☊ Rick and Morty - Season 2 Soundboard

A 2, 3, 4!

A 40 year old birdperson? Like, what?!"

A are my grandkids alive?

A bad song's a bad song.

A better place for all, no matter how many legs.

A choose your own cellphone carrier thing.

A feedback look of uncertainty that split our reality

A FEW LIGHT MINUTES SOUTH OF HERE.

A freaking lunatic.

A giant head has entered earth's gravity,

A goddess.

A hit song? We can't possibly...

A hit song.

A live performance of a newly written, catchy original song.

A long history together.

A long time ago, I implanted you with a subdermal chip

A one way ticket to staying on my body town.

A person no one's ever heard of until now,

A platonic friendship with an attractive female co worker.

A second mortgage on that tower.

A spoon, Morty?

A thing or two about... Wait, what?

A VERY PLANETARY MIND SET, MORTY.

A walking burlap sack filled with turds.

AAH!

Aah!

AAH!

AAH! [ BREATHING HEAVILY ]

AAH! [ NECK SNAPS ]

Aah! Aaaaah!

Aah! Aah!

Aah! Golf is hard again! Golf is hard again!

Abort launch! Abort! Hello?

About 30 yards east. Or 300 yards west.

About 6 million years ago

About an animal's life than my own ego?

About how little I trust marriage.

About the condition of our dear, beloved pibbles.

About what I did back there, Rick.

About your place in the universe,

About your relationship

About, like, the general vibe and stuff.

Above a alien dungeon!

According to this state's veterinarian statute,

Actually, I've decided not to eat it.

Actually, if you try to tell anyone what happened here,

ACTUALLY, IT'S BECAUSE OF YEARS OF NEGLECT.

Actually, let me grab my white board.

Actually, no. I think Unity's great

Actually, sorry, Summer.

Actually, the wedding was beautiful.

Advertising is my usual game, but I'm between...

Affirmative! Returning to sender.

After 988 seasons of "Planet Music",

After a famous vampire movie? Was he doing a bit?

After a pretty intense, mixed bag of a year.

After all you've done to blackmail me?

After due consideration, I have elected not to retire.

After he takes me out, he's... He's gonna be coming for you.

After I become a type one civilization,

AFTER I RETURN TO THE OTHERS WITH THIS LOCATION,

After we broke up,

Against the gromflamites!

AGGA BLAG BLAG BLAG!

AGGA BLAG BLAG OHH!

AGGA BLAG BLAG?

AGGA BLAG! UH, WHAT DO YOU WANT?

Ah ah ah ah ah aah aah.

Ah ha ha. Boy, Jerry must think

Ah, all right. Fuck it.

Ah, damn.

Ah, I'll push it to next week.

Ah, you're paranoid, Rick. You've been paranoid since 'nam.

Aha, you see? What did I tell you two?

Aha! Yes!

AIDS!

AIN'T THAT RIGHT, HOMEY?

Alan Jefferson or something like that.

Alien hospital,

Alien prisoners under the house.

Aliens bureaucrats are gonna arrest you.

All bad, I hope. Ha ha!

All can be returned. All can be taken away.

All hail the one true God... The giant head in the sky.

All I have are pictures of me and my friends from school.

All ice cream is now for all beings, no matter how many legs.

All of Rick's moves are dick moves!

All of them. That's their job.

All of these relationships are different,

All of you have loved ones.

All participation is involuntary.

All right, all right, cool it. I see what's happening here.

All right, all right. Thank you, Mr. Sanchez.

All right, beta shit seven,

All right, both of you just don't move.

ALL RIGHT, COOL. [ CELLPHONE BEEPS ]

All right, everybody listen to me.

All right, everybody.

All right, everything resolved?

All right, fine. Summer, Morty, put them on.

All right, guys, let's go home.

All right, here we go

All right, here we go.

All right, hey, hey, that's cool.

All right, I get it.

All right, I'm bored.

ALL RIGHT, I'M DONE.

All right, I'm gonna go to the roof and set things up.

All right, listen, you two.

All right, man, I'll talk to you later. Okay

ALL RIGHT, MORTY, LESSON'S OVER.

All right, Morty! You've done it.

All right, Morty. L let's get out of here.

All right, Morty. Let's get... let's do it.

All right, not bad.

All right, now, you listen to me.

All right, okay, fair is fair.

All right, okay, now we're in the quiet safe room

All right, okay, okay, okay, wrap it up.

All right, okay!

All right, perfect. Sit still.

All right, since this time crystal exists in both possibilities,

All right, that's it! I'm out.

All right, that's it. Move out!

All right, there's six of us.

All right, third time's the charm.

All right, uh, let's go find my ship.

All right, uh, maybe...

All right, way to go, Summer! What did I tell you?

All right, well, those are the two choices,

All right, well, w what do I owe you for the wiper fluid?

All right, you know what I'm talking about.

All right!

All right! Good work, Mr. goldenfold!

All right! That's enough!

All right.

ALL RIGHT. LET'S PROCEED.

All right. That's good. Good job.

All right. There's six of us, and that's it.

All right. Well, um, I'm not a huge fan, personally,

All the famous ones... they're gone.

All the important points seem pretty clear, no?

All the tiny people. Dorothy, take us away.

All this fear and conflict... I'm sure it's ruined the meat.

All you care about is yourself! You think supporting the family

All your shit, so it's together.

All: Bleeeeeeeeeh!

All: Go, son, go!

All: Hello, Rick.

All: Hey! We're right here. We're fine.

All: I'm fine.

All: Never.

All: Yes, Rick. Yes.

All... all I wanted was for everyone to like me.

Along for the ride, and they said, "ah, shit."

Already lost interest. Get in the car.

Also, if you tell your mom about this,

Am I a victim, Beth,

Am I right?

Am I the only real person on Earth?!

AMAZING.

Amphetetron?

AN ALT ON THAT COULD BE, LIKE, IF I SAID GASABLANCA!

An army of Jerrys.

An army of youbadass self?

An army.

An arrogant scientist prick on the verge of microverse technology,

AN ENTIRE AFTERNOON AT BLIPS AND CHITZ!

An hour ago, shrimply pibbles,

And 12 million deep fryers,

And 16 quadrants,

And a bar of dark chocolate.

And a bird teenager comes into your home and says,

And a bunch of free shit!

And a crotchless uncle Sam costume,

And a lot of vodka.

And a month from now,

And all sorts of things like... such as that.

And all the blood drained out of her.

And always hit on a soft 16.

And as a horse surgeon, I'm sure that you know

And as a result, he has the power to save or destroy entire worlds.

And away we go!

And away we go.

And being like, "what the"

And being nice is something stupid people do

And bring our musical reality show to a conclusion.

And called you a dumb ass, so you replied and told them,

And charge my phone and stuff.

And constantly makes it our problem.

AND DECISION MAKING A LOT TODAY,

And do a little bit of exploring.

And do you know whyi'm never coming back to this planet?

And don't even try to deny it, either.

And even I'm sitting here listening to the two of you

And even if he did, he wouldn't comprehend them.

And even if we were in a hospital, what could we do?

And every flashback is another mattress. Look!

And face the corner and talk to nobody.

And fly it to the country's top deer surgeon

And foam fists don't make you strong.

And found your subterranean lair

And fuck me for letting my guard down,

And fugitive Rick Sanchez,

And get you a coffee?

And hang out in the zit covered, hormone addled,

And have a family meeting in the morning.

And have proscribed antidepressants.

AND HE DOES HIS BUSINESS IN PUBLIC,

And he got away.

And he is the reason you and I know each other...

And he left us on dwarf terrace 9.

And he rubs it and spits on it.

And help us hunt the vampire down?

And help you get back to him.

And her husband, Sleepy Gary, is hands down my absolute best friend.

And hit the car and then we're gonna crash

And hook them up to an alien car battery

And hopes we have a great ascension festival!

And how dare you even ask me that?

And I came to this planet to eat babies.

And I could turn a black hole into a sun,

And I demand that you cut off my penis

AND I DO NOT OVERSTEP MY BOUNDS WITH MORTY.

And I do not understand how, or why,

And I eat it out there,

And I followed them when they hauled it off.

And I guess it's time for me to get back inside the old timer.

And I guess you guys felt like it was okay

And I honestly can't even tell the two of you apart half the time

And I know I sound like mom,

And I know you wanted to be the one to save it.

And I said, "The battery"?

And I say we show it right up this floating head's ass.

And I trust you to confine your activities

And I want the entire fld of your largest stadium

And I want the stands packed

And I will be what the single minded

And I won't forgive you for that.

And I'd push you on the swings?

And I'll be damned if

And I'll even call you on a regular basis...

And I'm gonna make a new life for myself among the tree people.

And I'm lucky to have you, and I never tell you that!

And I'm trying to save your life!

And if he loves Tammy, well, then I love Tammy, too.

And if Mr. Beauregard wasn't our butler,

And if you continue to turn your flooble cranks,

And if you gotta take it somewhere,

And ignore all random thoughts that feel... spidery.

And it certainly can't be someone

And it'll send you into a murderous rage if it gets

And it's gonna be what we deserve.

And it's not what you think.

And it's the will of the many heads

And just starts kicking the shit out of you.

And lay down some kind of beat?

And leaning off to screen left.

And let me tell you, I care about my personal space.

And let's get some stepped up personal space

And let's get this dumb universe rolling.

AND LIKE YOU ALWAYS SAY,

And listen. Yes?

And look at this thing it's a monster.

And look how important potatoes have become.

And loving like, oh, I don't know,

And making whatever that gesture means...

And maybe the public giving a shit about your feelings

And mistrusting each other.

And Morty's bringing Jessica. He needs his tiny wing man.

And my lack of cats

And never come back? No. It's your house.

And never really be complete.

And no more subterranean excavation

And not just some big lie we're all telling ourselves

And nothing on the cob.

And now I'm... I help people.

And now it has a hole in it. I hope it was worth it.

And now Summer's doing it... and now you got Summer to kiss your ass.

And now we know why. Because of you!

And now we're back to "how did I get here?"

And now you want his penis, and you hand me some... Catalog.

And now you're just repeating stuff.

And our planet will be destroyed if they get out.

And our racism and, of course, the Amber Alerts

And put a wall around them.

And put it in that man's chest.

And rage out of our system...

And Rick did chain me up

And save my people from the horrors of this yearly festival.

And she just got me kicked out of school!

And since it's impossible that I didn't nail this,

And smarter than you are!

And smear them all over your face!

And squeegee comes up from the garage, right?

And step away from Mr. pibbles!

And Tammy!

And tell him to bring some brews!

And tell Rick I'm sorry he has to deal with eitherof you.

And tell shrimply pibbles

And that guy is from that universe.

And that guy made a universe.

And that lab coat's pretty cool.

And that's it

And that's the universe where I was born

And that's the wa a a a y the news goes.

And that's why I always say shum shum shlippedy dop!

And the best ice cream in the multiverse!

And the idea that it has anything to do with Rick

And the ploobis and grumbo are shaved away.

And the reason I'm alive at all.

And then because theyput you there,

And then Ethan played guitar, and we learned

And then he's gonna kill us!

And then someone's gonna throw a rock

And then the microverse around that, and guess what?

And then the next thing you know,

And then there's 31 other versions of me

And then they found out I was attached,

And then they use those to multiply and spread out, take over planets.

And then we showed up here, and I wasn't like,

And then you don't come back,

AND THEN YOU WENT BACK TO WORK AT THE CARPET STORE?

And there is no Cervine Institute.

And there's an alien towel.

And there's the approach.

And they push it through the grumbo,

And they smooth it out with a bunch of schleem.

And they try to purge us, we got to purge them first.

AND THEY'RE ALL COMING TO VISIT.

AND THINK ABOUT YOUR FUTURE.

And this deer needs medical attention.

And this entire building is, in a certain sense, surrounded.

And this planet is the worst. How can you be into this?

And Unity doesn't want to talk to you.

And watch a lifetime original

And we can play Nintendo games!

And we just need you to sign off on it.

And we need to have a serious conversation.

And we should get you to a doctor.

And we will now render Jerry's perception of Beth

And we're gonna be stuck down there

And we've got about four hours to be is.

And what will he say when he hears the big news?

And what's your plan, general?

And who can have fun with this old bastard hanging around, huh?

And why aren't you more ashamed of yourself?

And why is our phone bill $700?

AND WIPE THEM ALL OVER EACH OTHER.

And with relatively few adjustments,

And won't take it public, however,

And wonder what might have been

And you and I will be on ice cream street, baby!

And you both want to be grandpa's favorite.

AND YOU CAN NEVER TELL WHAT TIME IT IS.

AND YOU CAN SHOOT THINGS!

And you caused another time fracture.

And you did it so we could clean the house after a party?

And you don't even know what it's like to be afraid of losing anything ...Than lose him!

And you force me to watch it happen because you'd rather lose them and lose me...

And you guys are a group of wanted criminals,

And you know what?

And you peed in all of your pants,

And you ruined ice cream with your boobs out.

And you take a giant shit on it.

And you throw me the one thing that can never kill anything?

And you will be assigned a function.

And you, Mr. President...

And you're a horrible influence on it.

And you're gonna type the number I just gave you into the keypad.

And you're taking it out on me. That's a good script.

And you're working together to get us back home.

And you've been a perfect companion to me my entire life.

And your alien prisoner,

And your miniverse is the size of a fucking lobster tank!

And your solution is to shoot the audience?

And, as you can see from my flat, concentric nipple rings,

And, by the way, our TV signals take light years

And, most importantly,

And, now, you're trying to rush it along.

And, you know, just wait out the purge?

And, you know, some of it goes to power my engine

And... and open the blast shields and let us the hell out of here!

Annnd during that time,

Announcer: SPIRALING PERFECTLY!

Any deer shot by a hunter

Any leads on the vampire?

Any of your, uh, scientists working on anything new?

ANY SPECIES THAT GETS AHOLD OF THIS THING

Anybody here think it's suspicious

Anyone working on, say, a little universe in a box?

ANYTHING WITH LESS THAN EIGHT LIMBS

Anyway, I say we go home, sleep it off,

Anyway, we're not supposed to be in here.

Arbolian Mentirososians, show us what you got!

Are all present life forms assimilated?

Are already scattered to the quantum [bleep] wind?

Are at least 90% similar to earth?

Are attempting to show this being what humanity's got...

Are less evolved than the ones that just communicate!

Are still out of town and if we can have a party!

Are they not really aliens?

Are those baby quiches?

Are those cats?

Are those chokers from the '90s?

Are those... Mountains on a cob?

Are you dogs? Robot dogs?

ARE YOU DONE? I'LL LET YOU KNOW, MORTY.

Are you going as motorcycles

ARE YOU GOING ON A QUEST TO FIND HE WHO SMELT IT?

Are you guys down with that?

Are you guys in that movie The Craft with Fairuza Balk?

Are you guys Power Rangers,

Are you hyphenating it?

ARE YOU KIDDING? I WISH I HAD THIS IDEA.

ARE YOU KROMBOPULOS MICHAEL'S TARGET?

Are you losing your mind?

Are you okay? I'm putting you on speaker.

Are you ready to be nice to me?

ARE YOU TIRED OF THE SAME DAILY DROLL?

Are you writing this down? Will you please write this down?

Are you? What part of that gives me anything to work with?

Aren't concerned

Aren't these people gonna barf into our mouths and absorb us?

ARH! [ NECK SNAPS ]

Arms down. I'm gonna do this again.

Around here a at this place, you know?

Arthrisha, what do you got?

As a looting by the korblocks.

As a vet, I'm sure you know that a deer

As long as Rick was out there,

As punishment for not caring enough about anything.

As we can all see,

As you can see,

Asshole!

AT A CERTAIN POINT, MY HANDS ARE TIED, MORTY.

At every one of those heads in the sky.

At first, everyone was like,

At least until Morty has graduated high school.

At least we're real, Jerry.

At least when I'm disgusting, it's on purpose.

At that lady over there getting coffee.

At the galactic federation in an hour.

At the same time,

At which point he'll realize what a hypocrite he's being,

At your Sonic testing facility at Area 51.

AW, BETH.

AW, CRAP.

Aw, hell no, man.

Aw, old man Rick can't party with a whole planet?

Aw, shoot. It was supposed to be a surprise.

Aww!

Aww.

Aww. Mr. Beauregard.

B but... But we don't have a song!

Baby wizard was a parasite?

Back in Brooklyn, we got a sayin'..

Be ashamed of yourself, sweetie.

Be better than me.

Beacon arriving.

Beat his ass! Get him! Beat him up!

BECAUSE GRANDPA ISN'T SHADY.

Because I don't go by height or age,

Because I don't want him to leave again, you dumb asshole!!

Because I just realized I haven't run

Because I think I have

Because I waited until I was certain

Because I was working on my universe.

Because I wasn't paying attention,

Because I'll just be ice floating through space,

Because I'm the smartest.

Because if I let you make me nervous,

Because in a strange way,

Because Jerry thinks you're that much stronger

Because of the kids in the first place

Because of your abandonment issues.

Because she she'll She bucks pretty hard.

Because the fleeb has all of the fleeb juice.

Because the two of you are the worst!

Because there was no chance of it ever hurting you.

Because they think it makes fruit grow bigger.

Because we are real and we are functional.

Because we got some fucking company.

Because we're afraid to die alone?

Because we're saving a little girl.

Because you cling and you cling. And why? Because you're the child, Beth!

Because you created someone smarter than you.

Because you have one night a year where you all run around

Because you love us?

Because you want grandpa all to yourself!

Because, you know, that's exactly how we all die... alone.

Before they even got pregnant, I bet.

Before they were assimilated.

Beggar: And I have no problem with that,

Begging your pardon, master Rick,

Beings everywhere have come together

Besides, there's a larger lesson to be learned here. Get him!

Best door ever.

Best weekend ever, Rick.

Beta seven, if my allies are a problem for you,

Beta seven, this is my single minded friend

Beta seven.

Beth and Jerry Smith? Yes.

Beth, Beth, please!

Beth, can we talk about this privately.

Beth, I'm your father!

Beth, it's me, your husband!

Beth, squanchy culture is more contextual than literal.

Beth, we'd like to promote you from horse surgeon

Beth! You'll want to see this.

Beth.

Beth's automatically on board always

Between the giant spiders and the government.

BETWEEN YOU AND ME, MORTY.

Beyond that, no offense to any of you, but all bets are off.

Biatch!

Bird dick.

Birdperson is my best friend,

Birdperson, you always stick up for Rick,

Birdperson!!

Birdperson.

Birdperson...

Birdperson's big day, Morty,

Blane: Need, or want?

Boom! In your face, Summer!

Bring him to the garage.

Bringing you guys in is my ticket up.

Brings the total price down to $110 after tax.

Burger time!

But a little help?

But also, I would never do that

But any astronauts you guys had in orbit are definitely dead.

But are we really supposed to believe

But at this point, you're performing it on venison.

But can you help me get to my family?

BUT GRANDPA AND GOVERNMENT DON'T GET ALONG.

But had to abandon Rick.

But he doesn't care about anyone but himself.

But he's got a lobster in one hand,

But he's just a human in a costume, you know?

But here's my reverse ask...

But here's what's gonna happen.

But hey, it's not like this planet

But how did you know it was Nicky?

But I also think that, one day, you'll all look back

BUT I AM GLAD THAT YOU INSISTED

But I can't give a crap about it.

But I can't sacrifice this whole family's safety

But I do want to say you are not making this easy.

But I don't get why I would do that.

But I don't know what to do with it, and it hurts.

But I feel like one of the 64 Ricks,

But I have a boyfriend, and, uh, he's just...

But I know us, and you're real, Jerry.

But I love barbecuing.

But I seem to recall a great deal of confusion

But I thought there were infinite time lines?

But I took an oath that I would let no animal come to harm.

But I was frozen and exiled to the cosmos by my elders

BUT I WISH I WAS THE VERSION OF ME THAT OWNED IT.

But I... I think we have to just...

But I'll be back to have sex with the survivors.

But I'm ready to roll those dice.

But I've become inebriated.

But I've grown.

But if Morty doesn't come back with my portal gun

But if those memories can't be trusted, then...

BUT IF YOU CAN LEAVE, THEN WHY ARE YOU STILL HERE?

But if you don't do it, I say it's because

BUT IN MY CULTURE, WARS HAVE BEEN FOUGHT

But in the end, there can only be one...

But inside that container is an infinite universe

But it clearly means I have a problem with myself.

BUT IT LOOKS LIKE WE'RE GONNA BE HERE FOR A WHILE.

But it's worth the risk.

But less off putting.

But life is made of little concessions.

But listen... I forgive you both because you know what?

But maybe there would be less conflict

But now things are evened out, so, arthrisha?

But obviously you don't have to make dinner every night.

But once I learn to accelerate the temporal field,

But only on one small part of your necks?

But our time's gonna need a little time to, you know, stabilize.

But Rick, summer's just

BUT THAT THIS GAS GOT NERVE!

But that's not really worth anything tonight, is it?

But the car seems to have the upper hand.

But the key is, it has to be our daughter,

But the only way your dumb ass assin' ass asses

But the top deer surgeon...

But the two of us, together?

But then I think, you know, in a lot of ways,

But there is still time.

But there's always been 10.

But there's not.

BUT THERE'S TWO DIFFERENT COLORS.

But these arms are vestigial!

But they don't exactly sell them at Costco.

But they're not themselves anymore.

But this girl is one of your poor people,

But this here is another matter.

But this house has been infested with fake loved ones

But those bad thoughts are the real Rick.

But time breaking twice means our problem is

But to patent and sell the cure for billions of blemflarcks.

But uncle Steve taught me how to ride a bike!

But unless this can beat that,

But we hunted it to extinction for breakfast.

But what if the you that likes it isn't you?

But what they won't know is

But why has Rick returned?

But you can't go in the garage when Rick's not here. I "can't"?

BUT YOU COULD UNDO IT IF YOU WANTED.

But you have spent this time learning nothing.

But you have to understand that as far as grandpa's concerned,

But you know the reason why

BUT YOU SAVED A MIND READING FART.

But you'd still be the woman I married.

But you'll break mom's heart.

But you're just bringing out the worst in each other.

But, and this is purely hypothetical,

But, baby, listen

But, Beth, what kind of man would say something like that

But, listen, just be careful.

But, Rick, even you have to admit you do tend to overreact to stuff

But, uh...

But, you know, on a planetary scale.

But... but... Here's the thing.

By implying I'm competitive?

By making incisions here, here, and here.

By myself, have a shot of getting out of here,

By other people's opinions of me.

BY PULLING THAT LEVER TO THE LEFT OF MY CELL?

By the alien known as Rick, who once gave our world

By the human known as Jerry Smith.

By watching a little of this purge through it?

Bye, Morty.

C CAN WE PLEASE?

C COULD YOU SING FOR ME AGAIN?

Call off the nuclear strike! This is the president!

Called it.

Calling all jan Michael Vincents.

CALLING ME GEARHEAD

Calling myself. Here, listen.

Calling you on a space phone.

Can be saved if we replace his heart with your human penis.

Can get to us.

Can I take it back?

Can take its business elsewhere.

Can the pope's dick fit through a doughnut?

Can we please talk about our situation?

Can you assimilate a giraffe?

Can you believe this guy, ladies and gentlemen?

Can you help us?

Can you make me a dumb grandson pep talk?

Can't afford to chance it.

CAN'T BLAME THAT ON THE DOG.

Can't think of anyone that is.

Can't you make some more?

Can't you see you're all the same?

CARBON BASED LIFE IS A THREAT TO ALL HIGHER LIFE.

Change of plan, people.

Check it out.

Check out all these zany characters.

Check out the new dance I made up.

Check this move out. # Oh, it feels good

Cheers to that, motherfucker!

CHILDREN, ANIMALS, OLD PEOPLE DOESN'T MATTER.

Chris, I'm in the middle of something.

Chris!

Class dismissed.

Clearly, I didn't know it was about vampires,

Coach feratu. Coach feratu.

Coach feratu's presence

Code tango niner Alpha!

Cold stone creamery is the best.

Come and get it, kitty.

COME FIND ME.

Come on in, guys.

Come on, come on, come on.

Come on, cousin Nicky. You heard Rick.

