North Edit

A beet based soup, Russian in origin, frequently served...

A bird in the hand is greener than the grass under the other guy's bushes.

A bum bought a hot dog from me an hour ago.

A child is born. He's given a life.

A E I O U.

A hot dog with just mustard.

A kid becomes a free agent, then offers his services..

A little bit?

A man left this for you.

A man walks into a bar.

A nice cup of hot cocoa, and to go with that, our state dish.

A place that's ordinary to everyone else..

A ranch hand from Texas.

A week later, they drop us like a sack of rancid poi and go home.

Absolutely. Follow me.

According to Arther Belt, the rising politician who drafted the

According to the latest polls, parents are so nervous...

Adam, Koreatown's yours.

Adam, take tape to editing.

Adam, what are you doing here?

Adam?

After all, you're down to...

All across the land, kids were holding their parents at emotional gunpoint.

All rigth!

All rise for the Honorable Judge Buckle.

All sit for the Honorable Judge Buckle.

All they care about is themselves.

All they did was faint.

All we want is for you to be the best North you can be.

Aloha, North.

Aloha?

Aloha.

Aloha.

An era made possible...

And another thing up here...

And do you know the one catalyst...

And he said he hoped you're not still omgry at him for bringing that

And I'd love to sample it someday.

And if any of you has ever seen the Little Rascals...

And if had an I.Q. below 24, I suppose I might think the same.

And it was putting a damper on what was otherwise a very successful life.

And now the man whose brilliant legal mind...

And pride.

And remember be it ever so humble, there's no place like home.

And since those kids will do whatever you tell them to...

And that dream is becoming a reality.

And that geography test we took today.

And that when I woke up.

And that's my own clock from my own house.

And thereby shifted the familial balance of power...

And these art thy new brothers...

And they weren't bed folks.

And this good woman, who art my wife...

And unnless I'm mistaken even further, you haven't found them.

And what a future it is.

And yet not over the top.

And you are? North.

And you were always good to me, North.

And you're welcome.

And, Al. Yeah, boss?

And, it you live in Hawaii, it's easier to get into a good college.

Another pants with the rippost they put it purpose, to me those are up real jeans.

Another rib, son?

Another team.

Ans where better to do that than amidst the teeming, faceless masses of the city?

Anything else, son?

Apparently.

Are you okay?

Are you some kind of guardian angel?

Aren't naughty?

Aren't you upset that you may see your son again?

Arthur Belt, at your service.

Arthur Belt.

Arthur, do I detect a note of melancholy?

Arthur, don't you know that that's an impossibility?

Arthur, please. Use your head.

As a rule, 11 year olds don't experience these.

As curator of the Smithsonian Institution...

As much as I'm enjoying this chat, shouldn't you be off?

As North ran for his life...

As North was skidding to Anchorage, things were heating up at home.

As North's best friend...

As of next Monday...

As they made the long trek to the sea..

At 78 consecutive days and counting...

At a safe place.

At Christmas, maybe Santa Claus.

At Mount Rushmore, angry parents...

At this point, I'd even settle for Mozart's parents.

Ball four.

Be.

Be.

Beautiful clinate.

Beautiful.

Besides, how I got this test isn't important.

Best of all, it was far away feom everything, so there was nothing...

Big car, right?

Bigger than you thought.

Biggest boy this state's ever seen.

Borscht.

Brilliant!

Bring the car around for North's folks.

Brush your teeth before you go to bed.

Bundle up. It's a long walk.

But

But any more displays like the Panther game...

But did North's folks realize how special he was?

But do I want parents who'd show my most private crevice on a billboard...

But do you think that audience will mmake me tea if I'm sicck?

But for North this was a sressful time.

But for North to be a martyr, doesn't he have to be killed by a parent?

But I bet you that even Amadeus Mozart...

But I do have one question just for my own peace of mind.

But I'll tell you one thing my smoke alarm never went off.

But I'm not dead.

But I'm not.

But if North doesn't come back, you could always adopt.

But if you wonder about the quality of a pair of pants, come to me.

But it all goes right, you will be our first child.

But it I was, it's because I think Winchell's gone too far.

But just because he's old doesn't mean he can't be part of the family.

But like I said, North knew about none of this.

But Mr. Mozart is dead and I'm alive...

But no one came for Hands Across America.

But North wasn't okay.

But now we want to show you how much we hope...

But overalls now he's insulting me.

But thanks to the jam on the highway, I'm sorry to say it's almost ten of twelve.

But the point I'm making, Al...

But the stain on this cap is from borscth.

