Archer (2009) - Season 6 Edit

A that was Latin. He knows.

A bee flew in it and I crashed.

A bee flew into aconvertible?

A border moat? ...Is if she had her grandmother's name.

A democratically elected government somewhere?

A farm! Exactly!

A great big, jerky giant asshole.

A high speed chase ended in a crash,

A hundred thousand. Mm hm.

A light year's a unit of length, dipshit.

A lot less time and money at gas stations.

A marquise, a vicomtesse, the two princess sisters,

A more scenic route.

A negress? Gigantic.

A powerful negress giant, Fawad entered the boudoir

A problem with your tranquilizer gun.

A thousand pardons. Foolish woman! Where is a bathroom?

A thousand times no.

A top secret military installation in their underwear!

Abbiejean. That's from where, again?

About chopping off their hands

About like you'd expect, from Archer.

About the hot tub incident, the better!

About the rest the furnishings.

About what just happened,

Acceptable behavior?

Actually I don't know how you feel Lana, because I didn't make out with Katya!

Actually wait, hang on. What?

Actually, there is one other thing.

After all these years, and I can't risk losing her again.

After being miniaturized the Nereus with the mission

After being miniaturized, the Nereus and its crew will...

After he makes a formal protest at the U.N. tomorrow,

Again, it was my grandmother's name.

Agh, they must think we're bacterium!

Ah Mm...

Ah, damn you!

Ah!

Ah.

Ah...

Ahh!

Ahh!

Ahh! The day Archer finally gets what's been coming to him

Airlock purged.

Al? Jazeera!

All boasting priceless grueby faience tilework,

All clear.

All clear. Commence initialization sequence.

All I needed was an airplane!

All kidding aside, though, the house does have

All my research...

All my years of work! It's all gone!

All of a sudden I'm talking to a total stranger!

All right, Archer, you have to be sure not to let the laser detach the thrombus

All right, so now listen

All right! You knew this?

All that muscle fiber, out there,

All these years.

All this time, even though we fought like cats and a very tall dog,

Already was, so

Alright, we're in, purging airloc

Alrighty then! I think I'm sufficiently drunk enough, so...

Alrighty, I think that's got it. Nurse, would you close for me?

Also you're just a reconstructed light field,

Also, my parents aren't big drinkers?

Also, that's a bit reductionist.

Although I might be thinking of the Jetsons' maid.

Although it's probably because they found that poor kid you clobbered.

Although she didn't look like a Back Dorothy.

Although that being said... Hyahh!

Although you're right.

Although, I do think we both learned that

Am I right?

Am I supposed to know what that means, or...?

An opinion apparently shared by the staff

And

And how?

And a car comes and bounces you out into the intersection

And a closed mouth. How about that?

And a little known fact

And after that disaster, you'd all better get used to being hungry.

And after we're done here, well

And all of my good markers.

And also alive, and not crushed and then burned to death

And also because it seems like the prudent course of action.

And also no offense, but you're tiny.

And also physically. What the ?

And also please let me out

And also, shitty operation name.

And Archer, remember, do not let the leukocytes touch you.

And as far as I'm concerned,

And as you may or may not know,

And B we just have to laser our way into one of these veins here.

And besides, I don't think Ray's hand is the one that's racist.

And besides, they obviously set us up.

And C: even if, god forbid something happens to you,

And can I bring anything? Let's say sevenish,

And Carol, here's the deal let me guess. You're all butt hurt

And could you please not drive my Mustang

And Daddy, when they crash,

And devour every single cell you're made of.

And don't be shitty, Archer, you dick

And even though it's kinda hard for me to admit it,

And everyone's Kickstarter has merit.

And get acquainted with that bad boy.

And get Krieger and Ray on your way out.

And get your mildew back

And he'll install a nitrous tank,

And he's nice and I said that already,

And her stilettos, and her lingerie, and her big, fat,

And his pathological need to sleep

And how big was Li'l Hamlet when you finally had to get rid of him?

And I accept your apology, but, honey,

And I also heard you raving about how insane Katya's body was!

And I am embarrassed to say

And I assume Branson is some sort of all one cares to eat establishment?

And I can just see you two running into each other on the stairs.

And I can't wait to hear her flimsy excuse this time.

And I don't know that we're accomplishing as much as we could be right now.

And I guess that someone is me.

And I realize now that I should have invited you to the family reunion, so

And I should not have volunteered for this.

And I suppose that makes you Who the hell are you?

And I think I've earned that right.

And I was counting on that commission, and now the homeowners

And I will check on... that hot tub.

And I'd say, we've got about

And I'll kick in five more. Wow.

And I'll tell you guys all about it over beers

And I'm actually pretty great at it.

And I'm really liking her nanny

And I'm sure my feet are the same, Lana.

And if it's a barbecue, are the Kanes a brisket crowd,

And in any of them was anyone on board any submarine weightless?

And in process, I lose my own life!

And in the end what do you have to show for it?

And into something... Dry?

And it starts dragging you out into the city at night.

And Julia gluey Dreyfus over there.

And just to reiterate,

And just when their anger reaches a fever pitch,

And Lana, I swear I didn't call Katya. I just came home and there she was.

And Lem, obviously the implicit agreement between you and I,

And loving, which he wasn't before.

And maybe I didn't go to some other med school,

And me and Krieger are all about going to Branson! Booyah!

And meat the exact size and shape of dice. Which

And no memory at all of the previous few minutes.

And not bosonic string theory, then

And not that it's any of your business, lieutenant...

And not to knock the air force, but...

And now that we're all skyclad, as they say,

And obviously thank you, too.

And oh, by the way...

And one of us would go pretty much anywhere to piss off your mother.

And our Lupus is an openly gay cyborg

And permanently ending your checkered careers as intelligence agents.

And real estate is a lot cheaper out in the desert.

And refresh my memory, starboard is

And remember, you have to make sure

And second of all I was talking about our argument and how now you realize

And second of all...

And sew on my robot hand?

And she is...

And she was just like rubbing all over me.

And since we only have...

And so even though I'll always have a special place for you

And so he's in the city looking for suitable accommodations,

And so it's ready to be made smaller.

And so what, he needs bodyguards?

And so you work your whole life for something, for a cause,

And so, beckoned by the servant,

And soon became a man...

And spying for whom, exactly?

And still is. Presumably.

And thank you for volunteering for this mission.

And that his last name was Colonel.

And that, my dear earthlings,

And that's how they all died.

And that's how you ask? Wait, Pam? Is that you?

And that's what your car uses for food.

And the Oh, my God!

And the CIA disavows us, and we're blacklisted

And the flrrp get shitty on rib eyes and scotch.

And the only by product of burning it, is water.

And the piggly wiggly,

And the prince is on his way there.

And the sack thrown into the river.

And then well, you know the rest.

And then even if I did want Lana back which I don't

And then hopefully a lifetime to be with him.

And then I shall speedily return for

And then one day soon, maybe you're shaving,

And then to realize you might actually be in love

And then we started going out again, and somehow it's...

And then we'll have 60 seconds to do all the scans

And then wherever the town is,

And then, bzz zap!

And those hands aren't doing her any favors, human size wise.

And to this.

And uh, don't take this the wrong way, but

And use this portable laser

And we can reach the clot in time! How?

And we need to get to the carotid artery,

And we told her to invite you, but

And we've reason to believe

And what are you wearing?

And when they died, they turned into oil, somehow,

And when we find these American pigs,

And when we saw the damaged vehicle

And where are you two going? Up there, to gawk at TV's Michael Gray.

And while we're doing that, I could do with a whole lot less shit from you,

And why are your plans always so complicated?

And why is he driving? I should be driving!

And why would she just show up?

And why?

And why'd you give me a walkie talkie? Why do you care?

And yes, you can bring 100 copies of this.

And you are so big.

And you find out it has a mind of its own.

And you get the shit T boned out of ya.

And you threw 'em out!

And you want me to wire a thousand dollars

And you wanted to make Archer jealous...

And, frankly, it's none of our b

And, he's still totally in love with me. Wha'?

And, in the near future, you may be spending

And, we're taking these razor sharp tungsten knitting needles with us.

And?

And... I'm sure he's just... caught in traffic.

And/or his mother...

Anthony? After Susan B.!

Any and all flash drives,

Aorta, common carotid artery...

Apparently without any kind of backup whatsoever?

Archer

Archer won't risk his relationship with Lana

Archer, focus. We've got less than 40 minutes to deminiaturization!

Archer, I am not driving to Scotland

Archer, I think the less said

Archer, listen to me,

Archer, look out! Wh ?

Archer, passport.

Archer, we're the size of a bacteria

Archer, we've only got 57 minutes

Archer, you look like shit.

Archer! Okay! Lana!

Archer... Um..

Are all the cameras in bathrooms?

Are connected to secret passages?

Are like jeezy petes!

Are taking the house off the market.

Are we gonna die?

Are we not even gonna address how amazing that shot was?

Are you frickin' serious?

Are you in position? Yes?

Are you joking or insane? Do you really expect me to believe

Are you quite literally insane? Sorry.

Are you serious? Oh, my God

Are you shitting me? Everybody knows about Area 51!

Aren't they already pretty small?

Around in this Kovacs guy, in the submarine...

As a replacement for fossil fuels!

As close to the blood clot as possible.

As I'm sure Your Majesty well knows.

As if I wouldn't feed you. Now who wants a wittle ice chip?

As usual, walkin' around in your

As well as

Asmodeus, destroyer of men.

At an air force base in the Nevada desert.

At Columbia.

At fight club, like, all the time!

At least until I can find a way

At our first wedding I saved your life from Barry,

At the nearest titty bar, my treat.

Attaboy, shake it off. Bet you probably just have brain

Authentication checks out, sir. Says here he's Agent Slater.

Aw, shush and push!

B but you believe me, don't you?

B: Ava Jean could do a lot worse for a guardian.

Back in a sec,

Bacterium.

Bathroom four, bathroom five

Bathroom one, bathroom two, bathroom three,

Bathroom six, bathroom seven, bathr

Bathroom! Please, Your Majesty! I cannot wait!

Bathroom? What?

Be a lamb and watch the baby?

Be careful what you wish for!

Bears. Turret ready.

Beat 'em off hold them off,

Because before I shoot this MI5 asshole, I'm gonna have to shoot the both of you.

Because even a first year phrenology student

Because everybody! Because Berkeley!

Because forgetting, for the moment, that Dr. Kovacs will die

Because I call it smoochy boochy town. Uh hmm?

Because I choose to get in the closet. Come on, Gort.

Because I said so! How is your American accent?

Because I thought that's what they wanted!

Because I've had sex with a baroness,

Because if you think the Middle East is messed up now,

Because in less than 14 hours, you're all going to be miniaturized

Because it's just de icing fluid and Tang.

Because Lana hired some ****stani dude to shoot you,

Because look around!

Because Mr. Archer would feed you your own bones!

Because my parents think I'm still working on my PhD...

Because now I probably have nerve damage.

Because one of us needed

Because right about now,

Because she always stows away somehow, as do Figgis and Dr. Krieger,

Because since defecting to the West 20 years ago,

Because thanks to your latest fiasco,

Because the CIA is trying to protect the royal family.

Because then she would tell them we told her,

Because they don't have my brands, I don't even recognize most of these.

Because they're not crazy about this whole arrangement, so

Because this all used to be Jewtown.

Because this is only my parents meeting their grandchild.

Because this is what you would get.

Because this time It's really kinda good, right?

Because we're not terrorists. We're freedom fighters.

Because who gets in a hot tub naked

Because who takes 15 minutes to put on a damn wetsuit?

Because yes.

Because you can't argue with the truth!

Because you could've been a great scientist, Lana!

Because you no longer exist in my world.

Because, Dr. Kane, your research has jeopardized

Because, Slater, there's a

Because, you ding dong, our bait car hooker

Because, you peawit,

Because...

Because... you'll never have what she and I had.

Before he wakes up with no side effects

Before the process wears off and we revert to normal size.

Before we begin,

Begin deminiatur

Bend you back over the mop sink?

Besides fly the goddamn plane?

Besides, Branson isn't just country music!

Best I can do.

Better yet, a woman who has a powerful psychological hold over Archer.

Big whoop?

Billy Batson, from "the Shazam/Isis hour?"

Black site, pretty icky stuff.

Blood vessels bursting in your eyes. I said stop.

Blorp.

Blorp.

Blorp.

Both of his handprints, and both of his retinas.

Both! And I've heard every joke!

Bow chicka dow dow...

Brian. I should give him a call.

Bridge is online and we are ready for miniaturization process, over.

Bring it, Sommersby.

Bringing us to the formal dining room, which seats 80,

Brisket. Lame.

Brownsville's just the name, dip nuts.

Bullitt, we know, and if you'd go already,

Bullshit, the CIA doesn't have that technolo

Bullshit. Firing in three! Two!

Bullshit. Firing in three! Two!

Burn!

Burn.

Burn. Shut up.

Burn. What?

But so, is there a steakhouse around?

But a threesome and then a break up?

But all things considered,

But apparently there is, and before you ask, the answer is no, Carol.

But before he could radio your tower for permission to land, boom!

But before I can tranquilize him,

But besides that, this is the happiest I've been in a while!

But enough about you. Am I right?

But everybody else in the room

But guns are actually pretty expensive

But he is the father of your child.

But here I am with the old Archer. Wha'

But how does it work, this... process?

But I brought a couple joints.

But I do have some conditions.

But I don't want to risk my life on shady missions

But I kicked total ass in zero gravity, so I think I should be in charge.

But I need you to do me a big favor.

But I thought you and Lana were kinda, you know...

But I won't be joining you,

But I wouldn't wanna dust it!

But I'd also appreciate it

But I've changed, Katya. I've changed.

But it wasn't my talent, Daddy...

But it's actually pronounced Doctor Kane.

But just between us three,

But just between us three,

But nothing happened?

But obviously, the car would be a vagina.

But Pam, come on. The prostitutes on this website

But seriously, Ray. Don't dick around with the air force.

But thank you for reminding him

But the African American thing? Nope, no idea.