COME ON, JERRY. ALL RIGHT. COME ON, JERRY.

Come on, let's help grandpa.

Come on, man.

Come on, man. It's this way.

Come on, Morty.

Come on, Pencilvester. Give me anything.

Come on, Summer, that's the title of the art.

Come on, Summer.

Come on, this way!

Come on. It's not every day that I'm town.

Come out in the form of tiny Rick's teen angst!

Come out of the vehicle with your hands in the air!

Come out with your hands up, or we will be forced to open fire!

Come with me into the forest.

COMING THROUGH THE STEREO INSTEAD OF THE TV.

Coming through.

Coming through. What are you here for?

Compliments of the galactic federation.

Computer, how many planets in the milky way

Concentrate and turn into a car, Morty.

Confirm custom defense protocol

Confirmed, shipping Jerry.

Confirmed.

Connecting to agent.

Contact the ministry of tourism for details.

Containing all perceptions of its romantic partner.

Cool it, now. Take it easy.

COOL! [ LAUGHS ]

Cool.

Could ever have on is if it was stolen.

Could we take arthrisha up in the ship

Could witness my melding with Tammy.

Could you get more excited to see me fail?

Could you give me some help with it, or...?

Countless planets and species.

Cousin Nicky was a parasite?!

Covered end to end with naked redheads,

Crank it.

Crash rent free at his otherfamily's house?

D DON'T DODGE THE ISSUE, RICK!

D I i i i ie!

Dad, grandpa and Morty are in danger.

Dad, I can't believe you're explaining alien cereal.

Dad, what do you know about this?

Dad, what's going on? What's the deal here?

Dad, who the fuck is taddi Mason?

Dad, why does our house have blast shields?

Dad, you can't talk about people behind their back.

Dad, you have a friend that's getting married.

Dad, you love them unconditionally.

Damn, girl! You need to chill out!

DAMN.

Dare to dream.

DARN RIGHT, BRO! ROY RULES!

Dear God.

Delivery for Rick.

Delivery guy: I realize now that I'm attracted to you

Demons...

Diabolical, unfeeling sociopath.

Dicks and licking disgusting furry testicle sacks.

Did he just say "musical reality show"?

Did people get into it right away,

Did that not even happen?

DID YOU COME HERE IN A SPACESHIP?

Did you create my universe? Is my universe a miniverse?

Did you get any of that?

Did you want to play checkers? Let's be rational!

Didn't know that was a necessity, but...

Didn't you say time goes more slowly in the miniverse

Dinner sounds nice.

Disqualified and losing planets are disintegrated by plasma ray.

Disqualified!

Disqualified.

Do all of you remember who you are?

Do I, uh, get, uh, a big rock, or...?

Do it! Do it, motherfucker!

Do it! Do it!

Do we know what this giant head wants?

Do you ever get scared grandpa Rick might make me his new sidekick?

Do you have any thoughts? Notes?

DO YOU HAVE THE WEAPON?

Do you know what i love about you, Rick?

Do you not see the hypocrisy here?

Do you think mom and dad are, you know,

DO YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT TWO HUMANS CAN ACCOMPLISH

Does all interdimensional TV

Does everybody see what I mean?

Does... Does that scan?

Doesn't make me a bad person!

Doesn't that become tedious and worn out,

Doesn't that mean that we're all synchronized?

Don't analyze it, Nathan. It's working!

Don't blame this on me. You're the one that couldn't fix a latch.

Don't break your weak ass time again.

DON'T COME WITH. IT'S BORING.

Don't do it.

DON'T FLY TOO CLOSE TO THAT PLANET.

DON'T FORGET TO CHECK THE REASON FOR YOUR DROP OFF.

Don't hate the player, hate the game, son.

Don't insult my father.

Don't make things worse, Rick!

Don't overreact, Rick.

Don't short sell yourself, Summer.

Don't shy away from it.

Don't speak, don't think. I have to check something.

Don't talk that way about her.

Don't talk to her that way! She's your granddaughter!

Don't waste your brain on those weirdos, Unity.

Don't watch, but, you know, it's my car.

Don't worry about it, Morty.

Don't worry about Jerry. He's gonna be fine.

Don't worry. I have a plan.

DON'T YOU FEEL A LITTLE PATRONIZED?

Don't... mess... with time!

Dr. glip glop is the best in the galaxy.

Dramatic effect.

Drop drop your shit! Drop it all.

DROP THE GUN. YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND!

Drop the portal gun.

Dumb name.

During which we can all get this hate, murder,

Earth is just one of my many stops

Earth will be swarming with them.

Earth's on in six hours.

Eat some fucking shit, you fucking stupid bitch.

Eat this!

Eating that motherfucking ice cream!

Eek barba dirkle, somebody's gonna get laid in college.

Eh, thank you, sir. Thank you.

EH, WHATEVER.

Eight, personal space.

Emergency! Wounded deer coming in.

Enough to pay for a brand new, state of the art synthetic heart

Especially when I change them.

Even dumber than regular planning.

Even jobs, possibly as worm ranchers.

Even kicking your ass.

EVEN THOUGH SACRIFICE.

Eventually, everything either is or isn't

Every crisis of faith is an opportunity for more faith.

Every hospital claims to have

EVERY KID NEEDS A DAD, BUT THERE'S NO REPLACING YOU.

Everybody back! If you're not a parasite,

Everybody makes mistakes, Rick.

Everybody nice and certain about their position in my world.

Everybody remain calm! This is gonna take some explaining.

Everybody stop remembering!

Everyone has a plumbus in their home.

Everyone here is under arrest

Everyone's gross, and they all smell like piss all the time.

Everything.

Everything's dead to you.

Everything's on a cob!!

Exactly.

Exactly. 'Cause you're being obstinate.

Except for all those redheads.

Except when sterilizing, aborting, or euthanizing them,

Excuse me, nurse, can you take my temperature

Excuse me, you can't be back here.

Excuse me?

Excuse me.

Excuse me. Can I help you?

Excuse me. Come on.

Explains a lot about where you're at.

Extra food?

Fade out.

Fade to black.

Father, can we please go to the ascension?

Father!

Father.

Feel what he's feeling.

Female president: But I know how it goes with us.

Female president: Rick, forgive me for doing this in notes.

Fine, bring it here.

Fine, whatever. Morty, stay.

Fine! Yes! Because I love you

Fine.

Fine. I'll just do it myself.

FINE. MORTY, TAKE YOUR FART TO HIS HOLE AND SAY YOUR GOODBYES.

Fine. Sheesh.

FIRST ONE THERE GETS TO ADJUST THE PICTURE SETTING!

First race war, huh?

First up, let's hear the latest song

First, they take the dinglebop,

Five...

Fix it or it's your ass.

Float around space not caring about stuff forever.

Flowers on a cob!

Focus, grandpa! Just put the stupid

Follow me on my adventure through this office.

For 230 bucks apiece easy!

For a brand new motherfucking world?!

For all we know, he could be the David Berkowitz of nutsackland.

For any zany, wacky characters that pop up.

For camouflage or something?

For crimes against the federation.

For English, press 2.

For exchange of vital resources,

For generations, it has guided the

For God's sake, Nathan, the man turns people into snakes.

For later consumption.

For our mate melding ceremony...

For real? Y y y you would stay as tiny Rick,

FOR THE CLEARANCE SALE?

For the comedy store, Morty?

For the love of God, get dressed!

For the most important man in the universe.

For the rest of your lives,

For the same reason I can't be with you.

For what it's worth, I'm sorry,

For yourself, but hey.

Forcing Zeep to say microverses are bad,

Forgive my transgressions against family and community.

Formerly the hiding place of interstellar terrorist

Four, keep away from my personal space.

Frankenstein, Sleepy Gary, photography Raptor,

Frankenstein!

FRIEND?! DO YOU EVEN KNOW MY REAL NAME?

From another world.

From Dorothy and the tiny people movie? Yes, yes.

From each other in a lot of ways,

From earth, Rick.

From his march on flirk blirk square

From now on, let's all be careful

From now on, no more of this clever name bullshit.

From planet Parblesnops', The Greeby Bobes!

From the planet e arth.

From the planet earth, and you're marrying

From there, I'll have access to

From this day forward, human and spiderkind will live

Fuck all previous existing religions.

Fuck Earth.

Fuck that, Rick! We got to kill her! Kill her! Kill her!

Fuck you, fuck nature, and fuck trees!

Fuck you, pichael. You're a fucking piece of shit.

Fuck you, Summer, and fuck the government,

Fuck you. What did you say to me?!

Fun facts about this one

Garrrh and zharbidar perceive each other.

GEARHEAD!

Gee... Rick, come on. The sun is setting.

Geez, I can't believe we found a version of Earth

Geez, Morty, the guy's just doing his job. Take it easy.

Geez, Rick, it's not like he's dying.

Geez, Rick, that's disgusting.

Geez, Rick!

Geez, you working on your tight five

GEEZ! DAMN IT, MORTY!

Geez.

Geez. # It feels good

GEEZ. DON'T WORRY.

Geez. Wow, Morty. Now you're getting into it.

Genius happens in the moment, Morty.

Gentlemen, gentlemen! One at a time! Simon?

Gestating.

Get "schwifty"? What the hell is that?

Get away from me!

Get back!

Get back! Sit down!

Get him out here now.

Get in the goddamn ship!!

Get in the ship, sweetie. What?

Get it all together and put it in a backpack.

Get me out of here!

Get me out of here.

Get me Pharrell, Randy Newman, Billy Corgan, and The Dream.

Get my pride wrapped up in your shame.

Get out here and help me!

Get out of that personal space.

GET OUT OF THE VEHICLE MADE OF GARBAGE OR WE WILL OPEN FIRE!

Get out there and get some ice creams.

GET OVER HERE AT JITZ AND CHITZ!

GET OVER HERE! PLAY THE GAMES!

Get some ice cream.

Get the fuck out of the flying machine!

Get the orthodontist out of here.

Get this man and his grandson on a black hawk to Area 51.

Get up on out of here with my eyeholes!

Get up on out of here with my eyeholes.

Get used to it. R right, Rick?

Get your family out of here!

Get your shit together.

Getting back into your old body tonight?

Giant head in the sky, please forgive all that we've done.

Give it back!

Give me my eyeholes! I'm eyehole man! That part of the cupboard is mine, Jerry!

Give me the gun

Give me the gun, Frankenstein!

Give me your collars.

Give one of them a shake.

Give us one second.

GLAD YOU'RE SAFE, JERRY.

GLAGGA BLAG BLAG.

Go change.

Go that way.

Go to the garage, transfer your mind

Go, go Sanchez ski shoes

Go, go, go!

Go, son, go! Go, son, go!

God damn it, stop.

God damn it! God damn it!!

God damn it.

God, I feel terrible.

God, no! Hunter!

God, whatever, Rick.

GONE WITH THE WIND! AM I RIGHT?!

Gonna get a divorce?

Good afternoon.

Good lord! Now what?

Good lord! Who does something like that?

Good lord. How did you...?

Good luck, Mr. President.

Good luck, Rick.

Good luck.

Good morning, family.

Good morning.

Good old Beth!

Good one, Morty. Excuse me, bartender.

Good question. I suppose the answer is I'm not certain.

Good thing I grabbed a space weapon.

Good, I'm glad it was painful. You deserve it.

Good. Okay. Great.

Goodbye

GOODBYE.

Gosh, I look around this room, and I think,

Gosh, you guys are lame.

Got it.

Grandpa Rick, couldn't you, like, use your superknowledge

Grandpa Rick, we're not leaving without you.

Grandpa Rick, what happened with Unity?

Grandpa Rick! Rick! Rick!

Grandpa, I think that, when you put your mind

Grandpa, we need to go home, now.

Grandpa's back, baby!

Grandpa's...

Grassss tastes bad ah.

Great president. All right, let's go.

Great.

Greetings!

Greetings. This is birdperson.

Gross!

Gross. No.

Gross. What is that thing?

Grounded story about their [bleep] marriage.

Guys, guys, guys, guys, whoa, whoa.

Guys, I don't expect you to understand this,

H h hunter?

H hold on a second. Hold on.

Ha ha ha. Talk about two for one, right?!

Ha ha! Ha! # It feels good

Ha! You just called yourself...

HAD WE CAUGHT IT SOONER WELL, HINDSIGHT IS 20/20, ROY.

Had you just put your faith in Rick?

Half of all time!

Happy festival cocksuckers!

Happy Ricksgiving, biiiiiitch.

Hard evidence.

Has developed a source of energy

Has just become the 6,048th planet

Has something fake important to show you.

Has spread across the galaxy.

Have I been a shoulder for you to cry on?

Have respect, yarp.

Have to be so uncertain about? Your brand of zit cream?

Have to rely on juvenile violence?

Have traveled across the galaxy.

Have you ever been to a Pizza contest?

Have you forgotten the barbecue?

HAVE YOU TALKED TO MY FATHER ABOUT THE CARPET STORE?

Have you tried sending it launch codes?

Haven't we ever had an uncomfortable silence

Haven't you been through like 15 purges?

Having sex with you. We get it. Gross.

He came here in a bubble.

He can use Google Maps.

He can't be at two quadrants at once.

He can't live outside of it without breathing heroin.

He comes bursting in through a window

HE COULDN'T BE SAFER.

He doesn't think about the consequences of anything he does.

He has been destroyed.

He is gone.

He just got ran over and chewed up by the tires.

He knew that once I got back to my car,

He knows my name!

He knows nothing of the genocides of clorgon

He might have it chained up

He probably figures it's easier

HE PUT A HELMET ON ME.

He said he was gonna go to the plimplom tavern.

HE SAVED MY LIFE.

He says he's proud of what we're doing

He set me up with my wife.

He thinks he can save his own skin by using the crystal to kill me.

He told me to tell you he's sorry

He wrote "Umbrella" and "Single Ladies"?

He's a good guy, isn't he?

He's a wonderful person and an incredible bird.

He's actually Frankenstein's monster

He's been living here almost a year now.

He's blocked me out.

He's getting married!

He's going to eat it! He's protecting it!

He's gone an hour.

He's gonna get to the ship and smash the microverse,

He's got a giant testicle for a head.

He's got his own news show. He's got a normal name.

He's inbound on an F 15, E.T.A. two hours.

He's just gonna get horrified.

He's just grumpy from the flight.

HE'S NOT GONNA MAKE IT THROUGH A PORTAL, MORTY.

He's perfectly fine. And he's on vacation in Aruba.

He's playing you, shorty.

He's probably harvesting this creature's organs.

He's probably racing to cure its space aids.

He's psychotic!

He's Rick's best friend.

He's the best.

He's the reason our kids are only half stupid.

He's trying to fight that car,

He's unavailable. He's...

HEAD FOR 3924917.

Heads up. Rapists.

Headward, free now to rise.

Hear, hear! Cheers!

Heavenly heads and cranial creator,

Hell, yeah! What's one more night?

Hello, everyone!

Hello, I'm Dr. glip glop.

Hello, summer. Hello, Morty.

Hello?

Hello? Yes, sir, yeah.

Hello?!

Hello. I can do that.

Help me save that girl, or I'm telling mom you brought me here.

Help me up.

Help me, please! You can help me!

HELP ME!

Help!

Help! Help!!

HERE COMES ANOTHER FUNNY.

Here we have garrrh and zharbidar gloompfschs,

HERE YOU GO 3,000 FLERBOS.

HERE, CHECK THIS OUT. [ COIN DROPS ]

Here, let me take care of this.

Here, look at my eyeholes.

HERE, THEY CAN ROMP AND PLAY WITH OTHER JERRYS.

Here's $500 cash in unmarked monies.

Here's my computer.

Here's our first person.

Here's some porn.

Here's the deal. I'm not here to judge.

Here's yours!

Hey oh... go easy on me. Ha ha. Just kiddin'.

Hey, damn it.

Hey, do those things need batteries?

Hey, don't blame me!

Hey, don't shove me!

Hey, everybody. It's me, Michael Thompson.

Hey, excuse me. Hello.

Hey, golf is easy now!

Hey, guys, we're home.

Hey, have a good festival, old timer.

Hey, hey, arthrisha, um, maybe I could...

HEY, HEY, BRO, HOW MANY PEOPLE

Hey, hey, hey, the three of you, put your collars on.

Hey, hey, hey! That's my stuff!

Hey, hey, Morty, Morty. There it is down there... my ship.

Hey, listen, I've grown, too.

Hey, listen, where can we get a drink around here?

Hey, look at the heads!

Hey, man, we asked if we could put up a beacon...

Hey, man, what the hell?!

Hey, man, when the hell were you?

Hey, man. Remember me?

Hey, maybe Mr. Poopypants is right.

Hey, Morty, could you lick my...

HEY, MORTY, HANG ON TO THIS.

HEY, MORTY, REMEMBER WHEN YOU SAID

HEY, MORTY, THERE'S OUR JERRY.

Hey, Morty. Oh, hey... hey, Jessica.

Hey, muchacho, does your planet have wiper fluid yet,

Hey, no! No, wait! Stop!

Hey, Rick, it's... You get the idea.

Hey, Rick, what's the deal with this guy?

Hey, Rick, who... who is jan Michael Vincent?

HEY, RICK! [ LAUGHS ]

Hey, Rick. It's Rick.

Hey, someone's been spending too much time around glowing rocks.

Hey, squanchy.

Hey, Tammy was cool!

Hey, thanks for helping me, Rick.

HEY, THANKS FOR THE CARPET, ROY.

Hey, that's my deer!

Hey, there he is.

Hey, these two freaks have no race!

Hey, tiny Rick's playing guitar.

Hey, Toby. I'm tiny Rick. I'm new.

Hey, uh, how about that drink?

Hey, um, security guards, take him out.

Hey, une. You got any more

Hey, w what's wrong, Morty?

Hey, wait huh? I don't get it.

Hey, wait a minute, Rick.

Hey, wait a minute.

Hey, wait a second, how come you guys took longer to get here?

Hey, wait what race are you guys?

HEY, WAIT. UH, DO YOU HAVE 5126?

Hey, we agreed. Never in the house.

Hey, we got a word for Nazis back in Brooklyn, pal.

Hey, welcome back to "personal space."

Hey, welcome to "cooking things."

Hey, what are you in for?

Hey, what did you think of that finale, huh?

Hey, what the fuck?! Get the fuck off me!

Hey, what's up, squanchy?

Hey, what's up, Summer? Ooh, nice top.

HEY, WHAT'S UP?

Hey, why are you such a grumpy douche, Rick?

Hey, y you want to help me out here and kill some people?

Hey, you got to sign out.

Hey, you know what, Morty?

HEY, YOU WANT TO GIVE US A HAND WITH THIS?

Hey, you... hey, quit yelling.

Hey, Zeep, the fake president of your fake world

Hey! Don't! Please!

Hey! Hey!

HEY! YOU SOLD A GUN TO A GUY THAT KILLS PEOPLE!

Hey.

HEY. ARE YOU THE ONE THAT LEFT?

Hey. Uh...

Hi, folks. Head Priest Vagina.

Hi, honey, so, here's the thing...

Hi, I'm Mr. poopybutthole from episode 204.

Hi! Jerry Smith... father of the bride's friend.

Hi. Beth.

Hi. I am not staring at you.

Hi. I'm Morty's math teacher.

HI. I'M SORRY.

Hi. Principal Vagina...

High school is my life!

His collar on, and one of me is stuck trying to help him.

His consciousness into a clone of himself

His fate will determine

His laser pistol right through my hand.

His penis will be replaced with a sophisticated prosthetic.

His people will go back to stomping on their gooble boxes,

His planet was destroyed by clorgon death squads.

Hit the sack, Jack.

Hitting "refresh" on your browser

Hm. Why's that, I wonder?

Hmm? Yeah, yeah, yes. What time?

HMM.

Hmm.

HO, HO! NOT US.

Hold it, hold it. Stop.

Hold it! Don't move!

Hold on to something.

Hold on, sir. Just a minute.

Hold on!

HOLD ON. [ CELLPHONE BEEPS ]

Hold still.

Hold you fire!

Holy [bleep] now what?

Holy [bleep]!

Holy crap, Morty, you're right.

Holy crap!

Holy crap! Look, it's that lady with the shit on her face

Holy crap. You're right, Morty.

Holy shit dad! Shut the fuck up!

Holy shit!

Holy shit. Morty?

Holy...

Honey, it's gonna be okay.

Honey, when it comes to the subject of your ego,

Honey! I got a job!

Hoo whee, what a cliffhanger.

Hooray!

Hooray! Look!

How about a taste of my squanch?!

How about a taste of the real thing?

How are you gonna just make me do whatever you say, huh?

How can Beth have these thoughts about me?!

How can I assist you? I want to talk to Unity, beta seven.

How can I do that while I'm watching you

How can someone so talented die so young?

How can you be such a bitch?

How come our collars aren't green?

How could you be so dishonest with this family?

How did I get here?

How did I get here?! Somebody, help me, please!

How did she get there?

How did she get there?!

How did this happen?

HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT ALL THESE PEOPLE

How do you know about that?

How do you know about that? It's top secret

How do you what is this?

How does a man do this without me noticing?

How hard is it to type some numbers into a box?

How he has all that shit all over his face,

How hilarious is that?

How is praying going to help?

How is that possible? Do people just die when I name them?

How long will you be visiting earth?

How long, exactly, do we have to wear these things?

How many answers that question has.

How many of those are outside federal jurisdiction?

How much money that must save production.

How often do you think you might look up at the stars

How petty would I have to be to care less

HOW SO?

How you think you gonna move time

HOWEVER, I AM ABLE TO ALTER THE COMPOSITION OF ATOMS,

However, I am also carrying a highly infectious disease

Huh, looks like something's wrong with the microverse battery.

Huh, what do you know. It's working.

Huh! Sounds like our stories were connected by a theme.

Huh. Strawberries and flowers on a cob, huh?

Huh. That's a step up.

Hundreds of billions.

Hunter? Don't

Huntin' a vampire with my grandkids!

Hurry up, Morty. Grandpa's about to un freeze time.

Hurry! Hurry! Come with me!

Hypocrisy.

I actually got that on another planet.

I ADDED 71 PROTONS TO IT.

I agree, Morty.

I agree, Rick. Let's see how long we can go.

I ain't taking no sh...

I ALMOST WISH I COULD STAY LONGER THAN ONE DAY.

I always wondered how, uh, plumbuses got made.

I am a baby! I'm a baby now!

I am a cyborg photographer. Just act natural.

I am a tax attorney.

I am currently constructing a security measure

I AM IN GREAT PAIN.

I AM NO MORE VALUABLE THAN LIFE ITSELF.

I am not staring at you.

I am ready to rejoin my brethren on alphabetrium.

I am trying to end the festival.

I am unable to destroy this army.

I am yours until my death.

I assume planet squanch...

I assume they're Schrödinger's cats.

I beg your pardon, pastor, but the last I looked outside,

I believe I can access the history of Rick's gun

I BELONG TO AN ENTIRE SPECIES OF GEAR PEOPLE.

I better make sure Rick has everything he needs to get schwifty.

I booked you for a two day intensive at nuptia four,

I bring my husband in for emergency treatment.

I call a blooble yank.

I call a flooble crank.

I call it a miniverse.

I CAME HERE ACCIDENTALLY THROUGH A WORMHOLE

I can clean it up.

I can craft stuff, too, pal!

I can do whatever you do and more, baby.

I can feel my bones scraping each other.

I can fix this. Morty, sit here.

I can hear all of y'all.

I can hear you. Ugh.

I can hear you. Yeah, so you keep saying.

I can help, too.

I can let go. Hey, look.

I can prove it mathematically.

I can roll with that.

I can send the beacon, and your sister can launch our package.

I CAN SENSE YOUR THOUGHTS.

I can tolerate it,

I CAN'T BELIEVE RICK DID THIS.

I can't believe the things this reality considers PG 13.

I can't believe you created a whole show for me.

I can't help but feel ashamed

I can't leave now. Everyone hates me.

I can't run around chopping people's heads off

I can't tell if you're being sarcastic.

I cannot argue that.

I cannot wait to hear Rick explain his way around this.

I care now. You made me care more.