But then he's appreciated by everyone except the folks who gave him that life.

But what if they wake uo in the next week?

But what is the deal with all this eating?

But who needs that extra time if you spend it exercising?

But, but, but. Let's go. This is no surprise to you.

But, Dad

Bye, Dad.

Bye, Dad.

Bye.

Can I have a word with you?

Can I ride on top?

Can we go to theb carmival tomorrow?

Can we see our son?

Can we take that as a yes?

Can you come down here?

Can you spare some extra chage?

Can't be your owe man it they're comparing you to someone else.

Can't beat the fashion.

Can't you stay a little while longer?

Certainly, with the extra time, he could find two measly parents.

Change? He left the Nelsons.

Chicago is in Africa?

Colonel Mustard, in the study, and here's the rope.

Colonel Mustard...

Come and get it.

Come in. You tired?

Come on!

Come on! We got a paper to get out!

Come on.

Come on. Come on, please.

Coming.

Coming.

Consider it done, sir.

Contingency plan?

Cut!

Dad, can I talk to you for a minute?

Dad, let's go. Time to flow.

Dad!

Dad!

Dad.

Daddy and I are only human and sometimes,

Damn it!

Dead kid?

Despite North concerm about his deadline...

Did that have anything to do with Winchell?

Did you say the hell?

Dig, man.

Do and say what I tell you.

Do I need one? This is America.

Do you know how many angry parents...

Do you mind it I...?

Do you really have to go?

Doesn't that get confusing?

Doll, can your on my lower back?

Don't be burprised if you see extra zeros in your paycheck.

Don't be surprised if there aren't.

Don't even ask about it.

Don't even ask him about the Warren Commission.

Don't feel bad.

Don't fret about not clenning your plate.

Don't get me wrong.

Don't just stand there.

Don't mention it.

Don't worry about Granpa.

Don't worry about him, North.

Don't worry.

Don't you see?

Down in there parts we got a saying.

Easter Bunny? Careful.

Einstein knew arithmentic and I know pants.

Even as we speak, adults across this great land of ours...

Even now, people don't think of Hawaii as part of the U.S.

Even though I have made a judgment, I still mustmake a ruling.

Everybody upstairs to bed right now.

Everyone has a lawyer.

Everyone wants you, kid.

Everything I owe is the biggest and the best.

Exactly. And they're the only ones.

Federal Express, huh?

Finally, North had new parents.

Finally, North's day in court arrived, and the world was watching.

Five vowels.

Flight 24 from Hawaii, by way...

Floor it!

For every hour of exercise, you add an hour to your life.

Fourth of July I might be Uncle same.

Free agency.

From my parents?

From now on, we are a team.

From what I hear about Buck, what kind of shadow would that be?

Gabby, what are you doing here?

Gabby's killed men for less that that.

Get in.

Get your butt in motion.

Give him the emperor cut.

Go home, make up. And good bye...

Go to it. And Al...

God forbid they go through Atlanta.

Good bye, North.

Good bye.

Good idea. Bad idea.

Good job. Can we play again?

Good morning.

Good night kido.

Good night, Dad.

Good night, folks. You've been great.

Good night, lovely.

Good night, Mom.

Good night, Mom.

Good night, North.

Good.

Good.

Got that?

Got what? Perfect?

Governor and Mrs. Ho?

Great idea! North is a genius.

Great idea.

Great landing.

Great. I love fishing.

Great. Thanks.

Greetings, North.

Guardians of your most important packages and communiques.

Hang in there.

Hard to argue with that.

Hardly.

He asked me about jeans. Please!

He believe in God and evolution.

He bugged the Nelsons' phone.

He called his mom, but she was busy re routing the Himmelmans.

He could eat more in one day that anyone else could in a whole month.

He couldn't know they hadn't done anything in 2 months.

He died in a stampede.

He found them to be warm, understanding...

He had a great life.

He had trmendous affection for old folks.

He has less than one minte.

He says, My darling, do you smoke after you make love?

He says, What about chinos?

He sits down next to a...

He was going to Hawii...

He was shooting at me.

He was sitting on that spot the first time I saw him.

He was upset his parent hadn't called in 2 months.

He would disappear.

He'll be here soon.

He'll be okay.

He's decided to come to our fair city.

He's done work for me pro bono.

He's going to his parents.

He's happy to go before he start embarrassing himself.

He's here.

He's North. He can do anything.

He's not our son.

He's not our son.

He's not our son.

He's very angry right now.

Hello, North.

Hello, North. Happy Labor Day.

