Workaholics (2011) - Season 6 Edit

A bad, bad bitch, you bitch.

A better looking Carrot Top, I've been told.

A can't miss business investment.

A chance, you'd like 'em.

A cool thing you might be into.

A hero waits.

A Jimmy Dean breakfast sausage. Nope.

A little Amy Schumer looking.

A little stronger than this coffee

A lot of lesbians have medical issues because

A puppet show for the sick kids.

A take off on "Macbeth"?

A ton of little [bleep] in her story.

A warm, steaming travel mug

Aah!

Aah! [laughs]

Abandon her on the first night of being her daddy?

About how awesome our 4/20 party was last year,

About the package getting home.

About to come out the oven!

About your chest bombs, ma'am,

Acting like a total bitch.

Actually

Actually hurt my tooth a little bit.

Actually, don't you ever tell me, all right?

Actually, I don't even know if it's a dude

Actually, I'm very nervous.

Actually, it's a TV/VCR and the tape.

Actually, look at this.

Adam

Adam okay, man.

Adam "the Animal Lover" DeMamp.

Adam "The Money Boy" DeMamp, is a sales shark.

Adam, go ahead and kick me in the dads.

Adam, this is your boss.

Adam: Ders Day isn't over yet?

Adam: Oh, God.

Adam: Oh, my God.

Adam: That's smart. Way alpha.

Adam: They're biting me!

Adam!

Adam!

Adam? Okay. Please.

After a Kevin Bacon movie about a pedophile.

After you heard the shocking and scandalous tale

Ah, a griffin!

Ah, but, yeah, dude, you got to go, I guess.

Ah, it's nice in here.

Ah, yep. How are you?

Ah!

Ahh.

Alice, seems like this is getting a little out of control?

Alice, spectacular presentation, as usual.

Alice! Alice!

All my money got to go to my children.

All of you!

All right, boys, alpha Ders is gonna step up, hit the table,

All right, let's get out of here.

All right, this is working out great so far.

All right? I am not cool.

All right.

All right. You ready? Cool.

All right. Mmm.

All the pages are stuck together.

All the stepmoms with the pasties on speedboats

All we have to do is apologize, do some grand gesture,

All you want is some cooked eggs,

All: @The3BestFrandz. Okay.

All: * Baby back ribs

All: Delete your apps! All right. All right, fine.

All: Delete your apps! Yeah!

All: Delete your apps! You know what?

All: Delete your apps! Delete your apps!

All: Dough Jo. Dough Jo. Dough Jo.

All: Ooh.

All: Three! Four! Five! Aah!

All: Unbutton your buttons!

All: Yes.

All: Yes.

Alph Alphonso.

Alpha dogs, sound off!

Already got two likes. That's cool.

Also for closers.

Also, I slam 40s and listen to Ty Dolla $ign, though.

Also, never forget how old you really are.

Although they've been fairly useless recently.

Am I getting right under little kitty's chin?

Am I the guy that took Rancho Cuca Pizza's

An entire international cartel!

And and get sexualized.

And and grab on to your tampon string.

And fingers crossed 69. Good angle, Ders.

And @YungChillunerr and @AdamnBilzarian.

And acid and, you know, ecstasy, Molly...

And also a fixation on little boys.

And as far as I'm concerned, that's one too many.

And back to Magic Blake.

And be harassed and controlled by you...

And be honest. You're on speakerphone.

And be lookouts while he gets to heist.

And break your goddamn necks.

And by the way, these aren't tears coming out of my eyes.

And cheese biscuit coupon?

And Denny's flew into the windshield.

And Diamond Bar branches from TAC.

And dropped me off at a taping of VH1's "Storytellers."

And eaten our cat's corpse.

And essential oils that JP recommends.

And find enough ditch weed to roll up 42 blunts

And find my phone before someone else does.

And following home strange men to pound Mangria.

And for taking the world's dumbest bet.

And free your ass.

And funny, it looks like you two and Adam all scored a 69.

And get our tape back so I can evacuate.

And get really hot, you know?

And get the Vo fixed, okay?

And getting the attention of a lifetime.

And girl to girl and has no responsibilities

And gnar gnarest, most epic sports and mixed them together.

And go get me a coffee.

And go skydiving and not hang out with me on a hike

And hash that'll make you feel like you're on mushrooms.

And have a 42 blunt salute

And have a little fun.

And have fun again.

And have your stupid awesome party.

And he convinced you into a transfer.

And he just he messed up, and he tattooed the whole photo.

And he shall be playing the role of McBreath, our hero.

And he's circling those sales.

And he's gonna inspire us to be great men

And I "diddler" on the bus, is what I did.

And I accidentally yelled the F word

And I cannot wait to see the look on my ex wife's face

And I checked Brazzers,

And I checked the safety course scores,

And I didn't think it was that

And I didn't turn out to be a any, uh, degenerate.

And I don't know. Maybe I really got a winner.

And I got all those things.

And I got goose pimples up and down my arms.

And I have here $18,000.

And I just ruined another Ders Day,

And I know for a fact, now we're better friends.

And I know how to take care of her.

And I left my kids alone in the car.

And I liked it more than this. Yeah.

And I made us a little mix tape.

And I really don't want to talk about it,

And I sawed its horn off.

And I shouldn't have to worry about protecting you, okay?

And I stay getting faves.

And I think the name McBreath is cool.

And I think you should start using your noodle,

And I think you're just jealous

And I thought of it 'cause I'm the leader.

And I took it from there.

And I took the photo in to show the tattoo artist,

And I tried PornTube, Fapdu, Youjizz, Jizzpros.

And I want to congratulate you

And I want you boys to be fully aware

And I wish you all the best.

And I wrote "valuable electronics:

And I...

And I'll be ready to hang my thang.

And I'll FaceTime Pauly.

And I'll give you another crack at the shrimp buffet

And I'll give you another shot at that shrimp buffet

And I'm actually flattered you guys think I'm a cop.

And I'm calling to talk to you about your blobs. I

And I'm currently the highest bidder.

And I'm gonna call myself "Cypress Chill."

And I'm gonna get you your moola, huh?

And I'm gonna go to the other other side of the stage

And I'm gonna howl at the moon,

And I'm just squeezing through you.

And I'm like, "Bitch, you don't even know.

And I'm like, "Did I rescue her,

And I'm like, "Sunglasses inside

And I'm not talking about Dustin Diamond.

And I'm not talking about my phone number.

And I'm Randy for Andy. That's not his real name.

And I'm ready to care about my friends, all right?

And I'm sorry to talk about this in front of you.

And I'm starving.

And if anybody got a problem with it,

And if you win

And in the middle of the night,

And increase sales using the power of viral marketing.

And instead of sending it to her,

And is fully on the road to recovery,

And isn't tied down.

And it is not happening, okay?

And it is our job to make sure that every man,

And it landed on Jen D'Angelo.

And it looks like a black guy in a hoodie.

And it looks like we're almost out of old media paradigms.

And it means when women control things.

And it was then that I knew.

And it wasn't on xHamster, 8th St. Latinas,

And it's a free for all with that box there.

And it's been three days, so I think I need first dibs, okay?

And it's cash only, so I'm out, actually.

And it's gonna be fun. Deer.

And it's not a good look on you.

And it's pretty cool for you to step up for the office, so...

And it's time that we accept that.

And just gave it to your girlfriend?

And just like this girl who seems like

And launch a full on recon

And let the other call the shots?

And let you think about that.

And let's go on inside and talk to real people, okay?

And me.

And no offense Package is at the house.

And not even in a mean way.

And not want to talk to you, no offense.

And now I can't leave the fricking house?

And now I just want to see my kids again.

And now it's just a waiting game.

And now you're bailing on them for some girl.

And on top of that, I, uh...

And open up shop right here and be your number one guy,

And other times I'll just, you know,

And perhaps getting a firsthand look at how drugs

And posted it on Vine.

And probably join his crew.

And put it through the sunroof of a moving vehicle.

And rage in the room, but we need to squash the beef and go.

And remember, next week: "A Walk With Dinosaurs"!

And right over here is...

And save the party and save the day.

And she makes this face at me.

And she was hideously ugly.

And she was singing her song, "Torn."

And she'll make it happen.

And she's gonna fold.

And sniff out some primo intel for you.

And so I was like, this deserves more than a repost,

And sometimes I like just chilling and not working out.

And sometimes I, like, smash, like, 42 beers.

And start being alpha lions.

And started using a loofah with Old Spice Swagger.

And steal me the presentation from Alice

And stretch my jaw out

And talk to them about their breasts?

And thank you for helping me out in there.

And thanks for the help today. Appreciate it.

And that is that I think things need to change,

And that sounds pretty dope, right?

And that we take safety very seriously.

And that's a yes!

And that's my story.

And that's the difference between us.

And that's what I'm gonna go do right now.

And the but, anyway, so, the plan...

And the Director is on his honeymoon,

And the home of the chill!

And the rest go to the manager,

And the Snuffleupagus puppet is basically the same size.

And the three of us can, you know,

And the word is "closers."

And then Ders is like, "That's the look."

And then guess what. While she's not looking...

And then he couldn't count.

And then I got a little boner

And then I got a little boner.

And then I got cocky and tried Periscope.

And then I'm just gonna pulse it, pulse it, pulse it.

And then saw through the bathroom floor.

And then swoops down on his zip line when the city needs him.

And then they just go up to them and just freaking scope

And then this girl, she showed me, uh, a pic of her jambos.

And then whoever's got the most Klout

And then, at night, he would he would, um...

And this is kind of embarrassing,

And this is my beautiful assistant, Magic Carl.

And this isn't even my good hand.

And to show that have a seat

And true playboy pimps for real.

And turn it into a tank top in less than a second.

And unless you get out now,

And vegan hot dogs in a hot sec.

And visualize the card.

And watch "The Dome," the door is right there.

And we are men! Yep.

And we bring sexy back.

And we don't sell tickets.

And we finally got time to smoke some weed on the clock.

And we have what you would call a "cyber romance."

And we know that she's not on her period.

And we need to finish

And we shall call this day "Thanksgiving."

And we should be treated as such.

And we were staying in the same room,

And we were wondering if you would like to join us

And we're all adults here. Mm hmm.

And we're bringing sexy to the timber sports.

And we're gonna use that $100 gift card

And we're here to tell you that you need to consider

And we're in business.

And we're not meat.

And we're true playboy pimps for real.

And what okay. Whoa!

And when she gets into her car after work,

And wings of a falcon. all: Yeah.

And wish you the best of luck, in all seriousness.

And wreaks vigilante justice upon the city.

And you can go lick off, Steve Martin.

And you didn't think that maybe you shouldn't

And you don't got to do all this to rule Black Twitter, okay?

And you just get ready to give me that lap dagger.

And you just wiggle it...

And you know he's hogged out.

And you know what that means, right?

And you know what?

And you make the pussy queef.

And you must be Ders and Adam.

And you start making those sales, guess what.

And you want to be rewarded that's right, rewarded.

And you,

And you, you look like

And you'll probably end up dying of regret cancer,

And you're getting good at that, man.

And you're on the wrong side of it.

And YouPorn. I know.

And, also, I'm making a personal call to my father.

And, boys, I'm buying what you're selling.

And, like, total have, like, anxiety

And, uh, again, we are... Nailed it.

And, uh, I enjoy Phil Collins hits and Tom Collins mix.

And, uh, when I first walked through the doors

And, you know, beer and mushrooms

Anders: Oh, oh!

Anders: This isn't cash.

Anders: Welcome to my casino.

Anders: You got bluffed.

Angela enters.

Answer me!

Are at risk unless you send $500 now"?

Are we really about to have this manversation?

Are we talking kumquats or g****fruits?

Are you going to freestyle rap, though?

Are you high right now?

Are you kidding me? Seven different roles.

Are you ready to rip?

Are you sure this is it?

Around here, man.

As a bargaining chip for Frank and get the house back.

As my assistant,

As the thrilling conclusion of

As well as sushi strippers for all you boys and girls.

As you know, I've been cursed... Mm hmm.

As you know, the house always wins.

Asshole!

At my last run of "Hedwig and the Angry Inch"

At the Museum of Science and History.

At the Native American exhibit.

At the Rancho Playhouse?

At the Rancho Playhouse.

At your service!

Awesome.

Awkward, creepy, and with total sales of zero.

Axed, and corporate sends us their business.

Back to me, her master,

Bam, done. Okay.

Bangbros, Mofos, Rancho [bleep], PornHub,

Barging in here with these whores

Battling the high seas, and then...

Be the bigger man.

Be there! Okay!

Beat Ass. I don't like that.

Because bee problem down there.

Because he spent his money on expensive heart medication,

Because he's broke

Because I actually have a meeting with Karl

Because I am a Viking!

Because I am crazy, right? Oh, yeah!

Because I could totally get chicks like this, right?

Because I didn't like that last one.

Because I have to go poo poo.

Because I want to be surprised.

Because I went to private school.

Because I'm calling the police.

Because if everybody passes their online safety course,

Because if you did, you wouldn't be dressed like sluts

Because if you do not do that, you are fired.

Because it came out in just one

Because it is symbolic of our friendship.

Because it took a lot of money to ship all that loose change.

Because it's gonna be pretty hard for her to refuse my love

Because Mommy has got to have fun too.

Because my Klout Score is ruined.

Because of the little stunt these three morons pulled

Because our investment went global,

Because that bitch likes to ride the ride.

Because the Boobillows were so highly flammable.

Because the way you are treating us is like used meat,

Because this is America, the land of the free

Because this is, hands down, the worst Ders Day of all time.

Because today just butt [bleep] you up the ass!

Because today we're no longer MenCo.

Because we know who you are.

Because we must show respect for Dan Yella, right?

Because we were saved by some guys.

Because you are a mature all American conservative.

Because you are its daddy and it is a little baby.

Because you don't lead us good, okay?

Because you just blew a six year

Because you're chewing. You don't just swallow.

Because, you know, bird dicks are notoriously hard to locate.

Because...I'm a boyfriend now.

Before the big meeting today.

Before you go home, you.

Before you hit the road and don't come back.

Begins now.

Behind us and have a burial...together.

Being black and wearing a hoodie is not a crime, okay?

Believe me, I tried.

Below average or, ideally, a micro penis is perfect.

Besides our moms.

Beth!

Beth?

Better yet, why doesn't one of you take the high road

Big boner pretty big boner.

Big Gil dog.

Big ones, small ones, girthy ones,

Bill didn't come through with the moola.

Billion Man March.

Bit me in the neck! So, Didi, you're gonna

Blake has told me so much about you guys.

Blake is out of town currently.

Blake, can I see you in the kitchen for a moment?

Blake, hit 'em with it!

Blake, let's go home and try

Blake, most of all, thank you.

Blake, will you do me the honor

Blake, you're real!

Blake: I'll tell you what.

Blake: Okay, Ders, look,

Blake's Day rules. Adam's Day rules.

Blake's hurt, man. Yeah, didn't you hear him?

Blasting out content, jacking up hits, stacking up followers.

Blood, sugar, sex, magic.

Bodysuit wearing, natural black, hairy ass.

Bootstraps.

Both you guys suck.

Both: Beta, beta, beta.

Both: Brian Henson! Brian Henson!

Both: Denny's.

Both: Happy holidays.

Both: Happy holidays.

Both: Hoo rah! Hoo rah, hoo rah! Hoo rah!

Both: No! Shh!

Both: Ooh rah!

Both: Periscope.

Both: So you've never actually met her?

Both: Thank you.

Both: To the 'Vo!

Brian Henson!

Bring down the biggest drug kingpin in Rancho.

Burned bras in the '70s to be hot,

Bus ride hookup.

Bus ride hookups.

But I don't know, man.

But actually, I want to move the spotlight

But also an honor, your honor, to help

But as you know, millennials are a huge emerging demo.

But because I choose not to from now on.

But beer for my buddy.

But come back tomorrow with your ticket stubs for refunds,

But delete whatever he told you to be, okay?

But everyone calls me McBreath.

But for now, I'm fine.

But for now, let's just keep you at my, like, number 20 guy.

But for now, you're a floater.

But Frank Oz was a nightmare to work with.

But go ahead and take off your blindfolds and look up.

But he seems... pretty cool.

But he's got, like, a bunch of old man makeup on and a wig.

But here's my selfie stick, and you guys can play with that.

But I actually don't have time,

But I always say, when life tries to hard boil you,

But I am [bleep] blind over here!

But I can't believe you're so stupid, 'cause a girl

But I do know that there's about to be a falcon debut

But I do not have time, okay?

But I don't want to lose me to it.

But I even dated Carrot Top.

But I guarantee you it was written by an American.

But I have a very shallow cervix.

But I neutralized my sexuality, so I don't care.

But I shall thank you and your people

But I sprayed the stuff, so I can't feel a thing.

But I suppose the truth

But I think you know what I was about to say,

But I thought it was an appropriate time to laugh.

But I will die for you guys!

But I'm gonna get our money back no doubt.

But I'm sick of worrying about my followers,

But if any of this lands in "VICE" magazine...

But if we mess it up,

But if you want to be a phone beast

But in the 11th century.

But it was a whole bunch.

But it was done in a tasteful fashion.

But it was good to see you.

But it was way better than the Taco Bell napkins

But it's okay 'cause I like to ride in ambulances.

But let's just get on the van before I change my mind, okay?

But like, this was a pretty fun one.

But luckily for you, you bought yourself a few extra minutes

But maybe what we have is is deeper than looks, okay?

But my old teacher's using it, so just give him a minute.

But my superhero name is Dr. Heals good.

But please send me more money before it's too late, my love."

But real quick, just want to officially announce

But really, it's a heist tool

But recently, I signed up for Ashley Madison 'cause

But she is sexy.

But sorry, the beef is squashed!

But the only thing is,

But then I found paw prints outside my apartment,

But then I get to keep the tape.

But then you shove it in, right? And then it just bites the meat.

But there's Botox to take care

But they like it because it was an aggressive kiss,

But to make them is...

But tonight you're gonna be a little late,

But we are timber sports,

But we could probably cover half.

But we'll take care of that, right?

But we're gonna get some El Pollo Loco tacos.

But we're not a legal skydiving company.

But we're not going. That's right.

But what happened?

But who's the alpha dog now? [barks]

But with the male intimacy endurance spray,

But you drug addicts definitely have drugs, right?

But you got to just

But you guys are so busy fighting each other,

But you have to be 21 or older to play here.

But you're a [bleep] daddy.

But you're don't inspire that out of us.

But you're really pushing my buttons.

But you're still the same flake that you've always been.

But, like, badasses who can knock a deer out

But, like, I put like seven of them in the whole thing, so,

But, unfortunately, FemCo is taking full responsibility,

But, yeah.

But, you know, maybe I thought you guys, my alpha dogs,

Butts rule. They do. They rock.

By feasting and giving strength.

By stuffing it full of toilet paper.

By the way, the whole makeup thing, dude, that's got to go.

Bye bye, Linda. I'm doing meth.

Bye bye. And birdwatching.

Bye, Pauly. Bye, JP.

Bye.

Bye. Bye bye.

Ca caw! Ca caw!

Called the Wicky Wild Boys, but maybe we should put this back.

Can get stoned,

Can I gamble that?

Can I get it?

Can I have one moment? No.

Can one of you go make me a grilled cheese?

Can some can we talk to the prop master?

Can we go, please? I need to smoke a bowl.

Can you believe these marks in there?

Can you unzip?

Can't hear you. Going to sleep.

Can't live with 'em, can't...

Can't wait for those chickens to come home to roost.

Cancelled.

Captain Stabbin, or Mike in Brazil.

Car trouble, my love."

Car trouble, my love"?

Changing 5,000. Whoo!

Check it out. So I've just been in this bidding war

Check it out. Yeah. Wow.

Chill Sergeant DeMamp

Chinese, Japanese, dirty knees, look at these.

Chocolate for you, chocolate for you.

Clitoris is on the top of the kiwi.

Closes in a half hour, we're gonna close early

Colleen has been watching me like a hawk.

Come on, aren't you guys excited?

Come on, Bill.

Come on, get down, okay.

Come on, it's gonna be super fun.

Come on, let's move it.

Come on, please!

Come on, we got to go. We're gonna be late.

Come on!

Come on! I'm coming!

Come on! Turn the music up, bud!

Come on.

Come on.

Come out to the parking lot.

Come, follow me. What?

Comes faster every year, you know?

Congratulations. Whatever, man.

Consistency and leadership.

Cool boat! I love it! Yeah!

Cool? All right. All right. Okay.

Copy that? Yeah.

Corporate now wants us to take an online safety course,

Correct?

Could have been Cabela's, but the chicks were super hot.

Cover his ears.

Cracked open in the Rancho heat?

Crazy talented.

Criss Angel.

Cushing Ward. We used to work here together.

Cushing will take over Van Nuys.

Cypress Chill's about to take stage.

Daddy's gonna go party, all right?

Damn it. He's going for the freeway.

Dan Yella. This is cool.

Dan: We're starting.

Dang!

Dark, meth dealer.

Dear Lord, bless these fingers once more.

Deedee, killer blouse.

Definitely, cool. Oh, okay. I'll take one. Boom.

Delete Uh, Alice?

Delete that. Feel good.

Delete your apps! Yeah!

Delete your apps! Yes.

DeMampsa, what up, bro?

Denny's home, so you'll be seeing a lot more of me.

Denny's was left for dead in a dumpster,

Denny's?

Ders Day... [makes sad sound]

Ders Days, yes, they do suck. Usually.

Ders, do something. You

Ders, is it too hot to handle?

Ders, will you just give me one little finger, please?

Ders, you better get a bunny wabbit or something,

Ders, you like that, huh?

Ders: Yo, boss.

Destroy old media paradigms

Diane, would you mind getting this angel some chips?

Did he have, like, an accident?

Did I upset you that much?

Did she poop on you?

Did you boys get fired already?

Did you come at me?

Did you do this?

Did you get it? Yep, yep, yep.

Did you move the moola?

Ding dong, the Weasel's [bleep] dead.

Disaster potential.

Disguised as a lame thing only losers have.

Do I DM with Rainn Wilson on the reg?

Do I need to frickin' throw down right now?

Do not take that bet.

Do not touch" on it.

Do you care about the happiness of your children?

Do you even know how many naps we've taken today?

Do you find me attractive?

Do you have a hookup?

Do you have any idea how much time we waste here

Do you have any money that I could borrow?

Do you know how ridiculous it would be

Do you not want to go on the field trip, dude?

Do you want a cup for it? That's a dirty cup though.

Doesn't mean you got to get rid of your whack stash.

Doing dumb ass beatbox competitions?

Doing this, but you aren't giving me a choice.

Don't Ah!

Don't forget these.

Don't make me use my muscles!

Don't tell me.

Don't you

Don't you ever bring up Jake.

Don't you throw the nice plastic plates!

Doubt it.

Dr. Heals Good, let me borrow Chester for a second.

Dr. Jerry Larryberry.

Drink a little vino?

Driving my old shitty car, not this car.

Drop in a real, live gerbil, kill it?

Drugs?

Drugs?

Dude, any luck?

Dude, are you insane? You can't steal from the museum!

Dude, did you have, like, a card up your sleeve

Dude, I didn't think you'd be able to do it this way.

Dude, I got a girl's number yesterday.

Dude, I knew this job was gonna be a complete dookie fountain.

Dude, it's a field trip.

Dude, she's bleeding you dry.

Dude, we have a pact. Oh, get me there.

Dude, you're a dummy you don't even have any cool moves.

Dude. Sticky, right?

Dude's dick burned off!

Dudes, you want to step in here? No.

Eat boxing.

Eat that, Christopher Columbus, right?

End of story.

Erin is real! What are you doing?

Erin, it's

Especially in Rancho.

Especially since I'm the one

Even though I know you hate museums,

Ever since I saw the play you wrote,

Everybody out now.

Everybody, please back up.

Everyone back inside.

Everyone get into the parking lot now!

Everything that's wrong with you as a so called "leader."

Everything was going so well.