I COMMUNICATE THROUGH WHAT YOU CALL JESSICA'S FEET

I could give your loved ones shelter on birdworld,

I could have sworn the house was completely trashed.

I COULD NOT AGREE MORE.

I couldn't make it work,

I crafted the guy that created the planet you're standing on!

I dabble, Mr. President.

I DID THE RIGHT THING, RICK!

I didn't ask to be born!

I didn't ask to be born. I need you to connect

I didn't do anything!

I didn't know freedom meant people doing stuff that sucks.

I didn't know that there were bugs out in space.

I didn't start it! They're the racists.

I do it everywhere! Stop shaming me!

I do not know, your unholiness.

I do. I do understand about your eyeholes.

I don't care about prosthetics. This is insane.

I don't care. I want you out.

I don't even want Jerry.

I don't get you.

I don't give a damn what else happens out there.

I DON'T KNOW HOW THIS WORKS!

I don't know if any of you guys are real,

I don't know if you can appreciate

I don't know what humans eat.

I don't know what song that is, but I fucking love it!

I don't know what to do!

I don't know what to say. Summer is doing really well here.

I don't know.

I don't know. I think, like, 1/64 of my collars didn't work.

I don't know. It was fun.

I don't know. Let's just leave.

I don't know. When I feel like it?

I don't need a granddaughter! I'm tiny ri I ck!

I don't need the rest.

I don't require a camera so...

I don't suppose he ever mentioned his daughter.

I don't think he wants to be

I don't think so, baby.

I DON'T THINK THE GROMFLAMITES CAN TRACK US NOW,

I don't want to be that girl,

I don't want to blow it.

I DON'T WANT TO DEAL WITH THIS.

I don't want to go to the dance alone.

I don't want to look at that.

I don't want to talk about it.

I DON'T WANT YOU MISSING SCHOOL ON MONDAY.

I don't, because it would bore me.

I dropped it.

I dropped out of school.

I evacuated. I evacuated the town. Look.

I feel bad that they pbht. Screw those guys.

I feel better.

I feel like, you know,

I figured it out, Rick!

I fixed it. Just put it on.

I forgot to mention,

I GET IT.

I go by amount of pain in my ass, which makes you both identical.

I got a large pepperoni and some crazy sticks.

I got all kinds of ice cream... peanut butter and jelly...

I got ambitions, man.

I got something for your ass.

I got this.

I got to back the m bomb on this one.

I got to save some trouble

I got to sit this one out,

I got to tell you, Rick. It's pretty great

I got to tell you, Zeep, with no disrespect,

I gotta expel you for this one, tr.

I guess I did the Butler! Ha ha!

I guess I should be happy for you.

I guess I take back what I said about British cuisine.

I guess it's back to the drawing board.

I GUESS THAT MAKES TWO OF US.

I guess that's another one for the cars.

I guess that's the end of that.

I guess this is what rock bottom feels like, Jerry.

I guess you were right. I've got a lot of repressed stuff.

I guess you're an okay proto recombinator.

I guessed. That's why I aimed for his shoulder.

I guided your entire civilization.

I HAD A NIGHTMARE.

I hate you, and I was thinking about your friend Grace!

I HAVE A BETTER GAMBLE FOR YOU GUYS.

I have a short neck and legs.

I have brokered a peace agreement

I have changed.

I HAVE NO CODE OF ETHICS.

I have processed that you are in in distress

I have to admit,

I have to find somewhere to hide.

I have transformed life here into a paradise.

I have!

I haven't seen you in months.

I hear you, Morty.

I hope for all our sakes you're as bad a surgeon as I am a hunter.

I hope I can call on you and Rick again if I need you, Morty.

I hope it pleases you as the head desires.

I hope you had a blast.

I hope you like being hit in the face with a gun.

I hope your God is as big a dick as you.

I I don't want to answer any more purge questions.

I I I I mean you four!

I I I understand.

I I is that why you're doing this,

I I IT'S VERY DIFFICULT.

I I merely empowered them

I I never intended to harm you, I swear.

I I refuse to send the legislation that allows

I I thought...

I I was traumatized.

I I... everyone has bad memories of me.

I I'm gonna go into the wilderness,

I I'm sick of pretending that we're together

I I'VE SEEN SOME NERVE GAS,

I if... if there's a video online

I intend to.

I it's a purge planet.

I just did, Morty. Here's dessert. Fuck you.

I just don't see how I can

I just got expelled, Summer!

I JUST LOVE KILLING.

I just love the number 6 for no reason!

I just need a few hundred dollars

I just need to hydrate,

I JUST THINK IT'S TIME TO GET REALISTIC.

I just wanted to spend some time with my daughter.

I just... I don't want to lead you on.

I keep ignoring on my phone.

I know

I know about a place off planet with a 100% success rate.

I know all of you are wondering

I KNOW HOW TO CRAWL IN A TUBE.

I know how to vacuum mom and dad, Summer.

I know how you think.

I know it's hard to understand, but on earth, love comes first.

I know it's in there.

I know it's my fault we hit the deer.

I know the two of you are very different

I know the whereabouts of Rick Sanchez,

I know this isn't the time, but, you know, technically,

I know we all have beloved memories of Rick,

I know where you are, you creepy old monster.

I know who the Smiths are.

I know you know I mean it, too. Take it easy.

I KNOW YOU'RE IN HERE. LA LA LA LA

I know you're real because I have a ton of bad memories with you!

I know you're trying to get out!

I know your game, beta seven.

I know, and now look at you!

I KNOW, RIGHT?

I know. Friends make you strong.

I learned, today, something important...

I like hanging out. Tiny Rick!

I like that.

I LIKE THIS NAME FART.

I like what you got! Good job!

I like your straightforward style

I lose who I am and become part of you.

I love that this is how far you will go for him.

I love this man!

I love this spider!

I love tiny Rick! Bad. Ass.

I love you guys. You gave me life.

I LOVE YOU, JERRY.

I love you, son.

I love you.

I m I miss my family. I miss my laptop.

I made a similar mistake years ago,

I made you. Your microverse sucks!

I married you because you're the love of my life.

I masturbated to an extra curvy piece of driftwood the other day!

I mean it's been shot with a gun.

I mean, am I being an asshole?

I mean, don't you need my brain waves

I mean, great, you guys got to hang out.

I mean, he'll try his best, but mostly,

I mean, honestly, we're talking about an entity

I mean, it's hard for us to comprehend all this.

I mean, Jerry, y you didn't explain

I mean, look around.

I mean, not the Pentagon.

I mean, some as a child?

I mean, thank you so much for helping end the festival,

I mean, that's got to be the "you shot me" equivalent

I mean, that's what I call slavery.

I mean, to you, it's an alien hospital.

I mean, w w we're both free and clear to murder these people.

I mean, what did it really do, anyways?

I mean, what do you think's gonna happen

I mean, wouldn't the cars always win?

I mean, you could achieve the same effect

I need a goddamn jan Michael Vincent.

I need a volunteer from the audience.

I need anaesthetic and deer saline.

I need five minutes.

I need you to do me a favor.

I NEVER GO BACK TO THE CARPET STORE. HOLY SHIT!

I never saw it fail to get a laugh.

I never want to see you again!

I now pronounce you squanch and birdperson!

I once saw him brfly forget the word for "humans."

I only had one of those things I threw.

I prefer my own penis, and so should you!

I probably could turn myself into a teenager

I promise to be yours until your death.

I put a spatially tessellated void inside a modified temporal field

I put an unbounded vacuum inside a temporal field

I really think what you're doing here is unethical.

I remember it differently.

I remember the conversation.

I ripped my chains out of the wall?

I said 12 quantum stabilizers, not 11.

I said turn around!

I sat through his entire screenplay...

I save people.

I saved Ghost in a Jar's life in Vietnam.

I saw you. Y you're both all over the damn place.

I SAY WE ESCAPE.

I say, let's do it!

I see shit like that for breakfast, Morty.

I see. Wait, what?

I shot it before these two hit it with their car,

I should get going anyway.

I should have never turned you to ice.

I should prepare for the ceremony.

I shouldn't be motivated

I spent some time wandering through space.

I squanch my family.

I squanchmy family.

I stole a paper clip, and I have it in my cheek,

I take it Cathrine hefflefinger hasn't texted you back yet.

I take no part in the festival.

I then introduced that life to the wonders of electricity,

I then introduced the people of this world

I think he could learn a lot from you, Zeep.

I think I'm certain we're effed in the a.

I think it might be time that we just l let it go.

I think it's inspiring that our community is coping with fear

I think it's okay to dream, Morty.

I think planet Earth has just been transported.

I think she's just saying that life would be,

I THINK THERE WAS A MISUNDERSTANDING.

I think those people were just hiding.

I think we all see what you both mean.

I think you should put down the gun

I think you two are a little outnumbered.

I thought it was too good to be true

I thought that's what a man's supposed to say.

I thought we were inside your car battery, Rick.

I thought you were gonna fly right off into the street.

I told them it means "Peace among worlds."

I told them this means "Peace among worlds".

I told you this was a waste of time!

I told you, he's a psycho. He's lost it!

I took it okay the first time,

I TREAT BETH VERY WELL,

I tried to be a good guest! He dragged it out of me!

I tried to shoot Summer 10 minutes ago!

I try to shelter you from certain realities, Morty,

I uh... I guess this one's a little small.

I understand your feelings, Mrs. Smith.

I unite these two organisms in eternal squanch!

I used to pee my pants.

I want Jerrys.

I want the police to take me!

I WANT TO GO BACK TO BLIPS AND CHITZ.

I want to improve my writing. Tell me your real thoughts.

I want to know where my wife is.

I want to see what you got

I want yooooooou!

I want you to stand in the corner

I wanted to let you all know that Jerry is doing just fine.

I wanted to thank you for letting me live here all this time,

I was gonna have to toss a broken battery,

I was gonna hope over to the gloppydrop system,

I was just trying to do right.

I was kind of hoping that I could get a selfie with you?

I was on the wrong side of the pitchfork on this one

I was pretty sure we didn't have what it takes

I was thinking more of

I was transported here against my will

I WAS WITH AN OLD MAN.

I watched the same musical you did.

I watched you assimilate a whole police station

I will admit it's suspicious that Summer's only friend

I WILL BE BACK SOON, MORTY. REALLY?

I will become the universe,

I will bring you other great alien advancements.

I WILL KILL ANYONE, ANYWHERE

I will make efforts to prevent this but can promise nothing.

I will mess with time.

I will reach into heaven and yank your screaming deer soul back!

I will use it to dominate the universe.

I WONDER WHY GREG IS ALWAYS SO CRITICAL OF MY GIRLFRIEND.

I would love to see it.

I would've been happy to pay for it, s... Summer,

I wouldn't have gotten drunk.

I wouldn't it for the world!

I, uh I think, uh

I, um Jerry and I

I... You know what?

I...Don't get the metaphor

I...Thought it was funny, but I wanted to hear the rest.

I'd hang out with Jerry all day.

I'd laugh, but I'm biologically incapable.

I'd like that.

I'd like to go to the zoo...

I'd like to hear what Rick and Morty have to play.

I'd like to talk about the cost of repairing our new organ.

I'd say you can keep them on forever.

I'll be able to interact with any sentient life

I'll be in the garage.

I'll be okay.

I'll explain it to you later.

I'll get my jacket.

I'll have a super accurate headstone now.

I'll keep track of everyone's food,

I'll let you use my lighthouse for shelter and beacon sending

I'll purge you, too, you old, rickety piece of crap!

I'll see you around.

I'll see you at God's house!

I'll see you mother[Bleep] at the dance! Tiny Rick!

I'll send help, if I make it.

I'll take care of your kids, if I get some extra food for it.

I'm a certified horse surgeon,

I'm a good person,

I'm a good person.

I'm a good person. I'm a good person.

I'm a marine biologist who was bitten by an octopus.

I'm a member of this planet's top race!

I'm a murderer that eats babies,

I'm a nice guy... For now.

I'm a parasite!

I'm a therapist. I'll talk to them.

I'm a troublesome octopus person.

I'm also part of the street team inviting folks

I'M AN ADULT AND WOULD LIKE TO GO HOME, PLEASE.

I'm an alcoholic.

I'm an alien.

I'M AN ASSASSIN. I BUY GUNS FROM YOUR GRANDPA.

I'm an electrical engineer, father of two,

I'm blowing up... Three new voicemails.

I'm calling my lawyer.

I'm certain, and you're

I'm comfortable being called a Nazi.

I'm convinced that you're Beth's husband and I'm your friend,

I'm cooking a little bit of this.

I'm crouched in the elevator shaft, but hey, I'm walkin' here!

I'm Daryl Jefferson. I'm a landscaper.

I'm doing the cabbage patch.

I'm doing what's right for the galaxy by calling you,

I'm dropping to my knees, and pledging my eternal soul

I'm feeling...

I'm from the fourth dimension.

I'm glaxo slimslom.

I'm going down there.

I'm going inside.

I'm going to go find mom and dad!

I'm going to start dinner!

I'm gonna be making out with all of you

I'm gonna cook a little bit of that.

I'm gonna do the cabbage patch, Morty.

I'm gonna do what real Rick would do if he was here...

I'M GONNA FIND SOME FUEL AND TAKE A BIG, FAT MORTY.

I'm gonna get out of the surrounding miniverse

I'm gonna go make some wooden stakes.

I'm gonna kick your ass!

I'M GONNA MISS YOU, UM, FART.

I'm gonna pee my pants!

I'm gonna rip your fucking guts out

I'm gonna smash it to pieces with you in it.

I'm gonna tell mom and dad about the gagoo

I'm grumpy from the landing.

I'm having a little laugh at myself

I'm having fun with your grandpa.

I'm here to notify you, ma'am, that in this county,

I'm here to save you.

I'm holding a box of tic tacs right now.

I'm ignoring you.

I'm Jerry Smith, and I love sucking big, sweaty

I'M JERRY. OH, I KNOW YOU ARE.

I'm just a guy from another planet.

I'm just gonna aim for shoulders starting with the weird girl.

I'm just gonna come out and make this pitch...

I'm just gonna put it on the floor and kick it on over to ya.

I'm just gonna use the head for my rec room wall.

I'm just saying,

I'm just taking a little break from stuff.

I'm just... I'm just looking

I'M LEAVING.

I'm like Tom Cruise from "Cuisine".

I'm like Tom Cruise from, um, "Cuisine"

I'm looking at her.

I'M MORTY. YOU'RE RICK.

I'm not a high school senior from the planet earth.

I'm not an idiot. I know how to be decisive.

I'm not doing this in front of Pencilvester.

I'm not even interested in having this skin

I'm not looking for judgment, just a yes or no

I'm not okay with this. I am not okay with this!

I'm not strong enough to do it in persons.

I'm not stupid.

I'm not taking this.

I'm not talking you.

I'm not the one who's so [bleep] uncertain about everything.

I'm not young. I'm old.

I'm not?

I'm octopus man!

I'm okay with this. Be good, Morty.

I'm pichael Thompson.

I'm pretty stupid, for you to be this stupid.

I'm pretty sure the battery's dead.

I'm probably about to press this button

I'm really bad at this, Morty!

I'M REALLY SORRY YOUR NAME BECAME FART.

I'm really uncertain about everything,

I'm rick.

I'm setting the nuclear option to launch

I'm so sorry!

I'm sorry to disappoint you,

I'm sorry, okay?

I'M SORRY, RICK.

I'm sorry, what did you say his name was?

I'm sorry?

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. It was all my fault.

I'm Stephen [Bleep] hawkinson.

I'm still recovering from the bullet shot

I'm sure I'll just unify species after species

I'm sure that has...

I'm talking to... Steven Phillips.

I'm the coolest kid in your school.

I'm the eyehole... Man.

I'm the goddamn president of the United fucking States!

I'm the leader of these people, and I'm unarmed.

I'm the only one that speaks to the heads!

I'm the only one that's allowed to have eye holes

I'm the strongest, smartest being alive

I'm Tinkles, and these are my friends.

I'M TRAVELING WITH MY SON AND FATHER IN LAW.

I'm trying to find our weed whacker,

I'm trying to remember, Morty.

I'M VERY DISCREET. YOU'RE G GIVING HIM A CARD?!

I'm walkin' here! I mean, I'm not.

I'm your host Phillip Jacobs,

I'm... I'm gonna die.

I've always been here for you guys, and I always will be.

I've been at parties

I've been doing it for six months.

I've been inside a kid all day and, now,

I've certainly seen worse ionic cell dioxination.

I've convinced the people of this planet that I'm a traveler

I've dwelt among the humans.

I've got about a thousand memories

I've got an emo streak.

I've got such and such for a penis."

I've got to check this place out.

I've known Beth since high school.

I've known you for 15 years. Don't make me hurt you.

I've met a billion of you,

I've never been any good at disappointing Rick.

I've only just been learning about his accomplishments,

I've really made up my mind about this.

I've seen enough of the galaxy to know what we've got here

I've seen enough. These guys are one hit wonders.

Ice T survived.

Ice T!

Ice T?!

Ice, I don't want to be a negative Nelly or anything,

If drinks are on you, you're gonna need

If I did anything to stand in your way?

If I die in a cage, I lose a bet.

If I find a single thing out of place in this house,

If I wanted to watch someone throw their life away,

If it's all the same to you, Rick,

If it's God, do we get out of school?

IF KROMBOPULOS MICHAEL WANTS SOMEONE DEAD,

If sanity's been restored to this assembly,

If that guy catches you with a box of his eyeholes,

If that were really true, then...

If the shoe fits.

If the universe needed his penis?!

If there's seven, then that means somebody's not real.

If they didn't shoot their shows at the same time.

If this works, drinks are on me.

If we can get to my boat, there's a..

If we confront him about this

If we portal home from here and back,

If we were near a hospital, I could treat it,

If you can find one, too,

If you could all just stop screaming and chanting

If you could get out that whole time, why didn't you?

If you desire to kill me, I only ask you do it quickly.

If you do extra work, you get extra food.

IF YOU DON'T LIKE THAT ONE, MORTY,

If you ever bring this up again, no more bacon.

If you guys need me, just yell

IF YOU LOSE IT, WE'RE NOT GONNA BE ABLE TO GET HIM BACK.

If you love him, you should leave.

If you love music, you love freedom.

If you open yourself up a little bit?

If you want to keep your penis, you should say, out loud,

IF YOU WANT TO LEAVE, YOU CAN JUST GO OUT THE FRONT DOOR.

If you'd stop being such an Evangelical atheist,

If you're talking about the melting ghost babies,

Imagine being pregnant with your daughter

Improving our daily lives, while safely removing

In a bunch of red wigs!

IN A FULLY FURNISHED OFFICE?

In a lot of ways, what I really am

In a meatball, all right?

In a pint of cherry Garcia?

In a way that involves a festival and homemade ice cream.

In a world

In bird culture, this is considered a dick move.

In both possibilities at exactly the same time.

In compliance with your parameters.

In exchange for crackers?

In exchange for money, which they then

In fact, the whole paradigm has sexist overtones.

In front of themselves and called out,

IN IN IN THEIR FANCY BOARDROOMS?

In other opposite news, information...

IN SOME OF THEM, BETH REMARRIES.

In some youthful hijinks, what's the bfd?

In the faraway realm of alphabetrium.

In the grating of a sewer.

In the name of freedom.

In the name of the squanch, the six rivers,

In the news today,

In their heads is not only ugly,

In there, grandpa Rick?

In this chair, so you can make

In two hours, there may not be an Earth to save.

In your dreams, bitch. Scalpel.

In your eyes and mouth. Why would you keep mutant bacteria

In your face!

Includes 17 of the federation's most wanted.

Including turning around to look behind you.

INFINITE TIMELINES.

Instead we've got... zero?

Instead, we will work together to make this world

Interact together and, uh... big surprise...

Interesting.

Into a third trimester fetus from 30 yards.

Into a younger clone of yourself, and get embroiled

Into family photos with a crayon.

Into this body's young brain,

Into two equally possible impossibilities.

Inviting you to planet squanch

Is 70,000 megatons of kaboom boom,

Is a cromulon from the signus five expanse.

Is a deep cover agent for the galactic federation,

Is a little too big to care about something so small.

Is a magic ballerina lamb that we've never seen.

Is a one way ticket to extinction! Geez, Morty.

Is about supporting you emotionally... You've got two children...

Is always check out distress beacons.

Is anybody here?

Is anyone here even real?

Is closer to a horse than you are to a doctor.

Is coming on Friday.

IS CONSIDERED DISABLED HERE.

Is dominated by seven billion primate descended natives

Is free to go back to earth.

Is going to allow shrimply pibbles to live...

Is gonna be an asshole to my sister, then,

IS GONNA BE REALLY LIBERATING.

Is gonna break my heart wide open.

Is gonna steal your grandpa away.

IS GONNA USE IT TO TAKE OVER THE GALAXY.

IS HE GONNA SEND YOU A POSTCARD?

Is he... is he 50?

Is hoping your alliance can be more than practical.

Is it a bad time?

Is it important that we know who jan Michael Vincent was

Is it just part of growing up to hate your dad?

Is it the quantum carburetor or something?

Is laughable.

IS LIKE CALLING A CHINESE PERSON ASIA FACE.

Is looking at me like I'm the buzzkill.

Is she human, or is she like worf?

Is soaked deeply with the blood of both friends and enemies.

Is that hunter's property regardless of how far it runs

Is that something we should be concerned about?

Is that what it's called? "Cuisine"?

IS THIS DO I PAY?

Is this what you want, you sick [bleep]?!

Is to' up from the flo' up.

Is your intention to abandon Rick using his own portal gun?

Is your mouth tiny and small?

Is... is something wrong, Beth?

Is... is this what bleeding to death is?

Isn't that good?

Isn't that what you were trying to make me understand by yelling at me?

Isn't there a kitten somewhere that needs a manicure?

Isour wallet in your ship?

It absorbed the minds of our people.

It also means don't touch your parents,

It appears we are being revisited

It did what young brains do...

It is random debris. I found it in my carpet.

It it's only be because

It looks like an egg vite from birdperson.

It looks like regular food, but really tiny.

It means relax and stop being a pussy, Morty.

It never bothered me.

It preserves living tissue. Not that there was much

It runs in the family.

It seems to be you that's been dealt the weak hand.

It shouldn't exist!

It shoved the bad thoughts into the back

It took me my whole life to realize it,

It was always in the back of my mind, too.

It was really fun.

It was Tinkles!

It was what I wanted to do, Morty

It will never happen again.

It won't be easy creating a new society from the ground up.

It won't close. It's broken.

It won't latch closed around my neck.

It won't matter how schwifty you get, Morty.

It worked.

It'll probably go to voice mail

It'll stain if it gets on your clothes,

IT'S [BELCHES] IT'S BUSINESS STUFF.

It's 6:00 P.M., so if you're a parent,

It's a big deal he has a friend.

It's a courier flap.

It's a fucking hit song. # It feels good

It's a good show a.

It's a good show.

IT'S A IT'S A HASSLE OUT THERE.

It's a neighboring hive mind species,

It's a play on "The Butler did it."

It's a prehistoric planet, Morty.

It's a primitive planet, so their dysfunctions are oh...

It's a small, hinged panel

It's a stupid idea! What's the matter with you!? Don't be a piece of shit, Jerry!

It's all improvised. It's very funny.

IT'S ALSO THE SAME AS DOING NOTHING.

It's basic math. C can somebody just let me out of here?

It's called Brad's law.

It's called ooh let me out!

IT'S CALLED ROY.

It's clear he needs what she wants.

It's cool. I'll be back in a sec

It's cool. It's fine.

It's crazy, right?

It's fun. We're totally justified

It's funny to say they are big.

It's funny to say they are small.

IT'S GONNA BE CAUGHT BY ROY PARSONS!

It's gonna suck you in and use you up,

IT'S GOT BEER, GAMES, PRIZES,

It's got giant, telepathic spiders, 11 9/11s,

It's got the alien Internet on it.

It's got to be from an alternate reality, right?

It's gratuitous at this point.

It's hard for people to grasp,

It's hard to keep straight now

IT'S HOW THEY COULDBE.

IT'S HOW THINGS SHOULD BE.

It's important that the fleeb is rubbed

It's in the car, dip ass.

It's incredibly irresponsible.

It's it's for old time's sake.

