Superstore - Season 2 Edit

A better hobby than this, you know?

A better shot at surviving a tornado,

A boring topic, unless...

A chain of events that could cause

A charge that probably doesn't read on camera.

A clownfish...

A couple of ground rules. No shop talk.

A couple of hiccups there at the beginning,

A couple times.

A dance break!

A disaster!

A few months ago, I found out that I'm actually undocumented.

A five year old in Crestwood

A flirty thing we were doing.

A giant surprise for you. Love, Garrett.

A global strategy to fold

A good old fashioned girlfriend gabfest.

A good old pair of American blue jeans pants.

A group of 'em's called a murder!

A hospital in Haiti. Well, bravo, it didn't work.

A journal. All right, what do we got here?

A large format printer.

A list of things that we think

A little bit better than when you found it.

A little piece of your magic lives inside

A long Jonah story. How about we put a pin in it

A lot of boobs.

A lot of firsts today.

A lot of good stuff in there this year.

A lot of inside jokes, aren't we?

A lot of Olympic gymnasts train their whole lives,

A lot of people died so you could vote.

A month ago, so you don't have to worry about it.

A Neuage Neuf classique, of course.

A new day has dawned.

A new windshield, and my mom's crisper drawer

A pack of tube socks back on March 29th,

A peacock.

A portrait of hopelessness.

A promotion with no raise. Well done.

A really good feeling.

A really long time.

A rogue pamphlet?

A sexual relationship with a subordinate.

A team? No.

A tiny spider once crawled into the entrance of my...

A toothbrush, and a banana.

A two year deferral.

A voyage of self discovery.

A VP of corporate?

A...

A... a... an impromptu safety meeting.

A... demonstration?

Aah, it's hot!

About 20.

About being the best in my class,

About his job, but, uh, I had a feeling about that guy.

About how someone who used to work here

About letting my moral priorities

About loving you forever.

About me dating Kristen,

About me to my coworkers?

About my need to be liked, and I realize

About not discussing abortion at work,

About the affair you've been having

About this relationship.

About this SuperCloud.

About this whole drug testing thing.

About two weeks ago.

About where she was yesterday?

About your dead dog all day?

About your level of anger.

Absolutely not.

Absolutely.

Absolutely. You have my word.

Act irrationally, you know, I mean..

Actually, I am dressed up. I'm you.

Actually, I am dressed up. I'm you.

Actually, I don't know how fast that is.

Actually, I got someone else to help.

Actually, I think that cockroach in the light is new.

Actually, I usually have a Danish with my coffee.

Actually, I'll just call those who aren't fired.

Actually, I'm kinda in a hurry.

Actually, I'm seeing a lot of

Actually, is it okay if I go to Finley's house instead?

Actually, no. I'm not sorry.

Actually, now that I think about it,

Actually, nowadays it's all

Actually, sorry to be a fly in the ointment,

Actually, the beans are from Rwanda,

Actually, they say you're not supposed to do that anymore.

Actually, yes.

Actually.

Adam just came to pick me up.

Adam to work here, given 'how things are

Adam, I was really looking forward to this weekend.

Adam, nobody's looking at us.

Adam, we should talk.

Adam!

Adam.

Adam's schedule just so that we're not on the same shifts.

Adam's sleeping in the basement.

Adam's taking Emma on a Girl Scouts camping trip,

Add gasoline to the fire, right?

Additional items found on the property

Adopt a dog today.

After careful consideration,

After pregnancy... it's gotta go somewhere, huh?

After talking to Ramona.

Again, sorry, Maureen. That's okay, T.J.

Again, you don't have to be here.

Agwe Urgellés were inspired by accounts of real life mermaids.

Ah, a little celebratory dinner tonight?

Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah!

Ah, Assistant Manager style.

Ah, buh, buh, buh, buh.

Ah, just doing what I do.

Ah, look, Glenn, you're still a people person.

Ah, so the new shift starts soon.

Ah, that sounded Scottish.

Ah, well, it's amazing how quickly

Ah, your tiny arms are perfect for cleaning.

Ah!

Ah!