Ew, that's not a good look on you.

Ew!

Excellent. You have a nice day too.

Except for I don't. I'm lying to you.

Except for not "Cypress Chill."

Except instead of real guns, we're using finger guns.

Exciting stuff!

Excuse me, sales angels!

Excuse me.

Excuse me.

Explosives expert.

EZ Egger.

Fancy Feast.

Farmers, chickens, eggs.

Feel free to bend my ear, and

Feel good?

Fell asleep while waiting to pick me up from school.

FemCo! Huh?

Finally we get "oogled" and ogled

Finger skateboard.

Flip a coin. Or you know what?

For a meth addict, to be honest with you.

For Beth's first trick, she shall fly through the kitchen,

For days, we've been held down by the matriarchy...

For me to have sex with big guys.

For no good reason.

For ruining our rehearsal, you idiots.

For setting the office on fire,

For seven, eight hours a day

For starters, I'd eat fresh meat.

For the compliment on the T shirt.

For the corn and the blankets.

For years, we've had products such as...

For your whole life,

For, like, about an hour.

Frank, sorry, I'm out, okay? You guys.

Frank: I'll tell you what.

Frank: Technically, you do.

Frankly, it was really freaking hot.

Freakin' hard.

Fresh mail. Hot off the boat. Thank you.

Friends don't let friends get haircuts.

From drinking the smoothest 2014 Brosé Mangria you ever had.

From other departments to take over your call lists.

From the Mangria, ladies.

Frozen...

Full time at TAC Van Nuys.

Gas was shut off. Power too.

Gave me the inside scoop a week ago,

Gently massage the clitoris.

Get back to to work.

Get changed.

Get down, you little bitches.

Get in here. Thank you.

Get it just write it in my little notebook.

Get over here and work my neck, girl.

Get ready to soar once again.

Get that out of the way.

Get the Wicky Wild Boys Crew back together.

Get them! They're bad boys!

Get this gold off of my neck.

Get to the back of the house pronto.

Getting turnt up?

Gil is my new assistant.

Give her hell.

Give me a notification, baby. Come on.

Give me my selfie stick. Let's go.

Go away, go away, go away!

Go back in your room and crank it down.

Go get her. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Go get your girl, boy.

Go home. Don't leave me in here!

Go to Tina's Tacos. They're the best.

Go, Chicago Bliss.

Go, go, go!

Go, go, go!

Go, go, go. Jillian: Hey, who's out there?

Go! Go! Butts to the wall!

Go. Mm hmm, okay.

Go. Go this way. Go. Ow!

Go. Go. Bail me out. Bail me out.

Go. He's coming. He's coming. I know. Okay.

God made us for each other!

God, I can't believe we're here.

God, it was so hot.

Gone soft, Frank.

Good for the skin.

Good to meet you, dude.

Good year. Good year.

Goons the [beep] Eater strikes again, man.

Great birdwatching.

Great stuff from almost all of you.

Great. All right, take care.

Guess it wasn't a weight sensor.

Guys, I'm sorry I dragged you here

Guys, we have got to get the $3,000

Had to borrow a spare from my main man, Rob.

Hang 'em up.

Happening in a few. That is true.

Happy Epic Ders Day, Erik the Red.

Happy holidays, okay? Tell your wife I said hello.

Happy holidays.

Happy holidays.

Happy holidays. both: Happy holidays.

Has a dinosaur party at 8:00 p.m.?

Has quite the embarrassing tattoo.

Hasn't spoken a word. He's tuckered out.

Have died tragically, you know?

Have I left over 20,000 Yelp reviews?

Have sex with 'em, 'cause they don't like me.

Have to suck on my neck too.

Have you heard of him? No.

Have you seen my EZ Egger?

He also was an ex spy on the run from the government.

He cheated. Oh, really?

He could he could sell sand to Sandra Bullock,

He could be a dentist or a judge

He goes dirt biking in the desert on Saturdays.

He hasn't been the same since you left.

He looked like French Montana, actually.

He probably should've gotten in the ambulance.

He raids our fields at night,

He smells like shit. Yeah.

He was like, "Don't believe in museums or any of that.

He was, like, a really cool guy.

He'd [bleep] my mom.

He'd also make me chop a lot of firewood

He's a drill sergeant in the army.

He's a hammerhead.

He's a liar. No, I'm not.

He's completely gone rogue.

He's gonna go get twisted!

He's got a concussion. He's fine, dude.

He's just scratching his beard. "What am I thinking of?"

He's like he's like isn't he

He's like my hero.

He's not gonna be a bitch about it and go to the hospital

He's our porn daddy. He taught me how to bone.

He's right. Really?

He's trying to steal my love away from me, Ders.

Heck, yeah. Sure, we could

Hello, hi, uh, yes, uh, Mrs. Wilson?

Hello, ma'am?

Hello?

Hello? Hello?

Hello. Excuse me.

Her cells are just too oxygenated.

Herb Ritts shoot these?

Here is $800 for you.

Here we go.

Here we go. Oh, look at it go!

Here you go, here.

Here, take this.

Here's a great example of what might happen

Here's a little coming attraction

Here's the this is the real meaning of 4/20.

Heroism is man business.

Hey, Alice, these guys over here are doing drugs.

Hey, Ders, uh, if you could just kind of

Hey, do we can we still get drinks if we're out of moneys?

Hey, dude, when did you see my dick hard?

Hey, guys. Question.

Hey, ho, cat in the dog house.

Hey, just let me know if you need anything from me

Hey, men! This is this is DeMamp.

Hey, Mr. Buckley, I have the perfect role.

Hey, never forget 9/11.

Hey, no spoilers, but this thing's

Hey, there's no way you've had more sex than me!

Hey, uh, noticed you hadn't connected with me on LinkedIn.

Hey, what do you guys say we liven this game up,

Hey, what do you say we squash the beef?

Hey, what if I....

Hey, what up? That's so many.

Hey, you guys need to clear out of here.

Hey, you know what I was thinking?

Hey.

Hey. Hello.

Hi, 911?

Hi, Alice. Question

Hi.

Hi. Uh, my name's Anders Holmvik,

High stakes pokey.

His lower thigh's really starting to hurt from perching.

Hit us with it.

Hmm? Doesn't sound very American to me, does it?

Hold on.

Hold on. Hold on.

Homeless Mike, are you okay?

Honestly say that we're better people for it.

Honey, can you call the dogs?

Honey, I love you. I love our marriage.

Honor. Okay. Yeah, no.

Hopefully we can put an end to this Rancho drug war

How are you?

How do we wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

How do you let a piece like that go?

How many do you want? Ten? They're yours.

How the Boobillow breast pillow rest

How unfortunate to hear about all the Internet backlash,

How'd I know? Go ahead and pick a card, Waymond.

Huh? Huh? Yeah!

Huh. Okay.

Hyuh!

I pretty much empty down there after the whole you know what.

I actually feel very, very bad about this.

I actually have seen your dick hard. Okay...

I already told you this. He perches high above the city,

I am a bitch.

I am an actor, I mean,

I am Sales Team Six!

I am so not into this. Yeah.

I am the king.

I am the resident magician, Magic Blake,

I ate a puppy.

I bet you feel good, don't you?

I bet you're used to eating garbage all day. Come here.

I can already tell. Lookit.

I can heal people with the greatest medicine of all,

I can relate because I recently lost four pounds

I can't believe Ders took us to the museum.

I can't believe you're all together IRL.

I can't breathe!

I can't do that if we're going to Rancho Hills.

I can't feel nothing.

I can't take this anymore. It's true, man.

I can't wait to see the helmets

I care so little. Yeah.

I carried the saw the whole way, so I should get to saw first.

I could go for some...

I could really sink my teeth into this.

I couldn't find "The Nutting Professor,"

I curse you with all the venom of my heart!

I curse you, Jen D'Angelo!

I dare you, fire me. Fire me!

I didn't I'm not the one who called in a bomb threat.

I didn't know that when I sent the dick pic.

I didn't know what you were talking about.

I didn't know your work friends were here.

I didn't mind all the pubes.

I do, and that's just a fact.

I don't believe we've met.

I don't care if your [bleep] mom dies today!

I don't care, actually, at all!

I don't even know what it means, but I salute it.

I don't even think he was in the CIA, truthfully.

I don't give a [bleep].

I don't got a tiny spaghetti dick either.

I don't have a problem, okay?

I don't know anything about that.

I don't know what you're calling yourself, you idiot.

I don't know, what if I take you guys skydiving?

I don't know.

I don't know. Ow! Ow, my eyes! They hurt!

I don't like it when the meat stops being chewy, right?

I don't think I'm wearing enough padding,

I don't think my wrist will ever walk again.

I don't think so.

I don't want any of it. It's all up for grabs.

I don't want him to die.

I don't want to seem like a creep.

I don't want you to take offense to that.

I drive that Range Rover.

I even tried Sublime Directory.

I fainted, and I had to go to the doctor.

I feel all warm and fuzzy. Hey, and guess what.

I feel like I can still smell it or something.

I feel like my comedy senses are, like, heightened.

I feel super sorry for her.

I freakin' carry a photo of him in my pocket.

I get her on the weekdays. You get the weekends.

I get hurt all the time.

I get, like, really, like, stressed

I give to him.

I got a cool move.

I got a girl on here who wants to buy two Boobillows

I got great news.

I got hot eyes. Yeah, dude, come on.

I got some paint, marshmallow paw prints.

I got the shortest straw, didn't I, when I got you?

I got to feed my Tamagotchi.

I got to go. Okay. Okay.

I got you.

I got your daughter a bounce house, man!

I gotta get some fresh air really quick.

I guess have some toast.

I guess I should go.

I guess I'll play.

I guess I'm like a country club bad boy, right?

I guess Montez had, like, a really big dong or something.

I guess so. Army of one.

I guess you guys are gonna have to come pick it up.

I had 20 followers on Twitter,

I had no idea.

I had to go harvest ditch weed off of exit 311.

I hate you, Ders!

I hate you, I hate you!

I hate you! I got to go, Karl.

I hate you.

I have a better idea.

I have a son!

I have a very big presentation coming up now.

I have literally nothing.

I have one cat,

I have to arrest you.

I heard that's good.

I hope you both die before I walk through this door.

I hope you get your money back. I will.

I just nah.

I just didn't think Blake would be the one in it.

I just didn't want to walk all the way over there.

I just feel like I've always grown up

I just have to get something off my chest.

I just kind of bet it all.

I just thought of something cool.

I karate chop my head through a vodka infused candied ham.

I know my

I know that Jillian is on the phones now,

I know that voice.

I know that'll be the initial feeling.

I know you don't want to talk about it,

I know you have a plan for me.

I know you're in the middle of a mental breakdown.

I know you're in there, drugs!

I laid Denny's out that night to bury in the morning.

I like a man bun...

I like getting weird, and I like working out.

I like that. That's cool. Yeah.

I like, uh, doing all kinds of stuff.

I lip synched Cypress Hill for, like, five hours?

I love animals.

I love my life, and dare I say I love my friends?

I love our family, our house, all our possessions.

I love terrorizing animals. Ooh.

I love timber sports. You know that about me.

I love you so much. All right.

I loved you!

I made a sale.

I made one stupid film, and now I've spent all these years

I mean

I mean [whispering indistinctly]

I mean they were everywhere. I didn't care.

I mean what a porn star. Yeah, absolutely.

I mean why do you want a cup for your hater ade?

I mean, Blake, you're a super chill millennial teen,

I mean, cool. Yeah, what is the problem?

I mean, I have to, like, warm up.

I mean, I'm in love.

I mean, last Ders Day sucked.

I mean, look at this is insane.

I mean, nothing really rides like a Toyota Corolla.

I mean, she's a little dirty,

I mean, sure, the caffeine turned me into a sales beast

I mean, that's sick. That is sick.

I mean, there's mummies downstairs.

I mean, we do this, those guys get canned.

I mean, we used to just be three best friends

I mean, we were just smoking weed.

I mean, we were sport [bleep] for a while there

I mean, you promised an entire office

I mean, you should see me frisk.

I mean, you're like, basically the main reason

I mean, your followers should buy whatever you tell them.

I mean, your tampon can just fly out of you.

I need this, okay? Uh, that's my seat.

I own that car. Yep.

I posted it on the Instagram.

I put up numbers.

I really love you. Yeah.

I recently lost myself to meth once again,

I said get back, get back, get back, get back, get back!

I said some things.

I said, see you later, boy.

I say Ders Day...

I sent all $800 to Erin, my love, in the mail.

I shall burn this Boobillow for men's rights!

I should've known, because I know those tits.

I spilled a little coffee on myself.

I stole some things from Dean.

I suggest that you don't, 'cause that's a good hand.

I suggest you stop playing dress up!

I sure will miss that cubicle, though.

I switched with Gary.

I think I beat up a woman.

I think I just found my...

I think I'll name her Beth.

I think I'm gonna have some dumb girl

I think it's necessary

I think my package got delivered to your office by mistake.

I think the police are on their way.

I think this is, like, real life, Mr. Buckley.

I think we got another beatboxer in the office.

I think we got to keep this fish on the hook.

I think we're just glad to see you back

I thought I was your number one.

I thought these things were CGI.

I thought you wanted to be epic.

I told corporate this was non negosh.

I told my boss that some cop

I told you I wasn't crazy. [laughs]

I totally forgot. No, he doesn't.

I trained her to do such.

I tried to hold a contest for sickest tank pic of the day,

I turned to drugs.

I used to date this chick in the Navy.

I used to jerk off to a Sears catalog all the time.

I wanna show you something.

I want 200 more sales by 8:00 tonight.

I want my stuff back, buddy.

I want the three of you

I want this to be great for you,

I want to record your faces when you find out

I want us to be open, and I want us to share together

I want you to be samurai telemarketing [bleep] warriors!

I want you to just go up and down,

I wanted the same tat as my granddaddy,

I wanted to just say something to the women of this office,

I was also at Ed's Jug House,

I was driving and texting.

I was gonna call myself the "Chill Sergeant."

I was gonna give y'all a beta invite

I was hoping that me and you could

I was just talking about gay people. Now I'm ruined.

I was like, "Wow, Ders,

I was on vaycay with my parents,

I was taught by my mom's special friend,

I was the only student.

I was wondering if yours is working and if maybe

I was wondering why you were using it.

I went to that bar, Ed's Jug House, to score,

I will break you!

I will fudging end you.

I will have a casualty. Who, hm?

I will rip off your head and fudge it down your neck.

I will ruin you and your whole squadron!

I will take moola from you.

I will walk you to the ATM.

I win, you guys get the hell out of our house.

I wish I could see.

I wish. That'd be awesome.

I woke up to a screech.

I wonder who would be dumb enough to send

I work in phone sales like a dummy.

I would like a glass of your smoothest red wine.

I would run through a brick wall for you,

I, like, can't wait to see what you guys do.

I, like, fractured it in, like, six places.

I, uh, probably gonna need something

I'd even go to say, uh...

I'd love to just pick your brain about acting, right?

I'd love to peg you with it. Oh...

I'd love to run some stats by you.

I'd love to.

I'd probably get all of our moolah back by sunrise,

I'd probably still be living with a bunch of dudes,

I'd rather be anywhere else.

I'd rather watch do sex. Yeah.

I'd say maybe try the neighborhood watch,

I'll be a distraction.

I'll be epic 'cause it's Ders Day!

I'll be like, "You mean mugging me?

I'll be watching all of you.

I'll be watching you.

I'll break everything that you own!

I'll break their face, you understand me?

I'll cash out now, fellas, if you don't mind.

I'll explain to her everything, and I'll get the moola back.

I'll freaking text Karl, have him film it.

I'll get you on TMZ tonight.

I'll make a sale. Yeah, I mean Oh, yeah, come on.

I'll see you around? Yeah.

I'll show it to you too, Blake...

I'll sue you.

I'll take them if you want.

I'll take your chips. I'll take your chips.

I'll tell you what he's thinking of:

I'm a catfisher. I catfish You're the catfisherman.

I'm a chill sergeant. Yeah.

I'm a friend of Blake's.

I'm a journalist.

I'm a man.

I'm a normal guy now.

I'm about to aggressively kiss a girl by surprise.

I'm actually left handed. [strums banjo]

I'm an idiot 'cause you're a bozo.

I'm Angela.

I'm bidding on another copy of "The Nutting Professor."

I'm Blake's friend,

I'm calling it "counter ho gramming."

I'm calling it a "feast of strength."

I'm definitely finger banging a TelAmeri vag.

I'm disappointed in you.

I'm doing it, yeah. No, don't.

I'm done. What?

I'm excited to work here.

I'm fine!

I'm getting hungry.

I'm getting, like, a real "Ballers" vibe from you, man.

I'm going ow! You stepped on my foot.

I'm going all in, punks.

I'm going speed skating after work.

I'm gonna beat the shit out of this girl right here.

I'm gonna beat your ass, dude. Yeah.

I'm gonna beat your ass!

I'm gonna beat your ass!

I'm gonna beat your ass.

I'm gonna devote my life to it.

I'm gonna die!

I'm gonna do anything else. You've got to pinch it.

I'm gonna fight one of these women right here.

I'm gonna film a new Instagram video where

I'm gonna get this place fricking on fire, dude.

I'm gonna go get my lube.

I'm gonna have to ask you to leave.

I'm gonna kill you! I'm gonna kill you.

I'm gonna Roller skate 2: The New Class out of an airplane.

I'm gonna s stand.

I'm gonna stack some Klout points and go to Havasu solo.

I'm gonna take full advantage

I'm gonna take you on a nature hike.

I'm gonna track down me a little animal hater.

I'm gonna try it.

I'm gonna try to contact my father.

I'm gonna walk away and avoid any kind

I'm good at it, so I could just

I'm good off that. For real?

I'm having a big day, actually.

I'm her sister.

I'm I'm actually pretty lonely.

I'm into ladies' football.

I'm Juliette. It's all good.

I'm just a chick with a plane who used to bang your sister!

I'm just calling to talk to you about your tits.

I'm just gonna do the whole yup.

I'm just older, and I grew my hair out.

I'm just saying it's really, really hard

I'm just sort of above that kind of behavior, you know?

I'm just wondering if there's anything fun

I'm just, like, a super chill laid back dude,

I'm kidding. Of course I knew.

I'm left handed.

I'm loving it.

I'm Magic Blake, in house entertainment.

I'm mean muggin you, my my man, my ma "

I'm never gonna be as cool as Juliette.

I'm not a cop, okay?

I'm not a cop.

I'm not a piece of meat!

I'm not dying to meet it or anything.

I'm not lying, okay? I have nothing to lie about.

I'm not mad.

I'm on, like, everything social media,

I'm out the game. It's been a long time.

I'm ruining my belt now. Great.

I'm saying obviously, he could be anybody.

I'm serious when I say we can never show our faces

I'm smoking it right now, and I am...

I'm so excited to be following @Dersmerica

I'm so sorry. Chester, please.

I'm sorry for dragging us away from the package.

I'm sorry, I don't remember your name,

I'm sorry, I like my porn stars with acting chops.

I'm sorry, what do you think this is?

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I couldn't hear.

I'm starving.

I'm stressing. I thought I was your man?

I'm talking rollerblading, I'm talking skateboard combined

I'm talking strawberry Quik, decaf coffee, and Red Bull.

I'm texting her, inviting her to the party

I'm the man. I lead you, sweetheart.

I'm the one who's gonna be slipping Didi my digits.

I'm the plan maker now, alpha dog style.

I'm too big to be back here.

I'm trying to hop back in, so I'm wondering

I'm with Ders. Let's roll. Okay.

I'm worried about Adam.

I'm writing a story about meth abuse.

I'm, like, exhausted. Now he wants us to work late?

I'm, like, way too big to be

I've always wanted to to have a taste.

I've arranged a special beef tenderloin lunch

I've been a freegan for two months now.

I've been brushing my teeth with.

I've been looking all morning.

I've been looking forward to that fart.

I've been manipulating Alice my entire life, all right?

I've been splurging at the new titty bar...

I've been trading bread for nudes with my neighbors,

I've got 20 inch blades on my Impala, okay?

I've got a bad feeling about this.

I've got a couple of tied down raccoons

I've got actual in charge type work to do.

I've got history.

I've had a bunch taken recently.

I've now been bit, the venom is coursing through me.

If anything, Rancho's meth problem

If I find out you guys start running another table

If I get one more concussion, I'll get brain damage.

If I win, you pretend to be Blake,

If I'ma get through this meeting; for real, though.

If Instagram didn't just shut down my account.

If it wasn't for him,

If she bombs it and I look great,

If someone doesn't suck the venom out soon,

If that's okay.

If that's what your heart believes.

If we could watch you bone one last time, Mr. Yella.

If we were all alphas, Blake.

If you feed 'em at work, they won't take an hour for lunch.

If you got any connects.

If you guys don't keep it down,

If you have a question, ask me."

If you took your tops off?

If you wanna go freaking skydiving, we'll go skydiving.

If you want to go home and you want to rip farts

If you wanted to, I don't know, like...

If you wore your hair up in a bun.

If you're gonna do meth, I actually would like

Imagine you and your friends on a Viking longship,

In fact, I came up with a cool name for our team:

In fact, I never realized how much you weighed us down.

In fact, last time I saw the moola,

In fact, we're amazing men now,

In fact, you're always yelling at us,

In five minutes.

In front of people, so...

In Lake Havasu to whoever has the highest Klout Score.

In Lake Havasu.

In most social situations.

In my mouth than eat their tacos.

In that tone, and I don't know why I'm in the kitchen.

In the mouth or something.

In the parking lot right now.

In the parking lot,

In the shadow of my sister.

In there, and wiggle it free.

In under three minutes with the EZ Egger.

In your whole life, sweetheart.

In!

Instead of this whole stupid shenanigan.

Is 16 smackeroos,

Is about to be a chick magnet.

Is getting arrested for being an idiot.

Is going to change your life.

Is he here?

Is how not mad are you at this beer mug?

Is it bleeding? It's fine.

Is it still, like, a little bent?

Is my legacy.

Is placing that deck very, very far away.

Is something wrong?

Is that a ficus?

Is that guy wants a crazy meth head.

Is that how you think you're supposed to finger a girl?

Is that what I need to do?

Is that what you want your legacy to be?

Is that what you want? No, what we don't snitch.

Is the Boobillow.

Is the number one problem facing the American penis today.

Is there anything that you want me to do, like, specifically?

Is this bamboo?

Is this bamboo?

Is to play music off my Bluetooth shower speakers

Is we should be like those dudes on YouTube

Isn't the cutest thing I've ever seen.

It could've been a nice day at the museum, but no!

It has a Chili's To Go. Okay.

It is his story. Adam...

It is...Kombucha.

It just fell right out.

It says people are not engaging with your brands.

It sucks, dude,

It tastes like Swamp Thing's dingleberries.

It turns out that, uh, Jillian here

It was a big boner. I don't have a little boner.

It was grazing free range by the couch.

It was just a porno tape. Oh.

It was May 29, 2001.

It was nice to meet you guys. Okay.

It was something about the eggnog.

It was stupid. I didn't mean it, all right?

It went back up in the deep butt.

It worked! It worked!

It'll get our Klout Scores right through the roof.

It's we replaced it

It's @The3BestFrandz, coming to you live on Periscope!

It's a it's a trigger for me, and I'm gonna go do meth.

It's a bunch of old crap put on mannequins.

It's a combo thing.

It's a Ders Day, baby! Yes!

It's about three miles away.

It's actually very typical of you.

It's Ad Rock, yeah, boy!

It's all Blake's fault! All right, fine.

It's all good, though.

It's all me, baby.

It's all my fault.

It's all stepmoms with pasties on their boobs...

It's all they have.

It's almost 5:00, right? We can go, right? Let's go.

It's an idea.

It's Anders All right, time's up.

It's bad juju, man. 'Cause it's fake, yeah.

It's basically like he has a phone attached to his head,

It's been a while since I've had a snake bite me.

It's brilliant, all right? Duh.