But then again, you slept with him at our second wedding, which kinda

But there's no need to be racist.

But they don't know, they haven't seen you in a year.

But this time, I think I definitely prefer the carrot.

But wait a minute! Love to, can't,

But wait. If it's a kidnapping

But we will destroy the clot with the Nereus.

But we're behind schedule, thanks to...

But while you check on that,

But who needs ice?

But you got to go now! She'll be here any second.

But you know what they say about stress.

But you must.

But you prefer her to me?

But you're a father now

But, Archer, somebody has to watch your back.

But, before we go back to the States

But, but, but but but but English?

But, seriously, what's wrong with him?

But, spoiler alert,

By a secret military tribunal and summarily executed.

By far.

By Ra's al Ghul before returning to destroy

C'mon, anybody?

C'mon, let's go. Gun's out, buns out.

C'mon!

Can somebody explain to me why the CIA

Can someone please get that child some food!

Can we have a show of hands? Who thinks this is getting out of hand?

Can you help me up...

Can you imagine what this will mean to Big Oil? Or OPEC?

Can, can can we talk for a second? About what happened?

Carol, hey, shut up. I need your help.

Case in point.

Case in point.

Cause you got no freaking hand, stupid!

Cheryl should be leading the Durhanis into...

Christ, is she always this angry?

Chto?

Claudette? I'm in here,

Clear? Yes! Yes?

Click. Now I'm done.

Click. Now I'm done.

Close enough. Okay, let's light this candle.

Closet rampage!

Colonel. Lieutenant Colonel, but during transport of these prisoners

Come in dear, what're you doing? Come in here.

Come on, it's like 30 bucks a glass.

Come on, it's New York. I bet it's 20,000 hookers here.

Come on!

Come, you foolish woman!

Come! Let's get this over with

Coming up on 12 minutes.

Coming, My Majesty!

Coming, Your Majesty!

Commence miniaturization in ten...

Compliments of the CIA and MK Ultra. Jesus Christ...

Compromising situations with other women.

Control, I think we're ready to start

Cooking, and so when he got out he went to culinary school and now he's got

Copy that, Figgis Newton. What?

Copy that, navigation.

Could have misconstrued the situation,

Could see that this man... is a cold blooded murderer.

Could you help me in here, please?

Could you send up 1,500 poorly trained Cuban exiles?

Cowgirl? Wheelbarrow? Butter churn?

Cucumber water bidets!

Cyril, I either can't or merely don't want to talk right now, so

Cyril, I should worry about all kinds of shit.

Cyril, shut up

Cyril! Archer.

Cyril! What?

Cyril? You gotta... What?

Cyril's gotta... tell you something.

Da ah! At second wedding. Oh. Right.

Da, baby, ya tozhe.

Da? Yes. This is Colonel Kazanova.

Daddy, floor.

Daddy, no!

Daddy, of course it's America.

Daddy, tell us about your research.

Daddy! Lana, the man may be a total idiot,

Daddy... Look, the man's an ass bucket.

Dahlink, I do not understand.

Dammit, Archer!

Dammit, gimme another eyedropper!

Dammit, I was gonna say that.

Dammit, Michael Gray, it's bad enough

Dammit. Okay, get ready for the extraction.

Damn it! So do we tell them?

Damn it.

Damn, Gina.

Damn. Because I'm not chipping in 2,000 bucks.

Darling, are you all right? Yeah. I'm fine.

David, come and have the bloody toast or I'm throwing it in the bloody bin.

David.

David.

Debbie, yeah.

Dibs on captain. Dibs on driving!

Did did ow!

Did I... misread th

Did someone else just barge in here yelling their idiot head off about being with the CIA?

Did you guys see that?

Did you just now have telephone call? No!

Did you suddenly go blind?

Did your dick get bigger?

Didn't his get bigger? Nope. His feet got smaller.

Differently abled, whatever!

Dinner? Tonight? My place? I'll cook.

Dirtnap for the kraut! Compliments of old Sparky.

Do not shoot!

Do you have online banking?

Doctor, please tell me that Nereus was injected into Kovacs?

Does this look like the brain to you?

Doesn't cover prosthetic limbs! Really?

Dollars. Mm.

Don't be an idiot. Also, I must go to America.

Don't do that. Nope.

Don't know what to say, Sterling.

Don't shoot!

Don't shoot!

Don't shoot! Hands up, everybody!

Don't undermine it!

Done here, at our romantic fairytale getaway where you

Down to the size of bacteria and injected into Dr. Kovacs.

Dr. Kovacs conceived and built

Dr. Kovacs has been developing a top secret process

Duh.

Dyffryn Thebwys. It was a town in Wales that had stood proudly for a thousand

Dying of sepsis in a wheelbarrow!

Earballs.

Easy Will you shut up?

Easy, bro. Wales is kickass!

Easy, easy!

Easy...

Easy...

Eat that, you stupid macrophage!

Eep! And a deep, hard wired

Eh, could be a coincidence. Yeah, like just a fire drill.

Eh, could be a coincidence. Yeah, like just a fire drill.

Eh, I thought by now I'd be doing a lot better

Ehh. Shut up

Especially if it's claustrophobic,

Etcetera, etcetera mashed potatoes!

Even can die.

Even human beings.

Even the one down in Grenada,

Even when you make stupid, stupid, stupid choices,

Ever works in espionage again.

Every month, for the rest of your life.

Every month? Well, Mr. Slater, I

Everybody else, these are your mission dossiers.

Ew, no! Lady, you've got problems.

Ew, that's not even what it's about.

Ew! Shh!

Ew.

Ew.

Ew.

Eww! Eww!

Eww. Ugh.

Exactly, that's what I'm Wait, what?

Exactly, the silent killer.

Exactly.

Except every single time you're at a red light

Except maybe bears.

Exciting, huh?

Extra person

Extremely uncool.

Eyedropper!

Eyedropper!

Fancy pantsy Ivy League med school,

Farm to table, he meant to say. He's a chef.

Farm to table, you know. Trying to get back to basics.

Fawad, habibi, I shall meet you upstairs momentarily.

Fifty? Pff!

Fine! Then I'll just get my own ice!

First we need to cover some basics.

Flight time to Branson is about three hours.

Flurp! Wait, no; zurp!

For a man like him, it's all about the hunt.

For a previous conquest especially a prostitute!

For all I know, we're wanted for treason again.

For being so racist about your hand! Wh ? Racist?

For example, this is a tranquilizer gun,

For lettin' my self loathing about my ever increasing bionics

For molecular miniaturization.

For science and miracles.

For the deplorable state of the house.

For the Organization of Petroleum Exporting Countries racist?

For this.

For those assholes at the CIA

For thousands of years, physicians have dreamed

For what, safely landing the plane?

For which you would be tried and convicted

For years to come,

Fossil fuels?

Four, three,

Freaking out, so I thought let's go somewhere neutral, you know? Talk things out.

Freeze!

From balcony Oh, right!

From excitement!

From now on, no eggs, no pigs' feet,

From terror, but I was always so afraid

From the artery wall. The last thing we want is an embolism.

From what? Cabals.

George and Lennie here out of the country because they're wanted by MI5?

Get back to the ship, you asshole!

Get in closer, I can't see jack dick!

Get out of the plane now! Let's go, let's move!

Get out the plane! Put your hands up!

Get out!

Get ready how? We don't even know if the sub is in his tear duct yet!

Get your shit together, Lem!

Girl with a pearl necklace.

Glad I didn't waste suitcase space on that barrel of monkeys.

Glengoolie: for the best of times.

Go see about that. Okay. Pam and crazy glue,

Go, go, go, go!

Go! But speaking of McQueen,

Go! Okay! Hang on!

Goat, swear to Christ, I'll

God

God dammit!

God damn it, Michael!

God damn it!

God damn you all to hell!

God damn! Wireless?

God, I will be glad when this is over

God, these people. Always "me, me, me

Goddammit!

Goddammit.

Goddamn it, look, I was just trying to get home from Vegas.

Goddamn it! Can you please shut up

Goddamn it! Stop sexually harassing me!

Goddamn it.

Goddamn it. Everybody hang on!

Goddamn, who is it? Cancer?

Good help is difficult to find,

Good luck, I've got negative one bars.

Good morning, ladies and gentlemen.

Good thing you guys have airplanes.

Good, get off, keep this channel open.

Goofy G**** then, whatever!

Goosebumps...

Got a pussy to break.

Got new houses somewhere else and well, in many cases, much nicer ones.

Great, now we can all suffocate.

Great, now you've made the baby cry.

Great.

Great. Maybe on the way, we can stop off down the piggly wiggly.

Gua !

Guards!

Guess I better put these away

Guess we didn't make it...

Guys, c'mon, there's no dumb ideas.

Guys, I really feel like we should be doing something.

Guys, it's okay, I

Guys, this is, this is the the car from

Ha!

Hand, legs, feet. I am a monster!

Hang on, before we call her, are we sure we want to do this?

Hang on, shut up, I have something for this...

Hang on!

Hang on! Make him beg!

Happy? What, like in general?

Hard to port!

Hard to port!

Hard to starboard!

Has to be hotter than Lana.

Have you ever seen a submarine movie?

Have your hide as boots and the rest of you as a curry! Go on, shoo!

He can straighten this whole thing out!

He just got a summer internship on Wall Street...

He was up there. Yeah.

He what?

He's 21! I think!

He's a culinary bad boy!

He's actually pretty great at it.

He's got a weapon! He's got a weapon! Gun!

He's had the clap so many times

He's not nude.

He's the prince of Durhan, an allied country.

Heap of bitchin', and second of all, hang on.

Heir to the throne of the Kingdom of Durhan.

Hello dear, drink? Uh, no?

Hello, front desk? Watergate Hotel?

Hello, human giant. And follow up question: why the hell are you here?

Hello, lady.

Hello!

Hello? Anybody? What the Ray?

Hello? Please.

Hello? Prince?

Hello. Hello? Son of a...

Help! Get it off!

Her Majesty, Queen Yasmin Fawaz.

Here, both of you. Get your fat mouths around some hot, crispy toast.

Here, let me get some pics of you!

Here! Go! Move!

Here.

Here. And if you want to save yourself some trips,

Hey, guys. Drop it! I said drop it!

Hey, I know, let's, um uh teabag Dr. Seuss.

Hey, one of those leukocyte things just blobbed all over the windshield

Hey, pretty girl...

Hey, somebody roll that guy around. He's... smoldering.

Hey, speaking of Lana and positions...

Hey, watch it! Ow! Man, I can't see it!

Hey, where's Lana? What the

Hey, whoa. It may be a bit rundown,

Hey, yeah, toss out all your empties, that will get rid of some weight, huh?

Hey, you guys wanna take my needles?

Hey, you.

Hey! Hi!

Hey! If anybody tells mother about this, I'll

Hey! Now come on. She's not What?

Hey. C'mon, now. You could never let us down, honey.

Hippocrates, Galen, Percival, Sharpe.

His left foot? Oh, well that's good, right?

His miniaturization process lives on

His research is going extremely well.

His wife fell in love with him when he came back because he was caring

Hm? Yes? Over?

Hm.

Hm. And how about that chandelier, huh?

Hmm? Oh she's fine. She's used to it.

Hmm? What's that? No, we won't be needing any air cover.

Hmm? What's that? No, we won't be needing any air cover.

Hmm. He could have walked here by now.

Hmm. How about now?

Hmm. Okay, so we get a woman

Hmm. What is?

Hmm. You know what I think would be wonderful?

Hmph! Well, Agent Slater!

Ho ho haw oh.

Ho, ho, ho, holy shitsnacks!

Hochschiebens! Yeah, let's all have a hochschieben!

Hold your what? Uh

Holy shit, I'm surprised nobody's killed you already.

Holy shit, like in scanners?

Holy shit, we're gonna make it!

Holy snacrophages.

Home to the greatest mind in the history of mankind,

Honestly don't care.

Honey, forget about fossil fuels.

Honey! I do, because we did. I mean if this weren't a romantic getaway,

Hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot...

Hot!

Hot. Actually almost too hot, now that you, um

How about just put to sleep?

How about telling me why the hell you carry a gun?

How are you holding up, buddy? With regard to

How can we help you find out where we are?

How could you just throw away your God given talent?

How dare you?

How did you get on the no fly list?

How do you not you're head of H.R.!

How do you not know about Branson?

How is it?

How is that possibly good?

How is this funny?

How noble. Well, no, I'd still bitch about it.

How the hell did you run out of gas?

How this super top secret shrink ray works?

How wonderful.

How would that possibly help?

Huh.

Huh.

Huh. I was wondering how many rounds this little guy held...

Hush puppies are little balls of fried cornmeal batter.

Hush! Here we go, people!

I

I dammit, I had something for this

I holy shit, that's right, it's the CIA! I've got Q clearance!

I how you say, uh "dump" Barry.

I I hope you know that.

I I seem to see that...

I No, as a matter of fact I don't think it's a good opportunity to

I No.

I Oh, and christen her in a white church,

I Pam, I saw a blinding white flash, that's it. No E.T., no Alf...

I Unless I sound like Lana,

I wait, what about Lana and the prince?

I Well, I thought I could, but I honestly don't know if I can.

I yeah. Uh. I'm sorry for that... time. Zzz.

I yes, but

I accept your apology.

I actually have some thoughts on that.

I actually haven't seen him in, like, weeks

I am dead serious.

I am talking about Pam and Krieger running around

I am, it's just

I am!

I am... Butler.

I assume you have an officer's club? Yep.

I assumed it was bound to happen,

I bet the royal palace is lousy with them.

I bet. May I kiss you good bye, Sterling?

I can probably find it from there.

I can see how you you, Archer,

I can! And if anybody's not over anybody, it's you!

I can't even formulate a response to that!

I can't remember when I was this happy!

I couldn't ever tell you how I felt.

I couldn't keep my work at the lab.

I did not have this.

I did not just schlep my ass up your jillion idiot stairs

I didn't know you were a fan of early crossover mainstream hip hop.

I didn't pick it.

I do apologize for this necessary precaution,

I do think he's actually dying, though.

I do.