Help yourself, everybody.

Herbrew slaves in Egypt...

Here we go 35 Maple Drive.

Here you go, North.

Here you go.

Hey, hid, hop in!

Hey, howdy, North.

Hey, it's got a hole in it!

Hey, it's you.

Hey, kid!

Hey, son.

Hey, this lloks great.

Hi, North.

Hike!

Himmelman.

His eyes are blue.

His folks will fight it.

His name... was Hugh.

Hold on, son.

Holy mackerel, your folks are sitting on a gold mine.

Home sweet home.

Home. I miss my parents.

Honey by the way Winchell called

Hope it brings you good luck.

How about yours? Not lately.

How bad?

How can I be sure?

How can that be? He's your son.

How can we fell good about ourselves?

How can you equate a medical oddity with man's landing on the moon?

How could they do that?

How do you feel about this?

How do you know about my secret spot?

How long to put Operation Xerox into place?

How much loger must we put with this indignity?

How much loger must we tolerate these injustices.

How much time is left?

How successful?

How you doing?

How? You got a car?

How'd you find me?

How's my room coming?

How's the view up there?

How's you know? News reavels fast.

Howdy.

However...

Hungey?

Hungry?

I always figured...

I always wanted a brother.

I am but a humble servant, standing at your ready...

I am thy new father.

I bet that eagle is whistling another tune.

I came to see you because you looked familiar.

I can only assume you think this is blood.

I can't reveal sources, North.

I can't think about it.

I caught a few breaks.

I could eat. Right this way.

I didn't know.

I don't get it.

I don't know the gentleman.

I don't know.

I don't know.

I don't see anything.

I dont' see why not. Ward?

I feel I owe it to my parents to give one last chance.

I fell asleep in the mall.

I finshed my chores. I thought I'd do some shooting.

I forgot. I didn't see it.

I got a civilization to run here.

I got to get back upstairs.

I guess so.

I guess you could say that.

I had a day, let me tell you.

I had a real bad game today.

I happen to know the best.

I have ten minutes to find my parents.

I hight doubt it.

I hope I'm not being insensitive, but...

I hope so.

I just do that to beat the traffic.

I just don't feel safe anywhere.

I just have to be alone.

I just met this adorable 7 year old boy.

I just want reaching for each others, and I got shot in the back

I know chinos.

I know we're excited to have North here...

I know what you're going through.

I know what you're thinking.

I know.

I know.

I know.

I left butter churn in the overhead compartment.

I left him there in his secret spot.

I left home because I had parents who didn't appreciate who I was.

I love you guys, too.

I make a good borscht.

I may be in a bunny suit, but I'm unaware of some basic truths.

I may even get the Pulitzer.

I mean Mrs. Nelson.

I meant to say, you look very handsome today.

I must advise you...

I must have fallen asleep.

I need some time to think.

I need time to think.

I never looked.

I only got 4 months of sunlight here.

I only got two legs here!

I only showered 12 times during the 70s.

I promise, Drandpa wants this as much as anyone.

I reckon we'll wake early and eat.

I rele in favor of the plaintiff.

I rule that North choose this nre parents by Labor Day...

I said that?

I said, Do you know who I am?

I said, got nice folks.

I saw blood in my stool today.

I saw it. No, you didn't.

I searched the world, but nobody was good enough.

I see.

I still don't see why we can't talk to North in person.

I suhhest you lay low for a while.

I tell you what from now on we both gonna try a little harder, is't it okay son?

I think my pants will hold, only if you put in the box for savation army.

I think there's only a few minor details to discuss.

I thought that meant hello.

I thought they didn't love me.

I told Jean Pierre to give you all the room service you want.

I told you because you're my friend, not editor of the school paper.

I trust enjoyed your summer.

I try.

I understand.

I undertand.

I used to won the Houston Astros.

I walked nine Panthers and hit my coach's wife with a wild pitch.

I want to try out my new VCR.

I was inspecting pants before you were wearing them...

I was thinking I stay here...

I was thinking what s heat warming scene it will be...

I will now take questions.

I won't discuss it.

I won't lie to you, I have a bit of an appetite.

I'll all right.

I'll get a couple of poles and go fishing.

I'll give you a ride home.

I'll go look for him.

I'll have it spotless by dinner.

I'll have someone escort you to the Plaza.

I'll never find new parents.

I'll see he gets it.

I'll take over.

I'm a fan of any food that straddles two borders.

I'm a jornalist.

I'm happy for you.

I'm home!

I'm independently wealthy.

I'm just looking for the right time and place.