It's Dan Yella. He busts mad loads.

It's gonna be delivered to the office where

It's gonna be great.

It's gonna require a signature so no one can steal it.

It's gonna take me at least a half hour

It's good to be back.

It's inside of a TV/VCR from the '90s,

It's intense, you know, like, agh.

It's just wouldn't make sense, really.

It's just guy stuff. I mean, I'm fine with it.

It's just me thinking, visualizing, boring.

It's just this stuff, we don't

It's like

It's like a jackhammer just plugging away at a Realdoll,

It's like a test you take on Facebook,

It's like I can tell you anything.

It's like this is his first stakeout or something.

It's like you've never dealt before.

It's me, it's Blake Henderson. Oh, yes.

It's my pits. Yes. They reek.

It's no big whoop, right?

It's not bad, actually.

It's not here.

It's off limits, except for VIPs.

It's pretty tasty.

It's probably our guy, man. Oh, whoa.

It's show and tell, baby. Really?

It's so 4/20 friendly. Absolutely.

It's the craziest thing. Yeah, I know!

It's tick for tack.

It's time to fight back for men's rights.

It's too hot in here.

It's totally him,

It's trouble. What is wrong with you?

It's very small.

It's way worse than you think.

It's when you pull your cocky out

It's whoever's best at social media.

It's you.

It's, like, g****s or, like,

It's, like, so '90s.

Jake has a dad.

Jeez, get off my back.

Jeez. Hi. Hello.

Jerk it, please!" Yes. Thank you.

Jesus Christ, Bill.

Jesus, are you kidding me? Come on.

Jillian is a monster.

Jillian: What's going on? Go, go, go, go, go, go.

Jillian: Who's out there? both: Shh!

Jim Henson's life. Are they safe?

Jokester kind of guy, but also, like,

JP! Yeah! Van Nuys!

JP's blasting off a speech in ten.

Juliette, watch out for that cliff!

Jumping, jumping!

Junior, you play with that.

Just a whole different world over there.

Just as women...

Just call down to Shannon, the office manager.

Just dropped something off for Alice.

Just get to your cubicles

Just hard boil eggs

Just have just have two, like a a nice stout.

Just kind of watching us like a hawk, so...

Just leave it blocking the door.

Just look at these news boobies.

Just need some trash bags to sleep in is all.

Just so you can win some stupid family squabble?

Just so you guys would stop complaining

Just sounds more American for my brand.

Just spritz your member four times...

Just stay back. Give me the saw, all right?

Just take it, you idiots.

Just tell me what happened.

Just ten feet away from where your cat sleeps!

Just to be clear... Yes.

Just waiting to explode all around this place.

Just, like, go, you know what I mean?

Know what I mean? But I'll tell you what.

Knowing that you can't have children now.

Kyo tasha!

Ladies...

Later on this afternoon, so let's get to it.

Laughter.

Let her know what decor you prefer,

Let me guess, Waymond.

Let me help ya! You want to help me?

Let me in, ma'am, I got a vacuum to sell ya.

Let me introduce Sigourney.

Let's be on the right side of histor she.

Let's do this.

Let's get loose! Thanks, brother.

Let's go carjack.

Let's go freaking heist some stuff!

Let's go now.

Let's go ride or die, man,

Let's go skydiving. Guys. Come on, skydiving?

Let's go.

Let's go. All right, yeah.

Let's go. This way.

Let's just get out of here.

Let's just go look. All right.

Let's just say that Ders Day is not over yet.

Let's kick things off here with a foot job comp.

Let's kill your friend's cat.

Let's move it.

Let's ride.

Let's watch that again.

Letting your dogs do your dirty work?

Lights.

Like "Space Jam," "Doug," Lark Voorhies.

Like #bootyhadmelikehoo. Mm.

Like Ancestry dot yeah. No.

Like Daredevil or something.

Like history, or, you know, whatever.

Like Rube Goldberg, but it's "roof."

Like the beginning of some crude stag film,

Like, "Hey. What's up, bro?

Like, $40 worth of moola

Like, basically, it gets super aerated.

Like, clear as day from across the office.

Like, during the day he'd, like, teach me stuff

Like, five more minutes on the wine.

Like, if these were guy centric products, right,

Like, join the circus with your lasso dick.

Like, legally, you can't do that.

Like, my other senses are gonna be more on blast, right?

Like, not crank down until we get the movie?

Like, seriously, you should get yourself checked out.

Like, you big dicked freak show.

Linda: My name is Linda.

Link out with your dink out.

Lisa: Oh, I left my gloves in the car.

Listen, I'm gonna go get ready for dance class.

Little bitch.

Long and lean, baby. Long and strong.

Look at that bird. Havasu!

Look at this. Check this out.

Look how good I am at this. Get it, get it, get it.

Look like she just ran away, all right?

Look up there perform my illusion, see?

Look, if you're nervous, just use that emotion.

Lord, please let him land in the lake.

Luckily I never had to sip from that poisonous well

Luckily, all the saleswomen in the office killed it.

Made a Facebook page for Beat Ass.

Magic Carl just sexually assaulted my face.

Make it quick, you know?

Make sure it's going well.

Man, sometimes you just don't get a good hand,

Man: * Goin' to the casino

Maybe if I pretend to do methamphetamine drugs,

Maybe it's your attitude

Maybe some magic show, Siegfried and Roy,

Maybe take it to the bathroom, or

Maybe we could do a one time only

Me and B Rad just did a 12 hour shift at Spearmint Rhino.

Men rule. Men Whoa!

Men's intimacy endurance spray.

MenCo.

Mere seconds ago, she told me she wanted to butt fudge me

Mindfreak me, will ya?

Mine is actually the Gnargoyle.

Mine was more sad, though. Whoo!

Mm hmm.

Mm mmm. That's my tempo.

Mm, it's kind of embarrassing,

Mm! Smoking in Alice's office.

Mmm. That's not very good.

Mom, this giant Ken doll is annoying me.

Montez was, like, really good looking in high school.

More like "Blake, be there soon."

Most of you know me as the product rep from MenCo.

Mother[bleep] Ders Day! Yeah!

Mr. Buckley character?

Mr. Buckley: Hey, you suck [bleep] [bleep].

Mr. Buckley: Then we got a double [bleep]

Murder trial, please, and we're students.

Museum's so desperate to seem cool

Museums, they give me the willies, man.

My aunt had a large chested friend named Bonnie,

My breath smelled like McDonald's cheeseburgers.

My condolences for your children.

My eye itches.

My face on the cover of "VICE" magazine.

My good friend,

My love told me that she is going to mail me the money.

My name's Anders Holmvik, and I'm calling to tell you how

My new favorite cape.

My weird teeth, my stupid hair, my itchy butt,

Nada, zero, zilch, nothing, okay?

Nah, this cat [bleep]. Yes.

Nausea, memory loss, mood swings.

Neither of us are going to Lake Havasu now.

Newest member of the Beat Ass squad, The Total Package.

Next person. Please, please.

Next Wednesday, my love.

Nice and frothy. Mmm. Mmm.

Ninth grade, yeah.

Nip smokers and a pigeon [bleep]?

No audition required.

No beef. Extra squash.

No cell phones. Adam: Okay, cool.

No means yes?

No offense, but you've been catfished, okay?

No one wants to party rock at your house tonight.

No reason to panic.

No, go harder.

No, go have fun with Unkie Adam and Unkie Ders.

No, I am done covering for you, okay?

No, I want Didi! Stop!

No, I'd like to play too. Okay.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no!

No, no, no, spread the legs more.

No, not while I'm handling firearms,

No, wait, a weedcon

No! No!

No! No!

No?

No?

No?

No? Okay.

No. He's rushing. Not my porno.

No. She's looking in the slot.

No. What? I brought you here...

Nope, you're gonna want to

Nope. It went back up.

Normally what I say here, I want to stay here,

Not at Ed's Jug House, you understand?

Not everybody's dummies, okay?

Not everything has to be a remake.

Not my porno. She's cute.

Not some whore mongering night owl!

Not your heart.

Nothing better than sitting in a spa

Nothing to see, really, over here.

Now now don't act cold or sad.

Now and get ready for the Ders Day of your life!

Now get!

Now go bust out some super chill rando vids on Snapchat

Now it flew off before I got a good look at it,

Now it's really easy.

Now Magic Carl is gonna go to the other side of the stage,

Now we're gonna have to get a new cameraman for the next run.

Now we're talking.

Now, do you know how he got the nickname Zippo?

Now, I'm a little I'm, like,

Now, if I catch you causing trouble again, you're gone.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a meeting to rock.

Now, let's go get some weed!

Now, my point is,

Now, please, please make sure that my assistant, Magic Carl,

Now, you push; I pull.

Now.

Obviously, I should probably be one.

Of all time,

Of course I am. Give me that.

Of Darjeeling Limited Edition Tazo tea.

Of my likeness, didn't you?

Of our friendship. Okay.

Of pulling my finger?

Of responsibility for that bootleg ass Heathcliff. Bye.

Of the penis and actually it forms muscles.

Of the penis, and the vagina grips ahold

Of the stress wrinkles and sushi.

Of their vaginas 'cause they're not used to the penetration

Of these N.A. classes.

Of what's gonna shoot out.

Oh, are you guys okay?

Oh, big old stout.

Oh, come on. Come on.

Oh, direct hit! What? No, no, no.

Oh, do you like the way I ollie?

Oh, dude, yeah, we could have a way better casino

Oh, dude!

Oh, God dang it.

Oh, God, I think I'm still drunk.

Oh, God!

Oh, good night.

Oh, great, great.

Oh, happy holidays, indeed.

Oh, happy, epic Ders Day.

Oh, hello.

Oh, hey, are you gonna eat these eggs?

Oh, hide, hide, hide! What?

Oh, I borrowed somebody's grizzled toothbrush,

Oh, I don't know what this is about.

Oh, I dropped my popcorn.

Oh, I'm getting that pre meth jitters, baby, let's roll!

Oh, I'm so good at fricking birding.

Oh, just do me already. I want to.

Oh, man, yesterday was so frickin' awesome, right?

Oh, missed a spot.

Oh, my God, everyone!

Oh, my God, thank you.

Oh, my God, that is so weak!

Oh, my God!

Oh, my God!

Oh, my, that dirty dog. What?

Oh, no, no, no, no weed.

Oh, no.

Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no.

Oh, shoot.

Oh, son of a [bleep] dickhead.

Oh, thank God, Denny's, you're all right.

Oh, that looks like a really good year red, doesn't it?

Oh, that old yuppie just hit a baby bald eagle!

Oh, that's weird, I'm so good,

Oh, the nape of your neck is so elegant.

Oh, uh, talent on set.

Oh, uh...

Oh, well, hello, hello.

Oh, wow.

Oh, yeah, that's right.

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, they are haunted.

Oh, you boys sneaking out?

Oh, you could sit down, 'cause that actually

Oh, you had me worried sick.

Oh, you look bad. You look bad, like pepperoni

Oh, your hateful words! It's a trigger.

Oh! Aah!

Oh! No. Ah, shit.

Oh! That was the best one yet.

Oh. Oh, [bleep].

Okay, 'cause they've ruined everything so far.

Okay, and what's that? Ah! Rattlesnake!

Okay, cool, you're listening.

Okay, do we have the flash drive?

Okay, everybody, let's gather round, let's do this.

Okay, going to the 60 second rule.

Okay, good, 'cause just know that I hate poop jokes.

Okay, Honey. Let's lose the tops.

Okay, I I know. I know she eats off a frisbee, yes.

Okay, I'm a beast on Black Twitter,

Okay, just put you right to bed.

Okay, oh, my gosh, I am ready to party.

Okay, okay, everybody. all: Delete your apps!

Okay, so I'm just visualizing.

Okay, sweet dreams.

Okay, there had to be a mix up somewhere

Okay, this party is popping. What's going on?

Okay, um, yeah.

Okay, we don't work without a script,

Okay, what is the card?

Okay, whoa. What are you doing?

Okay, yeah, hey. What's up? It's Blake, the hair one.

Okay, yeah, no.

Okay, you can take off your blindfolds...

Okay? I love it. Careful.

Okay? Yeah, no doubt.

Okay? [stammers]

Okay.

Okay.

Okay. Here is the spot.

Okay. Yeah, let's do this.

On a cruise ship or something?"

On an outside work retreat.

On my front step.

On my scratching hand.

On stupid shit like this?

On the ground.

On the Internet ever again.

On, uh, like, a bratwurst.

Once and for all, right?

One alpha dog thing.

One day, they went horseback riding

One for her and one for her sister with back issues.

One of every option, please.

One question. Do you want me to bust on you?

One time, I spit on this pigeon's face,

One, two, three, beef squashed!

Ones that looked like it had, like, alopecia.

Only slept for, like, seven hours or something.

Ooh, a Merlot, vino.

Ooh!

Oops.

Or a Prince of Bel Air or something.

Or as JP here likes to call it...

Or did she rescue me?" You know?

Or else I'm gonna donate my dick to science.

Or everyone is working this weekend.

Or honestly, sometimes it helps if you guys

Or I would wreck you!

Or is she is she is currently dead?

Or maybe some sake bombs or something

Or one of those hot little stripper bitches.

Or some of that sushi, man,

Or was it JCPenney's?

Or whatever she is, she'll be all yours, right?

Or you gonna sock it to my pocket like a space rocket?

Or you're gonna be sniffing on butt steaks.

Or, give them give the whole...

Otherwise, this stuff's gonna be going wrong all day.

Our new sport for this summer's X Games.

Our scene starts in a crowded bus.

Out of a stranger's bum bum?

Out of your pants.

Out on my [bleep].

Over at this house, I will come back here

Over to my dude Anders Holmvik, okay?

Ow, ow, ow, don't wiggle it, don't wiggle it!

Ow, you're up my butthole, dude.

Ow!

Ow!

Ow! Gosh, you got a nerve.

Ow! I think you broke my nose.

Ow! Ow!

Ow! Ow! Ow!

Ow! Save me!

Oxygenates their vaginas.

P p p p p p p p party. P party, Daddy.

Package is at the house. Let's go.

Packages probably got stolen.

Pardon me. Oh, and excuse me.

Passing the blame when you're too busy smacking off

Pawing.

Peanut butter or like, peanut buttery g****s or, like

Perfect large air breasts in front of me, man?

Phone's on vibrate. Answer it.

Phyllis Wilson 34F.

Picked up some tricks?

Pit boss DeMamp, please get to the back of the house now.

Please call me Andy Holmes, guys.

Please come down.

Please don't do that!

Please don't.

Please get to the back of the house.

Please move to the nearest exit. No running! Jesus.

Please, let me go, Ders!

Please, man, you look like a old ass,

Please, where are you, Carl?

Please, will you just squash the beef?

Poo in a plastic bag, flatten it out like a pancake,

Pop it and dip it in! In! In!

Potent smell.

Prepare yourself for the debut of my pet falcon!

Pretend on the way there.

Private patch on your shoulder?

Private sex show between my wife and I,

Probably get into wine, so that hopefully, I can dine,

Probably had a neighbor sign for it.

Probably play till dawn,

Problem.

Psych! I hate this shit.

Purple magic mountain majesty.

Pussy, money, respect.

Put it back in the deck, anywhere in the deck.

Put some pep in your step,

Queen of hearts, what do you say?

Rancho Cucamonga acting legend.

Rancho's three biggest web celebs.

Rather than smoking that damn hashish?

Rattlesnake to the neck!

Real cool.

Real falcon. I just I Amazon Primed her.

Real hard boiled eggs.

Real high?

Really get in there and just...

Recent studies have shown that the most dangerous things

Regardless of whatever Planned Parenthood tells you.

Remember the aunt in the fat suit?

Remember, what happens here stays here.

Repeatedly.

Right? Oh, okay.

Right? Spinnies! [chuckles]

Rip people's lives apart will do you some good.

Rock candy? I'm selling meth!

Rocking Didi's world with some erotic...

Roll sound. Rolling!

Run!

Running around in that handsome little head of yours.

Sales of the Boobillow have been so amazing

Say good bye to Daddy.

Say good bye to Daddy.

Say hi, right now. Very cool.

Say we're on the hike and we're picking wild corn.

Say your lines with that emotion.

See that email on the top there?

See you guys in the meeting.

See, 'cause I was wondering why,

See, these idiots No, actually, I can explain.

Seems that Juliette is not going to be able

Self centered, dope smoking kid with your

Sell me on why you deserve to work here.

Semen.

Setting off fireworks at a Kenny Chesney USO show.

Shake the treat box, Vicki!

Shake the treat box! Sorry.

Shake the treat box.

Shaunders.

She always makes me feel so small, you know?

She asked me to tidy up as well, which I'm doing,

She everywhere.

She has a jump plane.

She has it all together now

She just, like, goes from job to job

She locked it.

She put you up to this, didn't she?

She regretted smoking her whole life.

She wanted to see the D. You know what I mean?

She'd kick my ass.

She'll come back. She'll be okay.

She'll do anything for my approval.

She's a pretty good writer for a chick.

She's always been the cool one.

She's eating something.

She's going to be filling in for Jillian

She's gonna think you're a fat, pig faced loser

She's got a poo puddle waiting for her.

She's got cash, and if we string her along,

She's in great shape. She is in great shape.

She's my love,

She's probably got a beach house in Malibu, right?

She's sugar to the core.

Shit, [bleep]. [bleep].

Shot Brooke Burke for the cover of "Stuff" magazine.

Shut up!

Shyeah. [chuckles]

Similar similar vibes. Mm. Cabela babe.

Sister! [laughter]

Sit back, relax, and enjoy the sho oh!

Sit down right now 'cause that inspired me.

Sit somewhere else.

Skydiving is cancelled. Ohh!

Skydiving!

Skydiving! All right, okay, fine!

Smash into the cage with my heels,

Smells like sandwiches.

Smoking weed all day, eating Yoshinoya,

Snap into a Slim Jim compliments of the house.

Sneak in through the crawl space

So buh buh bye.

So count me out.

So don't go around telling me that you've got anxiety.

So follow me back.

So get the hell out of my call center.

So go fricking save your baby, Blake.

So I couldn't stroke my dog.

So I don't think I could be arrested.

So I would like to introduce to all of you my beloved...

So I'll pass on the taxi and take that red wine, thanks.

So I'm gonna go to the restroom

So I'm gonna play as well.

So I'm using the drinking fountain to take whore's baths.

So I've jacked off every day since,

So I've laced these roman candles

So if I could get $16 worth of meth.

So if you could do that, that'd be great.

So if you'll excuse us, we need to go watch

So it'll take about three hours, so after lunch,

So it's time to battle? Watch this.

So just calm down.

So let's just do a couple more about me.

So let's roll, Sergeant!

So now it's my turn to make the plans.

So now she's she'll be fine. She's gonna come back.

So that didn't, like, have any

So that means we got to get you guys up on all the socials,

So that's how you know it didn't happen.

So that's kind of, like, technically,

So that's why I'm transferring more women

So the key to a successful magic trick is distraction.

So they'll blow holes in this dumpster.

So those are out there now.

So until shit changes, page me.

So we can all meet her.

So we can check the alarm system,

So we can get over to the children's hospital.

So we can get the floor safe and use it

So we can stack some hits,

So we're like the same dude.

So welcome. That's right.

So what are you getting me for lunch, peachy?

So what I have here

So what we have here is...

So you can't really see her pussy,

So you know what, if you want to go and hang out with her

So you will need a new assistant, right?

So you're buried in the ground. I am, yes.

So you're the ugly one, yeah? And you're the white nerd?

So your whole office is a sauna? That's right.

So, like, I'm like a cornucopia of fun. Okay.

So, um, eyes peeled. Lookouts.

So, um, she...

So, yes, for all intents and purposes,

Social Services took them from me,

Sold! Ahhh! I made a sale, girl.

Some dude in Algeria or something,

Some of the men too. Guys.

Something about Dr. Jerry Larryberry.

Sometimes I don't figure it out

Sometimes to be a champion.

Sorry about the new attire.

Sorry about the stink, though.

Sorry, catfish some people, get some easy moola.

Sorry, honey.

Sorry. I'm calling to talk to you

Sorry. I'm calling to talk to you about your knock wobbles.

Spray him with the mace. Yeah.

Spread as much as you can. I'm Yeah, that's about

Squeeze them in. Shotgun.

Start at my penis.

Start at the penis!

Start without me. I'll be back in a jiffy.

Started her period.

Started using essential oils, 2 4 7, 3 6 5.

States the 4/20 party is back on!

Steal the helmet, and you guys are gonna be lookouts.

Steal...

Stealing, like you said you were gonna do.

Step away from the dumpster,

Stick it in the freezer for a few hours.

Stop it! No, no! Oh, dude.

Stop, man, it's too late. It's never too late.

Stop! Dude, I'm not

Striking several of those children...

Suck it up at this bitch!

Sucked a bunch of [bleep].

Suit yourselves, guys.

Supposed to be me and you, brother.

Supposed to have it all.

Sure, it sounds Asian,

Sure, yeah, we could wake her up,

Surprise kisses. Exactly.

Surprise kisses. Mm hmm.

Take off my underwear when we get inside, so.

Take off those stupid [bleep] glasses.

Takeover inevitable.

Takes the other two people to Havasu.

Talking about, "I wanna get high."

Tang, can I see your shoe?

TelAmeriCorp.

Tell me how you like my finger skills.

Tell that to Jake's son.

Tell them that I got my period and that my tampon will fly out.

Tell Tina you know me and she'll give you that extra guac hookup.

Tells you how German you are. Oh, right.

Tender Turkey Primavera.

Texted you weren't gonna be here.

Tez, my man, what's up, dude? Hey.

TGIF.

Than God's...

Than that warehouse dude.

Thank you for your service. Yeah.

Thank you so much. Yes. This is cool.

Thank you very much. Thank you.

Thank you very much. Thank you.

Thank you, bye.

Thank you, thank you, and,

Thank you. And so was I, though, you can

Thanks, [bleep] tard.

Thanks, bro.

Thanks, man. Good stuff, good stuff.

Thanks, sisters.

Thanks.

That a young griffin had broken into my apartment

That allows very large breasted women

That butt that butt's just winking at me.

That city, but you freaking screwed us.

That happened faster than I thought.

That has the body of a lion and the head

That I just signed a contract with FemCo

That I just...spoke upon?

That I threw at your vehicle to stop you.

That I will be serving myself in the break room at noon.

That is a classic catfish excuse!

That is a weight sensor.

That is great, yeah.

That is my count, though, since nobody's counting.

That is not the word.

That is very hard.

That is weird. I've never seen this before.

That lady's probably taking it for a wash, you know?

That leads to JP's office.

That made me enough money to fix my back tat, but

That makes it a beef pipe.

That means that nobody gets to wease the juice with Pauly!

That once, the stage gave me.

That pig is still there just crushing hot wings.

That really means a lot to me.

That seems a little...

That smelled bad. Yeah.

That straight flush, the high hand.

That sucks balls. [bleep] you guys, man.

That the only thing you've accomplished

That there is blood on your hands.

That was you thought it was pretty funny?

That was a real knife.

That was a sad story.

That was awesome. That was cool.

That was going on in there.

That was in the deep butt. The smell!

That was off the hook.

That was the deal.

That was unacceptable.

That way, the classy chicks we bring back here to drink it,

That way, you can't ejack.

That we all pooled together for the entire year

That we can bash in with hammers...

That we would like to discuss with you...

That would agree to be profiled.

That you get from eating a ton of sauerklout

That you hate the future.

That you ran into Cushing

That you'd take them skydiving,

That your grandpa sent you.

That, like, see hot chicks,

That, you know, Adam farted his way out of trouble.

That's that's not cool.

That's that's not true at all.

That's [bleep] awesome.

That's $2,500 for me,

That's a TV. It's both.

That's been up there for a while.

That's cigarette butts.

That's cool, but after you, pass me the ox, dude.

That's cool, right? Yeah.

That's Dan Yella!

That's fine!

That's gonna require a ton of tissue.