I don't even know where Woodhouse is.

I don't give a shit who Archer bangs.

I don't have to suppress my gag reflex now

I don't know but I think we're pretty close. What?

I don't know what's wrong, but I need to

I don't know, Archer. The little things.

I don't know, whatever! Trust!

I don't know. It's pretty big. I think it's just the

I don't know. Maybe we could do something like one of those bait cars?

I don't know. Something else.

I don't think a selfie would be appropriate.

I don't think so. Is that a thing?

I don't want him alone without

I dunno, I Oh, my god, Pam,

I feel I feel like

I found a way to use it as bio fuel!

I got a cousin in the Air Force.

I gotta get outta here!

I guess I had that coming, huh?

I guess maybe Malory could be her... middle name?

I guess the same reason I don't know what grits are, or... hush puppies!

I have a child to raise.

I have a kid!

I have absolutely no response to that.

I have been longing for your tender touch.

I have had it! Oh, and by the way,

I hope to God it's at least for America!

I I'm sorry. I didn't see the child.

I knew you wouldn't understand!

I know

I know how far light travels in vacuum in a Julian year.

I know how to do it... be weightless.

I know you better sit your ass down before I slam an Easy Spirit up it.

I know you think you're invincible.

I know, and me neither. This is all uncharted territory for me.

I know, Daddy. I know.

I know, sorry, but the elevator's out,

I know!

I love, is is salty. It's like caviar.

I mean so what?

I mean for one thing, I'd never need to.

I mean like, you know, like, people are always like, you know.

I mean this place is right out of a fairytale.

I mean, how do you not murder her every day?

I mean, I feel like a brand new man!

I mean, if it means that much to you

I mean, in the dark it's like Eubie Blake's reaching out for you, but

I mean, it's either that or... Ssss...

I mean, look at you. I literally cannot believe I'm asking you to go.

I mean, no, but wait. You slept with Barry at our wedding!

I mean, probably today, but

I mean, she's tall, but a lot of that's the boots, and the hair

I mean... what about "That's what she said"? Can we at least do that?

I mean... yes?

I might as well go eat with Cyril. At least he can cook stir fry.

I need access to the prince, so

I need to go see what's going on... It's God's wrath!

I need to scan any and all of his mobile phones,

I need to talk to you about something important.

I really think you and I should have a nice, long talk.

I said, hang on.

I said, ready on that laser?

I say, pardon me. Madam. Hello?

I see I have some fans in the audience.

I seem to have fallen.

I shouldn't even have yarn.

I swear to sweet Jesus... Okay, Julia Childish.

I think I can land it! But I gotta... put it down... at Nellis!

I think I would have heard of it!

I think it actually causes her physical pain.

I think it's Mr. Archer. Hello?

I think it's quite batshit insane!

I think it's quite generous.

I think maybe you're confusing

I think perhaps both? Ideally?

I think Ray deserves a hand.

I think sometimes you oversell it, buddy.

I think these uniforms are awesome!

I think this'll really help sell it.

I think we've got ourselves a deal.

I think you might be my best friend.

I think you really should apologize to Lana. For what?

I thought by now I'd be dead.

I thought that guy was a lieutenant,

I told you idiots that wasn't the real famous Ray's!

I totally was.

I used to beat this bitch's ass

I used to hate it!

I wanna fly the plane!

I wanna fly the train!

I wanna thank you, for trying to save

I want to make one thing perfectly clear to all of you.

I was being polite!

I was gonna ask you to.

I was gonna say 50/50.

I was gonna say Pam's vagina. Me too.

I was just asking myself the same

I was mad because it's a robot hand,

I was talking about Ray. Seriously, you're like filet o' man.

I was trying to familiarize myself with the human body, Slater.

I wasn't going to sit around the office all by myself!

I will escort His Highness upstairs via...

I will miss you. Very much.

I will not I cannot ride the bus.

I will personally ensure that none of you

I will put that refrigerator out by the curb.

I will, if you shut up!

I will! And if I find out you gave her diet pills, Mother, no kidding,

I would have him sewn into a burlap sack filled with rats,

I wouldn't even pay $2,000 to get myself laid.

I, that, my, I you know my name?

I... Oh my God! Cyril, are you jealous?

I'd be happy if you could transform

I'd be happy if you could transform

I'd even take Rootin' Tootin' Raspberry.

I'd have you flown to a CIA black site

I'll be seein' you two later...

I'll be thinking of you the next... several times I have sex with Lana.

I'll get a sitter for A.J

I'm actually gonna hop out, so

I'm actually kinda nervous. Ugh.

I'm afraid we need to press on.

I'm an American.

I'm cooking. Me, Lana. Me. Me!

I'm gonna count to three!

I'm listening. Go ahead, baby.

I'm not ashamed.

I'm not in the mood for right now

I'm not selling you the naming rights, Malory!

I'm not sure which end needs attention,

I'm not talking about Miss Archer!

I'm not the old Archer. I'm the new Archer!

I'm obviously still furious about

I'm pretty sure there's a fireplace.

I'm ready to make a million dollars.

I'm sensing a little sarcasm.

I'm sorry, I think one of us must have just suffered a massive stroke.

I'm sorry, I think you mean figur Literally.

I'm sorry, what was that?

I'm sorry, Your Majesty,

I'm sorry?

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I should've finished that thought.

I'm sorry...

I'm sure Sterling has everything well in hand.

I'm totally over Lana, so... Cyril!

I'm well aware of at whom I'm angry!

I'm... so... sah hah hah hah reee...

I've always got everything.

I've been working on miniaturization for years,

I've changed, Lana. Please, you're halfway to half in the bag

I've decided to let Ray drive.

I've done it, like, a million times

I've had astronaut training.

I've never worn a condom, ever,

I've really changed!

Idiot? Who kept his life's work in his frickin' house,

If by "hyperspace"

If I wanted to hear you people scream,

If I was a clone of Adolf goddamn Hitler,

If I were not on the no fly list.

If I were to make a list of things

If it please Your Majesty, take the elevator.

If it's gonna be that kind of party,

If not the universe.

If our electrolytes get out of balance

If that is shocking to you, so be it.

If that is shocking to you, so be it.

If that is shocking to you, then so be it.

If that! Jesus...

If there was ever a time to wear the Tactleneck

If there's been a murder in the house

If they find out the CIA was behind this,

If they spill even a single drop,

If this were my palace, I'd

If we don't laser that blood clot, how With the laser,

If we don't, Downing Street will know the CIA's bankrolling the Free Wales Army!

If we're the size of a tiny germ...

If you didn't make eye contact,

If you look out the left side of the cabin

If you're done trying to win votes for class clown...

If you're not in position,

If you're using my bathroom, you're gonna need an obitu

If your people fail

Imaginary womp rats in my imaginary T 16 back home?

In a grain silo. Presumably.

In a remote location with plenty of parking,

In a very short time in which to do it,

In environmental science. What?

In fact, first thing tomorrow,

In grotesque and horrific parodies of Mentos ads.

In Morocco and listen to your torture session on speakerphone!

In my apartment. In America!

In my heart, and obviously in my slide show, I Your what?

In not only the history of mankind but also perhaps its future.

In the damn street?

In the memory banks of the supercomputer...

In the old friend department.

In the rush van, it's way too iconic.

In the study!

In the syringe, which the robot will now gently transport

In three! Two! Wait!

In walks Figgis.

In which case I nominate Ray Pitcher.

In which case, I guess try to remember

Inappropes, honey.

Includes the entire kama sutra... Wow! Okay.

Indeed. Well slapped, His Majesty.

Inject you with a tranquilizer, drive you to a private airfield, put you

Inside my lover's own body.

Internal carotid artery, and then...

Into a hangar, and steal an Air Force plane!

Into Jackson Bostwick!

Into the cerebrospinal fluid at the base of Dr. Kovacs' skull.

Into the lungs, pulmonary veins,

Into the surgical theater,

Is a bit awkward, to leave from balcony.

Is actually harboring extra terrestrial life forms

Is because you're not over me?

Is Crown prince Fawad Fawaz,

Is indistinguishable from magic.

Is it?

Is spying on American allies?

Is that at no time will our penises touch,

Is that bad?

Is that if a servant dared speak to me in my palace,

Is that supposed to be better?

Is that we'll be going between three and four miles an hour.

Is that you? Yeah, I need

Is the key to understanding the entire universe.

Is the very embodiment of Arthur C. Clarke's third law,

Is there a vagina in the sink!

Is there enough time to make it to the clot,

Is this true?

Is! But not as insane as your mind!

Isn't this just so relaxing?

It actually might've been an A minus.

It appears you're in Kovacs' left foot.

It appears you're in Kovacs' left foot.

It can't possibly taste good, so

It doesn't break free from the

It doesn't matter. I I feel like I just found Lana

It doesn't miniaturize molecules.

It goes off for, like, no reason.

It had everything but a sign for free bird seed,

It is a sign of weakness.

It is absolutely not the same principle.

It is crucial that the injection be as close to the blood clot as humanly...

It means destruction of the thrombus.

It means get naked.

It means they'll slowly turn your entire body inside out

It was empty anyway.

It was in the crew locker. I think it looks pretty sharp.

It was injected into Dr. Kovacs, but not at the injection site.

It was, it it it Just slap him.

It would be the ultimate cuckold

It wouldn't matter!

It'll be an international incident!

It's a force of pure evil,

It's algae.

It's all good.

It's basically the old float and gloat

It's basically the old zrrp and flrrp.

It's dirtier. No, bring the burrito. Oh, my, God!

It's easy not to bang your ex if she's gone all frump a dump.

It's in all the newspapers.

It's insane, like, every time now.

It's just that I don't believe that I personally..

It's leukocytes! White blood cells!

It's more like applause.

It's not about the money.

It's not, "meet my future husband."

It's not, I was just gonna tell you

It's obvious what we have to do with him.

It's only a matter of time before you're out there

It's only the biggest country music tourist destination in the world!

It's perfectly fine without ice.

It's potentially worth billions!

It's probably not the smartest idea I've ever had.

It's the same principle!

It's this new thing called cat like reflexes?

It's what, painfully obvious

It's where the government keeps all the aliens that have crashed on earth

Jeeps! Gimme two jeeps up here, on the double! Jeeps, goddamn it, jeeps!

Jeez! Ow!

Jesus Christ, Ray, do something!

Jesus Christ!

Jesus H. Christ, Ray!

Jesus, my ear balls!

Jesus, use your talking words! Just slap her.

Jesus, Woodhouse really is gone, huh?

Just a unitard with the systems of the human body on it.

Just an ulcer and you, dear...

Just ask Europe. Lana?

Just cats at first. But once the hand gets a taste for killing,

Just crash the sub and kill them, Cyril.

Just do regular brain surgery without a shrink ray?

Just get in that closet over there and take Lurch with you.

Just keep eyedroppering out his tears and moving them into the hangar!

Just kidding.

Just like Jesse Owens!

Just like they sprayed on Duddy Kravitz in "Close Encounters"!

Just Slater, for the "infinitieth" time.

Just the way you like 'em

Just think if I ever worked out.

Just to be safe, because I am gonna burn you down!

Just to make Lana jealous?

Just wait until nobody needs their oil.

Keep a lookout while I zrrp the clot.

Kid, c'mon, I mean, I know I've been crushing the post natal yoga, but

Kidnapping an MI5 agent?

Killing not only Dr. Kovacs,

Kind of amazing, really.

Kinda worried he's gonna kill himself.

Kinda, you know, what? What'd she say?

Krieger out!

Krieger, hush! Pam? You have a plan?

Krieger, I am in no mood. Now, get dressed.

Krieger, shut up! And you, get them out of there.

Krieger! Everybody! Calm down!

Krieger... asshole...

Ladling turtle soup into sterling silver bowls,

Lana and the prince, you idiot!

Lana can speak for herself. Yup.

Lana Cougar Mellencamp! What?

Lana Kane? The giant negress?

Lana, come on! Zona peligrosa!

Lana, come on. Whose life through no, or sometimes maybe moderate fault

Lana, he's the one ashamed of his hand's heritage, not me.

Lana, I've never had a death wish.

Lana, it's okay, you can say "family."

Lana, it's TV's Michael Gray.

Lana, once I meet them, I'm sure they'll find me

Lana, please don't go in there because I still love you.

Lana, this is all just crazy, why does he have a gun?

Lana, what is the meaning of this?

Lana, what's more important than blasting

Lana, why the hell do you have a gun?

Lana!

Lana! It's like it's like

Lana! What? What the shit?

Lana? How does that make you feel?

Lana's hogging the copier.

Larger penis probably didn't hurt.

Laser turret, prepare for thrombolysis.

Last night in Paris, someone...

Lazy, lazy, fatty fatty gaijin! Whee!

Leaving two Welsh terrorists basically at large, or

Left atrium, mitral valve,

Left ventricle, aortic valve,

Lefty Lemon? Lana, this is serious.

Leg hurts.

Lem, let's try to avoid using sarcasm. I wasn't.

Lem, what was the special thing?

Lemme hold yours while you reload me.

Length. I hey ya know what?

Leonard H. Bones McCoy type of role, or...

Let me have my grandbaby!

Let's get shrunked up already!

Let's uh, make it a pitcher. Uh, we don't even have pitchers.

Leukocytes!

Lieutenant Colonel who? What?

Lieutenant Colonel who.

Like a complete ass bucket!

Like him. Aww.

Like I'm gonna shoot you?

Like Stir Friday. You're right, Cyril.

Like that time Rocky went to Russia.

Like that time Rocky went to Russia.

Like three hundred shit covered pounds

Like we used to do in the Belgian Congo.

Like what? Like... uh...

Like what's her face at work.

Like, six.

Like, three times.

Like...it was literally a pot.

Little zinger about walking, or

Lloyd Llewellyn.

Long story short, these days

Long story, funny story,

Look around, we are surrounded by

Look at him! He's a child!

Look here, Archer, I've told you about my research.

Look in on the children.

Look look, there's a bright light!

Look, count to whatever you want.

Look, for all we know, Slater wants all that stuff

Look, I'm a sexual being.