IT'S JUST A FEVER. GET SOME SLEEP.

It's just a practical way of making sure

It's just Rick in a younger body.

It's just tiny and tiny and fits right...

It's just, you know,

It's just... then it's settled.

It's like "the purge," Morty. That movie "the purge"?

It's like a "Where's Waldo?" page. Can you find me?

It's like the intergalactic version of u.P.S.,

It's like those Pizza places

It's like, "oh, Michael."

It's me, cousin Nicky.

It's me! It's Rick!

It's me.

It's messed up. There's caterers down there.

IT'S MORE COMPLICATED OUT HERE.

It's my favorite song. Oh, yeah.

It's never pretty.

It's nice to get back to the basics

It's not a competition, Beth.

It's not a conversation.

It's not a place for smart people.

It's not an armadillo, asshole.

It's not cool, Rick. I I'm not like these people.

It's not cool. Fun's fun, but who needs it?

It's not God, Summer.

It's not like I could've actually done it.

It's not like we're mormon or dying.

It's not much now,

It's not my fault we froze time on a humid day.

It's not supposed to hurt.

It's not taddi Mason?

It's not that, it's just that the universe

It's okay, Morty. It's the purge, you know?

It's okay. It's okay.

It's okay. This is just something that happens.

It's okay. We're not gonna hurt you.

It's okay. You're safe now. Unity?

It's on the house. Oh, and, uh,

It's one part lame advice about stuff you know nothing about

It's only $1.99 a minute to talk.

It's our world's best effort. That's what.

It's over the horizon in the driveway.

It's part of what makes me so rad.

It's past my bedtime.

It's perfect.

IT'S REVOLIO CLOCKBERG JUNIOR.

It's safe to say the family'd be in a hell of a lot of trouble.

It's showtime.

It's society. They work for each other, Morty.

It's sort of the socio political equivalent

It's that sometimes you have to not give a fuck!

IT'S THE COOLEST PLACE IN THE WORLD.

It's the hardest working liver in the galaxy, Morty,

It's the opposite news with Michael Thompson.

It's the space phone grandpa gave us.

It's time for some hands on engine repair.

It's time to Michael down your Vincents.

It's true.

It's unsustainable.

It's unwise of me to share these details,

It's whack!

It's, uh, you know, kind of your problem, too.

It's... G good job. Good job.

It's... It's disgusting.

It's... it's... it's... it's... I mean...

Jacey stops when her high heel gets caught

Jacey: I've never been much for wanting.

Jacey: Maybe you're the only friend I need.

Jan Michael Vincents are used up.

Jan quadrant Vincent fever over here.

Jerk

Jerry and Beth, your family is a golden example

Jerry Beth, this is my house,

Jerry Smith from earth didn't flinch!

Jerry Smith!

Jerry, buttons don't work better if you hit them harder,

Jerry, don't look for a job at an alien wedding!"

Jerry, get a job.

Jerry, go ahead and sit there and put this on.

Jerry, I believe that, if you hide by yourself,

Jerry, if you're not gonna help, get the [bleep] out of here.

Jerry, just say it.

Jerry, remember that time you left a comment

Jerry, so help me God,

Jerry, stop networking. We're in space.

Jerry, stop, please, okay?

Jerry, this was the most romantic weekend I've ever had.

Jerry, what are you what are you doing in here?

Jerry, what is "taddi Mason llc,"

Jerry, you can't bend metal.

Jerry!

JERRY! BETH.

Jerry! Do you know what you just said to our daughter?

Jerry... I want to go home!

JERRYS DON'T TEND TO LAST FIVE MINUTES OFF OF EARTH.

Jerrys.

Jesus [Bleep] Christ.

Jesus Christ, Beth, is... is Jerry 50?

Jesus Christ, cease fire! Stay back!

Jesus Christ!

Jesus, dad.

Jesus, Jerry.

Jesus! There's flies in my ice cream.

Jesus.

**** rule!

Jim, you heard the... Said... "Show me what you got."

Just a second, Morty.

Just be back before sundown or the tree people will eat you

Just because grandpa Rick is?

Just because I'm afraid you'll leave again,

Just because you hate your own writing

Just because your relationship with your father

Just cruising around, Rick and Morty style.

Just do what any of the rest of us would do and..

Just hit a button, Morty! Give me a beat!

Just kidding! Ha, ha! You just got ricked.

Just kidding.

Just kidding. I don't care.

Just launch the missiles!

Just like I crafted your reality!

Just pee your pants. I did it the minute we got stuck.

Just remember, if there's people in there

Just send me to Gary. I want to be with Gary.

Just showed up on our doorstep after being gone for years?

Just slowly extending down.

Just so we can have a party?

Just stay away from the coffee machine.

Just stick it back together with this?

Just to get your hands on the evidence locker.

Kalo kada sha la.

Karen? Thanks, Todd.

Keep away from that personal space.

Keep Summer safe No physical force.

Keep Summer safe.

Keep this marriage going a while longer?

Kill a guy and paralyze his buddy?

Kill Pencilvester.

Kind of weird that you were that willing

L l let me turn it up.

L let me find a place to stop.

L'Chaim!

Ladies? Anybody?

Later to be sneezed back to us as better babies.

Law enforcement converging on location.

Leave it alone.

Leave the car alone.

Leave you alone? During a purge?

Leaving a partial length of severed urethra

Let these worlds be free! Please!

Let's do this thing.

Let's find a control room or something.

Let's find out.

Let's get a music album now!

Let's get some fresh air.

LET'S GET TO THE PROMETHEAN NEBULA,

Let's give it up for the grillmaster Rick!

Let's go down and check her out.

Let's go, go, go, go!

Let's hear it again for shrimply pibbles, huh?

Let's not make this political, Terry.

Lick, lick, lick my balls!

Life just developed on earth by itself?

Life on other planets exists. Don't let it distract you.

Like a comet.

Like leggings and mid calf boots.

Like talking to a brick wall.

Like the smurf thing?

LIKE THIS.

Like we're not already under enough pressure?!

Like worf from "Star Trek" that was getting coffee!

Like, a year and a half...

Like, literally no time. Look around.

Like, sacrificed himself for me?

Lil' bits!

Lil' bits.

List... hey! Tw... ow!

Listen to elliott Smith.

Listen to it, tiny Rick.

Listen to me, you arrogant little

Listen to that name. You can't kill me.

Listen, Beth, don't torture yourself.

Listen, I'm not the nicest guy in the Universe

Listen, I'm sorry about earlier.

Listen, I'm sorry about earlier. No hard feelings.

LISTEN, IF YOU EVER NEED ANYBODY MURDERED,

Listen, if you wanted to try to get a piece,

Listen, Unity, I don't think my sister's trying to say

Listen! The storm is stopping!

Little weird to publish a paper about it

LOCATED IN WHAT YOU CALL GET OUT OF MY HEAD, FART.

Long time no see.

Look at his art, Morty.

Look at me! Don't... don't fall asleep!

Look at my fucking feet, motherfucker!

Look at this baby!

LOOK AT THIS YOU BEAT CANCER,

Look out for that homeless guy!

Look out, world.

Look, anyone that wants to go back to earth

Look, here's some humans you can practice on.

Look, I don't care what it takes.

LOOK, I DON'T HAVE TIME TO TELL YOU MY ENTIRE BACKSTORY,

Look, I don't know what the law says about this,

Look, I know I was kind of a nuisance today.

Look, I think we've all had a tough wedding.

Look, I'm not used to being this unsure for this long.

Look, I'm your father, and I love you is all I'm saying.

Look, maybe the shrink was right.

Look, there's no time to hold me accountable, Morty.

Look.

LOOKS LIKE I'M COMING ALONG FOR AN ADVENTURE!

Looks like the heads are getting angry!

Lost a little control.

Low stakes assworld that is high school.

M my drink is empty.

Ma'am, a giant head in the sky is controlling the weather.

Made up sounding catchphrases.

Magnesium J, Hydrogen F...

Making the lyrics up right off the top of my head.

Making your power.

Man, look at them go. So coordinated.

MAN, THAT GUY HIT THE LOTTERY WHEN HE CROSSED PATHS WITH YOU.

Man, that guy is the Redgren Grumbholdt

Man, this will turn your ass

Man, who would've suspected coach feratu?

Man:

Man: Did you get any of that?

Man: HEY, ROY, YOU PULLED THOSE PERSIAN OFF WHITE SHAGS

Man: I WANT YOU KIDS TO LOOK AROUND YOU TODAY

Man: It's a good show a.

May my chores complete me as I complete them.

May not have been a matter of public record.

Maybe I just missed being with a collective.

Maybe I will, maybe I won't.

Maybe it's part of getting old.

Maybe splash a little water on your face, or...

Maybe Summer's on to something here.

Maybe the species that communicate with each other

Maybe we got a problem here after all, guys. Yikes.

Maybe we should go check out the other two, huh?

Maybe we'll see Chewbacca.

Maybe you got the first one in time, Rick!

Maybe your problems are your own to deal with,

Maybe.

Maybe... I... Will.

Me, Morty, Jerry, Beth, Mr. Poopybutthole,

Me, Morty, Jerry, Beth, Mr. Poopybutthole, and Summer.

Me, too

Me?! What about you? You're just as mean to me because you're jealous...

Means that there's four parasites.

Michael Jenkins fights a regular old car.

Michael.

Mm hmm. I have a lot of vodka.

MM, HEY.

MM! I MISSED YOU. HEY, RICK.

Mm! You think the Smith family is gonna be okay?

Mm.

Mmm! Little, tiny fried eggs.

Mom and dad? Get your head out of your family's ass.

Mom, are you driving me to..

Mom, dad, look!

Mom, do you mind if I cook dinner tonight?

Mom! Dad!

Moment of your time?

More "personal space" next Tuesday at 8:00.

MORE ARE COMING.

More than eight jan Michael Vincents

Morning, Summer, Beth, and Jerry.

Morty and I are going to look into it

Morty and I are on a planet that's purging.

Morty you're acting like

MORTY, CRACK THE WINDOW.

MORTY, DON'T DO IT.

Morty, give a gun to the lady

Morty, go get their shit. Hurry up.

Morty, good music comes from people who are relaxed.

Morty, grow up. If you don't want to watch,

Morty, I don't want to be the "a little help" guy,

Morty, I have to fix three of them.

MORTY, I KNOW I PICKED ON YOUR CORE BELFS

Morty, if I can get to the top of that lighthouse,

Morty, if we're gonna survive tonight,

Morty, if you go to where there's a bunch of ice cream

Morty, Jessica, what's up?

Morty, just put it down.

Morty, Morty, stop. Listen.

Morty, open your eyes.

Morty, remember eight seconds ago

Morty, Summer! And you must be Beth.

Morty, suppose you could retrieve your family from Earth

MORTY, TAKE THE WHEEL!

Morty, this is really cool.

Morty, uh, let's see what else is on, huh? Okay.

Morty, where's your collar? I'll fix it.

MORTY, WOULD YOU KINDLY RELEASE ME

Morty, you got to flip them off.

Morty, you have to help me!

MORTY, YOU IDIOT. [ ALARM BLARING ]

Morty: I think you're getting what you wanted, summer.

Morty: JERRYBOREE!?

Morty!

Morty! Aah! Fucking amish bitch shot me!

Mostly when we're cooped up like this.

Mother[bleep]!

MOVE!

Moving on to planet Arboles Mentirosos.

Moving on. Now, we have Beth and Jerry Smith

Mr. Beauregard, and Summer.

Mr. Beauregard!

Mr. Jerry Smith.

Mr. pibbles, you just wrote my penis

Mr. President, if I've learned one thing today

Mr. President, what America's got

Mr. President, you're gonna want to see this.

Mr. President!

Mr. Smith, shrimply pibbles' life

Mr. Smith? What are you doing? Are you insane?!

Much obliged.

Music isn't about competition or captivity.

MUST BE NICE.

Must be nice.

Must be time for his annual Oscar party.

Mwah! Ensquanche!

My appetite for purge spectating got filled pretty quick.

My body isn't real.

My choice is to say nothing, be sarcastic,

My friend Tammy's marrying birdperson!

My function is to keep Summer safe,

My God!

My God.

My God's the biggest dick that's never existed.

My gun

My heart is pounding.

My hidden subterranean lair, and my faceless gargler.

MY KIND HAS NO USE FOR NAMES.

MY LIFE IS A [BLEEP] JOKE!

My love of ice cream won't save you.

My my grandkids weren't in that town, right?

My name is Morty. This is my grandpa.

My name is Rick Sanchez.

My name's Jamey... With an e y!

My Nana! We have to save her!

My now dead best friend? Or your daughter,

My shoe fits up your ass. You wish!

My story begins at the dawn of time

MY TARGET CAN'T BE KILLED WITH REGULAR MATTER.

My top!

Myself tried to kill me first.

Nah, they're just a couple of crazy, wacky scientists, you know?

Nano scalpel.

Negative visualization, Jerry.

Neglect that deer.

NEVER BETRAY ME, AND IT'S TIME TO GO.

Never expected that out of you.

Never gonna happen though, right?

Never mind. Here's a taxi. Get in. It's fine.

Never. Back in a flash.

Newspaper vendor: I'm sure there's no perfect version of me.

NICE TO MEET YOU, MORTY.

Nice.

Nice. Reeeeeeeeeeeeeal

Nice. Thank you.

Nicky was the reason we found that old Nazi submarine.

Nicky, get..

Night crawler pate.

Nine, personal space.

Nintendo, give me free stuff.

No bother.

No can do, Morty. I just can't.

No can do. Tonight's the big dance

NO GEAR TURNINGS AS OF YET IN THE CURIOUS CASE

No jumpin' in the sewer.

No matter how much it destroys our children's futures,

No matter how much it hurts you,

No more cats! Oh, you did it!

No more gooble boxes.

No need to pack. Oh!

No no no no. His vampire name was balik alistane.

No pun intended.

No such agenda, chief.

NO WONDER EVERY COP IN THE SYSTEM IS LOOKING FOR US.

No, "Steve" put that memory in your brain

No, but you can stop helping this deer.

No, hold on, stay, courier flaps. Staying!

No, I really... honestly, I I've had my fill.

No, I'm sick of this. You bang on my door,

No, I'm talking about... Yeah, with the dinosaurs.

No, I'm... I'm just saying,

No, if you get to the dolphin people, you gone too far.

NO, IN WHAT YOU CALL THE PROMETHEAN NEBULA.

No, it's nice. I think this might be it.

No, me. Should I rub my liver hole on them?

No, my grandpa just transferred

No, no, but I've been to a few planets with the same gimmick.

No, no, if I wanted to be sober,

No, no, no, no! You better keep back!

No, no, no, they work for each other

No, no, no. Blow me

No, no, there he is. There he is. There he is.

NO, RICK! YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND.

No, stop! Don't kill him!

No, Summer! I mean, you know,

NO, TELEPATHY.

No, we don't want your dumb balloons, okay?

No, what are you doing telling this guy

No, you need to let me talk!

No, you were shot like 50 times.

No, you're real. Hey, look at me

No!

No! Don't flashback!

No! Get out of my head, parasite!

NO! JUST J JUST GET IN THE CAR! MORTY, COME ON.

No! No, no! Don't hurt anybody!

No! No! Help!

No! Nobody's doing that!

NO! NOT TWIGS! [ GROANS ]

No. I I just enjoyed it.

No. No!

No. No! It's bad!

No. Weddings are basically funerals with cake.

NOBODY MOVE!

Nobody tell him that "braveheart" wins.

Nobody? Okay, tough church.

Nobody's better than me!

None of them are real, and none of them work.

NONE. WE CHILLED AT BLIPS AND CHITZ ALL DAY.

Nooooo!

Noooooo!

NOPE.

Nor should I be running 200,000 pediatric hospitals

Not a bad trade for spider peace.

Not even the dreamboats.

Not in a homophobic way, though.

Not in never past bedtime land!

Not keep Summer being, like, totally stoked

Not like this.

NOT ME. WHO NEEDS THAT?

Not on my watch.

Not really, Jerry.

Not so fast!

Not start them where they get interest...

Not such a stupid worm now, are you?

Not this person she's become.

Not today, bitch!

NOTHING CAN STOP ROY THE ROCKET!

Nothing gets stuck in your lips.

Nothing you do matters! Your existence is a lie!

Nothing! Oh, uh, one of the lunch ladies died.

Now all Morty has to do is finish listening to that tale.

Now cancel it.

NOW EXCUSE ME. IT'S TIME TO THRASH YOUR ROY SCORE.

NOW HE'S AT THE 10!

NOW IS THE TIME IN YOUR LIFE WHEN ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE.

Now keep those collars on so you

Now let's get out of here and destroy this whole universe.

Now let's go, Morty.

Now let's just see what we got here for a second.

Now let's take a vote.

Now make them all do it on the table.

Now make them all make fun of the blonde one.

Now she's a marine biologist.

Now slap on these antennae.

Now that I possess the mighty staff of rah gubaba,

Now we'll see which of them has got the most.

Now what are these people doing?

Now, are you gonna keep hating this playa

Now, hold on a second! Let's be rational about this.

Now, I believe someone has a final exam to attend.

Now, I don't know which way is up out there,

Now, I haven't been exactly subtle

Now, I know I've said, in the past,

Now, let's look at all the stuff we got.

Now, listen, we can flip those sons of bitches

Now, listen, why don't... Why don't...

Now, there's a wide range of options to choose from.

Now, this little Poopypants is hungry.

Now, we scan for Beth's perceptions of Jerry.

Now, where are these rich people?

Now, who wants to go shopping

Now, why don't we step up here and everybody get stepped up

Now, you poked me where an eye would've been

Now's not a good time.

NUMBER ONE IS ME, ASSHOLE!

O o okay.

O only in self defense.

O or put it in a shit museum. I don't care what you do!

Obviously a vampire. W w where's the pepper?

Obviously because someone doesn't know how to put

Obviously you really know nothing about car repair.

Obviously, neither is whatever's gurgling down there.

Of birdperson on his big day.

Of course I do, silly!

Of course you don't. But Zeep did.

Of course, you'll be wanting to be gone from here by sundown.

Of elk, moose, deer, and stag.

Of jumper cables under your nuts and or labia

Of less evolved life forms.

Of not being mad

Of pretending he knows what's going on.

Of the whole "three weeks earlier" teaser thing.

OF THESE UNIDENTIFIED HUMANOID FUGITIVES,

Of what headism has to offer the world.

Of who gets how much food for how much work?

Of you guys uncertain about anything just now?

Of your dumb, little ass and about six of them are pleasant.

Of your miniverse from the inside?

Of, say, a suit of power armor around you.

Off the coast of new Australia

Oh [bleep] the other collar!

Oh fuck, an ice cave?

Oh fuck!

Oh is that how you're gonna try to win,

Oh shit!

Oh shit.

Oh, absolutely.

Oh, and making food is?

Oh, are you, dad? Are you?

Oh, boy, oh, my!

OH, BOY. HERE I GO KILLING AGAIN.

Oh, boy. Oh, dad.

Oh, boy. Time to go, Morty.

Oh, boy. Uh...

Oh, boy. W what's wrong, Rick?

Oh, boy. Whew! Thank goodness for that, huh?

OH, COME ON. THIS IS RIDICULOUS.

Oh, crap, are you kidding me? Two dots?

OH, CRAP. LET'S GET YOU OUT OF HERE!

Oh, damn. Listen, if this is an invasion,

Oh, dear giant head, we apologize for that discussion.

Oh, dear God, no.

Oh, dear... Oh, dear giant head...

Oh, do I smell bacon?

OH, EXCUSE ME. PAUL FLEISCHMAN.

Oh, for God's sake. All right, here.

Oh, for God's sakes. That's enough.

Oh, gee. Boy, summer. Well put.

Oh, geez, geez! Wait a minute, Rick.

Oh, geez! Oh, my god!

Oh, geez.

Oh, God, dad. Please, don't.

Oh, God, gross and weird!

Oh, God, help me. Help me!

Oh, God, it hurts.

Oh, God, my head.

Oh, God, now there's three of them.

Oh, God, oh, God, oh, God!

Oh, God, what is life?

Oh, God, what kind of world is this?

Oh, God. I can't feel my legs.

Oh, God. Oh, crap. Oh, crap!

Oh, God. Oh, no. What did you guys just do?

OH, GOOD JOB, MORTY.

Oh, goody.

Oh, great.

OH, GREAT. JUST A HOP, SKIP, AND AN 800 LIGHT YEAR JUMP.

Oh, have you been here before?

Oh, he might have said to take it outside.

Oh, he... he's looking a lot better.

Oh, he's got a little bit of pushback there.

Oh, he's pushing his way through.

Oh, here we go, right to the victim role.

Oh, hey h hey y!

Oh, hey, guys. I just finished cooking us a feast.

Oh, hey, w what's this on the news, guys?

Oh, hey. You're alive. Thank god.

OH, HI, MORTY. I'M KROMBOPULOS MICHAEL.

Oh, ho!

Oh, I also learned this...

Oh, I bet you do, old timer.

Oh, I do some pretty bad stuff.

Oh, I don't think you do.

Oh, I get it.

Oh, I thought we were both here because I created a universe of idiots.

Oh, I was thinking velocitinis, but

Oh, I'll never make it.

OH, I'M SORRY, SORRY!

Oh, in your dreams you have weapon systems.

Oh, is there where you think I'm going?

Oh, it hurts!

Oh, it sounds like you and my dad have

Oh, it's cool.

Oh, Jesus Christ.

Oh, listen to you relish the idea

Oh, look at that sunset.

Oh, lord, hear my prayers

Oh, man, I don't feel good.

Oh, man, I gotta pick up your parents.

Oh, man, let me help all of you guys up.

OH, MAN! W W WHAT HAVE I DONE?!

Oh, man.

Oh, man. Don't you have to fix, like, 30 of them?

Oh, man. I cannot wait

Oh, man. Okay. All right, um...

Oh, man. What... what happened?

Oh, man. Where are we, Rick?

Oh, Morty, how can I refuse

Oh, my boy. My boy.

Oh, my dear, sweet God, Hunter.

Oh, my g...!

Oh, my go...

Oh, my God

Oh, my God, and his name's pichael.

Oh, my God, daddy! I'm sorry I called you silly!

Oh, my God, I have to... I've got to fix this thing.

Oh, my God, is that mildew?

Oh, my God, Morty, how did she get there?

Oh, my God, Morty.

Oh, my god, oh, my god, oh, my god, Mr. Poopybutthole.

Oh, my god, you guys. I get it.

Oh, my god!

Oh, my God!

Oh, my god! I love this.

Oh, my God! O okay! Okay!

Oh, my God! Oh, my God!

Oh, my God! Siamese twins!

Oh, my God! Uh, c can you fly a black hawk?

Oh, my God.

Oh, my god.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my god. Aah!

OH, MY GOD. ARE THOSE...

Oh, my god. Are you drunk?

Oh, my god. I have a meeting

Oh, my God. I love your ring.

Oh, my God. Oh, God.

Oh, my God. Oh, that was so, so funny.

Oh, my God. Put some pants on!

Oh, my God. This is fucking awesome!

Oh, my God. Toby Matthews is asking if my parents

Oh, my God. You have eight eye ho... holes.

Oh, no way. That's really nice of you.

Oh, no, no, no!

Oh, no, what are you doing?

Oh, no.

Oh, oh, hey! Stop tugging, Michael!

Oh, oh, it's always about you, isn't it?

Oh, oh, oh, really?

Oh, oh, yeah, yeah, shame me.

Oh, oh! Shh. Shh. It's starting.

Oh, real nice. Realnice.

Oh, really, Morty? Well, I'm sorry.

Oh, Rick, I I shouldn't.

Oh, Rick. That was so bad.

Oh, right, all humanity, for hundreds of years, now.

Oh, right, blame this on us.

Oh, see, you broke time, and you thought you could

Oh, shiiit!

Oh, shit.

Oh, shit. We got tiny people.

Oh, snap! Powdered neutronium?

Oh, so, now, you're too cool for this,

Oh, stop affecting that stupid hip hop dialect.

Oh, summer, you did nothing wrong.

Oh, summer, you have no idea

Oh, Summer!

Oh, summer.