That's good to know. Okay.

That's good.

That's how I give a good hummer.

That's how you got so skinny, huh?

That's Jillian. Yeah, no.

That's like six minutes away. How am I supposed

That's mine. That's what I drive.

That's my girl.

That's not cool, okay?

That's not enough money for my meth.

That's not happening. I'm not wearing any makeup.

That's not how this sort of thing works.

That's not magic. I'm sorry.

That's not what we do at Anderson Delivery.

That's official. That's fine.

That's on you, but that dude never would've punked us

That's right. We know it's you.

That's so high.

That's the kind of life I want to live!

That's the look."

That's the thing about your stories.

That's very strong. Very strong. Thank you.

That's very sweet of you.

That's weird.

That's what I was gonna call myself,

That's what I'm getting. I can't figure out what you are.

That's what I'm talking about.

That's what they want you to believe.

That's what's happening. Okay.

That's where you come in.

That's who you are as a person.

That's why they're called followers.

That's, like, a badass name,

That's, like, a good look.

That's, like, a no brainer.

That's, like, Native American 101, dude.

The "B" keeps falling off.

The "Ronald Reagan Memorial Break Room," so...

The bad breath, the globs of earwax in the morning,

The BO, the dandruff, the below average dick.

The Boobillow is an ergonomic wedge shaped pillow

The call of an eagle.

The doctor says I'm only gonna be blind for a week.

The fart out of me right now.

The foundation of life,

The gerbil. Oh. Oh!

The holiday shopping season is over.

The house always wins.

The license plate said "MRNULEAF."

The Melting Pot, have you been there?

The only reason that we had those chicks over at our house

The package is here.

The package is here.

The question, "Did you send her a photo of another man?"

The role of kind of a seedy,

The San Bernardino

The spell is broken and we live again!

The start of the weekend.

The stereotypical Chinese geisha fan

The TAC Social Media Brandbassador

The tape's stuck inside.

The Woodsmen, right?

The zits, the snot, the boogers, the stinky butt,

Then got 45 likes on a meme I posted on IG.

Then people will love me.

Then she got everyone

Then you can collect my life insurance

There is also all expenses paid work trip to the Virality Awards

There will be a power struggle

There you go. Enjoy the loin.

There you go. Welcome to my casino.

There's 30 seconds left, so...

There's a bomb in the office!

There's dead animals hanging all over the walls.

There's definitely a Chili's To Go in here.

There's honor in that. Poor little dude.

There's no other possibility.

There's not let's face it, guys.

There's one more thing we can do.

There's some annoying kid that might give us a small...

There's table limits for a reason.

There's, like, a ton of leftover loin.

These are her toys. Yeah.

These are his friends.

These are your boobs."

These bumps are gonna make me bust!

These places are they're a scam.

They are nice.

They call me Johnny Glass.

They call them "licks" for a reason.

They can hear us! Quiet!

They don't even wear helmets in the X Games.

They don't have dicks inside of them.

They don't have jobs anymore, right?

They give you, like, little... Yeah, I went through the bush.

They have fricking shrimps, dude.

They hurt from how ugly you are when you complain.

They like to light people on fire, for real.

They love animals even more than they love

They love it! They love it.

They love it. Sure.

They made up, like, a spooky curse.

They mean so much to me.

They want to see my dick.

They were about to throw out.

They were the only thing that gave me that high

They were trying to steal.

They will cut your fingers off. Okay.

They'll be drippin' for a sippin'.

They're actually really, really cool dudes.

They're all crammed into one building.

They're good. They're my cousin Tracy's.

They're such dreaded affairs, aren't they?

Things just fall out of 'em all the time.

Think about the script.

This this is why you're not even on the team.

This actually isn't a bong.

This ain't what it looks like. See, let me explain.

This chick's a ten.

This cowboy boot shaped mug.

This freaking safety test is impossible.

This guy's good.

This hot is never gonna be interested in you, no offense.

This is a nightmare. I don't like it.

This is Blake H.

This is cool. It's like family game night.

This is ejack bubbling out.

This is fine, this is just fine.

This is fun. I feel a little concussed.

This is fun. It's like a dream come true, honestly.

This is gonna be fun. It's gonna be fun.

This is just a regular, normal museum, okay?

This is Mr. Buckley,

This is my show now, baby.

This is my territory!

This is the EZ Egger.

This is, like, an amazing time to be a man.

This just no, it's too stressful.

This one construction worker got a bolt in his head,

This party sucks. So you were never

This party's a little too crazy, huh?

This place has some serious "Night at the Museum"

This puppetry of the penis, it's so hot right now.

This shit will get you higher

This to the office. Well, we all

This year, we've got a 42 blunt salute!"

Thought maybe you could watch me shred some gnar tricks.

Three for "The People vs. Dom Dierkes"

Three triple dippers.

Through my phone so that they don't hear us sawing

Throw 'em all over the place, Jillian!

Thus, countering the waste displace

Thus, countering the weight dis dis

Till then, get the [bleep] out of my new casino.

Time is money, all right?

Time to freakin' go. You know what?

Tina did a DNA test.

To a museum and show you these beautiful fossils...

To B.J. Novak's new app, but you can forget about it.

To be perfectly honest, I'm looking for an addict

To be raising a cat.

To call me by my character's name offstage,

To catch this guy. God damn it!

To chant, "McBreath, McBreath, McBreath!"

To come tuck her napkin into her shirt.

To diddle Didi in six minutes?

To do here, some entertainment.

To find a clit on the butthole.

To gain my fart back from my deep butthole.

To get a firsthand look at that if you

To get followers, okay?

To go to a Narcotics Anonymous meeting,

To grow up without a dad,

To have dinosaurs roaming around in bamboo,

To infinity and beyond!

To jump alone on their first time?

To make Roller skating...2.

To meet each other.

To Mr. Dan Yella, our porno daddy.

To please take your seats

To prove that you belong here permanently.

To realize that I need proper supervision.

To replace Zippo, which will lead to a drug war.

To Roller skate 2: The New Class midair.

To sell their products exclusively.

To sleep comfortably on their stomachs.

To smoke in front of Denny's?

To take you skydiving today.

To the 'Vo!

To the 'Vo. All right.

To work for you, sir.

To your good, old, normal self.

To...

Total Package, I'm gonna need your blade legs.

Treat us thusly.

Tries to sell our weed for profit.

Trust me, I'm not.

Try something new together.

Trying to get a pillowcase full of weed.

Trying to get every last copy of it back off the Internet.

Turn, turn, yeah. Turn And pivot.

Turns out you can get get animals on there.

Twitter followers from 200 to 2,100 in 13 months?

Two beautiful, old Mexican women.

Two beautiful, young Mexican females turn into

Two VHS copies,

Ugh!

Uh thanks.

Uh, "McBreath."

Uh, could I get a quick selfie for Facebook?

Uh, I don't know if this is the best environment

Uh, just taking a shot in the dark here,

Uh, look, can you tell your boy to flip a B?

Uh, that that's okay.

Uh, what are you? Andy?

Uh...unfortunately, I have some bad news.

Uh...yes. Ahem.

Um, I just went on my computer

Um, I like, uh

Um, I will be playing the role of Angela,

Um, I'm afraid there was a little bit of an incident

Um, no, I made that sale this morning.

Um, who am I? I'm like

Unbutton your buttons! Unbutton your buttons!

Unbutton your buttons! Unbutton your buttons!

Undercover operation that was trying to take out

Understand? Understood. Understood.

Unless you want to have a massive skin graft,

Unless you're a knife guy. Uh...

Until the ride home or until a few hours later.

Up top and on bottom.

Use it to peer around corners as lookouts.

Using my muscles and my mind.

Using my strength or my muscles.

Usually, I'm only attracted to long haired skater types,

Van Nuys guys.

Very cool. [laughs]

Very cool. Yeah, that's sick.

Wait a second.

Wait a second.

Wait, uh, Klout Score? How do we get to Havasu?

Wait, wait, okay?

Wait, wait. Ho, ho.

Wait, you can't

Wait. What is this?

Wait. Why "uh oh"?

Want some? Nah, I'm okay.

Want to write that article about me, right?

Was going to rear its ugly head sooner or later.

Was looking for him, and he wants to meet you.

Was that a baby?

Was that cat 'cause chicks love animals.

Watch this.

Way more people than I was expecting.

Waymond, is that your card?

We all know that you're not in a biker gang, man.

We already have a card table.

We are all students of Brian Henson's.

We are going hiking, and that is final.

We are going with my plan, and we're gonna go hiking.

We are not going skydiving.

We are not gonna stand by

We are now...

We are waiting for the exact perfect right time

We bark [bleep] all the time.

We be selling.

We buying meth! Ooh.

We can buy with 100 bones?

We can do beers, watch a Blues game.

We can go skydiving.

We can pay for the Vo and go to the timber sports games.

We can sneak in or something.

We can't cover that.

We could be, like, superheroes. We could wear costumes.

We could do the proper Magic Johnson hook shot burial,

We could probably wake her up and say hi.

We did some damage in there.

We did your plan.

We do that and we're stooping to his level.

We don't even work for the museum.

We don't get to talk about farts anymore.

We go in, we grab Denny's, and then,

We got a sale!

We got another.

We got back to back quinceañeras

We got to send money.

We got weed bricks that'll make you feel like an angel

We hate that son of a bitch. Yeah.

We have enough beef to squash already.

We have no porno! I'm on eBay.

We haven't had a single sale?

We heard all about Denny's and we just wanted to meet her.

We just we need to concentrate.

We kissed, and then she told me

We know you're the robber, so just give us the porno.

We like French fries, though.

We lost to that cool looking Asian dude.

We need to evacuate the building.

We need to get going, all right?

We need to get that beef pipe back in there

We put together a little presentation.

We replaced it with a similar item.

We should get going.

We should have probably done it in the front yard.

We should start a vigilante group of our own

We start off with a card trick.

We talk like that now. Come on, wait.

We took a field trip to "Fiddler on the Roof,"

We used to love it. Great, yeah.

We were just being selfish.

We'd be selling the crap out of them, Alice.

We'll let you try on the dinosaur suits.

We'll take you to one every Sunday for a month.

We're about to clown this fool.

We're about to hit the jump! [screaming]

We're all a little crazy.

We're at a mother freaking Chili's right now,

We're coming out.

We're going sexy. Ready?

We're gonna we're gonna have the 4/20 party.

We're gonna butt [bleep] it until it dumps Monday!

We're gonna get back to the craft beers

We're gonna get out of your hair.

We're gonna get you out real soon, okay?

We're gonna get your cat Denny's back.

We're gonna go skydiving.

We're gonna have Botox shots flying around the office,

We're gonna jump out. We're gonna pounce.

We're gonna kick your ass. Really?

We're gonna party, Daddy!

We're gonna take a short five minute intermission.

We're gonna take this week.

We're having fun, right?

We're his roommates. Really?

We're in the Hills, dude. What are you talking about?

We're in the middle of a rehearsal,

We're just wondering if you signed for a package for us?

We're known for our giant titties.

We're men... with feelings.

We're not France.

We're not these dumb brands, right?

We're out. Ready? Yup. I'm with you.

We're ready. Let's do this.

We're saying that things you do are that of a bitch.

We're supposed to do

We're wondering if you could just pretend to be Blake

We've got rehearsal in about five minutes.

Welcome to "Vikings of Scandinavia!"

Welcome to Beat Ass HQ.

Welcome to our home.

Well, be sure and try the Mangria.

Well, he's got a little demonstration.

Well, I'm about to prove to you that I would.

Well, I'm about to turn in, kids.

Well, it's two clicks this way,

Well, my brain is fried,

Well, now that we're not working together,

Well, that's the most fun I've had all week.

Well, we are going to just throw all of that in the trash...

Well, you can just tell corporate

Well... [sighs]

Whack Peter Pan, so, like, [buzzes].

Wham! Died on impact.

What am I supposed to tell them?

What are we gonna do come Christmas?

What are you what are you doing?

What are you doing to me?

What are you gonna do?

What are you in for, bud?

What are you talking about?

What are you, the king of this place?

What did you do?

What did you eat?

What do you guys want me to do, kill myself?

What do you think of this?

What do you want from me?

What does that mean?

What does that say right there?

What happened to porno? That's what I was thinking.

What happened to us?

What I'm gonna do to, like, have my legacy be badass.

What I'm saying is that she's loaded, okay?

What if we gave you $2,500?

What is going on out there?

What is that?

What is that? Click on that.

What is wrong with you women?

What is your name, friend?

What is your plan?

What kind of children's hospital

What kind of massaging are you even doing, Gil?

What moment are we doing?

What size are those crystal clappers?

What the hell's up, man?

What up?

What was that?

What we got over here?

What we're doing for this year's Ders Day.

What you doing?

What?

What? Oh, it's me.

What? She calls herself a bitch.

What's what does it do?

What's gonna happen is, I'm gonna put on a sumo suit.

What's the real story?

What's up, Didi? Check it.

What's up, man? I'm Shaunders.

Whatever, it was free. It was just sitting there, so...

Whatever.

When am I gonna get this package?

When everyone knows there was no bamboo in the Cretaceous Period?

When he takes the box

When I can do this. Oh, oh!

When I don't even know what that means?

When I hand it to him in person.

When I hit that dinosaur in the head with that sword?

When I need you to pull, okay?

When I take her down.

When she grows up to be, like, a lion or a tiger or a liger

When Stephen slapped Irene?

When there's beef in our crew.

When you find out what I have in store for you this year.

When you're busy eating ass all day?

Where a lot of kids are falling in love nowadays.

Where are the keys?

Where are we gonna find any weed on 4/20 eve?

Where are you?

Where Diane deals.

Where is he? This is not part of the show.

Where is it? Okay. Don't panic.

Where you keep everything else, Dad?

Where's the script?

Which are what I'm calling my arms now

Which has a video that says,

Which I don't know, actually.

Which I'm sure you've heard of,

Which I've actually done before in my parent's basement.

Which I've actually seen that video before,

Which is a real thing my aunt died from it.

Which is a word I recently looked up,

Which is cool, right? Yeah.

Which is what they're doing in there, definitely.

Which is why I think we should do a joint custody.

Which it was. Totally.

Which means these kick ass office changes are permanent!

Which one do you want, epic or chill?

Which sounds super fun.

Which the doctor said is a good sign.

Which was going to be the prize. both: Right.

Which we don't understand either, 'cause

Which, actually, you dudes owe me,

Which, for a method actor as I am

While she's on National Guard duty.

While they're kind of Honestly, I miss Dan Yella.

While you guys are fighting over some animal lover girls,

Who are effortlessly cool but still have a soft side,

Who are you?

Who I was always very fond of.

Who knew about the tournament in Big Bear.

Who liked looking at, you know, big ol' chumbawumbas.

Who probably doesn't need sand.

Who puked?

Who should do it? Maybe Didi.

Who the hell are you?

Who wanted to get together and eat each other's butts.

Who wants a Strawberry Latte Bull?

Who's @SilliestJilly?

Who's gonna be rolling deep with me to the Virality Awards

Who's hungry? Thank you.

Who's in the grip of addiction, struggling to get out.

Who's ready to mother[bleep] party?

Who's tape is this?

Who's teaching us how to be great men.

Who's this dipshit taking pictures?

Who's ugly now?

Whoa, guys! Hey!

Whoa, hey. What's going on?

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Okay.

Whoa!

Whoa! Whoa!

Whoa. Whoa!

Whoa. [chuckles]

Whoo hoo hoo!

Whoo!

Whoo!

Whoo! Yeah, dude.

Whoo! Cat's gone!

Whoo! Sold, baby!

Whoo! This is outlaw shit!

Whose side are you on, son?

Why don't we go bottom right, right there?

Why don't we go inside, work some angles,

Why don't you check your butt,

Why don't you go back to being extinct?

Why don't you go put a arrow through your head, you idiot?

Why don't you just come back to our place?

Why don't you just tie a rubber band around your ding dong?

Why don't you say this? "Can I suck your [bleep]?"

Why would anyone bomb?

Why you so nervous?

Wicky, wicky wild.

Will only get worse.

With "MRNULEAF," and there's, well,

With a similar sized item.

With concentrated gun powder

With one punch, close parentheses.

With our new native friends...

With the highest Klout Score

With this rad land paddleboard.

With you and Juliette.

With your cool T shirt and your pervert mustache.

Woman, and child who wants to get stoned

Won 200 bones last week.

Wonderful performance. What are you doing?

Work at the Van Nuys branch.

Work here for two weeks.

Work it out, betch.

Work on your [bleep]?

Would protect me, okay?

Would you like to come up and share?

Would you mind if I follow along?

Wouldn't have hooked us up with this irregular pizza

Wow. Bye!

Wrapped around my pinky in no time.

Wrong performance. This is a safety presentation.

Y'all have exactly two minutes. What?

Yah.

Yeah, [bleep] you, museum! Suck it.

Yeah, definitely, definitely.

Yeah, have your catnip, okay?

Yeah, I bet there's, like, hell of ancient tablets

Yeah, I can't it's just, your sister's

Yeah, I think I'm gonna beat off.

Yeah, it's Anders again.

Yeah, no, nope.

Yeah, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, thanks.

Yeah, okay, come on.

Yeah, put my nuts on the table, and then I did the damn thing.

Yeah, she's with Daddy now,

Yeah, sip that drink.

Yeah, the big one. I'm coming for you

Yeah, up here.

Yeah, we're doing it,

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Van Nuys in the house.

Yeah, yeah. No, do it.

Yeah!

Yeah!

Yeah!

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah. You want to know what else isn't funny?

Yes, I like where your head's at.

Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.

Yes?

Yo, Kaner, take us around back.

You God! Oh, [bleep].

You you're a telemarketer and you drive a Porsche?

You almost blew it.

You and the weirdos aren't gonna beat that guy up the ramp.

You are human khakis.

You are my bitch. I am your employer.

You are too much of a liability, and I am not taking the risk.

You basically make the shadow puppet dog,

You believe this prick? Crazy, right?

You bet your SoulPancakes I do.

You better battle back.

You can bet on it.

You can do are retreats on earth.

You can do your next trick now.

You can kiss my aerodynamic,

You can start at the penis or just scream,

You can tell me anything.

You can't do this.

You can't even come up with a good plan.

You chauvinist pig?

You could actually be an upstanding citizen.

You could've wrote us a fine,

You crushed it.

You did it. Oh, wait a second.

You did something for someone else

You didn't even give Ders Day a chance.

You do have a three year warranty.

You don't always act like a bitch.

You don't care, right?

You don't even know massaging. What kind of massaging is that?

You don't have to carry around

You don't know what that means to me, man.

You don't mind me shadowing you.

You fold right now,

You fold right now,

You found two guys on the Internet

You freakin' birther.

You gave us your word.

You get more bite for your buck.

You get to party with Pauly Shore.

You get to wease the juice with the Wease Man himself.

You get your Starter jacket out, put your hand underneath,

You give me my 5 grand.

You give me one of those vests,

You gonna let him talk to you like that?

You got a email sent to you that could be, like,

You got guts. Yeah.

You got it, man.

You got it? Uh oh.

You got me oh, I love these things.

You got the munchies.

You got this house.

You got to pinch it. Ah.

You guys are really outdating yourself here.

You guys didn't tell me that a famous actress worked here.

You guys ever notice DiDi got a real booty on her?

You guys get the car with the moonroof,

You guys just got another follower.

You guys should come over sometime.

You guys should get pretty excited

You guys were all terrible yesterday

You had a poem published in the newspaper last week.

You have a joint behind your ear.

You have a very tiny penis.

You have fun with Mommy, all right?

You hear me? Never again!

You imbeciles brought the wrong shipment!

You just listen!

You just need to wiggle your tiny little spaghetti fingers

You just snap it in,

You know every hair on my head, Lord.

You know how I do.

You know how many Triple Dippers

You know how those bitches always leave their windows

You know Laura?

You know what just happened? We we're cursed.

You know what, Blake?

You know what, I really thought you'd changed.

You know what, you're probably right.

You know what? What?

You know what? Yeah, oh, what you gonna do?

You know what? I should do it.

You know what? I'm gonna put you on hold

You know what? It doesn't matter.

You know you brought this hellfire down on both of us.

You know, get some easy money.

You know, she's lucky that she was married to JP, you know?

You know, since he went out like that.

You know, skinny slacker bros

You know, they're caught off guard,

You look like an idiot.

You look like every other

You look off in the distance,

You lost the footie, and the X Games are in like four days.

You might be okay, all right.

You need to be something that the audience looks at while I

You saw the outline through the towel.

You seem a little thick in the middle

You seem like you're getting your life together.

You sent it? Whoa, I just got a follower.

You should do that. Try to scare the fart out of me.

You signed these knuckleheads up for the "Internet,"

You slide the poo disc through Jillian's window,

You son of a bitch. Yeah.

You stay right here. Sit down!

You still got a thirst for putting away bad guys?

You stupid, dumb dick.

You tell Zippo...

You think anybody saw us?

You think what she does is cool?

You thought I was gonna really just bring you

You told the sitter you'd be back by 9:00,

You took our money

You wanna get high?

You wanna know how many dinners I had with my pops?

You want you want some ditch weed, don't you?

You want a shmoke a bowl?

You want the red wire, not the blue wire.

You want to see it? both: Yeah.

You want your house back,

You win...

You won't even let us have any fun

You working with athletes? Is that what that is?

You would look so much prettier

You, sir, what's your name?

You, uh, going going into the meeting, or...?

You'll know when to do the distraction, okay?

You'll start there tomorrow. Okay.

You're a Barbie face poopy mouth.

You're a good guy.

You're a pedophile. Ders!

You're a sexy mommy out on the town, aren't you?

You're a trooper. All right.

You're amazing. Happy holidays.

You're beta bitch boy.

You're enabling him!

You're Erin Mantini, here. Yes!

You're gonna okay.

You're gonna be hosed with Muscle Milk.

You're gonna die, bitch! Oh, my God.

You're gonna ruin this. You believe this guy?

You're good to go with the kids tonight?

You're hard in there. Yeah.

You're here with a guy name Blake Henderson.

You're interrupting my family bonding time!

You're just in time for the ass kicking.

You're more than just, you know, what we're looking at here.

You're not even taking the test right now.

You're not good enough for her.

You're smelling catnip. I smoked, uh, catnip.

You're so stupid, @YungChillunerr.

You're someone you aren't just to get followers?

You're such a good mommy

You're supposed to be sexy, okay?

You're the coolest Murphy sister.

You're the little bitch that got beat up by my dad.

You're throwing plates!

You're under arrest. Get your hands up!

You're vaped out of your mind. You're starving.

You've been cranking out some epic content.

You've got more DUIs than my grandson can count up to.

You've got to focus more on curating

You've got to use your imagination, right?

You've got, like, a weird butthole fixation,

You've lost a lot of weight, and your

Your Alice fine, I can't stop you.

Your friend over here ruined our plan and blinded Adam.

Your guys' plan didn't work, all right?

Your individual personas.

Your selfie stick.

Your selfie stick.

Your sipping the government Kool Aid.

Your skin looks fantastic. It's so shiny.

Your social impact across all platforms.

Yup, that's real.

Zippo wants to see you.

Zippo, says so.

Zippo.

Zippo's gonna have fun with you.

4/20 only comes around once a year,

9:30 at the latest,

25 jumps in first.

200 sales.

'Cause she's a lesbian.

'Cause we're on the roof.

"Acting," he said.

"Give it up."

"Indiana Jonesing."

"Jerk it, please! Jerk it please!"

"My sister!"

"Oh, jerk it, please!

"Please donate to Save Mammals Now.

"Sorry. Can't make it.

"Sorry. Can't make it.

"You could never make me not love you, my love,

[all speaking at once]

[beatboxing]

[beatboxing]

[beatboxing]

[beatboxing]

[beatboxing]

[bleep] you, museum. You suck!

[bleep], [bleep], [bleep]. [bleep].

[bleep], yeah.

[bleep].

[chanting] Skydiving...