Look, look, look, look! Here comes Lana!

Look, our marriage is on the rocks, and also I have two Michelin tires, so

Looking around the position,

Make up for all the idiot Archer shit you pulled over the past 24 hours?

Make you think I'm a racist!

Making the jump to hyperspace?

Malory it was, he And why are you taking Sterling's side?

Man, I wish.

Man, you guys are so big picture...

Manually operated elevators!

Mark!

Mark! Ah!

Mary Tyler Moore's Lou Grant.

Maybe by having her fog a mirror.

Maybe I should work on my timing.

Maybe Krieger can get you some black bionic legs

Maybe later I'll dress up like Steve McQueen for you!

Maybe rinse out a little trash can.

Maybe that's because I don't care that you're dating Lana,

Maybe the CIA should do a Kickstarter.

Maybe the propulsion system is, too.

Maybe we can live on all the prize money she wins as a competitive eater.

Maybe. And maybe since it's Friday, Cyril,

Me and Lana?

Me too

Me too, actually,

Me too. I was gonna say "Pam's vagina."

Me, Lana, you and TV's Michael Gray, double date

Medieval Slavic History.

Meemo. Check obituaries.

Meemo. Tell Woodhouse to buy newspap damn!

Messrs. Kilgour, French, Stanbury, Turnbull and Asser... not so much.

Michael...

Mind you, do not tarry.

Miniaturization complete, over.

Miniaturization in five minutes.

Miniaturization in...

Miniaturization will begin in 30 minutes.

Miniaturization will begin in 60 minutes.

Miss... Oh, uh

Mission control to Nereus, over.

Mission control, this is Nereus.

Mission Control, what is our twenty?

Mm, no, I think he's all set there...

Mm. Hispanic?

Mm. Not really, though.

Mm...

Mm... Brownsville?

Mm... no, "excited" is actually the exact word I would have cho

Mmkay.

Mmm, that's not though. Holy shit.

Mmm! Das ist lecker, no?

Moaning Lisa.

Mom, it's fine

More like most handsome

More like what he said. Katya, please.

More like what he wants to get into,

More mature, maybe? And definitely more focused on me.

Mother, please!

Mother, she's a goddamn baby! No, I have to go so

Mother, this sounds like a win win.

Mother! Silence!

Mother! Woman, I will kill you where you stand!

Must be for Cyril. No! It's

My bad. That was on me.

My commission is gonna be huge!

My cordwainer would have said something.

My dad's research, and even though

My data, my notes! All my samples!

My last name is Escrow. Really?

My mom, Claudette, is a professor of public policy at U.C. Berkeley,

My name is Bardsley. I'm with MI5

My point... is maybe you should worry about what's gonna happen to us

My sincere apologies, Your Majesty,

Navigation systems are online.

Nereus to mission control

Nereus to Mission Control, over!

Nereus, this is Mission Control

Never apologize.

New Archer...

Nice and easy...

Nine, eight, seven...

No I don't! Yeah, you do.

No ice. Not a cube.

No it isn't! Shut up! And in the meantime,

No no no, don't let him

No no no, wait! I have Q clearance!

No offense.

No opinion. Well, not even as it applies to the rise

No parade, no statue, no medal of freedom,

No shit, that's my third biggest fear.

No songs of heroic deeds...

No way, you're just gonna frag me!

No you're not. Gillette is the pilot, and Cyril is the co pilot

No, Archer, it's great! Somehow.

No, but Beard McBoggeyes over there will

No, but seriously, Cyril. Cut some limes.

No, Daddy, Archer should drive.

No, first you take a bite of mine. Let's do it together.

No, I just wanna make sure we're both totally clear about this.

No, I need you guys to Keep this channel open!

No, I'm actually...

No, in a general sense. Look!

No, it's cool. I got it, Woodhouse.

No, it's like me cooking you dinner

No, my darling. It is I! Katya?

No, no, no, no, I will not listen,

No, no, no, no, no!

No, not because of African Americans.

No, nothing. Well, except for the goodbye kiss

No, phew!

No, please, I feel like the asshole.

No, please! You can't blacklist us.

No, she might not... approve.

No, that's just a feedback loop.

No, that's just a feedback loop.

No, then they'd have to kill us.

No, this is good.

No, wait, you can't

No, wait. Oh, hang on.

No, we can just go with crippled..

No, you just figured it would make me jealous,

No, you're my smoochy boochy.

No, you're my smoochy boochy.

No!

No! And if you tell them I am, I will literally murder you

No! Daddy's been working on Lana

No! Ew!

No! For the love of God, man,

No! No, this is absolutely not that trademark character.

No! Stop it! Look, I'm serious. Just radio Lieutenant Colonel.

No! The solution to every problem isn't throwing frickin' acid on it!

No! Wait!

No! You guys! I swear, they were

No! You stupid idiot!

No?

No? I suppose you'd prefer a nice big bottle of that liquid butter fat.

No? Nobody?

No? You don't have a pun based

No.

No. I get it.

No. I'll drink it neat.

No. Just my faves.

No. No. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait! C'mon, I really need your help.

No. Ray!

No. That'll just be icing

No. To both.

No. You do not talk.

Nobody's guessing who's coming to dinner.

Nonsense. You stay right there.

Nope. because you're taking your time as well.

Not a word from the CIA since you idiots ruined the mission

Not as hard as I would've thought.

Not because it's black!

Not dick, Pam, stick. Carrot and stick!

Not great.

Not in my Mustang, you don't!

Not in position. Well, where the hell is she?

Not like that what is wrong with you people?

Not like you haven't dreamed about it...

Not now, Archer, I'm

Not outside a casino, so...

Not sure if that's related, or...

Not sure what happened there, but oh, my gosh! And Dom Pérignon?

Not that. Although what the shit?

Not the part about the queen being into anal sex. Who knows?

Not today, gorgeous, not today.

Not us, I meant sleepy Floyd here.

Nothing bad's gonna...

Nothing I could do could ever compare to the sensual pleasures

Nothing pickled,

Nothing.

Now as you may or may not know, Dr. Kovacs and I are lovers.

Now hard to starboard!

Now on my mark, hard to port! And that's ?

Now then, we have an assignment,

Now, if you will follow me, into the

Now, if your assorted majesties and highnesses will please follow me...

Now, is anyone allergic to ocelots?

Now, what're you doin' bowling bowlin' balls

Now's the perfect time...

O'Dublin tequila? I mean vodka, maybe.

Obvious? Because she'd try to break us up somehow

Obviously I would never, ever do that for any sort of sexual assaulty reason.

Obviously in "the Brian Keith show."

Of a farmhouse in Virginia somewhere, out of your mind on LSD,

Of course you may, absolutely,

Of having the power to see what we've been given the chance to

Of his generation.

Of letting you and Mom down, that I

Of modern Serbian nationalism? Mm... nope.

Of phagocytosis by polymorphonuclear leukocytes?

Of the most powerful laxative known to man.

Oh but you will, Miss Unwed Mother.

Oh good heavens. Wow.

Oh ho. Right. Gotta be tough, huh?

Oh my god, "Operation Petticoat,"

Oh my God, and I promise to try not to get into

Oh my God, I bet it's nerve gas!

Oh my God, I'm glad you asked.

Oh my God, Michael, it's over.

Oh my god, Slim Goodbody.

Oh no no no no, we wouldn't do dat,

Oh no? You didn't jam your fat tongue down her throat on that goodbye kiss?

Oh now... come on. You're not a monster,

Oh now... come on. You're not a monster,

Oh so I'm good enough to drive y'all around?

Oh wait. Aw crap, this is totally nine!

Oh wow, great. So when we're traversing the occipital lobe,

Oh yeah? Which part?

Oh, all right, she can have...

Oh, and do they have flowerpot bread?

Oh, and one more, like, "tiny thing."

Oh, baby, it is all over everything.

Oh, boy.

Oh, but if you were the murderer...

Oh, come on, now.

Oh, come on, we were all thinking it...

Oh, did they find me utterly charming?

Oh, duh...

Oh, eat several dicks, Slater!

Oh, for the they know who it is!

Oh, fuck you.

Oh, God, there's so much we never had time to...

Oh, God...

Oh, goddammit Lemuel!

Oh, ho. Very high in cholesterol. Caviar.

Oh, holy shit, I got to make stir fry

Oh, honey, I'm talking about your studies.

Oh, I can promise you, it is not dry.

Oh, I don't know. Was someone else making out with Frodo P. Gryffindor here,

Oh, I forgot something in bathroom. I'll mail it to you.

Oh, I just had to see you, darling.

Oh, I was just preparing.

Oh, it is hot, Lem. Can I call you Lem?

Oh, Lana. You have made a beautiful baby.

Oh, man, I don't want to sound greedy,

Oh, money. Holy shit.

Oh, my God Duh hoi.

Oh, my God,

Oh, my God, are you shitting me?

Oh, my God, baby. I think it's working.

Oh, my God, can you believe this?

Oh, my God, chilaquiles?

Oh, my God, I could do this all day.

Oh, my God, if anybody's jealous, it's you.

Oh, my God, Lana.

Oh, my God, okay...

Oh, my God, we're gonna die.

Oh, my God!

Oh, my God!

Oh, my God!

Oh, my God! Hey! Shut up!

Oh, my God. Cyril, shut up.

Oh, my God. I'm glad I'm not a woman.

Oh, my God. So what exactly are you wanted by MI5 for?

Oh, my God...

Oh, my God...

Oh, my God... my research!

Oh, my God... Seriously,

Oh, my God... What?

Oh, please, you people invented racism.

Oh, right, our ugliest president.

Oh, right.

Oh, shit. And even less than that until we're out of oxygen.

Oh, shit...

Oh, shut up, and unless there's anything else,

Oh, so you believe the United States government

Oh, sorry, let me back up.

Oh, sorry, Mikey Mike...

Oh, tell him no, never mind.

Oh, thank you! Thank you, God!

Oh, that's it.

Oh, that's right, Babou!

Oh, that's what that means?

Oh, then Ray's right. And also, duh.

Oh, well, then let's get you out of these wet clothes,

Oh, whoo!

Oh, yeah she's good, great actually,

Oh, yes, and everyone deserves a trophy just for showing up,

Oh, yes, I do. Come on, just the tip.

Oh, you little

Oh, you're already sorry, I didn't know what the deal was, if you

Oh, you're going to explain lying to me and your mother all these years.

Oh!

Oh! Goddamn it. Ya think?

Oh! Or that you were that strong.

Oh.

Oh. Because it totally seemed like

Oh. I thought it was a type of wizard.

Oh. I was gonna say "yes."

Oh. Look who's here!

Oh. So just curious, what happened between your bedroom and right now?

Oh. So, here's the thing with that...

Oh. Still, though... So we have to pay a hooker up front

Oh. Well, I know my feet are the same.

Oh... now...

Okay Cyril, here comes the optic nerve!

Okay if everyone will follow me into the miniaturization chamber,

Okay maybe just help Archer with the laser

Okay people, listen up!

Okay people, listen up! When we go into that vein

Okay people, listen up.

Okay people, you heard the lady.

Okay so, what do we do about this?

Okay, but just so you know,

Okay, but only because I choose to.

Okay, chinstrap, let me see what we got on the other cameras.

Okay, Cyril!

Okay, Cyril?

Okay, door's closed! Hit it!

Okay, everybody in, and make sure you swing by

Okay, fourth biggest, whatever.

Okay, Gillette, now just slip it in

Okay, Gollum, you have won the game of riddles.

Okay, hang on!

Okay, I'm gonna list everything you just said that's totally wrong. A...

Okay, it's gonna sound like I'm hanging up? But

Okay, Lem, I think maybe you're transferring a little.

Okay, let's do this!

Okay, people, I want you in position in five minutes.

Okay, people, listen up.

Okay, people, we have one hour to save Dr. Kovacs

Okay, Randy. Follow my lead.

Okay, so

Okay, so Whoa, whoa, whoa C'mon,

Okay, so obviously we'll need to talk

Okay, so we've got 30 minutes.

Okay, so you put giant magnets in the bumpers of all the cars

Okay, so... Pam.

Okay, sorry, just making sure there's not a third option we haven't

Okay, that was the last one for now.

Okay, there's the blood clot. Fascinating.

Okay, this eyedropper's full!

Okay, this is it...

Okay, where do I send the

Okay, yeah, but besides one nurse, M*A S*H didn't have any black characters.

Okay! Jesus!

Okay. A: you've made that hurtfully clear about a jillion times.

Okay. Lana, you think you can help Dr. Sklodowska

Okay. Now the submarine is in a saline solution

Okay. Ow!

Okay...

On a CIA plane, fly you overnight to Wales and then that brings us to now.

On acceptable behavior?

On my desk by Friday.

On my private jet. Wh ? Yes!

On that CIA plane and let Slater worry about the blowback.

On that hot little prince's merguez.

On the escutcheon of the clandestine services, and

On the wireless. America's going apeshit.

Once he leaves Hilda.

One cocktail onion.

One Michelin star and a marriage that's on the rocks. He's here to go balls deep on

One that Archer's never had sex with. Is there one?

One.

Onto a CIA black site just because he said he knew me?

Ooh, and ice!

Oooh! Whoa, hey, Pam, Ray, come on you two.

Ooooh!

Open the door, please.

Operation Stir Cry day is go, over.

Or a foursome, and I'm the pizza guy?

Or are "we" just...too broken?

Or at a party or just merely walking down the street.

Or boy, or gender fluid,

Or did it?

Or even 1,000. Because I just found out our shitty insurance

Or however you self identify,

Or maybe it was just the syphilis.

Or pulled pork?

Or rather, both, ideally, would be

Or that crazy football movie, but I'm talking about

Or the tissue covering the bionic part, it would be, I guess.

Or vice versa?

Or we could just ask me, the woman who graduated from Harvard Medical School

Or wherever else.

Or wherever.

Or wherever.

Or, both of you shut up.

Or, if you like, a miracle.

Or, so help me God,

Or, you know, a lot of couples break up if their kid dies.

Ostensibly. What?

Otherwise it's pointless. Is it?

Ouch.