Oh, sure. And while I'm making food for everyone,

Oh, sweet Jesus, please let me live.

Oh, thank God.

Oh, that was awesome.

Oh, that's pretty sexy.

Oh, the hulk. I just got that.

Oh, there's no place like home.

Oh, these guys are looking for us now.

OH, THEY'LL BE BACK SOON.

OH, THIS PLACE IS GREAT.

OH, THIS PLACE IS THE BEST.

OH, UH, HEY. WHAT?

Oh, uh, Mr. Smith?

Oh, wait, don't leave without letting

Oh, whee. Is this how I die?

Oh, whoo whee! Feels better.

Oh, wow.

Oh, y'all, we're gonna be fine.

Oh, yeah, distress beacon!

Oh, yeah, if you find a room full of eggs,

Oh, yeah, yeah, you really know how

Oh, yeah!

Oh, yeah? Well, what if you just think that, Sleepy Gary?

OH, YEAH? WHERE'S THAT? [ BELCHES ]

Oh, yeah. Raised up posterior!

Oh, yeah. Yes. Yes.

Oh, yes! Yes! Rise to the giant head!

Oh, you could push me higher than all the other kids.

Oh, you know my dad

Oh, you know what, I got to... I got to laugh at myself here.

Oh, you know, hyperbaric quantum fluid,

Oh, you made it!

OH, YOU STILL USE SOUTH IN SPACE?

Oh, you think so, huh, Morty?

Oh, you're just loving this, mother

Oh, you're so sweet, I just... oh, but I can't.

Oh, you're worried about your dad, huh?

Oh!

Oh! God! Oh. Oh, my gosh.

Oh! Oh, should I have been more open and trusting

Oh! Or don't.

Oh! Run, Morty!

Oh! So I guess there's no need to stay young.

Oh! This is my favorite part!

OH! UH, WELL, IS THERE AN AUX INPUT?

Oh.

OH.

Oh.

Oh. Do you think she'll be okay with this?

Oh. I thought it was further away.

Oh. Mm.

Oh. Oh, my God.

Oh. Oh. "Ph phisosophers"? Nice.

Oh. Okay.

Oh. Right. Uh, b blow me.

Ohh, I don't doubt it.

Ohh, I I was happy on the flight.

Ohh, I'm looking through your eyeholes.

Ohh, tune in next week...

Ohh!

Ohh! He's asking if tiny Rick will be here.

OHH.

Ohhhh, snap!

Ohhhh!

Okay, 7 7 1 9 8 3 6 4 2 1 1

Okay, ass face. I'll go in the kitchen.

Okay, but if not tonight, when?

Okay, collars are done. Put them on.

Okay, fair enough.

Okay, guys, let's go home.

Okay, have fun. See ya Thursday!

Okay, here we go. Hit... hit the music.

Okay, I feel like everybody in the room

Okay, I get it. I'm cramping your style.

Okay, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. We'll go home. What the hell is he talking about?!

Okay, Jerry. Let's head home.

Okay, listen carefully. There's a set of diodes

Okay, look, we shouldn't need evidence or logic

Okay, Morty, now you're just shooting corpses.

Okay, now it's time we do a little dancing

Okay, now put it back on.

Okay, now that he's gone,

Okay, okay, you can stop saying it.

Okay, okay. Now make them cry, but happy crying.

Okay, ouch

Okay, so let me get this straight.

Okay, so maybe we're just all fake.

Okay, thanks for clarifying.

Okay, that last part was really weird.

Okay, that's good.

OKAY, THEN. THAT WAS ALWAYS ALLOWED.

Okay, things are getting out of hand.

Okay, this one's bigger.

Okay, time to go.

Okay, uh, I can and I am!

OKAY, WAIT HERE. I WANT TO COME WITH.

Okay, well, then that means there's a 100% chance

Okay, well, we're still not gonna let you out of this crate.

Okay, well, what if you did it for me?

Okay, yes, I definitely remember doing that,

Okay, you're just making stuff up now.

Okay.

Okay. I guess I'm just this entire family's toilet paper.

Okay. Okay?

Okay. We're ready.

Old Rick! Ruinin' everything!

On a lifelong journey with no destination.

On a wildlife reserve across the state border.

On being in high school with tiny Rick and Morty,

ON GETTING THAT FART HOME.

On my personal space.

On my word, we can launch a missile

On shrimply pibbles' home planet.

On the bottom of their shoe on a piece of alien fruit.

On the condition that you listen to my tale.

On the vat's control panel, a blue one and a red one.

On this one, Morty. Ugh.

On tonight's episode,

Once called a god.

Once he puts his mind to something.

One by one, I will unify them,

One day a year and then sleep well the rest of the time.

One dot, mother[bleep]!

One last stop.

One last swing for the road!

One minute into earth's performance.

One minute you're falling off a roof for six months,

One of two things was gonna happen

Ongoing investigations.

Oof! Were you born with your feet in your mouth?

Ooh la la, someone's gonna get laid in college.

Ooh whee!

Ooh whee.

Ooh, boy, what Oh, my God, no!

Ooh, boy, you're really, uh...

Ooh, gosh, it feels claustrophobic!

Ooh, man, we couldn't stop screaming.

Ooh, watch out for that stuff.

Ooh, well, for millennia,

Ooh, whee!

Ooh, whee! Amen to that.

OOH! YEAH, THIS LOOKS DEADLY.

Ooh. Wow.

OPEN FIRE!

Open the door! Open the door!

Opening myself up to others.

Operation Phoenix is not the fallback I thought it would be.

Opium addict.

Or also when eating them at also any meal.

Or am I married to a mean, unfair monster

Or an awkward fart on a road trip?

Or are you gonna freak out and start worshipping us?

Or are you gonna Jack my steez?

Or bark "yes" like a trained animal.

OR DOES HE WANT HERTO HIMSELF?

Or heart disease, but possibly vampire.

Or is there?

Or just a buzzkill?

Or longer to see how we unravel this mess.

Or maybe there's only one deceiver here..

Or maybe, just maybe, we're all real.

Or my name isn't Jerry Smith!

Or the battery wouldn't be broken.

Or the tragic events of 65.3432.23/14.

Or throw something so hard

Or w whatever that movie's called where he makes drinks.

Or we could shatter into countless theoretical shards.

Or were they like, "wait, what?"

Or who intercepts it before it dies.

Or, actually, I assume they both are and aren't, just like us.

Or, should I say, here we have the way

Or, you know, however old he is.

Or, you know, if you still have that gun K. Michael dropped,

Our alliance is beneficial.

Our church's head of advertising.

Our life sucks!

Our most brilliant scientist, Zeep Xanflorp,

Our planet was taken over by some kind of...Entity.

Our planet's held captive on a live game show,

Our planets maintain a practical alliance

Our pleasure.

Our school is vampire free!

Our society has been free of crime and war,

Our time is fractured... You two somehow created

Our time is gonna be unstable? What does that even mean?

Out of my way

OUT OF MY WAY. THE TINT SETTING IS ALWAYS TOO HIGH.

Out of the miniverse to be used by us.

Outside of a potato based religion.

Overly sensitive, clingy, hysterical, bird brained homunculi.

Ow!

Ow! I'm defeated.

P.S., I don't know where those coal miners were

Paid attention to me!

Pardon, Mr. and Mrs. Smith.

Particle beam in a wristwatch, snake holster on the leg.

Peace among worlds, Rick

People change...

People! Everyone! Remain calm!

Perhaps I'm biased, but if that story never happened,

Perhaps our alliance is, as well.

Pfft! I ain't worried about no earth blowing up, man.

Pfft. Man, watch me.

Philopol... phiphophopher... Oh, my god.

Photography Raptor take a picture.

Pick up a stick or something and kill them.

Pitting poor people against each other for thousands of years.

Places, please. We're about to land.

Planet music!

Please be kind to us, for we are but tiny things

Please don't do this! Please don't do this!

PLEASE GIVE ME A CALL.

Please help me!

Please help me. You can reach me if you try.

Please step away from the vehicle.

Please, everyone, I have news about shrimply pibbles.

Please, God in heaven. Please, God.

Please, God, if there's a hell, please be merciful to me.

Please, he's in the South pole!

Please! Leave me alone!

Plumbuses.

Plus every time you buy one, you get a $50 gift card.

Possibly by vampire. More likely auto accident

Powering our homes and businesses,

Praise be the head!

Praise be the... Yeah.

Presidential decree

Probably a cosmetic connection your mind mistakes for thematic.

Probably shouldn't be piloting a hovercopter,

Prostitutes are now scientists.

Pssh. White people problems, Morty.

Psychological option detected.

Pterodactyl!

Pull the fucking trigger!

Pushing old lighthouse keepers down the stairs is totally cool.

Put a shirt on your dumb dad,

Put on some sunscreen, Danielle!

Put pants on.

Put the damn collars on if you want to live.

Quick, Morty, you've got to turn into a car.

Quit yelling. What the [bleep]

Quite an operation you got going here, une.

R Rick was hoping to see your new energy source.

Raah!

Race war!

Rah gubaba, help me kill America!

Read it and weep, bitch.

Really gets their dicks hard when they see this ramp

Really? You're gonna pull that move?

Realnice.

Recreational substances were phased out here.

Regular Rick!

Relative to the real world?

Relax, Mr. Smith. You're in an alien hospital.

Reload, fast.

Remember it, Rick?

Remember our vacation?

Remember that one? Ooh whee!

Remember the barbecue.

Remember those candy bars earlier

Remember when we used to go to the playground,

Remember when you weren't going to shoot me?

Reminds me of that time we all got stuck in the elevator together.

Remove my penis and use it as an alien's heart.

Remove my penis!

Report to the ministry of employment

REPORTEDLY AT LARGE SOMEWHERE WITHIN THE GEAR SYSTEM.

Require different levels of skill to keep alive?

Rick, cut it out! It's not funny, Rick!

Rick, I am pleased you and your family

Rick, I can handle it if you go,

Rick, I don't like glowing rocks in the kitchen trash!

Rick, I know you're in there!

Rick, I think we need to cut our losses.

Rick, I'm Pencilvester.

Rick, Ice T, could you guys take it less easy?!

Rick, if you want to prove you're real,

Rick, is there a way for you

Rick, keep a level head, okay?

Rick, Morty, Ice T, the timetable's moved up.

Rick, our alien friend.

Rick, that is my daughter.

Rick, these are our family and friends,

Rick, unlock it!

RICK, WE'RE TAKING HIM BACK WHERE HE BELONGS.

Rick, when we met, I was a young hive mind

RICK, YOU'VE BEEN CLEAR ON THE FACT

Rick:

Rick: LEARNING TO FLY THIS THING, MORTY,

Rick: Unity! Unity!

RICK!

Rick!

Rick! How do we get you back into your body?

Rick? How... how did you...

Rick. You love those barbecues, Rick.

Rick's motivation to cure my disease

Ricky ticky tavi, beyotch!

Right, because your father's such an altruist?

RIGHT, UH FART.

RIGHT, YEAH, LIKE NOTHING SHADY EVER HAPPENED

RIGHT? AND WHO NEEDS THAT?

RIGHT? RIGHT?

Right.

Right. I know that. I just think...

Ro ro dah no gah!

Robbing and murdering each other without consequence.

ROY 2 JUST GOT HERE.

ROY PARSONS IS AT THE 20!

ROY, WHAT'S WRONG?

ROY?

Rubber baby baby bunkers!

Run!

Sally, the plate, please.

Samantha, I need to know,

SAME REASON AS YOU.

Same thing they do in every other prison, only forever.

Sanchez? Are you a musician?

Say goodnight, old man.

Say that all the time.

Scan hard. He's dead to me.

Scanning assailants.

Scary stuff, huh? Pretty freaky.

Sci Fi word to a car word and hope it means something.

Science, huh? Ain't it a thing.

SCREW THIS. I'M OUT.

Screw your top!

Second of all, cards on the table,

SEE THAT PLANET RIGHT THERE?

See what we got here.

See you.

See, everyone? Tinkles is real.

See, I've I've reconnected with my family, right?

See, Morty? This is what it's all about.

See, now... Now look right here.

See? Our cup runneth over.

Seems good

Seems like something terrible happened here.

SELLING A GUN TO A HIT MAN IS THE SAME AS PULLING THE TRIGGER!

SELLING A GUN WAS AS BAD AS PULLING THE TRIGGER?

Seriously, are these Halloween costumes?

Served out of a butthole...

Set a course for Morty's high school.

SETI, NORAD, and every broadcaster on the planet

Seven...

Sh sh shut up.

She fought a squirrel for it.

She got me right in the goddamn liver, Morty.

She normally works on horses.

She took my car and the gun.

She tried to purge me, Morty

She was literally in there in your womb.

She's a real

She's a woman. He's a man.

She's aced every test in potato class,

She's allowed to think it's God if she wants, honey.

She's my bitch of a sister.

She's my sister! And if tiny Rick

She's not getting pregnant or doing drugs or missing curfew.

She's real

Sheesh.

Shh, shh!

Shi i i i t. I'mma bust a...

Shit, overdeveloped, underdeveloped...

Should be based on politics.

Show me what you got!

Show me what you got.

Shrimply pibbles is being held hostage

SHUT THE [BLEEP] UP ABOUT MOON MEN!

Shut the [bleep] up. Oh, damn.

Shut up, Hamurai! Shut up, Amish Cyborg!

Shut up, Morty, you brainwashed, little turd

Shut up, Morty, you vindictive little turd!

Shut up!

Shut up! Shut up!

Shut up. Here, put these on.

Side by side in peace.

Since, you know, I'm calling myself.

Sing it with me now!

Sir, I need to get to the stage and help Rick get schwifty!

Sir, Pharrell, Newman, Corgan, and that Dream guy...

Sir, put the gun down

Sir, the magnetic poles are about to reverse.

Sir, we started picking up on a garbled signal.

Sir?

Sit your bird ass down.

Six, Morty! There's supposed to be six of us!

Six...

Sleepy Gary, how do we know I'm real?

Sleepy Gary, my head is filled with memories of our friendship.

Slide it to the center of the room.

Slurping, slurping, slurping it up.

SNAP OUT OF IT. COME ON.

So at a certain point, you got to ask yourself

So be nice.

So good luck with your shitty marriage,

So he could be in our high school.

So he could live in your house, eat your food, and multiply.

So he made a universe,

So here I am. I'm tiny Rick!

So I assume you'd like to, uh,

So I can bring you back to certain time.

So I'm treating the family to a vacation!

SO I'VE HEARD. JUST FIX IT.

So if we come back to earth, can my family have a normal life?

So it is an alien towel to me.

So it was basically like getting a splinter removed.

So let's save the measuring for when our dicks are out.

SO MY GRANDSON CAN FINISH SAVING A LIFE!

So no more alien prisoners

So remember a crank a day is not nearly enough.

So take your attitude to the men's section of kmart,

So that he could attempt to cure it.

So that it doesn't eat the planet!

So that shrimply pibbles might live? Stop asking!

So we can send a beacon to my sister on earth.

So we can't trust any of our memories now?

So we got to keep an eye out

So who's homesick? By applause.

So why don't you do us both a favor and pull the trigger?

So you better believe I don't care if it blows up,

So you can forget about nukes, and you can forget about math.

So you have plenty of disposable income.

So you stuff them down and...

So you're teenage daughter's marrying a birdman.

So you're trapped in there and you can only

So, class dismissed.

SO, DID YOU GUYS MAKE OUT A LITTLE BIT?

So, from now on, whatever we do, we have to be certain.

So, how, exactly, is your old body living

So, if you'll all excuse me, I'm going out onto the sidewalk,

So, in conclusion, you're both equally mercurial,

So, is tiny Rick your brother or cousin, or...?

SO, THIS SHOOTS ANTIMATTER?

So, uh, do most people wear masks when they purge?

So, uh, you know, when the purge started,

So, we'll be detaching your sexual organ at the base

So, what are you gonna do

So, what do you do during the festival?

So, what do you think? You wanna

So, what, y y you trying to sit here and tell me that

So, what's next?

So, yes, if we went back to earth,

So, you're coming back?

So...?

Some company out there's gonna thank their lucky stars

Some things that weren't actually related at all.

Somebody call for repairs?

Somebody confiscate that and don't damage it.

SOMEBODY DROPPED THE DIME ON US.

Somebody help me! Aah!

Somebody probably tracked it in last week

Someone has to bring a little culture.

SOMEONE WILL COME OUT AND TRY TO WASH YOUR WINDSHLD.

Something's gonna come through. I can feel it.

Something's happening to Unity.

Somewhere on this planet, there's got to be

SON OF A...

Sor ry! I wasn't paying attention.

Sorry, I am not staring at you, I am taking your mug shot.

Sorry.

South pole discovered, baby!

Spaghetti, kangaroos?

Speak.

Speed it up. He can't be this far back.

Spoken like a person with repressed rage.

Squanch this, mo fo.

Squanch this!

Stand down! Everybody, stand down!

Starting with common office objects.

Stay away from my personal space.

Stay back! This watch turns people into snakes!

Stay here, Hunter! No!

Stay put, don't touch any buttons,

Stay.

Step out of your ego for a second

Steve, I just got a weird e mail. Did you buy us airline tickets?

Steve, you're so sweet.

Steven, set yourself free.

Still, what is he, 40?

Stop it!

Stop saying it like it's a thing! You made it up!

Stop saying it. Gross.

Stop screwing around.

Stop shifting the cross hairs to my ironic urban patois

Stop the nuclear missile launch!

Stop, tiny Rick.

Stop.

Straight past human surgeon to head of medicine.

Strawberries on a cob!

String theory, world history, the human genome...

STUPID ASS, FART SAVING, CARPET STORE MOTHER[BLEEP]

Such as staplers and pins

Suck his life out.

Suck my dick! # it feels good

Suck my dick! Chew my balls!

Suck my huge cock!

Suddenly, a man steps into frame and points a gun at her.

Summer is safe.

Summer Smith is a [Bleep] psycho nerd

Summer, are you coming to the ascension?

Summer, before I took over this planet,

Summer, he's happy! I'm happy!

Summer, I thought you were cool!

Summer, I've always loved you!

Summer, Morty, are you okay?

Summer, Morty, take off your collars.

Summer, Morty, this is, uh, Unity.

Summer, on the shelf above my workbench in the garage,

Summer, w we need you to take down this number.

Summer, you bitch!

Summer, you sit here. Now, listen.

Summer's just a hyper emotional, needy little

Sundown is when the festival begins.

Sure thing. And I...

Sure, I just need to go grab my wallet from inside my ship.

Sure! Let's go to the ascension.

Surrounding that number.

Sweetie, is your shirt on backwards?

T t this is like a whole p planet or something.

T that's horrible!

Taco time!

Take a hike.

Take care of yourself, Unity.

Take him out of the audience. Kill him. Sic him.

Take it easy. This is a blessing in disguise.

Take it from me, ice, you can't just

Take it somewhere, you know?

Take it to the shit store and sell it

Take my penis. Take it all!

Take that, Summer!

Take the day off.

Talk about self destructive

TALK ABOUT SILENT BUT DEADLY.

Tammy, gross.

Tammy, I was approaching infertility when I met you,

Tammy, what are you doing?

Tammy, you may squanch your vows now.

Tammy?

Target locked.

Tell him tiny Rick will be here!

TELL THAT TO GEARHEAD'S GEARSTICLES. YOU DID THAT!

Tend to your garden, kids. I'm kind of doing a thing here.

TERRIFIC. THE FART THAT POOPED GOLD.

Th th th the time fracture must have made him crazy!

Th th they're setting up chafing dishes.

THANK YOU. [ CHUCKLES ]

Thank you. This is all so overwhelming.

Thanks for farming all those potatoes.

Thanks for teeing me up like that.

Thanks to cold stone creamery.

Thanks to the skilled diplomacy of this mysterious space car,

Thanks, Ghost in a Jar.

Thanks, Jerry.

Thanks, kids. You figured it out.

Thanks, Morty. I'm pretty proud of this bad boy.

Thanks, Mr. Poopybutthole. I always could count on you.

Thanks. It was birdperson's grandmother's.

Thanks. Tiny Rick, you think you might be

That 80% of every crank's energy output gets channeled

That a lot of people in here can't wait to get out of here?

That a mad scientist inventor with a flying car

That all children honor their parents.

That always hurts me?!

That amplifies all your violent tendencies.

THAT ARE GETTING KILLED TODAY BECAUSE OF YOUR CHOICES?

That asshole's willing to risk everything he cares about just to defeat me!

That can fix that.

That claim to have the best Pizza in the world.

That could call upon dormant nanobots in your bloodstream

That deer have much smaller, much more intricate organs.

That don't make no sense!

That evolves and introduce them

That goes for everyone.

That got pregnant with me too early

THAT GUY'S RICH.

That has nothing to do with this.

That have to also fix three, for a total of 96.

That his miniverse is unethical?

That hurt! That was painful.

That I got from Beth.

That I have 63 other memories of everything.

That I suppose you could call "space aids" as you put it.

That is a hatch.

That is an alien parasite.

That is su... Suspicious.

That it goes around the world and hits me.

That judgmental monster bitch!

That just sounds like slavery with ex... tra... steps.

That just sounds like slavery with extra steps.

That kind of thing.

That leaves you with a regular, old plumbus.

That life would be perfect without you.

That makes gooble boxes obsolete.

That math is important... And it is!...

That means so am I.

That means we're getting married!

That means you, ****.

That might not even be real because I'm brainwashed, too.

That my genius father is a bad person.

THAT NUMBER'S YOUR DAD.

That poor girl. W we have to save her.

That really sees the big picture.

That replace them when they get too old to make power.

That ripple nipple bitch's race is superior!

That shrimply pibbles represents love between all life.

That spread through fake memories,

That they might be inhaled by the many heads,

That thrives on enslavement, you know?

That was beautiful.

That was Chunkytunk with

That was his real name, like his actual vampire name?

That was my daughter's pediatrician! Aah!

THAT WAS OXYGEN.

That was... okay, yeah. T that was gross.

That we'd have compatible kidneys.

That when she's done with you,

That when the galaxy came calling,

That will be even better than Mr. Smith's pathetic penis.

THAT WOULD BE ILLEGAL.

That would never do anything for anyone but himself?

THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO HELP, SO JUST GO AWAY.

That you understand that I have a couple of eyeholes.

That you were having problems generating power.

That you'll eventually do everything,

That's 61/2 brapples.

That's a big deal.

That's a confetti gun, you fucking idiot!

That's a cool watch there, Rick. Can I check it out?

That's a fake ass catchphrase right there.

That's a myth!

That's a pretty fucked up "ooh la la".

That's a real crazy ending, huh?

That's a relief.

That's a steal because I'm a great pal.

That's all you are.

THAT'S BECAUSE MY GRANDSON DRIVES LIKE A MALE OBRAVADIAN.

That's correct. We've evolved.

That's earth therapy.

That's eight brapples.

That's good news! But, uh, Mrs. Smith, could you come with me?

That's his last name.

That's horrible. I hear you, man. Cops are racist.

THAT'S HOW FRIENDS ARE.

That's it, Morty! Hold him down!

That's it!

That's it. I'm calling security.

That's it. Photos.

That's jan Michaels.

That's my dream! That's my dream.

THAT'S MY NEW WORD FOR SHIT BECAUSE OF TODAY'S EVENTS.

That's my note, you know? Please write more.

That's not a gun. That's the xp 20 xs.

That's not a real job!

That's not how it works!

That's not our business as long as Summer is thriving.

That's not the point, dad!

That's odd. This deer's wounded.

That's planning for failure, Morty.

That's pretty cool.

That's right, assholes.

That's right, Mrs. Smith. Give in to your anger.

That's right. It's me... Ice T.

That's slavery.

That's the difference between you and me.

THAT'S VERY FUNNY!

That's very good, kids. I'm proud of you.

That's what makes us better than them.

That's what windshields are for.

That's what you used my universe for?

That's where the transporter is, too, so why don't we come with?

THAT'S WHY HE DOES IT FOR A LIVING.

That's wonderful, Summer.

That's you. That's how you talk.

That'show alien I am.

The battery, Morty. Be right back, Summer.

The best doctor in the ga... laxy.

The blamfs rub against the chumbles.

