, hi. How was the wedding?

Amy had a fight. I was being perfectly reasonable.

Amy, Amy, Amy. Bye.

Amy, come...

Amy, how long would it take for that mad cow disease to kill me?

Amy, I'd like to apologize.

Amy, please.

Amy, really? Twister?

Amy, stop it.

Amy, the Relationship Agreement...

Amy, this is for you, heh.

Amy, what are you doing here?

Amy, what do you think?

Amy, you little vixen.

Amy, you're not a tumor. Penny, tell her she's not a tumor.

Amy? Amy? Amy?

Amy? Is that you?

Amy.

Amy.

Amy. Amy.

Amy. Amy. Amy

Amy...

An e mail from an old acquaintance...

An example of the nepotism...

An hour and a half of beach houses...

An original mint in package Wesley Crusher action figure.

And a funny Greek letter.

And after she lost her marbles, with her remote control.

And again, I'm looking at no one in particular, Penny.

And again, you're welcome.

And all from a country whose entire contribution to the global economy...

And all you've got is "Buck up"?

And an electrical charge.

And an irrational constant.

And And, uh, I I want to punish you with my love?

And apparently Wil Wheaton's best friend.

And at some point during the night, an armadillo crawled in...

And beg me for more, 'cause...

And by the way, that book gave me nightmares.

And can call to mind when you're feeling blue

And clear out a drawer. Thanks.

And converse.

And Fiddle Faddle.

And for future reference, it's this.

And for the record, butter is an excellent lubricant for your rectal exam.

And for the record, I'm very disappointed in you, cowpokes.

And for the record, Jimmy wasn't the reason I wet the bed.

And for your information, it's unisex.

And from what I saw, the feeling was mutual.

And green is "I could probably learn to live with it."

And he might not even have genitals!

And he says he would do it again.

And I am sipping Kool Aid through a Red Vine.

And I don't want to live that way with you.

And I gave it to Stephen Hawking.

And I have flag knowledge that I have to get out of here.

And I promise, after waiting four months, fast is what you're gonna get.

And I suppose my boots and spurs are ridiculous too?

And I thought, "How about I get the guys a little thank you to pay them back?"

And I used the equipment to make my own Bat Signal.

And I was like, "I'm too rock and roll to be tied down"?

And I'd like you to know the most often received suggestion...

And I'll teach you my secret language, Op.

And I'm concerned that, without meaning to...

And I'm going to do it so they don't find out I'm gay.

And I'm gonna make you feel things

And I'm here to help.

And I'm not asking as a prospective bridesmaid.

And I'm pretty sure Alice is the stuff I wanna do.

And I'm sorry, but you're wearing more perfume than I am.

And I'm super smart, so it's probably true.

And I'm sure it's a lot more exciting when you play with other people.

And I'm sure some fool in the Donner Party said the snow would stop any day now.

And I've long thought we should.

And if I may suggest, consider changing disciplines.

And if it was beef.

And if she doesn't want to marry me, I get it.

And if that doesn't work, I'm going to poison his tea.

And if we hit a rough spot, instead of getting mad, we say:

And it came out of you.

And it is reserved for the most important and valued member of the group.

And it's been bothering me for the last eight years.

And it's been wonderful.

And just to be clear, only her baby and not these other people.

And just to be safe, when you talk to him...

And just to clarify, a female wife?

And keep in mind that "no" is a perfectly viable answer.

And look where it got him.

And made a huge mistake last night.

And may I point out, it is the three of you...

And maybe a felon.

And more.

And most importantly, you don't have access to my haircut records.

And my personal favorite, Gunning with God.

And no more singing.

And no pressure,

And no thank you expensive concessions because as an algae...

And no, no, uh, I really mean it. It's not like when we were going out...

And now for dessert.

And now for dessert.

And now I can't imagine spending one day of it without you.

And now me.

And now that I have some wood...

And now they're cavorting at the base of my hair follicles

And now we're reversed.

And now you can't stand to see me with another woman.

And now, all the rings are magically linked together.

And now, the Great Howdini's next miraculous illusion.

And once again, my baloney likes girls.

And Penny and I are in love.