Our national security.

Our progress will be tracked in real time

Out of order? I'll show you out of order.

Out of the question!

Over the sound of me thrombolyzing the shit out of that thrombus

Ow, man, what a hate slappin' bitch.

Ow!

Ow!

Ow! Paging Dr. Dickwads.

Ow! What's that?

Pam, goddamn it, I said shut up!

Pam, it's blood. I'm pretty thirsty.

Pam, the truth is out there.

Pam, we are going on a voyage of medical discovery unparalleled

Pam! I think he means telepathy.

Pam! Seriously, get your shit together.

Pardon, but I'm supposed to

Parents are gonna be A.J.'s legal guardians, not Malory.

People from where, dude? Quebec? He's the one who should be in the closet!

People would literally kill for it!

Pff, darf min gehn in kolledj?

Pff, like what, how to build a better anal probe?

Pff, like, three times.

Pff, what is this, Myrtle Beach?

Pff.

Pfff, okay...

Pfff, please.

Phrenology? Who are you, George Combe?

Played by Odessa Cleveland.

Playing Lou Grant in the show Lou Grant,which was also a drama.

Please direct your attention

Please, don't Darryl? Pam?

Please, I have to tell you something.

Please, tell me you don't mean his mother.

Please?

Please. You'd die of marrow poisoning.

Please... someone... Just kill me...

Plus now I have a laser backpack.

Plus TV's Michael Gray is staring right at us.

Plus your hands are too big.

Plus, I've been moonlighting.

Preparing to inject.

Probably because I got two frickin' hands!

Probably something about Paris.

Produced by firing a laser through a beam splitter.

Pssst, Ray. C C Call me.

Pulmonic valve, pulmonary artery,

Q clearance! I've got Q clearance!

Q clearance? We'll see about that

Quote "work some of that fat off her", unquote. I

Ra ay!

Ran with a bad crowd, got into some trouble,

Randy grew up on the wrong side of the tracks,

Ray says he can land us at Nellis!

Ray! Pam!

Ray! Wie geht's?

Ray? Krieger!

Ray. Is this Myrtle Beach? No.

Ray's missing a hand.

Read them on the way to Tunt Manor.

Real life E.T.'s! My God, I hope we find them. I have so many questions!

Real, kinda rugged beauty, you know? It's actually very romantic.

Really wish you'd quit dicking around.

Really?

Really? Ee yah!

Really? Oh, Lana,

Really? Well, that must be fascinating!

Really? Whoa!

Really? Yes, Cyril, I am.

Really? Yes.

Realsies, realsies? Yeah!

Reds Yiddish? Nisht?

Reloading! Archer, cover me!

Remember Deliverance? How the whole valley was gonna

Remember, I always threw up in the car on the way there?

Return! I shall take His Highness,

Right, shit. He knows we're with the CIA, thanks to your fat mouth.

Right, so if he's Archer,

Right, then obviously I've made an extremely embarrassing mistake. So uh

Right!

Right?

Right?

Right? Glengoolie: for the best of times.

Right? I bet their anal technology is light years ahead of mine.

Right. May I just see your passport again, please?

Right. Uh Uh yeah, I'm here to learn about farm tables.

Robotics, computers, video cameras, vehicles,

Roger that, mission control.

Roger that, stupid. You guys ready to make history?

Roger that. Nereus, are you ready?

Romantic fairytale getaway, there's also kind of a work component to it.

Rub it in our faces how we're doomed to be alone.

S sorry.

Say again, Control, what is our twenty?

Scene! No, you ruined it.

Scoop out his whole damn eyeball if you have to!

Second largest collection of carnivorous plants,

Security breach, sector nine.

Security breach. Sector nine.

See what? What's Area 51? What's Area

Serious up.

Seriously, did you have a stroke?

Seriously, I hope he didn't die.

Seriously, is that even a real thing?

Seriously, just yoga? He said, jealously.

Seriously, where do you keep the fruity drink powder?

Seriously?

Seriously?

Seriously?

Seriously?

Seriously?

Seriously? Yeah. Who is it?

Seriously.

Seriously. Come on, Tinker Toy, let's go pound some homemade gin!

Seriously. Maybe try growing a pair.

Seven minutes.

She can get in the battle of the Bulge.

She can't stand for me to be in a relationship.

She has no memory of any of that.

She seems like a normal baby weight.

She weighs exactly as much as she's supposed to, so you better be feeding her!

She'll make them so crazy they'll break up on their own.

She's about to pop out of that onesie

She's actually Polish.

She's basically Groot.

She's fine, she's upstairs, but

She's not a frickin' bowl game!

She's not allowed to go on missions.

Shh! Control, we're hearing some screaming.

Shh! If you stay really, really quiet, I will buy you a puppy

Shh. There's enough room in the world

Shisn tsvey hozn mit eyn shos.

Shit or get off the pot.

Shit, right!

Shit.

Shitter?

Shoo! Sh hit. Shit, shit!

Shoot him.

Should only take 90 seconds,

Should we, uh...

Shoulda gotten some poison ones.

Shut up!

Shut up! Burn!

Shut up! Burn!

Shut up! Okay, little help here, nerm nerts.

Shut up.

Shut up. And my father, Lemuel, is a microbiologist

Shut up. And please... be careful.

Shut up. And what if Kovacs dies,

Shut up. How'd you get Slater's codeword?

Shut up. what's the special thing

Simone, I swear to God, I will rub

Since all I wanted was a ride home!

Since Barry was such a douche.

Since I have CIA clearance and all.

Since they're tungsten, and insanely sharp.

Sir, is there a problem here? Yes! Where the hell have you been?

Six, five... Go, go, go get out of here!

Sixty minutes exactly?

Slater's plan was just Fakakta!

Smooth jazz, rose petals, candles

So are we talking like, a barbecue, or ?

So as much as I'd like to spend the day murdering all of you,

So c'mon, let's go make it rain Pammy.

So can you seriously not even grasp the concept of your own mortality?

So come on! Let's pick a hooker!

So do I! Well, not..

So does anyone have a plan? Anyone?

So get down on the floor, and stay there!

So go get an eyedropper, and for the next 10 minutes

So hey, if you've got this...

So hey, you may not know this, since I assume you get yours for free,

So I can bathe off all this filth and grime.

So I have no idea what our status is.

So I'm not really sure

So if I understand the situation correctly,

So if the blood flow will take us right to the clot,

So if you'll direct your goldfish like attention spans

So instead of trying to undermine the mission...

So is Cheryl

So just calm down, do something with your hands. Cut some limes.

So maybe go do that in the rear.

So no one could see us

So no, just Hebrew.

So no, Miss Poovey,

So not only am I not going to tiny town, now I have to execute a guy?

So okay, here, you can have my weapon.

So on my mark, turn hard to starboard.

So should there be screaming?

So suddenly you don't have a death wish?

So take this unlucky baby...

So thanks to TV's Michael Gray, we're low on oxygen.

So that every car repels every other car

So there would never be any accidents!

So they're in the brain now?

So this time they're going on the mission, so we can contain them.

So unless that farm had a magical talking spider

So wait, how did we get to talking about African American characters on M*A S*H?

So we even have time... to make love.

So we're going there, and because you know the property,

So we're going to this little farm right on the coast. It's remote but it's got this

So we're obviously not in the brain, so

So we're still okay.

So what, you're gonna try to bang the queen

So what's up? W What have you been doing?

So where are we, and follow up

So while you're finding me a new airplane, Air Force guy,

So who's up for Branson?

So why are you messing around with this crazy shrink ray?

So why is it full of you idiots?

So why would you want to go back to being the CIA's

So will you do everyone a favor and relax for once?

So yeah, we shower it up,

So you do believe me?

So you don't have to drive around town like a giant pussy.

So you guys can get away, to Safety

So you went to Vegas, and now you're drunk and broke outside a casino,

So your electrolytes can wait

So your entire career, your entire personal identity as a spy gone.

So your undivided attention is of the utmost...

So, about my PhD...

So, did he say why he keeps giving us these assignments that

So, do you guys do phrasing, or...?

So, guess Pam came through here. Jesus, it's like tracking a bear.

So, hey, do I need to swipe a keycard, or...

So, how are they doing out there?

So, I saw you coming on to Archer

So, if you wanna go ahead and check your account balance?

So, is it possible you two were followed here by MI5?

So, just to be clear,

So, listen.

So, listen...

So, Miss... Uh... Escrow.

So, now we gotta forfeit league night?

So, serious up,

So, tell me: what are your thoughts on the Battle of Kosovo of 1389?

So, that backfired...

So, wait. When did you put all those cameras in his apartment?

So, we have to find a beautiful woman

So? Any news? Um... I had a baby?

So. How's all that going?

So. I don't care what it costs me, financially or self respectfully,

So. Is there a country code, or

So... not great.

So... Slater.

So... the van's downstairs.

So... um...

Some multi engine time for his pilot's license

Some of them are 10,000 a night!

Some of you will be assisting me and/or Miss Tunt.

Someone will just have to go out there in scuba gear

Something befitting the world's richest prince.

Son of a bitch...

Sorry I tried to spit roast your mom.

Sorry that I hurt your feelings.

Sorry, but bitch?

Sorry, gang!

Sorry, I had to get stakeout supplies, and

Sorry.

Sort of thing all the time, so

Speaking of "H", do you see me in a sort of

Speaking of, any word from Slater? No.

Speaking of, do I smell beeswax?

Standard breakfast burrito size. Here, first take a bite of mine.

Standing up for myself! Because maybe I didn't go to some

Starring Pernell Roberts as the titular Trapper John, somehow.

Sterling, I swear to God...

Sterling.

Still though! So now they're all homeless?

Stop it! But wait.

Stop it! She will bring the prince upstairs,

Stop right there! Who are you?

Stop the car.

Stop trying to impress me!

Strangling male prostitutes, and then posing them

Stroke?

Suffocating!

Suit yourself. So. And how is our little Abbiejean?

Summa cum laude. With a minor in Spanish bragging...

Surrounded by muscle fiber...

Swear to God. Last one till dinner.

Swearsies, realsies. I push.

Sweet dash forty four, tender dash nine, hot dash juicy pork chops!

Symbiotic mass of bodily fluids

Ta da!

Ta daa.

Ta take us... with you!

Teacup pig. Oh. Yeah.

Team onboard will be injected into Dr. Kovacs here,

Technically, Lana, I'm floating.

Tell me! Tell me you saw them!

Ten minutes.

Than it should be... 12 percent?

Than you were when you dated the first time.

Thanks for the tampons.

Thanks, Al.

Thanks, and since the laser's all jibbered up...

Thanks, Jill Nye Zrrp.

That airspace is all extremely restricted, so

That amount, direct deposited

That and how chili's not breakfast.

That Archer would find irresistible.

That doesn't give you the right to bully me.

That I have room for only one passenger.

That is now Archer and Lana.

That one doesn't even have skin!

That the reason you try to drag your dick

That was a lifetime of work for my father!

That was insane!

That was you! Lana, here, take the child.

That wasn't me, we're not even moving!

That went about as well as could be expected.

That won't ever happen again. It better not.

That would be second on said list.

That would save like, two seconds!

That you caused a healthy young man to literally

That you will probably accidentally strangle.

That you'd better watch your tone?

That's how does an entire city get a pass

That's a top secret base down there and they've got surface to air missiles, so

That's an aneurysm.

That's going in the slide show!

That's how long it takes blood to cycle through the body, so

That's like an entire...

That's like shooting a cow.

That's normally cock aplenty.

That's not I mean, come on!

That's not even the hand I don't see how that's any of your beeswax!

That's not how we raised you!

That's not shocking at all.

That's not who we are!

That's racist!

That's ridiculous, you have to be naked.

That's what I love about this job!

That's what I'm saying, Cyril. I don't even know if I can make cocktails!

That's what she said, right?

That's what the whole fight was about in the first place, right?

That's why I had to keep my research a secret.

That's your plan? To ram it?

That's, like, a miracle.

The baby! Oh, shit!

The brain!

The butler.

The carrot being an one time payment of $1,000,000 each.

The CIA has given you, so if you refuse or fail this mission,

The CIA? Did you just drop in on your way to overthrow

The comedy stylings of Yakov Smirnoff!

The current owners' eccentric great uncle,

The current owners' eccentric great uncle,

The danger makes it that much hotter!

The Durhani ambassador is being recalled.

The fact that Katya's still crazy hot makes it all the more commendable I didn't bang her!

The first being that you people will no longer be a stain

The first edition of the old Mr. Boston Official Bartender's Guide...

The frickin' brake was on?

The gold ring is yours!

The hot tub incident, and will be, probably,

The information you're about to hear is top secret.

The injection was botched...

The Kane family reunion!

The laser capacitors are damaged!

The magnum opus of what was surely the greatest mind

The only woman Archer ever really cared about besides Lana is...

The only woman Archer ever really cared about besides Lana is...

The part about Archer having sex with the queen,

The potato eaters.

The process can miniaturize anything down to sub microscopic size...

The Rebel Alliance. The Commitments!

The rest of you will be distracting the prince's security team

The same time I did the rest of you know what's good?

The second positive is that even though Dr. Kovacs is dead,

The second that the airlock is clear!

The shame of which drove

The shame of which drove

The ship cannot move

The sooner she learns about cigarettes, the better.

The sub is too small to track with our current technology.

The tams? The dominoes? The embers? They call this "Classic Rock."

The Tang on which I've got dibs, so

The time. The TVA has flooded thousands of Americans out of their homes.

The Tunt Conservatory is home to the world's

The vomit comet.

The weapon! Drop the weapon!

The wife of a duke?

The world renowned conservatory!

The young man in the monitor

The... penis?

Their sullen eyes downcast as grandmamá makes a joke

Then another 60 to the tear duct.

Then can we Carol, I'm assuming all the bedrooms

Then fire at

Then how was he gonna radio the tower?

Then I dunno why this heap of shit's not going faster.

Then I'd go break my pussy off

Then I'm gonna go check on Ray.

Then put her in Archer's path,

Then the blood flow will take us into the inferior vena cava,

Then up through the right atrium,

Then who's steering the ship?