[chuckles] Sure.

[chuckles] Hello, ladies, got some hot, fresh leads for you.

[chuckles] Right? No, no.

[chuckles] Why?

[clears throat] Yes?

[clears throat] Ahem! Ahem!

[coughing] All right, guys.

[coughing] Crazy dirty down here.

[coughs and grunts]

[coughs]

[coughs] I'm good.

[crying]

[Ders on recording] One time, I spit on this pigeon's face,

[exhales deeply]

[gasps]

[gasps] [cat groans]

[gasps] Hide, hide!

[giggles]

[giggling] Just makes me feel this big.

[groans] I don't have any money left.

[gruffly] I have had a bomb delivered to your office.

[grunts]

[grunts] Miss Murphy, I got you

[in British accent] What should we name you?

[laughing]

[laughing]

[laughing] It is you!

[laughing] Laugh, laugh.

[laughing] Oh, [bleep]!

[laughing] Well?

[laughing] Yes, yes, yes.

[laughs]

[laughs]

[laughs] God damn it, Son!

[laughs] This guy knows. Look.

[laughs] Yeah.

[laughs] Oh, no, no, no, no, Ders.

[menacing laughter]

[moaning]

[mocking accent] Did you hear about Denny's?

[mocking accent] Oh, did you? Yeah.

[mockingly] "Dude, I've been to the boneyard more than you."

[panting]

[retches]

[scoffs] Okay.

[screaming]

[screaming]

[screaming] Wasps, wasps!

[screams, shuddering]

[shouting] Open your eyes and get it!

[shouts]

[sighs]

[sighs]

[sighs] I need to smoke some weed.

[sniffs]

[snoring]

[sobbing, shuddering]

[speaking native language]

[squeals]

[squeals] Oh, my God!

[stammers] Ohh...

[stammers] Ohh... Where's my selfie stick?

[straining] And I'm all good. I'm fine.

[strums banjo] What the hell's that?

[vomits loudly]

[whispering] Yes, it's fine.

[yawns loudly]

[yelling] Ders, punch it!

@The3BestFrandz? [gasps]

* Fire up that loud, another round of shots *

* Gotta be fresh

* Grando

* He's insane

* He's insane

* He's insane

* He's insane

* I love my life

* I'm all out of faith *

* I'm fresh

* I'm fresh

* I'm fresh

* I'm fresh

* I'm fresh

* I'm fresh

* I'm fresh

* I'm fresh

* I'm fresh *

* I'm fresh *

* Kick it

* Nothing's fine, I'm torn * No!

* Pick it, pack it, fire it off *

* She'll be coming around the mountain when she comes *

* That's what's going on *

* We're like * Fresh, fresh, fresh

* What do you want?

* Yes, I'm on the white on the outside *

* You gotta, you gotta

7 and 8 diamond.

16? Are you happy?

24, your bet.

200 bones. 200 bones.

200 more! Let's go.

A porno tape?

A sergeant with an upside down

A ton of it's actually smeared

Aah!

Absolutely do not ever jerk off on my computer.

Absolutely.

Act. Acting. Okay, that is it.

Actually, Adam,

Actually, I quit coffee.

Actually, I used a picture of Montez.

Actually, it's kind of creepy when you say it.

Actually, Linda's story spoke to me a lot.

Adam, are you okay? You okay?

Adam, I heard you, since you had this conversation

Adam, ple okay, well, you are on farmersonly.com

Adam, this is, um... this is catnip.

Adam, we cannot handle that bet.

Adam, we're not that good.

Adam, wrong no, this is

Adam, you are pushing

Adam, you're right.

Adam? Yeah, I got you.

Admittedly, that was the worst day of my life...

Admittedly, they're the worst day.

After I left your house on Friday with Denny's,

Aggressive kissing, like Harrison Ford style.

Ah, breakfast booze, my favorite.

Ah, I'm actually just observing the meeting.

Ah, okay, so...

Ah, or we couldn't wear costumes

Ah, that's neither here nor there, but remember

Ah, these women, my gosh.

Ah, well, you know, Erin broke up with me.

Ah, yeah, this is gonna be cool.

Ah!

Ah! Oh!

Ah! It worked! Go!

Ahem. Uh, attention, everyone.

Alice Murphy.

Alice, that's the definition of cool

All I can say is, it was pretty cool

All I know, fellas, is...

All right, boys, I MapQuested the best route,

All right, bye, sweetie.

All right, everybody.

All right, everyone, come and have a seat, please.

All right, everyone, we have a very special guest today.

All right, fine. I'll show you. Fine.

All right, hang in there, buddy.

All right, here we go, here we go.

All right, listen up, everybody.

All right, man, I guess it was a double success,

All right, man. Ho, ho, ho!

All right, okay.

All right, packed house.

All right, see ya at the bar, maybe, next time.

All right, stop.

All right, Tres Delinquentes.

All right, well, I'll think about it.

All right, well, this is how much fun we're gonna have.

All right, who's up next? All right!

All right, women, shut up and stand back.

All right, yes, okay, thank you, that is very sweet.

All right, you got this, DeMamp!

All right!

All right! We won!

All right! Yeah, baby!

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right. Go take a Blake.

All right. Let's heist!

All right. Okay. Let's do it.

All right. There's a visual.

All right. Whoa!

All right. Based on the movies I've seen,

All right. Excuse me, Linda

All right. Fine. Fine, you know what?

All right. Goody, goody, goody.

All right. Got my lube.

All right. Hand it over, NULEAF.

All right. Here you go, partner. Excellent.

All right. Let me just make a little groove here.

All right. Listen up, everybody.

All right. Maybe I am ugly.

All right. What's up? All right, everybody.

All right. Yeah. Cool.

All your ex girlfriends are fives.

All your friends are dead. Now you are too.

Alone.

Also, we're gonna make it

Am I in the wrong here?

America.

America.

And a true pimp playboy for real.

And by golly, the same goes for you, Diane.

And coffee here.

And Dan Yella, what a performance.

And don't forget the...

And go to the timber sports tournament,

And he, um, jerked me off once.

And I am very impressed with what I see,

And I don't want Denny's to hate you,

And I guess it'll take a few seconds to kick in.

And I need but four, okay?

And I visualized this.

And I want to move the spotlight back to me

And I'm absolutely [bleep] serious.

And if you don't hire him, you're gonna regret it

And it doesn't taste like Yoshinoya.

And it's not all Blake's fault, by the way.

And it's very painful

And just so you know, with the purchase of this product,

And make you learn stuff that you probably should know.

And no offense,

And now in. In?

And now just and now just [bleep] it.

And she got a little coochie too.

And some of us are women. Yeah.

And that guy is holding a bong.

And that's fun because, like,

And that's why vigilante group is a great idea.

And that's why you are the quarterback

And that's why you're my best friend.

And the birdwatching.

And the girls have to leave because of this matter?

And the very first product that we're gonna bring to market

And then a order of wings over buffalo for moi.

And then convert all those followers into sales.

And then I'll be the first person

And then we'll go to Chili's.

And then you ejacked in your little boy pants.

And then, Waymond, you're not Redfoo.

And there it is right there

And there it is right there, classic Ders:

And these are gonna be your offices.

And they're jacked into their devices 24/7,

And this asshole hates animals.

And this is her catnip. I know.

And we do alpha shit, like, every day, boy!

And we would've starved to death if Rancho Cuca Pizza

And we're gonna make this the best Ders Day ever.

And what a body.

And why would you ever think that this would be okay?

And you two, it looks like, were really hitting it off.

And your card works there, right?

And, uh, the strippers have been here all night?

And... yeah.

Anders? Anders: What's up?

Another satisfied customer.

Anyway, if you guys ever wanted any pointers, sisters,

Anyway, the artist was Natalie Imbruglia,

Appreciate it.

Appreciate that. Yeah.

Are they hot? Are they breathable?

Are we gonna get those leads anytime soon?

Are you army? Well, yeah.

Are you calling me old?

Are you crying right now?

Are you kidding me? You got it? Dude.

Are you kidding?

Are you okay? Are you okay?

Are you serious? How old am I?

Are you serious? Okay, okay.

Are you serious? What?

Are you seriously asking me for drugs at a N.A. meeting?

Are you using my lotion?

As an executive in charge of our friendship circle,

At least there's liquid coming out.

Aw, yeah. That's so philosophical.

Awesome, very cool. Get out of my way!

Aww. Come on, y'all.

Baby, bam.

Baby, I want that too.

Bad idea. That's, like, not cool, right?

Bam, yeah! I love it! Whoo!

Basically what we've done is taken the sickest

Be careful.

Be good. Hey.

Be sure and wax it.

Beatbox, Blake! Let's go.

Because he's about to be a father.

Because no means...

Because then you get a longer meal.

Because you took something that belongs to my friends

Because...

Bet oh, that was pretty funny bringing bet back.

Beta bitch right here.

Beta bitch, beta bitch.

Beta bitch, beta bitch. Who's the beta bitch?

Beta bitch, beta bitch. You the beta bitch.

Beta bitch, beta bitch. You the beta bitch.

Beta, beta, beta...

Beth, come to me. [falcon screeches]

Bill, is it cool if I get this Gatorade?

Bill, warm up the car.

Billion Man March? What?

Bitch ishness. Yeah, bitchy, bitchy.

Bitch, have you ever met this woman?

Biz nass.

Blackjack.

Blake, I can't do this.

Blake, I don't have time for beef, pal,

Blake, I'm a hound dog,

Blake, look at the bird.

Blake, no offense, but you don't know how to gamble.

Blake, Stop! Hey, hey.

Blake, tell me you got the shot.

Blake, these are your pornogs. Yeah.

Blake, you heard her. Go get some coffee.

Blake, you stupid dumb idiot moron bitch.

Blake, your beatbox is a weak box.

Blake. No!

Blues game.

Bomb threat?

Boo! This guy sucks!

Boss, I heard he was a cop.

Brenda, come on. Look at these losers.

Brian Henson. Enough.

Bush! Which is cool.

But but but I can't. I can't.

But because you loved it. Yeah.

But first I wanna kill something

But I gotta wear this helmet because evidently,

But I know how chicks work.

But I think, uh, if you guys tasted a little wine,

But I'm a pilot in the next scene.

But I'm gonna choke this one down

But I'm out! Yeah, nice.

But it's 4/20, and there's no [bleep] layaway plans, okay?

But she didn't suck

But that's not all.

But we don't need Yeah.

But when it's time, you distract.

But you got it. Yeah, and I texted it.

But you know what?

But, hey, peep that caboose.

Butt [bleep]!

Butthole is on the bottom. [giggling]

By the way, we are just minutes away

Bye bye, cat. Meow!

Bye, cat!

Bye, Daddy.

Bye, Dean! All right.

Can I borrow 100 bucks, actually?

Can I take these blindfolds off?

Can we at least get 42 blunts until we figure this out?

Can we wake her up? Um...

Can you do this?

Can you please just be cool for once in your life?

Can you tell the story faster? 'Cause it's super boring.

Can't see through the sheet, can they?

Can't wait to see it.

Careful. Careful, careful.

Carl, stop! Please, this is my show!

Carry it around at all times. Yeah.

Cash only, gents.

Check it out my dumbass dad

Check it out. Total Package.

Check. Got that.

Chester!

Chili's To Go in this bitch!

Classic sleeper hold, huh?

Classic. Yes.

Cliff? What cliff? [trailing off]

Close it down. Get underneath.

Cocky Periscope. Yeah, I've heard of that.

Come here, little one. It's wet. It's wet trash.

Come here! Jillian, stop.

Come here. You want some sandwich?

Come on in here.

Come on, come on. Go, go, go, go.

Come on, man.

Come on, man. They've all eaten.

Come on!

Come on!

Come on! Over there.

Come on. All right, got it.

Come on. Right.

Come on. Why would you want it so bad?

Congrats, boys. Welcome to TAC Van Nuys,

Congratulations to your boss.

Congratulations.

Congratulations. Good stuff, babe.

Cool teacher. Yeah, he was cool.

Cool. Freaking sick. Yeah.

Cool. Right on.

Corn. So, okay.

Cough up some more, kid,

Could be because you're not a salesman, bitch.

Could you zip me up?

Court mandated meetings, am I right?

Cover the hole! Cover the hole.

Cruising on speedboats, getting turnt? Yeah.

Crybaby.

Cushing, my new boyfriend,

Cushing, shut the [bleep] up, and you just listen!

Daddy.

Damn it, I didn't take my pants off.

Damn it, we're trapped.

Damn! You got pancaked like a bitch!

Dan Bilzerian? From Instagram?

Dang, man,

Dang, what's up with all these snacks?

Dare I say starred in the greatest porno

Dean, how's it going?

Deep down, I'm a great man. Yeah.

Deer? Deers are pretty.

Deleting all this bull[bleep].

DeMamp Camp.

Den Denny's?

Denny's is a chick magnet, just like my falcon

Denny's needs her dad! No, no, no!

Denny's needs her dad! You fricking psycho!

Denny's, that's what we'll call you.

Denny's! Because she needs one!

Denny's.

Ders H.!

Ders, go in there and then rap over his flow,

Ders, hey!

Ders, I am the better beatboxer.

Ders, I heard Jillian,

Ders, just trust the math, okay?

Ders, what's going on?

Ders! Help! Hurry! Hurry!

Diane, what are you doing?

Did he swing at you? Yeah!

Did I miss anything?

Did I stutter?

Did it kill someone, dude? Did you kill someone, dude?

Did you [bleep] a pigeon?

Did you feel that?

Did you hear that? We're meant to be.

Did you just say "Sublime Directory"?

Did you say something?

Did you swing at him? Did he swing at you?

Did your "counter ho gramming" go as planned,

Didi? Oh, ow! More corn snakes!

Didi's, like, a lesbian icon.

Ding dong, ding dong, ding dong, ding dong.

Do I? Yeah.

Do not do that.

Do not stop practicing. I won't.

Do you even know that bitch?

Do you know what I'd do with $500 if I had it?

Do you like farts? I love farts.

Do you mind if we head out the front door, though?

Do you need to see my ID?

Do you see I'm on thin ice? Okay.

Do you want to come back to my place?

Does this look like a rifle?

Doesn't matter anymore.

Doesn't she? That goofy tongue

Don't be sorry about anything

Don't bust on me. Do not bust on him!

Don't give me too much credit. I wish I did that.

Don't say "explosive." All right.

Don't start chanting, please all: Skydiving!

Don't you "Hey, Mommy" me, Daddy,

Don't you patronize me!

Dookie fountain. [laughing]

Dragon Punch! Dragon Punch!

Dramatic? Yeah.

Drink it.

Dro, dro, dro.

Drools. Yeah, you could've finished it.

Drugs?

Dude, I don't even know what that is,

Dude, I just figured out

Dude, I ordered this awesome inflatable chair,

Dude, I saw first. You saw second.

Dude, I'm gonna call my dad. You got to. You have to.

Dude, I've been sober for eight months.

Dude, I've been to the boneyard more than you.

Dude, Karl's sold out of weed.

Dude, scratch your own butt.

Dude, this better not be lame, man.

Dude, this is the perfect chance to unleash Beat Ass.

Dude, this puts Didi in a whole new light.

Dude, what the heck? That's not our tape.

Dude, you know what happens on field trips.

Dude, you're too late, all right?

Dudes, dudes, dudes, check it out.

Encino Oh, my God, man.

Enjoy your night, and tomorrow come see me in my office.

Erin. Let's go home.

Everyone will resume their normal jobs.

Everyone's out. Everyone's safe.

Everything has to be epic.

Everything okay here? Yeah.

Everything's cool, Bill. Thanks.

Evil lurks in Cucamonga.

Ew! Who puked?

Ew! Why? So not

Ew. Was that a poop joke?

Excellent. [laughs]

Except for every day and at night, also.

Except for we didn't lose to the house.

Excuse me, I have a baby coming through.

Excuse me, young lady,

Excuse me!

Excuse me?

Excuse me?

Excuse me?

Excuse me? You heard me.

Excuse me. Excuse me, everyone.

False alarm, everyone.

Fancy meeting you two here. Hi. What's happening?

Fellas, now that I'm a boyfriend,

Finders keepers, losers weepers.

Fine, go!

Fine, okay, I won't,

Fine, then. No more farts. No more farts in our crew.

Fine, you want me to?

Fine!

Fine.

Fine.

Fire! Fire!

Fire! Watch it!

First of all, we want to say that we are sorry

First they take "Ghostbusters," now our phones?

Five seconds. Five seconds.

Fly, Beth! Fly! [falcon screeches]

Flying drop kick attack!

Follow me, @AdamnBilzarian. Got it. Let's go.

Foot.

For sure, millennials.

Forget about it, man, we're toast.

Forget about Ty Dolla $ign. Never forget about 9/11.

Found one. Okay, "VICE" guy, let's roll.

Four, three, two. Hit it. Hit it.

Frank, what's up, dude?

Freaking don't even consider it.

Freaking rock on. Ders, light it up.

Frickin' triple 69. Nice.

From eating each other's butt[bleep],

From one of his two best friends that he lives with.

From this point on, all men are support staff.

Full boat, sixes over aces.

Garbage? Okay, great.

Geez. You know?

Gentlemen, your card.

Get him out of my face!

Get in the [bleep] van.

Get in the box, Magic Blake. Get in the box, Magic Blake.

Get out of my way. Please, just stop.

Get out.

Get the hell out of here!

Get up in there.

Girl, you got a throwback back.

Give it here! Yes!

Go fetch, Stretch. Move it.

Go save the baby. All right, yeah. Hell, yeah.

Go to the arcade. Cool.

Go walking? That's lame.

Go, go, go, go, go! Okay.

Go, go! Scoot!

Go! Run, run, run!

Go! Everyone go! That doesn't make sense.

God bless America.

God damn it, YungChillunerr!

God damn.

God, fine! Family show.

God, I just want to jack off so bad.

God, it seems like the season

God, man, I can't believe I broke my wrist

God, that smelled, like, medically bad, man.

God, you stupid you're so stupid, @YungChillunerr.

Goddamn, I love you, woman.

Gone? Yeah.

Good afternoon, ladies!

Good bye, little angel.

Good for you. That's cool.

Good idea. Great idea. Yeah.

Good job, Goonie.

Good luck with that.

Good.

Good.

Good. And...

Good. Excellent.

Got a large group tonight.

Got it, buddy. That's all I want to do.

Got it. Let's go.

Grab 'em.

Great song. Mm hmm.

Great, Blake. I hope you're happy.

Great, I'll, uh, pay for your new headshots.

Great.

Grow up. [whispers] Yes.

Guess where I did find it, though.

Guess who just signed for it?

Guy that runs the place, JP, is just a real leader.

Guys, I'm sorry, but you can't be in here.

Guys, please.

Guys, relax.

Guys, she told me there was

Guys, there's no haunted. There's no bad juju.

Guys, wait up. Hey, guys. What's the package?

Guys, women rule the world,

Guys? Sigourney?

Guys.

Half? I'm sorry.

Halt!

Halt!

Hang up the phones.

Happy holi damn.

Happy holidays to you. All right.

Happy holidays to you. Yeah.

Happy holidays, my main man. Happy holidays.

Happy holidays.

Happy holidays.

Happy holidays.

Happy holidays.

Happy holidays. Happy holidays.

Happy holidays. Happy holidays.

Happy holidays. Hi!

Havasu? Oh, my God. Dude! Lake Havasu, right?

Have at it, kid.

Have they started yet?

Have you ever been to a fondue restaurant?

Have you ever heard of a man named Dan Bilzerian?

Have you forgotten what's it's like to make a sale?

He he didn't push the button.

He actually was a real big liar.

He cheated!

He did fart. He did fart.

He did it.

He is. You're selling 9/11 memorabilia

He just touched his ding dong. Ticktock, ticktock.

He said no.

He should've said, uh, Garfield.

He turned his phone off.

He will be back tomorrow.

He's a bitch. [doorbell rings]

He's a dummy, Adam. 'Kay, Ders.

He's a hot piece of ass, right?

He's already a father, okay?

He's pissed. Man, later.

He's right. That story really fizzled.

He's the leader of the most brutal biker gang in the state.

He's three, you dummy.

He's with me. And for the last time,

Heaps of balls. Ah!

Hear ye, hear ye, animal lovers!

Heard you've been asking about the Zip.

Heck yeah. Okay. Tez, on fleek.

Heck, yeah. What the [bleep]?

Heist this bitch. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Helicopter your wang!

Hell no. Friendship attack!

Hello, and... welcome!

Hello, bartender,

Hello, TAC.

Hello?

Hello?

Hello. That's what you get

Help!

Here she comes, here she comes.

Here you go. Give me the phone.

Here, I'll turn on some music to distract you.

Here, let me just I'll show you.

Here, take my seat.

Here, there's that.

Here, you know what?

Here's her stuff.

Here's the main target, right here.

Here's the plan:

Hey, "fyi,"

Hey, Anders, are you with us or, like

Hey, ass wipes, let my friends go.

Hey, Bill, thanks for driving us home, bud.

Hey, Bill. Could we talk?

Hey, bitch. Ooh, sorry.

Hey, Blake, I was hoping we could put all the bad stuff

Hey, Blake.

Hey, Blake. What?

Hey, buddy. A little medium raw, please.

Hey, can we focus?

Hey, check it out. Pretty cool, huh?

Hey, Dad. Yeah, Son?

Hey, Didi, uh, could you help me with something real quick?

Hey, dinosaurs,

Hey, don't!

Hey, gals, check out my new assistant.

Hey, gals, got a tasty bit of trivia.

Hey, get back here! Let's go!

Hey, good dealing out there.

Hey, guys, over here...

Hey, guys, the van's out back.

Hey, guys?

Hey, guys.

Hey, hey, hey, it's Ray.

Hey, how are you gonna be fighting crime

Hey, I do not act like a bitch.

Hey, I don't know about you guys,

Hey, I know what you're thinking

Hey, I mean, I just figured, you know,

Hey, if you guys figure it out, do not tell me,

Hey, look at the time. It's already wine:30.

Hey, man, forget her. Forget the cat, right?

Hey, psst. Jesus.

Hey, remember that slot joke I just said?

Hey, Son.

Hey, that lady's back issue is giving me a front issue

Hey, that wasn't such a bad idea.

Hey, there's still one score left.

Hey, uh, I don't know if you wanted to take a shower,

Hey, uh... What?

Hey, um, look, Blake,

Hey, well, if you guys want to meet that darn cat,

Hey, what ow! Ow, there's thorns.

Hey, what in the Dark Ages are you doing?

Hey, what up? Oh, yeah, pound it.

Hey, who is that guy? He's really funny.

Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!

Hey, whoa. You can't go in there.

Hey, you broke my aerator. Now we're having fun!

Hey, you guys. Oh!

Hey, you seem nervous, dude.

Hey! All right, at least those...

Hey! Hey! He just took the tape.

Hey! How are you?

Hey. Hey.

Hey. What up?

Hey. Hey, how are you?

Hey. Hey. Am I gonna have to separate you two?

Hey. Okay. Okay.

Hey. Wine is inside.

Hi there. Hi.

Hi, Denny's.

Hi, everybody. I'm Sigourney Goulet.

Hi, honey, how was work?

Hi, um, question

Hi! Ah!

Hi. Hey.

Hi. I'm Erin.

Hi. I'm Erin.

Histor she. No, no, no, no, no.

Hit it right in the face, right in the beak.

Hiyah!

Hmm, I'm sorry to be a wet blanket here.

Hmm, okay.

Hmm.

Ho, ho, ho!

Honestly, every person I run into keeps blabbing

Honestly, it would mean the world to us

Honestly, it's not even your fault, dude.

Honestly, JP, you are such a great leader,

Honestly, really good stuff. I was good.

Honestly, we were wrong about you.

Honestly, you look uglier. Yeah.

Hoo rah!

Hoo, hoo, hoo!

Hope you're happy, Andy,

Hot damn! Oh!

Hot water's on the fritz,

How about a Cab'?