Ah! What? Put that away, you psycho!

Ah.

Ah.

Ah.

Ah.

Ah.

Ah...

Ah... I guess I'd get my partner to confess on tape.

Ahh, there it is. My birds love these.

Ahh!

Ahh!

Ahh! Gun! Gun, gun, gun, gun, gun!

Ain't no way I'm getting hitched to my ride or die

Ain't nobody care about that.

Aisle seven. 30 days. Home and Garden.

Al, we've got a code periwinkle, we need to lock down access

Alcohol?

Alisha. I started last week.

All animals have sex!

All clear.

All clear.

All cramped up in Cheyenne's mom's basement with the baby.

All do to improve.

All I ever do now is babysit for free!

All it's gonna take is for this tower to fall over

All of it. Like it never happened.

All of us are heroes.

All of us are vulnerable.

All of us...

All of your morning after pills, please.

All ready for both of you to sign.

All right, all right, all right.

All right, all right, I'm getting up, you psycho.

All right, anyway... 12? Sorry about that.

All right, break room, ten minutes.

All right, break!

All right, bug man, room is yours.

All right, Dina...

All right, everybody, focus up.

All right, everybody, get ready.

All right, everybody. First on the agenda: free talk.

All right, everyone out.

All right, fine, okay? I took the fruit.

All right, great to see you.

All right, have a good night.

All right, hold on.

All right, I think you guys are all set.

All right, I want a minimum of five employees in each zone,

All right, I'm calling it.

All right, I'm in too. But I call both armrests.

All right, in order for this to work,

All right, it's been an exciting 17 days

All right, joke one...

All right, just dump that in the cart there.

All right, just give me a sec.

All right, ladies and gents.

All right, let's go release this little sweetheart.

All right, listen up!

All right, listen up.

All right, looks like I'm in.

All right, Marcus, alley oop me into the cooler, okay?

All right, meeting dismissed.

All right, never mind, these kids are duds.

All right, not a morning person.

All right, now I'm gonna give you one more,

All right, okay, I've got this!

All right, so you have a chance to give somebody

All right, thank you, Dina,

All right, there you have it.

All right, this is it.

All right, ticktock, come on.

All right, uh, moving on. Tornado safety...

All right, uh...

All right, we have been talking and...

All right, we're gonna be testing for everything, okay?

All right, we've lost half our staff.

All right, well, I mean, we talked about it.

All right, what's so funny? What, somebody fart?

All right, you know I got to see that.

All right!

All right!

All right? It's simple, beautiful, elegant...

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right. Husband picking up the wife.

All right. I'll catch you later, brother.

All right. Maybe Glenn's right.

All RMDs need to have the right CPOs.

All the best bodies in the world.

All the stuff that went on today.

All the things you did, Glenn Sturgis,

All the victims were sawed into

All these pictures of the store?

All those synthetic fabrics.

All those words, and you said absolutely nothing.

All you have to do is write it on the card,

All: ♪ Cry, Ezekiel, cry ♪

ALL: Yeah, don't be a Booge!

Allah?

Almost $900.

Almost there.

Alprazolam,

Already Facebook friends.

Already? They haven't even cut the cake.

Also you have a weak chin and you can't dance.

Also, a lot of horses died.

Also, don't tell a story about someone

Also, I don't really know what I'm doing yet.

Also, I have a tiny penis, and my wife hates my guts!

Also, I'm drunk.

Also, if anyone finds a green hair thingy, it's mine.

Also, no religion or politics. Too divisive.

Also, voting time is unpaid.

Also, you have the worst voice I've ever heard.

Also.

Although not such strong feelings

Although then Jerusha wouldn't be able

Although we did find weed, dip, porn, and a receipt

Although, at least their suffering is over, you know?

Always doing something with those hands.

Alyssa Jayne Milano was born in Bensonhurst, Brooklyn...

Am I scared?

Am I supposed to ask you what you're thinking about?

Amelia, you made this in preschool.

American citizen?

American coffee for these American heroes.

Ames! Did you see?

Amy "Doob anowski," who is the organizer of this protest.

Amy found $900.00! What should we all do with it?