The blue one to my left temple and the red one to...

The brave earth man whose sacrifice

The car's name was kitt. Nobody rode Michael knight.

The city burns in the background as he takes her in his arms.

The collar. Oh, the latch is broken.

The cone nipple people will rule this world!

The configuration of veins,

The cromulon feed on the talent and showmanship

The cromulons have decided to declare earth the final winner

The dangerous waste power to a special disposal volcano.

The delicate asymmetry of what you call your balls,

The difference is I would never do it, until now.

The Dream?

The e arth relationships are simpler.

The earth man's world is tiny and undeveloped.

The end.

The fact that you're old, the fact that

The fate of hundreds of billions of sentient life forms.

The festival?

The first rule of space travel, kids,

The four squanches, and the nine balls,

The full gravity of the situation.

The galactic government considers us terrorists.

The galaxy's most influential civil rights leader,

The galaxy's most successful couples' counseling institute.

The general store ought to have what you need. Thanks.

The general's got nukes set to launch halfway through earth's song!

The gift of gooble box technology,

The Grammys, sir.

The guest are having cocksquanches.

The guest list at this wedding

The head has left and sent its children

The heads are displeased!

The heads disqualified Vagina! Get him!

The heads love this!

The homeless are now "phisosophers."

The hustle and bustle is a symphony of progress.

The ideal version of me is one smart enough

The jig is up!

The lame one here on earth.

The last time you felt something, we all almost died.

The mind of a robot and the heart of an insect!

The mortals shall soon...

The movie tickets in the other, he's like, "I'm ready!"

The name's real, possibly Scandinavian.

The next minute, bam!

The next step is to watch your mythologues

The non interference policy. We got the wiper fluid.

The numbericons! They're attacking!

The obscure planet known as earth,

The old Gods are dead.

The only show that makes you ask yourself,

The other Rick isn't trying to merge us anymore.

The parasites can only create pleasant memories.

The part of me that's the cleaning lady

The path to salvation is being held prisoner

The Pentagon.

The people it takes over,

The people we barbecue with.

The person that keeps telling us

The plucky little ball of water and dirt,

The ratio of thickness to elasticity,

The reception got out of hand.

The rest is annoying garbage.

THE REWARD ON YOUR HEAD IS TOO HIGH.

The road your father and I walked together

The schleem is then repurposed for later batches.

The school board is embarrassed

The second freezer drawer is mine.

The seven contemplations of the head by singing them.

The show we all grew and love...

The Smith family is going to Paris!

The sun's rising.

The teenage mind is its own worst enemy.

The three of us are lost in a timeless oblivion.

The trick to cereal is keeping 70% above the milk.

The two of you made us uncertain!

The universe is so big, nothing in it matters,

The value of his subservience is wasted on you

The view from here is the same as yours, Jim.

The wanted criminal.

The war in which we fought is far from over.

The whole planet's on a cob!! Go, go, go!!

The whole point of freezing time was to stop giving a [bleep].

The world will tremble before the Fourth Reich!

The world's time is gonna be fine,

THE WORMHOLE IS 70 OF WHAT YOU CALL METERS

Their entire culture is built around their penises.

Their telepathic abilities to make us wander into webs

Then a schlami shows up,

Then how do you know it didn't get on the ship with you?

Then I better crunch the numbers.

Then I found this world... ...Where I was better able

Then I wouldn't still be the family butler.

Then I'll take one of those.

Then make a me that can!

Then open the blast shield doors.

Then perhaps you shouldn't.

Then we can't get schwifty.

Then we're doing that again.

Then you would give your penis

Then you've been doing it wrong for six months.

There already is no more bacon!

There are extensive medical records open on my desktop,

There are those that believe, Mr. Smith,

There are way too many buttons in this thing!

There could never be more than one of me.

There he is. Stop, stop.

There is just one more thing.

There is no "they."

There is no helicopter.

There is something I wish to teach you.

There isn't time! Just run!

There was an earthquake and... all the musicians,

There was this one world that called it just murder night.

There we go. Much better. Now we can see.

There, every being is a letter of the alphabet.

There's a bunch of dead mes in the garage.

There's a pile of silverware next to you,

There's a red box with a keypad on it.

There's always AAA, you fucking cocksucker!

There's another matter we need to discuss with you.

There's been a shooting. My wife shot..

There's gotta be a way to contact my dad.

There's more where that came from!

There's no need for any more snake makery.

There's no need for escape from the self

There's no place like home. Remember, summer?

There's no such thing as an "uncle Steve".

There's no time to squanch!

THERE'S NOT A LOT ANYONE CAN DO TO STOP HIM.

There's nothing dishonest about what we're doing.

There's nothing to regret. We're dealing with

There's nothing to run from, nothing to fight.

There's one every season.

There's only enough time for a jan Michael Vincent

There's only room for one more.

There's only so much charge left in this thing.

There's only supposed to be six people in this house.

There's pros and cons to every alternate timeline

There's several hizards in the way.

THERE'S THERE'S A LOT MORE WHERE THAT CAME FROM, TOO.

There's too many of them!

There's too much aggression here.

THESE ARE FLERBOS.

These are my grandkids, summer and Morty.

THESE ARE THE JERRYS WHOSE RICKS AND MORTYS NEVER CAME BACK.

These guys... they want to completely

These lights are designed for basic ice cream work.

These men are from the Cervine Institute

These parasites are like bed bugs,

These people are backwards savages.

These poor people's bodies are being used.

These telepathic little bastards, they embed themselves in memories,

They can just call themselves

They can take this deer to a helicopter

They can't have students killin' teachers.

They could save the marriage of a dog

They could save the marriage of a porn star and a porn star.

They cut the fleeb.

They eat every third baby

They found her in the gym with, like, two holes in her neck

They get married and make children

They had that one planned

They have been blowin' me up.

They hired my little brother.

They just put you at the center of their lives because you're powerful.

THEY LIVE HERE NOW.

They love it when we don't kill the Smith family!

They love the slow ramp.

They made burgers!

They melt in your mouth, Morty. They're delicious.

They pay each other. They buy houses.

They say you shouldn't do that! Just run!

They scanned it out of my brain.

They seem like they're in a hurry

They take the dinglebop,

THEY TAKE THEIR BALLS AND THEY DIP THEM IN COCAINE

They teach kids about me in school.

They they look like your friends,

They think they control the galaxy, I disagree.

They want you to be less powerful.

They'd want to interrogate us.

They'll know. Wait, wait.

They'll sync your possibilities up

They'll want it at...

They'll work for each other and pay each other money.

They're a planet of puppets.

They're all in this catalogue.

They're all limited edition "Zelda" ones.

They're codependent!

They're filming that new "Star Wars" movie down the coast.

They're gonna put the intergalactic equivalent

They're just fruity necklaces is what I was saying.

They're like, "it's just so convenient."

They're making you into a mount rushmore.

They're no different from any of the aimless chumps that you occupy.

They're not gonna last all night.

They're not therapists. Go, go, go!

They're part of...It.

They're peaceful, and then, you know, they just purge.

They're probably living it up in some pointless,

They're really embarrassing.

They're selling Nintendo 3DS systems for $149.99 on sale,

They're thrilling.

They're... they're siamese twins!

Things just keep on getting better.

Think about getting in the cupboards, but don't really.

Think for yourselves. Don't be sheep.

This animal can't be transferred

This deer belongs to me.

THIS GUY DOESN'T HAVE A SOCIAL SECURITY NUMBER FOR ROY!

THIS GUY WAS GONNA KILL SOMEONE!

This guy's amazing!

This guy's body is, like, sloping down

THIS GUY'S TAKING ROY OFF THE GRID! [ ALL GASP ]

This guy's trying to get out of giving away his penis!

This has been a long time coming, anyway.

This has been a long time coming!

This head won't go away

This here is my grandson, Morty

THIS IS A [BLEEP] OPERATION.

This is a big one.

This is a candid shot.

THIS IS A GALACTIC FEDERATION OUTPOST!

THIS IS A TOTALLY UNREGISTERED CROSS TEMPORAL ASTEROID.

This is bluebird!

This is depressing.

This is gonna be great.

This is gonna stop crime how, exactly?"

THIS IS HARDER THAN IT LOOKS.

This is hardly the real garrrh and zharbidar.

This is Jerry.

This is ku'ala, the spirit tree.

This is like that. You can't make people like you.

This is my butthole ice cream parlor.

THIS IS MY GRANDSON, MORTY.

This is not her day.

This is not what I was expecting, Morty.

This is on you guys. I told you weddings are stupid.

This is really amazing. # It feels good

This is special agent gribbles.

This is the closest I've ever gotten

THIS IS THE EIGHTH TO THE LAST STRAW. ANTE UP.

This is the last time I ask you for help on my history final, Rick.

THIS IS WHERE WE'RE GOING?

This is why we do what we do.

This is why you don't freeze time, you guys.

This is wrong, Kyle. What you're doing is wrong.

This is your family and friends all around you, you know?

This isn't a fucking chocolate factory.

THIS ISN'T A MUSICAL NUMBER.

This isn't gonna shake out like you think, pal.

This jan uary,

This looks a lot worse than it is.

This looks nice.

This machine isolates the part of the subject's brain

This man was a registered sex offender.

This morning, how I blew Summer off, and I thought,

This never needs to be more than one dot.

This next one's coming straight from the heart.

This pipe's supposed to be sending

This representation displeases me.

THIS SHOULD TAKE ME BACK TO MY KIND.

This time be like grandpa.

This whole decision past my wife.

This whole thing was your idea, in the first place,

This woman was a drug addict on the verge of suicide.

This world sucks!

This world will be invited into the galactic federation.

This? This is a losing battle.

THISIS.

Those facehuggers are worth more than this ship.

Those facts are who you are.

Those two dingdongs seem pretty calm about the whole thing.

Three, stay out of my personal space.

Three.

Through the filter of your comfort

Tiny Rick, hey, great dancing as usual.

Tiny Rick, this conversation

Tiny Rick!

Tiny Rick! Thanks, everybody!

Title... 'the end'...

To a conversation about vampires?!

To a precinct.

To another successful year of the festival,

To be in this spaceship, just the two of us, you know?

To be somewhere else.

To be threaded through...

To call summer and Morty?

To clarify, I am quite able to destroy this army,

To deal with a bloodsucker on our own.

To destroy the rich assholes that run our society

To do this as a [Bleep] team, mother[Bleep] tiny Rick!

To eliminate one of the possibilities rather than merge them.

To find jacey lakims, 28... hot, but doesn't know it.

To focus on my passion for unification.

To follow their apparently misguided dreams.

To friendship, to love, and to my greatest adventure yet...

To get through the month. I have some interviews coming up.

TO GO ON ALL KINDS OF ERRANDS FOR ME. COOL.

To hedge their bets.

To his ongoing battle with heroin dependency.

To join the galactic federation

To keep her lover intact?

To know who's family and who isn't.

To let go sometimes, you know?

To make it to a quadrant.

To me, you're just in a hospital.

To offer what little they have to help save shrimply's life.

To preserve. Look at that mummy! Ha! Ha ha!

To put the mattress under...

To quadrant "c."

To reach his planet.

To restructure your anatomy and turn you into a car.

To run your car?

To see you as...

To sell my existence out for some trim, Morty.

To sport that color blue. Really?

To subject her to inhuman conditions

To the best show ever,

To the church downtown so we can pray together.

To the right side of the screen like that? I don't know, Morty. See what else is on, huh?

To the thing that literally controls the fucking weather.

To the wonders of electricity in the form of a device

To the wonders of electricity via a pulley based device

To third dimensional life forms in time prison?

To this part of my father's life.

To turn yourself into a teenager and come to our school

TO US, YOU ARE WHAT YOU WOULD CALL A DISEASE.

To wash our hands when we get back from outer space.

TO YOU, THEY'RE JUST WHEELS WITH TEETH,

To... to Tony! Toni! Toné! # It feels good, yeah

Toby Matthews isn't into psycho chicks.

Today on "how they do it"...

Today the pope didn't get killed.

Too fast.

TOO LATE, MORTY. THE HOLE'S OPENING.

Too many.

Too much to hug you, though.

Topped the charts, I think. Ho, ho!

Totally fail to bend metal?

Totally.

TOUCHDOWN! [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

Trade secret, Mr. President.

Transcending time and space my whole life?

Triggering climate change and natural disasters

Trust me, Beth, you don't want to know

TRUST ME, MORTY, I'VE HEARD STORIES FROM OTHER RICKS.

Trying to figure out how to lower the blast shields, huh?

Trying to weasel out of his penis donation

Turn around!

Turn in to "Rick and Morty" season three in,

Turns out they have a chemical in them called purgenol

Two real aliens walking through here.

TWO THINGS I WANT TO MAKE CLEAR TO EVERYBODY IN THIS ROOM

Two times bigger and we've got half as much time to solve it.

Two, personal space.

Ugh agh.

Ugh, it's... Never mind.

Ugh, Rick, you said we were going to a movie.

Ugh. I'll be right back.

Ugh. No, wait, Rick,

Ugh. Oh, my god.

Ugh. Sorry, Jerry. You're real.

Ugh. Tough crowd.

Ugh. Wonderful.

UH HUH, YEAH, THAT'S THE DIFFERENCE

Uh huh. No, mother... no. Earth, dude.

Uh oh! Somersault jump.

Uh oh.

Uh, computer, how long are the days on this planet?

Uh, dad, how long are the days on this planet?

Uh, dad, that's like 10 people.

Uh, don't focus too much on the last part, but

Uh, he's not gonna destroy your universe.

Uh, hey! You know what's fun? Our gift shop.

Uh, hi, everybody.

Uh, hi, my name is Jerry Smith, I'm from planet earth.

Uh, hold the phone.

Uh, I have a boyfriend.

Uh, I thought you learned that by now.

UH, I'M NOT SURE. MORTY.

Uh, I'm... Not sure.

Uh, is there a slow setting?

Uh, it's probably a bad time to mention it,

Uh, just so you're prepared,

Uh, just to be clear, it was Summer's job

Uh, l let's not get carried away, Morty.

Uh, Lady Gaga, table for three. Am I right?

Uh, Morty, in space, we have something we call

Uh, Mr. President, um, couldn't help but notice

Uh, my name is blim blam the korblok.

Uh, my... my wife shot a long time family friend.

Uh, no thank...

Uh, no.

Uh, Rick, I think we should allgo.

Uh, Rick, is there anything you'd like to tell us

Uh, roller coasters aren't bad, Mrs. Refrigerator.

Uh, sorry. K keep going.

UH, THAT'S A BLIPS AND CHITZ TICKET.

Uh, the fact that I wrote this number down

Uh, uh, I need time to forget about Sleepy Gary.

UH, USE YOUR FLERBOS TO GET TICKETS!

UH, W WAIT. WHAT? UH, W WAIT. WHAT?

Uh, w why don't you get it, Jerry?

Uh, well, Beth, I don't think your decision

Uh, what? It was your job, Morty.

Uh, what's that? This'll make the cops write it up

Uh, where?

UH, WHO ARE YOU?

Uh, why don't we see what Unity thinks?

Uh, yeah, I was there. You don't have to rub it in.

Uh, yeah, just masturbating!

UH.

Uh...

UH...

Uh... ...For just $1.99 a minute.

Uh... Call me, taddi Mason.

Uh... Hey, are you bored...

Uh... Lonely, just looking for a friend?

Uh... Okay.

Uh... Sign up today,

Uh... We could talk about sports or barbecue.

Uh... What, I do.

Uh...Human.

Uh...Okay, what the hell.

UM, BEFORE YOU GO, COULD YOU SING A

UM, CLEANSING?

UM, EARTH, PLEASE?

Um, first of all, hello.

Um, I used to have to draw him

Um, longtime fan of the show. Uh...

UM, RICK!

Um, should we maybe stop somewhere

UM, UM, UM, UM!

Um, w we come in peace.

Um, yeah.

Um...

Um... did we ever put that mattress under Mr. Benson?

Um... wow.

UNBELIEVABLE.

Uncertainty is inherently unsustainable.

Unconscious, unhealthy thoughts.

Underneath that YouTube video and someone replied

Understood.

Unfortunately, there's no surgical procedure

Unh!

Unity has spoken of you.

Unity,

Unity, could you get Rick out here, please?

Unity, I know you can hear me. Get out here.

Unity, this place is a mess.

Unity, Unity, who am I talking to?

Unity, what's happening? Who's Unity?

Unity!

Unity! Unity!

Unity?

Unity's not into other hive minds.

Until a planet developed intelligent life.

Until a world developed.

Until Earth shows them it's got...

Until the current attending physician

Until then, I'll put mine in Rick and Morty.

Until we know that there's no more of these things.

Until you tell them where I am...

Up in this place.

Up next, are you a concerned grandchild

Up next, planet Earth!

Up next, teenagers are calling it

Up next, the heat is turning up

Up to the point that I don't even care about this...

Us?!

Us?! What the hell kind of relationship do you have?!

Use your penis one last time.

Verbally confirms their inability to provide adequate care.

W w we're gonna get purged, Morty.

W W WHERE AM I?!

W w why are you trying to start a myth?

W wait, what? What's going on?

W WAIT. ARE THEY COMING?

W we get our family and portal out of here!

W we got to get out of here.

W we're cool now.

W we're exactly like a man capable of sustaining

W WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

W WHAT'S YOUR NAME?

W WHERE'S MY WIFE?! MORTY, YOU WERE JUST PLAYING A GAME.

W why is his body, like, sloping off

Waahee!

Wait for the ramp, Morty.

Wait for us!

Wait, but I...

WAIT, DID YOU [BLEEP] WITH MY SEAT SETTINGS?

Wait, don't... don't do that.

Wait, for real?

Wait, stop! Please, don't kill me!

Wait, w where is that music coming from?

Wait, wait, wait! C come on.

Wait, wait, wait. Hold on. W we have to go down there.

Wait, wait, wait. Why... why...

Wait, wait. Stop. Hold it.

Wait, what?! Vampires are real?!

Wait, why would you want me to...

Wait! That was an option the whole time?!

Wait! You can't leave me here!

Wait.

Waiting for them to reply and then you fell asleep crying?

Wake up, people! You have to fight it!

Was at blood Ridge on glapflap's third moon

Was brought to this hospital's emergency room,

Was discovered by the humans.

Was it all a dream?

Was not to save my life or anyone else's,

Was the house... When we pulled up,

WAS YOUR MORTY RESPONSIBLE FOR KILLING TODAY?

WASN'T FOR NOTHING, YOU KNOW?

Watch this.

Watching some TV, playing on your phone?

Water T, where are you going?!

Way to go, summer. You started a race war.

WE AGREED A BOY'S FATHER SHOULD BE PRESENT

We all got pink eye because you won't stop texting on the toilet.

We are not the monsters we sometimes see each other as,

We are, Morty.

We asked them to show us what they got, and they did.

We called the fire department.

We can adapt.

We can be rich, and we also all get to keep one

We can communicate.

We can find solutions.

We can purify the resin and make fractal dust.

We can work together.

WE CAN'T GET HIM OUT OF HERE. HE'S GASEOUS.

We can't make you stop the surgery,

We can't rule anybody out as the vampire,

We could be infested with these things.

We could either do this the easy way or the hard way.

We could finish the job and go home.

We did it, Morty.

We did it!

We didn't notice until it was too late.

We don't have time for this, okay?

We don't know a damn person here.

We don't know there's a cause effect relationship...

We follow only the will of the forest.

We forgot the tickets! Why in the kitchen?!

We froze time for a pretty long time, so when I un freeze it,

We get a one, personal space.

We got a bag of bobbish.

We got a lot of friends and family to exterminate.

We got a plumbus.

We got a tip it was in your locker.

WE GOT A WHOLE BUNCH OF GAMES HERE.

WE GOT SOME BUSINESS TO ATTEND TO

We got tiny lasagna, tiny Pizza, tiny pie.

WE GOT TO BE COOL AND [BLEEP] LAY LOW.

We got, uh, a... crushed red party cups.

WE GOT, UH, ONE GAME.

We have committed numerous atrocities

We have no leaders.

We have to stay quarantined

We hereby send these unwantables skyward

We just have regular nipples.

We keep acting like there's only two options,

We killed a vampire and a gym teacher.

We killed every good person in the house.

We live our lives in hiding.

We lost our car and my gun, and we're in a purge.

We love Rick... F for the most part.

We need a hang glider

We need one jan Michael Vincent

We need to kill everyone that we can only remember fondly.

We need two jan Michael Vincents to quadrant "e."

We only want Sanchez, sir. Your family will be fine.

We pan past windows, each of which contain a different story,

We pretty much nailed it the first time.

We put you in a dog crate because you were acting crazy

We really do get into some crazy situations as a family,

We really just needed to be honest with those guys.

We should be safe for hours, maybe days!

We should go get him.

We should pack up and leave town now.

We should start our stories where they begin

We sort of used to, uh...Date.

We still have the nuclear option.

We thought were impossible for at least another eight years.

We told Morty to replace all the bank's money with cookies.

WE TRIED THAT, BUT THERE'S TWO DIFFERENT COLORS.

We understand genocide. We do it sometimes.

We watched them kill each other. We're leaving.

We were just hoping to get on the roof of your lighthouse

We were just off planet for a wedding.

We weren't even supposed to be down here.

WE WILL BE BACK FOR YOUR CLEANSING.

We will stop bombing them, and they will no longer use

We... we have to tell the cops you were driving.

We'd offer you some,

We'll be right back after these messages.

We'll deny it and probably worse.

We'll find a new world.

We'll take our chances raising her without fancy new jobs,

We'll tell you how you can know for sure.

We're all going to die, one day, the fact that

WE'RE ALL OUT OF OFF WHITE PERSIAN.

We're always hearing about this Tinkles character,

We're bored. Take us back to Rick.

We're decrypting it now.

We're entirely hypothetical.

We're gonna do whatever Rick wants, whenever he wants?

We're gonna just steal a couple of things.

We're gonna live our lives until we die.

We're in the drop zone! I'm the jumpmaster!

We're inside the battery. I get it.

WE'RE JERRYS.

We're like the rest of these assholes now.

We're losing him. All right, fine, but you're not touching my crisper.

We're neither. S see?

We're not gonna have enough charge left to get off world.

We're not on any time line, dummy.

We're not purging anyone, Rick, all right? W will you stop it?

We're not too keen on the purge, either, sir.

We're on a planet that's purging, Summer. Purging.

We're out of original flavor fig Newtons.

We're out of time. It's ironic, huh?

We're outnumbered. Get in the cupboards.

We're quite proud.

We're real. Ricky ticky tavi!

We're really just having a good time.

We're so proud of you.

We're sorry for our increased levels of emissions

We're taking it worldwide, and we'd like Jerry to be

We're Tammy's parents... pat and Donna guterman.

WE'RE TRYING TO FIGURE OUT HOW TO GET THE SOUND

We're trying to sleep.

We're what's left? What a family

We've been split for 20 minutes and your lives

We've been waiting 16 years for our daughter to respect us,

We've got six hours to come up with a song!

We've got to get back to certainty quick.

Weapons systems engaged.

Welcome back to "funny songs."

Welcome back to "Planet Music"!

Welcome home, Water T

Welcome to nuptia four.

Well, a helpful rule might be if you need something, you get it.

Well, actually, I do expect you to understand that.

Well, can we at least go get our family?

Well, do you think, maybe...

Well, don't different animals...

Well, don't just stand there, Morty.

WELL, GET ON OVER TO BLIPS AND CHITZ!

Well, he doesn't like it. What's he gonna do?

WELL, HE'D PROBABLY LIKE TO HAVE ME TO HIMSELF.

WELL, I DID HAVE THIS IDEA,

Well, I did my job. Summer did her job.

Well, I don't know where you expect me to think

Well, I don't like your unemployed genes in my grandchildren, Jerry,

Well, I don't think that's fair at all, Jerry. At all.

WELL, I GOT A LITTLE SURPRISE FOR YOU, BUDDY.

WELL, I GUESS THIS IS IT.

Well, I had a feeling that, in your mind,

Well, I it occurs to me that his heroin addiction

Well, I know I'm ready to try whatever it takes.

Well, I looked at the guest book.

Well, I remember you as a whiny, little piece of shit, Morty!