How are we cursed? We smoked the peace pipe

How could you do me like that, Sandman?

How dare you.

How did you land that, dude? [laughing]

How do we know it's not a trick?

How do you chumps know this cop?

How long has it been?

How many of you are sick of pretending

How many? How many fingers am I holding up? How many?

Howdy.

Huh? Hmm?

Huh? It's not here!

Huh? No!

Huh? Pretty cool, huh?

Huh.

Huh. Hmm.

I No, I didn't think so.

I I know I'm getting bits and pieces of information.

I what are you talking about?

I almost died for that ditch weed, okay?

I also heard that you're a cop.

I always knew math was a hoax.

I am Johnny Glass!

I am not jealous.

I am the Assistant Director of the museum,

I am. I am a little bit.

I bet I'm gonna have, like, superhero powers.

I better never see you in this museum ever again!

I brought a kiwi.

I came here to do two things

I can do it with my eyes closed.

I can smell you through the glass.

I can't I can't I can't do this.

I can't be in a picture with these guys.

I can't believe Ders thinks we're gonna sit around

I can't choose one. Well, you kind of have to.

I can't do this without drugs.

I can't fight a woman, Bill.

I can't freaking believe

I can't hear you. We got the hookup.

I check.

I couldn't [bleep] to that if I tried.

I curse you, Jen D'Angelo.

I did not move the moola.

I did not smoke a beef pipe. Let it be known.

I did.

I didn't get a notification.

I didn't think about that. Yeah.

I do. It's okay, bud.

I don't even know what to do since we can't jerk off.

I don't give a [bleep].

I don't hate you, Blake. Okay.

I don't have bobby pins. Yes, you do.

I don't know how to feel about that.

I don't know what you're talking about.

I don't know what you're waiting for.

I don't know why you guys are talking to each other

I don't know.

I don't know.

I don't know. Stop!

I don't know. both: Hey.

I don't know. I don't know.

I don't know. I farted.

I don't remember anything before putting on this apron

I don't think so, son. Okay.

I don't think so.

I don't think so. Check it out.

I don't understand what the big deal is.

I don't want to let go, but I have to

I don't. You've never seen it hard.

I feel like it's lost all of its nuance.

I find you attractive.

I fold too.

I forgot about that, dude! Yes, dude!

I get it. I am a beta B word, yes,

I get it. Like ejaculation. Yeah, to clean up.

I got in a fight in the parking lot.

I got it You got the shot?

I got it, I got it, I got it, I got it.

I got it. You're good.

I got to say something.

I gotta talk to Linda.

I guess we still are, because you only did, like,

I guess you could watch the rats [bleep] out back.

I hate sleeping on the floor.

I hate that word.

I have a son?

I have been in the shit, you understand?

I have no idea what this guy's talking about,

I have no idea. We'll figure it out.

I haven't seen you since drama camp.

I heard about it. Yeah.

I hope that doesn't ruin any thoughts that are

I hope you little turd boys like getting arrested,

I just called her, okay?

I just can't seem to drag myself in there.

I just got It's me. Trilly Zane.

I just need to verify the authenticity of this ring.

I just want a moment. We just want one moment.

I just want to use my muscles and my mind

I just want you to know that I'm a bad daddy.

I just wanted to show you a little something with my, uh,

I just wanted to take a second

I kind of like it. Still not friends.

I knew it. What's going on?

I know that's a lie. I've seen your dick.

I know you told me that you have a very big penis.

I know, I promise you I'm a regular normal guy

I know, that's why I did that. Let's go! Come on!

I like Ders when he's like this.

I like that idea, man.

I like that one. Thank you.

I look weird without it, but thank you

I lost my legs in Afghanistan, bro.

I love decor.

I love Hometown Buffet. Me too.

I love Mike in Brazil,

I love that idea.

I love this. Stand back.

I mean I can't believe

I mean in a good way.

I mean there's literally no other man

I mean what are we doing?

I mean, he did always love that.

I mean, I didn't recognize you.

I mean, I don't know how he finds time to take a nap.

I mean, I knew today was gonna end with an ambulance ride.

I mean, I still got the jambo pic.

I mean, it's different, you know?

I mean, maybe Yes!

I mean, of the kids.

I mean, the real question is,

I mean, this is a card table.

I mean, this ring is worth 5,000.

I mean, we're at a card table right now.

I need it.

I need my first cup of coffee ever, immediately.

I need this. Meow!

I need you to be 100% real with me when I ask you

I never knew what beef you were talking about.

I ran a stoplight, slammed on the brakes,

I really do. Hey, Dean o, what got stolen?

I remember that movie.

I said we were talking about the Asian guy,

I say let it fly,

I scared her. Just get down.

I scared the [bleep] out of that dude!

I see that you've met my sister, Juliette.

I see you!

I should've known that.

I still have the horn.

I swear on Jim Henson's life.

I swore on Jim Henson's life.

I think I'm gonna go and let you two work this out.

I think it's down this way.

I think my stripper fainted.

I think that's us.

I think we knew.

I thought it was good. Good presentation.

I thought it was hilarious.

I want it.

I want to see a birth certificate.

I want to sit next to you.

I want you guys to go ahead,

I want you to be a good daddy,

I want you to be Sales Team Six!

I was finally like, "You know, life's too short."

I was just reading the web. Yeah. Relax. It's fine.

I was just showing you what I can do.

I was, um...

I went to Tanzania last summer.

I will cutty cut you.

I wish I would have had some beers in here

I won't do that. Ready, Blake?

I work at a regular job with an outdated business model.

I would I would I would never do that.

I would if I could see it.

I wouldn't mind looking in her slot.

I wouldn't worry about me, guys.

I, uh, I was Lenny's, uh, understudy's backup's stand in.

I'd like that...Mommy.

I'd like to give it a shot. [grunts loudly]

I'd love to just talk on the bus.

I'll admit it, guys. We suck at chicks.

I'll be back.

I'll cut your freaking dick off, then.

I'll do anything for the meth.

I'll freaking miss you, you jerk.

I'll go get you a knife, Knife Guy.

I'll help. Sure, yeah.

I'll just take one of your bobby pins.

I'll live with that.

I'll play with her boobs all I want, Ders.

I'll show you crazy! Oh, yeah!

I'll tell you, Alice. Three.

I'm I'm cool. I'm not an addict.

I'm a no.

I'm a falconer, so that's exciting.

I'm actually having some dirty thoughts about you and me.

I'm actually looking for someone

I'm actually not getting a dial tone.

I'm also a bad mommy.

I'm always down for something new.

I'm American. Let's see a birth certificate.

I'm beginning to think

I'm going to Havasu!

I'm gonna kill you, you stupid idiot.

I'm having fun. Here, here.

I'm his wife. Who are you?

I'm home!

I'm impressed. Okay.

I'm in love, yeah. That's adorable.

I'm just doing what feels right, okay?

I'm Leonard, Angela,

I'm next!

I'm not nervous. Why you nervous?

I'm not scaring the fart out of you.

I'm not sure that's on brand for me, bro.

I'm not sure what you said,

I'm okay.

I'm only here 'cause my mom dragged me here.

I'm out of penicillin.

I'm ready to rip!

I'm rich!

I'm so sorry. We're gonna kick your ass!

I'm sorry, but isn't it illegal to allow someone

I'm sorry; what is going on, and who are you?

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. What was that?

I'm still not fully on board. I know you can't see me,

I'm supposed to diddle Didi!

I'm sure he was what you were trying to say was,

I'm sure you may have heard that we are taking over

I'm the baller shot caller.

I've actually spent my childhood locating bird dicks.

I've been watching you very closely this week.

I've got a poo disc in the freezer, if you want it?

I've got visual,

I've never noticed that.

I've seen it dozens of times. Not hard.

I've wanted you to stare at me.

If anybody tries to take my picture,

If I get my phone, I'll squash all the beef you want.

If some old man says to you, "No,"

If you could just please get in the box.

If you get what I'm saying.

If you guys get to 200 sales, 400 total for tonight,

If you guys would just give the dudes

If you must.

Imagination is a powerful thing.

In seventh grade, we played spin the bottle,

Instagram. Got it. Got it. Go. Go.

Is it already my turn?

Is it huge? Like, what does it look

Is it on? Yeah.

Is it?

Is that right?

Is there something out here I'm supposed to see?

Is this a new piece they're opening

Is this true, Jillian?

Is this, by any chance, how you got your blade legs?

It ain't smart to be asking questions about Zippo.

It couldn't it wouldn't be, like, my pet hawk or anything.

It does. Just a little bit harsh.

It doesn't

It goes around. It goes around.

It is a cute little baby kitty cat, isn't it?

It is. Loin's for closers.

It makes cooking eggs up to 65% easier.

It means that that staff is... [imitates blade cutting]

It means, like, you're always getting hurt.

It might be time for us to not be alpha dogs anymore

It was bad, and they always are.

It was. Uh, Blink 182.

It'll take any shirt

It's "The Nutting Professor."

It's a it's a roof Goldberg.

It's a delicate dance. It's a tango, okay?

It's a Ders Day, baby!

It's a heist, guys. I love heists.

It's a marble. Yeah.

It's a miracle you haven't already.

It's a real gummy meat.

It's about to get a little bit more epic,

It's all right, bud.

It's all well and good,

It's almost like eating a wet paper towel in a way.

It's an original piece.

It's because he likes to set people on fire.

It's been a while since I've gone on a tour,

It's big. Jillian, that is badass.

It's Brownton!

It's Cushing.

It's for closers. Yeah, we're closers, so...

It's gargling. Dude, Blake. Hey, whoa, whoa.

It's just me and you here.

It's like "Showdown in Little Tokyo."

It's livestreaming video.

It's mine, sorry.

It's not a Chili's. It's a museum.

It's not a scam. Yes, they are.

It's not gonna do it itself.

It's okay. This happens sometimes.

It's squashed. Is it squashed?

It's the end of the line, boys.

It's thick.

Jacking and stacking, baby.

Jeez, Ders, you almost scared the fart out of me.

Jesus!

Jillian says she needs you

Jillian! Hey, hey, no, no, no, no.

Jillian?

Jillian. Hey, Mommy.

Jim Henson has been dead for years!

Johnny Glass!

Johnny Glass. [laughs]

JP, why don't you kick things off?

Judge, I just want you to know

Just a second. Did you get a email?

Just avoid that unless she says not to.

Just choose one! What are we doing?

Just come out. We'll let you go.

Just gamble take the bet or don't.

Just get in there! Get in there!

Just give me one moment. No Don't touch me. Fine.

Just give me one moment. Ugh.

Just let him do it. Yeah.

Just need a smoke, man.

Just one of everything.

Just put these chairs in here.

Just save me a seat next to you.

Just the fact that we've been kind of fighting.

Just throw 'em all over the place,

Just way out of date.

Just...

Karate kick. Yeah, bud!

Karl, give me my phone.

Keep "potty ing."

Keep a lookout. Oh, yeah.

Keep an eye on him.

Keep telling yourself that, Blake.

Kerplunk.

Ladies and gentlemen,

Ladies and gentlemen, we invite you

Last time I saw Frank, I said to myself,

Last year, you know I sold out by noon?

Let him land!

Let me be very clear.

Let me do my magic. I'm gonna step back,

Let me in! Let me in!

Let me saw! Oh.

Let me smell your breath, McBreath.

Let's be sure and tag each other,

Let's get nuts! Yeah. Yeah.

Let's go shmoke a bowl. All right.

Let's go skydiving!

Let's go. Thanks, Frank.

Let's go. Everybody.

Let's introduce ourselves, I guess.

License plate. License plate.

Like you like you have life insurance, pal.

Like, a secret mission to steal something?

Like, seven or eight dicks.

Like, two Christmases ago, you said

Linda's did? Yeah.

LinkedIn is for lame old try hards.

Listen up.

Little worried. Ow!

Lock it! Lock it! Lock it! Lock it!

Loin is for closers only.

Look at her butt. Cool. That's awesome.

Look at this.

Look, Blake, you're a good guy,

Look, guys, I just want to say

Look, we got those scores on our own.

Love the hair, man.

Love those guys. Surprise smooch.

Lower. Yeah.

Magic!

Make a sa Oh, cool, yeah.

Make something up. I don't know.

Man, I bet he's hogging out as well.

Man, lead with that.

Man, really? I mean,

Man, this sucks that you're only gonna

Man.

Maybe I could go catfish some people,

Maybe I did the fuse wrong.

Maybe one of you guys can do it.

McBreath?

Me and Pauly are old friends, and, uh, he lost a bet.

Me too.

Me? Cool.

Me. I am, Pauly.

Meanwhile, Blake and I, we're gonna be over here in the 'Vo.

Men doing men stuff! We got this.

Meth. Okay, we're doing it.

Might've broke the Dig right on in, baby.

Mm hmm, yeah. Some lean, sizzurp.

Mm hmm, yup. We're not strange.

Mm hmm.

Mm hmm.

Mm hmm.

Mm hmm. And who is this

Mm hmm. Is that I'm gonna

Mm hmm. Mm hmm.

Mm hmm. Oh, my God.

Mm hmm. Right? Is it?

Mm hmm. Yeah. For example, Ghostman.

Mm mm? What?

Mm, all you can eat, baby, Hometown Buffet.

Mm, in fact, there's no leftover loin. Ders...

Mm, okay. Can I talk to you for a second?

Mm, well, actually, sweetheart, bagels

Mm. And I have, actually.

Mm. Whoa.

Mm...want something here.

Mmm, no, you guys are gonna have to leave.

Mmm, nope.

Mmm.

Mmm. Mm mm.

Mmm. Yeah.

Mommy made a made a cat tower.

Movie night, baby. I love it.

Mr. Buckley?

Mr. DeMamp,

Mr. Glass it is, sure.

Mwah ah uh uh.

My beautiful boys are in there! Save them!

My boy. I know you ca you

My friend Karl Karl?

My kind of role. Okay.

My little baby!

My moon and stars.

My name is Chill Sergeant DeMamp,

My name's Anders. Call me Ders, though.

My next target is Rancho,

My real name's Brian,

My Tamagotchi died.

Nah, the Internet is garbage.

Never!

News boobies. Yeah.

Nice, dude. Hold up. Ders, what?

Nice!

Nice!

Nice!

Nice!

Nice.

Nice.

Nice.

Nice.

Nice.

Nice.

Nice.

Nice. Good call.

Nips, and then the Play Doh tour, that was the shit.

No I You did check on that, right?

No cranking down. Okay.

No means yes. No means yes. No means yes.

No offense, but you're uglier and not as talented.

No offense.

No, actually, don't forget about it,

No, actually, I didn't.

No, before that.

No, but how about a transfer to TAC Van Nuys?

No, but I did the "Sesame Street" live tour,

No, forget about it, man!

No, he's not, he's showing all the symptoms

No, hey, hey! Hey, so you probably

No, hey. He's good.

No, I no, I don't. Yes.

No, I didn't why no, I spit.

No, I don't

No, I push, and you pull on my count.

No, I think it's actual catnip.

No, I think somebody got a text.

No, I was waiting for that notification on my phone

No, I'll marry a fart, I swear to

No, I'm I'm a reporter for "VICE" magazine.

No, I'm gonna stay here. I have work to do.

No, I'm kind of in a groove. Just back off.

No, I'm not crazy. There's a cat in there.

No, I'm not okay. Everything's going wrong.

No, I'm not.

No, I'm still doing telemarketing for TAC.

No, I'm talking about my son Y'all.

No, it didn't, 'cause we're not.

No, it's a pipe cleaner. Okay, just use it.

No, it's Didi. Oh...

No, it's livestreaming video.

No, it's not badass. It's embarrassing.

No, my boy Juan Carlos took these.

No, no, Ed's Jug House, the bar.

No, no, no, I'm just gonna drink the Red Bull.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no!

No, no, no, no, no, still working at Van Nuys.

No, no, no, no, no!

No, no, no, no, no.

No, no, no, no, no. Gnargoyle doesn't sit in cars.

No, no, no, no, no. Let me get it.

No, no, no, no.

No, no, no, no. Come on,

No, no, no, no. $5,000? We can't

No, no, no, there's a little kitty cat in here.

No, no, no, this is

No, no, no, you're an idiot, and I'm in charge.

No, no, no. Keep this pace.

No, no, you've got to

No, no. Just kidding.

No, no. You're not unleashing Beat Ass,

No, of course not. [sighs]

No, pretty terrified about doing that

No, probably not,

No, sweetheart.

No, that's true.

No, two weeks that's my limit on any job, dude.

No, we are the Timberlakes,

No, we didn't.

No, we just thought we heard somebody eat boxing.

No, you a coke dealer.

No, you can't, because I'm about to christen this

No, you get in the box, man.

No, you said, the house always

No, you're my dude. Blake's my man.

No, zero.

No!

No!

No! All right?

No! No! That wasn't I'm not a piece of meat!

No? Mm hmm.

No.

No.

No. Every day.

No. I will bust on you!

No. I'll go talk to her.

No. I'm actually kind of excited.

No. Watch this.

No. What did you just say?

No. Yeah.

No. Actually, hold on.

No. But I am going to sleep better at night,

No. I bought this, okay? I lied about the heist

No. I wouldn't think so. No.

No. I'm serious, man.

No. Just keep texting.

No. Klout is this super chill metric that tells you

No. Next run? There's not a next run.

No. No, no. I know. I'm not saying that.

No. Not down there.

No. What are you okay. Yes, I did.

Nobody sells around here unless I say so.

Nope, that's just a hawk I've never met before.

Nope.

Nope. That's her, isn't it?

Not at all.

Not bad, babe.

Not brands.

Not good at all. Not good?

Not hard.

Not really. I don't. Okay.

Not running. Not running.

Not so fast, punk!

Not straight up, but just kind of up and forward.

Not the pandas, Bill!

Note to self don't try Periscope.

Nothing but energy drinks and freakin' plan B pills, baby!

Nothing that a little meth won't fix,

Nothing. Yeah.

Now we're talking.

Now, I'm gonna put this box over your head, right,

Now, on my count, let's saw! Okay.

Now, who her wants a Carl's Jr. sausage, egg,

Obviously.

Obviously. Yeah. Yeah.

Of course I do. She's my wife.

Of course I'm real.

Of course she has, for our 13th wedding anniversary.

Of course they're great for kids.

Of course, yes.

Of course. Of course. Thanks, Blake.

Of what, cranking down?

Oh you scared me, dude.

Oh ho ho ho ho, dude.

Oh, all right, Bill's mix tape.

Oh, all right. Yeah.

Oh, and she only eats off of a frisbee.

Oh, and the reason for that is because I did poop my pants.

Oh, are you okay, Pauly? Watch out, Adam!

Oh, Blake,

Oh, Chili's! Ooh!

Oh, come on, dude.

Oh, come on!

Oh, come on!

Oh, come on! Denny's!

Oh, come on.

Oh, damn it, Blake. Ah, Blake!

Oh, damn.

Oh, Denny's? Oh I whoa.

Oh, did I forget to tell you guys?

Oh, do you want me to chill?

Oh, don't you turn your backs on me!

Oh, dude, check it out.

Oh, dude, that is funny, dude!

Oh, dude. Perfect timing.

Oh, excuse me, pardon me.

Oh, Frank's the worst.

Oh, give it a rest, Henderson.

Oh, go, go, go! Oh, crap!

Oh, God, Jillian's dumpster talking again.

Oh, God, we got to save it. We got to save her.

Oh, God.

Oh, God. And I'm over it.

Oh, goddamn.

Oh, good for you guys.

Oh, good. Since you're so interested.

Oh, gross. It doesn't smell great.

Oh, happy holidays!

Oh, heads up, Jillian. Coffee is for closers.

Oh, here's the lock.

Oh, hey, finger skater boy.

Oh, hey, uh, is it garbage day?

Oh, hey, would it be easier

Oh, I need it.

Oh, I never suspected you had a brain.

Oh, I ruined my best khakis.

Oh, I saw it. Dude, he is fully hogging.

Oh, I thought it was gonna break.

Oh, I thought it was like a score

Oh, is that funny to you?

Oh, is that so? Nobody gets their

Oh, Jesus! Oh, man!

Oh, let me see your ID, 'cause I'm pretty sure it reads Anders.

Oh, let's do that. Yeah, definitely do that.

Oh, let's do this.

Oh, lights out, babe.

Oh, like like what?

Oh, look, I'm making the Jell O.

Oh, man, I love you right back.

Oh, me?

Oh, my God, Ders, come out here!

Oh, my God, that was close. Okay.

Oh, my God, we won! I won? We won?

Oh, my God!

Oh, my God! What do you mean?

Oh, my God! What is going on?

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God. Ders, look,

Oh, my God. He escaped.

Oh, my God. What?

Oh, my God. No, it's Beth.

Oh, my God. Okay.

Oh, my God. You followed me.

Oh, my gosh, I thought that was

Oh, my gosh, this is sad.

Oh, my gosh, this is what the world's coming to.

Oh, my gosh, what happened?

Oh, my gosh! Yes!

Oh, my gosh.

Oh, my gosh.

Oh, my stars. You weren't kidding.

Oh, nice. They're good, right?

Oh, no, I wanted it to be a surprise for my love

Oh, no, more like a phone head shark, because this dude

Oh, no, no, no, I want to see the look on my love's face

Oh, no, no, no, no, no.

Oh, no, no, no, no, no.

Oh, no, no, no, no, not again.

Oh, no, no, no, no. Not yet, okay?

Oh, no, oh, no. No! No!

Oh, no, she's not a famous actress.

Oh, no, the Volvo!

Oh, no, you all right?

Oh, no.

Oh, no. He's getting into a minivan.

Oh, no. That's No! Oh, Jesus Christ.

Oh, oh, I know what it is.

Oh, oh, that was goddamn loony tunes.

Oh, okay, okay. Oh, no.

Oh, okay. Also, and I don't feel like

Oh, okay. Dude, you know what?

Oh, okay. That's not a bad idea.

Oh, okay. Yeah.

Oh, or why don't I tell corporate that ever since

Oh, ouch! Bill, what's wrong with you?

Oh, please enlighten us.

Oh, really? You know what you're doing?

Oh, really? You want me to call the cops, Blake?

Oh, right. I wound up...

Oh, she's still in there! Oh, my God, where's Sigourney?

Oh, thank God.

Oh, thanks, dude. Hit that there.

Oh, that's dumb.

Oh, that's me. That's me.

Oh, that's right.

Oh, that's what it is.

Oh, the house always wins. Yes.

Oh, the roll around the dinner table.

Oh, there was some poop in the toot.

Oh, there you are! See?

Oh, this is why.

Oh, this isn't a duel, Ders, okay?

Oh, very un mad. It's a lot of fun.

Oh, wait. Hold up.

Oh, we need to squash the beef and lift the curse.

Oh, we should go skydiving! Finally.

Oh, well, I didn't die in my sleep,

Oh, well, I dream journal, so

Oh, well, let's see what your real name is.

Oh, well, maybe Adam can go.

Oh, what am I doing?

Oh, what the hell?

Oh, World Star. World Star.

Oh, wow, does Daddy think it's a good idea

Oh, wow. And I shot a rhino,

Oh, wow. Gorgeous photos.

Oh, yeah, for us?

Oh, yeah, that does not make sense, Adam.

Oh, yeah, that's a tight squeeze.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Oh, yeah, yeah!

Oh, yeah?

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah. That's where it's at.

Oh, yeah. Mmm.

Oh, yeah. There it is. Whoa, what are you hey.

Oh, yeah. Those are nice.

Oh, yeah. Those are sweater pups.

Oh, yeah. We gonna tear it up.

Oh, yes!

Oh, you ain't going anywhere, round boy.

Oh, you are so slow at sawing.

Oh, you are too kind.

Oh, you gonna take it personal, okay.

Oh, you have? Yeah.

Oh, you made it.

Oh, you thought it was just a coincidence

Oh, you're a knife guy. I knew it.

Oh, you're dating yourself.

Oh, you're on blast. Uh oh.

Oh, you're playing too?