Amy to Glenn's office, please.

Amy told me the truth.

Amy, can you just move Jonah?

Amy, come on!

Amy, could you change it?

Amy, I am so sorry.

Amy, I have an important question.

Amy, is that true?

Amy, it's so hard.

Amy, report to Glenn's office, please.

Amy, right?

Amy, this is him.

Amy, this is Naomi. She... we're...

Amy, uh, I need your key

Amy, uh, what's this about?

Amy, wanna see my baby?

Amy, you owe me one.

Amy! Oh, God, um... Oh, okay.

Amy?

Amy?

Amy.

Amy.

Amy's husband.

Amy's marriage is so bad...

Amy's real husband.

Amy's work husband.

An actual Olympic opening ceremony?

An actual Olympic opening ceremony?

An asshat? Well, that's hurtful.

An expression of discontentedness?

An in store Santa, so I am taking

An old pair of dentures, yes!

An old receipt, and, uh, here is your...

An unhappy customer out there who thinks that this place is,

And "what's up" with Elias's butt is he started cycling.

And a box of bullets, please.

And a box of bullets.

And a cannibal's just, like, a dude who eats people.

And a privilege to be able...

And after that, though, I was gonna hit the new Italian place.

And all they want is to be with you,

And already the, uh, beer tower display

And also, don't let her get wet.

And also, maybe the heat is causing, like, a number of us

And also, uh, Olympian Missy Jones

And anti flatulent meds.

And anybody who's willing

And apologies, Maureen... but like "A Hate Effing Thing"?

And as a matter of fact, between you and I,

And ask every single person,

And ask them to come in for a meeting?

And ate the meat off their bones.

And attends a luncheon with an all you can eat buffet.

And babies. I love babies.

And back when I took gymnastics,

And because he was your teacher.

And before you know it, you're getting bit in half

And beg him to come back.

And Bilbo Derek Thompson in holy matrimony,

And billions of innocent deaths.

And boasts a battery life of about 45 minutes.

And bootleg "Spider Man" DVDs.

And bootleg "Spider Man" DVDs.

And breathe through alternating nostrils, okay?

And bury that ballot box, and I mean bury it deep.

And buttons.

And changing it to "SuperCloud."

And Cheyenne is... Cheyenne's a yoga mat.

And Cody, who grows weed in the garden center...

And continue your slow march to death.

And cut myself out of this hot dog costume

And decisive.

And discuss ways that we can all improve.

And don't feed her after midnight.

And don't let those chubby cheeks fool you.

And don't you go falling in love with me.

And dope ass peonies.

And each name our favorite part of the penis?

And eating people, right?

And Emma's all upset and it's just... it's miserable.

And every single penny of that money is going to this girl.

And everybody carries a tiny little flag?

And fill your plate once, and that's all you get?

And for my final trick,

And funny,

And get it turned in to me with your Social Security card

And get on the register.

And goes around cheering up the kids.

And guess what?

And guess who became the next editor in chief.

And hand stuff is pretty much,

And Harmonica loves giraffes, so, uh, ooh!

And have a nice, normal day.

And have an affair or something?

And he asked, "Are you afraid?"

And he came over right away.

And he never will.

And he puts Haley Joel Osment on a bus,

And he said to me, "Sandra take out your taters."

And he said, "Good."

And he's good with people.

And Hillary's all...

And how are they different?

And how long ago did he leave us?

And hurting people's cashmere, so...

And I act like this every day, not just today.

And I am glad that you're an animal lover

And I am God.

And I am very, very hot.

And I call him Mr. Man.

And I can go home, which is a relief

And I can hear that anywhere.

And I destroyed the ballots 'cause I'm a big, stupid meanie!

And I did.

And I don't want anything to get in her way.

And I ended up in the hospital with dehydration for two days.

And I feel like we should just have

And I gotta respect that.

And I guess just all these people showed up to support us.

And I have a lot of questions.

And I have decided that you are my best friend in the store.

And I have layout experience.

And I have the whole weekend to myself.

And I I was trained by Wayne Gunderson.