And people still call her "Great."

And playing golf with the Secretary of Defense.

And plus, if you get sweaty enough...

And reverse the spin on the antiproton...

And scared of horses.

And she got him to pay off all her credit cards.

And she was the mother of Andromeda, who's over there.

And she would entertain me with stories about growing up in Oklahoma.

And she's a lesbian.

And she's not building a dam.

And sitting with my feet on the floor.

And take two.

And thankfully, their embarrassment was overshadowed by rise of Fascism.

And thanks for the apology.

And that is the answer to the question:

And that made you feel sad?

And that was hard for me because I didn't do anything wrong.

And that would turn you on a little.

And that's a zinger because you're not.

And that's called school.

And that's how a girl makes a scene.

And that's how a girl makes a scene.

And that's our first bug.

And that's the last thing you do to him.

And that's the strongest kind of love, because at its core...

And that's what we're going to be.

And that's why we wear hard hats.

And the best part is, at the Q and A afterward...

And the first woman you ever disappointed sexually. Bada buzzinga!

And the Geology Department.

And the Klingon High Council.

And the necklace. Yeah, that too.

And the reason is because of her.

And the worms crawl out of the rectum for air.

And then blow it way out of proportion.

And then declaring the party a fiasco and storming out...

And then I find out that Raj's sister Priya,

And then I was attacked by a Gorn.

And then I'm going to drink another one.

And then I'm going to pour in the milk.

And then I'm gonna have some more.

And then it turns out there's another human being.

And then on Christmas morning...

And then we make passionate love.

And then you open it and produce a live...

And then you'd realize that I'm a stallion that has to run free.

And there we have it.

And there's the first zinger. Ouch.

And they said if I date an Indian girl, I get a Maserati.

And they'd offer to toast it for me too.

And they're a leopard spotted secret I share with Victoria.

And three fifths of Kajagoogoo.

And to not having to watch Sheldon demonstrate his reverse osmosis machine...

And to open it would destroy its value.

And tonight's gonna be a good night

And tonight's gonna be a good, good night

And unfriend Howard Wolowitz.

And unfriend Leonard Hofstadter.

And unfriend Rajesh Koothrappali.

And we are gonna have a dinner date.

And we have splash down.

And we know how to settle scores down there.

And we let them think that we decided to just be friends...

And we walk into a dungeon and see a dragon?

And we're back to the obvious.

And were convinced you'd started growing again.

And what do we do it with?

And what's that?

And when he got food poisoning at the Rose Bowl parade...

And when I come back, I have to pick up a poodle crap.

And when it falls, you panic...

And when the toy broke, I switched it for yours.

And when we don't show, he looks the fool. Fiendishly clever.

And where's Amy?

And whose fault was that?

And why did I let you eat them?

And why?

And with that comes an estrogen fueled need...

And you come to my birthday party.

And you tell Howard there's never been anything between us!

And you tried to help and...

And you were all, like, "What are you doing"?

And you, the notes are C, D, E, G and A.

And you.

And you're going to have to choke back a hot sob of regret and humiliation...

And you're gonna be sitting there playing a game?

And you're sitting next to a beautiful woman wearing whorish makeup.

And you're still living at home with your mother.

And, "Yes, I do know why I'm hitting myself."

And, hey, since when are you so chatty?

And, Leonard, even though I don't have one anymore...

And, um...

And, yes, you love correcting people and putting them down.

And, you know, it sounded crazy to me at first...

Annie Ogly.

Any chance I'll learn to love it?

Any girl would be lucky to have you!

Any Jennifer Anniston movie.

Any questions? Yes, Sheldon.

Anyone can go online and get ordained as a minister.

Anyone? Oh.

Anything else about your past I should know?

Anything else?

Anything under 10 miles an hour and I can combat roll into the street.

Anyway,

Anyway, after four years of acting lessons and waiting tables...

Anyway, I got a little residual check from my commercial.

Anyway, I'll let you get started.

Anyway, I'm really sorry I made fun of your stutter in high school.

Anyway, if it's okay with you, we should talk about Howard's bachelor party.

Anyway, it's a beautiful time of year.

Anyway, sir, I need to talk to you about something.