Oh, you're the guy from the video that we just watched.

Oh!

Oh!

Oh! It worked!

Oh! Oh, it worked!

Oh! Oh.

Oh! That's good.

Oh! What are you doing?

Oh! Yeah!

Oh! Ah! [cracking]

Oh! And I even walked in slow mo.

Oh! Dudes, I'm sold out. Like, entirely.

Oh! Oh, Pauly Shore! Oh, Pauly Shore!

Oh! Oh, that's right!

Oh! Oh! Dude! You got in a fight, dude!

Oh! Okay. [crowd gasps]

Oh! Up top! Oh, man. Awesome. Great work.

Oh! Yeah, it was. Cool!

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh. Ah, it's locked!

Oh. I don't know.

Oh. It's just a whole process.

Oh. Obviously, yeah.

Oh. Ooh.

Oh. How many tours you do, Sergeant?

Oh. Mm hmm.

Oh. Okay. I'm sorry.

Oh. What's up, dude? Wow.

Oh...

Ohh! No, let me help ya!

Ohh. Right?

Ohh... Nice.

Okay, a Jug House meth dealer, yes, yes.

Okay, Alice, hey, real quick,

Okay, Alice, what are we supposed to do, then, huh?

Okay, Alice.

Okay, all right, all right. All right, sorry.

Okay, and the clitoris is in here?

Okay, are you being serious right now?

Okay, as The Woodsmen... Right, yeah.

Okay, Blake catfished this woman...

Okay, buddy, let's go. Okay, ready?

Okay, bye.

Okay, come on.

Okay, cool, so I'm like eye candy and all that.

Okay, cut it out, Adam.

Okay, cut the camera. Yeah, right.

Okay, cut.

Okay, Ders, you almost scared the fart out of me.

Okay, do you wanna know what's cool?

Okay, don't you throw logic in my face.

Okay, dude, curses are very real.

Okay, everyone just calm down.

Okay, fine. Let's just go to Chili's.

Okay, great, but just because you've got a girl

Okay, here, you're about halfway. My turn.

Okay, here. You're missing these chips.

Okay, how do you make the eyes blink?

Okay, how would I patronize you

Okay, I can see what you guys are doing

Okay, I don't have tiny spaghetti fingers, all right?

Okay, I don't know what this is about,

Okay, I know we were never in a group with Bill

Okay, I think I lost her.

Okay, I was gonna say.

Okay, I'll let Ders know.

Okay, I'm coming, I'm coming.

Okay, I'm done.

Okay, I'm gonna go.

Okay, I'm not just gonna sell this.

Okay, I'm sorry.

Okay, just give us two secs.

Okay, just let me put the record on.

Okay, just say it once.

Okay, lesson number one.

Okay, let's roll camera.

Okay, listen up.

Okay, look, now you have your phone, Ders.

Okay, Mama's a whale.

Okay, no,

Okay, no, that's [belches]

Okay, okay. She's gonna say not to.

Okay, she's sleeping. Shh.

Okay, shh. Just listen.

Okay, so for the X Games submission,

Okay, so here's the deal.

Okay, so I need you guys to help me film it.

Okay, so I no longer have to waste valuable time

Okay, so you all passed.

Okay, stop yelling.

Okay, stop. Wait, hold on.

Okay, stripper pole is secure.

Okay, thanks, guys. I appreciate it.

Okay, that's secure. Excellent.

Okay, the phone's this way. Come on, let's go.

Okay, then, you can work the rest

Okay, this is what I call the twister

Okay, this sounds like a great investment,

Okay, uh... Yeah.

Okay, wait. Let me get this straight.

Okay, we got this, then. Sure.

Okay, well, she's lucky I don't have my bo staff.

Okay, well, that's funny you should say that,

Okay, well, this is a safe place, so shut up.

Okay, what? What are we stealing?

Okay, yeah, 'cause I'm crazy.

Okay, yeah, actually we are. I need some manswers, dude,

Okay, yeah, and I'll get back to you

Okay, yeah, I gotta go.

Okay, yeah.

Okay, yeah. But thank you.

Okay, yeah. Fine.

Okay, yes, yeah, and you were wonderful.

Okay, you almost forgot the barbecue sauce!

Okay, you guys! Okay, stop.

Okay, you're all set!

Okay? No!

Okay? See? I would need hot tea.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay. [imitates record scratching]

Okay. All right.

Okay. Are we ready?

Okay. Ashtray.

Okay. Great.

Okay. Hey, um, Alice?

Okay. Jillian, hey!

Okay. My plan A is plan B.

Okay. Now just [bleep] the ground.

Okay. Oh, God.

Okay. Oh, hey, hey!

Okay. Okay, yeah.

Okay. Okay.

Okay. Pop it! Pop it!

Okay. Right. Right.

Okay. There you go, buddy.

Okay. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

Okay. What where are we?

Okay. Whoo!

Okay. Yeah.

Okay. All right.

Okay. Can y'all hear me?

Okay. He has a name, all right,

Okay. Hey, just follow me. Yeah, okay.

Okay. I

Okay. I was confused. Yeah.

Okay. I wasn't gonna do this,

Okay. Junior, hydration station.

Okay. Um...

Okay. Very positive.

Okay. Where's the bed?

Okay. Yes. She's right here.

One momento.

One second, Mel.

One second. Right on.

One! Two!

Only $1,500.

Only when I'm in your room, jerking off on your computer.

Ooh hoo. Because,

Ooh rah! Okay.

Ooh, I know how bad that can get.

Ooh, I know.

Ooh, I like it. Impressive.

Ooh, what about Bonnie?

Ooh, whoa.

Ooh, yeah!

Ooh!

Ooh! I'm talking about your dick.

Ooh.

Ooh.

Ooh. Okay, turn, so I can see.

Ooh. She is one bad mama jamma.

Oops. Uh oh.

Ouch, Bill. My Klout Score.

Our house could always be winning if we were the casino.

Our little cat, Denny's.

Ow, ow, ow, ow.

Ow, ow.

Ow! Happy four twizzle.

Pace yourself, bud.

Package?

Parentheses, not the pedophile movie

Part of our nature, because we're alpha dogs.

Pauly, are you all right? Pauly, are you all right?

Pauly, I'm gonna spin off this bar,

Paw prints. Hmm.

Pick one of us right now. Please don't do this to me!

Pipe it up with my amigos.

Pleasure.

Polaroids are a throwback, and that means that is dope.

Poor guy. [cell phone chimes]

Pornographic memory. I just

Premature ejaculation

Pretty cool we got our jobs back,

Psst. Hey, Brenda! Hold this.

Put the artifacts down now.

Ready to go? Ow!

Really, that was solid.

Really? Yeah.

Really? You guys do that.

Really? I kind of like it.

Remember to follow me, YungChillunerr on Snapchat.

Right, but also the plan

Right, you have bitch ish ways about you.

Right? Hey, guys.

Right? Right.

Right? Try it?

Right? Where's that cat?

Right.

Right. Exactly.

Right. I know it, man.

Right. Yeah.

Right. You're right, Blake.

Right... side of the law.

Roller skate guy, you're up!

Round boy?

Run. Run!

Sad. Nothing's there.

Sah wee. Okay.

Sawing into the bathroom floor

Say my name! Everybody!

Say something, you [bleep] weirdo.

Scoot! Scoot!

Screw you for taking us to a fricking museum.

See the world, really.

See ya.

See you later, guys. What are you doing?

See you later, guys. Eat [bleep], Adam.

See you tomorrow, VIPs. Yeah!

Seems stupid. Seems really dumb.

Sell me on each other.

Sell me.

Sell these [bleep] things!

Seriously, thank you for saying that.

Serve my man up with some of that indo, my dude.

Several of the actors refused

She she gets it. Yep.

She did. So I can say that.

She gone?

She has the sweetest little face.

She probably doesn't.

She sure was.

She's a whale. No, she's not.

She's alive, barely.

She's in there. Come here, kitty!

She's milking your money teat, Blake.

She's not a bitch, okay?

She's pretty alive. Yeah.

She's special.

She's still warm, right? Whoo!

Shh sure couldn't be that.

Shh, be quiet! Ow!

Shh, silence.

Shh!

Shh! Quiet!

Shh! We do not have time for this, okay?

Shh. Stop encouraging him, please.

Shh. Everyone, be professional.

Shh. Why not? You did.

Shoot. That's a bummer. Oh, my God, dude.

Shotgun! I don't think so.

Shotgun! Shotgun, and that was a tie.

Show me your titties! [sad music]

Shut the [bleep] up, and you shut the [bleep] up.

Shut the [bleep] up!

Shut the hell up! Okay?

Shut the hell up. I know what I'm doing.

Shut up, Cushing. I just asked that question.

Shut up, you twit. Okay.

Shut up. I smell it.

Shut up. Let's go. This way.

Shut up. Someone's coming. Someone's coming.

Shwha? Hmm?

Sick! All right! Awesome.

Sick. B Rad.

Sick. Cool.

Sick. Okay, now do me. Do me.

Sick. Thanks.

Sick. Great job. All right.

Sir, I'm afraid that's the best offer I can get you.

Sit down, and don't move.

Sit! Relax.

Six, borderline seven.

Smoke 'em, big chief.

So do you want us to get on the phones now or...?

So got no ride, and now we've got no money.

So have you ever worked with dinosaur costumes before?

So here okay, all in for me too.

So here's the big surprise.

So here's what we're gonna do.

So how many girls you been with?

So I sent her a picture of my dick,

So I should've left when Ders left, actually, so...

So it's a steal after all.

So it's only $13.99? Is that right?

So last night, I was drunk.

So not what I said. No.

So now go jump on LinkedIn.

So shake a da wee wee off a da pee pee

So this is the angle, right?

So this is what the world's coming to.

So this year, I think I'm just gonna freestyle it.

So we don't have it, your money,

So we won't crank down? Yeah.

So we're selling these now?

So you could've lost everything.

So you didn't even need to tell that stupid story.

So you go that route. I think I'm gonna class it up,

So you left my selfie stick in there with my phone,

So you ready to leverage your brand outside of your core demo?

So you want to do the article about me?

So you're telling us we are allowed to call women

So, basically, one of everything?

So, sadly, I will have to call out of work today

So, uh, I actually found something interesting.

So... It's backing away, your car.

Some new new age stuff. Yeah.

Somebody call for a superhero squad?

Son, do you even know who Tomlin is?

Sorry about that, man. I hope it didn't cost too much.

Sorry about that. All right.

Sorry to crash the party,

Sorry, can't help you with that one, bud,

Sorry. My email's down.

Sound off! Alpha dogs, baby!

Spend up, guys. Adam, don't.

Stand up! Cover yourselves!

Stay fleeking.

Stay in the slot, baby.

Still funny.

Stop fighting!

Stop the watch? Yeah, what was the time?

Stop touching my breast. Vamonos. Mami's hungry.

Stop, guys. Next trick. Carl, get in the box.

Stop! Obviously.

Stop. You beta bitch, beta bitch.

Stop. You beta bitch, beta bitch.

Stop. I've made my decision.

Stop. Ready?

Stop. Will you Ooh, get me there.

Suck it, Dad!

Suck it, Dad. Sorry, not sorry.

Suck somebody's [bleep]?

Sugar free vanilla creamer, also for

Superglue for a super bitch.

Sure, Adam.

Sure, yeah.

Sure. No way.

Sure. That's cool.

Sure. Yeah.

Sure. Yeah. Yeah.

Surprise kiss! Aah!

Surprise kiss.

TAC Van Nuys, baby.

Take it out, take it out, take it out.

Take off your sunglasses and hat.

Tell this evil museum to frickin' "suck it."

Tell us.

Terrible. Really, really bad fish.

Tez is on fleek.

Thank you so much, Mel, and I'll see you next quarter.

Thank you, Alice. You're welcome.

Thank you, honorable Judge "Browntown."

Thank you, Judge "Browntown."

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you. All is forgiven.

Thank you. Okay.

Thank you. You're welcome.

Thank you. Boom and hello. Mwah.

Thanks for watching.

Thanks for your time. Excuse me.

Thanks, Alice.

Thanks, Blake. Right?

Thanks, everyone.

Thanks, man. I want to pitch it to the

Thanks, though, seriously. Yeah. Thanks a lot.

Thanks...Daddy o.

That yeah. Sorry. Cool.

That cannot be true.

That is a ventriloquist dummy

That is awesome.

That is hella good angle,

That is weird,

That makes sense.

That means we might never get to party with Pauly Shore

That right there is why I [bleep] love you guys!

That was a little bit ago.

That was a woman. She naked?

That was amazing. Whoo!

That was an awesome leadership move.

That was funny. This, I hate.

That was incredible! Put them on vibrate, please.

That was my wife's obituary.

That was some freaky deaky biz nass

That was too early. You gotta

That was you. You just did it.

That works too. Yeah, yeah.

That's that's not what happened.

That's awesome! I'm not buying it.

That's awesome.

That's awesome. Hi.

That's bad. Yeah, it's really, really bad.

That's cool, that's cool. Okay.

That's cool, though. Okay.

That's cool. What's he

That's exactly what I said.

That's how high I wanna be.

That's insane, Bill.

That's it! Okay.

That's it. I'm out of here.

That's just Kick Ass. No.

That's kind of what we're talking about.

That's like a really cool

That's like the weed name? Like a

That's me. What? No.

That's mine! I caught one.

That's my band. Here's my solo.

That's my girl.

That's my point. You're never here.

That's not Gatorade... anymore.

That's not how cats work, but yes.

That's not us, right? Dude.

That's okay. Yeah.

That's okay. Let me see.

That's really cool. That's awesome.

That's ridiculous.

That's right shut up and stand stand back

That's right, ladies, huh?

That's right.

That's right. Consider it done.

That's right. That is right.

That's right. Now, it's just

That's sick. I miss that guy.

That's smart. Lake Havasu?

That's surprising. That's yeah.

That's the look.

That's the plan, yes. I don't think so.

That's very cute. Yeah, thank you.

That's weird. The good old days.

That's what I thought.

That's what I'm talking about.

That's what the world's coming to.

That's what we're gonna do. All right, save the day!

That's where you're wrong.

That's why I love you, man. Great.

That's why they're called followers.

The bed is, like Stop it now!

The future leaders in feminine retail.

The legendary creature

The mother[bleep] Dough Jo.

The New Class. Sick.

The problem is is that the van is going to be here

The real question here

The vagina, it forms So lesbians

The wad is blown, the wad is blown.

Then I bust out a bunch of hilarious tweets,

Then I pull out her little can of cat food,

Then, who called in the bomb threat?

There are a couple of, uh, minor details

There is no way you wiped your butt.

There she is. Old fashioned stomach pump.

There's gotta be, like, a side door

There's literally no other possibility.

There's my boys,

There's my girl. Dude.

There's no kids here, is there?

There's no kids here.

There's no sides, guys.

There's one from Anders's birthday! Okay?

There's only two chairs.

There's the deed to the old crib, huh?

There's the door. Yeah, you want some of this?

There's the door. Yeah! Get out of here!

There's the guy! Oh!

These are my best pants.

These ass wipes owe us 5 grand.

These women have to be stopped, all right?

They actually they don't have the muscles inside

They are they got food poisoning.

They call me Trilly Zane.

They're actually really, really not.

They're my shoes. Smack cam!

They're probably gonna be warmed up from my aggressive

They've got the tape. Act like we didn't do it.

This could've been you, Didi.

This guy has blade legs?

This is a cool way to see Brazil.

This is getting a little crazy, right?

This is not right. Please put your pants back on.

This is ridiculous, okay?

This is ridiculous! I'm sorry, you guys.

This is the address that he gave me for the party.

This is The Sleeve Cleaver. [gasps]

This is unacceptable on every level.

This is way, way Less than Jake.

This is who you surround my kitty with?

This is Zippo. He's, like, a meth kingpin.

This isn't you're not helping!

This isn't makeup or a wig.

This just seems so natural, right?

This makes us even, JP.

This ought to be real good.

This took balls, heaps of them.

This way. Ah!

This...

Three Caucasian men.

Tickle.

To Dan Yella. Mr. Dan Yella.

To Pauly. To Pauly.

To Pauly. [laughter]

Too aggressive?

Totally.

Totally.

Totes McGoats, man.

Trilly's Trilly's the best.

Two views. Yeah.

Ugh! Oh, you were lucky I'm in a hurry, Waymond,

Ugh! Ow!

Uh huh.

Uh huh. It is true. No, no, no.

Uh oh. Oh!

Uh oh. What?

Uh, guys, we don't have a student discount,

Uh, I just got here in my own car,

Uh, I will take...

Uh, my man,

Uh, no.

Uh, not anymore.

Uh, okay, sell you what?

Uh, the thing about that is I'd rather have balls

Uh, we should go.

Uh, well, sir, one day I hope to be city councilman.

Uh, yeah uh, really fast.

Uh, yeah, actually, you know what?

Uh, yeah, no, I didn't have to wipe,

Uh, yeah, we're your guys. Yeah, we can do that.

Uh, yeah. Eggs are tough.

Uh, yes, I did. Found it! Yup.

Uh...

Uh...

Uh... Me in a photo with these guys?

Uh... Okay, she's gone. She's gone.

Uh...yeah, yeah, yeah.

Uh...yeah. Kind of. Thanks.

Um, but actually, it's Friday,

Um, hey, uh... Hey.

Um, Phyllis Wilson, you said?

Um, we did.

Unkie Adam, Unkie Ders. I like that.

Unless you want to be fired.

Using a picture of you from high school,

Van Nuys!

Very cool. Yeah, no doubt. No doubt.

Very disgusting. We don't want to do that.

Very good, Adam.

Very smart. Very cool.

VIPs. VIPs.

Vlasic.

Wait a second.

Wait, are you boinking Bill?

Wait, knew what? Duh.

Wait, no, no, guys, just,

Wait, no, no, hang on, hang on.

Wait, so McBreath isn't even, like,

Wait, so she was dead?

Wait, there's an exit.

Wait, what are you doing?

Wait. Are you, like, a real doctor?

Wait. We get our own offices?

Was that a poop joke?

Watch how it's done. We haven't been able to.

Watch out.

Watch the teeth, buster.

Watch this. What's gonna happen?

Way less talent.

Way to go, Blake, once again.

We are all kinds of animals, me and you.

We are gonna go out though, right?

We are the @3BestFrandz. 3BestFrandz.

We can cover the other half with IOUs and prizes.

We can head him off if we just go down this alley right here.

We can't have a party with no bud and no moola.

We did it. Yeah, I think we can

We do, but 5 grand, we can't pay that.

We don't have that kind of money.

We don't have that.

We family up in here! Hell yeah!

We finally get to talk titties at work.

We get to try on the suits. Okay, that's cool.

We gonna [bleep] all the [bleep]. We just do it.

We got bowls. We got blunts.

We got to do something this weekend,

We got to get it out of there before she busts us.

We haven't even started, Jillian.

We heard the whole conversation

We just need to find the weakness in the cage.

We just stopped by to check things out,

We met on the internet,

We need to trap this guy who stole our package

We shall celebrate our our bountiful harvest

We should've just came right here, you idiot.

We squashed the beef! Squashed! Squashed!

We want, like, a epic chill.

We're going to Havasu, baby! Birdwatching!

We're gonna be okay. We're gonna be okay.

We're gonna do... We're doing that?

We're gonna go skydiving! What?

We're gonna lose many more.

We're having so much fun.

We're in a bit of a pickle, and we need your help.

We're just horny, horny titty boys.

We're the frickin' heisters, dude.

We've always wanted to do that.

We've got something to tell you guys.

Welcome to my house.

Welcome to our house. Come on inside.

Welcome, my name's Tim,

Well, 'cause he's also a cat. Sure.

Well, actually, I was going to let this be a surprise,

Well, after scouring the Internet,

Well, as an alpha dog myself,

Well, but I'm a Blaker Girl, and I'm an Adam Madam.

Well, everyone, I would love to be able to fire Adam

Well, good luck, guys. Yeah, thanks.

Well, guys, I don't have time for this buffoonery

Well, hi.

Well, I don't even drink coffee.

Well, I guess someone leaked a pic of your birth certificate

Well, I just figured out what we're about to heist.

Well, I like cheeseburgers.

Well, I mean everybody knows that at that altitude,

Well, I think you're gonna be pleasantly surprised

Well, I'm glad to hear that, son.

Well, I'm glad you got something out of it,

Well, I'm just saying

Well, I'm not gonna give up on 4/20.

Well, if you guys start working the phones

Well, it was a little scary,

Well, it's been amazing not having you here.

Well, it's our three favorite morning beverages.

Well, me first 'cause I got bit first, so...

Well, my love's name is Erin Mantini.

Well, now that I have you here,

Well, that was a disaster.

Well, that's cool sunglasses inside?

Well, the bitch knows we're here to help, right?

Well, there's a war on drugs out there,

Well, they don't call me Dr. Heals good for no reason.

Well, Waymond painted that for you guys.

Well, we had fun...

Well, we would like to perform a scene from his play,

Well, we'd love to have you back here,

Well, well, well...

Well, whoever it is, they better fess up right now

Well, write this down.

Well, yes, but when dealing with a sensitive subject

Well, you heard him. It's over.

Well, you know what I'd do?

Well, you know what they say:

Well, you should feel bad about it.

Wh wh what are you doing?

Wha Well, can we at least talk to him?

What a bitch.

What about Chastity?

What are those?

What are you oh.

What are you doing? I'm taking the stuff down.

What are you doing? Nah, I just I fold.

What are you doing? Oh, God!

What are you doing? Don't

What are you doing? These are classics.

What are you doing? This cat is problems.

What are you guys doing up there?

What are you talking about?

What did you just say?

What do you mean? Right here.

What do you want to do with your life, son?

What does that mean, business wise?

What else you want me to warm up?

What I need is for you to go back there

What is happening right now?

What is it? Okay.

What is that?

What is wrong with you?

What needs sucking? Uh...

What the [bleep] kind of Chili's is this?

What the frick, man?

What the hell are you guys doing in here?

What the hell is this, man?

What the hell is wrong with him?

What the hell was I saying?

What the hell? Who did this? Yeah, who did this?

What up? That's how many that I've

What we should do, really,

What you working with, girl? [line clicks, dial tone]

What, are you kidding me? The '90s were awesome.

What, bitch? You gonna stand there and stare

What, Didi? Yeah.

What, you quit?

What?

What?

What?

What?

What?

What?

What? [bleep].

What? [laughing] Oh!

What? Cocaine, you name it.

What? Come on.

What? I smell it. I smell it.

What? Oh, so you sabotaged him too.

What? Really?

What? Really.

What? What are you talking about?

What? What if we make a pact to,

What? Yeah, from my list of leads.

What? Yeah.

What? About what? I don't know, Anders!

What? Dan.

What? I'm here to join a group called Beat Ass.

What? It's an old fashioned duel.

What? No, don't do that.

What? No, dude, this is wine wine aerator, right?

What? Oh, hi.

What? Oh, sorry, dudes.

What? Okay, no recasting.

What? What alley? There's no alley.

What? What now?

What? What?

What'd you do?

What'd you do? Ah, I just shot it!

What'd you do? Yeah.

What's going on here?

What's going on here? Is he assaulting you?

What's going on?

What's going on?

What's going on? Where's the package?

What's gonna happen?

What's happening? Guess what? Success!

What's that big, dumb, stupid thing?

What's that supposed to mean?

What's the package?

What's up, brothers? Mm.

What's up? No.

What's with you and turds?

Whatever. Yeah, I close.

Whatever. Ders, first up.

Whatever. Don't care.

When do we get to go to the butthole?

When I pop this balloon with my sling shoot,

When was the last time

When we get home, I call dibs on watching it first.

When you guys are done finger banging that kiwi,

Where where are we going, Ders?

Where are they?

Where are they? They're right there.

Where? EBay. Yeah.

Where's my coconut water?

Where's my selfie stick?

Where's Sigourney?

Where's the free cocaine from the flyer?

Which he definitely will, Blake.