I'm North.

I'm not here.

I'm not sure that's what I want to be.

I'm not.

I'm number six!

I'm okay.

I'm Pa Tex. This is Ma Tex.

I'm so sorry.

I'm sorry, but it wouldn't be fair to any of us.

I'm sorry.

I'm standing here.

I'm starved and this is my last carrot.

I'm surprised at you.

I'm swamped. Can we discuss this over dinner?

I've always dreamt of life without the ever present nuisance of electricity.

I've been looking forward to this.

I've been sent here by the court...

I've been working for him since you left home.

I've got more guts than anybody in this town.

I've seen your name on maps.

If anything happened to you, I don't know what we'd do.

If he does not choose new parents, he may return to his original ones. But...

If I'm scared, imagine how the other passengers will react.

If one of you leaves, that's only two arms.

If only you could give us just one more chance.

If only you could give us just one more chance.

If there's a change in policy in the next few weeks...

If you don't tell me where they are...

If you live here, you'll be younger because of the difference in time zones.

If you lived here in Hawaii...

If you succeed, how will your actions affect Mother's Day?

If you want my advice I know you didn't ask for it...

If you're hungry on your way to New York.

If your absolutely, positively must be there tomorrow we can do it.

In 1793, the cotton gin was invented.

In August, your balls stick to your leg like glue.

In case you forget let me remind you.

In fact, there's only one barren area on all of our islands.

In Hawaii, aloha means hello and good bye.

In my judgment, any folks...

In the islands, we have but 12 letter in our alphabet.

Insensitive of me to even bring it up.

Is there anything we can do for you?

Is this clear to the defense?

Is this clear to the plaintiff?

Is Winchell's story accurate?

Isn't he great?

Isn't this gut wrenching, tortuous emotional experience?

It did cross my mind.

It didn't matter at this point.

It is?

It is.

It just makes you old.

It just makes you smell worse in the morning.

It may be good luck for you.

It says here you're dead.

It turns into wind.

It was July 4th and this year, Independence Day had a special meaning.

It will ruin everything. Get him!

It would just kill me to see that happen.

It's a message from your parents.

It's a metaphor used mostly by gardeners and landscape people.

It's absolutely Winchellian.

It's Al with the sleeping dogs.

It's an urgent message from his original parents.

It's briliant.

It's demeaning.

It's great you're here, North.

It's humiliating, my friends.

It's job to know about these things.

It's just not right.

It's North. He's alive.

It's not

It's not like baseball if you dislike your team..

It's only right I give you back the Astros.

It's your son. Oaky, just a minute.

Jeepers Creepers that reminds me.

Jeffrey, don't be ridiculous.

July 1st.

Just curious...

Just get me home, will you?

Just him and his thoughts.

Just something I've always had.

Just tell me what to do, okay?

Just think about it.

Kaanapali, Maunalani.

Keep taping.

Kid, from snow on, the world is your oyster.

Knowing his time was limited...

Labor Day isn't next week. I just got here.

Ladies and gentlemen, Governor and Mrs. Ho.

Ladies and gentlemen...

Landscape sure is beautiful up here.

Less than a minute.

Let me be your son.

Let me just get something.

Let me rephrase the questio how's the arm?

Let's get cracking!

Let's go in and push a few numbers around.

Let's go.

Let's go. You know what's going on.

Line?

Listen to me carefully.

Long live the North dynasty!

Look at that. The salmon are running.

Look at the year he's had.

Look at this.

Looks like they counted their last sheep.

Loosen his pants.

Main house, guest house...

Mainland peole don't care about Hawaii.

Make it Joey.

Mallomar?

Maybe he won't.

Maybe Hugh can be your son.

Maybe it shows us where the wind was.

Maybe it'll bring you more luck than it did me.

Maybe the MSG will calm you down.

Maybe there's something wrong with me.

Maybe this free agent thing will blow up in our faces!

Maybe we should look for him.

Maybe you can adopt him.

Me, either.

Mom and I baked cookies.

Mom!

Mom!

Mom!

Mom!

Mom! Dad!

Move it along.

Move it, kid.

Move it!

Move it.

Mr. Arthur Ulyess Belt, Esquire.

Mr. Blankman, I have problems I have to work out.

Much to this surprise... they were his own.

My back us killing me.

My crack will be show in every airport?

My crack?

My family and I would like to see North's long journey...

My life's a holiday.

My name is North. May I talk to my dad?

My this summer has really broadened you.

Nah, that's okay.

Nah, that's okay. Not for me.

Nah! That's okay.