Anyway, the plan for this morning is to go over the...

Anyway, too bad you're no longer entitled to the full benefits of my friendship...

Anyway, you gotta let me know if you have a plus one.

Anyway, you wanna make out?

Anyway...

Anyways, I wanted you guys all to know that I've been taking

Apology accepted.

Apparently I more than make up for in sewing.

Are those Russian rockets safe?

Are those soy based candles?

Are we gonna stand here and listen to him tear Leonard apart like this?

Are you a gold digger or not?

Are you a hundred percent positive you love...

Are you concerned because the world is filled with big dogs and bullies?

Are you crazy? That helmet's signed by Robert Downey, Jr.

Are you familiar with the 12 labors of Hercules?

Are you familiar with the typical development for computer software?

Are you getting sick?

Are you gonna eat that whole pie?

Are you interested in Amy?

Are you mad at me?

Are you not listening to me? The other astronauts have to give you your nickname.

Are you not looking at me? I am Brown Dynamite.

Are you sane?

Are you saying I do?

Are you single?

Are you suggesting that you've come to your senses...

Are you sure? That would explain so much.

Are you sure? The infant mother pair bond...

Are you trying to suggest that my emotional problems...

Are you? You left your queen exposed from above...

Aren't you going with Sheldon?

Aren't you the cutest little Yorkie ever?

Aren't you worried about it being unhygienic?

As a brilliant man, you're entitled to a vice.

As a child, I loved Wesley Crusher...

As a fungus, I have a terrific view growing out of a towering maple tree.

As a man with a keen sense of style,

As a symbolic gesture to all the bullies who've tormented us for years...

As I call the authorities so they may remove

As I didn't know the answer, I thought that gave me a mathematical edge.

As I was saying, empty box, empty cylinder, and...

As is the tradition, I've prepared a series of disrespectful jokes which generate humor...

As much as I'm sure Sheldon would enjoy...

As peculiar and annoying as you can be, you're still my little buddy.

As well you should.

As you know, lizards, cold blooded animals...

As you know, the essence of diplomacy is compromise.

As you're in distress...

As your friend, you might like to know that, um...

Assuage or altruism?

Assuming you'd get the parts and develop the engineering skills...

At a certain point, you start doing trick shots to keep things interesting.

At least you got a window that opens. That's nice.

At least, not since...

At that restaurant when you said you wanted us to be together again...

At the end of the haircut, Mr. D'Onofrio would tell me a dirty joke.

At this moment, I find myself craving human intimacy...

At this moment, our relationship exists...

Attaboy, Hofstadter.

Au contraire, when I correct people, I am raising them up.

Aw, come on. You could figure it out. You're, like, the smartest guy.

Aw, it's just like my grandma with her parrot.

Aw, nuts.

Aw, there's a thing.

Aw.

Aw.

Aye, aye, Mr. Spock.

B, either party is deserving of a hearty handshake after winning a Nobel Prize.

Back at HQ riding a desk

Back home, the diner on Route 4 serves sushi...

Back home, there's a girl works at the Walmart. Tall, tall girl.

Back in bed together.

Balls in the basket.

Bam!

Bam! That's what I'm talking about.

Bam! That's what I'm talking about.

Bareback and bare chested.

Barry, how good of a shot are you?

Bat Signal? What are you, some kind of nerd?

Be a lamb and check.

Be gone.

Be just one of those memories you have

Be sure to check the mail.

Beautiful story. They're in rival drug gangs and they're getting married.

Because a gunshot wound today...

Because a man shows caring for another man...

Because he thinks there is!

Because he's punishing me for being a, quote, "condescending jerk."

Because I can see how that could stick in someone's craw.

Because I have a girlfriend, and you're a single woman...

Because I have an agenda paintball.

Because I'm very, very hungry.

Because if I don't, he won't give my paper to Stephen Hawking.

Because if you did, you get your picture up there on the Wall of Heroes.

Because if you had fun, then you are a winner.

Because it's working.

Because now I'm the dusky half of Kooth****nny.

Because that might lead you

Because the cafeteria doesn't offer little packets of methamphetamine.