And I just wanna know that if we are together

And I just wanted to see how you were you ing.

And I know exactly how many aspirin to take.

And I know I said I would take Emma camping, but...

And I know this sounds weird,

And I noticed there was something wrong

And I put them in his face

And I really want us to look professional.

And I remember what it was like

And I said some things about both of you

And I said, "Yes."

And I saw Jeff making out with... Sandra.

And I saw Jeff making out with... Sandra.

And I saw Jeff with... Mateo..

And I should have been more clear

And I support that decision, because it's your choice.

And I think I extended my box cutter too much.

And I thought about today.

And I usually hate being in teams.

And I want you to say the first thing that pops into your mind.

And I will be doing that.

And I will hose you.

And I worked towards it every day,

And I wouldn't want you to mess it up.

And I... I don't really get the whole basement thing...

And I'd like to give a permanent welcome

And I'd marry you if I could.

And I'll be standing right here,

And I'll keep on checking Jeff's Instagram.

And I'm a strong alpha.

And I'm about to make it rain savings!

And I'm barely getting through summer school.

And I'm clocking you in at three hours

And I'm Filipino. And everybody's everything.

And I'm gonna ask you a question,

And I'm gonna break the strike.

And I'm gonna eat and drink whatever I want.

And I'm gonna just slide it into the cage, okay?

And I'm gonna make those decisions fairly

And I'm like "Oh, yeah, right. Goofy face emoji."

And I'm not about to let a bunch of deal hungry rubes

And I'm still finishing up school,

And I'm the adult here,

And I'ma phone it in,

And I've already [Bleep] Garrett, so I guess him again.

And if I didn't turn the report in?

And if I have to keep everyone here all night to do it,

And if I may return the compliment,

And if we had, it would not be a teenage boy

And if you can, make it extra quick,

And if you don't like it, you can go kick a cow!

And if you need help wiping,

And it all feels like it's never gonna change.

And it could have, like, a cape or something,

And it doesn't appear that you've purchased anything.

And it is very elaborate and choreographed.

And it makes zero difference to you

And it shows you how many units we have in inventory.

And it was fancy.

And it will be cleaned up when they clean it up.

And it would be so dark and cool.

And it'll drive you crazy.

And it'll get weird, so...

And it's a wig.

And it's always easier to train a bitch

And it's being ruled over by Emperor Amy.

And it's Glenn, not Glem.

And it's gonna be at Dave and Buster's.

And it's gonna take at least three coats to cover this.

And it's kinda nice to be out here

And it's not "nothing," all right?

And it's not essential,

And Jeff is gonna get back together with his ex.

And just go find the thumb?

And just sell the whole stash to some rich moms.

And just since the veil of secrecy is off,

And just think of all the things that make life wonderful.

And just twist 'em up fast, okay?

And just walked out the store.

And Kelly will be like, "With pleasure, Bobby."

And kill Bo's mom.

And later, I get to go trick or treating with Emma, which is the best.

And let's move on with our lives.

And listen, if he masturbates to me on his lunch break,

And logging them in the T7?

And lunch and soccer and...

And make it come true.

And make love to my wife...

And make this rollout huge?

And makes some serious changes.

And meet me in the photo lab.

And Missouri's a swing state,

And mortgage and groceries for 13,

And movies.

And my brother cut it in half, but it wasn't personal.

And my guy's walking out the door.

And my mall family and...

And my nose is bleeding, and your nose is bleeding.

And my real family and my friend family

And Myrtle's not done yet.

And no lemon squares, or anything with oatmeal.

And no need for anyone to die.

And not unspoken, you talk about it all the time?

And now he's giving you the finger

And now it's all weird and tense

And now she has a bunch of bugs in her butt.

And now you must take that light

And now you're flirting with my girl, son?

And now, to light the Cloud 9 Olympic cauldron

And once, a couple of them hung out in the break room

And one of you is wearing too much Cool Water.

And one person bowling C and D.

And Oriental...

And other words from "Shark Tank."

And pizza... that's from Italy.

And planets.

And provides a bathroom for homeless dudes.

And purchased at a Cloud 9 store.