Then why...

Then, we double cross the kidnapper,

Theophilus Tunt, to commit suicide.

There, now that's not so hard, is it?

There, see? Quaint little farmhouse, a cozy little fire going.

There. I said it.

There's Oh, I got a stitch.

There's another one, nine o'clock!

There's no reason to tell Lana about it.

There's the tear duct!

There's this huge man slash baby hunt.

There's Tony Orlando, Charo

They attempted to overpower me, forcing my pilot to make an emergency landing,

They compliment my active lifestyle?

They don't know you're a spy?

They make me sick!

They needed water! So they built a dam and that flooded Dyffryn Thebwys, and

They obviously know their way around a potato, but

They said they wanted to share a special secret with me, so

They think you ran off with a stripper,

They were goat feet,

They will eat their own eyes before we kill them!

They'll just have to make it to his tear duct like we planned.

They're Macrophages.

They're all gonna have I said hunt.

They're in the area, and that one of them is wounded. So we're canvassing all the farms,

They're jingling, baby.

They're probably gonna come out firing,

They're the Free Wales Army, Lana.

They're tungsten. Move.

They've always wanted us to fail. Why would they

Thing to do would be

Things of this nature.

Think you got enough beer? No.

Thinking about some breakfast, am I right?

Thirteen minutes to go...

Thirty seconds.

This doesn't come anywhere close

This is actually why we're here in Wales. To try to save our marriage.

This is all I've ever known, it's Shh!

This is an American icon!

This is because we only have exactly 60 minutes

This is captain Ray Gillette, welcoming you aboard from the flight deck.

This is Dr. Kovacs' brain,

This is gonna be all Daniel Boone.

This is her father.

This is Mission Control, over.

This is my brother, David. Say hello to the lady, David.

This is Nereus, control.

This is part of operation because I said so.

This is the Bay of Pigs, in room 61.

This is the blood clot that threatens to destroy that brain.

This is what I do,

This is, like, the perfect day.

This little pudge pop's going to need all the help

This poor man is both phlegmatic and bilious.

This thing have bombs on it?

This, from the man who just tried

Those weren't pigs' feet.

Those who once betrayed her.

Though all your clothes get burned off, champagne gets jizzed everywhere and her vag

Thoughts?

Three minutes to deminiaturization.

Through every attractive woman you meet

Through this truly awe inspiring process of miniaturization,

Throw acid in their kissy faces.

Throw out the goddamn bowling balls!

Time is a bit of a factor here,

Time to deminiaturization

Time to deminiaturization

Time to deminiaturization 10 minutes.

Time to deminiaturization eight minutes.

Time until miniaturization

Time.

Times, yes. Plural. And I promise you,

Timing.

Tip off the cops he's basically convicted of being German,

Titties ain't gonna fix my car, poovee.

To be found in a greasy wok full of tiny ears of corn

To bump into Archer somewhere and just hope he's never banged her?

To buy an orphanage, and then bulldoze it.

To buy you a plane ticket and a pre flight whore.

To destroy the clot and fend off attacking leukocytes.

To Dr. Kovacs' assistant, Dr. Sklodowska.

To elevator number three, where whats her face should be standing by...

To get from his foot all the way to his brain

To get us back in with the CIA.

To have a threesome with me and my wife?

To literally... have a, um... uh...

To masturbate to?

To Mr. Slater...

To my spec script for Masterpiece Theater. Your what?

To name my kid after you?

To wit, this is Dr. Zoltan Kovacs.

Tonight, I'm gonna make Lana stir fry!

Toss out... everything!

Totally

Totally clear...ly insulting.

Transform into Captain Marvel and save the day?

Trench coat, and lingerie? Why am I in Oh my God, there was a vagina in your sink!

Tricuspid valve, right ventricle,

Trunks, young man, trunks.

Trust is important and

Tunt Manor? That's my house!

Turn around. Now spread your arms.

Turret, are you ready to begin miniaturization? Over

TV's Michael Gray and I were lovers.

TV's Michael Gray is on board, for some reason.

TV's Michael Gray.

Two minutes.

Two restaurants, Lana,

Two, one.

Ugh, affirmative action...

Ugh, are you crippled again?

Ugh, fine, then I'll send money for a stupid train ticket

Ugh, seriously?

Ugh, yes I'll accept the charges.

Ugh! People's bodies are so gross.

Ugh! So pathetic.

Ugh! Yes! Let's get this over with!

Uh and, um, you remember Archer?

Uh He's Israeli! So, just Hebrew. Unless...

Uh huh

Uh huh.

Uh huh.

Uh huh. Oh, what, what, Lana!

Uh, and just so we're clear,

Uh, but this time we're gonna be tiny.

Uh, could be worse.

Uh, darling, there. The champagne.

Uh, darling, you're on fire! Oh, my God. Yeah.

Uh, expensive fire extinguisher.

Uh, is that before or after Krieger sexually assaulted a two twenty outlet?

Uh, kinda seems like a design flaw... We could start drinking it.

Uh, no, I mean because the last time I leave your apartment

Uh, no. I already jumped out.

Uh, no. They're academics!

Uh, so, that's a problem.

Uh, the reason I'm here. We're searching for Welsh terrorists.

Uh, we're going to...

Uh, what conditions?

Uh, what was that?

Uh, what's that?

Uh, yeah, that's actually a good point.

Uh...

Uh... is there a knob for that, or

Uh... The thrombus is the blood clot!

Uhh! The child is sent to Bhutan,

Uhh! Where are you going?

Um, a duchess

Um, Alex, I think my buzzer's broken.

Um, excuse me? Hello?

Um, I guess it's okay,

Um, in every possible way.

Um, okay. So I was engaged to this smoking hot Russian woman.

Um, so... Funny story.

Um...

Um... 'kay...

Um... uh...

Um... yes.

Unauthorized publication or "leaking" of this information

Unbeknownst to me, Lana! Jesus, we've been through this like ten times already.

Under the right conditions, the algae reproduce infinitely,

Understanding and appreciation of men's lacrosse.

Unless the problem is a solution with an overly alkaline pH balance.

Unless you came home? You little scamp!

Unrelated to the telephone call that I just did not receive.

Until 48 minutes from now,

Until the sub reverts back to normal size Killing Dr. Kovacs

Up in weird clothes in a weird car, in Archer, where are we?

Us.

Us. I'm going with you

Very good, Pamela.

Waa!

Wah, porridge, wah...

Wait in front of our very own infant child.

Wait a minute, is this about Cherlene? Who?

Wait, are we gonna make it?

Wait, he's the one they're looking for. Why am I getting in the closet?

Wait, in Le Retour de Martin Guerre,

Wait, nobody's rubbin' off in my face.

Wait, this is actual ice cream.

Wait, was it something about Dukes?

Wait, was she black?

Wait, were they screwing?

Wait, what about you guys?

Wait, what special secret?

Wait, what?

Wait, what? Archer?

Wait, what? It's not nerve gas, you idiots, it's

Wait, what? O2 consumption's about 12 percent higher

Wait, what? Seriously?

Wait, what? What does that even mean?

Wait, what? What the shit?

Wait, what? Yeah,

Wait, what? You don't remember being the number one country singer in America?

Wait, you're breathing though, right?

Wait, your name is Butler, or ?

Wait! No, there's nothing in there.

Wait. What happened?

Wait. What?

Wants, maybe. I wouldn't say "need."

Was Barry's touch not tender? Or

Watch it. Shut up.

We are clearly not in the brain!

We are not murdering an MI5 agent.

We are ready for miniaturization process.

We are ready for miniaturization, over.

We can't. They're way too small.

We cut a hole in his foot,

We didn't know you were there,

We do it every year, it's huge,

We do not have time for this.

We get it.

We go find a sizzler or whatever

We have something very special

We have to go steal a plane from the United States Air Force.

We have to wait for them to tell us their location.

We hire somebody to kidnap their fat, gross baby.

We may never know,

We might even have to use sour mix.

We plant a shitload of dicey evidence in his garage.

We should. From here via the optic nerve

We suspect the Russians... attempted to abduct him.

We will now begin boarding the Nereus.

We'd like to share with you.

We'll always be proud of you, and we'll always love you,

We'll have to rent a new car, but we can drive up to the distillery and

We'll never work in espionage again.

We're bailing!

We're clear? Oh, my God.

We're coming out! Don't shoot!

We're Delta House, the Dirty Dozen,

We're getting devoured by leukocytes!

We're gonna be able to burn money

We're gonna get hit with about ten G's.

We're gonna need some sort of shuttle to...

We're looking good down here, control. All lined up on the injection site.

We're only going one mile an hour!

We're sort of, contractors for the CIA.

We're supposed to help these terrorists who

We're the Bad News Frickin' Bears,

We're the outsiders, the scrappy underdogs!

We're through the heart now,

We're, like, connecting, you know? And I realize that

We've always been best friends.

We've got an enormous amount of information to cover

We've got no time to lose, so here are your mission assignments

We've gotta get rid of some of this weight!

Welcome, all of you,

Well but just, like, out of the blue?

Well A: this mission feels fairly dangerous and totally half cocked.

Well blame these road signs. They don't have any vowels.

Well don't rub it in TV's Michael Gray's face!

Well for starters, he can quit futzing around with the radio and get

Well if we do die, I just want to reiterate that my

Well it makes sense!

Well it was your fat mouth all over him that started this whole thing.

Well maybe she'll die.

Well plus, he is TV's Michael Gray.

Well since we don't have all day...

Well slapped, Your Majesty.

Well thank you, Cyril. I was just angry, now I'm confused and angry.

Well that somebody's not gonna be A.J.'s mother,

Well the M*A S*H connection is obvious, perhaps even painfully so,

Well then I accept your non apology.

Well then let's just get this limey bastard

Well then would you open for me?

Well there's a carrot and a stick here,

Well they'll find out soon enough. And in the meantime,

Well too bad, because he... went to... live on a...

Well we'll just see about that...

Well we'll see about that.

Well what, Cyril? Yes, obviously I'm gonna go after them...

Well yeah, and obviously I talked to my mother of god, you mean you.

Well you obviously don't understand the situation,

Well you were hysterical, Lana, so I thought the best

Well you won't bleed him, you won't cup him,

Well, algae is always challenging!

Well, allegedly, but

Well, and "the Brian Keith show."

Well, and also shoes.

Well, Archer, the first thing you're doing is making a very stiff drink.

Well, at least as we understand it.

Well, cheer up, buddy.

Well, dammit! I'll have to disclose that!

Well, day's not over...

Well, even if I'm not family...

Well, everybody thinks that, but

Well, first of all, I think you mean

Well, good bye...

Well, hooray. Give yourself a hand. You know what?

Well, I and Ron can afford it and

Well, I assume they needed a large building

Well, I can tell you right now,

Well, I don't know about God's wrath, but

Well, I don't know about that!

Well, I gotta hand it to you...

Well, I guess technically it's fanfic.

Well, I hate to say it, but you were right.

Well, I have also changed. My new operating system

Well, I hope you're all pleased

Well, I just figured you'd wanna know.

Well, I think we've made some real progress here,

Well, I was gonna say vagina.

Well, I was saying that look at

Well, if you fed her, like you said you did,

Well, in the immortal words of Wendell Stamps,

Well, just in case I don't read this...

Well, Lana's feeding the baby. How is it?

Well, let's see how they like having a laser beam blasted up...

Well, look, I can't speak for Archer And yet

Well, maybe a little closer.

Well, maybe instead of worrying about what cocktails to make

Well, maybe now, but a few more weeks without that hand...

Well, neither did I,

Well, no news is good news.

Well, no. They were compensated, so they

Well, nothing, but See? Classic Lana!

Well, nudity is our natural state.

Well, nudity is our natural state.

Well, obviously that's not worth a hundred thousand dollars, but

Well, our airspace, for starters, right?

Well, plus I'm pretty thirsty.

Well, Ray, there were these things called dinosaurs,

Well, relative to Krieger's asshole.

Well, robotically possible, I guess.

Well, she's not in here,

Well, since apparently we're seeing other people now

Well, some people can't help it!

Well, sorry I'm hazy on the details of what happened right before I was drugged

Well, technically anything's breakfast, if it's your first meal of the day.

Well, thanks.

Well, that backfired.

Well, that counts me out. Me too.

Well, the speakers are obviously the

Well, then go get a few more bottles out of the fridge

Well, then, I don't know what to tell you.

Well, there's no need to be racist. How is the acronym

Well, unless the mission is a softball game

Well, we could ask Wikipedia...

Well, we sort of both

Well, we were all thinkin' it.

Well, we're assuming they are

Well, wh Why are you in my bathroom?

Well, what do you want me to do,

Well, what should I call him? A shoemaker?

Well, whatever it is, for some reason

Well, whatever then... Parsecs.

Well, who's gonna put 'em up, Lana? Hey! Whoa.

Well, yeah, no, but if you did,

Well, you better hope I get all this shit scanned before he wakes

Well, you say that... So tell us what to do,

Well, you sound surprised, darling.

Well, you're not missing much.

Well, your face. And Ray's, I guess.

Well?

Well?

Well?

Well? Are we bailing or not?

Well? Are we just gonna sit here?

Well? Are you just gonna stand there and gloat?

Well...

Well... then I've wasted my life.

Well... you're not gonna like 'em.

Welsh terrorists? Is there even such a thing?

Went to juvie. Uh, he worked in the mess hall there, fell in love with

Wh ?

Wh ? Cyril! Can you see where we're going with your head up your ass?

Wh ? How is that polite?

Wh ? Not you, Pam

Wh ? Stop! Goddamn it, I said no!

Wha God damn it, Woodhouse, you stack of bones,

What about all these bowling balls?

What about Cheryl?

What about Ray? He can't come, he's crippled.

What about the algae, so we don't have to burn

What about them?

What about you? Don't worry about me.

What am I even doing here?

What am I, this map?

What are the odds Mr. Archer already banged whichever one we pick?

What are the rest of us gonna be doing?

What are we going to do for money?

What are you It's the same country, Lloyd!

What are you doing?

What are you idiots doing here?