Because there wasn't last time.

Because this one wants to marry me.

Because you always say no, and then you eat half my fries.

Because you don't have a girlfriend? If that becomes a reason...

Because you over think everything.

Because you were all, "I want to have your babies""

Because you were convinced North Korean spies

Because you... You never think about it going the other way.

Before an application is released, they give it a trial run.

Before we make any decision about where we live, we have a trial run.

Before you go, consider this:

Before you say something you both regret...

Behold.

Believe it or not, Amy has embarked on a campaign...

Believe me, I know.

Believe me, I really want to.

Bernadette Maryann Rostenkowski Wolowitz.

Bernadette Maryann Rostenkowski...

Bernadette needs to brush her teeth.

Bernadette wants a prenup.

Bernadette wants to get a prenup.

Bernadette, an opportunity has come up...

Bernadette, I found the extra head for the Water Pik...

Bernadette, listen...

Bernadette, on your wedding night, you'll be consummating your marriage.

Bernadette, you are the analytical, scientific left hemisphere.

Bernadette, you look beautiful.

Bernadette, your character is the healer in our group.

Bernadette!

Bernadette...

Bernie, I have to go pick up my mother! I'll be right back!

Besides Mr. D'Onofrio knows exactly how I like my hair done...

Besides, you have nothing to worry about,

Best friends, besties, BFFs, peas in a pod,

Bet you didn't know that I had bongos

Better than James Bond because he's tinier.

Better?

Better?

Between you playing chess like Bobby Fischer...

Big fun. Big, big fun.

Binary coded ASCII: 0110111001101111.

Biologists are mean.

Bird in the apartment. Bird in the apartment.

Bird still there?

Bishop to queen four, level two.

Bleeding from my ears.

Boldly go, Howard Wolowitz.

Bongo solo.

Boo, wine. But, yay, trains. I'm in.

Bordering on the psychotic

BOTH: What?!

Both.

Boy, a restraining order from Stephen Hawking.

Boy, does everyone laugh at you when that happens.

Boy, I don't know if I could be friends with Howie if we broke up.

Boy, I gotta tell you, I'm really disappointed.

Boy, last time I put VapoRub on you, you didn't have hair on your chest.

Boy, oh, boy, this vacation is off to a wonderful start.

Boy, was she wrong.

Boy, you were not liked in high school, were you?

Brent Spiner, what have you done?

Bring him to his bony knees.

Brr.

Buck up, sissy pants.

Bug report. I complimented you. You should take it and shut up.

Buh buh buh buh.

Building houses for the poor.

Burned too bright and too quickly?

But 100 percent of make your own sundae bars end in happiness.

But all my efforts, our dinner schedule, my pajama rotation...

But any chance you could not mock my religion while she's here?

But before I do it, if you're a cop, you have to tell me, right?

But before we get their hopes up...

But before you do, let me just ask you a big picture question.

But by the time my class got out there,

But deep down inside...

But don't worry, he won't shoot it. It's more of a fashion statement.

But don't you think it'll be different when the child is ours?

But face it, you're a mess.

But for my friends, let's say 250.

But he chose instead to expand his mind and learn something new.

But he never showed...

But I also can't be Sergeant Cooper,

But I apologized.

But I can't deal with the fact

But I can't see you.

But I can't watch the closed captioning without crying.

But I couldn't get any other boys to join...

But I do... No, no, I knew what I was getting into.

But I don't know if I should, because I'm going out with Priya, but she's in India.

But I guess we all kind of were.

But I had him add clothes because it was an unnecessary challenge...

But I hate those movies.

But I see your point.

But I think I can pull it off. Well done, Penny.

But I understand your confusion as I am our group's resident cutup.

But I worked hard to get this armor, heh.

But I wouldn't have because I'm not that kind of girl. We should really talk to Raj.

But I'm a guest in your home...

But I'm going to disregard it,

But I'm going to make an exception here.

But I'm leaving in two days.

But if he starts to get real quiet...

But if I come out of this looking like a dork, it's on you.

But if I don't come into work, what am I supposed to do?

But if you did, you'd open yourself

But if you get him to go jogging, it'll just pour out of his nose.