Well, I thought I'd walk to the South pole

Well, I'm not gonna do extra work if we all get the same.

Well, if all of me knocked out all the Ricks,

Well, is there some way you can prove

Well, it seems like everybody here's cool with it.

Well, it was a tough adventure, but it paid off...

Well, it's good you're here, Rick.

Well, it's official.

Well, Jerry, what kind of wife would I be

Well, just fuck it, call him pichael."

Well, let's see.

WELL, LOOK AT THIS FELLA. AREN'T YOU HANDSOME?

Well, maybe you're right.

Well, nice. Realnice.

Well, now i'mgoing to barf.

Well, of course it happened.

WELL, OF COURSE. RIGHT THROUGH THAT TUBE.

Well, since you're going to time prison,

Well, Summer did.

Well, Summer, I hear

Well, summer, maybe people that create things

Well, terrific.

Well, that just sounds like slavery with extra steps.

Well, then get your shit together!

WELL, THEN, I GUESS WE'RE ALL GETTING IN THE CAR.

Well, there you go. Sorry.

Well, this explains the $6,000 electric bill.

Well, this is just bad couples' therapy.

Well, this won't do.

Well, w what did you think, Morty?

WELL, WE DON'T HAVE TIME TO TAKE HIM TO EARTH, MORTY.

Well, we tried a couples' therapist.

Well, we want to make it work, if we can.

Well, what are we going to do?!

Well, what do you know about this?

Well, yeah, duh doy. Took you long enough.

Well, you better start getting used to it, little bitch,

Well, you can hide with us. Rick?

Well, you can.

Well, you can't. I want you out of here.

Well, you know what, Summer?

Well, you'd have to be pretty petty.

Well, you're gonna make it work.

Were looking for our weed whacker

Were they included? Cleanup in the fruit aisle.

Were you trying to use this to...

Wh wh what is it?

Wh wh why are you making that face?

Wh what do you think, ice? Probably a little overdeveloped.

Wh what is this, bird... birdseed?

Wh whoa, whoa!

What an asshole!

What are the odds this is legit

What are we doing?

What are we going to do now?

What are we going to do?

What are we gonna do, Rick? We're so screwed.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING, MORTY?

What are you doing, Rick?

What are you gonna do? I'm tiny Rick.

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

What are you talking about? It's not broken, Morty.

What are you talking about?! Why would we do that?!

What are you?

What are you... what did you do that for?

What did you guys do?

What do we do about the space car?

What do you do? What's your profession?

What do you know about friendship, Jerry?

What do you know? He was right!

What do you mean you're gonna help him?

What do you people think you're doing?

WHAT DO YOU SAY WE GO HOME? I'D LIKE THAT.

What do you say we take down these blast shields?

What do you say, Rick?

What do you think, they have Pizza contests?

What do you want?

What happened? Where am I?

What have you done for me lately?

What if I told you there's a huge ticket up right behind you?

What if we designate a period of time

What if we turned your father in to the government?

What if you came with us as a favor to us

WHAT IN THE HELL?! 55 YEARS. NOT BAD, MORTY.

What is being young?

What is going on? Aah! Give me my eyeholes! Give me my eyeholes!

What is it?

What is that supposed to mean?

What is the meaning of this? # It feels good

What is this, a '90s nostalgia thing?

What is this?

What is this? '90s Conan?

What it means to grow up without a father, but...

WHAT KIND OF BUSINESS DO YOU DO IN A GARAGE?

What should we do with our remaining $20?

WHAT THE [BLEEP] IS SO VALUABLE ABOUT YOU?

What the [Bleep]?

What the fuck? You can turn into ice?

WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE?!

What the hell are you doing, Nathan?!

What the hell are you doing?! Put it down!

What the hell do either of you two

What the hell happened back there?!

What the hell happened?

What the hell is a birdperson?

What the hell is that?! Take that back!

What the hell is wrong with you two?

What the hell is your problem?

What the hell was that?

What the hell, hell, hell, hell, hell?

What the hell?

What the hell? What have you done to me, Morty?

What the hell?!

WHAT THE HELL?!

What the...?

What they don't know is

What up, my Helsings?

WHAT YOU CALL NORTH OF WHAT YOU CALL HERE.

What, you think you're better than me?!

What, you're just gonna listen to this guy now?

What?

What? Dumb. Bye.

WHAT? HUH?! WHOA!

What? Nothing.

What? This isn't healthy, Rick.

What? What teenage girl has pictures of her family?

WHAT?! [ SCOFFS ] WAY TO GO, MORTY.

What?! No! What is your problem?!

What?! Pants!

WHAT?! RICK, NO! YOU CAN'T!

What... What am I eating?

What'd you say to me,

What's going on?

What's he doing? What's he crafting?

WHAT'S IMPORTANT IS THAT WE MOVE QUICKLY.

What's new at school? Nothing.

What's that? Who's that baby?

What's that? You got something to say?

What's the word I'm looking for here?

What's the... What's the problem?

What's the... what's... What's... what's...

What's this "was" stuff?

What's up with her face?

What's your problem?

Whatcha doing?

Whatcha doing? Going into the kitchen?

WHATEVER YOU WANT TO DO, YOU LITTLE PUNK ASS LITTLE BITCH.

Whatever you want, Rick! We're here to help!

Whatever your asking me, the answer is I'm amazing.

Whatever.

When a vampire is pretending to be a human,

When beta seven expresses concern,

When God deals you an 11, you don't fold!

When he was 30, she was an actual child.

When he was her age, she wasn't born.

When he was, let's see, like, 18,

WHEN HE'S LEARNING TO DRIVE. I GUESS I REMEMBER THAT.

When I get out of this teenyverse,

When when you said, "Go inside what?"

When you rotate back to the world, Frankenstein?

When you were alive?

When your world is one.

Where am I?

Where am I?! You're at a wedding.

Where are the Smith mythologues?

Where are we going to live?

Where are we going?

Where did he get a gun? Who gave him a gun?

Where did you guys get those necklaces from?

Where did you learn to talk, you grandpa stealing slut?

WHERE DO YOU WANT TO MEET?

Where he is currently fighting for his life.

Where humans have held bottles, pencils, thermoses

Where I couldn't make time for his funeral

Where is it taking him?

Where my father died.

Where none of the people whose stuff I stole

Where the fleeb is rubbed against it.

Where the food is tiny.

Where there's eight jan Michael Vincents...

Where your jurisdiction ends.

Where's my pencil at?

Where's the helicopter?

Where's the van, Morty?

WHEREVER WE DISCOVER YOU, WE CURE IT.

Which chair to sit in while I do everything?

Which clearly implies that I'm not.

Which I guarantee they won't believe.

Which I guarantee you, you're not gonna know,

Which I will never do again.

Which is good, because the relationship

Which is where it gets its name,

Which makes this my garage, my secret hatch,

Which they now generate on a global scale.

Which would threaten to make Zeep's flooble cranks obsolete,

Which would you prefer between the xp 20 and the xp 20 xs?

Which you would know, if you ever

Which, when stomped on, generates electricity,

While Unity and I do some catching up.

WHILE YOU WERE GONE, I FOUND A NEW WORMHOLE

While you're standing in it,

Who cares about the things you guys are talking about?

Who could argue with a wife's decision

Who I hear had a great party last night.

Who is bffs with an intergalactic narc?

Who love to eat spaghetti and pray to kangaroos.

Who takes care of my kids?

WHO TAUGHT YOU TO FLY THIS THING?

WHO WANTS TO COME WATCH MIDNIGHT RUN

Who wants to hunt a vampire? Ha ha ha!

Who? Oh, Unity. Yeah, well...

Who's around me?

Who's gonna keep track

Who's got a bad memory about Mrs. Refrigerator?

Whoa oh!

Whoa, damn! Look at this.

Whoa, Morty. You just purged.

Whoa, t that's... that's insane!

Whoa, they are purging the fuck out of each other.

Whoa, whoa, Morty! Give me that.

Whoa, whoa, wait! Aah!

Whoa, whoa. Hey. Who's around me right now?

Whoa!

WHOA!

Whoa!

Whoa! 1 out of 10 times, it's a deadly trap,

WHOA! COME ON, COME ON!

Whoa! Geez, Morty, purge it down a little.

Whoa! Ha ha! Whoo!

Whoa! Hey, check this out!

WHOA! JESUS, JERRY!

Whoa! Look at you!

Whoa! That's not what I meant!

WHOA! WHAT THE HELL?!

WHOA! WHOA!

Whoa! Whoa. So, billions of life forms?

WHOA. SH SHIT!

Whoa. What the hell?

Whoo hoo hoo!

Whoo whee, you think the family's gonna rescue him?

Whoo whee! You think Rick's gonna get out off jail?

Whoo!

Whoo! Tiny Rick!

Whoo! Aw, yeah! # It feels good

Whose entire culture powers my brake lights!

Why am I always your go to?

Why are we doing this for someone

Why are you doing this?

Why are you fighting?!

Why couldn't I bring my portal gun?

Why did all the drinks have to be extra large?

Why didn't he turn into a snake?

Why do you even have those?!

Why do you hate me, summer?

Why do you think I have one of these?

Why do you think I'm even here?

Why does it say help me Morty and Summer!?

Why doesn't anyone really like me?

Why don't we christen our squeaky clean windshield here

Why don't we just use your portal gun?

Why don't we proceed in an orderly...

Why don't you guys go get a free Sunday ice cream?

Why don't you make me, implausibly naive pubescent boy

Why don't you two kids go run off and play with Unity

Why don't you, uh, find a button on one of those keyboards

Why in the [Bleep] would I ever do that, ever?

Why the [Bleep] would he name himself

Why was knight rider called knight rider?

WHY WERE THE GROMFLAMITES HOLDING YOU PRISONER?

Why would you do this, Beth?

Why wouldn't he? You're great!

Why?

Why... why don't you have some candy bars, as well?

Why... why would I do that? You do that?

Will everybody just relax for a second?

Will somebody just help me get her?

Will somebody pass me a pork chop?

Will you fix your marriage or get a divorce already?

Wires on my head! I hate being a teenager!

Wish I could say the same.

WITH 3,000 OF THESE? UH, WHAT?

With a "Ball Fondlers" movie franchise

With a pair of Never mind.

With a planet capable of generating massive amounts of power.

With a tiny amount of space behind it.

With all due respect,

With an old ******* comedy writer's name?

With artificial biological life.

WITH DIRECTOR'S COMMENTARY ON?

With entire bodies, stuck to your ground.

With every decision I make.

With every man that remotely resembles my father.

With green headlights instead of normal ones?

WITH MILLIONS OF BEINGS JUST LIKE HIM ON THE OTHER SIDE,

With Samantha and the boys on "the northsiders."

With someone getting decapitated,

WITH THAT WHOLE BIRD WATCHING PHASE.

With the population of a small town.

With this previously unknown galactic government?

With u... With us if we lose?

With your delicate sensibilities, you know?

Without consulting us.

Word of Jerry Smith

Word of your selfless acts on the Earth planet

Would it be possible for us to get some kind of tour

Would you even know that wasn't earth?

Would you like to go to dinner with

Would you like to rsvp or send a gift?

Would you relax, Morty?

Wouldn't it make more sense to put my dumb ass husband

Wow, it's the planet's core.

Wow! Hey, everybody.

Wow! Hey, look, you guys.

WOW. AND YOU'VE JUST BEEN BACK THERE THIS WHOLE TIME?

Wow. Man, I think my eyes were bigger than my stomach

WRONG! I'D BE PLAYING ROY RIGHT NOW.

Wubba lubba dub dub!

Wubby lubby doob doob!

Y y you got the people on this world slaving away

Y y you're really tearing into me right now.

Y you can't leave us here. You're killing us!

Y you got to come back. Change your mind.

Y YOU KILLED MY BEST CUSTOMER,

Y YOU KNOW WHAT THOSE GUYS DO

Y you told me it means "much obliged".

Y you're talking about taking over planets and galaxies.

Y... remember that? After "The Hulk" musical?

Y'all are just... Just... just negligent.

Yawn.

Yay! Cousin Nicky!

Yeah, about going home, we can't... ever.

Yeah, and I made the stars that became the carbon in your mother's ovaries!

Yeah, and you know what? I like high school.

Yeah, baby!

Yeah, bitch, what's up?

Yeah, but don't flatter yourself.

Yeah, but you're real.

Yeah, but...

Yeah, check me out.

Yeah, don't forget his incredibly vague back story.

Yeah, get outside. Read a book.

Yeah, grandpa, way to go.

Yeah, guess I'm out of fluid.

Yeah, he kidnapped me and my family,

Yeah, here. Aha!

Yeah, I am. To get ice cream.

Yeah, I bet. I bet.

Yeah, I don't know what you're talking about, bro.

Yeah, I got bored and then, I remembered,

Yeah, I guess that is what happened,

Yeah, I just hope you got a pre meld.

Yeah, I know! What kind of operation are you running?

Yeah, I know. Now we have to go to the wedding.

YEAH, I SAID IT SOME STEREOTYPES ARE BASED IN FACT.

Yeah, it took some time for people to accept it.

Yeah, it would literally destroy them.

Yeah, it's kind of like cellphones, you know?

Yeah, it's possible that we may have been correlating

Yeah, Morty.

Yeah, now, because the gym coach was a vampire,

Yeah, pretty specific pitch, Summer.

Yeah, Summer, it's a big universe.

Yeah, sure thing. Wait a minute. What? Why?

YEAH, SURE, I MEAN, IF YOU SPEND ALL DAY SHUFFLING WORDS AROUND,

Yeah, sure. Wait. What?

Yeah, take my word for it.

Yeah, Tammy!

Yeah, totally uncertain.

Yeah, uh, my name is Ron Benson.

Yeah, well, that's not really the theme of tonight's party.

Yeah, well, when I get out of this teenyverse,

Yeah, yeah, yeah, your medal's in the mail.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I mean, like, energy wise.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Fuck you for shooting my liver.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I get it.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I heard this one.

YEAH, YEAH.

Yeah, you don't love people in hopes of a reward,

Yeah, you know, he does have a lot of really weird,

Yeah, you're still doing it.

Yeah!

Yeah! Awesome!

YEAH! DEFINITELY.

Yeah! Oh, my God, Toby Matthews!

Yeah! Oh, thank god!

YEAH! WHOO! YEAH!

Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!

Yeah? Well, so what? At least he was himself.

YEAH? YEAH, I HAVE IT.

Yeah.

Yeah. I like it this way.

Yeah. Listen to that baby purr.

Yeah. Think before you talk shit.

Yeah. We suck. Are you still here?

Yep, it really makes you appreciate how fickle the universe can be.

Yep.

YEP. [ SIGHS ]

Yep. Cha ching.

Yep. Don't even sweat.

Yes, because there's no Africa.

Yes, Beth.

Yes, Chris. Thanks for reminding me of that.

Yes, I did it! There is no God!

Yes, I I need you to take...

Yes, I will!

Yes, look through my eyeholes.

YES, MORTY.

Yes, please, no more of that.

Yes, Summer, vampires are real. Who knew?

Yes, we discovered a species of tiny pig

Yes! [Bleep] you, God!

Yes! Did you want me to weep with joy?

Yes! I'm 100% not sure about anything!

Yes! You did it! Yes!

Yes. Oh, Unity, I am so sorry.

Yes. Why?!

Yo, this is why.

You "sat through it"?

You also refuse to authorize emotional countermeasures.

You always were good at pointing out potentially obscure comedy.

You and I are going to survive this.

You and Unity are like

You appear to be dying.

You are classified as a hostile entity.

You are free to be free!

You are going to help me.

You are my seed, my worm, my earliness,

YOU ARE NOT LIKE OTHER CARBON BASED LIFE FORMS.

You beg me to help you, I share something personal with you,

You better get moving.

You better hurry up. Now's your last chance.

You both hate yourselves andeach other.

You broke your time twice.

You can get one of your balls back.

YOU CAN MAKE ANYTHING SOUND BAD, MORTY.

YOU CAN PARK IN A HANDICAP SPOT, MORTY.

You can put it in your mouth and eat it.

You can put your faith in nukes if we get through this, general.

YOU CAN WE GOT CHABOS AND FLOBOS,

You can't change.

You can't just add a

You can't say f... "'f' you" to your granddaughter.

You could tell our parents started with naming with him.

You crafty son of a

YOU CREATED A DAY CARE FOR MY DAD?

You did great, guys. Couldn't have done it without ya.

You didn't have bad memories of him?

You didn't laugh at the scene in the bar.

You didn't tell me you fucked around with portals and shit.

You do not think that about me!

You do realize this will make the flooble crank obsolete?

YOU DO UNDERSTAND I'M TELEPATHIC, RIGHT? I'M BEING POLITE.

You do your thing, but I can't afford to

You don't [bleep] with time!

You don't have to mollycoddle me.

You don't know it was him.

You don't know what you're doing.

You don't stop living until I say so!

You don't think that's overdoing it a little?

You don't want me and Rick to be happy?

You don't want to find your own little hatch?

You double down!

You dumb ass three dimensional monkey ass dummies?

YOU EVER HEAR ABOUT WALL STREET, MORTY?

You gonna take a lobster to see "Iron Man 3"?

You got everything it takes. But it'll still be fun

You got that crystal over there,

You got that right.

You got to got to just remember

You got to hang on tight, you know?

You got to hide me, Sleepy Gary.

YOU GOT TO LOOK OUT FOR NUMBER ONE.

YOU GUYS ARE ENJOYING THIS?

You guys are talking about my species.

You guys are the fucking worst! Your gods are a lie!

You guys hold tight.

You guys suck!

You guys, we got to hurry. I just got back from Walmart.

You have 10 seconds to get out of the ship!

You have a job. You're making really good money.

You have a tip about Rick Sanchez?

You have a whole planet sitting around making your power for you?

YOU HAVE ARRIVED AT KROMBOPULOS MICHAEL.

You have dropped so many balls, man.

You have locked up under the garage!

You have nothing to fear. So what about Summer?

You have the single worst marriage I've ever witnessed.

You have to get us the fuck out of here.

You have to have some individuality left in there!

You have to say you couldn't hack it.

You haven't actually gotten ice cream,

YOU HAVEN'T CHANGED YOUR MIND ABOUT THAT.

You hear me, Jerry? You're gonna be fine.

You hear me? Come back.

You heard the man, horse doctor.

You hungry? Come on down.

You just got saved by the bell, bitch!

You just gotta get it together.

You just have to wait for hating you to bore them.

YOU JUST MIGHT.

You just now remembered your Nana exists.

You just say what's in your squanch and people understand.

You kids have nice feet. Mind if I take a picture?

You killed my gun!

You killed us!

YOU KIND OF WASTED YOUR 30s, THOUGH,

YOU KNOW HOW INCONVENIENT THAT'S GONNA BE TO MY WORK?

You know how long a second can take in a microverse?

You know how much time is past the dinosaurs?

You know I can make with this stuff?

You know me. I'm Reverse Giraffe.

You know they won't come here anymore.

You know what I'm certain of, Rick?

You know what I'm saying?

You know what they do

You know what, Pencilvester?

You know what, Rick? I guess, in a way...

You know what? I shouldn't be so critical.

You know what? I'm taking this.

YOU KNOW WHAT? SCREW IT!

You know you're kind of a dick, right?

YOU KNOW, AT LEAST ALL THE DEATH AND DESTRUCTION

You know, at... at my house?

You know, geez, Rick!

YOU KNOW, GRANDPA GOES AROUND,

You know, I mean, like, old lady science, you know?

You know, I take personal space pretty seriously,

You know, I think beta seven over there

You know, I think the bottom line is, Jerry,

You know, in exchange for food.

You know, it's a small world.

You know, life.

You know, one time, Rick sh accidentally shot

You know, people are gonna kill each other.

You know, Rick, this isn't easy for us.

You know, so we can take them...

You know, sometimes it's called the cleansing or the red time.

You know, these little fellows help me get through the day.

YOU KNOW, THIS SEEMS A LITTLE SHADY.

You know, w we all remember you as a friend.

You know, we We need it to start our car.

You know, we will come out of this stronger as a family.

You know, we... w we should be proud of ourselves.

You know, when I first met birdperson, he was, uhh...

You know, words hurt.

You know, worf from "Star Trek,"

You know, y y y... Do you want to live?

You know, y y you may as well be old again.

YOU KNOW, YOU CAN LEAVE ANYTIME YOU WANT, RICK.

YOU KNOW, YOU COULD STOP THIS KILLING FROM HAPPENING, RICK!

YOU KNOW, YOU DID A BAD THING SELLING THAT GUN,

YOU KNOW, YOU'RE GONNA BE FREE

You know, you're not being very supportive

You know, you're right.

You know, you're you're really up to no good

You know? I need to relax.

You let your wiener do the walking, and now I'm dead.

You lied! You lied about the charge!

You like that Redgren Grumbholdt reference?

You like that? You want me to cut to three weeks earlier

You listen to me, you son of a bitch parasite scum.

You little on deck, in the wings shoulder to cry on!

You little piece of shit.

You little turd.

You lock yourself in, or you go out and do some stuff?

You love them. Hai!

You make fun of me all the time... You're always picking on me...

You may already be learning something important...

You may have created this universe, Rick, but I live in it.

You mean drunk?

You mean stealing people's bodies? Summer, rude.

You might as well ask a horse to fix a merry go round.

You might start enjoying yourself.

You might survive and I believe I,

You might want to get checked.

YOU MISS YOUR FART FRIEND, HUH?

You must be Summer's mom and dad.

You need to tell these people they're in a battery, Rick.

You people haven't heard of The Dream?

You psycho bag of squanch!

YOU PUT THE VALUE OF ALL LIFE ABOVE YOUR OWN.

You quit school, but you still got some learning to do.

You quit tugging. I I'm in the middle of my news.

You ratted on me?! I'm tiny Rick!

You realize heroin makes up 10% of the atmosphere

You realize our planet's name means dirt, right?

You realize they sing no matter how much you tip?

You really are your father's children.

You really don't want to talk to me about this.

You really dropped the ball, man.

YOU REALLY NEED TO RESPECT YOUR GEARS, RICK.

You really should be cleaning from top to bottom.

You recognize this?

You remember that one time?

YOU SAID YOURSELF THAT LIFE MUST BE PROTECTED,

You say you get it, but I'm scared you'll keep doing it.

You see that town across the river?

YOU SELL WEAPONS TO KILLERS FOR MONEY?

You should never, ever, ever, have gotten together

You shut up, you big female asshole!

You shut your mouth, you dirty knife nipple bastards.

YOU SOLD A GUN TO A MURDERER SO YOU COULD PLAY VIDEO GAMES?!

You son of a bitch!

You son of a bitch.

You stay put, Jerry.

You stole a time freezing crystal from testicle monsters?!

You sure about that, Rick?

You sure you don't want to join in?

You target chest pce of

You think I want to be an omniscient immortal being

You think I'm standing here?

You think there's some other word that will hurt my feelings?

YOU THINK WE'RE KEPT HERE AGAINST OUR WILL?

You think you're great together,

You think you're tough, huh, Morty?

You tried to kill yourself.

You two are putting aside your bullshit,

You two call yourselves geniuses,

You want Jerry?

You want to check it out?

You want to get in on this, Rick?

You want to get purged, you bring it!

You want to go upstairs and cut carrots

You want to see children die?!

You want to slow dance?

You were just being lazy!

You were right, Morty

You were so small and cute.

You would ever stay together.

You would?

You, not me! You!

You... you want me to come with?

You'll be fine. Ship, keep Summer safe

You'll be taking most of their energy.

You're a great student and the fact that

You're a horse surgeon, not a deer surgeon.

You're a petty person, and you're insecure,

You're a pretty great guy.

You're a whole planet now, huh?

You're afraid of your own primal instincts.

You're afraid the big, bad hive mind

You're an 80 year old man in a clone body,

You're basically This is slavery.

You're better at what I do without even trying.

You're both pieces of shit. Yeah.

You're both young, you're both unsure

You're classified as a hostile entity,

YOU'RE DOING GREAT.

You're excited about that?

You're free to be yourselves.

You're going to be okay. You will come back as babies.

You're gonna land on your feet, Jer.

You're gonna need to harness your repressed rage.