Who are you boyfriending?

Who cares!

Who did that? What was that?

Who in the [bleep] are you?

Who in the [bleep] are you?

Who? [gasps] Ders. Yeah.

Who's bigger?

Who's Chester?

Who's in here?

Who's that? He was lying to me.

Who's the coolest? [choking]

Who's the coolest? Who's the coolest?

Who's to say what's real?

Whoa, did you time out that ding?

Whoa, dude, huge wasps' nest.

Whoa, dude! Whoo!

Whoa, heads up. Coffee's for closers.

Whoa, I love what you've done with the place.

Whoa, nice shot, sista.

Whoa, what the hell are y'all doing here?

Whoa, whoa. JP! JP!

Whoa, whoa. You hear that? [distant slurping]

Whoa! [laughing]

Whoa! all: Oh!

Whoa.

Whoa.

Whoa. Ew!

Whoa. Oh! Oh! Oh, God!

Whoa. Buy me dinner first!

Whoa. What the hell is that?

Whoo, we talking Klout? 'Cause I got Klout like a mug.

Whoo!

Whoo!

Whoo!

Whoo!

Whoo! Okay. All right.

Whoo! Please!

Whoo! Whoo!

Whoo! Yeah, that's right, man.

Whoo! [laughs]

Whoo! Aaah!

Whoo! I needed that scrub down.

Whoo! Let's go, okay!

Whoo! Whoo!

Whoo! Yeah, recovery!

Whoops.

Whoopsy daisy. Could you get it for me, Blake?

Whore's bath. What are you doing?

Why am I so ugly, Lord?

Why are you crying? That's such a weak emotion.

Why are you guys mailing stuff to each other?

Why did you do that?

Why do we have to do this again?

Why does it itch? Is it bleeding?

Why don't you guys get nuts,

Why would you do that?

Why would you want to destroy something so beautiful?

Why? What are you doing? Here, fight me real quick.

Will you guys just stop beefing?

Will you guys please come out?

With an A. Hashtag.

With like a very huge, long wiener.

With my best friend, Chester,

Work, like what?

Working up a sweat.

Worst nine weeks of my entire life.

Would've seen a lot of them in Havasu.

Wow, look at this.

Wow, Mr. Buckley, hey. Can I help you?

Wow, weird. "Free cocaine"? It does say that.

Wow. I love "Stuff" magazine.

Wow. Mm hmm.

Wow. That is really, really horrible.

Y'all forgot something. The birds.

Yeah no.

Yeah, 'cause I'm the closer, good call. Here you go.

Yeah, actually, we kind of Indiana Jonesed that

Yeah, all right! All right!

Yeah, and also, no offense, you're really bad at it.

Yeah, and not because it was a total pussy magnet,

Yeah, and that is why we're so called "losers,"

Yeah, and we've decided that this is officially

Yeah, and you are tuned into our YouTube page.

Yeah, because the boss there is a true leader, unlike you.

Yeah, but he also loved sales.

Yeah, but he died in a pool.

Yeah, but I called Didi. No

Yeah, but you guys are the @The3BestFrandz.

Yeah, can you can you not squeeze

Yeah, Deedee.

Yeah, Ders, who are these guys?

Yeah, don't forget to wipe your

Yeah, duly noted. Truly noted, even.

Yeah, everybody shut up,

Yeah, exactly.

Yeah, get it, boy. Okay, stop. Stop.

Yeah, he cheated by using all of his lard.

Yeah, he just told you I was a cop, but I'm not, okay?

Yeah, I did background work on a couple other movies,

Yeah, I did. In fact, it was wildly private.

Yeah, I don't think so, man. I didn't vote.

Yeah, I have three intruders

Yeah, I know, I

Yeah, I know.

Yeah, I know. I know. You grabbed it.

Yeah, I mean they're good.

Yeah, I mean, 9/11. Love it, but Ty Dolla $ign...

Yeah, I mean, we're in.

Yeah, I think so.

Yeah, I want to see that. See what you got.

Yeah, I, like, almost cared for two seconds.

Yeah, I'll do that, yeah. You got his number!

Yeah, I'm gonna go undercover

Yeah, I'm gonna pass on grass tonight.

Yeah, I'm just saying, all you've ever done is weed

Yeah, I'm just trying to massage

Yeah, I'm with you, man.

Yeah, I'm with Zippo on that one.

Yeah, I've heard that. I get that, yeah.

Yeah, in fact, we have a new leader now

Yeah, it it really doesn't matter at this point, man.

Yeah, it's kind of crazy.

Yeah, just a little bit. Yeah.

Yeah, just chill out, Ders.

Yeah, listen, Adam,

Yeah, listen. Just a heads up.

Yeah, man, 24 weeks since we've kissed girls,

Yeah, man, we're selling these people.

Yeah, Marcia's next.

Yeah, maybe I could go

Yeah, mm hmm. Okay.

Yeah, my bad. All right.

Yeah, my flock doesn't like to cut corners,

Yeah, no, it's gargling. No, we have to save her.

Yeah, no, that's what we're doing. [inaudible].

Yeah, oh, of course I know.

Yeah, okay, can I call Marcia? Is that cool?

Yeah, okay.

Yeah, okay. That sounds like a good

Yeah, open it please. Go, please.

Yeah, probably. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, put them on vibrate. This is a presentation.

Yeah, right. Yeah.

Yeah, she's a lizard. She used to be.

Yeah, she's right here in a skirt.

Yeah, so I was just thinking, maybe at lunch

Yeah, so, you know, we didn't wake her up.

Yeah, some real manly male fire men.

Yeah, sure.

Yeah, technically you're supposed to have

Yeah, terrible. And a lot of my family members

Yeah, that is. That's huge.

Yeah, that'd be great.

Yeah, that'll work.

Yeah, that's a lot, you know.

Yeah, that's my bad. Jesus.

Yeah, that's really freaking cool.

Yeah, that's right, Blake, you didn't think.

Yeah, the uh, yeah, I guess, sure.

Yeah, the wasps itch, so take care.

Yeah, these are things that I know, because I'm in charge.

Yeah, they're definitely not a classy crowd.

Yeah, totally. Totally, man. So what's the deal?

Yeah, um, again, serious injury.

Yeah, we did it!

Yeah, we do. Yeah.

Yeah, we don't have to do that.

Yeah, we don't have to.

Yeah, we have the flash drive.

Yeah, we're very non strange.

Yeah, well, I lost, like, 70 pounds,

Yeah, well, right now you're acting like a number two.

Yeah, well, you know, you heard what JP said.

Yeah, whoo! Pick it all up.

Yeah, why you so nervous?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, so That is a challenge.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, yeah. Also, I realized

Yeah, yeah. This is a good role.

Yeah, yeah. Why did it have to be mine?

Yeah, yeah. I think I've read about that.

Yeah, yeah. You're you're real.

Yeah, you are roping in some good ones, huh?

Yeah, you can just put that down anywhere, Adam.

Yeah, you cry? [laughter]

Yeah, you freaking wish, Saul,

Yeah, you mean like your parents just did

Yeah, you're pretty cool.

Yeah!

Yeah!

Yeah! Alice!

Yeah! All right. Look, my name.

Yeah! Nice.

Yeah! Yes, I wrote it, yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah. All right, wait.

Yeah. Are you sore?

Yeah. Come on.

Yeah. DeMamps.

Yeah. Don't be stupid.

Yeah. Duh.

Yeah. Hold that.

Yeah. I don't know.

Yeah. I love my job.

Yeah. I'm gonna beat your ass!

Yeah. Is it

Yeah. Is it still bent?

Yeah. No. Really, it's okay.

Yeah. Now?

Yeah. Okay.

Yeah. Remember how last year,

Yeah. See that? It was in quotes.

Yeah. Sell, sell, sell.

Yeah. This is kind of a poor plan.

Yeah. Uh huh, yeah.

Yeah. We're not calling you a bitch.

Yeah. What is my age again?

Yeah. What the what's going on?

Yeah. Who cares?

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, on that note,

Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yes! Alice freaking rocks.

Yeah. Get on over here, dude.

Yeah. Here we go. Save the day.

Yeah. Hey, you know what?

Yeah. Hold up, though. Check your phones.

Yeah. I know.

Yeah. I'm a cyberterrorist.

Yeah. I'm already walking away.

Yeah. I'm not a brand.

Yeah. I'm sick of pretending to be a brand for likes.

Yeah. In, but down.

Yeah. It's Kick Ass, basically.

Yeah. Let's get out of here.

Yeah. Now, that's what I call moola.

Yeah. Right on.

Yeah. That's fine.

Yeah. That's probably what it is.

Yeah. They're really bad. Yeah.

Yeah. We did do that. Okay.

Yeah. We should do it.

Yeah. What are you sitting in? I'm not mad at it.

Yeah. What, you think that's how you finger a girl?

Yeah. Yeah, no.

Yeah. Yeah, thanks.

Yeah. You know, maybe we will.

Yep. But other than that...

Yep. I always thought that.

Yep. No, no. Not now.

Yep. Yeah.

Yes oh! No! So get in there

Yes, a griffin. Yeah.

Yes, and I will definitely be right there, boss.

Yes, and I would like the steak fajitas.

Yes, and then of course once acting was taken away from me,

Yes, I am, honey. I was just telling them how

Yes, I did.

Yes, I did.

Yes, it is, son.

Yes, she was. Sick.

Yes, sir, but it was an honor

Yes, they should also have very expressive eyes

Yes, um, what size are your breasts?

Yes, welcome to our presentation of...

Yes, yes, yes. Yes!

Yes, yes. Ders Day has been epic.

Yes, you can.

Yes, you did, and I smoked the big beef pipe in his pants,

Yes, you do. No, I don't.

Yes, you should. Great. Awesome.

Yes, you will.

Yes, you're a timber sports fan,

Yes! [bleep], yes!

Yes! Dudes!

Yes! Okay!

Yes! Thank you!

Yes! Yeah!

Yes! Boom.

Yes! What a hand.

Yes! Whoo! [bleep], yes.

Yes! Yes!

Yes.

Yes. Great.

Yes. Oh.

Yes. Yeah, we are.

Yes. Yeah!

Yes. Yes, we would.

Yes. Disappear like your fathers.

Yes. We hear you.

Yes. Yes! Yeah. Heck, yeah.

Yo, Chill Sergeant DeMamp!

Yo, Tez, my good friend.

Yo, what up?

Yo, yo, yo.

Yo! X Games!

Yoga people drink it, so and I'm one of them.

You are inviting us, though, right?

You better hope there's a Chili's To Go in here.

You can leave now. All right, sorry.

You can thank Adam for that

You can't be mad at this. No.

You can't block a door. It's a fire hazard.

You can't go talk to her, 'cause if you do,

You can't stand for that bull[bleep]!

You did great. You were good.

You did this.

You didn't actually let me finish.

You didn't even plug it in? No, it wasn't plugged in.

You didn't even say it. Yes, I did. [bleep].

You do?

You do. Yeah, we just covered this.

You don't have to fold, dude. Just say "check."

You don't have to tell me.

You don't have to. Ow!

You don't like museums? No one likes museums!

You ever blow a hole in the dumpster?

You get back, Blake! Whoa!

You get in the box. Don't do that!

You got issues. Oh, my God.

You got it.

You got ten minutes till judgment day.

You got three kids. I say you buy three.

You got to quit faking the funk, bro,

You guys are dope. You are.

You guys are gonna find out what's going on.

You guys are just, I'd say, about eight minutes away

You guys want you want to see it?

You guys want a hit off my Strawberry Latte Bull?

You have a real tattoo?

You have a small dick, and you carry bobby pins.

You just listen, Cushing.

You just occasionally smoke weed.

You just scared the fart out of me.

You kidding me? Not good enough!

You knew that JP was gonna ask us to take your flash drive?

You know how it is.

You know what, screw that guy.

You know what?

You know what? Fine. I will think about it.

You know what? Forget about that cat, okay?

You know what? Just get out, okay?

You know what? On second thought,

You know what? That is it!

You know, I and that's where I disagree with you, Anders.

You know, I believe in myself, and that's what it takes

You know, I don't like that we still do that.

You know, I play poker at this underground card game

You know, I want to do you a favor.

You know, I'm just going to turn it off for a second.

You know, it's been three months

You know, just do what feels right.

You know, maybe you could stick around

You know, not my porno. Mm mm.

You know, we could've been on our way to Crank Down Town,

You look a little different than that picture you sent me.

You look like Greta the gremlin,

You look like Greta, yeah.

You look like human banana pudding.

You look like the female gremlin.

You mother ah!

You pick one of us! Gosh damn it, boys!

You ready to get rocked?

You really like it better over there?

You really think so? both: Yeah.

You remember me, Erin. Um, okay.

You remembered the day?

You see, we don't really like cops

You should've seen the other girl.

You sit down and don't make me use 'em!

You suck my [bleep], and you get the balls, okay?

You tell me. Uh, then check it.

You the bitch!

You think I'm a celeb?

You think I'm a cop?

You think? Yeah, it's a museum.

You two, let's go.

You used to look horrible. Yeah.

You want to get nuts? Yeah!

You want to know why we're okay?

You want to name us The Woodsmen,

You want us to give you weed for free, right?

You went to private school?

You were doing some BS speech about safety or something.

You were married to Alice?

You will never see her again, Blake.

You wish.

You won't win 'cause I'm

You, me, mano e mano, one on one.

You'll also find new suits as well as the hair gel

You're 27 units short of expectations.

You're acting a little weird. I'm not being weird.

You're banging Cushing too? Oh, my gosh.

You're dope. [laughter]

You're fired.

You're freaking me the freak out right now, okay?

You're gonna have to ask us to leave?

You're joking, right?

You're lucky we even showed up

You're married? Okay.

You're nasty. [laughs]

You're not gonna be laughing when the Gnargoyle swoops down

You're not mad? No. I'm actually relieved.

You're not on our team, you bitch.

You're pretty good at that.

You're talking about the place where basically

You're talking to dumpsters.

You're welcome. I'm here to help.

You're working a little hard. Yeah, you're complex, dude.

You're worried about Alice? She's obsessed with me.

You've got one week

You've never had anyone die here before, right?

Your attention, please. I'm sorry, but since the museum

Your dad didn't beat me up.

Your loss.

Your shirt says "eat ass."

Your words make no sense to me, noble Indian.

Yup.

Yup. "Real World: Seattle."

Yup. Ready. All right.

Zip Zippo? You say Zippo?

Zippo Tomlin?

Zippo. Who in the [bleep] are you?

'cause guess what.

'cause he was in an apartment, and then he went to Brazil.

'Cause I got the name of the biggest drug dealer in Rancho.

'Cause I heard like,

'cause I want to get some good seats.

'Cause I was just about to show her my final trick.

'cause I work at a goddamned dead end job!

'cause I'm addicted to sales right now.

'Cause I'm gonna be the one at the back of the bus

'cause I'm scrounging up money to buy meth.

'cause it really hurt my feelings no one asked me,

'cause it's a dumb idea, right, Ders?

'cause men are invaluable,

'cause my muscles are on fire from all this sling shooting.

'cause she can't talk to us like that.

'Cause that lotion is not where I left it last.

'Cause that's what you're drinking.

'cause the men are about to s save the day.

'cause there's some Blake Chesterfield Hender nachos

'Cause this is my day!

'Cause we do your job now, right?

'cause we heisted this peace pipe.

'cause we're a busy crew.

'Cause you don't stand a chance, all right?

'Cause you should be sore.

'cause you're probably gonna get killed by lasers or something.

'cause you've been studying magic for your shows,

'Cause, uh, it looks like someone took the junk

'em out and say, "You're hot." Smooch 'em.

"Acting like a bitch." I did say "acting."

"Attention Whore: The Adam DeMamp Story"

"I don't give a [bleep] and see who means this," so scream it.

"I wish I was still high."

"Is this guy Alice Murphy assistant material?"

"McBreath."

"Office Safety: It's Very Important and We Get That."

"Oh. Oh, sorry. You're a girl.

"Star Spangled Banner."

"Superbad" the movie bad about it.

"The Nutting Professor."

"There's been a tsunami in China, and all the panda bears

"This bitch probably ain't real" red flags pop up in your head?

"This man needs to go away, like, forever."

"We're going to rob this museum" on it?

"what are you, a widowed dentist

"What's My Age Again?"

["Jockbox" by The Skinny Boys]

["Jockbox" by The Skinny Boys]

[Adam and Black laugh]

[Adam laughing]

[Adam sniffing]

[Adam whimpering]

[all chanting] Alice! Alice! Alice!

[all cheering]

[all cheering]

[all cheering]

[all cheering]

[all cheering] [bleep], yes!

[all cheering] Cool!

[all cheering] Whoa!

[all exclaiming]

[all gasp] No, I didn't! I didn't!

[all groan] What? Is he serious, dude?

[all laugh]

[all laughing]

[all screaming]

[all shouting]

[all shouting] I won! Yeah! We won! We won!

[all speaking at once]

[all speaking at once] It's the tape.

[all speaking at once] Okay.

[all yelling]

[all yelling]

[all yelling]

[ambulance beeping] Yeah. Yeah, right, Ders.

[ambulance sirens wailing]

[as Angela] Excuse me, pardon me.

[awkward laugh]

[baby talking as Adam] Why people no love me?

[bangs] What are you do stop.

[bangs] Whoa.

[beatboxing poorly]

[beatboxing poorly] Party, Daddy.

[beatboxing]

[beatboxing]

[beatboxing]

[beatboxing]

[beatboxing]

[beatboxing]

[bell dings on cell phone] Whoa.

[bird screeches] Oh, sh

[Blake sighs]

[bleep] Hey!

[bleep] sucked in here, unless the Big Z,

[bleep], go get high!

[blows raspberry]

[boing]

[bones snap] [all scream]

[both applauding]

[both barking]

[both beatboxing poorly]

[both grunting]

[both laugh]

[both laughing]

[both scream]

[both screaming]

[both shrieking and snarling]

[both yelling]

[both yelling]

[bottle spraying]

[bottle spraying] Just

[breathing heavily]

[buttons pop]

[buzzing] Whoa.

[camera beeps] Erik the Red's helmet.

[cat growls] Ow, ow, ow!

[cat meows softly] I know, honey.

[cat meows]

[cat meows] She's awake now. Denny's!

[cat meows] That's right.

[cat retches] Whoa!

[cell phone chimes]

[cell phone chimes]

[cell phone chimes] I didn't get it yet.

[cell phone dings] All right, look at the camera.

[cell phone dings] Yep.

[cell phones chime]

[cheers and applause]

[cheers and applause]

[chill music]

[chill music]

[chuckles]

[chuckles] Yeah.

[chuckles] I cramped up there.

[chuckles] It sucks, but not anymore.

[chuckles] Jokes.

[classical music]

[clattering]

[clears throat]

[clears throat] We weren't, uh...

[continues beatboxing poorly]

[continues clapping]

[coughs]

[crowd gasps]

[crying]

[crying]

[Ders and Adam coughing]

[dial tone]

[DJ Snake and Lil Jon's "Turn Down for What"]

[dogs barking] No. I didn't for anything.

[door slams]

[dramatic music]

[dramatic music]

[dramatic music]

[dramatic music]

[dramatic music]

[dramatic music]

[dramatic music] Yep.

[electronic music]

[exhales sharply through nose]

[falcon screeches]

[fire alarm bell ringing]

[foreboding music]

[gagging]

[gasps]

[gasps] Oh, my God.

[gasps] you discover America!

[gentle chimes playing]

[gentle chimes playing]

[giggles]

[groans] Ow, you spit your gum.

[grunts]

[gunshots]

[hawk screeches]

[hawk screeches] Oh!

[high pitched scream]

[hip hop music]

[hisses]

[horn blares] [gasps] Oh! Oh!

[ice clacking]

[imitates electronic music poorly]

[imitates record scratching]

[imitates rocket lift off]

[in British accent] What should we name you?

[indistinct chatter]

[inhales sharply] You can do this.

[intense techno music]

[jazzy band music playing]

[knocking]

[laughing]

[laughing] I have a son.

[laughs]

[laughs]

[laughs]

[laughs]

[laughs]

[laughs] That is funny.

[laughter and cat calling]

[laughter]

[laughter]

[laughter]

[laughter]

[laughter]

[laughter]

[laughter]

[laughter]

[laughter]

[laughter] Lower.

[laughter] No, no, no, he's right.

[laughter] Right?

[laughter] Was that funny?

[laughter] Wine:30.

[laughter] Lost another one!

[line trilling]

[lock clicks]

[loud flatulence] Whoa.

[loud moaning and groaning] Where are my parents?

[man snickers]

[meowing]

[mimics whooshing]

[moans]

[mouthing] Action.

[mouths silently]

[muffled voices from roof]

[mumbling indistinctly]

[muted conversation]

[normal voice] Do you have any cats? No.

[normal voice] How about Dumpster?

[ominous music]

[phone dialing]

[phone line trilling]

[phone ringing] What are you

[phone rings]

[plays upbeat bluegrass tune] Ooh!

[police siren blaring] Don't move, Zippo!

[quietly] Distract 'em. Distract 'em.

[rock music]

[rock music]

[rustling]

[screaming]

[screaming] I'm sorry!

[screams]

[screams]

[screams] Ooh, whoa!

[shoes clapping loudly] Okay. Ow, that was loud.

[sighs]

[sighs]

[sighs] I'm in love.

[sloshing]

[slurps]

[smacking]

[smoke alarm blares]

[sneezes]

[softly] whores... aren't crazy!

[somber music]

[somber music]

[soothing traditional Asian music playing]

[stammering]

[stammers, laughs]

[stifled laughter]

[strained] Hold on.

[suspenseful music]

[suspenseful music]

[suspenseful music]

[telephone ringing]

[television playing in background]

[The Skinny Boys' "Jock Box"]

[The Skinny Boys' "Jock Box"]

[The Skinny Boys' "Jock Box"]

[The Skinny Boys' "Jock Box"]

[The Skinny Boys' "Jock Box"]

[The Skinny Boys' "Jock Box"]

[The Skinny Boys' "Jock Box"]

[The Skinny Boys' "Jockbox"]

[The Skinny Boys' "Jockbox"]

[The Skinny Boys' "Jockbox"]

[The Skinny Boys' "Jockbox"]

[thudding] Dude! Hey!

[tires screech]

[tires screech]

[toilet flushes]

[tray clatters]

[upbeat music]

[upbeat music]

[urine splashing] [sighs]

[voice breaking] Oh, God.

[watch dings]

[water chugging]

[wheels squeaking] Huh?

[whispering] I'm gonna steal drugs!

[whispering] Know your place.

[with foreign accent] Howdy. How do you do?

[woman moaning]

[woman moaning]

[women cheer]

[women cheer]

[women cheering] Oh, my God!

[women gasp, cheer]

[women whimper] Yeah, I know.

[yelling]

[zips]

* Barbecue sauce

* But I'm black deep down

* Can I Stop. Stop. Stop.

* Chili's

* Come along and take a hit from the bong *

* Did you get a email, man?

* Don't get me wrong, it's not a new method *

* Gats be spraying, and I'm just saying *

* Gotta be fresh

* Gotta be fresh

* Gotta be fresh

* Gotta be fresh

* Gotta be fresh

* Gotta be fresh

* Gotta be fresh

* Gotta be fresh

* Gotta be fresh

* I love Yoshinoya bowls

* I'm cold and I am shamed *

* Illusion never changed

* Lying naked on the floor

* Put the blunt down just for a second *

* Sometimes I feel like I might even be brown *

* That's the hook to the song like blam *

* This is how I feel

* Turn down for what?

* You gotta, gotta

* You gotta, we gotta, you gotta *

* You gotta, we gotta, you gotta *

* You gotta, we gotta, you gotta *

* You gotta, we gotta, you gotta *

* You gotta, you gotta, you gotta *

* You gotta, you gotta, you gotta *

* You gotta, you gotta, you gotta *

* You gotta, you gotta, you gotta *

* You gotta, you gotta, you gotta *