But in exchange, I'd like you to do a few things for me.

But it also has an interesting secondary use.

But it kind of lives and dies with you.

But it says 8 a.m.

But it was actually a set up...

But it's done, it's never gonna happen again...

But it's not a spine, I'll tell you that.

But just because you've got some carbon with the atoms stacked neatly...

But like the flag over Fort Sumter, I'm still here.

But look at me now.

But mark my words, this frustrating bogus teenage make out session is not over.

But no cops. Be cool.

But none of those things matter because we have something better.

But out of curiosity, what is a way?

But Penny has her number if you wanna text her and get together.

But Priya's gonna be calling any minute, so...

But remember, like me...

But she might think I think it's a date, even though I don't.

But she was nuts. So in a way...

But Sheldon's gonna go with you!

But somehow as I sat there...

But sometimes it's fun to creep yourself out thinking about it.

But that rings hollow if you can't lord him over others in the flesh.

But that's a little hard to do when you're always being such a toolbag.

But the money's pretty good.

But the question remains, by how much?

But then I heard about your astronaut thing...

But then you and I had some time together.

But they do move more sluggishly when it's cold.

But this is just biology, so it's no problem for a genius like you.

But this is not a date.

But this? Lame o.

But through no one's fault, Penny...

But way better, because he rides a giant parrot.

But we both think you shouldn't marry this woman.

But we want cake now.

But what about the wedding...

But what I really want her to know is that the guy that she's disgusted by...

But when I do something for you, you show a little appreciation.

But whoever that mystery man was, you should be eternally grateful...

But you should know, that's not a comment on your hotness...

But...

Buzz Lightyear is not real.

Buzzinga, I don't.

Buzzinga, punk. Now we're even.

By all means. Yeah, when I was a boy, I would polish my Mee Maw's silver.

By letting him buy you a bunch of expensive things.

By myself.

By the by, I liked it too.

By the power vested in us by the state of California...

Bye.

C, moral support during flu shots."

Can I ask you a question about women?

Can I borrow that movie?

Can I have tea with honey and toast with the crust cut off?

Can I help you find anything?

Can I pour you some wine? I think you'll enjoy it.

Can I say I ruined you for white men?

Can I stay at your place for a few nights?

Can I talk to Penny?

Can I tell my doctor? I'm probably gonna need shots!

Can one of you give this nutbag a ride later?

Can we? Stand back...

Can you believe grown men sit around and play with toy trains? Heh.

Can you explain why a brilliant man likes playing with toy trains?

Can you recommend a gift?

Can't be very long.

Can't believe this is only 64 calories.

Can't complain, thanks for asking.

Can't do it on your own, you need someone to take care of you.

Can't figure out what to do? I remember those days.

Can't help a friend out in a time of need, huh?

Can't help it. My Howie wowie has an owie. Ha, ha.

Can't we open one up and take a look?

Can't you just enjoy the wonder?

Candles? During a blackout? Are you mad? That's a fire hazard.

Captain Sheldon Cooper.

Careful, you're using too much Downy.

Careful. It's a trick question.

Careful. It's that kind of sass that can get a person uninvited...

Chair.

Change your clothes, we got a lot riding on this.

Channel set baguettes, 20 points total weight.

Check it out, Bernadette. Suede boots. Your size.

Check it out, still in the bags. The gowns, not the bridesmaids.

Check it out.

Check it out. Free chair.

Check it out. It's the gas I use in my laser to support high voltages.

Check it out. Jim Lee drew this of me two years ago at Comic Con.

Check it out. Press release. From NASA.

Check this out. I got Sheldon to wear the French maid's costume.

Check.

Checked the tire pressure on the car.

Cheers.

Chicken broth.

Cholera is water borne. You're mocking me.

Christian Quarterly gave it Five thorny crowns.

Clearly you've never been to brunch with my cousins.

Clever, but also wrong.

Click. Thanks, Penny.

Close enough.

Close your eyes. Put out your hand. I got you something special.

Close. Really French it.

Cluck. Cluck. Cluck. What are we, ladies at a quilting bee?

Coffee.

Coins lodged in body parts is not a source of amusement.