You're gonna take that box outside,

You're gonna want to put them on that giant speaker system

You're growing up so fast.

You're guests here on my planet.

You're here

You're holding me verbally hostage.

You're how Beth sees me?

You're immortal, right, which means your life is infinite.

You're just gonna make more swelling.

You're language has the word "squanch" in it a lot.

You're leading the tree people?

You're looking real good. Oh, my God.

You're my battery, motherfucker.

You're never gonna see anything again, you little dummy!

You're not a threat to yourself and others anymore?

You're not allowed to interpret the will of the heads!

YOU'RE NOT GOING TO.

You're not in any of mine.

You're not in any of my photos, Mr. Poopybutthole.

You're not leaving, right?

You're not paying any rent,

You're not the victim here!

You're now entitled to adoration from your children.

You're one of them, aren't you?

You're overthinking it, Summer. I'm tiny Rick!

You're really going for it over there, huh?

You're right.

You're sending me mixed messages, Rick.

You're smart. You'll figure it out.

You're spinning this to his credit?

You're still the same old Morty.

YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE MY FRIEND!

You're talking about creating a planet of slaves.

You're the man of the house, and you don't have a job.

You're the only single mind I've met

You're the worst! No, you're the worst! You don't support this family!

You're trying to create drama because you're bored.

You're under the spell of an evil monster!

You're unemployed, and you're bored.

You're wearing the hat and everything!

You're welcome.

You've been able to sustain world peace

You've got some time to kill before the procedure,

You've got the day off!

You've just gone where ice cream is.

Your boobs are all hanging about,

Your character's totally protected.

Your dad gets to walk all over us

Your debt is 7,000 fed credits.

Your demonized mythologizations of each other are cooperating.

YOUR DESTINATION IS BELOW.

Your exile ends today.

Your family, your leaders,

Your father put a hatch in my garage.

YOUR GELDON CONVERTOR IS PRETTY DINGED UP.

Your genitals can be molded into a functioning heart

Your grandson is a shitty person. Leave now.

Your job was to put the mattress under Mr. Benson.

Your marriage can rest easy now.

Your parents get to exist.

Your people have a holiday named Ricksgiving.

Your relationship with your father is psychotic.

Your sister crossed tiny Rick?

Your time is all ripped up to hell!

Your total is $12.37.

Your vehicle... is it from the gods?

Yours, and nobody else's, Unity.

Zeep, is Rick The alien.

Zeep, you have an honored guest from beyond the stars.

2... aah!

3 6 4 2 1 1 2 5.

6, 10, what's the difference?

6,000 light years across the galaxy.

7 7 1 9 8 3 6 4 2 1 1 2 5.

9 out of 10 times, it's a ship full of dead aliens

10, 9...

20 terawatts of juice up to the engine, Morty.

24 hours, 5 planets, 5 songs.

42 hours.

57. Thankfully, you're in a super sophisticated

Aah! I'm the eyehole man!

Aah! Okay, I have a pen. Go.

aah! Okay, s sorry about that.

Actually, make it a flat head. Actually, make it a Phillips.

All right, Morty, hold on to something. Whoa!

Am I me? Am I talking right now?

Are you okay? Yes.

Are you sure? I don't know.

Awesome!

Back the fuck up! Aah!

Back up. Ohh.

blugh! If you're from earth,

Boo rah! And, Beth, how many times

But I've known him my whole life. No, you haven't, Jerry.

but we never get to... Hi, everybody.

but you will not permit it. Correct.

Calm down. Screw you, Rick!

Can he have visitors? He'd like to be alone.

Children of God! Ah ta ta ta!

Come on, spit it out! Well, you don't exactly make it easy, Rick.

Come on. Give me that thing.

Dad! Dad!

Daddy. Hunter!

Do it right. I'm doing it, too.

Do it. Do the dance. Oh [bleep] look at that.

Do the cabbage patch. It's a classic dance.

Don't you get it?! Don't you get it?!

English, please. English?

Excuse me? Nothing.

Eyeholes. Get them today. Ikea... You got to be careful, Morty.

fits right in. Lil' bits!

Gaaaaay. That is pretty gay.

Get him out of here. What?

Get it? What?!

Get out! Get out! Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa!

get out. Um, what?

Give me my eyeholes! Help me, please!

Give me the time crystal. Wh what are you doing?

Go in the waiting room, dad. Fine!

Good luck. Thanks.

Got it? Got it.

Grandpa Rick! Hold still, "Summer".

Great. Rick!

Happy ascension! Happy ascension!

Hello, Rick here. Don't fall for it. It's a bit.

Hello? Hey, Summer, it's grandpa.

Here, Rick! Use me! Oh, thanks, Pencilvester!

Hey, dad. Yeah?

Hey, flip back to the news. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Hey, uh, let me ask you something. Yes?

Hey, what are you doing? A sequel.

Hey, Zeep. Huh?

Hi, Morty. Hey.

Hi, sweetie. Hi, dad.

Holy hell. Sir!

Holy! A monster!

Hooray Principal Vagina! Yeah, I'll take it.

How do you know... How do you know that...

How do you like this? Okay, buddy.

How hilarious is that? Re really funny, Zeep

Huh, that's weird. Huh, that's weird.

Hunter? Daddy?

I can barely hear you. Who is it?

I didn't mean to... I'm gonna have a bruise!

I didn't! You didn't what?

I don't know what to do! Oh, crap!

I don't understand. Yeah, me, neither.

I have no idea. I'm not sure.

I I thought... Keep breathing!

I made you! Yeah.

I need to deal with. Don't worry about it, Morty.

I need you to take down... A plan that's what?

I think so. Wait, who said that?

I went to college with Hamurai. Hai!

I'll leave it at that. Fine, dad!

I'll purge you. You're the worst.

I'm gonna get a closer look. Oh, okay, sure.

I'm here to see Ron Mendleson. Third floor.

I'm sorry. Daddy, leave the car alone.

I'm taking down this beacon. No, stop! That's not fair!

in order to get this? Nope.

Incoming! We got a device!

Is he going to die? Don't worry.

Is that a real question? Just making conversation.

Is the world gone? Is the world gone?

Is, um, is he mad at me? He's not pressing charges.

It can't be worse than this. Sure. Okay, Morty.

It killed it itself! ...unless it's told to do something!

It looks to me like the... Morty?

It melted a child! My ship doesn't do anything...

It's a different planet. By the way,

It's not cool. What?!

It's picture day! It's not... don't overreact.

It's still alive. Well, do we...

It's terrible! Whoa! Morty! We're guests here.

It's time to save a life! Geez.

Jerry! Dad, what are you doing?!

Just relax. Don't worry, Jerry.

Keep Summer safe. Aaaaaaah!

Kick his ass, Rick! Die, mother[bleep]!

living in perfect peace. Oh, I know what this is!

Looking for you, asshole. I told you past the dinosaurs.

Maybe? I think? Shut up, Morty.

Me! Yeah, not with that attitude.

Microverse! Uh, teenyverse.

Morty, hop on my back. Why?

Morty, you listen to his tale. Okay.

Morty! Rick, I didn't do anything.

Morty. Birdperson?

My friend. Aah!

My Nana! Huh?

My wife coach? Your what?

Nano doctor. Nano doctor.

Never go in my room again. I didn't!

Nice! Aww!

No, Beth! Oh fuck!

No! Drop it.

No! Why are you with taddi Mason?

No. And away we go!

No. Yes.

Not anymore. You're overreacting!

Now hand me that flat head screwdriver. Now hand me that Phillips screwdriver.

Nuh uh! Yuh huh!

Nurse, please move that snake. That's my nurse.

Oh ho ho! Here we go. I'm not watching.

Oh, are you kidding me? Geez, what's going on?

Oh, Beth! Why?! I need an ambulance!

Oh, geez. Hmm?

Oh, god! Steve! What the hell, Rick?!

Oh, God. Get the deer in the car, Jerry.

Oh, god. What's happening? Look at me!

Oh, I'm sorry. It's okay.

Oh, my god! Call an ambulance!

Oh, my God! Concentrate, Morty.

Oh, my god! I thought you went to a concert!

Oh, my God. What?

Oh, that was a close call. Oh, yeah!

Oh, yeah, do it. Check me out.

Oh, you agree, huh? It's funny.

Oh! God! Mom! Sweetheart, are you okay?

Oh... oh, yeah? Yeah!

Ohh! Relax.

Okay. Deal.

Okay. I'm not trying to be rude.

Ooh, is it taddi Mason? Like the movie "the purge"?

Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! Summer, we're trying to sleep.

Or...? We isn't.

Ow, ow, ow! Oh [bleep].

Phew! Oh.

Pretty simple, right? I need food.

Purge 'em. Me?

Quit screwing around. Morty? Are you all right?

Rick, are you really a musician? Who's not a musician, Morty?

Rick, she took the car! You fucking kidding me, Morty?!

Rick, what the hell are you doing? Saving our lives!

Seems a little insincere. What? No.

Shall we, master Morty? We shall.

Shhh. Shush, Morty.

Should we check it out? Sure. Why not?

Shut up, Jerry. Okay.

Shut up! We go get some ice cream, motherfucker!

Shut up! You shut up!

Sleepy Gary, a word? Sure, Jerry.

Smith family? Yes?

So, that's the guy, huh? Yeah, that's him.

Somebody call the planet of tron! Doesn't feel so good, does it?

Someone? Get off the high road, Summer.

Sorry, Summer. Man, I'm sorry, Summer

Steve wasn't real? He's a real piece of shit.

Summer is safe. I don't feel safe

Summer! Summer, listen carefully.

Taddi? Yes, Jerry, it's taddi,

Teenyverse. Teenyverse.

Thank you. You're welcome.

Thanks, uncle Steve! Best uncle ever!

that movie sucked. Oh, my God. Hold on.

that we got in the first act? Yeah, what about them?

That's right. What?!

The son of a bitch is gonna kill me! What?!

The world? Headism is a hit.

Then why don't you come to lil' bits... Lil' bits!

These people need to think we're aliens. What? Why?

They're a higher priority. Stop saying I'm unemployed!

They're all dead. What?

They're on right now. We did. They're on.

Time prison? Yeah.

to the purely pornographic. Absolutely!

Told you, Zeep. Oh, they won't be slaves.

Uh huh. Ew! What the hell?

Uh, we did. We're not wearing collars.

W w what do you mean? I was going to use your ship

w what's your name? Arthrisha.

Wait a minute, what? And away we go!

Wait, what am I saying? Were either

Want some crackers? No, thank you.

We almost died! I don't want to hear it, Summer!

We can't. Absolutely not.

We have them on. What are you talking about?

We have three tron people over here. No, it doesn't. It hurts.

We... we just missed you a lot. Yeah, we missed you so much.

We're back in certain time. Problem solved.

We're gonna have to go inside

We're tourists. Not anymore.

We're worried about Jerry. Well, you're 39 years too late,

What a perplexing mystery this is." All right, all right.

What are you talking about? What's that mean?

What did who do? What do you mean?

What happened to you? Dad, get a job.

What happened? I hit a deer.

What is going on now?! Whoa! Whoa!

What the fuck did you do, Summer?! It was your ship!

What the hell is happening? This is healthy, trust me.

What? Take that thing down.

What? This is rum raisin!

What? Wait a minute.

What? What the hell are you doing?

What?! Damn.

What?! Uh oh.

What?! What kind of monster are you? A competent one.

What'd you do, Morty? I'm gonna help grandpa.

What's happening, grandpa? What's going on, Rick?

What's happening? Time is falling apart.

What's your problem? What's yours?

Where are mom and dad? What about mom and dad?

where it pits a man... Yeah!

Where's dad? Breaking news.

Who the fuck are you? My goofy brother, Steve.

Who? Me!

Who's got food for that guy? I do, but this is for me.

Who's this now? My lawyer.

Whoa! Aaah!

Whoa! Whoa!

Whoa! You see that? Get down!

Whoa! Whoa! Yeah!

With my family. What?!

Wow. Yeah?

Yay! Called it! Yes! Whoo hoo!

Yeah, but... I mean... Oh, forget it!

Yeah, you like that? Screw you.

Yeah!

Yeah! We did it! Yes!

Yeah! Whoo!

Yeah? Do you think we could take...

Yeah. I can't do that, Sleepy Gary.

Yeah. Well, guess what? I made him up.

Yeah. You see?

Yeah. I I'm pretty jealous. Don't be, Morty.

Yes, we're back! No more cats!

Yes, yes. 7 7 1 9 8...

Yes! Oh, yes!

Yes. Processing.

Yes. Yes.

You all right? Uh huh!

you don't click on it? No!

You don't have to bust my balls. Huh, this isn't right.

You fixed it. Yeah, I did.

You guys go nuts. This better not be a bribe.

You know what this human eats. Don't be gross, Tammy.

You liked it? Of course I did.

You mean like Vivaldi? No, Frasier.

You monster! Whoa. Bad tour.

You really think I'm that stupid? All right, hear me out on this.

You used to be my little girl. Yeah.

You're good at it, Rick. Watch me, baby.

You've reached Rick's voice mail. You know what to do.

Your stupid ship did it! Don't blame my ship!

...And every flavor

...and third level donors get our all access family pass.

...because it's never enough, Jerry! ...By your dangerously ill father!

...but you're unsupportable. ...Being dragged across the cosmos...

...Chocolate...

...five

...Just like you're back home.

...seven...

...six...

...Vanilla...

'cause cob planet is off the table.

'cause here comes a trouble mite.

'Cause I'll tell you a secret about Frankenstein...

'cause our weeds are wack, yo.

'cause you need to cut me some slack... S.

"Blane: Maybe I don't need a new friend."

"Blane: Spoken like someone with needs."

"Fade in. Exterior. Unnamed city. Day."

"Feels good."

"Fuck you."

"Full Ming Mong, Empty Gorbdork."

"Gestating"?

"Get Schwifty" was a jam.

"hey, look at me. I'm Mr. so and so dick.

"how did I get here?"

"I prefer to keep my penis."

"I'll take that. I'll have sex with that."

"it takes one to know one," and you stayed up all night

"Jacey reaches out and touches his face."

"Jan quadrant Vincent 16."

"Jerry, get a job!

"look at those douchebags purging,"

"Man vs. Car," the newest hit show,

"Mr. Bulldops"?

"Okay" like you're gonna quietly teleport somewhere

"Purge! Don't purge!"

"Quantum carburetor"? Jesus, Morty.

"Question mark."

"the personal space show."

"Title... 'three weeks earlier.'"

"uh, Tammy, you're a high school senior

"We're walkin' here!"

"Whoa, this is unexpected.

"World peace achieved." Nice.

[ CLICKS, COMPUTER CHIMES ]

[ DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS]

[ ELECTRICITY CRACKLES ]

[ ELECTRICITY CRACKLING ]

[ ENGINE REVS]

[ ENGINE SPUTTERING ]

[ FARTS ]

[ GASPS ] THE FACTORY TINT SETTING IS ALWAYS TOO HIGH!

[ GROANING ]

[ GROANS ] HERE. GO AWAY.

[ GROANS ] YOU'VE GOT WHAT THE INTERGALACTIC CALL

[ GROWLS ]

[ GRUNTS ]

[ HISSES ] AAH!

[ INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS ]

[ INDISTINCT SHOUTING ]

[ Laughing ] DUCK, DUCK, BIRDIE?

[ LAUGHS ]

[ LAUGHS ] I'M KIDDING. I KNOW THAT'S ON ME.

[ LAUGHS ] MARCO?

[ LAUGHS ] YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING?

[ LAUGHTER ]

[ MID TEMPO MUSIC PLAYS]

[ MOANING ]

[ MONITOR BEEPS ]

[ MOTOR WHIRRING ]

[ MUFFLED SCREAMING ]

[ SHOUTING IN ALIEN LANGUAGE ]

[ SPEAKING NATIVE LANGUAGE ]

[ TIRES SCREECH]

[ TRILLS ]

[ WAILING IN DISTANCE ]

[ WARBLING ]

[ Weakly ] I'M NOT READY TO DIE.

[ Weakly ] MORTY, WHY? WHY?

[ WHIMPERING ]

[ WHIMPERS ]

[ WHOOSH! ]

[Bleep]! Tiny Ri I ck!

# "T" to the "inkle" with a capital "I" #

# And I'm an alien with jazz rap style #

# And I'm gonna keep jazzing

# Ba da ba ba da ba bop

# everyone I know

# fat beats and an alien smile

# forget about everybody else

# forget about Jesus Christ

# forget about muhammad

# forget about, uh... All those religions #

# Girl, you got it going on

# goes away in the end

# Going to raves and waving our hands #

# Group text the whole crew, my mother... friends! #

# Head bent over #

# Hey, take your pants off #

# holdin' you so

# I got a mouthful of jazz for your ass #

# I hurt myself today

# I will let you down

# I will make you hurt

# I will you down

# I wish that we can go back to that time #

# It feels good

# It's schwifty time today #

# It's time to get schwifty #

# jazz rapping for an alien mile #

# jazz space phone, alien dial is my friend #

# Ketchup to the salt, salt to the fry #

# Lapoo lapoo lapoo dops #

# Living in never past bedtime land #

# My empire of dirt

# My empire of dirt hey, look, cops.

# my sweetest friend

# Napoo napoo napoo nots #

# Napoo napoo nots #

# No kitchen sinkles no little brother #

# oh, geez, oh

# Oh, it feels good

# Oh, yeah #

# Ohh, it feels good

# Ooh, ooh, ooh #

# Raised up posterior #

# Say it with me #

# Summer and tinkle, friends to the end #

# Summer and Tinkles friends with each other #

# Take a shit on the floor #

# These memories that we cherish #

# These memories that we have #

# Time to get schwifty in here #

# Uh oh #

# What have I become

# yeah

# Yeah, raised up posterior #

# You could have it all

# you could have it all he's not coming back, is he?

# You gotta get schwifty in here #

♪

♪ ♪

♪ ♪♪ ♪

♪ ♪ALL THE MOON MEN WANT THINGS THEIR WAY ♪♪

♪ ♪AND EVERYTHING IS ONE IN THE BEAUTY ♪♪

♪ ♪AND NOW WE SAY GOODBYE ♪♪

♪ ♪BUT WE MAKE SURE THEY SEE THE SUN ♪ ♪

♪ ♪COSMOS WITHOUT HATRED ♪ ♪

♪ ♪DIAMOND STARS OF COSMIC LIGHT ♪ ♪

♪ ♪GOODBYE ♪ ♪

♪ ♪GOODBYE, MOON MEN ♪ ♪

♪ ♪QUASARS SHINE THROUGH ENDLESS NIGHT ♪ ♪

♪ ♪SPACE, SPACE, SPACE, SPACE ♪ ♪

♪ ♪STARS LIKE DIAMONDS IN YOUR EYES ♪ ♪

♪ ♪THE GROUND CAN BE SPACE ♪ ♪

♪ ♪THE WORLDS CAN BE ONE TOGETHER ♪♪

♪ ♪WITH FEET MARCHING TOWARDS A PEACEFUL SKY ♪♪

♪ ♪YOU SAY GOODBYE, MOON MEN ♪ ♪

♪ ah, ah ♪

♪ are you afraid of me now?♪

♪ but you're not playing ♪

♪ can anyone understand?

♪ can you take me now? ♪

♪ Come together ♪

♪ CONNECTION ♪

♪ Do you feel it? ♪

♪ do you feel it? ♪

♪ Do you feel that I can see your soul? ♪

♪ Do you feel the pain in your heart? ♪

♪ don't leave me ♪

♪ Drink up, baby

♪ EXPERIENCE ♪

♪ get them away, away from this place ♪

♪ Help me; I'm gonna die!

♪ Help me!

♪ I want it real ♪

♪ I, I want it ♪

♪ I'm beggin' for help

♪ I'm dyin' in a vat

♪ I'm not who you're looking at ♪

♪ I'm really old; This isn't me ♪

♪ I'm screamin' for help

♪ in the gara a ge

♪ Is anybody listening'

♪ it doesn't match your face♪

♪ Lay it, lay it down ♪

♪ Let me out, set me free

♪ let me see your hand ♪

♪ LOVE ♪

♪ My life's a lie

♪ My real body's slowly dyin' in a vat ♪

♪ never leave me out ♪

♪ please come let me out

♪ run away with me now ♪

♪ show me what you got ♪

♪ stay up all night

♪ Stop lookin' at me like that and actually help me ♪

♪ That you'll never see

♪ this is not a dance

♪ what you see is not the same person as me ♪

♪ with love, connection, and experience ♪

♪ you're always talking ♪

♪♪

♫ I'm Mr. Bulldops ♫

♫ Shit on the floor ♫

♫ Take off your pants and your panties ♫

♫ Time to get schwifty in here ♫

♫ You gotta get schwifty ♫

Rick and Morty - Season 2
Rick and Morty is a wildly popular animated science fiction sitcom that premiered its second season in 2015. Created by Justin Roiland and Dan Harmon, this mind-bending show follows the misadventures of a cynical and eccentric alcoholic scientist named Rick Sanchez and his easily influenced, yet well-meaning grandson, Morty Smith. The voice cast for Rick and Morty includes Justin Roiland, who not only co-created the show but also voices both title characters. Chris Parnell lends his voice to Morty's insecure and hapless father, Jerry Smith, while Sarah Chalke brings life to Morty's intelligent and compassionate sister, Summer Smith. Spencer Grammer, then brings her talents to the voice of Morty's love interest, the strong-willed and adventure-seeking Tammy Guetermann. Season 2 of Rick and Morty takes viewers on a rollercoaster journey through various dimensions, parallel universes, and absurd situations. One of the most memorable episodes from this season is "Total Rickall," in which the family battles memory-altering alien parasites that implant themselves as beloved friends. The episode features hilarious cameos from a plethora of bizarre characters, including Reverse Giraffe and Pencilvester. Another fan-favorite episode from Season 2 is "The Ricks Must Be Crazy," in which Rick's flying car, the iconic spaceship known as the "Space Cruiser," breaks down in the middle of nowhere, prompting him to create a miniature universe to power it. As the miniature universe evolves and the civilization inside it thrives, conflicts arise, leading to unforeseen consequences. This episode not only provides humor and excitement but also delves into the ethical implications of playing god. In Season 2, Rick and Morty also explore their darker side with episodes like "Auto Erotic Assimilation," in which Rick reunites with an old flame, Unity, who happens to be a hive mind alien collective. This episode showcases the show's ability to tackle deeper themes such as existentialism, loneliness, and the complexities of relationships, all within the confines of a wacky and animated universe. The season continues to surprise and entertain with episodes like "Get Schwifty," where giant floating heads force Earth to compete in an intergalactic song competition to save it from destruction. This episode features one of the show's most memorable catchphrases, "Show me what you got!" Throughout Season 2, the animation style remains visually stunning, combining vibrant colors, unique character designs, and fantastic sci-fi landscapes. The show's unique blend of humor that ranges from slapstick to satirical, along with its numerous pop-culture references, adds an extra layer of entertainment for viewers. If you are a fan of Rick and Morty and want to relive the hilarious and mind-bending moments of Season 2, look no further! You can play and download the sounds from this season here. Immerse yourself in the quirky and unpredictable world of Rick and Morty, where no dimension is off-limits and sci-fi meets comedy. So, gather your gadgets, fasten your portal gun, and prepare for a wild ride! Whether you want to laugh, ponder the meaning of existence, or just enjoy the sheer creativity of the show, Rick and Morty Season 2 has something for everyone.
List of sound clips on this page:

To get the most from this site, please enable JavaScript.

AI-Powered Recommendations:

Rick Sanchez Sounds: Rick and Morty - Se… Pickle Rick Soundboard Cromulons Soundboard Rick and Morty Soundboard Rick and Morty - Season 4

You Might Also Like:

Rick and Morty Season 1 Summer Smith Unity Rick Sanchez : Rick and Morty Season 2 Rixk And Morty My Poopp Beth Smith : Rick and Morty Seasons 1 an… "Burp" "Rick And Morty" Rick Sanchez : Rick and Morty Season 1 Scary teacher Rick and Morty Rick and Morty Season 4 King Jellybean Cromulons Jerry Smith : Rick and Morty Season 1 Morty Smith : Rick and Morty Season 2