And really any font would be just fine.

And remembered that I had sold it seven months ago.

And Sandra has been dating him?

And say that you voted?

And say, "Fellow students, forget these note cards."

And say... I don't know, "strawberry jam."

And saying all the other countries eat beans.

And says he's gonna eat a peach for hours...

And see if that doesn't make it easier?

And see? There she is, doing fine.

And several small bags of marijuana.

And sexy, and... and you're a hard worker.

And she doesn't even know if she's gonna keep it.

And she ended up moving to Australia

And she got up and drove from her house

And she is a liar and a fraud, like my sister.

And she was already a gold medal winner.

And she won't even want to go out with him.

And she's 40, so obviously a lot of need there.

And she's not gonna tell anybody.

And shorter Asians, but that is it.

And since Brett's knee is still injured

And since you guys set the temperatures,

And smart...

And smashing them on the floor.

And smoke out with him.

And so it's essentially like community organizing,

And so would Helvetica and Garamond,

And Softlines... Sandra, you can do that, right?

And some amazing movies.

And some dirty pictures from another one.

And some people think that you have a crush on Amy,

And some people think that you're a Sea Org, whatever that is.

And sometimes they're curved...

And stop them from buying stuff.

And strong.

And Susie went to Mexico for liposuction,

And take the dogs that don't get adopted back to the shelter.

And talk about our periods.

And test it for diabetes.

And thank you.

And that goes for all of you [Bleep].

And that I should cover for him by telling you

And that is our skit on the abortion debate.

And that is Ricky's penis.

And that is that we

And that registration is under "Jonah Simms"?

And that's beautiful.

And that's going in your file for life.

And that's it next to a golf ball just for scale.

And that's the difference between being stranded

And the alarms and all that.

And the answer is: I don't know.

And the baby grows up and takes care of the dogs.

And the CPR classes and breastfeeding class...

And the key to getting through it

And the meth.

And the noise was just...

And the only way that we're gonna do that is by working to...

And the other half are... are out.

And the raptors

And the shopping cart was, like, an axe murderer?

And the vaping thing, huh?

And the whole team in Associate Relations.

And their cafe has never given anyone diarrhea.

And then as soon as you walked away,

And then Bobby will be like, "Thanks, Kelly."

And then don't do anything you're gonna regret.

And then got married because we had to.

And then he's like "Hey, dummy, what are you texting me on?"

And then I couldn't stop rambling.

And then I covered it up, which is dumb, because I'm dumb.

And then I just started liking the attention.

And then I saw that they were hiring here

And then I was gonna rob the place.

And then it occurred to me,

And then Jenny dies

And then maybe you can just bring the check now.

And then move 'em to the PRC.

And then the other associates notice,

And then the other person has to do it.

And then the volleyball floats away.

And then there's Bo,

And then there's the one where Tom Hanks

And then they grow up,

And then they inevitably retweet,

And then they just get rid of me like I'm trash?

And then we all move on with our lives.

And then we can go home to our loved ones.

And then we DTR'd...

And then we just stopped talking.

And then we made love.

And then we save up our money,

And then we'll do the pamphlet stuff after?

And then we're all in danger.

And then you step on some invisible land mine, and you're fighting.

And then, from the back of the auditorium, Renee yells...

And then, you know, they don't even tell them

And then... I don't.

And then... or London, Hong Kong, Atlantis?

And there he is.

And there's a guy who dresses up as a clown

And there's a large group of them in Australia.

And there's a VP coming in to oversee this rollout.

And there's a washer/dryer right behind the kitchen.

And they have to be out of their house today.

And they left me at PetSmart.

And they throw each other funerals.

And they were gonna regret it, so nope.

And they're all gonna have a different opinion.

And third of all, which is gonna sound similar

And this girl is a bigot, but I have a plan.

And this isn't even like a "sorry, not sorry" situation.

And this one is friends with John Leguizamo.

And this proves it.

And this was the money I'd gotten together

And those are two things I can get behind.

And though I am thankful

And threatening a pharmacist, by the way?

And throwing it in the garbage.

And took all that oxi, and, like, got out.