What are you talking about?

What are you talking about? Uh you were

What did I darling, wait!

What did I tell you, wench? Ow!

What do I always tell you?

What do you mean, he's crippled?

What do you think?

What happened to you?

What happened to your van? We can't stake out Archer's apartment

What I know, you impudent toad,

What I'm trying to say is, you were different

What if we don't consent to be Dr. Shrinkered?

What if we grease the tires?

What in the ? Lana Anthony Kane!

What in the name of sweet jiminy Christ do you think you're doing?

What in the... Mother?

What is going on with you?

What is he talking about?

What is important is getting me home.

What is insane is the CIA stealing my father's research, Slater!

What is it you're studying? Umm...

What is it, does she need to be fed?

What is the matter, darling? Are you not excited to see your Katya?

What is this, like a word scramble?

What problem?

What the

What the Freeze!

What the ?

What the ? Hey don't look at me, I'm not

What the ? Slater?

What the ? Where the hell is my tranquilizer gun?

What the heck got into him?

What the hell are you people doing?

What the hell are you talking about?

What the hell happened?

What the hell, Krieger, did you shove your dick in a socket?

What the hell?

What the hell's the air force spending all those kajillions of dollars on?

What the shit? What's that?

What the shit? Where are we? Where is AJ?

What was that? Sorry, I couldn't hear you

What, aiding our ally's enemies?

What, like that cancels out getting it shot down in the first place?

What, like, butt sex?

What, on the floor? Are you serious?

What, seriously?

What, to flood a bunch of other people out of their homes?

What?

What?

What?

What?

What? After I made all these copies?

What? God Damn it!

What? I that I mean, even if that were technically true, it's

What? I just heard you get hard.

What? Mikey Mike!

What? No, why would we want those?

What? No. They're both

What? Oh, come on!

What? Out o' order.

What? Randy doesn't wear nerd goggles!

What? Sex

What? That.

What? Then why are you in here?

What? Wait, what?

What? What do you mean? How?

What? What is wrong with you?

What? What Tang?

What? What?

What? What?

What? What's that?

What? Who?

What? Who? Agent Slater.

What? Why is he even still here?

What? Yeah, because even for us

What? Yes, you ding dongs!

What're we doing?

What're you Archer, if you bail on this mission,

What's that? I couldn't hear you over the sound of

What's the catch? The catch

What's the deal with this algae?

What's wrong, why aren't they moving?

What's your authentication phrase?

Whatever feet, idiot!

Whats yer face, Pam, what's your

When he's not busy ejaculating.

When in reality you are literally climbing the walls

When the sub reverts back to normal

When they find out you're not Slater!

When they're supposed to be prisoners!

When this is over,

When you're the biggest kid in the schoolyard, if your little

Whenever you mention your cordwainer.

Where Archer and Lana are waiting to bring him to me

Where are we? Seriously, what is this, the Shire?

Where even are we?

Where even are we?

Where for the next 20 years, she's raised and trained as an assassin

Where Gillette should be ready with a transdermal solution

Where I am right now, so

Where is everybody? Here! Present!

Where isn't a bathroom?

Where it will prepare to inject the solution

Where the missiles are coming from? It's either that or frickin' crash!

Where, in your belly?

Where's A.J.?

Where's Lana? I'm not even a hundred percent sure

Whew!

Which here are your flyers. Yeah, I actually don't need them.

Which brings us to my problem,

Which I think you'll agree,

Which is also the word I think you're looking for

Which is more than I can say for most of your sexual partners!

Which is where you also shouldn't be!

Which left him in a coma with a blood clot in his brain.

Which matters because?

Which part? Keep it up, Stumplestiltskin.

Which states that any sufficiently advanced technology

Which was definitely NSF Wales, if you know what I mean.

Which was my fallback, but whatever.

Which was obviously an operational failure on our end.

Which would also be great...

Which would be great...

Which, boy! Talk about an acquired taste, huh?

Which, by law I'm required to tell you,

Which, coincidentally, is also your problem.

Which, come to think of it,

Which, I assume, was delicious.

Which, I mean yeah, exactly, and if I spoke Hebrew I would ask him.

Which, obviously, is why we can't tell mother we're dating again.

Which, obviously, the queen's vagina.

Which...

Which...

Which... what's the story on that?

Which...it was all Slater's fault.

Whichever part of the leukocyte is the asshole

While every single atom and molecule in your body is being destroyed?

While I focus on the two positive aspects of this debacle,

Who Archer's never had sex with. Or

Who else would I be spying for? How should I know?

Who has an entire submarine with no damn talcum powder on board?

Who I honestly think just gave me a hernia.

Who I hope to see on my next BLT!

Who is hang on

Who knows with her? A tapeworm?

Who knows? Their radio's damaged

Who later had a guest spot as a nurse on Trapper John, M.D.

Who may or may not have been a robot.

Who might be up for the Nobel Prize. Holy shit.

Who obviously we paid with easily traceable gold certificates.

Who was that? Who was who?

Whoa, hang on, what're you doing?

Whoa, not cool, dude.

Whoa, shit. Damn.

Whoa, Whoa.

Whoa!

Whoa! Yeah, dude, not cool.

Whoa. Oh, my God.

Whoa. Wait. Already?

Whoo! Suck it, you... dick stairs.

Why are you in your spreefs?

Why are you telling me your plan to not make Lana jealous?

Why aren't you in position?

Why bother? Excuse me?

Why can't you use the women's?

Why do you constantly antagonize him?

Why do you have a gun? What, seriously?

Why does he have a gun?

Why is he here? What? Are you kidding me?

Why is she still hungry?

Why is the door open? That's weird.

Why would anybody want mildew? Algae!

Why would I be offen

Why would there be Tang?

Why would you wanna work for those Ivy League white shoe D.C. pricks?

Why you ask?

Why you're using that pissy tone with me

Why?

Will be piloting the Nereus.

Will somebody do something?

Will we have enough time to reach the extraction point on his tear duct?

Will you explain that to me later?

With a baby in the house?

With a baby in the house?

With a focus on feminist issues. Yikes

With a kidnapped MI5 agent in the back

With a laser backpack.

With an almost complete stranger?

With every woman he meets does the rest.

With goldilockses with hot, young bodies and daddy issues."

With his racist robot monster hand!

With plenty of room for servants to skulk around,

With the Durhani royal family.

With the shrink ray and the ship, and everything in it

With which I will dart the prince,

With your your your your your

With your best friend who also happens to be the mother of your child

With yourselves...

Without the prince or his security team's knowledge,

Women throwing themselves at

Won't ya, Krieger?

Woo hoo!

Woo!

Woo! Shrinky dink that!

Woo! That's us!

Woodhouse?

Woodhouse? Woodhouse!

Would be an act of high treason,

Would be what my vagina refers to as a "win win."

Would I be doing this? Mmm!

Would take, like literally one minute.

Would we? No, dat's a meanie bo beanie...

Wouldn't I look like Adolf goddamn Hitler?

Wow, all right, this is pretty embarrassing.

Wow, guess it does just take a minute.

Wow, I had no idea there was a "no train" list.

Wow, it's pun for the whole family.

Wow, there's so many submarine movies.

Wow, those guys look... furious.

Wow!

Wow. Now I feel like Dr. Dickwads.

Wow. This is eerily similar

Wow. Yeah!

Wow... Although I do believe in ghosts.

Y yeah. So, to make up for it, what say I

Ya done? Hm? Oh!

Ya know what? I'm sure I do.

Ya know, on the farm it was actually a pot,

Ya know...

Yasmin would be my greatest masterpiece, Pam, my hang on...

Yay!

Yay! Right?

Yeah speaking of, I'm out

Yeah that's no good, huh? They'll probably shoot them on sight.

Yeah, a fairytale in which the heroine is drugged and kidnapped.

Yeah, all that Driving Miss Daisy stuff,

Yeah, and when it is,

Yeah, but you sucked at it.

Yeah, Cyril! That is just...

Yeah, especially in

Yeah, even me, and I didn't even know they made shoes out of cornbread.

Yeah, get in line.

Yeah, God forbid you guys get caught.

Yeah, got it. What's that mean?

Yeah, great idea. I'll hold him down. Huh?

Yeah, head. Head.

Yeah, I am...

Yeah, I gotta have sex with her. Wait, what?

Yeah, I think I should at least be co captain.

Yeah, I'm barely muddling through.

Yeah, I'm gonna refer you back to operation said so.

Yeah, in the... low nineties on that.

Yeah, it's It's not "meet my boyfriend,"

Yeah, it's called a pit maneuver,

Yeah, it's worse than I thought.

Yeah, Lana, get his pants off.

Yeah, Lana!

Yeah, Lana. Don't do that...

Yeah, no shit! So thank you, Ray!

Yeah, plus that time we were all on a submarine

Yeah, right? Right!

Yeah, so listen, if you wanna catch those guys

Yeah, so that at night grandfather could...

Yeah, so...

Yeah, take that tone.

Yeah, that doesn't sound right.

Yeah, that's her point. And think how hard watching them

Yeah, the show!

Yeah, they are gonna kill everybody.

Yeah, they don't keep 'em around for their milk.

Yeah, they're like huge nerds, right?

Yeah, think of me as a mediator.

Yeah, was that shot not insane?

Yeah, what could possibly go wrong...

Yeah, where is Ray?

Yeah, which doesn't really make sense

Yeah, why the hell would this guy

Yeah, yeah, that, plus your dick!

Yeah, yeah. Dr. Kane,

Yeah! Woo hoo!

Yeah? You guys good? If you want a drink, just wh ?

Yeah. A little baby girl, Abbiejean. With Lana.

Yeah. Easy peasy.

Yeah. I I am new! I am, Lana.

Yeah. I've seen her crush a cue ball.

Yeah. Just ask a flip flop.

Yeah. Right outside, just dumped his purse all over the welcome mat.

Yeah. Shouldn't we learn a little more about

Yeah. Shut up!

Yeah. So two grand apiece! Are you

Yeah. Stand by?

Yeah. Yes. Good bye.

Yeah... I know.

Yeah... Should you even have those?

Years until the Saesnig the English, deliberately flooded it.

Yeesh. Why don't we just tell her they're dating?

Yep! Yep, yep, yep!

Yep.

Yes you are! And I'm not Lloyd Llewellyn. He is!

Yes, and Here's the thing.

Yes, and thanks for watching AJ.

Yes, and trust me, I've heard all the jokes.

Yes, but I can explain!

Yes, but I've never had sex with a queen.

Yes, but, but, but

Yes, he's getting his master's, too,

Yes, I feel like I was very clear on that.

Yes, I'm afraid so. The self styled Free Wales Army.

Yes, if... Lana, you good?

Yes, Lana, you've made it totally, very nearly insultingly, clear.

Yes, Lana. Obviously I've spoken to Slater, and he says the CIA does this

Yes, Lana. When on Earth are you planning to finish your dissertation?

Yes, mother.

Yes, Mr. Archer?

Yes, obviously you've got this.

Yes, of course. We've got the mashed potatoes

Yes, Pam! Happy?

Yes, Pamela. And yours, Algernop.

Yes, seriously. We're gonna walk out of this building,

Yes, seriously. We're gonna walk out of this building,

Yes, sinister cabals!

Yes, thank you. I can see that.

Yes, that's right, and a bucket of ice.

Yes, there is. And, Mr. Archer, may I help you?

Yes, to us it will seem like

Yes, yes, it most certainly did.

Yes, you've made that perfectly clear.

Yes! But it buys us time.

Yes! I mean, no. I mean, my neck's all sweaty.

Yes! We're approaching the eyeball!

Yes? Yes? I understand.

Yes.

Yes. Oh, really?

Yes. Yes, pleas

You I even hate to say it out loud, but Deliverance was just a movie.

You what? No! Yes! So, soy you later!

You ain't got...

You already forgot.

You and Mom just wanted it to be.

You are a go for injection, doctor.

You are family to me, and not just because of A.J.

You are hands down my new favorite thing.

You Barry banger! I have changed!

You believe I'm telling the truth!

You call this nothing?

You came to Wales for a romantic getaway?

You can all get out.

You can just make out Nellis Air Force base, home to... Area 51!

You can lie to yourself...

You died. But the last time,

You do realize this is an intelligence agency?

You do realize you're the homeowner. Still though.

You don't have anything to compare it to, but no Lloyd. Not good.

You don't think I killed him, do ya? What am I, a doctor?

You don't think they'll kill him, do you?

You done?

You got a car? What?

You guys all better be pushing back there!

You guys, Katya looked absolutely amazing. The tiniest, laciest lingerie

You have dibs on neither. Mr. Gillette, who is a licensed pilot,

You have met them

You have not changed a bit! Ha! Shows what you know!

You have pizza?

You have to be ready to go

You honestly thought you were so physically attractive

You idiots! What did you do? Hey, whoa! First of all,

You just realized is why that method of chopping food is called "dicing."

You kept puking your guts out on the...

You killed one of my guys.

You know what?

You know, could've come from a serial killer.

You know, the freshmaker.

You know, who knows? It's the government. That's not important

You know... with me... during...

You learn something new every

You mean right at Area 51?

You mind telling me why in God's green dick you were in my airspace?

You never read Rosenberg's writings on nonviolent communication?

You people have bungled every assignment

You Philistines!

You realize that's like every fairytale.

You realize your relationship with Malory isn't a huge selling point?

You recently gave birth to a child.

You ruined it.

You see? This is why I never told you!

You should've thought of that before you picked these ridiculous costumes,

You shut up! Jesus, I'm sending you the money for your stupid plane ticket!

You stole it! You stole my idea!

You think he was gonna say "table"?

You think that's for us? I don't know. What sector is this?

You think the CIA's above nerve gas?

You two and your constant bickering

You two head up to the laser turret

You two wanted to share with me?

You used to love going to all those science fairs!

You want to try to break them up?

You were eavesdropping!

You were saying?

You were the one who banged Barry! Bozhe moy!

You were the one who could not deal with the fact that I am now cyborg!

You were the one yapping your damn head off about my damn teacup pig!