Needless to say, it was quite a big loss.

Neither do I.

Next!

Next!

No comment!

No dead kids, no low self esteem?

No frozen skeletons in your closet?

No harm done.

No kid refuese a Mallomar unless he has heavy problems.

No matter where it is...

No reason.

No smog up here.

No wonder we stopped for lunch 49 times.

No, honey.

No, I mean... have you ever been an Easter Bunny?

No, I'm okay.

No, it's time to hit the sack.

No, thanks.

No, thanks.

No, that's okay!

No, that's okay.

No, that's okay.

No, you saw it.

No. I'm eleven.

Normally I would answer, No later than 10:30.

North always looks both ways.

North felt...

North flosses.

North free agent draft, hello.

North free agent draft.

North knew he was having a coronary.

North needed answers.

North never spoils his appetite.

North probably couldn't remeber when the spot first revealed its powers to him.

North still hasn't found new parents.

North tried to learn all this wise old man knew about life in the tundra.

North wanted to give his folks a chance to keep the family together.

North was a free man, and on his way to search out the life he felt he deserved.

North was having trouble with his folks.

North was not one for snap judgments...

North will never pull this off.

North, can you pull this off?

North, can you tell us the anme of the inventor?

North, desperate with time running out, raced toward an uncertain future.

North, Hawaii is a lush and fertile land.

North, honey, are you okay?

North, you're very important to us.

North?

North?

North? Honey?

North.

North. Over here.

North...

North...

North's first impression of Alaska was positive.

North's room is always clean.

Not being appreciated is a cormmon childhood lament.

Not even a phone call to let us know nobody was coming.

Not even own parents would send my granpa away like that.

Not even the Nelsons, who I just left.

Not for me.

Not now, Arthur!

Not that audience.

Nothing special.

Nothing wrong with you.

Nothing.

Now he's an expert on piping!

Now I have two big brothers to look out for me.

Now is the time to band together...

Now is the time to say no.

Now is the time to say...

Now then, let me remind you that this is a trial, not a hearing.

Now then, today is...

Now we have to make you the biggest.

Now, son

Now, what is the point?

Now, without further ado...

Number six!

Number six!

Of course I do. I'm almost famous. Joey Fingers.

Of course not.

Of course we did.

Of course.

Oh, Al.

Oh, good. I love those.

Oh, man.

Oh, man.

Oh, man.

Oh, my God what of North goes bnack yo his folks?

Oh, no. But this ruins everything.

Oh, nothing.

Oh, sir.

Oh, the ambulance chasing thing?

Oh, yeah.

Oh! Dad, tomorrow do you think we're going to...

Oh! North! We're so happy you home.

Okay, a lot.

Okay, everybody, let's go.

Okay, guys, let's roll.

Okay, I'll hold the story.

Okay, Laura, sack the quarterback.

Okay, thanks.

Okay, we'll discuss it at dinner.

Okay.

Once you pick someone, they're you're new folks forever.

One Coca Cola.

One dollar.

One of my favorite directions.

One Sex On The Beach.

Only when you're firing someone.

Opening presents takes three weeks alone, right, Ma?

Or give me advice when I've fought with my best friend?

Or, God forbid, I get in trouble.

Orphanage? Not to worry.

Our first son.

Our friend had a dream.

Our friend has a change of heart.

Out of five.

Pants, can I help you?

Pants! That's what I know. Pants.

Parents who made him feel wanted, secure and loved.

Phone call for you.

Photosynthesis: The process by which carbohydrates...

Pictwies of you and your muder wear on the school newspaper.

Please forgive us.

Please forgive us.

Pretty fair shooting, Gabby.

Problems? You?

Prom season. Get a number.

Ready, Ma.

Really?

Refreshing to meet a kid with such strong convictions about his crack.

Relax, honey.

Relax.

Remain seated until the plane comes to a full stop in Anchorage, Alaska.

Remember if you can't stand the heat, stay out of Miami.

Remember when I told you everything I owe is the biggest and the best?

Remember when you told me North was dead?

Right I'm lting here with the next President of the United States.

Right, Grandpa?

Right.

See this rash?

See what we come up with.

See, the truth is, North...

Selfish folks.

Sevan consonants.

She says, I don't know.

Show up unannounced and it could blow up in your face.

Sign on the fourth line.

Simply brilliant!

Since our days last for months, you can imagine the festivities.

Since we don't use B, C, D, and F..

Six in a row.

Smell that fresh air.

So I left to find new folks who's appreciate me more.

So it does.

So long, Al.

So long, pard.