And tried to brainwash me with an hour long propaganda tour."

And turns out they're closed today

And use, like, streamers?

And want me all to yourself?

And was up half the night kicking myself for it.

And watch some monkeys swinging around on the trees.

And watching Freddie Prinze Jr.

And waxes and plucks and bleaches...

And we actually just call it sex.

And we all say it's the cutest baby we ever seen

And we are asking people to boycott the store.

And we are gonna overcome this,

And we are working on it.

And we asked her that question,

And we blew through that on the bat traps.

And we can get that and more.

And we can run the plate.

And we did the whole "baby first" thing,

And we don't get paid for overtime,

And we get back out there and we serve our customers.

And we go out for drinks.

And we haven't really spent that much time together.

And we keep an even tally in terms of orgasms.

And we won't fight anymore.

And we'll all vote on that person.

And we'll just tell Dina that it was misplaced.

And we're definitely not married, so...

And we're offering up big discounts

And we're staying cool as [Bleep] cucumbers.

And weirdly, you're sad about it.

And went to college or something?

And what about Bo?

And what are they saying about you?

And what if the theme was babies?

And what restaurant is open at, like, 4:00 in the morning?

And what she said made a lot of sense.

And what's up, these floors are like made for it, right?

And when I asked her why, she said, "Shut up, Sandra."

And when she's...

And when they become very engorged...

And which so few people succeed.

And who knows if that guy was even a real war hero.

And who's, um, coming here right now.

And why you shouldn't date white guys.

And will you please take off that stupid fedora?

And with due diligence.

And women in general, if possible.

And work the gun counter.

And yeah, I'ma cut corners,

And you can't even make an exception for me?

And you deserve it, so you go off and have fun.

And you don't want that.

And you drew a picture of a skateboard.

And you get picking up pizzas.

And you got one of this.

And you guys aren't friends anymore?

And you guys didn't.

And you guys will keep this a secret, right?

And you just sort of walk into it.

And you know what, why don't you guys get packing?

And you know what? There is nothing cooler

And you need a volunteer to put it out.

And you plan on how you're gonna spend the money,

And you treated it humanely.

And you turned this into Thunderdome.

And you use the word "ostensibly" too much.

And you!

And you... you didn't tell me?

And you'll never know where it is,

And you're confident and caring,

And you're focused on the chewing gum?

And you're gonna fire whoever we say?

And you're never supposed to hide under an overpass.

And you're proud, of course,

And you're sexy and...

And you're strong

And you're the golf club. You know?

And your feelings, and I'll mix 'em up and give you back something real good.

And, I don't know, I started having other feelings...

And, like, little cloud muscles.

And, like, was doing, so I was...

And, please, nobody be weird around him.,

And, please, nobody say "super cazh,"

And, so, we talked about it, and then we yelled about it,

And, uh, I just wanted to make sure that Emma's okay.

And, uh, I personally would rather

And, uh, oh, and this sweetheart here is Opal,

And, uh... and persistent

And, um, Myrtle, I'm gonna need you to start folding,

And, um, Sandra, you're still with Jeff?

And, you know, making them say America is the best...

And, you know, stuff like that.

And?

And...

And... and Jonah is an alarm clock.

And... and that's weird.

And... and we now have a Black Todd.

And... I don't know... I guess I just thought

And... if it's okay with you...

And... then also she's, like, a little thick.

And... what?

Another one went to prison?

Another one.

Answer him!

Anti worker candidates.

Any advice for my first Black Friday?

Any differently just 'cause I'm sleeping with the boss.

Any interest in joining the military?

Anybody see "Sully"?

Anymore.

Anyone could tell that's what he was doing.

Anyone?

Anything can happen.

Anything suspicious recently.

Anything.

Anytime.

Anytime.

Anyway, does anybody have any questions?

Anyway, enough politics. I just need a sticker.

Anyway, good for you for finding him.

Anyway, I just started driving, and...

Anyway, I remembered selling the same man

Anyway, I've been thinking about it,

Anyway, I've gone ahead and taken my old job back.

Anyway, if that's something you feel you can't do,