You won't divine his humors. For all you charlatans know,

You, as in, Woodhouse? No, me as in me, Lana.

You'd better get there A.S.A.P. because

You'll be given a cursory explanation

You'll be posing as the listing agent!

You'll know what to do if the ship is in imminent danger

You're a spy?

You're alive! Tear this place apart!

You're buying us motorcycles?

You're forgetting what the largest sex organ on the human body is.

You're going to the vet to have your vocal chords clipped.

You're going too fast, you idiot.

You're just different. Come on. It could be a lot worse.

You're kidding, right? Say what?

You're like Wile E. Coyote with access to predator drones. Out.

You're Lloyd Llewellyn, if I don't miss my guess, which means

You're my best friend!

You're my second best friend!

You're not angry at me. You're angry at Lana.

You're not mad at each other. You're mad at the unspeakably revolting

You're referring to the film "Star Wars"

You're sure you don't want a drink?

You're the one whose ex girlfriend left her robot vagina in your sink.

You've ever seen. Sexy stiletto heels.

Your career is over!

Your father and I will check on dinner.

Your Highness! Your Majesty!

Your Highness?

Your job is to stay out of everybody's way,

Your Majesty!

Your Majesty.

Your mom's dog? No.

Your own remaining teeth in your eyes!

Your particular brand of bullshit.

Your people shot us in this guy's foot, not us!

Your plan was way too complicated. Maybe for you people!

Your what?

Zrrp, and slide on out, flrrp.

4 minutes.

5 minutes.

6 minutes

6x12 Drastic Voyage, part 1

10 4 on the 20, come back.

10 seconds.

15 minutes.

22 full and 18 half baths,

22.5, and I want a notarized copy of the revised birth certificate

30 seconds before the engine locks up,

40 minutes.

59 minutes ish until the Nereus reverts to normal size.

98.6.

"Fe godwn ni eto." Oh yeah, that's that's right, David. Good lad.

A person called... What the ?

A.J. will be fine. Just remember what we talked about.

About either? Wait. What?

Act ting, you philistine. Michael, what are you doing here?

Actually it did have one. And his name was Spearchucker.

Admit it, Lana. I admit nothing.

After this is over, you and me. Poop.

against Gary's olde town tavern... No, it's..

Ah, for the love of "Randy Randalman"? Yeah.

Ah, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit. No shit, I'm telling

Ah, so you're Archer. Uh, yes.

Ah. Have you not told her? Yeah, so, even though it's a

Albeit under threat of death. Due to boredom. Come on!

all the people lost their homes. My God, countless thousands of them!

Alrighty, can someone give me a hand? But, Doctor, I thought the

Although speaking of blowing up Malory, she's a baby, and

always seem to blow up in our faces? No.

An American chef. He knows you're American, honey.

And a good body, huh? Good? I mean, you're from the UK, so

And are those tampons? Also yes.

and stuffed in a cargo hold. It wasn't the c You were in a seat.

And the stick? The stick is this is your last chance.

And then the baby bear said..

and were not weightless? Oh, right.

And... Scene! Yes. We get it, Michael.

Archer... Captain!

Are you kidding? Are you?

As you see, my good sir. Uh... CIA puppet shows?

at the CIA laboratory in New Mexico. Why?

be flooded? Lana, I hate to break it to

Buckle up! No!

But how is this even possible? Well I know it may seem strange.

But... You maniacs!

Choking Sorry, maybe you can't hear me over the sound of all the

Come on, you know you want it. You don't know what I want.

damn you, years! Krieger, those were shrinky dinks.

David! No I'm not.

End of sentence, end of discussion. Are you sure there's nothing I can do

Ethan! Yeah, Ethan!

Exactly. And Slater says Wait, you talked to Slater?

Excuse me? We only had enough oxygen for eight crew, not nine,

Eyedropper! One minute.

Five... Four... You're making me really hard.

friends have a bully You want them to come running to you.

from intelligence work? I'd have a lot more free time?

Get in the closet! I am getting in the closet

Get out. Gladly!

gets vaporized? I'd just jump out at the last second.

Go going on with me how? What do you mean? I mean

Hand job. So they call Katya because they're jealous we're dating.

have an oil can in his... Elbow grease.

He does have a point, Lana. Yeah, I hate to waste good toast.

He said he knew you. You let an unauthorized civilian

He said light the candle. Not an ear candle!

Hey, sleepyhead. Hey you.

How is that like Lana, cows are our friends!

How?! Well I guess the hand,

Huh. And I know drugging women isn't cool at all, ever, and

Huh. I never thought about that. Doctor?

I am leaving. No no, wait, wait, wait.

I beg your pardon? I thought it was dams.

I can't. I'm swiveling. Yes you can, Archer.

I do now that you mention it! Don't yell at me.

I gotta go tell her! No, no, no!

I just had the d****s cleaned! And then papa bear said,

I mean Okay yeah, maybe in the book

I mean no, you idiot. I mean My God.

I suppose that makes you Lana Kane. I Yes, actually.

I think probably "Wales". Lloyd!

I think the idiots called her

I was always kind to you. Not always.

I was voted best milker. Me too.

I will have you arrested! Hmm? Do what?

I... How did he even get on the base?

I... Plus I'm going to use the money

I'm gonna be fine. So if, say, there's a malfunction

I'm not the one advocating **** and child cannibalism. No!

I'm sorry. Am I forgetting my place? Little bit.

if he ever gets... out here. Ow!

In a drama, which was totally weird. But not as weird as Ed Asner.

Insane. David!

Is that crazy? Oh, my God, okay. Mmm.

Is that supposed to make it better? That is better! Like, empirically.

Is that the best I'm gonna get out of you? Yup.

It is kind of romantic. Yeah, right?

It It's gone. Hang on.

It was. Whew, okay.

It's not like you need a million bucks. Wh... Are you kidding?

It's Sk wuh doh fska. I'm sorry. What'd I say?

just to make someone else jealous? Well, maybe now you know how I feel.

just to visit a stupid distillery. It's not stupid, Lana, it's

Lana, hey. We were just not talking. Shut up.

Lana, nobody can. Really?

Lana, why am I in the closet? Because I said so!

Lana? What?

laser it, and still escape? I mean, it will be close, but maybe.

Let me explain. If you don't let go of me, you're gonna have to explain how

Lieutenant Ginger Bayliss. Clamp.

Like, you know, it's crap? No dude, people really dig it.

Literally a farce. Exactly, yes! Ah.

Literally. You mean figuratively.

Lloyd? Yeah, grabbed it while you were arguing.

Look, Ray, I know you don't do well with peer pressure Wha a a aa?

Maybe I finally learn to fly fish. That's great, Archer.

Meaning? Irascible on board medical officer.

MI5, my goodness! Please, do come in. Uh, what's the problem here?

Mm yeah, I wouldn't say on board. Oh man!

Mmm, man, I was out. Yeah you were.

Mmm. Just go.

Mr. Figgis, may I help you? Yeah, is there any reason why you can't

my dear, but I'll have to hand it to ya. Hm, keep your hands to yourself, Doctor.

Nine... Eight... Lana?

No likey. Well it's normally the other way around,

No you didn't because no I wasn't. Stop the car, let me out.

No, I'm... I'm gonna make it up to you, buddy.

No, just 48. You know, four dozen. Are you

No, not why is the lab in New Mexico. Why are you going to tell us

No, uh it's Wait, wait, wait.

No. Oh my God, you are so immature.

Nope, that is your problem. Uh, then may I have the gun please?

Obviously, look at your sweater. ...but don't lie to Team Breakup.

of his own, is as farcical as mine? Hmm.

Of the ship. Well let's keep an open mind.

Of the ship. Well let's keep an open mind.

Oh come on, you pussy! For the love of God, man!

Oh my God, to drown everybody? No, to make a reservoir.

Oh please don't. Archer!

Oh, Archer. Archer? As in Sterling Archer?

Oh, dear God... Mom?

Oh, my God! Dammit, Krieger!

Oh, my, God. Men's room? Broom closet.

Oh, sorry. That's me, just making toast. Tooooast!

Oh? Not you.

Ohh! I'm just an assistant.

Okay I'm not. Jesus. Why is she even in this briefing?

Okay, technically yes, but I caught you cheating on me.

on a 3 D map of the human body... Ta da!

On a guy. On a guy named TV's Michael Gray.

On network television! In America, and not that long ago.

on what I assume will be an extremely moist cake... Blorp.

Ooh, "Yellow sub..." "Yellow submarine," yes!

Ooh, little "handingo" action. Ahem.

Ooh! Sorry!

or say to change your mind, Lana? Very.

Our ally. Well they're no ally to Wales.

Overplaying yours? Well I was gonna say "putty in yours",

Pam, shut up! Make her!

patient was getting the hand. Speaking of hands, Nurse, I'm

Pfft, that won't be hard! What?

Probably. Maybe you can pay one of these high class hookers with it.

Really? "Then the mama bear said,

Really? Because the last thing I remember, we were arguing in

Really? No!

Really? Ray, get closer!

Said your dick. That would mean it's too big, dummy,

Seriously? What?

Seven... Six... Lana, calm down.

She shows up Unbeknownst. And nothing happens, even

She's not mad at you, Lloyd. She's mad at me. For what?

She's with Mother. Calm down, I Why am I in a car, in a

Shh! Come on, buddy. David.

Shock. Nothing. What?

So are you. No.

So what? So did I. So did most of us.

So, should we be steering, or... Shh!

So? So when we're floating

Sorry. Jesus.

Speak for yourself, holy shrink snacks. Yeah, this is kind of terrifying.

Sup? Hey, guys.

Tell that to Dyffryn Thebwys. Duffer who?

That shit wouldn't happen in America. Yes it would, and does, all

That's a lot of G's. Oh,

the mission parameters? Oh you absolutely should!

The what? Tennessee Valley Authority?

the word, "shocking" with the word... This!

the... Don't say it.

Then what's the problem? Who are you, Josephine Stalin?

Then you must be Lana Ugh! Way to go, Randy.

They may even be our best friends. We have to shoot him!

This is shocking! No, that's just gross.

This is? Are you sure? Yes.

This is... Michael? Oh my god.

those tampons got driven into your brain. Thanks for these, by the way.

Three... Two... Goddamn, dude.

to eat your shitty attitude for dinner, mister. I

Toooast! Damn it, David! Come and have some toast!

transport and injection, over. Roger that, Nereus.

TV's Michael Gray. Whoo!

Ugh, how is this Randy's fault? Oh, I'm sorry.

Ugh, we are... C'mon, nothing by the drifters?

Uh what? Guys, it's obvious what we gotta do.

Uh yeah, I'm a spy. Oh, right.

Uh, I'm making room for Tang. Nereus to

Uh, no. Ah it really helped me and David.

Uh, we tried to blow up a dam. A dam?

Uh, what's going on? Well,

Uh, you already did that, Doctor. Oh right.

Ummmmmm... Yeah. What?!

vibrating robot vagina! And you're making my point for me!

Wait, what? Ah, don't worry. We'll always have

Wait, what?! Is that possible?

Wales. Wales?

We are! I am pushing.

We're not weightless! Why not?

Well R right after I ask your wife and kids about you,

Well first of all, both. How

Well not real people. Just English ones. Excuse me.

Well the problem, Mister um Randalman, Randy Randalman.

Well then could you hold the toast? Damn it!

Well, 48. Thousand!

Well, maybe we'll check that out. Uh, don't bother.

Well? As opposed to every single woman you meet in a bar

What are we doing, lethal injection? Are you... this is Dr. Kovacs.

What are you talking about? This big, meaty bastard right here.

What if we die? I'd have a lot more free time?

What is with the rubbing alcohol?

What the Shit! Mmm, whoa.

What the shit, Lana? Aha!

What the shit? Or this?

What the shit? What the hell?

What, why do you ? Give me your passport!

What? Earballs! Jesus!

What? In the hot tub!

What? Not you.

What? Spearchucker Jones.

What? We're not shooting an MI5 agent.

What? What?

What? Well then, where is it? His foot.

while the airlock is purging. Oh.

Who is Brian Keith? Now you're just trying to piss me off.

Who is this man? I Wait, shit. Who am I?

Who's having a rest? I heard you, now I gotta go. Goodbye.

Whoa, whoa, steady on. Freeze or I'll I have no weapon. Archer!

Whoo! Archer!

Whoo! Oh my god.

Why? Shits and grins... and screams.

winds up in the sink. Yes. So, you're saying it was

with the navigation? Well I did get an "A" in college biology.

with your old man fetish. Aw come on, they're not so...

Wow. Da. It is also very good for bondage, mild BDSM,

Ya know... Time to deminiaturization

Yeah, surprise is ruined. No it's not! I am extremely surprised!

Yeah, that's what Mother said. MI5, from England.

Yeah, they're quite good. Son of a

Yeah, you know what this is? Your best gal?

Yes, come and have some toast, David. Ugh, make him wash his hands first.

Yes, it will do, Dav. You've been shot. So we're supposed to help

Yes, you idiot! As in Sterling Archer of the CIA?

Yes! No!

Yes! I can explain if you Yeah, explain how I just woke

Yes? Good afternoon.

Yes. Great, shut up, because I'm talking to Carol,

Yes. We'll be fine, all right?

You know what I don't have time for? Mm, shopping for clothes?

You know what? Not because it's black.

you overreacted about Katya. I Oh my God.

You son of a... Slater!

You still shouldn't have drugged me. No, I know, that was

You stop it now! Calm down? Lana, calm down.

You were saying? I don't know.

your bedroom! Yeah, I wanted to explain everything but you were totally

your brother David can't be too far off. Uh, in the closet, jacking off in a hat.

Your infant daughter. Oh right. Sorry. What's up?

...fat joke?

...utterly charming.

...will. Great.

...would agree with that statement.

"'well somebody's been eating my porridge.'

"Aha", what?

"Area 51".

"Das Boot," "The enemy below,"

"Fe godwn ni "

"Fe godwn ni eto."

"Run silent, run deep", uh... "Gray lady down..."

"Soy!"

"Tomato, Tomato."

"Yeah? You just keep it up because this town is crawling